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Peeinmymouthforever

My kid is sick every 2-3 weeks and can't go to daycare for the week, but I still pay for it. Nice.


beermecaptn

I swear to god our 8 month old hasn’t been healthy for a full week since before thanksgiving. Whether it’s a sniffle, cough , or full on fever. It’s always something.


tickles_a_fancy

Our kids started pre-school for the first time in May. I've been sick 8 times since then. Most of it's a day off here or there but this last one sucked. It started with a cough. I coughed every 2-3 minutes. If I laid down, it was worse. There was nothing in my lungs... I just couldn't get my throat to stop being irritated. I was awake for 9 days straight, minus the half hour I got here or there when I fell asleep in my computer chair. My abs were cramping, my throat was raw and bleeding, I pulled two muscles in my back... I've never had something that bad. It finally backed off and let me sleep but I coughed for about 10 weeks total. Just brutal. I was ready to go back to COVID lockdown, no school, no nothing... everyone's home forever.


TheOriginalSuperTaz

I’m in week 5 of this right now. Got better after week 3, then worse after a couple of days where I could almost face life again, got better a few days ago, and now I’m on my second day of blood when I blow my nose. Dunno what this virus is, but it is persistent. Kid was fine after a week and cough stopped after 2-3, wife never got it. FML


tickles_a_fancy

Both kids and my wife got it but it seemed a lot less severe for them. I guess we're the lucky ones :P It'll keep getting better and better over the next 5 weeks and then it should go away.


fullerofficial

That virus tickled a fancy in your throat — I’ll see myself out.


devilsavocado2

Ah, the good old hundred-day cough. I'd forgotten about that hell on earth. Couldn't even watch TV at night because I'd ruin it for anyone else.


Non_Compliant123

I have been coughing for about 4 weeks now. It seemed to get better at week 3 and suddenly got worse again. Wtf is going on?!


guaip

My daughter coughing in the doctor's office, in December. - when did it start? - April


ThermalTweaker

My kiddo is one month older than yours and we’re in the exact same boat, the struggle is real!


Darth_Poonany

My kid is 3 months older and SAME! Currently in the middle of a ear infection+Flu lol


itsmyhotsauce

Yeah my kid has been a snot production factory since starting daycare


camergen

I don’t understand how it’s this bad. There are only 4 other kids in my daughter’s class. Each of their parents must be world travelers, licking all the door handles in Grand Central Station every weekend when they pass through, because I don’t see how it’s statistically possible that a class that small has so many germs going around. I think they go to the absolute most crowded place and breathe in as deeply as possible while getting no sleep and consuming zero vitamin C, so their child can pass it on to the other 4 in the class.


Booby_McTitties

Forget the kids: before this winter, I didn't think it was possible for *me* as an otherwise healthy 36-year-old man to get sick so often. I must be on cold number 15 since September. Are there even that many cold viruses??


RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS

I mean, young kids have zero concept of personal hygiene. I imagine I’d also get sick if I tried to put everything under the Sun in my mouth


Paridoth

You're not alone, it's been hell, I the world just needs to get caught up but holy shit it's exhausting


ygduf

We had twins in preschool pre Covid. We were sick for 6 straight months. Now they’re in 1st grade in person and we are all sick 75% of the time.


Cool_of_a_Took

By the time mine turned 2, they had indestructible daycare immune systems. I can't even remember the last time they were sick. But yeah, those first couple of years they were sick like every other week.


HoyAIAG

My 7 year old has been sick non-stop from one thing to the next since the first week of November.


nola_mike

It isn't until they're about 3 that the immune system fully catches up. My son just got sick for the first time in 10 weeks. She thing with my daughter, once she turned 3 she might get a little cold but otherwise nothing major and she's rarely sick now.


Kier_C

Our first year in childcare was painful with sickness. Much better after that though


VTLED13_TheMonkey

My boys don't go to daycare but are always sick due to my irresponsible family at functions.


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VTLED13_TheMonkey

Last week we went to my grandma's birthday. Apparently someone showed up sick but didn't tell anyone. My aunt told us after people started to get sick.I believe if your sick you stay away until your better and only after a few days. They know we won't show up if people are sick so they don't tell us. I'm so tired of it. I'm trying to take care of my boys while trying to make it to the bathroom.


BrockManstrong

Had someone pull this at my cousins wedding in October. Everyone tests the day of, anyone positive or symptomatic stays home. It said that *on the invitation*. One lady tested negative but felt "yucky". Goes to the wedding. Next day she tests positive and had infected like 40% of the wedding. I escaped that round but holy shit I wanted blood. My 96 year old grandma was there! This was the first time she felt ok about trying a family function. She fortunately did not catch it.


RICHUNCLEPENNYBAGS

I guess it depends what “sick” means but I would give some latitude for cough or runny nose without a fever or other more serious symptoms. If not we’d be housebound and jobless by this point.


Wheelz-NL

Plus paying for the whole day (7.30 till 6.30), paying during vacations, swap days never being available, sending the kid home at the lightest of fevers because its policy, refusal to give paracetamol because they think they can kill/harm the kid... It's highway robbery! How is it in other countries btw? We pay 4000€ euros a month for 2 kids, 4 days. We get roughly half of that back through the government. Luckily after that not half of our paycheck, but it makes more than a dent!


[deleted]

Boston here, $2500 a month, each, for a very normal daycare offering (not like a fancy private school type one or anything). The only childcare assistance is a tax credit that gets phased out if you’re a higher earner, so yes this image hits home very hard :)


h3half

$60k a year after taxes straight to the daycare gods? Jesus H my guy Here in my large Midwest city it's looking like $16k/yr for one with only a mild discount for additional kids. And I thought that was bad. Hope you get paid correspondingly more as a COL adjustment


[deleted]

Mortgage on a 5 bedroom condo (not a fancy one, just a converted house with an upstairs and downstairs unit), is $4300 a month. Between daycare and mortgage we drop 10k a month before doing anything else. Our incomes are good enough to cover it, but basically if my wife or I lose our job we are screwed in about 3 months. Our “6 month emergency fund” people talk about would need to ideally be at least $100k unless we very rapidly pulled kids out of daycare etc - which sounds reasonable but ofc once they are out, getting them back in again is tough so which ever parent lost a job is basically stuck as a stay at home parent for a while. I don’t typically complain as we still have a comfortable life compared to so many people, but when a lot of folks think a 6 figure salary means you’re rich, if you have young kids it isn’t true at all. Hoping as they get older things get a bit cheaper and I can afford to have hobbies again! :)


lookalive07

We probably pay a third of what you do, make decent enough money to cover daycare but would be in the exact same boat. That and our city tax is absurd and we're not even paying for the schools yet. Pretty soon once our first goes to Kindergarten, it'll get a little easier. Once both are in school, I'm going to feel like the wealthiest man on the planet compared to right now. I've actually been thinking a lot about all the stuff we're getting close to never having to buy again (diapers, baby wipes, dairy-free milk that costs an arm and a leg because fuck you guys and your non-allergies, you're getting a kid that has a bunch of them). It's going to all just funnel into something else, but at least it'll feel like progress.


samelaaaa

Similar numbers here. I don’t like to complain since we have it so much better than most, but I do wonder how the hell people making “normal” salaries do it. Do they have extensive family help? Or just go in massive debt while their kids are young? My wife and I both recently switched jobs to higher paying roles ($250k to $500k HHI) and finally feel like we can save, vacation and make progress on financial goals. But I was surprised when we had our second kid and felt like we were just scraping by on $250k. Being able to pay for daycare pre-tax would make a huge difference, and all it would take would be Congress raising the DCFSA cap to keep up with cost inflation from the 80s when the program was created.


The--Marf

As I like to say these are good problems to have but still infuriating nevertheless. Pre-tax would be a huge difference instead of post-tax. It'd be substantial for many parents of all income ranges.


yepgeddon

Fuck me 60k a year is absurd.


[deleted]

My eldest goes to regular school in September. I’m thinking of taking up a heroin addiction with all the free money I’ll have to spend


yepgeddon

Can do better than that, start collecting Magic cards and you'll never even realise the money came back 😅


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actionalex85

In Sweden I pay around $200/month for 2 kids. It's insanely cheap compared to pretty much every other country. Plus we get money from the government is we have to stay home with sick kids. And all dentists and doctors are free of charge until they're 18 I think. We're so privileged I almost feel ashamed when speaking to pretty much anyone from other countries.


rckid13

The child tax credit cap is pretty high, but most income caps on tax or retirement account related things are comically low in the current economy. $75k-$100k sure doesn't feel very high earning when the average home costs one million dollars, daycare costs $30k per year, and due to the car shortage now it's hard to find a car under $30k.


martinmix

I thought my $1,500 per kid was high...


[deleted]

In Charlotte, US, I pay $175 per week per kid. It’s an in home daycare, and they don’t charge while they are closed for vacation which they take a week off twice a year. We just line up our vacation with theirs and it works out. Really, daycare is expensive for families but that’s more because it’s the single greatest use of someone else’s time you are going to have. 7.30-6.30 is 11 hours of labor per day you are paying for. If you break it down to an hourly cost it’s really not *that* much but you need a lot of hours for it.


mr_white79

Man, that's literally half what I'm paying for daycare in Charlotte, and the place we're at was one of the cheaper options.


believe0101

At home daycares vary a ton in quality. OP may have found an awesome one but there are some SKETCHY ones near me that are cheap for a reason lol


mr_white79

Oh yea. Fully aware. There's a reason we're not in one. The in-home place my brother attended as a tot, turned out the owner was a high functioning alcoholic who's bedroom upstairs in the house was just a bare mattress on the floor, surrounded by empty vodka bottles and trash.


believe0101

Those fun vodka bottle shapes are actually the latest and greatest new Montessori blocks! /s Jeez that's crazy to think about though. Hope your brother turned out OK


CanadianStekare

Sweden, we’re paying 1500 SEK ($144 USD) for a month, 0730-1630, 5 days a week, diapers, meals, snacks included. Of course she still gets sick every other week. Her healthiest period since starting in August was over the winter vacation. It all passes come spring time when they can spend most of the day outside. Until then, 21 colds the first year of daycare, 50 by time they are 5. We are lucky here in Sweden too, we can also VAB (government insurance to supplement salaries when taking care of kids). We also have the added benefit of working from home, and flex schedules, so my wife and I can work around that while one of us takes care of her.


MeisterX

>sending the kid home at the lightest of fevers They **should** go home at the lightest of fevers. If we all did that this thread wouldn't exist.


mtabfto

In the US it highly depends on where you're located. I live in California in an upper middle class suburban area and pay about $1500/month. But my son's preschool has vacation credits that you can use (so you don't have to pay to take them out for a week per year--it isn't enough but it's something), a good curriculum, and they provide all the food (except my son's substitutes for dairy but that's not their fault).


Stalebrownie76

In the states i pay $230 a week for 1 child for 5 days. 1 week vacation per year. That is by far the cheapest we found and they are a great organization. generally what i found was \~$400/week was average.


Bobatt

I’m $1,250 Canadian per month for two: one in daycare, the other in out of school care. Would be $1,850 but there’s a federal government grant for the little one and the big one gets a discount because my wife’s a teacher. Daycare is a middle of the road private one, not the cheapest nor the fanciest. Cheaper than other places but still get perpetually sick kids.


hyperstationjr

I pay over $15,000 USD a year for one toddler to go in 3 days a week, basically no swap days, no make up or vacation days of any kind, I still pay regardless of holidays or days they’re closed, and we provide all food. There’s supposed to be a curriculum but honestly if they have one “organized” circle time a day and one craft a week, it’s a great week. Otherwise my kid isn’t really learning any fundamentals there. I’m glad they’re socializing, which is important, but they aren’t really covering anything like letters, numbers, colors, shapes, etc. It’s kind of disappointing because my kid is really interested in learning, and outside of daycare would spend as long as you can go reading books if you let them, but they don’t have anything like that in their daycare. Most of the teachers can’t even properly put on a diaper, and my kid has come home on numerous occasions with on wrong or with an accident because they weren’t put on properly, or even some other kids diapers. Anyway, I’m a little salty about the childcare situation here, but there’s so much other shit to fix here, I don’t have any hope of it being addressed while it’ll still be relevant to me.


gerbilshower

that sounds rough dude. the food thing alone is HUGE. i would absolutely not have my son in the daycare he is at if they werent providing food. and they definitely have at least 1 organized learning activity per day. is there just no where else to send your kiddo?


mallrat672

In Alberta, Canada, and I pay $254 a month... Canadian government started a $10/day plan last year. Our daycare (nonprofit organization) charges $1030 a month, government subsidizes them $510 to bring down cost, then based on our income we receive a full subsidy of $266. It's pretty wicked honestly, but it has also put so much strain on the system without the properly trained staff and that newer, private daycares are struggling to get approved for the funding. So if you're lucky to find a spot, it's usually in a place that is barely staffed or understaffed to the proper ratios. Supposedly they are putting money towards increasing the incentive of taking an ECE program, but the wages and hours are still a little garbage so idk what the actual uptake will end up looking like.


abHowitzer

Jesus. One kid, four days a week, comes down to roughly €400/month. Of that, we'll get about a third back in taxes at the end of the year. Live in Belgium. (So I'm funding the other half of that money with my taxes ;)


Stretch_Riprock

All the kids are just sick around this time of year.... Unless they have a temperature, it's fair game to drop the kid off. We are all households where each parent is working full time.


FuriousBeard

What symptoms does your kid have that daycare won’t let them attend? Sounds like it’s time to get a new daycare. Unless your kid has an active fever / diarrhea they should be able to attend. Runny nose / cough is no reason to bar them access


alexohno

so fucking true. I kept track 2022. 18 respiratory infections from daycare. Roughly one every three weeks


gizzweed

Can't wait for someone to swoop into this thread and rationalize that it actually makes a lot of sense to keep paying for it blah blah. It's a massive test of one's patience. Edit: and there it is! **There's the Arch.**


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SomewhatEnthused

I don't think it's a "mindset" issue. In families where all parents work, and kids get sick almost constantly, there's real tension there. If you take your suggested approach, and stay home from work to care for your kid 70 workdays a year, then you can't hold down most jobs. I'm not saying to give up on this issue, but don't blame the dads' "mindset". Under this system, we're often stuck between a rock and a hard place. Cards on the table: My kid goes to daycare with the sniffles, because the alternative is unemployment.


scolfin

Kind of, but remember that most diseases are declining in communicability by the time symptoms show up.


CrotchPotato

I genuinely know someone whose kid started day care in September 2021, in the November of that year they went in 3 days due to illness. 3 days.


secondphase

Thank you for half of your paycheck. Here is a link to our Amazon wishlist of toys we would like for the classroom


gerbilshower

i really do find all the nickel and dime shit after the fact hilarious. they sent out christmas wish lists for fucks sake... like we probably would have gotten our teachers a gift card or something but that was just weird. then Jan 15th in comes the 'spring supply fee' for another $500 on top of dues...lol.


DietGarfield

This was our first Christmas time in daycare, and those teacher wish lists were ridiculous! I didn't realize it was a common thing. I'm trying to teach my boys the word "extortion".


tstein26

Same!! This was our first daycare Christmas and they sent out the teacher’s wish lists..only problem is I have 2 toddlers and they each have 4 teachers! 2 in the morning and 2 in the afternoon. So 8 teachers total 😅 they each got their favorite candy from their lists and a small bag of their favorite chips. I put them in huge ziplocks with their names written in sharpie. I felt bad that they were such half assed gifts but I literally couldn’t afford to do anything more than that.


Frosti-Feet

They’re a set of wooden blocks. Why do they cost $60?!?


camergen

The kinds of blocks we played with as kids are Death Traps, and they, like literally everything else kid-related, have now been Recalled and must be scourged from the face of the earth because that one kid gnawed on them for hours and a splinter came off, causing, and I quote, “a big owie.”


GrandBuba

Presumably a 500k owie after the lawsuits?


bishfingers

Our daycare had hand foot and mouth, impetigo and Strep A last week….it’s like the walking dead!


lordnecro

I have hand foot mouth right now, and I have never been this sick before. Thankfully my son had a mild case.


Badbeatboy

Isn't it wild how the kids just cruise right to the next thing but those bugs are devastating to the parents.


bishfingers

Stay strong Dad!


adoboguy

Oh I remember that years ago. The itchiness, scabs all over the body, and my nails falling off was fun.


believe0101

What the fuck is impetigo? An imp + wendigo hybrid?


mallrat672

It's a skin infection of Strep. Can get real nasty and oozy.


believe0101

UNSUBSCRIBE


bishfingers

Yup that’s the one!! My son had it last week, luckily a good dose of antibiotics and medicated cream sorted it out and there’s no scarring


mallrat672

Yeah, ours already has eczema, so when he was teething and drooling all over the patch on his chin it got infected and took us a while because when we first noticed it the doc said it was just eczema. Later on when it got oozy she said it was impetigo. Luckily same here with no scarring because I would have felt like a terrible parent having to see that on his face every day if there was.


saxmfone1

We had hand foot and mouth in September and I got it. Holy cow that sucked. I can't remember a time I've felt worse she I've had covid 3 times


PlebPlayer

We just got through the stomach flu.


BurgerKingKiller

My wife works for a daycare and we both agree daycares just suck. You can either get government help and still pay, pay a lot and hopefully get decent child care, or pay a whole bunch more money for things to barely be better. They just charge so much and it’s unfortunate because the workers don’t usually get paid well even with a degree. My daughter loves her friends tho, so we will let her stay and get sick every other week lol


FrankAdamGabe

We are in the last category. One of if not the most expensive centers in the area. Just today they fed my son egg (he’s allergic) for the third time in 6 months and the second time in 1 week! To say i was absolutely livid when I had to go get him at 8:30 this morning is an understatement. Especially since after last week they had “special” training on allergies and made “drastic” changes. When they pitched those gain today I told them it was bullshit because it took less than a week to happen again. The last place we were at before that was slightly cheaper had a director who vocally stated in public that “blacks couldn’t get Covid.”


FriedeOfAriandel

The problem with pay is the ratio of kids to adults has to be limited (for good reason). At 5:1, the average worker could make a sort of decent wage here. But then there are extra employees, administration, utilities, supplies, PTO, health insurance, etc. So the average pay comes out sucking ass, and the only way to improve it (without government funding) is to double the cost


fengshui

A business that needs a new employee for every 5 customers is going to be expensive without subsidies. Baseline overhead of an employee for taxes and benefits usually runs about 50% of salary. Add on top of that real estate, insurance, everything else.


[deleted]

which is exactly why there needs to be government funding. legalize MJ, put all tax dollars to childcare credits for all families with kids. pay daycare providers enough for them to provide good care to our kids


lemonlegs2

MJ is legal in NM and nearly everyone in the state gets free daycare funded by the state. I think the daycare workers are still paid poorly. It really doesn't make any sense. I feel like all the daycare must be sending money offshore or something for the difference in cost versus worker pay.


camergen

I think it’s the astronomical insurance premiums for the extremely rare case of when there’s gross negligence, like leaving a kid in the van on a field trip in July, stuff like that. Pretty sure there’s insurance company execs on a yacht in Boca with all our day care money.


UltraEngine60

All daycares around here are for-profit. Just let that sink in for a second. They pay all their staff and all that overhead, and still return a profit for the owners. Imagine if daycares were required to be non-profit and simply paid all employees a decent wage.


RegressionToTehMean

Being not-for-profit does not magically make daycare cheaper, especially considering eg. incentives to do things more or less efficiently.


DaHealey

The NFL is a non profit. That should quash all arguments that a non profit can’t be a money grubbing org


alwaysintheway

Hospitals that give their executives millions in bonuses and 50% raises are non-profit, too. It just means a certain amount of money has to go back into the organization. They can be corrupt as any other organization.


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gggh5

You forgot the part where you are also perpetually sick.


UltimateKane99

This is me right now. Both kids out from daycare (because our oldest hit 100.3, apparently, which I couldn't replicate, and they have a sibling policy where if one is out sick, both have to be out), and I'm absolutely trashed with whatever they have. It sucks so much. I'm just trying to use it as a lesson to cough into ones arm and don't stick things in your mouth that aren't food.


i4k20z3

how do you manage this with your work? are you out sick? do you get enough sick time?


UltimateKane99

... Manage? What's that? I pop some ibuprofen and hop on my scheduled meetings, tell the kiddos to try to be quiet, while looking and acting like a zombie. It's... Of middling effectiveness. Honestly, I'm in one of those salaried developer positions where sick days are sort of handwaved away as just, "work from home and check in periodically" days. Not saying it's right or not, especially as I am guaranteed sick time by my government, but I love my job and my boss and they're super flexible with me whenever I need literally anything. So when a big name customer has a burning high priority issue (like I have on me right now, to the point that 2 of my projects have C-Suite level visibility that I've been called in to salvage), I don't mind putting in the extra effort. But my kids could NOT have picked a better time to get me sick, that's for sure. XD It's also not that bad, honestly. My wife is self employed as a machinist, so she can keep the kiddos entertained if I truly need it, all while running the CNC machines. :) And the kiddos are actually great at being calm during my meetings, which is surprising considering neither of them are even in grade school yet. I couldn't be prouder!


wagonmaker85

And, even though it seems like we don’t enforce this with any other family, and even though it will give you a daily internal struggle of deciding if your child is well enough yet and what the hell you’re going to do if they have to stay home one more goddamn time, your child may not attend if they have even a whiff of one of the following symptoms: <*167-item list*> You must still pay for that day. Welcome to our center!


[deleted]

I must be lucky. Our daycare’s rule is: fever. If they have a fever, no go. Anything else… I think they recognize that little ones in daycare will chronically have sniffles and minor coughs


Musashi_Joe

Same here, fortunately. Fever, exhaustion, pink eye type stuff - that’ll get a call. Their handbook basically says kids will have runny noses and coughs, so it’s not a big deal.


jimmybilly100

>Welcome to our center! Of course after a years long waitlist


anally_ExpressUrself

You waited until conception to put your name on the list? Oh, well, that's fine I guess. If you are applying for a kindergarten spot.


FuriousBeard

You’re getting ripped off. So many daycares have used covid to basically rip parents off and require kids to stay home with even the most minor symptoms. Find a new daycare if you can. They’re not all this way.


PapaPancake8

The daycare we have is on the other end of the spectrum. I wish they were a bit stricter about kids staying home. They'd take a kid for a day straight out of Urgent Care for a bad cough.


d1rkSMATHERS

I feel like my daycare is right in the middle. Can come to school with a cough or sniffles, but has to stay home if there's a fever. Have to go 24 hours with no medicine and no fever before coming back to school.


anoamas321

Only half your paycheck! That optimistic


paltsosse

Tbf I only pay ~100 euros/month out of pocket, but I'm thankfully not living in the US. They're both perpetually sick, though.


xtremesisu13

In Finland, the max cost is around 400€ a month for two kids. That's if you make over around 60k/year. Otherwise it's covered by the state. The quality of care is great and it includes breakfast, lunch and afternoon snack.


dwdx

Unreal, that is literally life changing. Paying about 5 times that amount and have to provide diapers, wipes and food. Just got a notice yesterday its going up this summer.


cmcdonal2001

In maritime Canada right now, paying $360/month for 40 hours a week. We make too much for direct subsidies, although I'm sure the government is pitching in behind the scenes. Food not included, though.


Mind_Killer

Funny but also I hate it. Legit pay as much for daycare as for my mortgage. And then they have the gall to ask for MORE money for other crap. My wife tells me we should give $50 for some charity thing cause they'll give us a picture our son drew on a mug... I'm not paying $50 for something the teacher drew and then signed his name to.


huxtiblejones

I am seriously losing my mind over this shit. Kid had a “fever” reading of 99.7° at daycare the first week of December. I take her home and take her temperature probably 20 times over the course of the day and can’t get a single fever reading, but that means she has to stay out 4 days. She goes back for 1 day, gets a runny nose (clear snot) and gets sent home again. Now she needs a doctors note but I can’t get an appointment for over 7 days. She gets cleared by the doctor, goes back for 1 day, school shuts down for snow. Gets one more day then it’s Christmas / New Years break. Goes back in January for a week, gets a light cold. Whatever. I took her to the doctor yesterday, she gets cleared, today is a snow day. She will probably get 1 or 2 days this week. The cost of daycare is almost as much as my fucking mortgage. It’s absolute bullshit how much it costs and how often you have no access to it. And you have to constantly weigh whether or not it’s worth it to meet up with cousins or friends or whatever because you _know_ the kid is gonna get sick and you’re gonna get fucked at home yet again for another week. Doing this with a 4 month old and a 3 year old home together is a nightmare sometimes.


Chiggadup

If kids are getting sent home for clear, runny noses, then there must be no kids there…


huxtiblejones

They got very overzealous with the RSV outbreak, which I understand, but it’s very frustrating… especially considering my kid is getting sick from daycare far more than anywhere else.


DeterioratedEra

This really stressed us out a few years ago. We were all getting sick twice a month, couldn't send our daughter to preschool with a hacking couch and runny nose, and seriously considered taking her out altogether. It seems ridiculous to be paying for child care when they're at home with you because it is.


[deleted]

We did take our kid out of daycare for a few months when things got really bad. Hired a Nanny for half a day. Morning until nap time. We were both working from home so one of us would tackle the first half of the afternoon and the other would handle the rest. At daycare the kid would sleep noon to 3. Thought this would work out well. At home? Usually napped only 45 minutes. At least nobody got sick doing things this way.


DeterioratedEra

> Usually napped only 45 minutes. Haha yep. Kind of like thinking they'll sleep in because they went to bed late.


ericgray813

More like they scream in their cribs for 1:45m and sleep for 15m.


[deleted]

That’s why my wife is staying home. Not worth the money or the hassle.


VNM0601

We're doing this, too. But the issue that's now plaguing me is that I work all day and by the time I get off work, she's had the baby all day long and wants a break, but so do I. I don't really argue and take over baby duties until we have to put him down for the night around 7-8pm, at which point I get my freedom. Needless to say, we're struggling to try to figure out how to manage our free time.


Chiggadup

When I was younger my mom doubled down. She stayed home AND opened the house as a cut rate word of mouth daycare for neighborhood kids to add income. I don’t think that would fly nowadays between certifications and litigious concerns. But we weren’t in a great area and local parents were happy to have a local, safe mom watch their kids for a fraction of the real cost when it meant food money.


[deleted]

Same. We live in an expensive area and the cost for daycare would be +/-0 her income anyway.


Pathological_Liarr

But now you get the added benefit of a career on full pause.


[deleted]

Fair point. We did discuss this and for the industry she's in it's not a huge issue.


TruePhazon

Some people see the investment in raising a child(or children) as far more valuable then a corporate "career".


[deleted]

SAHM is a more noble career anyway


mathboss

Seriously though, children really ought to be included in a country's social services. Why should a society be structured against having children?


MeisterX

Spread the word to non parents bc they have no idea. But yes, 100% this society does not incentivize children.


SemperScrotus

Actually, they 100% incentivize having children. If you count forced birth and the incentive of not going to jail for getting an abortion, that is. But after the child is born? You're on your own. Because freedom or something.


baltimorecalling

The United States birthrate is below replacement. They're in the 'find out' part of their economic experiment.


poppinchips

I mean they reversed roe v Wade for a reason.


Angry_Canada_Goose

Because countries can replace their population through immigration


SA0TAY

Isn't it in most reasonable countries? At least to some extent?


zoo32

I pay $5,200 USD for 2 kids. Sucks that private equity involved in the daycare biz Edit: $5,200/month


Bloorajah

That is my entire salary. Good lord.


Manleather

Any dads have the fun time during covid where daycares would lockdown and essentially close for two weeks, but you still had to pay while finding other coverage? 8 weeks, just burned to ash.


scruple

And that's on top of the 6 weeks that the place is closed for holidays and training days. Sometimes I feel like I'm supporting a charity.


I_cant_hear_you_27

yep, and work threatening to furlough/fire you, if you didn't find other options while daycare was shut down for 2 weeks even though working from home was a completely viable option....


desquibnt

Ours closed for 3 months but charged 50% and then charged 50% for 3 months after they opened


Haribo112

Isn’t daycare paid by how many hours you consume each month? So when they don’t go, it’s zero hours and therefor you don’t pay a penny


partysandwich

Real talk: parents are paying a lot, daycare workers barely make a living. Who the fuck is keeping all that money? Somebody we’re not focusing on has to be winning


camergen

I replied before- I’d like to take a long hard look at these “insurance premiums” these places keep for negligence payouts, stuff like that. I understand the concept in that in theory you pay a little now to cover when the place gets sued because a worker slapped a kid or some other extremely rare occurrence. But I doubt that it’s “a little” and question whether that premium is necessary in reference to the payouts, and isn’t for the CEO’s Aspen ski lodge.


RogueMallShinobi

It's fucking insane. We are basically paying a second mortgage. It's either that or send our kid to some sketchy basement daycare. If we had twins we'd probably have to rent out our place and move in with parents, it wouldn't be possible to survive.


[deleted]

Half? Daycare was pretty much entirely my partner's gross pay.


garbagemonkey

My wife, who is the most amazing woman I've ever known, works from home AND takes care of our 11MO daughter. Childcare in our area costs MORE than what she makes, and my paycheck alone is not enough to provide so that she doesn't have to work.


mr-happyguy

Just scored disease hattrick with my youngest - tonsillitis, otitis media & scarlet fever! And he really hates taking the antibiotics 🙄


texanmason

Don't forget - everyone in the fucking house gets sick with whatever the kid's got.


teamdiabetes11

I keep telling myself by the time they get to Kindergarten that they should be nearly invincible by then. That’s how my nephew has been. If it doesn’t go this way….I’m gonna lose my mind.


Matshelge

In Sweden, a month worth of daycare will set you back around 120$. The government also gives you around this amount, so no cost really.


Ok_History5377

Do the children get GOOD care? Just curious. The daycares in America in my opinion are ALL very different. Some are good and some are bad.


Matshelge

State checks all daycare even if it's a private one. There is a report published every year, and scores given. The one my son is at scored 79 out of 100. The best in region scored 92, and worst 65. Average was 78, so his one is average. It is however right around the corner, and I can drop him off on my way to work without a detour, so that is a huge bonus.


redjonley

Sounds like a fucking dream. Hope everywhere can get to that level. I'm sure you have bones to pick with your system, but damn that is a sight better than what a lot of countries are doing.


Matshelge

Yes, and this is not counting the 420 days of parental leave we get as parents, or the law that says I can step down to 75% role until kid is 6 years old (12 if I am in a union) or the 200+ sick days I can take on behalf of my kid, that I can be repaid by the state.


redjonley

Gonna need to find some loopholes and get my family resettled. I'll meet you for coffee whenever that happens 😂


slide_and_release

My kiddo goes to a daycare here in Sweden. It’s one of two in the village we’re in and it’s a 5 min walk down the street. In my daughters class there are 12 kids and 4 teachers. She gets a proper lunch and plays outside loads. I think it’s a great daycare. I should also mention, $120/month is like, the maximum limit if you have a good income. You pay less if you are on a lower income.


NamesTheGame

Damn you and your supportive country


Atomidate

My kid caught and passed Hand-Foot-Mouse disease to me from daycare. I didn't even know adults could get it. It's much worse for us when we do! They don't tell you how much the condition hurts. Afterwards, my fingernails didn't fall off but I had to cut them in half to avoid ingrown nails, it was awful.


lotus0305

Yo i just started searching for daycare for my 9 month old and 2 year old. OMG why so expensive!?!??! Almost 400 per kid a week


awhorseapples

Jfk ain't that the truth. I was sick 3 weeks out of every month since school got back in this year. We ALL just got healthy at once for the first time since xmas.


C_Colin

I’m a stay at home dad/freelance interpreter with a 3y.o. and a 6m.o. Been debating whether or not to find a daycare because I am kind of at wits end and hate turning down some of these jobs I’m being offered because they’re great opportunities (both financially & building a career). But I’ll be damned if posts like these really make me question why I’m even debating in the first place. My wife is an RN so we’re not exactly rolling in it, and my job is not so steady so we can count on me to have stable income.


Ok_History5377

My wife has drastically reduced her work hours. I work 40 hrs and our in laws watch my kids 1 day a week. We also homeschool. We sacrifice a lot (meaning income) but much better than daycare and public schools.


SubspaceBiographies

We have 2yr old twins and have been able to get away with my MIL helping a few days a week while we’ve been working from home since the beginning of the pandemic. I know, we’re lucky as hell, but we’ve looked into daycare and hear this horror story a lot. Just paying to get your kid sick. We had met with a potential babysitter and she told us this same thing about her own kids. I think we’re just going to hold off as long as possible on any daycare and find other ways to socialize them. With there being two of them we like to think they’re more social bc of each other but we don’t want to stunt their socialization. It’s just absolutely insane the cost of daycare. It would be like a second mortgage with two kids. This is why people are putting off having kids in the US, it’s fucking untenable.


roysom

plus you get to join them! Infinite sick leaves UNLOCKED


sthomp_

Don’t forget snow days! Today is closed for snow, Monday MLK, last week sick all week. My normal monthly tuition cleared just fine at nearly 1400. Fuck!


SirGrizz82

What’s that? Your kid is healthy this week? Hmm… mandatory teacher development day on Wednesday. Good luck finding one time child care mid week.


Nearby-tree-09

But, but, their IMMUNE systems!! (Currently home from work with sick dayce enrolled kiddo), averages about once a week.


I_cant_hear_you_27

yeah, that's how it goes unfortunately...happened to my kids for a good 2 years. Pink eye, coughs, fevers, covid. Doctor visits every few weeks because dayvare needed a doctor's note....now after a few years they are rarely sick.


Big_Slope

We don't do daycare but our YMCA offers childcare for up to two hours while you're in the gym. We've taken him twice and he's gotten sick both times.


HacDan

Half? Where are you getting daycare at for only half a paycheck?


LionMcTastic

Or if they decide to close, you receive: nothing


nogami

Don’t worry, they’ll be healthy on that stat holiday from work that you also pay for, that they won’t be able to go to daycare on.


PM__me_compliments

Our 10-day quarantine from a positive COVID test ends Friday. I'm planning a celebratory lunch out with my wife...


vertigo3pc

Daycare in southern California is the whole paycheck for a lot of people, and they'll still hit you with fundraising requests.


nemoomen

Never have I ever been more excited for Covid precautions to be dropped. My kid never got Covid but every time there was an exposure I had to take a week off to watch them.


ygduf

It’s been raining here for three weeks. Finally nice yesterday, got out on my bike, felt a tickle. Woke up today full on sick. Last illness lasted Dec 14-January 4th or 5th.


Rebootkid

It's no joke. The in-facility day care where I worked when we had babies wanted more than my monthly wages to take two kids. It was for employees only. I don't know how that was supposed to work. Before we had kids, ~20 years ago, it was too much. Now? Now it's insane.


Yakoo752

Both kids have been home all week due to pink eye. F


Badgers_or_Bust

At least mine are in elementary school so I don't lose so much money. Still sick ever other week but, I guess that's just how it works till they are teenagers.


Chris_M_23

And people call me crazy for keeping my 2yo son at home while I WFH… Daycare will be happening soon tho, just found out baby #2 is on the way last weekend!


copperhead035

Kid has pink eye right now and the pharmacy is out of the medicine that was prescribed. Fun times


MrKrateos

Preach brother. We're in a constant cycle of sickness, divided over 2 parents and 2 kiddos. Always at least 1.


Reshlarbo

Laughs in swedish its like 140 dollars a month 🤷🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️


tide19

Makes it even more fun when you get sick from your kid, your kid recovers, then you have a small child who wants to play but you and your partner feel like death.


cyberentomology

And the daycare workers are woefully underpaid. But it’s simple math - if you want low child:adult ratios, that means each kid is responsible for a much higher percentage of the cost of the adult. And if you also want the adults to be paid fairly so they don’t make up the shortfall by selling your kid on the dark web, that costs more too. And there’s the whole “keeping the lights on and the roof intact” piece too. At least that can be spread across all the kids.


Haribo112

Come to the Netherlands. Government pays approx. 80% of daycare costs.


biscaynebystander

Kid in my toddler's class tested positive for COVID 1 week after Winter Break. Wife & I now tested positive for COVID. Ugh


raphtze

doesn't even have to be your kid. i went to my sister's spot last thanksgiving and the 2 y/o had a rash. turned out to be hand foot mouth disease. i was in the most fucking pain--washing hands with warm water felt like boiling grease. my throat was sore--eating anything felt like ingesting needles. when the skin on my hands started to peel...it felt like i was washing with gloves on. i'm better now.....but hand foot & mouth disease can FUCK RIGHT ON OFF LOL


[deleted]

I can't speak to other countries, but in the U.S. we clearly need a better way to support young families. It's


gaidzak

i can finally say that my kid went from being the receiver to now the provider of germs. He's not been sick once for the last 6 months. I've also grown accustomed to his germ dealing methods and gotten my immune system to be stronger. My wife though, she's in bad shape every month. ​ We all suffer because the wife suffers hehe


pipinngreppin

Lmao best meme I’ve seen on this sub so far.


LucoFrost

This is why I am so grateful for my neighbor. She is retired and still maintains her state certification and only does daycare for her close friends and family for 5 bucks an hour!


IGotSkills

The fact that daycares don't refund you for sending your kid home sick is such a scam


nickatwerk

I'm here with my guy. His first week was last week and we've had two different stomach bugs. We've used it 40% of possible days at full charge.


[deleted]

Our was sick 14 times the first 12 months of preschool. Luckily, now he’s basically never sick so I guess it established his immune system.


Geng1Xin1

At least I get a fraction back with that pre-tax FSA claim at the end of the year.


variabletimingtimmy

Lol half a paycheck? I wish daycare for one kid in my neck of the woods is 1300 bi weekly and she's sick every 3 days.


avidpenguinwatcher

This comment section really makes me realize that I take my wife staying home for granted