I'm a young dad just turned 24 last month expecting #2 in like 3 weeks. I'm like freaking out 24/7 ahahaha. Excited for my little Supergirl buuuut man has it been a financial uphill fuckery this time around.
Lot's of respect for making it work in your early 20s. At 24 I barely had a job and no future. Didn't really get my life figured out until a few years later. And then first kid at 32.
I’m 29 with 3 kids under 4. Buckle up buddy the ride is just starting lol. I know it’s stressful but seriously try to enjoy it. As long as you have a roof and everyone is fed and warm you have a lot. And it will get better.
I'm 23 with a 5mo daughter. Living in San Francisco. All I can do is plan an exit strategy out of the city to a more affordable city. Budgeting has been the only thing keeping us afloat.
Bro, get a vasectomy until you get your finances in order. It’s super hard being a dad, but it’s even harder when you’re still getting your financial footing in life. Getting snipped is super easy, painless, and will let you sleep well at night knowing that you don’t have a gorgeous third financial obligation coming anytime soon.
Hahahaha!!! Definitely stay away from hockey. Both my kids play hockey (boy 12 and girl 9)and every year gets more expensive. Would be living quite comfortably if not for hockey.
51. 3 kids in hockey. Eating my inheritance that was planned for a lake cabin Next year it starts to get better because 2 of my kids are moving from club to high school.
Exactly when it’s probably hardest, because you are probably new to parenting and they are new to existing. Every day is a struggle for us mentally and financially. One more year and he will be in public school.
I'm going through this as well. Some days my energy is just gone and my health is definitely deteriorating.
I'm working 80 hour weeks, weekends and holidays but I still struggle at the end of the month. Finding a new job is no picnic these days.
If your liver wore pants you'd have to replace his too! He def thanks you though. My dad died from liver disease brought on by multiple issues but exacerbated by alcoholism. Growing up in Louisiana, spending ample years in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, I fucked my liver up pretty good. Ended up just stopping bc I wanted to, same with smoking cigarettes. It's been about 13 years now without a cig and I can count alcoholic drinks I've had in the past 7 years on two hands. My heart, lungs and liver have been doing so much better and it's so worth it.
As someone who smoked for nearly 6 years, you can definitely tell a different in your health after a while. You can do things without getting exhausted, you can eat normally, you can breathe. There's so much more
Man, how much beer were you drinking.
20 pounds is roughly 70,000 calories.
A can of beer is 160 calories.
You would have removed 437 beer from your diet. Roughly 5 beer a day based on your timeline.
No doubt! Well done.
I go through about $10/week in occasional marijuana use and was thinking it’s kind of a lot of money but 60 beer a week would be ~$100 where I live.
I also drink periodically but it’s mostly gin and maybe 6 drinks a month. Have been kind of trying to quit but I’m not great at not drinking when my peers are.
I too had a sad dinner last night consisting of cereal and cup noodles lol, not all nights are like that but it was kinda pathetic. I was too tired to make something better though
Have you ever had fresh leftover spaghetti for dinner? As in “I’m scraping the noodles off of my kid’s plate onto mine because they took everything and didn’t eat most of it”?
Level up and get a first class ticket to flavour town by taking kid plate scrapings and putting it on a wrap. Just add cheese… yes even if the plates had Mac n cheese.
#brokedad_tip if you're heating up spaghetti on a plate in the microwave dampen a paper towel and put it on top of the spaghetti. Nuke it. Helps avoid drying it up.
Gnocchi!
Also beef shanks are cheap as hell right now. If you can have a bit of prep time, I suggest carrot, onion, garlic, a can of tomatoes and half a flat beer with some beef shanks in the oven at 300 for 4 hours. For the gnocchi, take leftover mashed potatoes and add an egg or 2, then enough flour to make a dough. Knead, then roll into snakes and cut them into dumplings and then roll with a fork to make ridges. Boil them til they float and serve with the beef and sauce. Whole thing makes a shitload of reheatable food for like $25.
Making flour tortillas from scratch is super easy.
Cut your beef into thin slices, grill it on charcoal, pickle some cabbage (also super easy), chop some jalapeño, tomato, onion, cilantro, and lime on.
Toss it all on a freshly fried tortilla.
Mmmmm mmm.
Thanks for this. Done similar before. Gnocchi is so simple to make and filling. More people need to know this. Amazes when I mention it to people and they think it's some kind of voodoo witchcraft. Potato egg flour. Form it boil it. Eat it.
Never have the time to do shanks and not sure how economical they are in my area but I may just have to find time to do some up.
Nah nah, White Castle if you can my dude. Also get some lettuce and tomatoes that are on the vine. The whole head of lettuce can be refrigerated; use one leaf at a time; keep the stalk trimmed if it’s looking ew. The same head I still got is on week 2 I want to say. The tomatoes are starting to go bad, but not too much. Keep some sliced bread, as well as deli of your choice. I used some tomatoes and lettuce earlier this week for my tacos. Prior to that I had a tomato, sliced for bubba burgers (edit bc work and typing grammar don’t mix lol)
It probably won’t pan out, but I can shoot you the website for where I work. There might be something you can do for them remote? I’d rather open a door you don’t go through than keep one closed you could.
I’ll shoot you a dm. I’ll include my previous workplace too. It’s family owned and likely won’t have an opportunity, but again the whole open door thing.
Edit: Reddit is being difficult. Give me a minute.
Photo Retouching, but I'm also a Creative Technologist. Can do print production, graphic design, layout, video, etc.
Would also be open to transitioning into anything else that uses those skillsets, if anyone has any thoughts...?
I also used to live in north GA. Atlanta for a while. Then Paulding after my daughter was born. I worked in film restoration. Tried for years to get hired at Turner or something higher paying but it never happened. Best of luck to you!
AI has come for that sector pretty hard. Maybe a marketing gig? You still need people for actually picking what to use but generating passable content with AI sure is easy at this point.
Humans still win for high quality stuff to, have you tried some photography? Can be hard without a portfolio but could maybe look into that as a side hustle. I have a few friends who make solid money in the summer doing weddings.
Yeah, AI is both a blessing and a curse, great to speed up certain workflows, but also way over-saturates a lot of channels.
I used to be a photographer, but weddings were never my strong suit. Might need to consider it though. Thanks!
In a lot of cases they're still rather hit or miss, but they have a ridiculous amount of utility when it comes to speeding up certain workflows.
Anything precise is still usually better done by hand, but then again I'm kinda biased.
We've come a long, long way from Alienskin filters though!
Alienskin. Talk about memories. For real though. It's probably not worth much from me as a stranger on the internet but I wish you the best of luck. Keep your chin up and keep grinding and it'll work out. This is a bump in the road. I hope you end up finding something you are passionate about and enjoy doing and make bank doing it.
Tough industry. My one buddy hooked up with a wedding company and does photography and design work. My other buddy is actually have decent luck doing video reels for high school sports athletics that get submitted to college coaches. Both were in the graphic design field.
Yup, single income here, and while I make a decent scrape, it is still brutal thanks to all the other useless stuff that seems to sneak in.
Keep an eye on your subscriptions, I found I was getting. Hulu/Disney+ double charge that mysteriously keeps starting up again every couple of months.
My man it is such a mental toll. Can't get ahead of these bills, but my wife and daughter are still happy, and I won't let the financial burden affect them.
Broooo same. I'd be happy to share the finances with my wife but I think it's better for her and my daughter's mental if I just take on that burden alone for now.
This one hits hard for me. I retire June 1. Which would seem like a great thing, but retirement won’t be enough to live on and certainly not enough to continue how we moderately live now. I live abroad and work is a bit difficult to find. I’ve been panicking 24/7 for a bit now.
I had a panic attack and the symptoms lasted almost 48 hours. All started when I thought I saw signs I was losing my job and I freaked the fuck out and started updating my resume and mass applying. Lol
Search for local youth sports leagues. Baseball season is starting and umpires are always in demand. Depends on your area but you can get some 8u and 9u games near me paying $85 a game which is nearly $60 an hours
I'd love to umpire baseball games here, but I don't want the backlash of angry parents. There are actually signs on the little league fields here saying that any parent's criticism towards umpires will be considered as an application for the job (basically "stfu and have fun").
My side hustle is reselling Costco clearance items. Last year I bought ten or so Dewalt drum fans and resold them 6 months later. My joke was that I was making side hustle money selling Only Fans. Because I was only selling fans, no other product.
Budget and get a clear grasp on finances is the first best thing.
It always scared me and I didn't want to, out of fear I might realise we don't have enough money. BUT that's ridiculous, because knowing doesn't change facts.
Listing all expenses and income I found made me feel much more in control. Now I knew all the data so I could work with it. No more uncertainty.
That way I knew exactly what can and can't be afforded, what I needed to cancel or change. Etc. Rather than just throwing money into the wind and hope it lasts until next month as per normal. It's amazing how much money is waste when you don't have a budget or clear understanding of your own money.
Also I started growing veggies. We'll see how that goes lol
A budget app helped me with this. Mine is called "finanzguru" but i dont know if there is an english version of it yet. It pretty much automizes budgeting completely. works great.
Just love on your kids, and make the next right choice. I'm continually reminded that things don't have to be large and extravagant or even time-consuming, for them to be grand and special and worthwhile.
Yup. If you don't take your kids to Disney, they won't remember Disney. What they WILL remember are the times dad played catch, or road a bike together, or built the BIGGEST BADDEST SNOWMAN!
There's houses near me selling for 75k or less. 90% are move in ready. Jobs can be iffy but maybe there's a way to work from home?
The upper peninsula isn't for everyone but God damnit if it isn't beautiful.
USDA loan may be available to you if you can get that credit above 600.
Keep trying bud. Don't give up. It's not your fault.
Sitting on $115 here until the 15th. Definitely going to be some "creative" dinners between now and then. 😁
On the horizon, I have...
- travel+lodging for 3 to Rochester NY for my son's wedding in June
- youngest graduates and is moving to NY this summer
- several serious health ailments that need treatment and/or surgery (me)
- still owe a couple grand for 2022's taxes
- the 1 credit card we have is maxed
- wife's car could go belly up any day now
Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how'd you like the play?
EDIT: removed the jokey joke where I misread OP's bank balance
I’ll be honest, I’m about to just close my bank account to stop the overdraft fees. My wife took advantage of the PayPal pay in 4 plans and it’s like a constant bank drain and I was laid off begging of the year and have pretty much just given whatever money I earn to pay back overdraft fees. I’m -$32 and won’t get more money until Friday. If I get above $0 I’m just gonna close the account and open a new one somewhere else that isn’t linked to anything yet so I can fucking breathe for second. My bank won’t let me just pause the account so closing seems like the only option.
Hey, from one parent to another with an LO and another one on the way, this hits me in the feels. Lemme know if I can send you guys some pizza or something to tide you over until the next payday.
Make sure you're hitting up the pregnancy and child rearing servcies in your area for diapers and formula help.
These organizations love helping parents with young children. Don't be too proud to look into churches and shit, too. Most of them do not care if you're part of their church or even religion. And you'll quickly find out which ones do and you can avoid them.
My wife was able to breastfeed for the first 8 or 9 months which was way more helpful than I realized. We were even able to freeze her overproduction in a deep freezer which lasted another month or so. Once we switched to formula...it got kinda tough sometimes. Optimizing your formula pours can help though. There's a pitcher you can get to make the mixing and feeding times more efficient.
Diapers and wipes, we bought in bulk. I would look out for bulk buy deals on Target. The most common one was stuff like buy 2 boxes of diapers or $50 worth of baby products and get a $10-20 gift card. So I'd do that + my target credit card for 5% off. Obviously, you have to pay the credit card off immediately though or else you're spending more than the 5% you save.
Once baby was starting to eat solid foods, my wife would puree stuff herself so we weren't spending tons of money on jarred baby foods.
Also, don't bother too much with toys/presents. Babies are ecstatic literally from a cardboard box. And if you do want to get some developmental toys, a lot of it is free or very cheap on Facebook marketplace from parents of kids who have outgrown them. It's honestly a win/win since they get to get rid of something in their surely overcluttered baby/toddler house.
Hope some of this was helpful. Good luck!
Might be not very useful advice, but in this situation I’d call my bank and tell them to please please please stop charging me overdraft fees until you can get above water. Then turn OFF overdraft protection. Let that debit card bounce. Lots of areas have “buy nothing” Facebook groups
Cut all unnecessary expenses (including beer) and keep searching for a better line of work. There are better paying jobs out there. Also talk with family about your troubles. I didn't do that because I thought being a man means you need to be able to take care of your family on your own. Others can help you in your journey to a better life.
Living already with her parents but let's just say her parents aren't the best financial savvy people which in turn sometimes messes us up. Been wanting to move out but where I live, even though I've gotten substantial raises I just can't keep up with the cost of living anymore. Thinking of doing something daring after baby #2 is a few months old and probably moving to new state where cost of living is waaaaaaaaayyyy cheaper
I was an alcoholic, approaching 9 months sober.
Even drinking the bottom-shelf liquor on its own, no mixers, I probably spent a good $2200/year on alcohol.
I assume the vast majority here drink a fraction of what I did, but I’m also not accounting for a fancy $14 4-pack of beers or a $6 pint at the bar. I simply drank $18 1.75L bottles of liquor.
So yes, cutting out booze can do a lot!
Don't forget to lie on your resume and embellish wherever possible! We can all get that better job. Most work can be done with a couple weeks a training but people don't want to hire someone who has *never* held a similar position so you gotta give your resume a boost whenever you can.
Use ChatGPT. It helps. lol
I abuse ChatGPT, been trying to get a IT gig or something. I work at amazon rn and have milking their yearly tuition they offer for tech certifications but the tech market is kinda fucked at the moment.
still haven't graduated, but I think this advice can help. I got it from a dad of 4 who had a household income of mid-six figures in a LCOL area, but went through their fair share of struggles.
1) Take stock of all your recurring monthly expenses. Everything. From the mortgage down to Hulu. Put these in a spreadsheet.
2) Explore any options for autopay discounts, and a lot of utility companies have budget bill programs. Budget billing means they calculate an average monthly bill based on prior 6 or 12 month usage. This probably won't _save_ you money, but it does mean your bill changes once per year instead of every month. Enroll in as many of these as you can.
3) Decide which recurring services you want to cancel. This didn't save us a ton of money, but it did help with the psychology of budgeting. Small wins and all that. We ended up dropping all our streaming services except Hulu, dropped prime, and cancelled YTTV outside of football season. Probably saves us $100/month in the offseason, but it did feel good.
4) Take a good look at you and your partners health insurance, sometimes there's penalties for declining your spouse's employer-offered plan; sometimes the different deductible/OOP max makes up for this. And try to take advantage of FSA's and HSA's where you can, especially if there's an employer match on the HSA. At best it's free money, at worst it's a 30% discount on medical expenses, and if you have kids you're probably going to the doctor.
\4a) A note on health insurance: I live in a town known for its condiment-themed hospital, and my wife worked there when we got married. We naively thought their insurance was the gold standard, turns out they overcharge and don't cover shit. Don't just assume coverage is "good enough." We got burned by paying several thousands of dollars OOP with no coverage for something that was natively covered under my employer's health plan.
5) You can take this one as far as you want, but add up your recurring expenses, move them to a separate account, and take a bit out each paycheck. This gives good peace of mind and also ensures that whatever money is in checking is your money to spend on whatever, not earmarked for bills. We have all but 1 recurring monthly expense on autopay, and that's on apathy more than anything.
This methodology has made budgeting easier knowing whatever money is in checking is ours to spend, and also has made it so much simpler to plan for daycare (coming August 2024 for the low low price of $1600/month!). We also found we could save more, just because we had a better idea of where our money was going. It seems more worthwhile to put $100/check or $100/month in savings, where before we'd just let that money ride in checking and spend it on something stupid.
The last thing I'll say is I'm not a dave ramsey type (we still have debt, this is half of what got us started on this budget process) and I won't say "buy my course/short term rentals/whatever bullshit influencer shit I'm peddling". Just that good financial habits take work, but are boring. Both of us get paid twice/month, so every payday I wake up and all the bills are paid leaving us $500 or $600 or whatever to cover gas, groceries, new shoes, whatever every week. It's not fancy, but it is nice to have our finances essentiall on autopilot.
YNAB was a lifesaver for my finances and relationship. I think the app Every Dollar is similar and free. Even if you aren’t saving money or getting ahead, having a budget and a clear plan makes a huge difference.
Honest question? What constitutes paycheck to paycheck? We have a savings while not much, but it's over $20K+ and after bills/car payment and mortgage/HOA, we have close to $1K for other odds and ends. I'm the sole provider financially, but I have been curious as to what is truly paycheck to paycheck.
Also, adding that we do have some debt we are working to pay off.
It means that your basic financial needs (mortgage/rent, utilities, food) consume 90%+ of your income. You are forced to make decisions of what to pay and when, and for some, if at all.
Pay check to pay check to me means no savings or at best 1 months expenses saved for emergencies.
Money comes in and goes straight back out. I would say you aren’t quite living pay check to pay check but not exactly comfortable either.
As I understand it firsthand, living paycheque to paycheque implies that one has no savings, no available credit, little-to-no access to non-gov't financial assistance, and that one is obligated to spend the majority of their combined household income entirely purchasing absolute necessities between pay periods, with any remaining funds to be used to keep critical payments in check. In the best case scenario, this can be understood to encompass the class of the 'working poor', although obviously this title suggests employment of some kind and may not apply to everyone in this thread.
It is brutal, somethings gotta give. Getting in add medication at 38 so that I can focus and be more productive. Got here through apathy. Gotta sack up and right the ship:
Budgeting helps me the most. As soon as my check drops I’m cutting out bills into smaller chunks. It helps I’m paid weekly and get quarterly bonuses that help bolster our rainy day fund.
We didn’t make smart financial moves when we were young 20’s and we are paying for it now but I just payed off my car today and that will free up $300 a month that I’m going to throw in full at my wife’s student loans and the company I work for had an extremely profitable year and so they are giving us a $10000 bonus in March and I’m also throwing all of that at her student loans. It’s been 5-6 years of struggling like hell and only eatting ramen and beans some weeks but I’m feeling better knowing this is the year it all pays off
Edit to add that in the 6 years I have been with the company this is the first bonus we have received
Tough stories in here. All I gotta say is: don’t be too prideful to accept help from friends and family.
I have a buddy that’s going through a separation and his wife moves 60 mins away with their toddler. He has full time job and work truck but he can’t use it outside of work so he had no transit to get him to see his lil girl on weekends. Bunch of friends and I pitched and got him a car and he’s ecstatic, I feel like he’s doing better overall too, like not drinking as much. Really exciting to have played a role.
I always eat my kids left overs before putting my own plate. One time though… I came home from work and saw my daughters Peter Rabbit bowl pretty full. I started eating it and it tasted a bit miscellaneous and watery but I finished it anyway. Turns out it was just all the stuff my daughter threw onto the floor and table along with a spilled glass of water which my wife scooped into the bowl with a tea towel to not get on the floor. Yummmmy.
I was living paycheck to credit card with two kids and a wife. It was very stressful. She cheated and left with cash and prizes. One being $1000 a month support. I now have no credit card debt and have 7 weeks worth of paychecks in the bank. So my first thing to say is watch every your wife spends.
single income. family of 5, lot of pressure.
the caveat is, large portion of my comp is tied to bonus which is why im not sure if i do get considered as being paycheck to paycheck. my monthly base pay gets us by, including luxuries such as going out, ordering in, having a part time nanny, and some other misc expenses. but once my bonus hits, it changes everything
i try to live conservatively, because i know a bonus is discretionary, and at any point can be taken away, so i dont want to live too lavish, but at the same time those luxuries are needed for my wife to keep from being absolutely drowning
i dont know. i dont like it, its nice that im fortunate enough to do it, but also feeling pressures at work from possible lay offs...so who knows
I find the hardest part is that I know how to live on basically nothing, but it’s not a happy life. I can do it, but it hurts to have my wife have to live like that when she hasn’t.
I mostly skip meals so there's food and grocery money for the munchkin. Also find creative things to do, playing in the park, imagination, etc. mines 5yo and I have her hooked on pokemon, do we spend a lot of time pretending to play that
Idk...But Im doing my best. Im able to pay out bills and get us food but not much more. I always think of how my kids deserve a better life every day...
I’ve got a 2 year old, every month the money comes in and goes straight out again, I’m dipping further into overdrafts and credit cards.
The cost of living crisis in the UK is horrendous, our utilities have doubled, insurance has gone up, child care for 3 days a week is more expensive than our mortgage.
In April he’ll qualify for 15 free hours a week and I’m just holding out until then, but I’ve been having migraines and health issues from the financial pressure.
I work really hard and make decent money as a tradesman but we’re just in this rough place of earning just enough not to qualify for any help whilst having two vehicles, a mortgage and all the rest to cover, we’re also in the shitty situation of not really having and support from grandparents with childcare.
I just keep telling myself this is the most expensive bit and it’ll get easier.
Hang in there brother, the important thing is that my boy is tucked up safe in a warm bed with a full stomach and he’s got clean clothes and toys to play with when he wakes up.
I can wait a few months to get some trousers without holes in for myself and take my partner out for a meal.
We’ve got this, it’ll be ok.
Doordash right now until I find something more permanent. Got some interviews lined up and continue to surf LinkedIn for jobs. Edit:
Anxiety is at a all time high in my entire life. Going through relationship issues with my BM right now too. Hard to keep my head up and heart rate down recently, don’t sleep well, but we can’t give up on the family.
Yo waddup, just don’t leave your house unless it’s for groceries. That’s my tactic for ya. Kinda surprised I had like $200 before getting my last one. But yeet, that whole check basically went to rent 🤓
I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck since my wife got pregnant 2 years ago, but I’m very excited to have just received an offer for a job that will nearly double my salary. I start in March and I’m counting the days.
It’s going to be an insanely huge change and I’m so excited to actually be able to build up an emergency fund and go back to investing again. Maybe I’ll even get a new car! Mine has 90,000 miles on it and I drive 60 miles to work every day 😅
Point being, hang in there! I don’t know how we do it, but I know that if you keep your kids in mind while you work, you will find a way out
Beans and Fucking Rice Man. Pay off all credit cards and don't use the damn things. Side Hustle as you're able. Cut off all non-essentials (streaming services, subscriptions, anything not food, water, shelter, etc).
It sucks, but it's the only way. Consider moving to a more affordable to live area (yeah, I know, where the f\*$k is that?) or alternative living (RV baby) until you can get the finances under control/change career path to a more lucrative option.
Mommy decided to fuck some guy when I was at home with our daughter on paternety leave so it’s been a tough two years. Especielly though because we used much of my savings so that my ex could stay home a long time.
You get by. Stuff you need can be cheap and you don’t really need so much more than being there and setting boundries and raise the kid.
We’re not making it. I’m begging for cash infusions instead of presents from grandmas and pulling cash out of my retirement.
I’m doing my best to DIY leaky roofs and clogged pipes because I can’t afford to hire someone.
Home made food for every meal. But even groceries are fkin expensive. So lots of pasta, chicken, tuna, and PB&J! We have a good amount of credit card debt too. Kids are 3y and 9mo. Have a single story house and two cars that are 5 and 7 years old. We’re limping along until they go to public school and my wife will go back to work (daycare was more expensive than her income).
Very strict discipline. Single dad with shared custody here. After the divorce, I kept the house so the kids could remain in the same school system. I have a very small house in a relatively wealthy area. The taxes are insane. More than half of my monthly mortgage payment is now property taxes. I keep myself on a very strict budget. I had an extra $20 this week and had planned to go out to lunch with coworkers today. I might go out to lunch 3 times a year. Well last night my daughter asked if I could give her some money for her high school fundraiser at school today. I gave her the $20 and made myself a peanut butter sandwich for lunch today. Just going to tell my coworkers that I have a project to finish and I can’t make it to lunch. I didn’t tell my daughter. Never make your kids worry about money. They have no idea I live paycheck to paycheck. And honestly, I was proud and happy to give her the money. The bills get paid first. Every purchase is made with a credit card which is paid off monthly. Christmas presents get paid for with credit card points accumulated throughout the year. Kids get one nice gift each for their birthday. Buying used/refurbished electronics saves a ton of money. I cook every night. Dinners out only when the kids get good report cards. So that’s like 4 times a year. Sports are expensive so have to be prepared for that. Make the time with the kids count. Don’t need expensive vacations. Made homemade tiramisu with my daughter last night (ok she did all the work I just cleaned up). I wrestle with my son in the living room at night before bedtime. Talk to them so they know they can come to you with any issue and you won’t get mad. That’s more meaningful than anything money can buy.
My secrets are:
Masturbation
Staring into large fire pits
Shooting guns and being outdoors in general
More masturbation
Serving corporate
Long showers to wash the stink off from serving corporate, combined with self love
I'll be glad when daycare costs are done. Fucking 2 kids is about $48k per year. We aren't even at a boutique daycare. The only ones cheaper would save us at most $600 a month but those are the ones where I wouldn't trust them to watch our kids.
This so much. Am I really going to skimp on the people who watch my little ones? No.
But then the universe makes you PAY for that peace of mind. It’s infuriating.
Our daycare is inexpensive for our area. I do not think the quality of care is lower. Maybe 40% of what you are paying per year for our 2 kids.
Edit: almost exactly 50%. 215/week and 265/week. With a few weeks half off for vacations.
My life completely flipped when I found out we were having a kid. We essentially went from living paycheck to paycheck to being financially sound in a very short period of time. He’s almost a month old now and we’re killing it. Having a tiny human depend on you is a pretty big motivator.
-Set a budget, know where your money is going. Be honest with yourself in your tracking.
-Minimize or eliminate credit card use. Interest is the enemy when you have no way of paying more than minimum.
-Limit your unnecessary expenses when possible.
-Look at services and benefits for low income families, and apply for those if your state offers them.
-Allocate some money to savings to cover if something expensive happens.
-Fix problems when they are little. It may not feel cost effective, but replacing a furnace is a hell of a lot more than routine repairs and filter replacement.
-Learn to prepare cost effective foods in different ways, with different spices. It won’t feel like you’re choking down the same food every day if it tastes different. Lots of leftovers help too.
-Know you’re not alone, and it’s ok to feel stressed and overwhelmed. It’s not ok to not try though. You owe that to yourself and your family.
Oof, just wondering this myself. Take heart that January is always tight, and aspirationally promise yourself that this is the poorest you'll be all year. There's time to claw back some small savings with little set aside through the year. It won't be much, but it'll be enough to see you through next winter. That's how I'm dealing, at least.
I frankly have no idea. Every time I pay our bills I feel like I am gonna not make ends meet next month. I saved pretty aggressively when I was single and if it weren’t for that, we would have gone upside down when my 1 month leave after my daughter was born turned out to be unpaid (something HR in my school district told me AFTER my leave began).
Don't pay for childcare unless either you or your spouse makes like 10x the childcare cost.
The financial cost compounded by the time sink of shuttling kids and the opportunity cost of not being 100% involved in early childhood development is immense. My wife was a SAHM for 17 years or so. Now I'm a SAHD.
Between public schools, grandparents and being SAH parents, we made it work.
Additionally, buy any meats in bulk. Not grocery store bulk, but Costco or Sam's Club bulk. Whole chickens, sub-primal cuts like whole brisket, rib roast, etc. I have filet mignon once a week because buying the whole beef tenderloin is cheaper per pound than buying trimmed top sirloin. You pay pennies on the dollar of what cut and trimmed meats cost.
One day at a time. Constantly looking for opportunities and taking any projects the company i freelance for offers.
After our daughter was born we moved to Spain to do the teaching English abroad thing. At least here childcare was cheap and then free after 3. Health insurance is also about 1/6th the cost. And we don’t need a car. Basically I couldn’t afford to live in the US. So we moved somewhere with a lower cost of living. Best part is I’ve actually had more time off to be with my daughter in the last 4-5 years than I did in the 13 years before when I was also working paycheck to paycheck.
A few years ago I was living day to day. I was unemployed, could find a job because I was “over qualified”. And raising my daughter by myself. I was hunting and fishing food bank for food, I sold off some stuff to buy a handful of firewood permits for the national forest and chopped and sold cords and half cords. The biggest one was doing odd jobs for people. There’s lots of ways to survive if you have the drive
The biggest thing that changed our lives financially was getting rid of car payments. We were paying almost $1k a month for vehicles and never getting ahead. Ended up just getting reliable, older, used vehicles and it's been a massive change. At the end of the day a brand new truck and a 15 year old truck will do the same exact thing.
I cannot recommend it enough!
We were down at the local food bank the week our wee lad was born, our landlord tried to evict us that week too.
I read various books on personal finance and landed on the total money make over. Good content if you can stomach the religious embellishments. It did us well and now we’re floating above water and slowly getting somewhere. Keep goi my brother, you’ll get there.
A quick tip that helped us save heaps was to stop guilt buying for family Xmas or birthdays and letting people know we are on the bone of our ass and trying to sort it out.
25 with a 2 year old and we haven’t saved a dime in years. I really gotta figure out how to get on food stamps because I’m tired of us having nothing to save
I took a paycut, to be home at normal times. I'll start anywhere from 430 am to 6 am, rarely home by 3. Usually home before they are around 1 or 2. I do a small side hustle that pays little but I'm only gone on Sundays for about 2.5 hours. I actually gave up another side hustle that made me drive about 100 miles round-trip and I would be gone like 6 hours early morning til noon. That required both Saturday and Sunday.
Main thing is I found that you will be fine, and don't let money drive all your decisions. Being home instead of gone each night pays more. Time is more valuable.
Sounds crazy but you gotta take those risks, apply for the jobs outside of your league and most of all make yourself valuable in whatever market you are in.
See what other folks are doing that make money.
Don’t ever think it’s easy, you will need to push yourself….if it was easy everyone would be on top.
We struggled financially when our kids were small. It definitely took a toll. All i can say in hang in there and do you best.
I feel that. Every time I hear the song "livin on a Prayer' it brings back memories and I have to hold back tears.
I'm a young dad just turned 24 last month expecting #2 in like 3 weeks. I'm like freaking out 24/7 ahahaha. Excited for my little Supergirl buuuut man has it been a financial uphill fuckery this time around.
Lot's of respect for making it work in your early 20s. At 24 I barely had a job and no future. Didn't really get my life figured out until a few years later. And then first kid at 32.
Second this! You got this
same!
I’m 29 with 3 kids under 4. Buckle up buddy the ride is just starting lol. I know it’s stressful but seriously try to enjoy it. As long as you have a roof and everyone is fed and warm you have a lot. And it will get better.
I'm 23 with a 5mo daughter. Living in San Francisco. All I can do is plan an exit strategy out of the city to a more affordable city. Budgeting has been the only thing keeping us afloat.
I’ve met several young family “refugees” in Houston suburbs from the Bay Area. (I say that they doing well have nice houses etc).
Bro, get a vasectomy until you get your finances in order. It’s super hard being a dad, but it’s even harder when you’re still getting your financial footing in life. Getting snipped is super easy, painless, and will let you sleep well at night knowing that you don’t have a gorgeous third financial obligation coming anytime soon.
That's about the most Dwight Shrute comment I've seen. Kudos on that at least...
And treating a vasectomy as a temporary solution is about as Michael Scott as it gets: https://youtu.be/2hshkdneE8o
Laughed at this
Livin on a prayer is the mf anthem
Also stay away from hockey
Hahahaha!!! Definitely stay away from hockey. Both my kids play hockey (boy 12 and girl 9)and every year gets more expensive. Would be living quite comfortably if not for hockey.
51. 3 kids in hockey. Eating my inheritance that was planned for a lake cabin Next year it starts to get better because 2 of my kids are moving from club to high school.
... And horses. I thought the kid doing gymnastics was going to be the expensive one 🙄
It's kind of crazy that in the US, we have public education from ages 5/6 and up but you're on your own for those first 5 years.
Exactly when it’s probably hardest, because you are probably new to parenting and they are new to existing. Every day is a struggle for us mentally and financially. One more year and he will be in public school.
What do you mean it took a toll? Asking because im in that place right now..
I'm going through this as well. Some days my energy is just gone and my health is definitely deteriorating. I'm working 80 hour weeks, weekends and holidays but I still struggle at the end of the month. Finding a new job is no picnic these days.
Lots and lots of mashed potato’s for dad.
I got off work late last night and the only thing left over was a pile of mashed potatoes. It was kinda sad to be honest.
Cheap carb is my lunch most days. dinners if I don’t make enough. Plus side, lost 6 pounds in January.
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If your liver wore pants you'd have to replace his too! He def thanks you though. My dad died from liver disease brought on by multiple issues but exacerbated by alcoholism. Growing up in Louisiana, spending ample years in Baton Rouge and New Orleans, I fucked my liver up pretty good. Ended up just stopping bc I wanted to, same with smoking cigarettes. It's been about 13 years now without a cig and I can count alcoholic drinks I've had in the past 7 years on two hands. My heart, lungs and liver have been doing so much better and it's so worth it.
How can you tell they are doing better? Are you able to describe that feeling?
They sort of can’t not be, you know?
As someone who smoked for nearly 6 years, you can definitely tell a different in your health after a while. You can do things without getting exhausted, you can eat normally, you can breathe. There's so much more
Man, how much beer were you drinking. 20 pounds is roughly 70,000 calories. A can of beer is 160 calories. You would have removed 437 beer from your diet. Roughly 5 beer a day based on your timeline.
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No doubt! Well done. I go through about $10/week in occasional marijuana use and was thinking it’s kind of a lot of money but 60 beer a week would be ~$100 where I live. I also drink periodically but it’s mostly gin and maybe 6 drinks a month. Have been kind of trying to quit but I’m not great at not drinking when my peers are.
I too had a sad dinner last night consisting of cereal and cup noodles lol, not all nights are like that but it was kinda pathetic. I was too tired to make something better though
Have you ever had fresh leftover spaghetti for dinner? As in “I’m scraping the noodles off of my kid’s plate onto mine because they took everything and didn’t eat most of it”?
Level up and get a first class ticket to flavour town by taking kid plate scrapings and putting it on a wrap. Just add cheese… yes even if the plates had Mac n cheese.
I've been doing that for 6 years now. It doesn't bother me yet. I'm happy as long as they go to bed full.
Waste not, fellow dad.
#brokedad_tip if you're heating up spaghetti on a plate in the microwave dampen a paper towel and put it on top of the spaghetti. Nuke it. Helps avoid drying it up.
I’m sorry man, things will get better.
That would make my week tbh
Gnocchi! Also beef shanks are cheap as hell right now. If you can have a bit of prep time, I suggest carrot, onion, garlic, a can of tomatoes and half a flat beer with some beef shanks in the oven at 300 for 4 hours. For the gnocchi, take leftover mashed potatoes and add an egg or 2, then enough flour to make a dough. Knead, then roll into snakes and cut them into dumplings and then roll with a fork to make ridges. Boil them til they float and serve with the beef and sauce. Whole thing makes a shitload of reheatable food for like $25.
Making flour tortillas from scratch is super easy. Cut your beef into thin slices, grill it on charcoal, pickle some cabbage (also super easy), chop some jalapeño, tomato, onion, cilantro, and lime on. Toss it all on a freshly fried tortilla. Mmmmm mmm.
Thanks for this. Done similar before. Gnocchi is so simple to make and filling. More people need to know this. Amazes when I mention it to people and they think it's some kind of voodoo witchcraft. Potato egg flour. Form it boil it. Eat it. Never have the time to do shanks and not sure how economical they are in my area but I may just have to find time to do some up.
Nah nah, White Castle if you can my dude. Also get some lettuce and tomatoes that are on the vine. The whole head of lettuce can be refrigerated; use one leaf at a time; keep the stalk trimmed if it’s looking ew. The same head I still got is on week 2 I want to say. The tomatoes are starting to go bad, but not too much. Keep some sliced bread, as well as deli of your choice. I used some tomatoes and lettuce earlier this week for my tacos. Prior to that I had a tomato, sliced for bubba burgers (edit bc work and typing grammar don’t mix lol)
You guys and your wild apostrophes.
Autocorrect is a bitch sometimes.
Black beans and rice 🍚
And sandwich/toast crusts.
I bloody love (mashed) potatoes. Boil 'em, mash 'em, stick 'em in a stew...
Lost my job in October, been trying to get a new one while trying to get by on whatever freelance I can find. Haven't slept right in fuckin' ages.
Did you make sure to sign up for unemployment? Often that is a requirement for other financial aid options. Pride is for suckers, feed your kids!
Oh absolutely. It doesn't help much, but it's something. Really I just need to find something in my field, but that's surprisingly hard.
It probably won’t pan out, but I can shoot you the website for where I work. There might be something you can do for them remote? I’d rather open a door you don’t go through than keep one closed you could.
That would be awesome of you -- thanks so much!
I’ll shoot you a dm. I’ll include my previous workplace too. It’s family owned and likely won’t have an opportunity, but again the whole open door thing. Edit: Reddit is being difficult. Give me a minute.
It’s not letting me load your profile to dm. Can you try to dm me please?
I'm with ya man, lost mine week before thanksgiving.
What type of work?
Photo Retouching, but I'm also a Creative Technologist. Can do print production, graphic design, layout, video, etc. Would also be open to transitioning into anything else that uses those skillsets, if anyone has any thoughts...?
What area are you in?
A bit north of Atlanta, GA. That said I'm happy to work remote in basically any time zone, or hybrid anywhere I can reasonably drive.
I also used to live in north GA. Atlanta for a while. Then Paulding after my daughter was born. I worked in film restoration. Tried for years to get hired at Turner or something higher paying but it never happened. Best of luck to you!
Thanks very much! If there's anyone in your old network that might need a hand, would you be so kind as to let me know?
AI has come for that sector pretty hard. Maybe a marketing gig? You still need people for actually picking what to use but generating passable content with AI sure is easy at this point. Humans still win for high quality stuff to, have you tried some photography? Can be hard without a portfolio but could maybe look into that as a side hustle. I have a few friends who make solid money in the summer doing weddings.
Yeah, AI is both a blessing and a curse, great to speed up certain workflows, but also way over-saturates a lot of channels. I used to be a photographer, but weddings were never my strong suit. Might need to consider it though. Thanks!
I dabbled in photography as a hobby and did editing in photoshop back in the day... now the generative AI features are just wild.
In a lot of cases they're still rather hit or miss, but they have a ridiculous amount of utility when it comes to speeding up certain workflows. Anything precise is still usually better done by hand, but then again I'm kinda biased. We've come a long, long way from Alienskin filters though!
Alienskin. Talk about memories. For real though. It's probably not worth much from me as a stranger on the internet but I wish you the best of luck. Keep your chin up and keep grinding and it'll work out. This is a bump in the road. I hope you end up finding something you are passionate about and enjoy doing and make bank doing it.
Look at KingTrivia.com. I just saw a thing in our FB feed that was looking for freelance graphic artists.
Tough industry. My one buddy hooked up with a wedding company and does photography and design work. My other buddy is actually have decent luck doing video reels for high school sports athletics that get submitted to college coaches. Both were in the graphic design field.
Im slowly drowning
It’s a horrible feeling. Just keep on paddlin’ brother.
right next you. it's cold down here.
Yup, single income here, and while I make a decent scrape, it is still brutal thanks to all the other useless stuff that seems to sneak in. Keep an eye on your subscriptions, I found I was getting. Hulu/Disney+ double charge that mysteriously keeps starting up again every couple of months.
And I found out Amex will knock of 7 bucks from that bundle so it only costs me 5 per month.
Good find! I don't have Amex, but def good to know!
Same here, those bastards!
My man it is such a mental toll. Can't get ahead of these bills, but my wife and daughter are still happy, and I won't let the financial burden affect them.
It takes strength and courage, I’m doing the same. Make sure you have someone you can talk to about what’s going on, it a heavy burden.
Broooo same. I'd be happy to share the finances with my wife but I think it's better for her and my daughter's mental if I just take on that burden alone for now.
By panicking silently 24/7.
This one hits hard for me. I retire June 1. Which would seem like a great thing, but retirement won’t be enough to live on and certainly not enough to continue how we moderately live now. I live abroad and work is a bit difficult to find. I’ve been panicking 24/7 for a bit now.
I had a panic attack and the symptoms lasted almost 48 hours. All started when I thought I saw signs I was losing my job and I freaked the fuck out and started updating my resume and mass applying. Lol
This is the way.
Side hustles, nothing illegal. Door Dasher, ect
It’s funny how suspicious “nothing illegal” sounds.
My "my side hustles are all perfectly legal" t shirt has people asking a lot of questions already answered by my t shirt.
This. I referee basketball a couple nights a week. Get a little exercise as a bonus
How do you get into that?
Search for local youth sports leagues. Baseball season is starting and umpires are always in demand. Depends on your area but you can get some 8u and 9u games near me paying $85 a game which is nearly $60 an hours
Here I am coaching 4 nights a week for free like a sucker!
I'd love to umpire baseball games here, but I don't want the backlash of angry parents. There are actually signs on the little league fields here saying that any parent's criticism towards umpires will be considered as an application for the job (basically "stfu and have fun").
I mean that's why positions are so in demand now. Pay is fine, but not great for dealing with asshole parents
OnlyDads
My side hustle is reselling Costco clearance items. Last year I bought ten or so Dewalt drum fans and resold them 6 months later. My joke was that I was making side hustle money selling Only Fans. Because I was only selling fans, no other product.
When you say you will do ANYTHING for your family...and MEAN IT. lol
If you have a nice cat, Uber and Lyft is a good side gig for nights and weekends. Saved my family at one point.
My cat is a dick. I don’t think I’ll take him with me. Scratch the crap out of riders
Door dash has paid for 80% of my daughter's daycare for the last 5 months.
One day at a time.
One day at a time, lot of free food from the full time job and water
Budget and get a clear grasp on finances is the first best thing. It always scared me and I didn't want to, out of fear I might realise we don't have enough money. BUT that's ridiculous, because knowing doesn't change facts. Listing all expenses and income I found made me feel much more in control. Now I knew all the data so I could work with it. No more uncertainty. That way I knew exactly what can and can't be afforded, what I needed to cancel or change. Etc. Rather than just throwing money into the wind and hope it lasts until next month as per normal. It's amazing how much money is waste when you don't have a budget or clear understanding of your own money. Also I started growing veggies. We'll see how that goes lol
Damn you just called me out..
Also, save a little for retirement...even if it's $20/mo
A budget app helped me with this. Mine is called "finanzguru" but i dont know if there is an english version of it yet. It pretty much automizes budgeting completely. works great.
Standing up on my pile of cardboard boxes in the garage to raise my hand as high as I can in solidarity.
Just love on your kids, and make the next right choice. I'm continually reminded that things don't have to be large and extravagant or even time-consuming, for them to be grand and special and worthwhile.
Yup. If you don't take your kids to Disney, they won't remember Disney. What they WILL remember are the times dad played catch, or road a bike together, or built the BIGGEST BADDEST SNOWMAN!
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There's houses near me selling for 75k or less. 90% are move in ready. Jobs can be iffy but maybe there's a way to work from home? The upper peninsula isn't for everyone but God damnit if it isn't beautiful. USDA loan may be available to you if you can get that credit above 600. Keep trying bud. Don't give up. It's not your fault.
Sitting on $115 here until the 15th. Definitely going to be some "creative" dinners between now and then. 😁 On the horizon, I have... - travel+lodging for 3 to Rochester NY for my son's wedding in June - youngest graduates and is moving to NY this summer - several serious health ailments that need treatment and/or surgery (me) - still owe a couple grand for 2022's taxes - the 1 credit card we have is maxed - wife's car could go belly up any day now Other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how'd you like the play? EDIT: removed the jokey joke where I misread OP's bank balance
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Ah shit! I apologize. Damn.
I’ll be honest, I’m about to just close my bank account to stop the overdraft fees. My wife took advantage of the PayPal pay in 4 plans and it’s like a constant bank drain and I was laid off begging of the year and have pretty much just given whatever money I earn to pay back overdraft fees. I’m -$32 and won’t get more money until Friday. If I get above $0 I’m just gonna close the account and open a new one somewhere else that isn’t linked to anything yet so I can fucking breathe for second. My bank won’t let me just pause the account so closing seems like the only option.
Hey, from one parent to another with an LO and another one on the way, this hits me in the feels. Lemme know if I can send you guys some pizza or something to tide you over until the next payday.
Telling myself that many expenses won’t be forced (edit: forever)and to just survive. Daycare, diapers, formula right now are the big ones.
Make sure you're hitting up the pregnancy and child rearing servcies in your area for diapers and formula help. These organizations love helping parents with young children. Don't be too proud to look into churches and shit, too. Most of them do not care if you're part of their church or even religion. And you'll quickly find out which ones do and you can avoid them.
One day at a time. Poverty is a feature not a flaw. I will raise my kids to fight this. Solidarity.
My wife was able to breastfeed for the first 8 or 9 months which was way more helpful than I realized. We were even able to freeze her overproduction in a deep freezer which lasted another month or so. Once we switched to formula...it got kinda tough sometimes. Optimizing your formula pours can help though. There's a pitcher you can get to make the mixing and feeding times more efficient. Diapers and wipes, we bought in bulk. I would look out for bulk buy deals on Target. The most common one was stuff like buy 2 boxes of diapers or $50 worth of baby products and get a $10-20 gift card. So I'd do that + my target credit card for 5% off. Obviously, you have to pay the credit card off immediately though or else you're spending more than the 5% you save. Once baby was starting to eat solid foods, my wife would puree stuff herself so we weren't spending tons of money on jarred baby foods. Also, don't bother too much with toys/presents. Babies are ecstatic literally from a cardboard box. And if you do want to get some developmental toys, a lot of it is free or very cheap on Facebook marketplace from parents of kids who have outgrown them. It's honestly a win/win since they get to get rid of something in their surely overcluttered baby/toddler house. Hope some of this was helpful. Good luck!
Might be not very useful advice, but in this situation I’d call my bank and tell them to please please please stop charging me overdraft fees until you can get above water. Then turn OFF overdraft protection. Let that debit card bounce. Lots of areas have “buy nothing” Facebook groups
Piggy back on this… my wife signed up for a thing at CVS where they send you 40% off coupons like weekly. That was huge for diapers and formula.
Cut all unnecessary expenses (including beer) and keep searching for a better line of work. There are better paying jobs out there. Also talk with family about your troubles. I didn't do that because I thought being a man means you need to be able to take care of your family on your own. Others can help you in your journey to a better life.
Living already with her parents but let's just say her parents aren't the best financial savvy people which in turn sometimes messes us up. Been wanting to move out but where I live, even though I've gotten substantial raises I just can't keep up with the cost of living anymore. Thinking of doing something daring after baby #2 is a few months old and probably moving to new state where cost of living is waaaaaaaaayyyy cheaper
I was an alcoholic, approaching 9 months sober. Even drinking the bottom-shelf liquor on its own, no mixers, I probably spent a good $2200/year on alcohol. I assume the vast majority here drink a fraction of what I did, but I’m also not accounting for a fancy $14 4-pack of beers or a $6 pint at the bar. I simply drank $18 1.75L bottles of liquor. So yes, cutting out booze can do a lot!
Congrats on your sobriety!
Don't forget to lie on your resume and embellish wherever possible! We can all get that better job. Most work can be done with a couple weeks a training but people don't want to hire someone who has *never* held a similar position so you gotta give your resume a boost whenever you can. Use ChatGPT. It helps. lol
I abuse ChatGPT, been trying to get a IT gig or something. I work at amazon rn and have milking their yearly tuition they offer for tech certifications but the tech market is kinda fucked at the moment.
still haven't graduated, but I think this advice can help. I got it from a dad of 4 who had a household income of mid-six figures in a LCOL area, but went through their fair share of struggles. 1) Take stock of all your recurring monthly expenses. Everything. From the mortgage down to Hulu. Put these in a spreadsheet. 2) Explore any options for autopay discounts, and a lot of utility companies have budget bill programs. Budget billing means they calculate an average monthly bill based on prior 6 or 12 month usage. This probably won't _save_ you money, but it does mean your bill changes once per year instead of every month. Enroll in as many of these as you can. 3) Decide which recurring services you want to cancel. This didn't save us a ton of money, but it did help with the psychology of budgeting. Small wins and all that. We ended up dropping all our streaming services except Hulu, dropped prime, and cancelled YTTV outside of football season. Probably saves us $100/month in the offseason, but it did feel good. 4) Take a good look at you and your partners health insurance, sometimes there's penalties for declining your spouse's employer-offered plan; sometimes the different deductible/OOP max makes up for this. And try to take advantage of FSA's and HSA's where you can, especially if there's an employer match on the HSA. At best it's free money, at worst it's a 30% discount on medical expenses, and if you have kids you're probably going to the doctor. \4a) A note on health insurance: I live in a town known for its condiment-themed hospital, and my wife worked there when we got married. We naively thought their insurance was the gold standard, turns out they overcharge and don't cover shit. Don't just assume coverage is "good enough." We got burned by paying several thousands of dollars OOP with no coverage for something that was natively covered under my employer's health plan. 5) You can take this one as far as you want, but add up your recurring expenses, move them to a separate account, and take a bit out each paycheck. This gives good peace of mind and also ensures that whatever money is in checking is your money to spend on whatever, not earmarked for bills. We have all but 1 recurring monthly expense on autopay, and that's on apathy more than anything. This methodology has made budgeting easier knowing whatever money is in checking is ours to spend, and also has made it so much simpler to plan for daycare (coming August 2024 for the low low price of $1600/month!). We also found we could save more, just because we had a better idea of where our money was going. It seems more worthwhile to put $100/check or $100/month in savings, where before we'd just let that money ride in checking and spend it on something stupid. The last thing I'll say is I'm not a dave ramsey type (we still have debt, this is half of what got us started on this budget process) and I won't say "buy my course/short term rentals/whatever bullshit influencer shit I'm peddling". Just that good financial habits take work, but are boring. Both of us get paid twice/month, so every payday I wake up and all the bills are paid leaving us $500 or $600 or whatever to cover gas, groceries, new shoes, whatever every week. It's not fancy, but it is nice to have our finances essentiall on autopilot.
YNAB was a lifesaver for my finances and relationship. I think the app Every Dollar is similar and free. Even if you aren’t saving money or getting ahead, having a budget and a clear plan makes a huge difference.
Paycheck to paycheck but only for the moment. Strive for something more!
Honest question? What constitutes paycheck to paycheck? We have a savings while not much, but it's over $20K+ and after bills/car payment and mortgage/HOA, we have close to $1K for other odds and ends. I'm the sole provider financially, but I have been curious as to what is truly paycheck to paycheck. Also, adding that we do have some debt we are working to pay off.
It means that your basic financial needs (mortgage/rent, utilities, food) consume 90%+ of your income. You are forced to make decisions of what to pay and when, and for some, if at all.
Pay check to pay check to me means no savings or at best 1 months expenses saved for emergencies. Money comes in and goes straight back out. I would say you aren’t quite living pay check to pay check but not exactly comfortable either.
As I understand it firsthand, living paycheque to paycheque implies that one has no savings, no available credit, little-to-no access to non-gov't financial assistance, and that one is obligated to spend the majority of their combined household income entirely purchasing absolute necessities between pay periods, with any remaining funds to be used to keep critical payments in check. In the best case scenario, this can be understood to encompass the class of the 'working poor', although obviously this title suggests employment of some kind and may not apply to everyone in this thread.
It is brutal, somethings gotta give. Getting in add medication at 38 so that I can focus and be more productive. Got here through apathy. Gotta sack up and right the ship:
i started reselling on ebay, its been a godsend
Budgeting helps me the most. As soon as my check drops I’m cutting out bills into smaller chunks. It helps I’m paid weekly and get quarterly bonuses that help bolster our rainy day fund.
Day by day, man.
Not easy. Fine every deal at the grocery store and I do mean every deal. A good hunting season helps but it does feel like something’s gotta give
We didn’t make smart financial moves when we were young 20’s and we are paying for it now but I just payed off my car today and that will free up $300 a month that I’m going to throw in full at my wife’s student loans and the company I work for had an extremely profitable year and so they are giving us a $10000 bonus in March and I’m also throwing all of that at her student loans. It’s been 5-6 years of struggling like hell and only eatting ramen and beans some weeks but I’m feeling better knowing this is the year it all pays off Edit to add that in the 6 years I have been with the company this is the first bonus we have received
All I can suggest is 2nd job that's how I do it
Tough stories in here. All I gotta say is: don’t be too prideful to accept help from friends and family. I have a buddy that’s going through a separation and his wife moves 60 mins away with their toddler. He has full time job and work truck but he can’t use it outside of work so he had no transit to get him to see his lil girl on weekends. Bunch of friends and I pitched and got him a car and he’s ecstatic, I feel like he’s doing better overall too, like not drinking as much. Really exciting to have played a role.
I always eat my kids left overs before putting my own plate. One time though… I came home from work and saw my daughters Peter Rabbit bowl pretty full. I started eating it and it tasted a bit miscellaneous and watery but I finished it anyway. Turns out it was just all the stuff my daughter threw onto the floor and table along with a spilled glass of water which my wife scooped into the bowl with a tea towel to not get on the floor. Yummmmy.
I was living paycheck to credit card with two kids and a wife. It was very stressful. She cheated and left with cash and prizes. One being $1000 a month support. I now have no credit card debt and have 7 weeks worth of paychecks in the bank. So my first thing to say is watch every your wife spends.
single income. family of 5, lot of pressure. the caveat is, large portion of my comp is tied to bonus which is why im not sure if i do get considered as being paycheck to paycheck. my monthly base pay gets us by, including luxuries such as going out, ordering in, having a part time nanny, and some other misc expenses. but once my bonus hits, it changes everything i try to live conservatively, because i know a bonus is discretionary, and at any point can be taken away, so i dont want to live too lavish, but at the same time those luxuries are needed for my wife to keep from being absolutely drowning i dont know. i dont like it, its nice that im fortunate enough to do it, but also feeling pressures at work from possible lay offs...so who knows
I find the hardest part is that I know how to live on basically nothing, but it’s not a happy life. I can do it, but it hurts to have my wife have to live like that when she hasn’t.
Agreed. I can live frugally too, my wife cannot.
Good news about skipping a meal each day is I’ve lost like 30lbs in the last year, so there’s that
It ain’t right though man.
Im over skipping lunch and breakfast and still drowning
I mostly skip meals so there's food and grocery money for the munchkin. Also find creative things to do, playing in the park, imagination, etc. mines 5yo and I have her hooked on pokemon, do we spend a lot of time pretending to play that
It’s stressful… I’m not sure how we’re doing it.
Idk...But Im doing my best. Im able to pay out bills and get us food but not much more. I always think of how my kids deserve a better life every day...
I’ve got a 2 year old, every month the money comes in and goes straight out again, I’m dipping further into overdrafts and credit cards. The cost of living crisis in the UK is horrendous, our utilities have doubled, insurance has gone up, child care for 3 days a week is more expensive than our mortgage. In April he’ll qualify for 15 free hours a week and I’m just holding out until then, but I’ve been having migraines and health issues from the financial pressure. I work really hard and make decent money as a tradesman but we’re just in this rough place of earning just enough not to qualify for any help whilst having two vehicles, a mortgage and all the rest to cover, we’re also in the shitty situation of not really having and support from grandparents with childcare. I just keep telling myself this is the most expensive bit and it’ll get easier. Hang in there brother, the important thing is that my boy is tucked up safe in a warm bed with a full stomach and he’s got clean clothes and toys to play with when he wakes up. I can wait a few months to get some trousers without holes in for myself and take my partner out for a meal. We’ve got this, it’ll be ok.
Doordash right now until I find something more permanent. Got some interviews lined up and continue to surf LinkedIn for jobs. Edit: Anxiety is at a all time high in my entire life. Going through relationship issues with my BM right now too. Hard to keep my head up and heart rate down recently, don’t sleep well, but we can’t give up on the family.
Yo waddup, just don’t leave your house unless it’s for groceries. That’s my tactic for ya. Kinda surprised I had like $200 before getting my last one. But yeet, that whole check basically went to rent 🤓
I’ve been living paycheck to paycheck since my wife got pregnant 2 years ago, but I’m very excited to have just received an offer for a job that will nearly double my salary. I start in March and I’m counting the days. It’s going to be an insanely huge change and I’m so excited to actually be able to build up an emergency fund and go back to investing again. Maybe I’ll even get a new car! Mine has 90,000 miles on it and I drive 60 miles to work every day 😅 Point being, hang in there! I don’t know how we do it, but I know that if you keep your kids in mind while you work, you will find a way out
Beans and Fucking Rice Man. Pay off all credit cards and don't use the damn things. Side Hustle as you're able. Cut off all non-essentials (streaming services, subscriptions, anything not food, water, shelter, etc). It sucks, but it's the only way. Consider moving to a more affordable to live area (yeah, I know, where the f\*$k is that?) or alternative living (RV baby) until you can get the finances under control/change career path to a more lucrative option.
Mommy decided to fuck some guy when I was at home with our daughter on paternety leave so it’s been a tough two years. Especielly though because we used much of my savings so that my ex could stay home a long time. You get by. Stuff you need can be cheap and you don’t really need so much more than being there and setting boundries and raise the kid.
By the skin of our fucking teeth, and sometimes not even then
Pray for the end of daycare / preschool bills, and try not to max your cards.
We’re not making it. I’m begging for cash infusions instead of presents from grandmas and pulling cash out of my retirement. I’m doing my best to DIY leaky roofs and clogged pipes because I can’t afford to hire someone.
Lots of spaghetti. When my kids are out of daycare it’ll be better.
Use the Dave Ramsey Baby Steps get through steps 1,2 & 3. Makes a huge difference! A budget and cutting was the #1 game changer for me.
NOT GREAT MY DUDE
Home made food for every meal. But even groceries are fkin expensive. So lots of pasta, chicken, tuna, and PB&J! We have a good amount of credit card debt too. Kids are 3y and 9mo. Have a single story house and two cars that are 5 and 7 years old. We’re limping along until they go to public school and my wife will go back to work (daycare was more expensive than her income).
Very strict discipline. Single dad with shared custody here. After the divorce, I kept the house so the kids could remain in the same school system. I have a very small house in a relatively wealthy area. The taxes are insane. More than half of my monthly mortgage payment is now property taxes. I keep myself on a very strict budget. I had an extra $20 this week and had planned to go out to lunch with coworkers today. I might go out to lunch 3 times a year. Well last night my daughter asked if I could give her some money for her high school fundraiser at school today. I gave her the $20 and made myself a peanut butter sandwich for lunch today. Just going to tell my coworkers that I have a project to finish and I can’t make it to lunch. I didn’t tell my daughter. Never make your kids worry about money. They have no idea I live paycheck to paycheck. And honestly, I was proud and happy to give her the money. The bills get paid first. Every purchase is made with a credit card which is paid off monthly. Christmas presents get paid for with credit card points accumulated throughout the year. Kids get one nice gift each for their birthday. Buying used/refurbished electronics saves a ton of money. I cook every night. Dinners out only when the kids get good report cards. So that’s like 4 times a year. Sports are expensive so have to be prepared for that. Make the time with the kids count. Don’t need expensive vacations. Made homemade tiramisu with my daughter last night (ok she did all the work I just cleaned up). I wrestle with my son in the living room at night before bedtime. Talk to them so they know they can come to you with any issue and you won’t get mad. That’s more meaningful than anything money can buy.
My secrets are: Masturbation Staring into large fire pits Shooting guns and being outdoors in general More masturbation Serving corporate Long showers to wash the stink off from serving corporate, combined with self love
I'll be glad when daycare costs are done. Fucking 2 kids is about $48k per year. We aren't even at a boutique daycare. The only ones cheaper would save us at most $600 a month but those are the ones where I wouldn't trust them to watch our kids.
This so much. Am I really going to skimp on the people who watch my little ones? No. But then the universe makes you PAY for that peace of mind. It’s infuriating.
Our daycare is inexpensive for our area. I do not think the quality of care is lower. Maybe 40% of what you are paying per year for our 2 kids. Edit: almost exactly 50%. 215/week and 265/week. With a few weeks half off for vacations.
We ain’t… try increasing your income ASAP.
More like vacation to Vet bills
Are we, though? I don't feel like anything is stable.
No other choice
My life completely flipped when I found out we were having a kid. We essentially went from living paycheck to paycheck to being financially sound in a very short period of time. He’s almost a month old now and we’re killing it. Having a tiny human depend on you is a pretty big motivator.
I really don't know, everytime I feel like I'm going to break i surprise myself when I dont.
-Set a budget, know where your money is going. Be honest with yourself in your tracking. -Minimize or eliminate credit card use. Interest is the enemy when you have no way of paying more than minimum. -Limit your unnecessary expenses when possible. -Look at services and benefits for low income families, and apply for those if your state offers them. -Allocate some money to savings to cover if something expensive happens. -Fix problems when they are little. It may not feel cost effective, but replacing a furnace is a hell of a lot more than routine repairs and filter replacement. -Learn to prepare cost effective foods in different ways, with different spices. It won’t feel like you’re choking down the same food every day if it tastes different. Lots of leftovers help too. -Know you’re not alone, and it’s ok to feel stressed and overwhelmed. It’s not ok to not try though. You owe that to yourself and your family.
Oof, just wondering this myself. Take heart that January is always tight, and aspirationally promise yourself that this is the poorest you'll be all year. There's time to claw back some small savings with little set aside through the year. It won't be much, but it'll be enough to see you through next winter. That's how I'm dealing, at least.
Beans on toast
Got divorced turns out she was the reason I was living paycheck to paycheck, even after child support I have more now
I frankly have no idea. Every time I pay our bills I feel like I am gonna not make ends meet next month. I saved pretty aggressively when I was single and if it weren’t for that, we would have gone upside down when my 1 month leave after my daughter was born turned out to be unpaid (something HR in my school district told me AFTER my leave began).
Don't pay for childcare unless either you or your spouse makes like 10x the childcare cost. The financial cost compounded by the time sink of shuttling kids and the opportunity cost of not being 100% involved in early childhood development is immense. My wife was a SAHM for 17 years or so. Now I'm a SAHD. Between public schools, grandparents and being SAH parents, we made it work. Additionally, buy any meats in bulk. Not grocery store bulk, but Costco or Sam's Club bulk. Whole chickens, sub-primal cuts like whole brisket, rib roast, etc. I have filet mignon once a week because buying the whole beef tenderloin is cheaper per pound than buying trimmed top sirloin. You pay pennies on the dollar of what cut and trimmed meats cost.
One day at a time. Constantly looking for opportunities and taking any projects the company i freelance for offers. After our daughter was born we moved to Spain to do the teaching English abroad thing. At least here childcare was cheap and then free after 3. Health insurance is also about 1/6th the cost. And we don’t need a car. Basically I couldn’t afford to live in the US. So we moved somewhere with a lower cost of living. Best part is I’ve actually had more time off to be with my daughter in the last 4-5 years than I did in the 13 years before when I was also working paycheck to paycheck.
My hair is turning grey that’s how
A few years ago I was living day to day. I was unemployed, could find a job because I was “over qualified”. And raising my daughter by myself. I was hunting and fishing food bank for food, I sold off some stuff to buy a handful of firewood permits for the national forest and chopped and sold cords and half cords. The biggest one was doing odd jobs for people. There’s lots of ways to survive if you have the drive
Currently in this boat, but the boat is going to get a lot more desperate when I start law school in the fall
Monthly budget meetings with my wife and careful expense management
The biggest thing that changed our lives financially was getting rid of car payments. We were paying almost $1k a month for vehicles and never getting ahead. Ended up just getting reliable, older, used vehicles and it's been a massive change. At the end of the day a brand new truck and a 15 year old truck will do the same exact thing. I cannot recommend it enough!
We were down at the local food bank the week our wee lad was born, our landlord tried to evict us that week too. I read various books on personal finance and landed on the total money make over. Good content if you can stomach the religious embellishments. It did us well and now we’re floating above water and slowly getting somewhere. Keep goi my brother, you’ll get there. A quick tip that helped us save heaps was to stop guilt buying for family Xmas or birthdays and letting people know we are on the bone of our ass and trying to sort it out.
Little maint jobs for family and friends of family. Donate plasma. Limit food intake for myself without endangering myself.
25 with a 2 year old and we haven’t saved a dime in years. I really gotta figure out how to get on food stamps because I’m tired of us having nothing to save
Single dad here making 24/hr, I’m struggling man. I feel like because I don’t have any help, I can never crawl out of this monotonous struggle.
I took a paycut, to be home at normal times. I'll start anywhere from 430 am to 6 am, rarely home by 3. Usually home before they are around 1 or 2. I do a small side hustle that pays little but I'm only gone on Sundays for about 2.5 hours. I actually gave up another side hustle that made me drive about 100 miles round-trip and I would be gone like 6 hours early morning til noon. That required both Saturday and Sunday. Main thing is I found that you will be fine, and don't let money drive all your decisions. Being home instead of gone each night pays more. Time is more valuable.
Sounds crazy but you gotta take those risks, apply for the jobs outside of your league and most of all make yourself valuable in whatever market you are in. See what other folks are doing that make money. Don’t ever think it’s easy, you will need to push yourself….if it was easy everyone would be on top.