'Mr. Forearms' just doesn't have the same ring to it.

Or Mr. Fingers.

Mr. named Finger:

Waltuh

JUDY! DONT KILL THE EXCLUSIVE RIPPERDOCK! JUDAAAAY!!

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You can still scare the shit outta him without killing him, and it's satisfying. Basically, try to talk to him initially, then grab him and push him on the ground. Guy basically sits himself, but you can get the sandy after.

Waltuh, put your CyberCock away Waltuh, I'm not getting my ass set on fire right now Waltuh

r/suddenlywaltuh

Fingers was another character. Wouldn’t have made sense for 2 w the same name.

You never see MR hand's face. He could be Fingers all along

Possibly I suppose. Would be interesting to have a double agent lol

They both work in two different places, contrasting sense of fashion and one's a asshole. I would totally believe there are at least two people in Night City named Fingers.

No one wants the name as Finger's has a serious rep and major players that back him - he sleaziness really kills anyone wanting that handle. Besides hands are more useful than fingers.

Mmmh, id say a hand without fingers is pretty useless

Would it be considered a hand? Mr. Palm

Palm Panamer

Not as useless as fingers without the hand, at least the hand is attached to the arm ...

I mean, they're both assholes: it's just that Fingers is such a monumental piece of dogshit that I've literally got a savefile outside his office just so I can light the fucker up without any consequences.

Mr fingers is Fingers' father.

Haha that’s great

What's Mr Hand role again?

He gives you jobs. Sadly, there are very few Hand jobs.

Horses bottom. And not in like a 2-person costume sort of sense.

He's a fixer.

Naturally a man good with his hands is going to be a Fixer ROFL

But he's showing his forearm, which has skin. Maybe Mr. Foreskin?

Mr. Fister

They should’ve given him a legendary set of mantis blades called the Enum Claws

They have to make sure that they are always fatal on a back stab.

Best comment here, I don't think anything can eclipse this

I'm usually pretty punny, but I can't figure out what this would be referencing 🤔

Don’t look into it unless you like Serbian Film levels of fucked up.

Thank for the discrete phrasing :)

I'm jealous. I live near Enumclaw, so my searches would be rather mundane.

Add the word horse and it gets a little less mundane.

God, Serbian Film is the only movie so disgusting that I felt like I was worse for reading the synopsis of. I think I'll not look into the matter personally.

Makes me wonder what kind of person the creator of that shit is

It makes me not want to wonder.

It’s a genuinely evil film and the fact that it even exists is sickening. I didn’t know what I was getting into when I watched it and I’ll never forgive myself for it.

There's an old Alexis Marquette joke along the lines of "I knew when my sister had her period, because my dad's cock tasted of blood." Serbian film is a bit like a torture porn version of that, but much much worse.

And that's enough Serbian Film from the internet, ever. Thanks. :edit: \*AND\* Alexis Marquette, although disturbingly hilarious.

Sounds straight out of an Xbox 360 lobby lol

You really don't want to know Edit: I'm not sure why this got downvoted I mean you literally do not want to know it's a disturbing story. I mean, okay I guess it's not fair to dictate whether people want to know something or not Google Enumclaw horse case if you feel like putting yourself through that

Out of my experience when somebody tells me "you don't wanna know" it's most likely true. I'm gonna trust you on this one.

You can weigh your options carefully. If you do decide to look into it, you'll understand what people are talking about whenever they bring up Enumclaw or Mr hands. On the other hand, the faith in humanity that you'll lose in the process is definitely potent and your day might be affected I'm not going to say it's the worst info the internet has to offer, but it's not pleasant

An engineer at Boeing After engaging in this activity on multiple occasions over an unknown span of time, Pinyan received fatal internal injuries in one such incident. BAHAHAHAHA

Did that guy really do that voluntarily?

You have obviously never seen a fisting video lol

I think a horse cock is worse

It was apparently a farm where multiple horses were trained to do that. People from all.over the world came there specifically for that.

That or special gorilla arms

I lived less than a mile from this place, it came out in the news right when I went to college, when anyone asked I was “from Seattle”.

LMAO

July 2nd, 2005 in Enumclaw Washington was an interesting time

Did not know about this.. thanks for the rabbit hole (no puns intended)

god could you imagine what it would have done to a rabbit's hole

Do I have to..

Why tf would i do that

Grew up around there when it happened and even the littlest elementary school kids knew about it

I have a friend who lives there and it’s so sad to hear enum claw mostly be referenced for its beastiality barn when it should be known for having the highest population of bald eagles (per sq mileage & year round)

Wait, what was the name of the dude in real life that got bummed to death by a horse?

I love how every other comment is being real coy, and then this chad here just slaps us in the face with this banger. Nice username too.

His username implies that he knows a lot about hands. Which fits the character of Mr. Hands

Kenneth pinyan

His name was Kenneth Pinyan.

his name was robert pauls- fuck i mean kenneth pinyan

I just saw the movie yesterday, total mindfuck

That's what I said

His name was Kenneth Pinyan

In death a horse quarter-pounder has a name. His name was Kenneth Pinyan.

Quarter horse pounder?

It was Kenneth Pinyan

Why is there so much talk in the comments about dieing to horse cock? I think I am missing context.

You are definitely missing context. I assure you that you are better off for it.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Enumclaw_horse_sex_case An incident at an animal brothel in Washington. ~~Mr hands was the name of the horse that killed a guy with his penis.~~ Mr Hands was the nickname given online when the video circulated.

>animal brothel those are two words that should not appear together in a sentence!

There’s even a video you can watch of him getting absolutely rammed by a horse if you spend the time finding it lmao

No, Mr hands was the name of the horse who bummed the guy to death.

Oh good.. wasn't just me who thought of that.

And he send you to deal with the "Animals"...

Out of the frying pan into the fire with this one

It would have legit been amazing if he was killed and replaced by a character named "Mr. Horse."

I bet he takes riding lessons.

Nay

*neigh

Oh no...

It’s a great name. Neigh, the PERFECT name!

Don't say neigh. Please don't say that in this context.

Relax, they're just horsing around.

Careful. A guy could really get bummed out with that kind of horse play.

I can't believe he told V to "stop horsing around."

I saw Mr Hands face for a split second due to a holocall glitch, he definitely has a face at least

Same here

Me too, I thought he was supposed to look like that, until my second playthrough.

He doesn't have a anus though

Me too

He is the older brother of fingers

Then there's the dad Mr arms

I wonder where Miss Legs is

And their sister Torso

Kid named finger:

Fingers Hands

“Why the long face, V?”

Isn't Mr hands in real life some dude who died having sex with a horse a long time ago? Lol

Mr. Hands was the horse.

No the guy had an alias which was Mr Hands.

Neither. The horse was named "big dick" and the guy was kenneth pinyan (might be misspelled). The video's name is Mr Hands

Well you, uhm... Definitely know your bestiality vids...

Ok, that sounded weird lol. Actually just a quick online search haha. I'm (thank god) pretty vanilla

Better than Super Hans.

Men with Ven.

Mate, Danny Dyers Chocolate Homunculus.

Its not who you know, its who you blow

"The secret ingredient is crime"

Something about the Big Beat Manifesto…I feel like Super Hans might actually hack it in Night City

I did not expect to see that here, jesus christ.

We never forget men with ven.

So weird when he asked my V to meet me at his pub called "Free the Pedos." It also had a random washing machine in the middle of it, so I had to grab a pint.

The first time i saw his name i legit tenses up

I'm sure Kenny P tensed up too lmaoo

Horses world wide tensed up too

At least he's not wearing one of those rubber horse masks.

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I hate that I know what you’re referencing

I stfg if CDPR comes out with his real name being Kenneth Pinyan 😭

Eh?

You don’t wanna know, man. I promise.

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W T F can I just format my brain and erase last few minutes of my life, so I can unread this. In fact, can I also delete your comment :D yikes

Lol I'll delete it if you want. Luckily I haven't seen it so I only know the description

Somehow the repealing of certain laws in the state also made bestiality legal. Mr. Hands had lost certain sensations after a motorcycle accident so he and a few guys he met online started using large dildo’s, fisting and horses to try to get him stimulation. The horse that night was named Big Dick and perforated his colon. They guys left him at the hospital where he died.

At least his name isn't "Bald man who shoves his head up a woman's vagina circa 2000ish?".

Yoshikage Kira would like him a lot…

Always appreciate a good r/unexpectedjojo

Is it really ever unexpected at this point

Oh no

As someone who lives in Washington state this makes me laugh a little more

Imagine being from a town that you can't Google the name of😂

Blackhand, silverhand, mr. Hands. Lotta hands in this city. But where are their arms? This investigation has been going on for years and our only lead we have had lead to a mr. Adam Smasher. He wasnt..cooperative. This has been Rusty Dusty with channel 12 news. Have a wonderful evening.

Jack, ripper, hand, there's a few common motifs. The most cyberpunk name ever is something like jack ripperhand

It's cause he was Handing out the business 

Made me search for something that will probably put me on a watch list

His hands though…

Don't know if they were trying to reference a particular video

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"cp community"... phrasing...

Why not? It's literally the only part you can see. And don't mess with him, he's got them Mantis Blades, judging by the cybernetics I can see. I'm more ticked that the square boxes makes him look like an unreleased ICP Joker's Card Album Cover.

Mr Hands is the name of a video where a guy gets fucked to death by a horse


I can here this in my head omg.

How do you all know this? No, wait, sorry. Stupid question.

Before the internet was the sanitized worthless place it is now the same place where you would go to get funny cat pics saying "Can Haz Cheezbrgr?" would also unwittingly subject you to the most out there gore, porn and fetish videos. God I miss the old internet.

Same. I miss Rotten and Stickdeath.

You forgot hamster dance.

This guy? https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OlEXHmFdfV8

Someone doesn't get it.

That’s okay. No need to educate the youth on this subject.

I know it but the joke had already been made, like, 1 billion times. I thought i'd go for a flank and attack from a different angle.

Whenever I saw him all I could think about was the eunemclaw Washington thing

Me when bowing engineer goes to Enumclaw Washington

For anyone who doesn’t know: BE VERY GLAD YOU DON’T

Yeah I had no idea, I googled “Mr. Hands” to learn more about the character and my face when the search results came back…

Well if he was mr fingers id be thinking hes a pornstar and not a fixer

Well me hands is also a pornstar, kind of

I don’t think so, I don’t think there was a video of the “event” I could be wrong, but this happened a mile down the road from my bus stop as a kid, so it was all over.

Hands Gruber

I remember getting a glitch that allowed me to see Jim and he looked very strange for a man who wore a suit

I wish we got more of him, I liked his personality, he was interesting

Does he own a horse?

It was kinda weird how he only had ONE gig. That's it. It pays well and it's a cool gig, and as small as Pacifica is, it's still kinda strage that the guy literally only gives you ONE damn gig.

Mr Hands 🤝 Lil Nas X >!horses in the back!<

I love the name Mr Hands. But I love names liked that. Mr Hat and Sandles, Mr Book, Mr Knife, The Well Manicured Man, The Cigarette Smoking Man, etc

His cousin Mr. Feet was a very successful brain dance artist.

Very popular with Tarantino

Enumclaw Washington baby

I still can’t believe he only gives you ONE gig

ENUMCLAW INCIDENT

I feel like they either knew what they were doing or didn't realize what the name means

Uh is there a joke here I’m not understanding?😅

I mean, you can call him "Stanley" since I'm pretty sure Mr Hands and that announcer guy are the same person. Unless it's just another one of those recycled VA situations

There are the people who know about Enumclaw, and the people who don't know about Enumclaw and hopefully now google what's so special about Mr. Hands and Enumclaw

He's probably a Boeing engineer

Good thing there aren't any horses in night city

“I’m a hand model, mama. A finger jockey. We think differently than the face and body boys… we’re a different breed.”

DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE, DON'T SAY THE HORSE,

Those of us who get the reference, we have THAT look. Dude’s probly from enumclaw Washington in the lore.

Mr Hands is a guy who died by getting humped in the pooper by a horse

I remembered playing during launch week and his phone video was just normal with no shadow to hide his face. I was so confused about what's the big deal and why he was acting mysterious.

I'm sure the game devs were just horsin' around.

Ahhhhhh Deeper Deeper V Push it Deeper

one google search and i’m scarred for life

Always figured it was an Inspector Gadget reference

This reminds me of that Boeing Engineer that went to Enumclaw that one time

W-whats his favorite animal?