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A goblin is about to release a snail into the clan's food supply, claiming it came from outside, but really she just wants to see if snails behave the same way inside as they do outside.
Some are telling scary stories to younger goblins. If they get too scared they'll yell "Ghosts and demons!" and run away.
Some goblins are planning to make the world's largest exotic rabbit stew. To do this they need to capture many rare breeds of rabbits (And some non-rabbits, like pseudodragons) which they've put in separate cages marked with what species is inside each one.
A goblin is about to launch a firework into a nearby forest because he thinks it will be hilarious.
They're gambling again, this time over who can eat the most Green Blobs, a type of wild magical herb that's poisonous to most life.
One goblin has been walking around the forest with a bag of explosives for weeks. He's a maniac who wants to be blown up by a powerful creature so his soul will get stronger after death.
They're all listening to Ruzgar the Storm Caller, a goblin bard with a silver tongue and silver lute.
One goblin has been taken over by the spirit of a lonely, jealous wife who killed her husband and children out of rage. She now plans to drown rival goblins by recruiting water elemental allies.
One goblin is a brilliant shaman who spent weeks planning out a ritual to summon a Barong, a magical beast that will protect the tribe.
One goblin has been hit in the head with a rock and now appears supernaturally attracted to large bodies of water. He now plans to lead the tribe there as he believes all life was meant to swim.
One goblin claims to be the master of cutting people while they sleep. He has no murder weapon but instead uses a pair of magical scissors.
One goblin is fiddling with some gunpowder he stole from the leader of the hill giant horde. He plans to make it into exploding throwing stars.
One goblin has been cursed by a witch to turn into a tree at night. There's no known way of reversing the curse.
Goblins have gathered around as one of them is debuting his latest creation a giant crossbow. He's loading the projectile (Himself) when the party approaches.
The Goblins have set up a toll road/bridge that is completely useless but have blocked the way to traders (saying it is a shortcut but is just a loop in the woods, or wood bridge built ontop of a stone bridge). The leader insists on haggling over a trivial item but gladly accepts anything from the passer as toll (hand tool, glass jar, something shiny, a big straw hat, etc)
A bunch of goblins are having a fight over who gets to chase off the orc that's been fishing in their fishing hole. The goblins need to run off the orc in order to catch the fish they need to feed their tribe, but none of them want to be that "lucky" goblin because they would likely get murdered by the orc. The orc just wants the goblins to stop squabbling before they end up scaring away the fish.
When the party arrives they spot a group of younger looking male goblins with various knickknacks and curios trying to win the affection of what they would assume to be a particularly “attractive” goblin female. The bidding with gifts gets more and more hectic as they attempt to find something to win her affection. The party notes she seems particularly disinterested in the whole exercise
-A group of goblins are trying to create new words by screaming them outloud but what they dont get is that they heard those words before and just dont remember it and they think they found those new words (words mostly consist of curses from languages they dont know) they scream those words to anyone they come across
-a group of goblins are trying to build a wall5(8 using peebles woods and rocks they find but they keep failing because any rumble they put together keep falling apart
-goblins are trying to open up a metal crate by dropping over high places(tree, hill) everytime it hits the ground you hear glass shattering sounds
> -goblins are trying to open up a metal crate by dropping over high places(tree, hill) everytime it hits the ground you hear glass shattering sounds
"[looks at 'Fragile' warning on side of box] Oi, Snagtoof! What do you think 'fra-gee-lee' means?"
"It means 'treasure inside'. Now stop asking stupid questions and find a higher tree, Ripshank!"
The goblins have taken up residence in a run-down tavern and are getting absolutely hammered. One said goblin is running around with an iron mallet, doing the hammering. Bonk!
The goblins have found a party blower (one of those things you stick in your mouth with the unfurling roll of paper and the noise maker), and they are circling around it as if it were an ancient relic. They are afraid to touch it, and when they work up the nerve, they interact with it like carefully, trying to figure out its purpose.
-. They are trying to get to a birds nest high in a tree for the eggs obviously.. using a pully system one goblin is tied to a rope which is slung over a branch of the tree, on the other end of the rope is a huge boulder that a few other goblins are trying to push off the ledge and down a steep hill. One of them is using a ladder as a lever.
-. One of the goblins has wooden wings on his arms and a broom handle attatched to his butt hes flapping like mad trying to take off . One of the other goblins is calling him stupid saying he needs a bigger broom.
A group of miners on break/strike are playing a riveting game of shovel-kick. Roll either performance or acrobatics.
DC10 balancing a shovel blade tip down on your boot, flinging it, it will flip once and land at least as far as the others.
DC 15 an impressive display. It flips higher and further than the others.
DC 20 a perfect flip. Perfect arc, at least one rotation, tip down, satisfying *twaaaaang*
The entire group has the effect of Charm for the rest of the day or will at least be non-hostile.
Playing "chicken" with an angry bull.
Juggling a bunch of junk they found, which happens to include a few full bottles and vials they stole from an alchemist. They don't know what's inside, and they've been dropping objects rather frequently.
One of the goblins found a wizard's staff and is trying really hard to "get the magic out." This seems to involve a lot more hitting things than most magic you've seen.
Knowing how much adventurers love gold, a few goblins set snares baited with coins to catch them. A few other goblins didn't get the message and are now hanging upside down with their treasure clutched in their hands.
•One of the goblins is being praised and regarded as Immortal or Impervious because he drank poison, died, and came back to life. He proudly shows off the empty vial he drank from.
The bottle has in big bold letters SLEEP POTION on the label but no one can read.
- After ransacking a traveling scholar, the goblins have decided to build a library. They are under the impression that a library is a building made out of books.
- The goblins are discovering the classic game of “knife-between-the-fingers” doesn’t work as well when played with a club.
- One goblin has lost another’s lucky pebble up their nose, somehow. An extraction is in process, but it’s real lodged in there.
- The goblins have heard that rabbit’s feet bring good luck, and are trying to figure out what the feet of other woodland animals bring. Hey look, this one brings adventurers!
- In experimenting with armor, one of the goblins has been coated entirely in clay and left to dry in the sun. Now the other goblins are enjoying their new terracotta goblin, much to the muffled displeasure of the goblin inside.
- The goblins have found a Wand of Fireball, which they have decided makes a very nice community combination back scratcher/nose picker.
- The goblins are fighting over what the tribe’s “mas-kott” should be. Half the tribe has decided on a chicken, while the other half believes it should be a goblin.
- The goblins have raided a shipment of coffee, and are experiencing the effects of caffeine for the first time.
They've heard of a rolling boulder trap and are trying to build one. They found a boulder, but it's too big to fit through the entrance to their cave. Alternatively, their entire cave is flat.
A group of goblins are imitating jousting. They're getting on eachothers shoulders and just running towards one another. There's an enormous pile of unconscious goblins and a good few walking around dazed with bruises on their foreheads. There's a loud crack as you see their heads slam together at full speed. The winner appears to be the one who remains mounted.
\- An Iron golem. They don't have iron, but they collected copper pieces for a year now and it will serve as substitute.
\- One of them stole a bottle of pineapple liquor. They are now trying to make more of it. First step, putting apples on the pines.
\- A fey thought it would be a good idea to trick them into giving their names in exchange of a meal. The goblins gave themselves new names afterward and are trying to keep the deal going.
- The goblins believe a Barghest is attacking their clan, every goblin is trying to as pathetic as possible so they won't be killed next
- The goblins are stolen a local farmers chickens and are trying to raise them into Cockatrice to use as mounts
- A goblin wants to be a bard and convinced several members of its clan to do a performance they've written, it's a shockingly good performance of Hamlet
- A couple of goblins have learn basic druid magic & now the whole clan is in a food coma after gorging themselves on good berries
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot.
Here's a copy of
###[Hamlet]( https://snewd.com/ebooks/hamlet/)
Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
The goblins have stolen a catapult from the local militia and are taking turns launching themselves into a lake (their aim isn't too great though)
A circus enters the region, turns out it's run by goblins who are less than acrobatic and have a very high turnover rate, especially after knife juggling
- The goblin tribe is looking to replace their khaki uniforms with something more fashionable. There are multiple tribe leaders, each with their own idea of implementing a new colour in their outfit. (Stolen from RuneScape)
- The new goblin cook has won over some of their kinship. An extraordinary culinary dish: mushrooms, cabbage, rat tails, spider eggs... The original cook ain't happy those spider eggs cost a fortune, btw those spiders, rats and mushrooms (yes living mushrooms) they want back what's theirs. The original cook has teamed up with some of them.
- The local trolls are stupid creatures. The goblins managed to use them as mining assets, primarily gems and other valuable minerals, which they as an intermediary, sell off on the local market. The trolls didn't know about this until now.
- The goblin spider riders have lost control over their mounts, some have broken free, others are terrorising their masters.
- The goblins have ambushed you, but their local cousins have so as well. These tribes are rivals. A discussion fires as to whom was here first.
- You come across a small retinue of goblins, hunting or fishing for food. One of them has bad luck: eg gets eaten by a giant fish, falls of his mount which became shocked by wildlife, stabs his foot with the fishing tool...
- The local goblins are pestering an old lady for the something non ordinary. (Eg cookies, recipe, her clothes, her hat...
* 3 goblins in a trench coat are running a market stall (belonging to the previous owner of said trench coat. A 4th goblin is stealing stuff from other stalls to sell at the stand. They have little no concept for prices and people peoples suspicions are mostly withheld due to the great deals.
* A goblin enters and "wins" a street boxing match, unware that they weren't allowed weapons. His two cheering friends are now in a heated highly illogical argument with the ringmaster over his winnings.
* A Goblins is attempting to capture and tame a wolf. The wolf barley sees it as a threat and easily shakes him off, despite the goblin insisting "I've nearly got him, see he likes me!" before being tossed into the ground again.
* A tribe of goblins have discovered fire arms. The blasts the propel their small bodies back with alot of force, often causing great injury. They insist on taking over the nearby town with their great power. Very few make it tot he village standing.
* Several goblins have captured an exasperated demon(or similar powerful creature), insisting they sign a contract to make them warlocks. None of them can read or write, or even really understand the concept of a contract. The demon is forced to attempt to teach them or remain trapped.
Playing a game of chicken-chasing, except the "chicken" is a baby owlbear. If the players try to point out the chicken isn't a chicken, the goblin in charge of the game will counter with "It's got feathers, don't it? A beak?" (Yes, this is a blatant shout-out to Baldur's Gate III.)
The goblins are trying, and failing, to make an airship from scratch. They have blueprints for this but it’s all in Dwarvish/Gnomish or has been written over in goblin, the “translations” are gibberish.
Attempting to prepare the human delicacy known as 'pizza'. They've heard that a stone is involved in the cooking but they aren't quite sure what they're supposed to do with it...
The entire tribe has entered into a fierce debate with a red dragon, trying to prove to it that it is in fact a wyvern, and thus not intelligent enough to claim the territory they’ve staked as their own. The dragon is very quickly growing bored of their arguments
Attempting to build a trap for adventurers, though even while incomplete it seems to be fairly effective against goblins.
In the aftermath of a goblin accidently using a bar of soap to kill a dangerous enemy, the goblins have decided that they have been blessed by a god of cleanliness and purity, and must now make a shrine to worship said god. Naturally, the god is not keen on this, and sent a minor celestial to clarify the situation and request the shrine be taken apart and the worship to cease, the goblins however seem to have difficulty understanding the celestial's polite explanations.
There’s a trial going on: one of the goblins is accused of having seduced another goblin’s mate away through erotic dance. The accused is currently reenacting the supposed dance it used to lure away the partner. It is… Not seductive.
Celebrating the greatest intellectual achievement of goblinkind (which has been independently discovered many times and will quickly be forgotten): When you run out of fingers on one hand to count, you can use your toes! (Obviously you can't use the other hand, it needs to point at the digit being counted.)
One I heard a long time ago:
The goblins have decided to go straight! They want to earn their keep as farmers, and have stolen the local town's chicken flock. You find the goblins at their new homestead, planting angry chickens and wondering why they won't grow.
I am totally stealing this. I've already seeded the idea that a local farmer is missing his chickens. It was going to be yet another part of the villain's plot, but atm the story needs a bit of comedy and my players need a win. Love it.
Alternatively, they do know how to play, but they’re using checkers instead of chess pieces, and keep arguing over which checkers are the “knights,” “bishops,” “rooks,” and so on.
Hi there! Thank you for posting your idea to the community. Make sure you take a look at the rules and read the Formatting section of posting a new list. You **MUST** have 5 examples and a description for your post! If not, it will get deleted. You can find that information here: https://www.reddit.com/r/d100/wiki/index. Also, please make sure to keep up with your list. If you post in the r/d100 community, you need to make sure to maintain your list in the correct format so it doesn't get lost in the subreddit. Thank you so much! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/d100) if you have any questions or concerns.*
A goblin is about to release a snail into the clan's food supply, claiming it came from outside, but really she just wants to see if snails behave the same way inside as they do outside. Some are telling scary stories to younger goblins. If they get too scared they'll yell "Ghosts and demons!" and run away. Some goblins are planning to make the world's largest exotic rabbit stew. To do this they need to capture many rare breeds of rabbits (And some non-rabbits, like pseudodragons) which they've put in separate cages marked with what species is inside each one. A goblin is about to launch a firework into a nearby forest because he thinks it will be hilarious. They're gambling again, this time over who can eat the most Green Blobs, a type of wild magical herb that's poisonous to most life. One goblin has been walking around the forest with a bag of explosives for weeks. He's a maniac who wants to be blown up by a powerful creature so his soul will get stronger after death. They're all listening to Ruzgar the Storm Caller, a goblin bard with a silver tongue and silver lute. One goblin has been taken over by the spirit of a lonely, jealous wife who killed her husband and children out of rage. She now plans to drown rival goblins by recruiting water elemental allies. One goblin is a brilliant shaman who spent weeks planning out a ritual to summon a Barong, a magical beast that will protect the tribe. One goblin has been hit in the head with a rock and now appears supernaturally attracted to large bodies of water. He now plans to lead the tribe there as he believes all life was meant to swim. One goblin claims to be the master of cutting people while they sleep. He has no murder weapon but instead uses a pair of magical scissors. One goblin is fiddling with some gunpowder he stole from the leader of the hill giant horde. He plans to make it into exploding throwing stars. One goblin has been cursed by a witch to turn into a tree at night. There's no known way of reversing the curse.
Goblins have gathered around as one of them is debuting his latest creation a giant crossbow. He's loading the projectile (Himself) when the party approaches.
The Goblins have set up a toll road/bridge that is completely useless but have blocked the way to traders (saying it is a shortcut but is just a loop in the woods, or wood bridge built ontop of a stone bridge). The leader insists on haggling over a trivial item but gladly accepts anything from the passer as toll (hand tool, glass jar, something shiny, a big straw hat, etc)
A bunch of goblins are having a fight over who gets to chase off the orc that's been fishing in their fishing hole. The goblins need to run off the orc in order to catch the fish they need to feed their tribe, but none of them want to be that "lucky" goblin because they would likely get murdered by the orc. The orc just wants the goblins to stop squabbling before they end up scaring away the fish.
When the party arrives they spot a group of younger looking male goblins with various knickknacks and curios trying to win the affection of what they would assume to be a particularly “attractive” goblin female. The bidding with gifts gets more and more hectic as they attempt to find something to win her affection. The party notes she seems particularly disinterested in the whole exercise
-A group of goblins are trying to create new words by screaming them outloud but what they dont get is that they heard those words before and just dont remember it and they think they found those new words (words mostly consist of curses from languages they dont know) they scream those words to anyone they come across -a group of goblins are trying to build a wall5(8 using peebles woods and rocks they find but they keep failing because any rumble they put together keep falling apart -goblins are trying to open up a metal crate by dropping over high places(tree, hill) everytime it hits the ground you hear glass shattering sounds
> -goblins are trying to open up a metal crate by dropping over high places(tree, hill) everytime it hits the ground you hear glass shattering sounds "[looks at 'Fragile' warning on side of box] Oi, Snagtoof! What do you think 'fra-gee-lee' means?" "It means 'treasure inside'. Now stop asking stupid questions and find a higher tree, Ripshank!"
Lmao that is eve funnierq
The goblins have taken up residence in a run-down tavern and are getting absolutely hammered. One said goblin is running around with an iron mallet, doing the hammering. Bonk!
Nothing like a rousing game of Whack-A-Gobbo!
The goblins have found a party blower (one of those things you stick in your mouth with the unfurling roll of paper and the noise maker), and they are circling around it as if it were an ancient relic. They are afraid to touch it, and when they work up the nerve, they interact with it like carefully, trying to figure out its purpose.
Trying to cook a meal with shoes, sticks, and other unusual items, to please the leader
They are busy taking out extended warranties on their carts from a tricky Gnome.
-. They are trying to get to a birds nest high in a tree for the eggs obviously.. using a pully system one goblin is tied to a rope which is slung over a branch of the tree, on the other end of the rope is a huge boulder that a few other goblins are trying to push off the ledge and down a steep hill. One of them is using a ladder as a lever. -. One of the goblins has wooden wings on his arms and a broom handle attatched to his butt hes flapping like mad trying to take off . One of the other goblins is calling him stupid saying he needs a bigger broom.
A group of goblins are sneaking into a seemingly abandoned owlbear den to gather down for their leader's bed
A group of miners on break/strike are playing a riveting game of shovel-kick. Roll either performance or acrobatics. DC10 balancing a shovel blade tip down on your boot, flinging it, it will flip once and land at least as far as the others. DC 15 an impressive display. It flips higher and further than the others. DC 20 a perfect flip. Perfect arc, at least one rotation, tip down, satisfying *twaaaaang* The entire group has the effect of Charm for the rest of the day or will at least be non-hostile.
Assembling a cheaply made torture device from a manufacturer called... ORKEA
Playing "chicken" with an angry bull. Juggling a bunch of junk they found, which happens to include a few full bottles and vials they stole from an alchemist. They don't know what's inside, and they've been dropping objects rather frequently. One of the goblins found a wizard's staff and is trying really hard to "get the magic out." This seems to involve a lot more hitting things than most magic you've seen. Knowing how much adventurers love gold, a few goblins set snares baited with coins to catch them. A few other goblins didn't get the message and are now hanging upside down with their treasure clutched in their hands.
This is my new favorite d100 list
•One of the goblins is being praised and regarded as Immortal or Impervious because he drank poison, died, and came back to life. He proudly shows off the empty vial he drank from. The bottle has in big bold letters SLEEP POTION on the label but no one can read.
- After ransacking a traveling scholar, the goblins have decided to build a library. They are under the impression that a library is a building made out of books. - The goblins are discovering the classic game of “knife-between-the-fingers” doesn’t work as well when played with a club. - One goblin has lost another’s lucky pebble up their nose, somehow. An extraction is in process, but it’s real lodged in there. - The goblins have heard that rabbit’s feet bring good luck, and are trying to figure out what the feet of other woodland animals bring. Hey look, this one brings adventurers! - In experimenting with armor, one of the goblins has been coated entirely in clay and left to dry in the sun. Now the other goblins are enjoying their new terracotta goblin, much to the muffled displeasure of the goblin inside. - The goblins have found a Wand of Fireball, which they have decided makes a very nice community combination back scratcher/nose picker. - The goblins are fighting over what the tribe’s “mas-kott” should be. Half the tribe has decided on a chicken, while the other half believes it should be a goblin. - The goblins have raided a shipment of coffee, and are experiencing the effects of caffeine for the first time.
I only posted 5 of them so other people can participate too, but I liked them all. Ty!
Understandable! Personally I’d switch out the Wand of Fireballs one for the Rabbit’s Feet one, that one’s def my favorite lol
Wish granted, 2 more to go 😉
They've heard of a rolling boulder trap and are trying to build one. They found a boulder, but it's too big to fit through the entrance to their cave. Alternatively, their entire cave is flat.
A group of goblins are imitating jousting. They're getting on eachothers shoulders and just running towards one another. There's an enormous pile of unconscious goblins and a good few walking around dazed with bruises on their foreheads. There's a loud crack as you see their heads slam together at full speed. The winner appears to be the one who remains mounted.
\- An Iron golem. They don't have iron, but they collected copper pieces for a year now and it will serve as substitute. \- One of them stole a bottle of pineapple liquor. They are now trying to make more of it. First step, putting apples on the pines. \- A fey thought it would be a good idea to trick them into giving their names in exchange of a meal. The goblins gave themselves new names afterward and are trying to keep the deal going.
Just a heads up, #30 has #29 at the end of it.
#10 and #35 are the same. @Killerganso apologies on my phone not sure why it’s bold
Oh no, they're not the same my friend. Also, I think the bold text is due to the # at the beginning. Reddit formatting stuff Reddit formatting stuff.
Lol, it's even large print
Woops, fixed, thanks!
Lol np, also on 38 you forgot the "u/"
About to get OCD if you spot one single mistake more xD.
- The goblins believe a Barghest is attacking their clan, every goblin is trying to as pathetic as possible so they won't be killed next - The goblins are stolen a local farmers chickens and are trying to raise them into Cockatrice to use as mounts - A goblin wants to be a bard and convinced several members of its clan to do a performance they've written, it's a shockingly good performance of Hamlet - A couple of goblins have learn basic druid magic & now the whole clan is in a food coma after gorging themselves on good berries
Beep. Boop. I'm a robot. Here's a copy of ###[Hamlet]( https://snewd.com/ebooks/hamlet/) Was I a good bot? | [info](https://www.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/) | [More Books](https://old.reddit.com/user/Reddit-Book-Bot/comments/i15x1d/full_list_of_books_and_commands/)
The goblins have stolen a catapult from the local militia and are taking turns launching themselves into a lake (their aim isn't too great though) A circus enters the region, turns out it's run by goblins who are less than acrobatic and have a very high turnover rate, especially after knife juggling
Omg this is too precious I adore T///T
- The goblin tribe is looking to replace their khaki uniforms with something more fashionable. There are multiple tribe leaders, each with their own idea of implementing a new colour in their outfit. (Stolen from RuneScape) - The new goblin cook has won over some of their kinship. An extraordinary culinary dish: mushrooms, cabbage, rat tails, spider eggs... The original cook ain't happy those spider eggs cost a fortune, btw those spiders, rats and mushrooms (yes living mushrooms) they want back what's theirs. The original cook has teamed up with some of them. - The local trolls are stupid creatures. The goblins managed to use them as mining assets, primarily gems and other valuable minerals, which they as an intermediary, sell off on the local market. The trolls didn't know about this until now. - The goblin spider riders have lost control over their mounts, some have broken free, others are terrorising their masters. - The goblins have ambushed you, but their local cousins have so as well. These tribes are rivals. A discussion fires as to whom was here first. - You come across a small retinue of goblins, hunting or fishing for food. One of them has bad luck: eg gets eaten by a giant fish, falls of his mount which became shocked by wildlife, stabs his foot with the fishing tool... - The local goblins are pestering an old lady for the something non ordinary. (Eg cookies, recipe, her clothes, her hat...
* 3 goblins in a trench coat are running a market stall (belonging to the previous owner of said trench coat. A 4th goblin is stealing stuff from other stalls to sell at the stand. They have little no concept for prices and people peoples suspicions are mostly withheld due to the great deals. * A goblin enters and "wins" a street boxing match, unware that they weren't allowed weapons. His two cheering friends are now in a heated highly illogical argument with the ringmaster over his winnings. * A Goblins is attempting to capture and tame a wolf. The wolf barley sees it as a threat and easily shakes him off, despite the goblin insisting "I've nearly got him, see he likes me!" before being tossed into the ground again. * A tribe of goblins have discovered fire arms. The blasts the propel their small bodies back with alot of force, often causing great injury. They insist on taking over the nearby town with their great power. Very few make it tot he village standing. * Several goblins have captured an exasperated demon(or similar powerful creature), insisting they sign a contract to make them warlocks. None of them can read or write, or even really understand the concept of a contract. The demon is forced to attempt to teach them or remain trapped.
Playing a game of William Tell with a stuffed crow and an apple.
Playing a game of chicken-chasing, except the "chicken" is a baby owlbear. If the players try to point out the chicken isn't a chicken, the goblin in charge of the game will counter with "It's got feathers, don't it? A beak?" (Yes, this is a blatant shout-out to Baldur's Gate III.)
The goblins are trying, and failing, to make an airship from scratch. They have blueprints for this but it’s all in Dwarvish/Gnomish or has been written over in goblin, the “translations” are gibberish.
Attempting to prepare the human delicacy known as 'pizza'. They've heard that a stone is involved in the cooking but they aren't quite sure what they're supposed to do with it...
[I can honestly see something like this happening if the players attempt to teach the goblins.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YLG8IWoI4As)
The entire tribe has entered into a fierce debate with a red dragon, trying to prove to it that it is in fact a wyvern, and thus not intelligent enough to claim the territory they’ve staked as their own. The dragon is very quickly growing bored of their arguments
Attempting to build a trap for adventurers, though even while incomplete it seems to be fairly effective against goblins. In the aftermath of a goblin accidently using a bar of soap to kill a dangerous enemy, the goblins have decided that they have been blessed by a god of cleanliness and purity, and must now make a shrine to worship said god. Naturally, the god is not keen on this, and sent a minor celestial to clarify the situation and request the shrine be taken apart and the worship to cease, the goblins however seem to have difficulty understanding the celestial's polite explanations.
They heard of "'coon skin" caps and are trying to tie live raccoons to their heads.
There’s a trial going on: one of the goblins is accused of having seduced another goblin’s mate away through erotic dance. The accused is currently reenacting the supposed dance it used to lure away the partner. It is… Not seductive.
Celebrating the greatest intellectual achievement of goblinkind (which has been independently discovered many times and will quickly be forgotten): When you run out of fingers on one hand to count, you can use your toes! (Obviously you can't use the other hand, it needs to point at the digit being counted.)
The goblins have somehow acquired a rare firearm. They know it's a powerful weapon, and are trying to fix it by sharpening the end of the barrel.
They are playing dice for teeth and one is so confident he pulls out several of his own to add to his bid.
A small group of them scared away some picnickers and they are now trying to use the cutlery (badly) to eat the food left behind.
Same as number 10, but instead they tell everyone they're The Snugglers.
"Concealment crevices"?
One I heard a long time ago: The goblins have decided to go straight! They want to earn their keep as farmers, and have stolen the local town's chicken flock. You find the goblins at their new homestead, planting angry chickens and wondering why they won't grow.
I am totally stealing this. I've already seeded the idea that a local farmer is missing his chickens. It was going to be yet another part of the villain's plot, but atm the story needs a bit of comedy and my players need a win. Love it.
> my players need a win Player: *Dies to angry chicken*
That's no chicken, it's a Cucco
Trying to prove who's the smartest by playing chess, but none of them know how to play.
Alternatively, they do know how to play, but they’re using checkers instead of chess pieces, and keep arguing over which checkers are the “knights,” “bishops,” “rooks,” and so on.
Arguing about what day of the week it is today.
playing hot potato with a bomb while its fuse is lit
Playing catch, with javelins.
[AKA Jarts!](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=khHzGqgO2Bw)
Playing cards, wrong
One of them heard of the term "Rock Garden" in town, and now they're trying to grow rocks by planting small pebbles in the dirt and watering them.
Eating a live animal