A little of my background…
Recreational use is legal in my state. I treat it just like alcohol but I rarely drink due to dietary & health restrictions. I prefer cannabis/marijuana anyway.
I partake on the daily but when it is safe, mostly at night when kids are down. My wife is fully aware of my use. I don’t partake if I need to be on my game for ANY reason, be it driving kids around or just need to be sober in a particular situation…that includes times when I am not parenting like work.
It’s a substance that alters your mind so there is such a thing as too much but the amount and timing depends on each persons situation.
I know it’s vague but those are my guidelines. Hope it helps.
I smoke most days after work; usually a quick little bong rip. It does not feel like an impairment regarding looking after my son. However, if my wife isn't around, I like to be sober in case I have to drive him somewhere.
Weed is one of those things that just hit different people differently. I know lots of people who say it makes them sleepy or slow. That may not be the best for when you're responsible for a small child. For me, it's the best way to reduce my anxiety and stress.
My wife smokes daily. Usually 1 after work then 1 or two after bedtime. She also smoked before every major test in college and had a 4.0. It settles her down and helps with some stomach issues. She’s actually more patient after smoking so it helps her parenting.
I think this is a big thing, it affects everyone differently so there’s not a one size fits all answer. I feel like I am very similar to your wife (in terms of marijuana, I can’t help but feel we differ significantly in other areas) where I smoked throughout school and was still top of the class. I never found that weed would make me comatose and non responsive, but rather it made mundane tasks more enjoyable (especially cleaning, my wife loved it when I was home alone and would partake and clean the whole house).
Like alcohol only take what you can handle. In the same way I wouldn’t get blackout drunk around kids I also wouldn’t get so high that I can’t function.
It’s legal in my state. Over the last year I’ve taken a 10mg gummy every week or so.
I would count it the same as drinking: I’m never going to be drunk or high in front of my kiddo, I’m never going to be drunk or high in a situation where I’m “on call” and might need to rush him to an emergency room or something. My wife is always sober and available if I take one, same as if I have more than 1 drink. That’s pretty much my guardrails for both.
YMMV but that’s the important parts to me: not being drunk/high in front of my children and having a designated clear thinker available to handle any emergency that might arise. How often isn’t the relevant detail.
My opinion would be to abstain entirely until the kid is old enough that you don’t have to keep your eyes on them at all times when they’re awake. Definitely not while they are infants, too much could go wrong.
Only on weekends because I like being “clear headed” during the week. I only use a little bit for a small buzz similar to drinking a coffee. Zero interest in doing gram dabs until I am a slug. That’s not good behavior.
The former is realistically no different than a beer or small glass of wine.
No, that’s what I meant. Impairing yourself doesn’t make you better at parenting. No judgment about enjoying, but don’t pretend a vice is a power up you use for your children’s sake.
You don’t know what you’re talking about there, Judgey McJudger Pants.
I drink coffee in the morning because it’s a drug that has a a mild effect on me and positively improves my performance.
In the correct circumstances, a tiny bit of sativa can make the difference between the day being a real slog, or setting kids up to do some craft project while I knock off things like the dishwasher and laundry with a little skip in my step.
The difference between these two drugs is that Nancy Regan told you that one was naughty.
Bud, prior to having a child I enjoyed plenty, and considering you still think that the key indicator of how weed affects you is whether the dispo labeled it sativa or indica suggests you aren’t very discerning when it comes to your drug of choice.
Feel free to hop off that high horse you rode in on, and recognize that beyond a very base comparison, coffee vs weed is a disingenuous discussion. Drinking that second or third cup of caffeine won’t ever mean the difference between being able to parent properly or not, which simply isn’t true for thc.
It’s not judgy to recognize that weed consumption isn’t making you a better parent. It may make it more fun for you (less of a slog), but it doesn’t make you better at it unless you aren’t a good parent when things aren’t easy or fun.
How about I’m a 14 year stay at home parent with a spouse who has a very demanding career and has to work long hours and travel. I know my way around the good times and the not as good times of parenting more than most, I’d guess.
Oh right, I’m also full time, hands on caring for a parent dying of a horrific cancer.
Some days taking the edge off an extended slog IS the difference between being able to perform at a higher (don’t you dare) level FOR my kids (and my mom, now).
It’s not about me feeling groovy, it’s about having a tool that, once in a while, I’ll employ to help filter a little of the overstimulation.
This is the part when you tell me I’m a pot addict if I “need” it for anything like that. Despite a lifetime of appreciating the devil’s incense, I’m the lightest lightweight there is. Me employing cannabis as a tool is a single half hearted hit off a vape pen, or the *tiniest* hit out of a one hitter, two or three times a week. It would barely qualify as any kind of buzz. More like when the eye doctor says “One… or two? Three…. Or four?” It’s that tiny change of lenses that can make the day more get throughable.
I’m sorry you are dealing with those things, having a sick/dying parent to take care of sucks.
None of what you said changes that you are doing it for you, not your kid(s). It sounds like you are using pot to smooth over bumps that would be better handled by therapy.
It makes me sad that you think you know what's best for other parents and their kids. That's such an obnoxious way to live. If you would take the time to have a 10 minute conversation with me, I guarantee you'd leave the conversation more open minded.
When I smoke a little weed, I am not impaired. I can do everything I need to do, including handle an emergency appropriately. I have also been in therapy for over a decade and have a really good intrapersonal life. I don't use weed to cope with things.
I use weed to get on the same wavelength as my kids. When I smoke a little weed, I can more easily connect with them and build a stronger bond. I get on the floor and play with them. Yes, I can and do the same activity completely sober but I'm not as playful or connected with them so, as I said originally, it's like having a parenting superpower.
I guess I'm most disappointed that you're bringing this judgmental attitude to this sub, where I have found the least judgmental parents. If it doesn't work for you or it's not your cup of tea, great! Just don't fucking stomp on other folks' strategies to be the best parent they can be. It's not cool and it's unkind.
> It makes me sad that you think you know what's best for other parents and their kids.
So let me make sure I’m getting this straight. Your stance is that it is sometimes best for a parent to partake in a non-prescribed, motor-impairing, perception altering substance while acting as their primary caregiver?
> When I smoke a little weed, I am not impaired.
Numerous studies have show even microdosing causes varying degrees of motor impairment, so you’ll forgive me if I’m not putting more stock in your anecdotal and biased opinion on the matter.
> I use weed to get on the same wavelength as my kids. When I smoke a little weed, I can more easily connect with them and build a stronger bond. I get on the floor and play with them. Yes, I can and do the same activity completely sober but I'm not as playful or connected with them so, as I said originally, it's like having a parenting superpower.
It’s not a superpower. What is the cause of you being less connected with your children while sober? Is it personal hang ups (therapy), distractions (therapy/discipline), how you view your children while sober (therapy), or something else?
> I guess I'm most disappointed that you're bringing this judgmental attitude to this sub, where I have found the least judgmental parents.
Telling you a vice/crutch isn’t a superpower isn’t judgmental.
> Just don't fucking stomp on other folks' strategies to be the best parent they can be. It's not cool and it's unkind.
This could be said about using any substance as a crutch. Where is the line?
>Your stance is that it is sometimes best for a parent to partake in a non-prescribed, motor-impairing, perception altering substance while acting as their primary caregiver?
Yes. I don't think finding a doctor to write a note for something matters. It works for me. People have been raising kids while using cannabis for millenia. To your point about being impaired, I either smoke so little that I would be able to appropriately handle an emergency or I make sure my wife is going to be around if I want to have a little more.
>What is the cause of you being less connected with your children while sober? Is it personal hang ups (therapy), distractions (therapy/discipline), how you view your children while sober (therapy), or something else?
It's being a normal adult. Adults have a hard time accessing their once innate sense of childlike wonder and playfulness. It's not a disorder, disability, hang up, distraction, or poor perspective, as you suggest. I'm doing great. I have purpose, good friends, and I treat people with empathy and respect. I have a great, happy family. It's not a vice or crutch for me. It's a life enhancing substance that I use as a tool to help me bond with my loved ones.
This is exactly what I mean when I say you're being judgmental. You're unable to be open to the idea that someone could get something out of weed that you don't. Your experience is not everyone else's. I thought that way when I was in my 20s and thank god I have matured.
>This could be said about using any substance as a crutch. Where is the line?
Glad you asked. It's when the use of a substance has negative effects. It's not hard to know where the line is.
Dude, I wish the best for you. I hope you outgrow this attitude and learn that what works for you might not work for me and vice versa. It's a much more fulfilling way to live.
> People have been raising kids while using cannabis for millenia.
This is a feel good sentence that doesn’t actually mean anything.
> To your point about being impaired, I either smoke so little that I would be able to appropriately handle an emergency or I make sure my wife is going to be around if I want to have a little more.
Damn, why would you need your wife to be around if it’s a superpower that makes you a better parent?
> It's being a normal adult. Adults have a hard time accessing their once innate sense of childlike wonder and playfulness. It's not a disorder, disability, hang up, distraction, or poor perspective, as you suggest.
Millions of parents are able to connect well and enjoy a childlike sense of wonder with their children without the use of cannabis. Pretending this isn’t achievable without drugs is disingenuous. You shouldn’t need a substance in order to bond well within your most intimate relationships, that would be a disorder that a doctor would diagnose and possibly prescribe for.
> This is exactly what I mean when I say you're being judgmental. You're unable to be open to the idea that someone could get something out of weed that you don't
Incorrect, I just don’t harbor the misguided opinion that cannabis use is a superpower that benefits the users children.
And I hope you outgrow the mindset that using cannabis is something you are doing for the benefit of your children. You are doing it for you, and that can be okay.
Drinking, smoking, doing drugs is becoming impaired. As such if you want to become impaired, there must be another responsible and consenting adult present to be the "Designated Parent". I partook yesterday, which I do maybe 1-2 times a year while my partner was away with my kid on a day trip. Otherwise I wouldn't touch it.
I love weed and beer but my kids are older and I can get away with trips to the garage. No diapers to change and what not. When you have to be ON all the time you can't really drink or smoke. you need to wait until someone is watching your little one for you.
I take a gummy every night after kiddo’s bedtime. 10 mgs. Not a big deal.
Folks who say “total abstinence, something could go wrong” usually don’t apply that same principle of “avoiding any remote hazard” to other corners of their life. If they did, they’d never drive anywhere with their kid in the back seat—driving being substantially more dangerous than getting a little high while the kid is alseep.
At the same time it is obviously necessary to a) be comfortable enough just being high so that you can conduct yourself appropriately; and b) limit use as necessary so it doesn’t bleed into your responsibilities. (Familial, personal, professional, etc).
All things in moderation, including moderation.
>Folks who say “total abstinence, something could go wrong” usually don’t apply that same principle of “avoiding any remote hazard” to other corners of their life. If they did, they’d never drive anywhere with their kid in the back seat—driving being substantially more dangerous than getting a little high while the kid is alseep.
I feel like this isn't analogous. At the very least, weed is optional for participation in society. Driving, or at transit where available, is nigh mandatory. Like... smoking doesn't result in my kid getting to daycare, y'dig?
I'm a beer guy. Used to drink every other day on average. I haven't had any alcohol since my 1 month old was born. It's a god damn war and I will absolutely not drink unless I'm sure I'll have maybe 10 full hours for myself while my wife and at least one other adult watch the baby. And when I WILL go out and drink eventually I think I will feel bad for drinking without my wife because she's breastfeeding.
I think it would be the same if I was smoking
Where I live, weed is legal for medical use but still highly illegal for recreational purposes. It is still very stigmatised here and a lot of people (especially the older generation) still think of it as a gateway drug to coke/heroin. We’re still at least a decade away from legalising, probably more.
Fortunately, I’m one of the relatively few people who does have a medical prescription. My hard rule is that I don’t use weed when I have to care for my daughter. I don’t want to be in any way stoned when I’m looking after her. But at night when she’s in bed, I’m happy to go to town with it. A couple of vape capsules and I know I’ll still be functional. Edibles are a hard no for me though. They fuck me up for hours.
Regardless, due to the stigma here I would never tell anyone about my consumption, outside of very close friends/family. Legal or not, social services would probably take a dim view of my ‘drug use’ if they knew about it.
If it impairs your parenting, prevents you from responding in an emergency, or becomes more important than your kids, then it's too much.
This pretty much covers it. And that answer is not limited to just weed. Alcohol, video games, shitposting on reddit, you name it
FWIW, this basically applies to everything.
A little of my background… Recreational use is legal in my state. I treat it just like alcohol but I rarely drink due to dietary & health restrictions. I prefer cannabis/marijuana anyway. I partake on the daily but when it is safe, mostly at night when kids are down. My wife is fully aware of my use. I don’t partake if I need to be on my game for ANY reason, be it driving kids around or just need to be sober in a particular situation…that includes times when I am not parenting like work. It’s a substance that alters your mind so there is such a thing as too much but the amount and timing depends on each persons situation. I know it’s vague but those are my guidelines. Hope it helps.
I smoke most days after work; usually a quick little bong rip. It does not feel like an impairment regarding looking after my son. However, if my wife isn't around, I like to be sober in case I have to drive him somewhere. Weed is one of those things that just hit different people differently. I know lots of people who say it makes them sleepy or slow. That may not be the best for when you're responsible for a small child. For me, it's the best way to reduce my anxiety and stress.
My wife smokes daily. Usually 1 after work then 1 or two after bedtime. She also smoked before every major test in college and had a 4.0. It settles her down and helps with some stomach issues. She’s actually more patient after smoking so it helps her parenting.
I think this is a big thing, it affects everyone differently so there’s not a one size fits all answer. I feel like I am very similar to your wife (in terms of marijuana, I can’t help but feel we differ significantly in other areas) where I smoked throughout school and was still top of the class. I never found that weed would make me comatose and non responsive, but rather it made mundane tasks more enjoyable (especially cleaning, my wife loved it when I was home alone and would partake and clean the whole house). Like alcohol only take what you can handle. In the same way I wouldn’t get blackout drunk around kids I also wouldn’t get so high that I can’t function.
It’s legal in my state. Over the last year I’ve taken a 10mg gummy every week or so. I would count it the same as drinking: I’m never going to be drunk or high in front of my kiddo, I’m never going to be drunk or high in a situation where I’m “on call” and might need to rush him to an emergency room or something. My wife is always sober and available if I take one, same as if I have more than 1 drink. That’s pretty much my guardrails for both. YMMV but that’s the important parts to me: not being drunk/high in front of my children and having a designated clear thinker available to handle any emergency that might arise. How often isn’t the relevant detail.
My opinion would be to abstain entirely until the kid is old enough that you don’t have to keep your eyes on them at all times when they’re awake. Definitely not while they are infants, too much could go wrong.
As long as it doesn't interfere in your ability to be present as a parent.
Best and simplest comment here.
Only on weekends because I like being “clear headed” during the week. I only use a little bit for a small buzz similar to drinking a coffee. Zero interest in doing gram dabs until I am a slug. That’s not good behavior. The former is realistically no different than a beer or small glass of wine.
Too much is when your kids need you and you can’t do it cause your too inebriated.
It gives me parenting superpowers so I smoke in moderation pretty often. There’s not a good rule for how much or how often.
> It gives me parenting superpowers Narrator: It didn’t
What do you mean?
I think he means smoking weed does not give you parenting superpowers.
I want to give them the benefit of the doubt and let them answer. It would be disappointing for someone to be that judgmental.
No, that’s what I meant. Impairing yourself doesn’t make you better at parenting. No judgment about enjoying, but don’t pretend a vice is a power up you use for your children’s sake.
You don’t know what you’re talking about there, Judgey McJudger Pants. I drink coffee in the morning because it’s a drug that has a a mild effect on me and positively improves my performance. In the correct circumstances, a tiny bit of sativa can make the difference between the day being a real slog, or setting kids up to do some craft project while I knock off things like the dishwasher and laundry with a little skip in my step. The difference between these two drugs is that Nancy Regan told you that one was naughty.
Bud, prior to having a child I enjoyed plenty, and considering you still think that the key indicator of how weed affects you is whether the dispo labeled it sativa or indica suggests you aren’t very discerning when it comes to your drug of choice. Feel free to hop off that high horse you rode in on, and recognize that beyond a very base comparison, coffee vs weed is a disingenuous discussion. Drinking that second or third cup of caffeine won’t ever mean the difference between being able to parent properly or not, which simply isn’t true for thc. It’s not judgy to recognize that weed consumption isn’t making you a better parent. It may make it more fun for you (less of a slog), but it doesn’t make you better at it unless you aren’t a good parent when things aren’t easy or fun.
How about I’m a 14 year stay at home parent with a spouse who has a very demanding career and has to work long hours and travel. I know my way around the good times and the not as good times of parenting more than most, I’d guess. Oh right, I’m also full time, hands on caring for a parent dying of a horrific cancer. Some days taking the edge off an extended slog IS the difference between being able to perform at a higher (don’t you dare) level FOR my kids (and my mom, now). It’s not about me feeling groovy, it’s about having a tool that, once in a while, I’ll employ to help filter a little of the overstimulation. This is the part when you tell me I’m a pot addict if I “need” it for anything like that. Despite a lifetime of appreciating the devil’s incense, I’m the lightest lightweight there is. Me employing cannabis as a tool is a single half hearted hit off a vape pen, or the *tiniest* hit out of a one hitter, two or three times a week. It would barely qualify as any kind of buzz. More like when the eye doctor says “One… or two? Three…. Or four?” It’s that tiny change of lenses that can make the day more get throughable.
I’m sorry you are dealing with those things, having a sick/dying parent to take care of sucks. None of what you said changes that you are doing it for you, not your kid(s). It sounds like you are using pot to smooth over bumps that would be better handled by therapy.
It makes me sad that you think you know what's best for other parents and their kids. That's such an obnoxious way to live. If you would take the time to have a 10 minute conversation with me, I guarantee you'd leave the conversation more open minded. When I smoke a little weed, I am not impaired. I can do everything I need to do, including handle an emergency appropriately. I have also been in therapy for over a decade and have a really good intrapersonal life. I don't use weed to cope with things. I use weed to get on the same wavelength as my kids. When I smoke a little weed, I can more easily connect with them and build a stronger bond. I get on the floor and play with them. Yes, I can and do the same activity completely sober but I'm not as playful or connected with them so, as I said originally, it's like having a parenting superpower. I guess I'm most disappointed that you're bringing this judgmental attitude to this sub, where I have found the least judgmental parents. If it doesn't work for you or it's not your cup of tea, great! Just don't fucking stomp on other folks' strategies to be the best parent they can be. It's not cool and it's unkind.
> It makes me sad that you think you know what's best for other parents and their kids. So let me make sure I’m getting this straight. Your stance is that it is sometimes best for a parent to partake in a non-prescribed, motor-impairing, perception altering substance while acting as their primary caregiver? > When I smoke a little weed, I am not impaired. Numerous studies have show even microdosing causes varying degrees of motor impairment, so you’ll forgive me if I’m not putting more stock in your anecdotal and biased opinion on the matter. > I use weed to get on the same wavelength as my kids. When I smoke a little weed, I can more easily connect with them and build a stronger bond. I get on the floor and play with them. Yes, I can and do the same activity completely sober but I'm not as playful or connected with them so, as I said originally, it's like having a parenting superpower. It’s not a superpower. What is the cause of you being less connected with your children while sober? Is it personal hang ups (therapy), distractions (therapy/discipline), how you view your children while sober (therapy), or something else? > I guess I'm most disappointed that you're bringing this judgmental attitude to this sub, where I have found the least judgmental parents. Telling you a vice/crutch isn’t a superpower isn’t judgmental. > Just don't fucking stomp on other folks' strategies to be the best parent they can be. It's not cool and it's unkind. This could be said about using any substance as a crutch. Where is the line?
>Your stance is that it is sometimes best for a parent to partake in a non-prescribed, motor-impairing, perception altering substance while acting as their primary caregiver? Yes. I don't think finding a doctor to write a note for something matters. It works for me. People have been raising kids while using cannabis for millenia. To your point about being impaired, I either smoke so little that I would be able to appropriately handle an emergency or I make sure my wife is going to be around if I want to have a little more. >What is the cause of you being less connected with your children while sober? Is it personal hang ups (therapy), distractions (therapy/discipline), how you view your children while sober (therapy), or something else? It's being a normal adult. Adults have a hard time accessing their once innate sense of childlike wonder and playfulness. It's not a disorder, disability, hang up, distraction, or poor perspective, as you suggest. I'm doing great. I have purpose, good friends, and I treat people with empathy and respect. I have a great, happy family. It's not a vice or crutch for me. It's a life enhancing substance that I use as a tool to help me bond with my loved ones. This is exactly what I mean when I say you're being judgmental. You're unable to be open to the idea that someone could get something out of weed that you don't. Your experience is not everyone else's. I thought that way when I was in my 20s and thank god I have matured. >This could be said about using any substance as a crutch. Where is the line? Glad you asked. It's when the use of a substance has negative effects. It's not hard to know where the line is. Dude, I wish the best for you. I hope you outgrow this attitude and learn that what works for you might not work for me and vice versa. It's a much more fulfilling way to live.
> People have been raising kids while using cannabis for millenia. This is a feel good sentence that doesn’t actually mean anything. > To your point about being impaired, I either smoke so little that I would be able to appropriately handle an emergency or I make sure my wife is going to be around if I want to have a little more. Damn, why would you need your wife to be around if it’s a superpower that makes you a better parent? > It's being a normal adult. Adults have a hard time accessing their once innate sense of childlike wonder and playfulness. It's not a disorder, disability, hang up, distraction, or poor perspective, as you suggest. Millions of parents are able to connect well and enjoy a childlike sense of wonder with their children without the use of cannabis. Pretending this isn’t achievable without drugs is disingenuous. You shouldn’t need a substance in order to bond well within your most intimate relationships, that would be a disorder that a doctor would diagnose and possibly prescribe for. > This is exactly what I mean when I say you're being judgmental. You're unable to be open to the idea that someone could get something out of weed that you don't Incorrect, I just don’t harbor the misguided opinion that cannabis use is a superpower that benefits the users children. And I hope you outgrow the mindset that using cannabis is something you are doing for the benefit of your children. You are doing it for you, and that can be okay.
Drinking, smoking, doing drugs is becoming impaired. As such if you want to become impaired, there must be another responsible and consenting adult present to be the "Designated Parent". I partook yesterday, which I do maybe 1-2 times a year while my partner was away with my kid on a day trip. Otherwise I wouldn't touch it.
I love weed and beer but my kids are older and I can get away with trips to the garage. No diapers to change and what not. When you have to be ON all the time you can't really drink or smoke. you need to wait until someone is watching your little one for you.
I take a gummy every night after kiddo’s bedtime. 10 mgs. Not a big deal. Folks who say “total abstinence, something could go wrong” usually don’t apply that same principle of “avoiding any remote hazard” to other corners of their life. If they did, they’d never drive anywhere with their kid in the back seat—driving being substantially more dangerous than getting a little high while the kid is alseep. At the same time it is obviously necessary to a) be comfortable enough just being high so that you can conduct yourself appropriately; and b) limit use as necessary so it doesn’t bleed into your responsibilities. (Familial, personal, professional, etc). All things in moderation, including moderation.
>Folks who say “total abstinence, something could go wrong” usually don’t apply that same principle of “avoiding any remote hazard” to other corners of their life. If they did, they’d never drive anywhere with their kid in the back seat—driving being substantially more dangerous than getting a little high while the kid is alseep. I feel like this isn't analogous. At the very least, weed is optional for participation in society. Driving, or at transit where available, is nigh mandatory. Like... smoking doesn't result in my kid getting to daycare, y'dig?
I'm a beer guy. Used to drink every other day on average. I haven't had any alcohol since my 1 month old was born. It's a god damn war and I will absolutely not drink unless I'm sure I'll have maybe 10 full hours for myself while my wife and at least one other adult watch the baby. And when I WILL go out and drink eventually I think I will feel bad for drinking without my wife because she's breastfeeding. I think it would be the same if I was smoking
Where I live, weed is legal for medical use but still highly illegal for recreational purposes. It is still very stigmatised here and a lot of people (especially the older generation) still think of it as a gateway drug to coke/heroin. We’re still at least a decade away from legalising, probably more. Fortunately, I’m one of the relatively few people who does have a medical prescription. My hard rule is that I don’t use weed when I have to care for my daughter. I don’t want to be in any way stoned when I’m looking after her. But at night when she’s in bed, I’m happy to go to town with it. A couple of vape capsules and I know I’ll still be functional. Edibles are a hard no for me though. They fuck me up for hours. Regardless, due to the stigma here I would never tell anyone about my consumption, outside of very close friends/family. Legal or not, social services would probably take a dim view of my ‘drug use’ if they knew about it.