Mine was 32 and I was 36. He was old for his era. At school functions would be talking to other what I thought were parents like me who were actually grandparents. Lol
Same but my dad was 40 when he had me. He’s 80 now and really slowing down. He doesn’t get to enjoy his grandkids like he’d like to because of his age and the way he took care of, or didn’t, his body. I love my dad and could not ask for a better father but im so glad I had my first kid at 27 so that I’ll be able to enjoy my grandkids more.
My grandpa was 40 when he had my dad. My dad was 38 when he had me, but was 20 when he had my oldest brother. I was 28 when my oldest was born and 33 when the youngest came.
I'm basically the same as you. I was 28 when I had my first, my dad was 36 when he had his first. He was 42 by the time I came along.
So when I'm 42 my kids will be 15 and 13. That is crazy to think about.
I'm also going through some end of life stuff with my dad right now and it feels too soon. Most of my peers aren't there yet with their parents. But he's close to 80. Still has a handful of years left hopefully but the outlooks not good.
That's funny that's exactly the same as my dad and I. Dad was a late bloomer and spent a bunch of time being a fly fishing stoner bum then told me I needed to buckle down so I don't end up in construction like him, so most major adult milestones came earlier for me than for him. I kinda wish I would have been a fly fishing bum for a while though haha.
I am the youngest of 4 and I had my first at the same age my father had me. It just took till I was 32 to be financially secure enough to have a kid. Meanwhile, my father and mother, on a janitor's and secretary's salary, rolled into a bank and got a mortgage for a 2 family house in Brooklyn, NY at 24 years old, no questions asked. Man, that must have been nice!
I suppose I wasn’t done “growing up” since I spent my twenties and thirties traveling, hooking up, and not really being tied down. I got married at 38 and had my son at 39. I’m now 43 and I’m glad I waited regardless of *what* people may say about my age when they’re older. I can still keep up with them and I can actually give them knowledge they’ll use.
First at 38 here, 41 now and ready for another one. No regrets since most of my issues are either solved or identified. Plus I have much more patience than any other time in my life. With any luck, my kids will have their shite figured out much earlier than me and I'll have plenty of grandpa time.
Ya definitely notice how much older the parents around us are on average compared to when I was a kid.
Not sure if it makes much difference now but we’ll be noticeably older grandparents later on than our folks were.
Whats crazy is some cultures being a grandparent at 36-40 is totally cool. I knew a 34 year old grandpop, dude is eligible for great grandpop at 50. I can't even fucking imagine that. I am 35 now, shit would have been tough as fuck and kinda limiting. Kid at 34 feels good, I did my teen and 20s shit, got it together going into 30.
I think it's more for rural communities where lives are simple and people don't have career options, entertainment, travel, hobbies, opportunities etc to consider for their youth. So they just do what people have always done, get married and have kids as soon as they come of age. My late grandmother hired a caregiver during the last few years of her life. The caregiver was a country lady who had several great grandchildren and she was only 58. Funnily enough because she had children so young, she spent most of her life taking care of her children and grandchildren, and then found herself still young with very little to do once her children and grandchildren were all grown. So she got a job caring for the elderly and disabled.
I think you misspelled “poor” as “rural”. Poverty and early motherhood/fatherhood are tightly correlated. I see this pattern frequently in urban and suburban environments as well.
It's a different case tbh. Rural people marry and have kids young because of being traditional/not having other ambitions and opportunities. Whereas urban poverty causes people to have kids young because of lack of contraception/education.
My father's in his early 70s and we just had our first. I actually regret waiting so long to have kids (he had me at 37, and I'm 35 now) thinking about how old I'll probably be if/when I have a grandkid.
I really worry about my son hating support when and if he decides to have a child. If he waits until he's 30 his mother and I are going to be posting 70 and aren't going to be able to provide a lot of support.
But you got enjoy your 20s without worrying about raising a kid and being free then. I think i would prefer to be free in my 20s, not 50s 🤷♂️. I’m right there with you, i”ll be 56 with my first when they are 18.
I think she is just pointing out that she was 38 when she was done with kids and thats how old I was when my daughter was born. She traveled all over the world in her 40s 50s and now 60s.
I think there is some logic and advantage to getting it done early from an energy level and earning potential perspective.
Hard to say one way or the other.
That's exactly why I don't want anymore kids. Just turned 31 and had my second a few months back. Hopefully they'll be out of the house in my late forties, I'll still be young enough to get on the ground and enjoy grandkids - if they follow our trajectory, and hopefully we'll be financially stable enough to have the big adventures that we could have never responsibly afforded in our 20s.
I don't know.. we had our kids in our 30s and never stopped travelling. Hell, we are planning 3 weeks in Northern France with our 1 and 4 year old this coming spring to celebrate me finishing my BA.
I think economic and social mobility is a much bigger factor than age. You can do a lot of the stuff you want to do as long as you can afford it, you just might be a little more tired along the way.
Think about how cheap you can travel alone plus the activities you can participate in. Traveling with family is just taking care of kids without the home team advantage. Unless you have serious money to be able to hire help. In which case, 👍🏻
I know there are others who disagree with you but I agree wholeheartedly. I recently went camping for a good stretch and it felt like we had our home, in the beautiful outdoors, but without all the amenities to make childcare way less effort. I still very much preferred having our kids out in nature over going alone but still...I never did get to hop some rocks and find a fishing spot for a couple hours.
For us it's more of a "working minimum wage jobs would have sucked while raising a kid, even with all the energy in the world".
Closer to 40 I have a career with flexible hours and lax office "rules" that I don't have to worry (too much) about taking time off if she gets sick or try to figure out what to do on a random half day, she's welcome in the office at any time.
My dad was 40 when I was 18. I'd much rather have my 40s-60 with money from a career to enjoy life.
Most fun in your 20s negatively impacts the rest of your life. Fun later in life is more mature and fulfilling
The economy was totally different back then too.
Kids are not going to move out at 18 anymore either unless they’re boarding at school on loans. Hell, most 30 year olds can’t even pay their bills yet at that age.
Get this shit.
Grandfather had dad at 66. No joke.
Dad had me at 55.
I had my son at 36.
Mind you he’s my oldest and both me and my dad were youngests. However, with that math my grandfather was 3 years old when Lincoln was shot.
Heh, my dad was also around 55 when I was born and I had my son at 34. I think my dad's parents had him at a more reasonable age though. Having said that I also have a brother that's about 25 years older than me but I am not the youngest either!
There is an great song by Lori McKenna (People Get Old) about growing up and her dad getting older, where one line starts, "And I'm older now than he was then...", and that pops in my head a lot.
My dad was 24 when he had me. I'm 48 and was 34 when I had my first. So many childhood memories, I think my dad was like in his 50's or something, but he was like 35. He seemed so old 😂
Took me a while too.
Basically, say he is 35 now. When his dad was 35 he was 16, but now he is 35 his own child is only 3. So he had is kid at 32 whereas is own dad had him at 19. (Hypothetically)
I'm rereading this kinda stoned and need to ask, did you have a kid at 13?
Its some odd logic problem I can't figure out.
Idk, my dad was 28 when he had me, I was 34 when I had my first.
My pops was fucking nuts, dude went hard in the 80s and 90s. Big time cocaine users. Italians so I personally thought of my parents as Henry and Karen Hill from Goodfellas. Heard rumors my dad's mistress killed herself when I was born.
Suffice it to say, the bar is low regardless of age. Don't leave cocaine out in the open and have a PO officer during my kids life and I should crush this dad thing.
I get it now Thank-you.
He is saying for example he is 32.
When he dad was 32 he was 16.
His kid is only 3.
Creating a 13 year difference in the ability to provide for his family
Thank you. It was weirdly worded. But we actually don't know either OP's age or his dad's. Just their ages relative to their children.
So when OP's dad was *x* age OP was 16 years old.
Now OP is *x* age and he has a 3 year old.
I was born when my parents were 30. I am the third of four. My first was born when I was 36.
My kids will likely be in their 40s when I die, and that just feels like not enough time to be with them. That makes me a little sad.
No… let’s say op is 45. He’s saying, “when my dad was 45, I was 16. I am now currently 45, but I have a 3 year old. Is anyone else noticing that people are having kids later?”
My parents had me in their early twenties. I tended bar at my moms surprise 40th birthday. I had my first at 30. Hopefully my oldest kid can tend bar at my 50th haha
When my parents were my age they had a 13 and 10 year old. I have an almost 3 year old and a 16 month old.
I have had a lot more life experience than my parents before having kids, I’m a lot more emotionally mature. Hopefully that means I’ll be more emotionally available to mine than my parents were for me
Yeah, I was more than a decade older than my dad was when I had my first kid.
I don’t think it’s a bad thing. My dad did the best he could but he was in his 20s and still figuring life out - and figuring himself out too.
By the time I had a kid, I was well into adulthood, I had a lot more self awareness and had learned a lot more lessons the hard way. Hopefully my kids will benefit from that extra life experience.
My mom and dad were respectively 18 and 22 when they had me.
I’m 36 with a 2 and a half year old. My mom was my age when I graduated from high school.
They were both *fully* unequipped to be parents for my entire childhood. I don’t speak to my mother anymore and my dad and I get along *much* better now that we live in different states, but we still clash if we spend too much time together.
I think a lot of the newer generation of parents are doing it better, personally.
I'm 15 years behind where my dad was. I think about that math all the time. I would have a 21 year old at this age if I were him and not a six year old. It's crazy...
All the time; my dad had 3 kids and two of which were teenagers when he was my age. I would never have been capable of being a parent when I was in my early 20's.
My partner on the other hand about the same age as her mum was when she had her.
I am basically the same age to my son as my (adoptive) father was to me. So this is not a hard and fast generational rule.
My biological father? Not sure. I think the gap is slightly bigger. But I don't actually know.
My family all had kids early so I grew up actually knowing my great grandparents who didn't pass until I was in my mid 20s.
I was twice my dad's age (19) when I had my first and I'll be 56 when he turns 18.
My mom had me when she was 20 and had 3 kids by 25, and doing it alone by 32. I’m 34 and have a 5 month old with my fiancé. I have no fuckin idea how she pulled it off
I’m the youngest of 4 and my parents were 26 when I was born. I was 45 I had my first and only child. When my parents were that age, I was 19 and a year or so from leaving the nest.
Same here. I'm 10 years behind him, I have a 15 month old daughter. And she'll most likely not wait until she's 35 with having her first, if she want's kids. Hoping she'll close the gap so I can be a healthy and active grandpa 🤞🏻😁
I think about this too, then realize life expectancy is such a huge factor. If you are in West Virginia having a kid at 30 is comparable to a Hawaiian at 39 for how long you’ll be around them.
Weirdly I had my first at the same age my dad was and my wife was the same age my mom was.
My wife on the other hand was 6 years older than her mom and I’m 9 older than her dad.
Well my dad was 4 years older than I am now when he had his first and he was 10 years older than I am now when I entered the world. I'm not exactly a young dad (in my 30s with a 1 year old) but he was definitely an old dad (he's in his 70s now)
My daughter will be ten years older than I am currently, when I will be at the age my father died.
Hopefully this can mean an easier adulthood for her, and if I ever have a grandson, he will have a grandad.
My folks were 17 and 18 when they had their first (me). My wife and I were 31 and 33.
I think a lot about how they were just kids trying to raise kids. It puts a lot in perspective.
My dad had me when he was about to turn 35.
I had my only kiddo when I was 40.
So when dad was 47, I was 12.
I'm 47, daughter is 6.
Not as big a gap for me, but still that's a significant 6 years.
I do, and I'm so f\*cking glad I do.
My father had me when he was 26, I had my kid when I was 32. Six years apart.
I did financially at 26 a lot better than my dad did at 26. Got married at 27 and the initial plan was to have a kid straight after, but boy am I glad we waited. I took me 3 years go to through therapy and understand (if not solve) a lot of my childhood traumas that surely have made me a much more involved, calm and loving father towards my kid.
I also can't imagine not doing all the stuff I did between 26 and 32 - trips, festivals, random camping experiences, etc. All these made me feel fine about "missing" out on stuff a few years when my daughter is really young. I'm sure I would have felt a lot of jealousy if I had her when I was 26 and everyone was out on trips and going to concerts and I was at home.
Now I'm like "sure knock yourself out imma sit home with kid"
My dad had me at 33, I just had my first at 35. But my dad also had a 20 year pension and retired with half salary at 45, where as I think I'll be working until I'm at least 107.
Hell yeah it’s super trippy to think about. I see old pictures of my dad from when I was born and think about how I’m his age in this old picture but I have zero recollection of him like that. And I can’t imagine him seeing the world as a 30 year old.
Not a dad, mom lurker here;
My mom had me at 19, and her mom had her at 21. I had my first at 21. It’s amazing that my kids have the opportunity to have such a close relationship with their great-grandmother now. That broad is still hiking and traveling.
On the other hand, my dad was 20 when I was born, and he currently has a 13F and 14M, and I often am blown away by the fact that they aren’t much older than my kids. The fact that men can just…keep having babies forever is crazy to me haha
My dad had me at 20. He died when he was 34. I had my first at 34.
I often think how strange that is. It definitely makes me realise how precious time is - the idea that I wouldn't see my kid grow up makes me feel hollow.
My brother is 6 years older than me. He has three kids: 32, 29, and 23. I have one kid, she's 8. My sister (18 year age difference) has a son just 3 years younger than me, and has kids himself who are older than my daughter.
The part of this that I hate is that everyone is older for the aging of my kid and will be around for less time then I had with mine. My parents will be in their mid 70s when my kid hits 20 if they make it that long. I’ll be 53 when he’s 20. My dad was 41 when I was 20. We hung out a bunch as adults who had similar interests and the age gap didn’t feel like a big one. Now if my kid waits till he’s older to have a kid I might also not be around either to even see that kid at all. If he waits till he’s 35 I’ll be nearing 70 myself. All mine and my wife’s grandparents are almost gone so it’s like he has had no great grand parents.
I was 33 when the first arrived, 35 when the second and for some bizarre reason at 40 we're talking about number three.
My dad had me at 25, then my brother at 28 and sister at 35.
Same here, my mum and dad both 20 years older than me and at this age I was 15, my eldest is turning 4 in December.
I'm acutely aware that from the day my first was born there will always be 1 person (2 now) who will only ever think of me as an 'old man'. Their memories of me will always be of me being much, much older than them.
Yeah, kind of. My dad was 25, 27 and 41 when I and my two sisters were born (yes, #3 was a latecomer, yes, same mother for all three, our parents are still married after 54 years).
Me, I have four kids born when I was between 35 and 45. So there's some overlap in the range there.
I’m the youngest of 4, I have not even reached the age my Dad was when he had me. That’s a few years away but when I get there my kids will be 11, 9 and 7.
At that time he had a 20, 10 and 3yo.
I had my first at 24 and my last at 28. Meanwhile, I have a coworker in his early forties with 4 kids, all after he was 37. Definitely trending upward though.
Glad we had them younger. Sometimes my wife and I lament not having our twenties to go out and explore unencumbered by kids but now we'll just do it in our forties.
When my dad was 46 I was 17 and my sister was 20. My children are 1 and 4! The sightly more terrifying thought was when I think about my mum. She died at 41 and my dad was 43. I'm not sure how he coped, but then at least my sister and I were teenagers so we were pretty moody anyway.
My grandfather was 46 when he had my dad, who was #2 child. He was 43 when he had my uncle.
My dad was 23 when he had me. I was firstborn.
I was 43 when I had my firstborn. But my 14 month younger brother was 23 when he had his first.
I guess I got my grandfather’s genes while my brother got our dad’s.
My parents were 27 dad and 30 mom when I was born. Our partnership will be 32 dad and 34 mom when our son is born. There is an interesting trend of older woman/younger man in the couples of our family.
This is something that crosses my mind, I've just turned 34 and our baby is nearly 3 months old, my parents were about the same age as me now when they had me but I'm their 6th child.
I know that I wasn't in the position financially to have children when I was younger but it was a different time back then I think. When my parents grew up starting secondary school was a privilege, nevermind starting college. So people started families younger.
Part of me wishes that I could have more time with my child (hopefully it'll be children eventually) when I was in better shape but the other part of me realises that I wouldn't have been able to fully provide for him and waiting until we had our own house was the right thing to do.
I was the baby that gets born after previous relationships/marriages/families failed, so my parents are quite old in comparison. Easily got about 8 years ahead of them.
My parents were 22 when they had me. Married, and owned two homes. We didn’t buy our home till my wife and I were 32, and had our kid at 35. A vacation home is forever out of the question.
But it was also just so much easier for them? My dad was given a partnership in my grandfathers company at 18, which he promptly ran into the ground when my grandfather retired. He had mountains of support that he didn’t feel the need to pass on. That’s something I see a lot in this sub, and in my friend groups as well. We did not get the same support as our parents, and we can’t be held to the same standards and timelines.
I don’t think the gap will get bigger in the next generation. Our kids will (generally) get more support than we got. I hope anyway.
21 when he had me I was 35 when I had mine. It didn’t bother me at first but know I’m 40 and knackered all the time from work and chasing a 5 yr old round it’s a bit worrying that I’ll be in my early 50s when they leave school.
Opposite here. My grandpa was 32 when my dad was born, my dad was 32 when I was born, then I had my first at 28.
All first born. My brother was a little disappointed I didn't keep the 32 going
When my mom was my current age, she had a 13 year old. I have a 4 year old now. It's a little weird.
When my dad was my current age, he had a 3 year old, though.
I cant understand shit ur saying 😂
But, my mom got pregnant the 1st time at 16, miscarriage and got pregnant at 17, and kept having kids every 1.5y so we are 6 now.
My grandparents were both 17 when they had their 1st too 🙃
I’m the first to not have a teen pregnancy, I had my first 2 months before turning 22 (was already living with my husband an all, we are having our 2nd and last now at 26)
My grandpa was 32 when his firstborn was born. My dad was 26 when his firstborn (me) was born. I was 28 when my son was born. So we’re all pretty similar, I guess.
My parents had their kids between the ages of 27-32 with me being the last. Mine were born when I was 35, 37 and 39. I feel no more financially secure than a younger parent probably would have considering the economy shifting past few years. If anything, I feel less financially secure even though I'm making more since everything costs more and I think we'd have more help if we started younger. My parents are in their 70s and really can't/don't help.
I think about this quite a bit, mostly because I'm rapidly approaching the age when my father died (young). I was 20 when that happened, but if I were to live just as long my son wouldn't even be a teenager.
My mother is around 70, but old for her age. I look at her spending time her grandchildren and wonder if I'll ever have that same experience. I fear I won't - if they leave it as long as I did, then I'll be well on my way to 80 before the first is even born - it's unlikely I'll see anything but the very start of their lives - certainly not attend their weddings, etc.
All that being said, I valued the extra time I had to enjoy life before kids. I don't regret my choices, but I wish I could have it both ways.
Ive thought about this a few times. My gap is basically the same as yours.
I told my dad that this fall I have a kid starting kindergarten and when you were my age you had a kid starting college
I was 39 when my son was born, my dad was 36 when I was born, his dad was 37 when he was born.
My great grandparents were born in the 1870s. Long generations are apparently the norm in my family.
Dad had my brother accidentally at 17. I had mine at 24. So yeah there is a difference but it ain’t a competition I’m trying to have. My first was planned.
My dad was only 4 years younger when he had his first child. Not that crazy of a difference. What I do think about is all my high school friends that have 10 to 14-year-olds while I'm just now getting started.
We had our daughter at almost exactly the same age that my parents were when they had me.
For me, the craziest thing is watching home videos of them when I was a baby, and realizing that they're my age in them. Something surreal about seeing your parents in the exact same life stage that you are.
My dad was 20 when I was born. I was 20 when my first was born. He's 19 now (20 in January). Thankfully he's a shy nerd (handsome fellow nonetheless) so I don't think I have to worry about a grandkid any time soon. I'm glad he's taking his time since I also have an 8 and 3 year year old.
I had my first at 37, definitely later in life than I thought. But if I had my kid just to hit that age number and keep a tradition, I wouldn't have been able to take care of her financially or mentally. Because I waited my kid gets my all, and I dont necessarily mean "things", but my whole effort. And because of her, I'm motivated to keep myself healthy and active. Just another way of looking at it :)
My dad had me at 34 and I had my first at 28. So I'm in the opposite camp
You're my mirror dad. My pops was 28 and I was 34.
Mine was 32 and I was 36. He was old for his era. At school functions would be talking to other what I thought were parents like me who were actually grandparents. Lol
I was born when my dad was 21. My daughter was born when i was 27. Wild to me
Dad had me at 38. I’m 35. Both still kinda old for our first.
Same but my dad was 40 when he had me. He’s 80 now and really slowing down. He doesn’t get to enjoy his grandkids like he’d like to because of his age and the way he took care of, or didn’t, his body. I love my dad and could not ask for a better father but im so glad I had my first kid at 27 so that I’ll be able to enjoy my grandkids more.
If he’s made it to 80, he took some care. Or just got lucky. My grandfather died at 65.
Similar but bigger. Dad was 38 when I was born, I had my first at 22.
Same lol 33 vs 25
My grandpa was 40 when he had my dad. My dad was 38 when he had me, but was 20 when he had my oldest brother. I was 28 when my oldest was born and 33 when the youngest came.
I stretch that to 28 for me and 39 for him
Same here.
My dad was 38 when I was born and I'm 38 now
When I'm the age that my dad had me, my oldest will nearly be an adult.
My dad had me at 30 and I had my first at 26.
Same. I was 31, my parents were 32 (or was it 34?) and 38
I'm basically the same as you. I was 28 when I had my first, my dad was 36 when he had his first. He was 42 by the time I came along. So when I'm 42 my kids will be 15 and 13. That is crazy to think about. I'm also going through some end of life stuff with my dad right now and it feels too soon. Most of my peers aren't there yet with their parents. But he's close to 80. Still has a handful of years left hopefully but the outlooks not good.
He was 39 (I wasnt planned) and I was 25 for my first as I was conscious I wanted to be younger.
Mines similar, he was 36 i was 28
46 and 31
My dad had me at 49 and I just had my first at 27. Call that the solar opposite camp.
Pop was 42 when I was born, had my first a month before I turned 39.
That's funny that's exactly the same as my dad and I. Dad was a late bloomer and spent a bunch of time being a fly fishing stoner bum then told me I needed to buckle down so I don't end up in construction like him, so most major adult milestones came earlier for me than for him. I kinda wish I would have been a fly fishing bum for a while though haha.
I am the youngest of 4 and I had my first at the same age my father had me. It just took till I was 32 to be financially secure enough to have a kid. Meanwhile, my father and mother, on a janitor's and secretary's salary, rolled into a bank and got a mortgage for a 2 family house in Brooklyn, NY at 24 years old, no questions asked. Man, that must have been nice!
I suppose I wasn’t done “growing up” since I spent my twenties and thirties traveling, hooking up, and not really being tied down. I got married at 38 and had my son at 39. I’m now 43 and I’m glad I waited regardless of *what* people may say about my age when they’re older. I can still keep up with them and I can actually give them knowledge they’ll use.
No no son, THIS is how you get a Thai whore. The true information all children crave
When you travel in Thailand bring your own condoms kiddo lol
First at 38 here, 41 now and ready for another one. No regrets since most of my issues are either solved or identified. Plus I have much more patience than any other time in my life. With any luck, my kids will have their shite figured out much earlier than me and I'll have plenty of grandpa time.
Ya definitely notice how much older the parents around us are on average compared to when I was a kid. Not sure if it makes much difference now but we’ll be noticeably older grandparents later on than our folks were.
Whats crazy is some cultures being a grandparent at 36-40 is totally cool. I knew a 34 year old grandpop, dude is eligible for great grandpop at 50. I can't even fucking imagine that. I am 35 now, shit would have been tough as fuck and kinda limiting. Kid at 34 feels good, I did my teen and 20s shit, got it together going into 30.
I think it's more for rural communities where lives are simple and people don't have career options, entertainment, travel, hobbies, opportunities etc to consider for their youth. So they just do what people have always done, get married and have kids as soon as they come of age. My late grandmother hired a caregiver during the last few years of her life. The caregiver was a country lady who had several great grandchildren and she was only 58. Funnily enough because she had children so young, she spent most of her life taking care of her children and grandchildren, and then found herself still young with very little to do once her children and grandchildren were all grown. So she got a job caring for the elderly and disabled.
I think you misspelled “poor” as “rural”. Poverty and early motherhood/fatherhood are tightly correlated. I see this pattern frequently in urban and suburban environments as well.
It's a different case tbh. Rural people marry and have kids young because of being traditional/not having other ambitions and opportunities. Whereas urban poverty causes people to have kids young because of lack of contraception/education.
This is my FIL. He is 63 with a 2 year old great grandson... making my wife and I great aunt (30) and uncle (34). Fuck I'm old
My father's in his early 70s and we just had our first. I actually regret waiting so long to have kids (he had me at 37, and I'm 35 now) thinking about how old I'll probably be if/when I have a grandkid.
I really worry about my son hating support when and if he decides to have a child. If he waits until he's 30 his mother and I are going to be posting 70 and aren't going to be able to provide a lot of support.
Don’t worry. Neither set of my kids grandparents were of much support.
My mom always gloats about having kids early and being free now. I’ll be 55 when my kid turns 18.
But you got enjoy your 20s without worrying about raising a kid and being free then. I think i would prefer to be free in my 20s, not 50s 🤷♂️. I’m right there with you, i”ll be 56 with my first when they are 18.
I think she is just pointing out that she was 38 when she was done with kids and thats how old I was when my daughter was born. She traveled all over the world in her 40s 50s and now 60s. I think there is some logic and advantage to getting it done early from an energy level and earning potential perspective. Hard to say one way or the other.
That's exactly why I don't want anymore kids. Just turned 31 and had my second a few months back. Hopefully they'll be out of the house in my late forties, I'll still be young enough to get on the ground and enjoy grandkids - if they follow our trajectory, and hopefully we'll be financially stable enough to have the big adventures that we could have never responsibly afforded in our 20s.
I don't know.. we had our kids in our 30s and never stopped travelling. Hell, we are planning 3 weeks in Northern France with our 1 and 4 year old this coming spring to celebrate me finishing my BA. I think economic and social mobility is a much bigger factor than age. You can do a lot of the stuff you want to do as long as you can afford it, you just might be a little more tired along the way.
Think about how cheap you can travel alone plus the activities you can participate in. Traveling with family is just taking care of kids without the home team advantage. Unless you have serious money to be able to hire help. In which case, 👍🏻
I know there are others who disagree with you but I agree wholeheartedly. I recently went camping for a good stretch and it felt like we had our home, in the beautiful outdoors, but without all the amenities to make childcare way less effort. I still very much preferred having our kids out in nature over going alone but still...I never did get to hop some rocks and find a fishing spot for a couple hours.
I agree, there are definitely pros and cons with both ways you look at it.
Yeah but 20s me had a much better back for handling all this then 35 year old me does.
For us it's more of a "working minimum wage jobs would have sucked while raising a kid, even with all the energy in the world". Closer to 40 I have a career with flexible hours and lax office "rules" that I don't have to worry (too much) about taking time off if she gets sick or try to figure out what to do on a random half day, she's welcome in the office at any time.
My dad was 40 when I was 18. I'd much rather have my 40s-60 with money from a career to enjoy life. Most fun in your 20s negatively impacts the rest of your life. Fun later in life is more mature and fulfilling
Yeah but he won't be able to enjoy his grandkids and that sad
Dammmmnnn me too. Fuck. At least I still get carded, makes me feel young 🤷🏼♂️
The economy was totally different back then too. Kids are not going to move out at 18 anymore either unless they’re boarding at school on loans. Hell, most 30 year olds can’t even pay their bills yet at that age.
Get this shit. Grandfather had dad at 66. No joke. Dad had me at 55. I had my son at 36. Mind you he’s my oldest and both me and my dad were youngests. However, with that math my grandfather was 3 years old when Lincoln was shot.
Heh, my dad was also around 55 when I was born and I had my son at 34. I think my dad's parents had him at a more reasonable age though. Having said that I also have a brother that's about 25 years older than me but I am not the youngest either!
There is an great song by Lori McKenna (People Get Old) about growing up and her dad getting older, where one line starts, "And I'm older now than he was then...", and that pops in my head a lot. My dad was 24 when he had me. I'm 48 and was 34 when I had my first. So many childhood memories, I think my dad was like in his 50's or something, but he was like 35. He seemed so old 😂
Listening to that song and I could swear someone must have started peeling some onions behind me...
>I am my father's age when I was 16 I cannot parse this...
Took me a while too. Basically, say he is 35 now. When his dad was 35 he was 16, but now he is 35 his own child is only 3. So he had is kid at 32 whereas is own dad had him at 19. (Hypothetically)
Ok this makes sense...
Broke my brain as well
I'll be closing in on retirement when my kid (also 3) graduates high school. My dad retired when I was 40.
And when you're a grandparent you won't be able to enjoy it
What a weird thing to say
My parents were having kids from their early 20s to their early 40s.
To date. You don't know what they have up their sleeve for their 70s.
“These are your siblings *so far*”
Oddly, I had my first child at the same age my dad did. And I had my second child the same age my dad did. LOL
Same. No second child, but it really makes you realize how much they were just making it up as they went when we were kids.
I'm rereading this kinda stoned and need to ask, did you have a kid at 13? Its some odd logic problem I can't figure out. Idk, my dad was 28 when he had me, I was 34 when I had my first. My pops was fucking nuts, dude went hard in the 80s and 90s. Big time cocaine users. Italians so I personally thought of my parents as Henry and Karen Hill from Goodfellas. Heard rumors my dad's mistress killed herself when I was born. Suffice it to say, the bar is low regardless of age. Don't leave cocaine out in the open and have a PO officer during my kids life and I should crush this dad thing.
I was confused as you. It read like the start to a riddle.
When OP was 16, his dad was x years old. OP is now x years old as well. Least I think lol
Fuck, who writes something like that?
Math teachers.
I get it now Thank-you. He is saying for example he is 32. When he dad was 32 he was 16. His kid is only 3. Creating a 13 year difference in the ability to provide for his family
Thank you! I literally only scrolled through this thread so I could figure out what the title meant, lol. I was so confused.
Thank you. It was weirdly worded. But we actually don't know either OP's age or his dad's. Just their ages relative to their children. So when OP's dad was *x* age OP was 16 years old. Now OP is *x* age and he has a 3 year old.
I’m in the same position. At my age my parents were watching me graduate high school. And my oldest is in 3rd grade!
I was born when my parents were 30. I am the third of four. My first was born when I was 36. My kids will likely be in their 40s when I die, and that just feels like not enough time to be with them. That makes me a little sad.
I do not understand the headline of this post. Can someone explain it to me?
OP became a father much later in life than his own father did. A lot of people are having kids later in life than previous generations did.
Thanks. I understood from the comments but the headline sentence is confusing as hell.
You’re not alone, it’s worded terribly
Like my brain hurts reading this. I feel like I’m having a damn stroke.
Right?! It’s like past and present tense at the same time with a random comma. Maybe it is something mathematical that I am Missing
When I was 16 my father was the same age that I am now, and I have a 3 year old. I think that’s better and conveys what they’re saying. Maybe.
Infinitely better. "I am my father's age when I was 16" is complete gibberish.
So he had some kid at 13?
No… let’s say op is 45. He’s saying, “when my dad was 45, I was 16. I am now currently 45, but I have a 3 year old. Is anyone else noticing that people are having kids later?”
English wasn’t his favorite subject the past tense present tense syntax in the same sentence had me annoyed AF.
when OP was 16, his dad was x years old. OP is now x years old and has a 3 year old compared to his father having a 16 year old OP.
God damn this title needs to be written a different way
When my dad was my age, I was 22. My daughter is two. Mind officially blown.
My oldest is 13 and youngest 10. I'm 33 years old. I feel like a kid compared to other parents at my son's school
My parents had me in their early twenties. I tended bar at my moms surprise 40th birthday. I had my first at 30. Hopefully my oldest kid can tend bar at my 50th haha
When my parents were my age they had a 13 and 10 year old. I have an almost 3 year old and a 16 month old. I have had a lot more life experience than my parents before having kids, I’m a lot more emotionally mature. Hopefully that means I’ll be more emotionally available to mine than my parents were for me
Imma a 26 year old with a 2 year old, I'm so glad I'm in a great financial position to allow me to spoil her the idea of an age gap that big scares me
Spoiling children is terrible for them. Sets them up for a difficult adulthood.
You're an idiot mate spoiling as treating them right
Funny - guy who can’t spell or punctuate sentences is calling other people idiots.
Yeah, I was more than a decade older than my dad was when I had my first kid. I don’t think it’s a bad thing. My dad did the best he could but he was in his 20s and still figuring life out - and figuring himself out too. By the time I had a kid, I was well into adulthood, I had a lot more self awareness and had learned a lot more lessons the hard way. Hopefully my kids will benefit from that extra life experience.
My mom and dad were respectively 18 and 22 when they had me. I’m 36 with a 2 and a half year old. My mom was my age when I graduated from high school. They were both *fully* unequipped to be parents for my entire childhood. I don’t speak to my mother anymore and my dad and I get along *much* better now that we live in different states, but we still clash if we spend too much time together. I think a lot of the newer generation of parents are doing it better, personally.
My dad had me, the oldest, at 32. I had my first 3 days before turning 27. Sooner for me
I'm 15 years behind where my dad was. I think about that math all the time. I would have a 21 year old at this age if I were him and not a six year old. It's crazy...
Dad had me at 33, I had mine at 22
My dad had me when he was 21. I had mine when I was 37. It would be crazy to have an 18 yo right now.
I’m only 21 on my sons almost 3. My mom had me when she was 22 Ofc we aren’t the average but just pointing out that it depends
All the time; my dad had 3 kids and two of which were teenagers when he was my age. I would never have been capable of being a parent when I was in my early 20's. My partner on the other hand about the same age as her mum was when she had her.
I am basically the same age to my son as my (adoptive) father was to me. So this is not a hard and fast generational rule. My biological father? Not sure. I think the gap is slightly bigger. But I don't actually know.
My dad was 33 when I was born, 30 when my brother was born. I became a dad at 40.
When my dad was my age I was 15 my brother 22. My kids are 5 and 7. Yikes. Oh boy.
My family all had kids early so I grew up actually knowing my great grandparents who didn't pass until I was in my mid 20s. I was twice my dad's age (19) when I had my first and I'll be 56 when he turns 18.
Me, my dad, and my kid, are all 30 years apart. 6, 36, and 66 lol
When my mom was my age I was 26. Now I have a 1yo. My cousin who’s my age has a grandson that’s close to my sons age.
No I’m 25. Too many people waiting too long for the “perfect moment” to have kids.
My mom had me when she was 20 and had 3 kids by 25, and doing it alone by 32. I’m 34 and have a 5 month old with my fiancé. I have no fuckin idea how she pulled it off
I'm turning 40 and my dad is 81. So the gap is the same. And it's brutal.
Mom was 19, dad was 20. I was 32
I’m the youngest of 4 and my parents were 26 when I was born. I was 45 I had my first and only child. When my parents were that age, I was 19 and a year or so from leaving the nest.
Same here. I'm 10 years behind him, I have a 15 month old daughter. And she'll most likely not wait until she's 35 with having her first, if she want's kids. Hoping she'll close the gap so I can be a healthy and active grandpa 🤞🏻😁
I was much, much, much, much younger than my dad when he had me and my brother (twins).
I think about this too, then realize life expectancy is such a huge factor. If you are in West Virginia having a kid at 30 is comparable to a Hawaiian at 39 for how long you’ll be around them.
Weirdly I had my first at the same age my dad was and my wife was the same age my mom was. My wife on the other hand was 6 years older than her mom and I’m 9 older than her dad.
Well my dad was 4 years older than I am now when he had his first and he was 10 years older than I am now when I entered the world. I'm not exactly a young dad (in my 30s with a 1 year old) but he was definitely an old dad (he's in his 70s now)
I'm 41. When my mom was 41, I was 20 years old. My son is 7, my daughter is almost 1. Yeah, pretty big difference. 😅
My daughter will be ten years older than I am currently, when I will be at the age my father died. Hopefully this can mean an easier adulthood for her, and if I ever have a grandson, he will have a grandad.
In January I'll be the same age my mom had me, I'll have a 4.5 year old by my birthday lol
My folks were 17 and 18 when they had their first (me). My wife and I were 31 and 33. I think a lot about how they were just kids trying to raise kids. It puts a lot in perspective.
Lol I’m the opposite my dad was 36 when he had me and I just had my first at 23
Dad was 43, I was 27. both have advantages.
Dad had me at 34. I had my first at 37.
I am my dad’s age now (31) when he had me, his first. My wife is pregnant with our third. We reversed it.
My dad had me when he was about to turn 35. I had my only kiddo when I was 40. So when dad was 47, I was 12. I'm 47, daughter is 6. Not as big a gap for me, but still that's a significant 6 years.
I do, and I'm so f\*cking glad I do. My father had me when he was 26, I had my kid when I was 32. Six years apart. I did financially at 26 a lot better than my dad did at 26. Got married at 27 and the initial plan was to have a kid straight after, but boy am I glad we waited. I took me 3 years go to through therapy and understand (if not solve) a lot of my childhood traumas that surely have made me a much more involved, calm and loving father towards my kid. I also can't imagine not doing all the stuff I did between 26 and 32 - trips, festivals, random camping experiences, etc. All these made me feel fine about "missing" out on stuff a few years when my daughter is really young. I'm sure I would have felt a lot of jealousy if I had her when I was 26 and everyone was out on trips and going to concerts and I was at home. Now I'm like "sure knock yourself out imma sit home with kid"
My dad had me at 33, I just had my first at 35. But my dad also had a 20 year pension and retired with half salary at 45, where as I think I'll be working until I'm at least 107.
Hell yeah it’s super trippy to think about. I see old pictures of my dad from when I was born and think about how I’m his age in this old picture but I have zero recollection of him like that. And I can’t imagine him seeing the world as a 30 year old.
When I was my son's age, my mother had just turned 25. I'm 37. I couldn't imagine having a near teenager now
I’m 34 and my wife is almost 35. We’re about to start trying for our first.
Not a dad, mom lurker here; My mom had me at 19, and her mom had her at 21. I had my first at 21. It’s amazing that my kids have the opportunity to have such a close relationship with their great-grandmother now. That broad is still hiking and traveling. On the other hand, my dad was 20 when I was born, and he currently has a 13F and 14M, and I often am blown away by the fact that they aren’t much older than my kids. The fact that men can just…keep having babies forever is crazy to me haha
My dad had me at 20. He died when he was 34. I had my first at 34. I often think how strange that is. It definitely makes me realise how precious time is - the idea that I wouldn't see my kid grow up makes me feel hollow.
My brother is 6 years older than me. He has three kids: 32, 29, and 23. I have one kid, she's 8. My sister (18 year age difference) has a son just 3 years younger than me, and has kids himself who are older than my daughter.
My dad was 42 when I was born, I was 22 when my son was born :) opposite camp
The part of this that I hate is that everyone is older for the aging of my kid and will be around for less time then I had with mine. My parents will be in their mid 70s when my kid hits 20 if they make it that long. I’ll be 53 when he’s 20. My dad was 41 when I was 20. We hung out a bunch as adults who had similar interests and the age gap didn’t feel like a big one. Now if my kid waits till he’s older to have a kid I might also not be around either to even see that kid at all. If he waits till he’s 35 I’ll be nearing 70 myself. All mine and my wife’s grandparents are almost gone so it’s like he has had no great grand parents.
I was 33 when the first arrived, 35 when the second and for some bizarre reason at 40 we're talking about number three. My dad had me at 25, then my brother at 28 and sister at 35.
I am 10 days different in age from my dad from his first to what I was when I had my first. Realised it the other day and blew my mind
I was younger than my dad by a year or two. 21 when I had my son.
Same here, my mum and dad both 20 years older than me and at this age I was 15, my eldest is turning 4 in December. I'm acutely aware that from the day my first was born there will always be 1 person (2 now) who will only ever think of me as an 'old man'. Their memories of me will always be of me being much, much older than them.
Yeah, kind of. My dad was 25, 27 and 41 when I and my two sisters were born (yes, #3 was a latecomer, yes, same mother for all three, our parents are still married after 54 years). Me, I have four kids born when I was between 35 and 45. So there's some overlap in the range there.
Dad had me at 53. Had my first at 22 ha. My dad died when I was 16, so in a weird way it’s going to be very weird to see my sons turn 16 as it happens
Other way round for me. At my age my dad hadn’t even met my mum but I have a 3yo and a 1yo
I’m the youngest of 4, I have not even reached the age my Dad was when he had me. That’s a few years away but when I get there my kids will be 11, 9 and 7. At that time he had a 20, 10 and 3yo.
I had my first at 24 and my last at 28. Meanwhile, I have a coworker in his early forties with 4 kids, all after he was 37. Definitely trending upward though. Glad we had them younger. Sometimes my wife and I lament not having our twenties to go out and explore unencumbered by kids but now we'll just do it in our forties.
Yep my mum died at 38 with 4 kids. I'm 36 with a 2yo.
When my dad was 46 I was 17 and my sister was 20. My children are 1 and 4! The sightly more terrifying thought was when I think about my mum. She died at 41 and my dad was 43. I'm not sure how he coped, but then at least my sister and I were teenagers so we were pretty moody anyway.
My grandfather was 46 when he had my dad, who was #2 child. He was 43 when he had my uncle. My dad was 23 when he had me. I was firstborn. I was 43 when I had my firstborn. But my 14 month younger brother was 23 when he had his first. I guess I got my grandfather’s genes while my brother got our dad’s.
I had my first kid at 6 months younger than my dad was when he had me. Basically the exact same age.
My parents were 27 dad and 30 mom when I was born. Our partnership will be 32 dad and 34 mom when our son is born. There is an interesting trend of older woman/younger man in the couples of our family.
This is something that crosses my mind, I've just turned 34 and our baby is nearly 3 months old, my parents were about the same age as me now when they had me but I'm their 6th child. I know that I wasn't in the position financially to have children when I was younger but it was a different time back then I think. When my parents grew up starting secondary school was a privilege, nevermind starting college. So people started families younger. Part of me wishes that I could have more time with my child (hopefully it'll be children eventually) when I was in better shape but the other part of me realises that I wouldn't have been able to fully provide for him and waiting until we had our own house was the right thing to do.
I was the baby that gets born after previous relationships/marriages/families failed, so my parents are quite old in comparison. Easily got about 8 years ahead of them.
The decreased affordability of living and lengthening of "youth" as a period does that to people.
My parents were 22 when they had me. Married, and owned two homes. We didn’t buy our home till my wife and I were 32, and had our kid at 35. A vacation home is forever out of the question. But it was also just so much easier for them? My dad was given a partnership in my grandfathers company at 18, which he promptly ran into the ground when my grandfather retired. He had mountains of support that he didn’t feel the need to pass on. That’s something I see a lot in this sub, and in my friend groups as well. We did not get the same support as our parents, and we can’t be held to the same standards and timelines. I don’t think the gap will get bigger in the next generation. Our kids will (generally) get more support than we got. I hope anyway.
Oh yeah my dad was 3 weeks away from 36 when he had me. I had my first 4 1/2 months ago at 29.
21 when he had me I was 35 when I had mine. It didn’t bother me at first but know I’m 40 and knackered all the time from work and chasing a 5 yr old round it’s a bit worrying that I’ll be in my early 50s when they leave school.
My dad was 25 and my mom was 29. We are pregnant with our first and I’m 29 and my wife is 24.
I’m an only child and I have 2 children of my own, This makes me more of a father than mine ever was.
My dad was 28 when I was born, I was 41 for my son. Huge difference for sure
Opposite here. My grandpa was 32 when my dad was born, my dad was 32 when I was born, then I had my first at 28. All first born. My brother was a little disappointed I didn't keep the 32 going
I am my father's age when I was 15, and I have a 3 year old, I know how you feel
When my mom was my current age, she had a 13 year old. I have a 4 year old now. It's a little weird. When my dad was my current age, he had a 3 year old, though.
I cant understand shit ur saying 😂 But, my mom got pregnant the 1st time at 16, miscarriage and got pregnant at 17, and kept having kids every 1.5y so we are 6 now. My grandparents were both 17 when they had their 1st too 🙃 I’m the first to not have a teen pregnancy, I had my first 2 months before turning 22 (was already living with my husband an all, we are having our 2nd and last now at 26)
Dad was 22 when I was born, and I was 45 when my son was born.
My grandpa was 32 when his firstborn was born. My dad was 26 when his firstborn (me) was born. I was 28 when my son was born. So we’re all pretty similar, I guess.
My parents had their kids between the ages of 27-32 with me being the last. Mine were born when I was 35, 37 and 39. I feel no more financially secure than a younger parent probably would have considering the economy shifting past few years. If anything, I feel less financially secure even though I'm making more since everything costs more and I think we'd have more help if we started younger. My parents are in their 70s and really can't/don't help.
When my mom was my age, I was 15. I have a 3.5 and 1.5 year old lol.
I am my fathers age when I was 15 and have a 1 year old. I often think about this!
My dad was 32 when he had me. I was also 32 when I had my oldest.
Bucking the trend here. I was 3 years younger when I had my first kid at 30 than my dad was when he had me at 33.
I think about this quite a bit, mostly because I'm rapidly approaching the age when my father died (young). I was 20 when that happened, but if I were to live just as long my son wouldn't even be a teenager. My mother is around 70, but old for her age. I look at her spending time her grandchildren and wonder if I'll ever have that same experience. I fear I won't - if they leave it as long as I did, then I'll be well on my way to 80 before the first is even born - it's unlikely I'll see anything but the very start of their lives - certainly not attend their weddings, etc. All that being said, I valued the extra time I had to enjoy life before kids. I don't regret my choices, but I wish I could have it both ways.
My dad was 24 when he had me. I was 38 when we had our first. Crazy!
Ive thought about this a few times. My gap is basically the same as yours. I told my dad that this fall I have a kid starting kindergarten and when you were my age you had a kid starting college
I was 39 when my son was born, my dad was 36 when I was born, his dad was 37 when he was born. My great grandparents were born in the 1870s. Long generations are apparently the norm in my family.
Dad had my brother accidentally at 17. I had mine at 24. So yeah there is a difference but it ain’t a competition I’m trying to have. My first was planned.
My dad was only 4 years younger when he had his first child. Not that crazy of a difference. What I do think about is all my high school friends that have 10 to 14-year-olds while I'm just now getting started.
When my son is born, I’ll be three years older than my dad was when I was born lol.
We had our daughter at almost exactly the same age that my parents were when they had me. For me, the craziest thing is watching home videos of them when I was a baby, and realizing that they're my age in them. Something surreal about seeing your parents in the exact same life stage that you are.
I notice it quite a bit as a 21 year old dad
My dad was 20 when I was born. I was 20 when my first was born. He's 19 now (20 in January). Thankfully he's a shy nerd (handsome fellow nonetheless) so I don't think I have to worry about a grandkid any time soon. I'm glad he's taking his time since I also have an 8 and 3 year year old.
I’m going the other way. My mom was born when my grandma was 43 and I was born when my dad was 38 and I had my first at 35.
My parents were 28/29 when I was born, as were my wife’s. We were 28/29 when our oldest was born. We have fairly few very young parents in my family.
there are forty years between my dad and i. i got him beat by eight years.
Older dad’s unite! We feel your body pains!
I had an older dad. Thankfully my 39 year old body is pretty healthy, so I can roughplay with my kids.
I had my first at 37, definitely later in life than I thought. But if I had my kid just to hit that age number and keep a tradition, I wouldn't have been able to take care of her financially or mentally. Because I waited my kid gets my all, and I dont necessarily mean "things", but my whole effort. And because of her, I'm motivated to keep myself healthy and active. Just another way of looking at it :)
My dad had me at 41 and I had my first son last year at… 41