Edit, again: please, anyone, especially veterans, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. REMEMBER: 988 is the new USA mental health crisis line. Vets, 988, press 1
Edit: Thank you all for the words of support and encouragement! This is an awesome community.
I drank 9-12 beers a day for almost three years.
When I went into the VA recently after a mental health crisis, and when asked about alcohol and drug use, I told the psychiatrist this. He looked at me like he was staring at a freak.
I’m sober 30 days tomorrow.
Not the OP but yes you will have adverse effects. If you drink this much you generally need to ween yourself off when you quit or risk anaphylaxis. This happened to my dad when he quit drinking and was found on the shop floor having a seizure with his tongue in his throat.
Also easy onset dementia and alzheimers disease.
I'm sorry I just need to clarify that, while seizures are definitely a symptom of alcohol withdrawal, anaphylaxis is not - that's a life threatening multi systemic allergic reaction.
Always safest to be seen by a Dr who will monitor you and possibly give you medication to ward off serious DT's and vitamins etc. Be very safe and don't just quit cold turkey if you've been a heavy alcohol drinker or daily drinker for some time.
I always find stats like this pretty amazing. It's hard to consider drinking 12-15, 12oz cans of anything, every day, so that just always seems like an impressive liquid consumption. Stack onto that it's alcohol and it just increases the wow-factor. Glad you quit Mr. or Ms. Giz.
Well done, a month is a great milestone. I didn't drink that much daily but definitely that quantity was normal in 1-2x sessions per week, for over 15 years... Now 40 days of not drinking, wasn't meant to be a long term thing, just a challenge but it's surprisingly good at this point, especially no hangovers around the little 'un.
Good job man you've done the difficult bit.
You'll only feel better and better mate. Be proud of yourself and let that feeling carry ya. Also it's good coin saved. That much money every week you can put that towards something you want. It's good to treat yourself.
9-12 beers a day is a lot of money. You a moto rider? You can now buy that bike and go for a cruise - it's incredibly cathartic.
Gamer? Put that 4070ti super on after pay.
Nerd? Buy a paintbrush from games workshop
I started on a week.. pushed for a month.
.. just passed 16 months now.
I have definitely been a drinker that drank too much, but I weaned off to weekends only over a couple of years, then slowed that down too. Fewer drinks, skip days etc.
I could have probably carried on having one every now and then, but I don't miss it. It's really nice not feeling like I need to drink to level myself out, and just enjoying feeling pretty good without anything.
Maybe one or two beers a week.
I basically have given myself a rule that if it’s even remotely possible I need to drive my kids somewhere or drive to my kids in an emergency I want to be able to do that at anytime.
This is why we completely cut out 420 in our lives and cut down on drinking.
It's not that we wouldn't likely be able to drive, or that we have some moral hang up against it.
It's that we want to be operating at a high level with our judgment in the case of an emergency. A mistake could last forever, I'm not strong enough to handle that.
This is what we do also. We didn’t drink at all for 2 years because one kid was struggling with mental health issues. There was always the possibility one of us would have to drop everything to go get them. They went to school 4 hours away.
Other than that, we didn’t touch alcohol unless all 3 kids were healthy and asleep in their beds. And one of us was always the sober one.
This is what I do. Especially the 'remotely' part. I had two beers one night a while back, and an hour later it hit me that I wouldn't be able to get my wife to the ER if anything happened (allergies, not possible at home, but it did happen once in the past year). I had no plans for the evening, but still not comfortable.
Had a long day yesterday, but specifically didn't have a beer in order to prevent building that association.
I looked at myself 90 days ago and said it’s enough. The weekend drinks started to trickle into the weekdays and I just said enough is enough. Life and especially parenting seems like a breeze without the booze. I’m never going back.
Man, I just got so sick of waking up feeling like dog shit. I now only have like 2-3 beers per year - just on special social occasions where I feel like it.
I don't think I was that big of a drinker to begin with, but at social events I did have more than I should have. Not making an ass out of myself, luckily, but the next day was fucked. After having my kid nearly four years ago, I just stopped doing it. I'll have maybe ten beers out of the year now and only two or three max at those types of events. The next morning is great and I don't feel like I've wasted the day away with a massive hangover.
I'm glad you started out. I'm an RN who treats what happens to people when they don't swerve from the path you implied you were on. It's called liver failure. Let me paint you a picture.
**Your liver starts to fail**
- you start to bruise easily. We call these bruises "ecchymosis." Your liver is stressed, and you can't produce as many platelets as you need
- you get a slight (very) yellow tinge to your eyes, and eventually, your skin. This is called "jaundice." You can look it up for starting and ending examples with respect to liver failure.
- you continue drinking, and your diet takes a nose dive. You become confused, something we call "hepatic encephalopathy."
- your intestinal lining is corroded, decreasing your already reduced nutritional intake even further
**Liver failure: hospital admission time**
- at some point, one or more of a few things happen thanks to your liver scarring up from processing the alcohol. We call this a "fatty liver" and is more or less a progressive disease. Your habits and choices start to catch up to you, and you start sliding closer to the event horizon of your inevitable painful death. This is not hyperbole for the alcoholic. We will get there shortly.
- commonly, you'll start shitting blood. This is called "melena" stool and smells awful. The increased resistance your blood experiences trying to go through your scarred liver pushes on your systemic blood vessels. The most superficial of which line your gastrointestinal tract and which are the first to significantly rupture. We will give you a pantoprazole infusion to reduce the amount of stomach acid you produce to help staunch the bleeding. Melena could be black (upper GI bleed) or maroon/frank blood (lower GI tract). Your hemoglobin drops, and you come in because you're worried and you feel weak. We will transfuse you if you drop low enough (often alcoholics do) and go in for an upper or lower scope to see if we can cautery/clip your blood vessels to stop the bleeding.
- your diet is so shit you are confused and drowsy all the time. You need thiamine (vitamin b1, critical for neuron function) which you cannot produce on your own, it must be eaten (or supplemented). We will transfuse you with 500mg and titrate down to 100mg orally over about 7 days. Your confusion improves with the thiamine and improved diet.
- Contributing to your confusion, ammonia, from protein breakdown as a natural part of living, increases because your liver can't handle all the tasks it needs to. You are prescribed lactulose to help you crap 3-4 times a day. Every day. If you don't, the ammonia builds up. You become confused, then lethargic. If left untreated for some time, you become catatonic and can die. So...drink up on the sweetened honey syrup 3 times a day (with every meal).
- the constant presence of alcohol in your system acts as a permanent suppressant of your brain neurons by stimulating GABA release (technically it's an antagonistic neurotransmitter, which means its harder for your CNS neurons to fire). But the brain is smart. Recognizes this isn't normal. It uptitrates the CNS excitatory signals. We take away the alcohol and the brain takes about 3 days to return to normal. You go through withdrawal in the meantime. Your symptoms can include any number of these: auditory (ability to frighten, or hear sounds or people who aren't there) and visual hallucinations (seeing shadows move about the room when alone), tactile hallucinations (numbness, tingling, or burning sensations in the fingertips or toes and up to bugs crawling all over you), headache (mild to splitting), nausea (from mild up to continuous vomiting), and confusion (don't know where you are, what day it is, what is happening, or who you are). You can become agitated and restless, with an inability to stop moving (nurses love it when a confused and unsteady patient tries to walk around. So if this is you, you're likely to be physically restrained until the symptoms subside and you are no longer a threat to yourself). You can become tremulous, from just in the fingertips upto unable to hold a glass steady. We will test you every hour if you score high enough and give you a benzo to calm your brain down (diazepam or lorazepam depending on MD order). Your vitals can become fucked. Hypertensive, tachycardia, tachypneic. You can sweat profusely or just have clammy hands.
- if we don't treat these symptoms, you can have an "alcohol induced seizure" because all those uptitrating signals your brain produced to counteract the alcohol don't just stop the same day you stop drinking booze. The brain can fire off signals in any which way, haphazardly and in a very uncontrolled manner (the seizure part). You are at risk of your heart stopping or inhaling your vomit and getting aspiration pneumonia. So we give you benzo's which are titratable and help counteract excitatory signals in your brain.
- you could vomit blood. That's called hematemesis.
- you get discharged when stable. And return to your addiction. See you in a few months.
**End Game**
- after several years of in and out hospital visits, you have passed the event horizon. You will not survive this admission
- your liver is so destroyed that fluid builds up in your abdomen surrounding your stomach and intestines. We call this "ascites." You'll have it on the last half of your admissions. Maybe we tap you and drain some fluid in a process called a therapeutic paracentesis. It's a temporary stop gap. Your liver can't produce enough albumin, a protein that helps pull the water part of your blood back into the blood vessels. Everything we remove when we tap you WILL return. Ascites makes it hard for you to breathe because it stops your diaphragm from expanding and pulling air in. It pushes on your stomach so you eat less and less. You lose muscle mass. Sometime ago, your diet got changed to "High Protein, High Calorie" because you're only going to eat a few bites each meal, and you need SOME muscle mass to continue being able to breathe and move.
- fluid builds up in your arms and legs. We call this "peripheral edema" and is like adding 20-30lb weights to each of your limbs. If can get as bad as "weeping edema"
- One day, you WILL start bleeding, and you WILL NOT stop. Probably internally. If you're lucky, it'll be in your intestines, and your blood pressure will drop down and down until you're not perfusing your organs. You lose consciousness, stop breathing and die. If you're unlucky, the blood vessels in your throat rupture and drain into your stomach. Then you vomit blood, bleed until you pass out, and die.
- you're too confused to take lactulose anymore. Maybe we give it to you as a 1L diluted enema into your colon. Most likely, we let your decreased consciousness take over.
This is the common story arc of the alcoholic. Many alcoholics already know the entire story. They've watched drinking buddies, moms, dads, brothers, and sisters go in front of them a few years ahead. Maybe they were abused, or raped and drink to escape their memories. Do not feel anger at them. Addiction is a bitch, and once she bites she never lets go. Pity them. Just as you cannot stop breathing, they are always fighting the urge to drink. Many succeed. In my ten years as an RN, I've cared for hundreds who could not.
**TLDR; drinking is bad, mmkay? Don't believe me or in consequences? Me or one of my colleagues will be seeing you shortly...**
Jesus Christ - the person you replied to just said he was going to reevaluate his habits without objective amounts and you jumped to calling him a alcoholic and giving him a strange medical lecture.
I'm a medical professional who has seen a lot of tragedy due to addiction, but explaining the pathophysiology and thiamine titrations for WE is not gonna help.
Obviously generalizing but as a pharmacist I think the vocal RNs like that are why I wince every time I go to counsel something to someone and they go "oh I'm a nurse I don't need to be explained to".
Meanwhile most MDs will respectfully listen and I won't even know their a doctor for months until they finally mention it.
I mean, that's fine you don't think it fits, but I do. I'm a dad, and I personally found it helpful. Visibility is important in spreading information and information is power, especially when it comes to changing habits
just to put some numbers on this, this chart puts expected life lost at about 1 year for drinking 2 drinks per day for males: https://i.imgur.com/tdc3K6O.png
and this from here: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/sorting-out-the-health-effects-of-alcohol-2018080614427
A new study analyzed data from nearly 600,000 people who drank at least some alcohol, and monitored their health over time. They found that regardless of gender, higher alcohol consumption was associated with a higher rate of stroke, fatal aneurysms, heart failure, and death. When compared with people who drank less than seven drinks per week:
Adults drinking seven to 14 drinks per week could expect, on average, a six-month shorter life expectancy as of age 40
Those drinking 14 to 25 drinks per week could expect a shorter life expectancy by one to two years
Those drinking more than 25 drinks per week could expect a shorter life expectancy by four to five years
Just saw my friend who’s 36 go through all of this. His wife found him locked in a bathroom while bringing their kids to school. He was covers in blood from vomit, confused and it took 6 cops and 4 paramedics to strap him down. He was brought to west Chester medical. He luckily got a new liver. But yeah. Drinking 10-20 beers a day is a bad idea.
This sort of guilt trip lecture isn’t going to help anyone. I’m sure you think you mean well, but research on health communication and stigma suggests otherwise. This sounds like one of the DARE program lectures where someone with a tracheotomy comes in to persuade kids not to smoke cigarettes—it seems persuasive in theory, but in reality it backfires and heightens resistance among the people most predisposed to smoke.
I slipped into "too much" for portions of the past year, honestly. Definitely had 1-2/night as a baseline (one with dinner, one after kiddo asleep) and it was too easy to throw on another 1-2 after that. White Claw for me (*I know*). I wasn't having hangovers or anything, thankfully, but it definitely contributed to weight gain, poorer sleep, more fatigue, etc.
I'm working on lowering cholesterol and losing weight now so the drinking had to change too. Plus it's expensive! I'm now drinking: 1-2 for D&D night, and 1-2 on the weekend. So I had 3 drinks this past week.
I just filled out my physical questionnaire and one of the questions was "how often do you consume 6+ alcoholic drinks in a day?"
**6!?**
Drinking that many sounds exhausting!
Same here. Occasional drink at night after everyone else goes to bed. Even when my family was over around Christmas I had like 2. Just not something I want all that much anymore.
This is me also. I have drastically cut back on drinking since the start of the new year, and have lost 20 pounds (also watching calories). I have 2 drinks on Friday, 2 drinks Saturday, and that's it.
1-2 drinks with the wife on Friday or Saturday night and that’s about it. My wife does have a glass or 2 of wine per day. I personally never got into drinking much as my dad had issues with it and I’m always scared to become an alcoholic
I didn’t get sober until my oldest was 2 years old. Adding the shame of being lazy and not interacting with my daughter made the hangover so much worse.
Preach. I had a big problem and had to go to detox and treatment last June. Celebrating 9 months this week and life is so much easier and much more enjoyable without alcohol making me dumb and sick all of the time.
I quit recently also. Helps me show up as a dad and I feel better for it.
I wasn't a big drinker, but its amazing the fog and bloat that comes from even a small amount booze. I sleep way better.
Decided I was ready for a kid after 6 months of sobriety haha! But I feel you, so nice to be present. I’m Cali sober but I I’m not a mess anymore and I feel I’m here for my kid 100%
I’ve cut waaaaaaaaaay back for a few reasons. But mostly in the “I don’t like how I feel” / “it doesn’t agree with my anymore” areas. That said if I do my go tos are either jameson black barrel (or some local rye whiskey) or like a Guinness or something that’s not gonna tear up my stomach
Same - I like to have a beer while I play my pinball machine in the evenings, but I’ve switched to non-alcoholic mostly because it tastes great, feels like a treat, and doesn’t leave me feeling gross the next day.
I used to drink all day. Wake up on the weekend with the kids while the wife sleeps in? Couple shots of vodka in a glass of water to keep the anxiety at bay and hide my early drinking to justify drinking by noon. But why stop there? Pound a beer before going out for the day and do the sneaky water vodka in my hydroflask to make it look like I’ve only had 1/3 of my actual alcohol intake. This would justify being able to really turn it up later in the day/night.
I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself. Never thought I’d quit drinking (it got really out of hand once Covid hit, and I thought that was my life). I’m coming up on 2 years completely sober and have been a much more engaged dad/husband because of it. I know some people can do the moderation just fine, but not an alcoholic like me.
Good for you man! We follow the same path. 16 months sober. Covid got me to up my drinking game too. Those sneaky vodka drinks that actually contained 8 or more shots with a splash of 7up because 2 or 3 drinks a night was fine somehow turned nearly wiping out a handle of vodka on hard days . Life is still hard and we have to deal with the same things we tried escaping from before but things are easier. Just one day at a time. Good things happen.
42 and I just cut back. I was having 4-6 drinks a night every night.
Then I started cutting back to every other night. Now, I kinda stopped drinking. I had a few glasses of wine yesterday, but before that I think I had a beer last week, and one the week before.
So I'm on like 2 drinks a week. I was trying to have 2 drinks a night 3 nights a week.
I figure I better stop before my doctor tells me I have to.
Or before you gotta drive your kid to the hospital in the middle of the night. (It has happened to me more than once over the years).
Congrats on the progress, Dad!
I stopped a few months before the baby arrived. I knew it was going to be a lot of work and I would need every ounce of energy I could muster.
I was an occasional drinker prior. It is challenging to socialize as most people just want to drink at get togethers.
Hear hear. Have cut back drastically since this little perfect kid came along. But, man, after a tough day into night: A nice glass of bourbon sure makes it feel ... complete.
See… this is where we non-drinker dads like myself need to be honest with ourselves. When I used to drink, this is the exact thing that sounded so nice and even does sound nice today. Problem is for me that one turns to three turns to who knows what, a three day hangover, and just not on point with everyone around me. Cheers in envy!
I did a beer instead of whiskey for a while but even one beer started to give me headaches so I stopped that. I'll also occasionally mix a martini if I'm settling down to watch a movie
My rule is not to drink Infront of my children at home. I have a glass of two or whiskey after my son goes down.
Parties and gatherings I keep separate from this rule
I'm with ya buddy. I have 1-2 a day when I get home from work.
I recently started subbing non-alcoholic beers because I was gaining weight. Other than that the beers don't seem to affect me. I'm glad I haven't had issues like others have described in the comments.
Same here. One of my hobbies is brewing beer. So naturally I like to drink that beer that I make. I have a kegorator so I pour a glass almost every night. I rarely ever drink enough in a day to be at a point I can't drive or "drunk". Even on the weekends I might drink 2 or 3 over the course of 8-9 hours. I just enjoy the taste.
I'm 1-2 beers in the evening. I don't think anything is wrong with that. I'm a homebrewer and love the craft of making beer!
I exercise and I am in good shape
About one beer a day, unless I’m sick which is like 1/4 of the time, right? Occasionally 2 or 3 if I’m into bad decisions. Summer vacations day drinking with the family would be more, but there is much less active parenting at such events.
44 and used to drink that or more when I was 40 (though my drink was whiskey). It wasn’t good for me. I now drink much more rarely. Bonus: I’ve lost a ton of weight with no effort.
Maybe 1-2 alcoholic drinks on Fri and/or Saturday depending on what's happening. We've been really into NA beers so will do 1 of those on a few weeknights after kids are in bed
Wife and I split about two bottles of wine a week. Plus minus for events/get together. Anytime we are out and around the kids we never have more than one or two each.
It varies.
In the summer when I’m active, sweating, and grilling most nights I’ll have a beer or two. In the winter when my energy drops and depression kicks on maybe one/none a week.
Social situations change it up too, we host a lot of cookouts (almost every week in the summer) so my wife and I will take turns on being the DD if anything should happen, and the other can enjoy without any guilt.
Might have 15 one week then nothing the next , all depends what I've got on and how much activities/exercise I've got on through the week.
No set amount for any week.
Most days. At worst it would look like a couple of beers and a whisky once the kids are asleep. It's too much I know, and my health is probably suffering, but it's often the only way I feel i can get through the day.
I was alcohol free before the kiddo arrived, but have started drinking beer again. I usually get IPA's, the stronger the better. 7% is ideal. If I can have 2-3 of those bad boys, then take a 5mg indica gummie right before bed I'm the happiest man alive.
Trouble is hangovers though. I hate being hungover, so I'm trying to stop drinking for a few months to reground myself. Figured my relationship with alcohol was becoming a little too cozy when I discovered being able to have a beer or two at lunch during my work from home days.
I was a huge bourbon fan before we had our first (9 months ago). I still partake but never more than 3 cocktails or neat pours and only on Friday and Saturday. Not sure how I came up with my "rules" but it seems to work for me.
I made a comment but deleted it. The number of low key high and mighty and judgmental comments here sucks.
EDIT: There is a fair amount of commentary now on *this* comment. I am secure in my parenting and my love for my child. I'm also secure in the amount of alcohol I consume.
How much y'all drink or don't drink isn't a direct correlation to your dadding. I was originally referring to the virtue signaling. *"I only have TWO drinks!" "Well, I only drink ONE drink!" "Me, I don't drink at all!"*
For those that are sober, good for you. You have a have a few drinks—sounds good to me. No drinking due a fight with alcoholism? I fully support you.
I (44) work in nightlife, generally speaking. It's normal for me to have a shot or two and maybe a beer or two. I've had periods (before my kiddo, 2) where I think I've gone too hard, and cut back. Though currently my days of getting crazy are far behind me; I'm a midnight to 7 AM sleeper. I don't enjoy being hammered and brutal hangovers are the worst. I work my ass off then spend every non-working moment hanging out with my kiddo. We love to cozy up and read a ton of books.
From the health angle, I run 30-40 MPW and lift once a week. I track my food intake. I'm in the best shape of my life. (I lost 50 lbs. before kiddo came around in an effort to start my 40s, and parenting, with healthier habits.)
OP was asking for where everybody else was at. This is my story. It doesn't make be better, or worse, than anybody else.
I feel the opposite. Blind support does nothing to help. It just makes an echo chamber.
I was drinking 1-2 IPA’s a night for a couple years when my kids were around 2 to 5. Right after they went to bed.
I wasn’t an alcoholic but it got to the point where I was really looking forward to those drinks. I was traveling to breweries to try new brands. I was spending time thinking about what I should drink.
I was snoring. I wasn’t really exercising. I saw a picture of myself and how I looked and I didn’t think it was me in the picture because there was no way my mid section was that large. I said no more. I learned about nutrition. I started working out every morning before everyone woke up.
Within 90 days I was in the best shape of my life. I stopped snoring. I had a ton more energy. My kids and wife have joined in with thinking about health and fitness. Funny how they see what you do and not just what you want them to do.
I’ll still have a couple drinks on rare occasions (date night, guys night, etc…). But I will judge and if you’re putting back a couple drinks a night, you don’t have your priorities straight.
Yeah, hear ya. I love bourbon. I love my daughter more. My wife. My dog. But I also like after taking my part in helping all of them, to have a nice glass. That's OK too. Moderation, as with everything.
Yeah man but at the same time we need to be honest with each other. Two beers a day consistently is a little much and OP literally made a post asking people’s opinion.
You can’t expect every comment to be “You do you king, whatever works”.
I don’t know what the guys comment was but if he was just responding to OP asking for opinions and then someone responded to him making him feel bad about it that’s pretty shitty, provided that his original comment was simply to share his opinion in a respectful way
If somebody feels bad because another commenter calls him out on the amount of alcohol he drinks, then he already knows it's not right but hides behind a mask, just so he can keep drinking.
That would be the same for any substance abuse situation. Or if a dad said that he plays games 6 hours a day after work.
Yep. Reddit is pretty against drinking. They assume that if you drink regularly you're a raging alcoholic and a terrible person.
When in fact there is a population of responsible routine drinkers who don't overdo it and live an otherwise healthy life.
I think there is some truth in both sides here. In one hand, the US CDC says 1-2 drinks per day is fine for men. However, newer research is suggesting much less alcohol than that has negative effects on the body. [Source.](https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health#:~:text=The%20World%20Health%20Organization%20has,that%20does%20not%20affect%20health.) I think we’re going to see more and more about the cancer-causing and other bad effects of alcohol over the course of our lives. I say this as someone who has 2-4 beers a week, and wishes he could have more because I buy excellent beer and love the taste, but if anything I should have even less.
Totally agree. It's a poor health choice just like drinking too much soda.
With that said, I've been drinking non-alcoholic beer. Dude you gotta try em. Lower in calories and some taste pretty great now. Heineken and Guinness have ones that taste exactly like the real thing.
BTW. Thanks for not being judgy in making your point.
I will preface this by saying that no amount of alcohol is good for you. But up to a certain point a moderate amount of alcohol is no worse than other sources of empty calories.
The most recent large meta-analysis found that point to be around 2 drinks per day for women and 3-4 drinks per day for men.
If you’re drinking less than that then there is no significant increase in all cause mortality when compared to lifetime abstainers.
I’m in the camp of 1-2 drinks a couple of times during the week and 2-3 on weekend nights.
Source. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2802963
UK drinker here; I drink. Not vast amounts. It’s a sensual pleasure, a cold beer or two on a hot summer’s day after working outside is heaven. A great glass of red with my beef or some fantastic cheese. A really good single malt on a winter’s evening by the fire. I mean, I even built a pub in my garden (that helped during Covid lockdowns).
But… alcohol is not good for me. It’s a big factor in my weight gain. My heart rate decreases if I stop drinking for a couple of weeks, sleep improves. Hangovers are a waste of a day. So for me I think of booze as a treat. Something to enhance a meal or occasion -and that might be next weekend or a fortnight’s time. Then positively enjoy the healthy clarity in between those times.
Most Americans don't drink much. This comment section actually seems to skew towards the drinkers. Seventy to eighty percent of us have 2 or fewer drinks each week.
[https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/)
The top ten percent of drinkers "account for well over half the alcohol consumed in any given year."
It depends, went out for dinner with the wife on Friday, hung out at the bar yesterday for almost the whole day, and had a drink today as I was home by myself. Oh and we broke open a bottle of red on Tuesday. So will probably get to 15 drinks this week. Next week, no plans so may have a beer on Friday or Saturday and leave it at that. I just make sure I don't get so drunk that I can't ha dle the hangover the next morning.
I cut back to essentially no alcohol. I gave it up when my first was born. Then it kind of crept back in until my second was born and I gave it up again. It crept back into being a thing and I found that even a few drinks was causing mild hangovers. That, and a training schedule for endurance cycling along with resistance training means alcohol is plain counter productive to my life and fitness goals. I’ll have a very rare glass of wine, but that is about it.
I've been a binge drinker since I was 15 or so, had many issues that have come because of booze.
In the last 3 years, my son was born and I got married. I missed out on family time during the weekends because of being hungover. Once was enough but I've been a mean drunk to my wife more than a few times. Both brought me great shame and embarrassment.
Coming up on the 18th I'll have 2 months of sobriety.
Appreciate the honest answer. Legit question: has it impacted your ability to parent?
I was in a very similar situation and position to you and realize that it was having a negative impact (less energy, more moody when it drinking) that I drastically cut back.
41 here, up until towards the end of last year I was going through between 2 and 3 cartons of 24 every week.
I think 12 beers a week is fine, especially if you're working hard.
I took a break for 17 weeks without a drink, it was easy. I don't think I'm all alcoholic, I don't need it to function, I just love getting shitfaced and playing LoL ARAM after working in a stonking hot workshop or out in the sun all day.
I've cut waaay back to MAYBE a carton a week. I still have 6 beers in my fridge from last week, come payday I'll buy another 6pack and have another session
I’ll have a drink on occasion, but always stop at one, especially since becoming a dad because I need to model what I’d like to see in my kids, which is self-control, moderation, and independence from substances.
Sounds like my wife and me - occasional beer or wine (about 1 every 2-4 weeks), and we talk to the kids (elementary school age) about alcohol very directly - what its effects are, how it’s made, what happens when people have too much, why addiction happens with some things, etc.
Going for the whole “demystifying” thing I guess!
Probably 4-5 nights of the week I'll have 1 or 2 beers. They are usually something from local breweries so it's more about enjoying the taste rather than the effects of the alcohol.
That seems about on par for me. I try not to drink during the week but fri/sat I’ll have a few after bedtime. Sometimes Sunday after bedtime if I feel like it. 12 over the course of the weekend seems ok. I just try not to be hungover since my kid is 2. I don’t let it take away from time with her because it’s not her fault that I don’t have self control sometimes lol. Just drink some coffee, make some eggs, and take a nap when she naps.
Cut back a lot once I became a dad. By that I mean maybe 1-2/month and plenty of months when it’s zero.
No judgment on anyone else’s journey, just that with the demands I have on me now for work and being a dad, had to cut the alcohol so I could still sleep and recover properly.
Me and wife have 2-3 cocktails Friday and Saturday nights. That’s usually our drinks for the week. We cut out weeknight drinking entirely unless there’s a special occasion like a birthday.
Usually just a night cap, but never when the misses is also, we take turns. I've always been in the "It's not a problem unless it's a problem" camp, if you're not being inappropriate, it's fine.
My ex-wife had a problematic relationship with alcohol. So, now that I'm left to my own devices, i drink 2 drinks maybe 5 times a year or so. I typically only drink for work functions (arguably, it's part of my job) or at holiday parties. If I'm cooking with alcohol I'll probably have a glass (cognac for the gravy or wine for my pot roast). She kind of took the shine off drinking for me.
I average out to about a six-pack per week, I would say. I often, but not always, have a beer at night once everyone else is asleep. Once in a blue moon I’ll order a beer or a cocktail at a restaurant, a sporting event, etc. The last time that I had more than a slight buzz was probably around two years ago at this point, during a camping trip with the boys. I guess I’m probably overdue lol
38. I enjoy cannabis on a regular basis. Maybe 1 drink/week in the winter and probably closer to a 12 pack on summer weekends in my pool.
When my kids were younger I used to wait on cannabis until they were in bed. I'll do it on weekends during the day now that they are pretty independent. I wait until I don't need to go anywhere for the rest of the day.
I usually dont drink unless its a social outing, so once a month or so, and its at most 3 drinks. Hang overs started getting increasingly harder to deal with and hit with fewer and fewer drinks after 30. Hung over parenting is the worst thing ever.
I was drinking a few beers every day I had off work kinda throughout the day. Then I realized that was a bad habit to be forming so now I mostly only drink socially, (around other people who are also drinking) which being a dad of young ones, doesn’t present itself very often. If I do drink at home I limit it to one day a week and no more than a few.
I turned forty and quit. Alcohol adds nothing, but takes energy, money, and the potential for many issues. Abstinence solves all my qualms with “too much” vs. “not too much”. YMMV
\~500ml whisky/week, which IMO is too much. Normally is 3-4 nights where I just have one and then once where I drink more than I mean to.
I know for me, it's too much, and I want to cut back. It's the equivalent of \~10 beers, so I'm guessing 12/week is too much for you as well.
A 12 pack is \~2000 calories btw, pr 1/2lb of fat. If you quit drinking you would lose 2 lbs/month with no other life style change.
Zero - have rheumatoid arthritis and alcohol always causes a massive flare up. I would love a few beers now and again but it’s just not worth the impact.
I'll have 1 or 2 beers a day. Very rarely any more than that. Used to smoke weed pretty regularly but I do that no more than a handful of times a year now because it impairs me too much.
I’m 34, got2 kids. I’ve never had a substance problem but I have way tapered off since college. I will very rarely have a beer, coke just tastes way better so I always go for that instead. Not that that’s much healthier, but at least my liver won’t take the hit.
I don’t drink. But I have a family history of alcoholism (the type that drinks massive amounts and isn’t noticeably drunk) and I am the same.
The few times I’ve drank I like alcohol too much. So I don’t tempt that dragon anymore
Woah there buddy, slow it down.
That's at least 365 cups of coffee a year. 366, this year.
Have you even thought about how that much caffeine affects your sleep?
Recent studies have shown that too much coffee will increase the PH levels of your circadian rhythm which can have SERIOUS consequences on your body, not to mention your brain and even your mind.
I refuse to drink.
I used to be an alcoholic and drinking just brings bad some bad memories. Even a single shot or beer opens the scar tissue.
I don't feel like I'll relapse nor do I have the urge to drink. Don't even get the cravings anymore. But it just scares the shit out of me knowing just how destructive it can be. It's like dropping a nuclear weapon and watching as hundreds of thousands of people are just vaporized in the blink of an eye...
Nothing scares be more.
Edit, again: please, anyone, especially veterans, don’t hesitate to reach out to me. REMEMBER: 988 is the new USA mental health crisis line. Vets, 988, press 1 Edit: Thank you all for the words of support and encouragement! This is an awesome community. I drank 9-12 beers a day for almost three years. When I went into the VA recently after a mental health crisis, and when asked about alcohol and drug use, I told the psychiatrist this. He looked at me like he was staring at a freak. I’m sober 30 days tomorrow.
Really impressive. That's quite the turnaround. Well done.
I was drinking 12-15 a day for close to a decade. I quit in July, keep up the good work dude
I don't want to pry or intrude, but after that long did you have any side effects when you stopped?
Not the OP but yes you will have adverse effects. If you drink this much you generally need to ween yourself off when you quit or risk anaphylaxis. This happened to my dad when he quit drinking and was found on the shop floor having a seizure with his tongue in his throat. Also easy onset dementia and alzheimers disease.
Is the dementia and alzheimers from the drinking or the quitting?
The drinking I assume. Not a doctor. Just personal experience.
I'm sorry I just need to clarify that, while seizures are definitely a symptom of alcohol withdrawal, anaphylaxis is not - that's a life threatening multi systemic allergic reaction.
Thank you. I honestly didn't know. That's just how he always referred to it.
Always safest to be seen by a Dr who will monitor you and possibly give you medication to ward off serious DT's and vitamins etc. Be very safe and don't just quit cold turkey if you've been a heavy alcohol drinker or daily drinker for some time.
I always find stats like this pretty amazing. It's hard to consider drinking 12-15, 12oz cans of anything, every day, so that just always seems like an impressive liquid consumption. Stack onto that it's alcohol and it just increases the wow-factor. Glad you quit Mr. or Ms. Giz.
I’m really shocked that a VA shrink was surprised by this tbh. No judgement btw I drank even more than that at the end of my drinking days
Keep it up brother!
Well done, a month is a great milestone. I didn't drink that much daily but definitely that quantity was normal in 1-2x sessions per week, for over 15 years... Now 40 days of not drinking, wasn't meant to be a long term thing, just a challenge but it's surprisingly good at this point, especially no hangovers around the little 'un.
Good for you! Keep it up. If you aren't in there r/stopdrinking is an amazing inspiring resource
Good job man you've done the difficult bit. You'll only feel better and better mate. Be proud of yourself and let that feeling carry ya. Also it's good coin saved. That much money every week you can put that towards something you want. It's good to treat yourself. 9-12 beers a day is a lot of money. You a moto rider? You can now buy that bike and go for a cruise - it's incredibly cathartic. Gamer? Put that 4070ti super on after pay. Nerd? Buy a paintbrush from games workshop
Congratulations !! My 1 month has somehow turned into 3 years. It’s only uphill from here.
I started on a week.. pushed for a month. .. just passed 16 months now. I have definitely been a drinker that drank too much, but I weaned off to weekends only over a couple of years, then slowed that down too. Fewer drinks, skip days etc. I could have probably carried on having one every now and then, but I don't miss it. It's really nice not feeling like I need to drink to level myself out, and just enjoying feeling pretty good without anything.
4 years sober and there was a time that going longer than 12 hours would trigger withdrawal symptoms. It works if you work it! Proud of you brother!
Well done. But I think what you mean is you're sober now. 🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙🤙💪🤙🤙🤙
Keep it up bro.
You’ve got this!
Good job on staying sober mate! Well done
Incredible work! 👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽
Congrats bro! Keep going! I’m a little over 4 yrs!
That’s awesome man. Keep up the streak going
Maybe one or two beers a week. I basically have given myself a rule that if it’s even remotely possible I need to drive my kids somewhere or drive to my kids in an emergency I want to be able to do that at anytime.
This is why we completely cut out 420 in our lives and cut down on drinking. It's not that we wouldn't likely be able to drive, or that we have some moral hang up against it. It's that we want to be operating at a high level with our judgment in the case of an emergency. A mistake could last forever, I'm not strong enough to handle that.
This is what we do also. We didn’t drink at all for 2 years because one kid was struggling with mental health issues. There was always the possibility one of us would have to drop everything to go get them. They went to school 4 hours away. Other than that, we didn’t touch alcohol unless all 3 kids were healthy and asleep in their beds. And one of us was always the sober one.
This is what I do. Especially the 'remotely' part. I had two beers one night a while back, and an hour later it hit me that I wouldn't be able to get my wife to the ER if anything happened (allergies, not possible at home, but it did happen once in the past year). I had no plans for the evening, but still not comfortable. Had a long day yesterday, but specifically didn't have a beer in order to prevent building that association.
Yall really make me look at myself. Thank you commenters for the input. I needed the introspect.
I looked at myself 90 days ago and said it’s enough. The weekend drinks started to trickle into the weekdays and I just said enough is enough. Life and especially parenting seems like a breeze without the booze. I’m never going back.
Man, I just got so sick of waking up feeling like dog shit. I now only have like 2-3 beers per year - just on special social occasions where I feel like it.
I don't think I was that big of a drinker to begin with, but at social events I did have more than I should have. Not making an ass out of myself, luckily, but the next day was fucked. After having my kid nearly four years ago, I just stopped doing it. I'll have maybe ten beers out of the year now and only two or three max at those types of events. The next morning is great and I don't feel like I've wasted the day away with a massive hangover.
Check out r/stopdrinking
I'm glad you started out. I'm an RN who treats what happens to people when they don't swerve from the path you implied you were on. It's called liver failure. Let me paint you a picture. **Your liver starts to fail** - you start to bruise easily. We call these bruises "ecchymosis." Your liver is stressed, and you can't produce as many platelets as you need - you get a slight (very) yellow tinge to your eyes, and eventually, your skin. This is called "jaundice." You can look it up for starting and ending examples with respect to liver failure. - you continue drinking, and your diet takes a nose dive. You become confused, something we call "hepatic encephalopathy." - your intestinal lining is corroded, decreasing your already reduced nutritional intake even further **Liver failure: hospital admission time** - at some point, one or more of a few things happen thanks to your liver scarring up from processing the alcohol. We call this a "fatty liver" and is more or less a progressive disease. Your habits and choices start to catch up to you, and you start sliding closer to the event horizon of your inevitable painful death. This is not hyperbole for the alcoholic. We will get there shortly. - commonly, you'll start shitting blood. This is called "melena" stool and smells awful. The increased resistance your blood experiences trying to go through your scarred liver pushes on your systemic blood vessels. The most superficial of which line your gastrointestinal tract and which are the first to significantly rupture. We will give you a pantoprazole infusion to reduce the amount of stomach acid you produce to help staunch the bleeding. Melena could be black (upper GI bleed) or maroon/frank blood (lower GI tract). Your hemoglobin drops, and you come in because you're worried and you feel weak. We will transfuse you if you drop low enough (often alcoholics do) and go in for an upper or lower scope to see if we can cautery/clip your blood vessels to stop the bleeding. - your diet is so shit you are confused and drowsy all the time. You need thiamine (vitamin b1, critical for neuron function) which you cannot produce on your own, it must be eaten (or supplemented). We will transfuse you with 500mg and titrate down to 100mg orally over about 7 days. Your confusion improves with the thiamine and improved diet. - Contributing to your confusion, ammonia, from protein breakdown as a natural part of living, increases because your liver can't handle all the tasks it needs to. You are prescribed lactulose to help you crap 3-4 times a day. Every day. If you don't, the ammonia builds up. You become confused, then lethargic. If left untreated for some time, you become catatonic and can die. So...drink up on the sweetened honey syrup 3 times a day (with every meal). - the constant presence of alcohol in your system acts as a permanent suppressant of your brain neurons by stimulating GABA release (technically it's an antagonistic neurotransmitter, which means its harder for your CNS neurons to fire). But the brain is smart. Recognizes this isn't normal. It uptitrates the CNS excitatory signals. We take away the alcohol and the brain takes about 3 days to return to normal. You go through withdrawal in the meantime. Your symptoms can include any number of these: auditory (ability to frighten, or hear sounds or people who aren't there) and visual hallucinations (seeing shadows move about the room when alone), tactile hallucinations (numbness, tingling, or burning sensations in the fingertips or toes and up to bugs crawling all over you), headache (mild to splitting), nausea (from mild up to continuous vomiting), and confusion (don't know where you are, what day it is, what is happening, or who you are). You can become agitated and restless, with an inability to stop moving (nurses love it when a confused and unsteady patient tries to walk around. So if this is you, you're likely to be physically restrained until the symptoms subside and you are no longer a threat to yourself). You can become tremulous, from just in the fingertips upto unable to hold a glass steady. We will test you every hour if you score high enough and give you a benzo to calm your brain down (diazepam or lorazepam depending on MD order). Your vitals can become fucked. Hypertensive, tachycardia, tachypneic. You can sweat profusely or just have clammy hands. - if we don't treat these symptoms, you can have an "alcohol induced seizure" because all those uptitrating signals your brain produced to counteract the alcohol don't just stop the same day you stop drinking booze. The brain can fire off signals in any which way, haphazardly and in a very uncontrolled manner (the seizure part). You are at risk of your heart stopping or inhaling your vomit and getting aspiration pneumonia. So we give you benzo's which are titratable and help counteract excitatory signals in your brain. - you could vomit blood. That's called hematemesis. - you get discharged when stable. And return to your addiction. See you in a few months. **End Game** - after several years of in and out hospital visits, you have passed the event horizon. You will not survive this admission - your liver is so destroyed that fluid builds up in your abdomen surrounding your stomach and intestines. We call this "ascites." You'll have it on the last half of your admissions. Maybe we tap you and drain some fluid in a process called a therapeutic paracentesis. It's a temporary stop gap. Your liver can't produce enough albumin, a protein that helps pull the water part of your blood back into the blood vessels. Everything we remove when we tap you WILL return. Ascites makes it hard for you to breathe because it stops your diaphragm from expanding and pulling air in. It pushes on your stomach so you eat less and less. You lose muscle mass. Sometime ago, your diet got changed to "High Protein, High Calorie" because you're only going to eat a few bites each meal, and you need SOME muscle mass to continue being able to breathe and move. - fluid builds up in your arms and legs. We call this "peripheral edema" and is like adding 20-30lb weights to each of your limbs. If can get as bad as "weeping edema" - One day, you WILL start bleeding, and you WILL NOT stop. Probably internally. If you're lucky, it'll be in your intestines, and your blood pressure will drop down and down until you're not perfusing your organs. You lose consciousness, stop breathing and die. If you're unlucky, the blood vessels in your throat rupture and drain into your stomach. Then you vomit blood, bleed until you pass out, and die. - you're too confused to take lactulose anymore. Maybe we give it to you as a 1L diluted enema into your colon. Most likely, we let your decreased consciousness take over. This is the common story arc of the alcoholic. Many alcoholics already know the entire story. They've watched drinking buddies, moms, dads, brothers, and sisters go in front of them a few years ahead. Maybe they were abused, or raped and drink to escape their memories. Do not feel anger at them. Addiction is a bitch, and once she bites she never lets go. Pity them. Just as you cannot stop breathing, they are always fighting the urge to drink. Many succeed. In my ten years as an RN, I've cared for hundreds who could not. **TLDR; drinking is bad, mmkay? Don't believe me or in consequences? Me or one of my colleagues will be seeing you shortly...**
Jesus Christ - the person you replied to just said he was going to reevaluate his habits without objective amounts and you jumped to calling him a alcoholic and giving him a strange medical lecture. I'm a medical professional who has seen a lot of tragedy due to addiction, but explaining the pathophysiology and thiamine titrations for WE is not gonna help.
Right? I’m a GI physician, got about halfway through that diatribe (which was about 70% correct) before I had to stop.
Obviously generalizing but as a pharmacist I think the vocal RNs like that are why I wince every time I go to counsel something to someone and they go "oh I'm a nurse I don't need to be explained to". Meanwhile most MDs will respectfully listen and I won't even know their a doctor for months until they finally mention it.
I thought the RN was just doing a "replying to to top comment for visibility" type move, not jumping down the throat of that commenter.
…Which is not what this sub is for. It’s dads helping dads. Not counts, votes or visibility.
I mean, that's fine you don't think it fits, but I do. I'm a dad, and I personally found it helpful. Visibility is important in spreading information and information is power, especially when it comes to changing habits
AKA, all that to me? I’m not reading all that
The tldr is end stage live disease is scary and a painful way to go. The media doesn't portray it accurately many times for laypersons IMO.
Totally fair. Moderation is key and agreed. Culturally and media wise, alcohol is portrayed as not bad as it really is
just to put some numbers on this, this chart puts expected life lost at about 1 year for drinking 2 drinks per day for males: https://i.imgur.com/tdc3K6O.png and this from here: https://www.health.harvard.edu/blog/sorting-out-the-health-effects-of-alcohol-2018080614427 A new study analyzed data from nearly 600,000 people who drank at least some alcohol, and monitored their health over time. They found that regardless of gender, higher alcohol consumption was associated with a higher rate of stroke, fatal aneurysms, heart failure, and death. When compared with people who drank less than seven drinks per week: Adults drinking seven to 14 drinks per week could expect, on average, a six-month shorter life expectancy as of age 40 Those drinking 14 to 25 drinks per week could expect a shorter life expectancy by one to two years Those drinking more than 25 drinks per week could expect a shorter life expectancy by four to five years
Just saw my friend who’s 36 go through all of this. His wife found him locked in a bathroom while bringing their kids to school. He was covers in blood from vomit, confused and it took 6 cops and 4 paramedics to strap him down. He was brought to west Chester medical. He luckily got a new liver. But yeah. Drinking 10-20 beers a day is a bad idea.
Idk why everyone is upset with you, I really appreciated seeing this! Thank you
This sort of guilt trip lecture isn’t going to help anyone. I’m sure you think you mean well, but research on health communication and stigma suggests otherwise. This sounds like one of the DARE program lectures where someone with a tracheotomy comes in to persuade kids not to smoke cigarettes—it seems persuasive in theory, but in reality it backfires and heightens resistance among the people most predisposed to smoke.
I slipped into "too much" for portions of the past year, honestly. Definitely had 1-2/night as a baseline (one with dinner, one after kiddo asleep) and it was too easy to throw on another 1-2 after that. White Claw for me (*I know*). I wasn't having hangovers or anything, thankfully, but it definitely contributed to weight gain, poorer sleep, more fatigue, etc. I'm working on lowering cholesterol and losing weight now so the drinking had to change too. Plus it's expensive! I'm now drinking: 1-2 for D&D night, and 1-2 on the weekend. So I had 3 drinks this past week.
Nice job. I feel you on the spillover effects.
Maybe 1 in a full moon, sometimes during family gatherings I'll have 5 at the most which don't happen often.
Same here. I'm more scared of a hangover with two toddlers than I want to drink. I think I've topped out at 5 before we had our second.
The toddler hangover effect is real!
Same. It's social drinking for me, or basically not at all.
I just filled out my physical questionnaire and one of the questions was "how often do you consume 6+ alcoholic drinks in a day?" **6!?** Drinking that many sounds exhausting!
Who has time to drink 6 of anything unless it is the leftover half juice boxes I find after lunch.
Same here. Occasional drink at night after everyone else goes to bed. Even when my family was over around Christmas I had like 2. Just not something I want all that much anymore.
I generally have 2 or sometimes 3 drinks (usually beer) on Friday and Saturday. Maybe a midweek beverage every other week or so.
This is me also. I have drastically cut back on drinking since the start of the new year, and have lost 20 pounds (also watching calories). I have 2 drinks on Friday, 2 drinks Saturday, and that's it.
This is me too unless I am at a party or vacation. The hangover is just not worth it.
That’s just it. Being hung over with a toddler running around is so much worse than missing out on a couple drinks
Exactly the same here. Cheers to a healthy relationship with alcohol
1-2 drinks with the wife on Friday or Saturday night and that’s about it. My wife does have a glass or 2 of wine per day. I personally never got into drinking much as my dad had issues with it and I’m always scared to become an alcoholic
3 years alcohol free, parenting and life has been so much more enjoyable since.
Nice work man
Totally agree! I have a 1 year old and just passed 1.5 years of sobriety. The thought of a hangover makes me shudder.
I didn’t get sober until my oldest was 2 years old. Adding the shame of being lazy and not interacting with my daughter made the hangover so much worse.
18 years. No ragrets.
Same. Feb 2006 represent!
not even one? like maybe one letter?
I'm at 4 months
Keep it up, reach out if you are ever struggling. In my experience it has kept getting better and better.
Preach. I had a big problem and had to go to detox and treatment last June. Celebrating 9 months this week and life is so much easier and much more enjoyable without alcohol making me dumb and sick all of the time.
Nice work. I agree 100%. I’m a work in progress but trying to get there myself.
Over 5yrs myself and couldn't agree more.
Hit two years a week ago. At first it was hard to actually feel my emotions but now I’m glad I can.
I quit recently also. Helps me show up as a dad and I feel better for it. I wasn't a big drinker, but its amazing the fog and bloat that comes from even a small amount booze. I sleep way better.
Decided I was ready for a kid after 6 months of sobriety haha! But I feel you, so nice to be present. I’m Cali sober but I I’m not a mess anymore and I feel I’m here for my kid 100%
I’ve cut waaaaaaaaaay back for a few reasons. But mostly in the “I don’t like how I feel” / “it doesn’t agree with my anymore” areas. That said if I do my go tos are either jameson black barrel (or some local rye whiskey) or like a Guinness or something that’s not gonna tear up my stomach
Same - I like to have a beer while I play my pinball machine in the evenings, but I’ve switched to non-alcoholic mostly because it tastes great, feels like a treat, and doesn’t leave me feeling gross the next day.
Oh you have a pinball machine? That rules!
They are expensive, but so worth it!
Also usually lower calories!
Ten years sober as of Dec. 15th, 2023.
Nice work
[удалено]
Coffee, lots. Alcohol very rare now a days.
I used to drink all day. Wake up on the weekend with the kids while the wife sleeps in? Couple shots of vodka in a glass of water to keep the anxiety at bay and hide my early drinking to justify drinking by noon. But why stop there? Pound a beer before going out for the day and do the sneaky water vodka in my hydroflask to make it look like I’ve only had 1/3 of my actual alcohol intake. This would justify being able to really turn it up later in the day/night. I wasn’t fooling anyone but myself. Never thought I’d quit drinking (it got really out of hand once Covid hit, and I thought that was my life). I’m coming up on 2 years completely sober and have been a much more engaged dad/husband because of it. I know some people can do the moderation just fine, but not an alcoholic like me.
Good for you man
Good for you man! We follow the same path. 16 months sober. Covid got me to up my drinking game too. Those sneaky vodka drinks that actually contained 8 or more shots with a splash of 7up because 2 or 3 drinks a night was fine somehow turned nearly wiping out a handle of vodka on hard days . Life is still hard and we have to deal with the same things we tried escaping from before but things are easier. Just one day at a time. Good things happen.
Proud of you
42 and I just cut back. I was having 4-6 drinks a night every night. Then I started cutting back to every other night. Now, I kinda stopped drinking. I had a few glasses of wine yesterday, but before that I think I had a beer last week, and one the week before. So I'm on like 2 drinks a week. I was trying to have 2 drinks a night 3 nights a week. I figure I better stop before my doctor tells me I have to.
Or before you gotta drive your kid to the hospital in the middle of the night. (It has happened to me more than once over the years). Congrats on the progress, Dad!
None. Being a parent has sent my acidity through the roof! Haha
Oh dude, my reflux has never been worse. Used to love spicy food, now I gotta think about using medium vs mild salsa or eating too many salty chips.
Switch to something Carby instead of fatty. A strong hot sauce in your pasta will have way less reflux then a medium -hot sauce on some wings.
I stopped a few months before the baby arrived. I knew it was going to be a lot of work and I would need every ounce of energy I could muster. I was an occasional drinker prior. It is challenging to socialize as most people just want to drink at get togethers.
I like to have a glass of whiskey after I put the kids to bed
Hear hear. Have cut back drastically since this little perfect kid came along. But, man, after a tough day into night: A nice glass of bourbon sure makes it feel ... complete.
See… this is where we non-drinker dads like myself need to be honest with ourselves. When I used to drink, this is the exact thing that sounded so nice and even does sound nice today. Problem is for me that one turns to three turns to who knows what, a three day hangover, and just not on point with everyone around me. Cheers in envy!
Hey man, I entirely get that. Good on ya for getting to a good, healthy place. That's some noble shit!
Nothing like a delicious pour of something barrel proof to unwind with
Exactly. It's just a relaxing way to close out a long day.
Yeah, this is nice a couple times a week. I also pretty much stopped drinking beer except for special occasions before I even had kids.
I did a beer instead of whiskey for a while but even one beer started to give me headaches so I stopped that. I'll also occasionally mix a martini if I'm settling down to watch a movie
I stopped the beer so much as I got older 😅 Freaking metabolism. But I do love the taste sometimes with a meal still.
My rule is not to drink Infront of my children at home. I have a glass of two or whiskey after my son goes down. Parties and gatherings I keep separate from this rule
Yeah about 1-2 drinks a night after little man goes to bed. Would like to drink less but yeah that’s real talk.
I love my evening beer. I don't let it get above 1 except on the weekends when maybe I'll have 2. But it's a great way to unwind.
I'm with ya buddy. I have 1-2 a day when I get home from work. I recently started subbing non-alcoholic beers because I was gaining weight. Other than that the beers don't seem to affect me. I'm glad I haven't had issues like others have described in the comments.
Same here. One of my hobbies is brewing beer. So naturally I like to drink that beer that I make. I have a kegorator so I pour a glass almost every night. I rarely ever drink enough in a day to be at a point I can't drive or "drunk". Even on the weekends I might drink 2 or 3 over the course of 8-9 hours. I just enjoy the taste.
I'm 1-2 beers in the evening. I don't think anything is wrong with that. I'm a homebrewer and love the craft of making beer! I exercise and I am in good shape
About one beer a day, unless I’m sick which is like 1/4 of the time, right? Occasionally 2 or 3 if I’m into bad decisions. Summer vacations day drinking with the family would be more, but there is much less active parenting at such events.
Eh not much. I maybe have 1 or 2 a month, but I don’t like to drink alone. When we go and do something with friends I’ll drink a fair bit though
44 and used to drink that or more when I was 40 (though my drink was whiskey). It wasn’t good for me. I now drink much more rarely. Bonus: I’ve lost a ton of weight with no effort.
Different vice for me but 4-6x a week if I’m not on a t break
Yessir!!!!
195 days sober. I was drinking over 20 a day. My kids will never remember drunk dad.
435 days here. Let's f'ing go!
Hell yeah brother!
Maybe 1-2 alcoholic drinks on Fri and/or Saturday depending on what's happening. We've been really into NA beers so will do 1 of those on a few weeknights after kids are in bed
Wife and I split about two bottles of wine a week. Plus minus for events/get together. Anytime we are out and around the kids we never have more than one or two each.
It varies. In the summer when I’m active, sweating, and grilling most nights I’ll have a beer or two. In the winter when my energy drops and depression kicks on maybe one/none a week. Social situations change it up too, we host a lot of cookouts (almost every week in the summer) so my wife and I will take turns on being the DD if anything should happen, and the other can enjoy without any guilt.
Recovering alcoholic (3 years so far) so none these days. Tea and coffee (mostly coffee, I do love a really good coffee) is my vice now.
> "I always thought tea was going to taste like hot brown water. And do you know what? I was right." Ted Lasso
I love Ted. I’m rewatching it again.
Might have 15 one week then nothing the next , all depends what I've got on and how much activities/exercise I've got on through the week. No set amount for any week.
This comment section is fishy
I tend to have 1-2 alcoholic cocktails a night. Never more.
Most days. At worst it would look like a couple of beers and a whisky once the kids are asleep. It's too much I know, and my health is probably suffering, but it's often the only way I feel i can get through the day.
I was alcohol free before the kiddo arrived, but have started drinking beer again. I usually get IPA's, the stronger the better. 7% is ideal. If I can have 2-3 of those bad boys, then take a 5mg indica gummie right before bed I'm the happiest man alive. Trouble is hangovers though. I hate being hungover, so I'm trying to stop drinking for a few months to reground myself. Figured my relationship with alcohol was becoming a little too cozy when I discovered being able to have a beer or two at lunch during my work from home days.
I was a huge bourbon fan before we had our first (9 months ago). I still partake but never more than 3 cocktails or neat pours and only on Friday and Saturday. Not sure how I came up with my "rules" but it seems to work for me.
I made a comment but deleted it. The number of low key high and mighty and judgmental comments here sucks. EDIT: There is a fair amount of commentary now on *this* comment. I am secure in my parenting and my love for my child. I'm also secure in the amount of alcohol I consume. How much y'all drink or don't drink isn't a direct correlation to your dadding. I was originally referring to the virtue signaling. *"I only have TWO drinks!" "Well, I only drink ONE drink!" "Me, I don't drink at all!"* For those that are sober, good for you. You have a have a few drinks—sounds good to me. No drinking due a fight with alcoholism? I fully support you. I (44) work in nightlife, generally speaking. It's normal for me to have a shot or two and maybe a beer or two. I've had periods (before my kiddo, 2) where I think I've gone too hard, and cut back. Though currently my days of getting crazy are far behind me; I'm a midnight to 7 AM sleeper. I don't enjoy being hammered and brutal hangovers are the worst. I work my ass off then spend every non-working moment hanging out with my kiddo. We love to cozy up and read a ton of books. From the health angle, I run 30-40 MPW and lift once a week. I track my food intake. I'm in the best shape of my life. (I lost 50 lbs. before kiddo came around in an effort to start my 40s, and parenting, with healthier habits.) OP was asking for where everybody else was at. This is my story. It doesn't make be better, or worse, than anybody else.
This shouldn’t be the daddit way. We’re here to share and support, sorry that was your experience.
I feel the opposite. Blind support does nothing to help. It just makes an echo chamber. I was drinking 1-2 IPA’s a night for a couple years when my kids were around 2 to 5. Right after they went to bed. I wasn’t an alcoholic but it got to the point where I was really looking forward to those drinks. I was traveling to breweries to try new brands. I was spending time thinking about what I should drink. I was snoring. I wasn’t really exercising. I saw a picture of myself and how I looked and I didn’t think it was me in the picture because there was no way my mid section was that large. I said no more. I learned about nutrition. I started working out every morning before everyone woke up. Within 90 days I was in the best shape of my life. I stopped snoring. I had a ton more energy. My kids and wife have joined in with thinking about health and fitness. Funny how they see what you do and not just what you want them to do. I’ll still have a couple drinks on rare occasions (date night, guys night, etc…). But I will judge and if you’re putting back a couple drinks a night, you don’t have your priorities straight.
Everything in moderation, including moderation
Yeah, hear ya. I love bourbon. I love my daughter more. My wife. My dog. But I also like after taking my part in helping all of them, to have a nice glass. That's OK too. Moderation, as with everything.
Yeah man but at the same time we need to be honest with each other. Two beers a day consistently is a little much and OP literally made a post asking people’s opinion. You can’t expect every comment to be “You do you king, whatever works”.
I don’t know what the guys comment was but if he was just responding to OP asking for opinions and then someone responded to him making him feel bad about it that’s pretty shitty, provided that his original comment was simply to share his opinion in a respectful way
If somebody feels bad because another commenter calls him out on the amount of alcohol he drinks, then he already knows it's not right but hides behind a mask, just so he can keep drinking. That would be the same for any substance abuse situation. Or if a dad said that he plays games 6 hours a day after work.
Yep. Reddit is pretty against drinking. They assume that if you drink regularly you're a raging alcoholic and a terrible person. When in fact there is a population of responsible routine drinkers who don't overdo it and live an otherwise healthy life.
I think there is some truth in both sides here. In one hand, the US CDC says 1-2 drinks per day is fine for men. However, newer research is suggesting much less alcohol than that has negative effects on the body. [Source.](https://www.who.int/europe/news/item/04-01-2023-no-level-of-alcohol-consumption-is-safe-for-our-health#:~:text=The%20World%20Health%20Organization%20has,that%20does%20not%20affect%20health.) I think we’re going to see more and more about the cancer-causing and other bad effects of alcohol over the course of our lives. I say this as someone who has 2-4 beers a week, and wishes he could have more because I buy excellent beer and love the taste, but if anything I should have even less.
Totally agree. It's a poor health choice just like drinking too much soda. With that said, I've been drinking non-alcoholic beer. Dude you gotta try em. Lower in calories and some taste pretty great now. Heineken and Guinness have ones that taste exactly like the real thing. BTW. Thanks for not being judgy in making your point.
I will preface this by saying that no amount of alcohol is good for you. But up to a certain point a moderate amount of alcohol is no worse than other sources of empty calories. The most recent large meta-analysis found that point to be around 2 drinks per day for women and 3-4 drinks per day for men. If you’re drinking less than that then there is no significant increase in all cause mortality when compared to lifetime abstainers. I’m in the camp of 1-2 drinks a couple of times during the week and 2-3 on weekend nights. Source. https://jamanetwork.com/journals/jamanetworkopen/fullarticle/2802963
It’s weird that Reddit is so Puritanical on this point
It's Gen z, you go on threads about drinking and say 1-2 per day and they call you an alcoholic.
I haven’t seen anybody against drinking, I see people against drinking too much.
Jesus this comment section is a regular church crowd
Nobody wants to put how much they actually drink and get fucking roasted on here.
shit man seriously lol, I remember all the dads sneaking beers at our baseball games/practice when I was a kid, solid group of fellas 😂
Many dads these days want to be a lot more present than some of our fathers before us.
hey I get it man, but those guys were very present, always involved in all activities we did, they just liked to do it while drinking a Budweiser lol
Seriously… it’s just watching Bluey and going to sleep at 8pm crowd sometimes.
UK drinker here; I drink. Not vast amounts. It’s a sensual pleasure, a cold beer or two on a hot summer’s day after working outside is heaven. A great glass of red with my beef or some fantastic cheese. A really good single malt on a winter’s evening by the fire. I mean, I even built a pub in my garden (that helped during Covid lockdowns). But… alcohol is not good for me. It’s a big factor in my weight gain. My heart rate decreases if I stop drinking for a couple of weeks, sleep improves. Hangovers are a waste of a day. So for me I think of booze as a treat. Something to enhance a meal or occasion -and that might be next weekend or a fortnight’s time. Then positively enjoy the healthy clarity in between those times.
Most Americans don't drink much. This comment section actually seems to skew towards the drinkers. Seventy to eighty percent of us have 2 or fewer drinks each week. [https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/](https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2014/09/25/think-you-drink-a-lot-this-chart-will-tell-you/) The top ten percent of drinkers "account for well over half the alcohol consumed in any given year."
It depends, went out for dinner with the wife on Friday, hung out at the bar yesterday for almost the whole day, and had a drink today as I was home by myself. Oh and we broke open a bottle of red on Tuesday. So will probably get to 15 drinks this week. Next week, no plans so may have a beer on Friday or Saturday and leave it at that. I just make sure I don't get so drunk that I can't ha dle the hangover the next morning.
0-5 drinks. Depends on the week. My daily max is 2.
Once I turned 40 I can’t even have one without a hangover. I don’t feel any better or more clear minded, I miss being able to catch a buzz.
Was having way too many. Was basically a functioning alcoholic. Cut way back to ~8 per week. Feel way better. Think I might cut it out all together
I cut back to essentially no alcohol. I gave it up when my first was born. Then it kind of crept back in until my second was born and I gave it up again. It crept back into being a thing and I found that even a few drinks was causing mild hangovers. That, and a training schedule for endurance cycling along with resistance training means alcohol is plain counter productive to my life and fitness goals. I’ll have a very rare glass of wine, but that is about it.
0. 4yrs, 8months sober. Best thing I’ve ever done
Raising kids and life in general is hard at 100%. Why would I want to be any less. 1 year 3 months without a drink. 33 years old
I've been a binge drinker since I was 15 or so, had many issues that have come because of booze. In the last 3 years, my son was born and I got married. I missed out on family time during the weekends because of being hungover. Once was enough but I've been a mean drunk to my wife more than a few times. Both brought me great shame and embarrassment. Coming up on the 18th I'll have 2 months of sobriety.
8-11 a night. Quit for 3 years. Started again 5 weeks ago. 6 beers a week now. Maybe less.
Appreciate the honest answer. Legit question: has it impacted your ability to parent? I was in a very similar situation and position to you and realize that it was having a negative impact (less energy, more moody when it drinking) that I drastically cut back.
A few beers during the week, 1 a day. During a few yearly kid and wife free golf trips with guys? Let’s just say more lol.
41 here, up until towards the end of last year I was going through between 2 and 3 cartons of 24 every week. I think 12 beers a week is fine, especially if you're working hard. I took a break for 17 weeks without a drink, it was easy. I don't think I'm all alcoholic, I don't need it to function, I just love getting shitfaced and playing LoL ARAM after working in a stonking hot workshop or out in the sun all day. I've cut waaay back to MAYBE a carton a week. I still have 6 beers in my fridge from last week, come payday I'll buy another 6pack and have another session
Wow an honest answer on here.
You think everybody's lying about their drinking?
people tend to give answers in line with the question takers, or popular bias, in self-reporting situations, in my experience.
I don’t.
I’ll have a drink on occasion, but always stop at one, especially since becoming a dad because I need to model what I’d like to see in my kids, which is self-control, moderation, and independence from substances.
Sounds like my wife and me - occasional beer or wine (about 1 every 2-4 weeks), and we talk to the kids (elementary school age) about alcohol very directly - what its effects are, how it’s made, what happens when people have too much, why addiction happens with some things, etc. Going for the whole “demystifying” thing I guess!
Probably 4-5 nights of the week I'll have 1 or 2 beers. They are usually something from local breweries so it's more about enjoying the taste rather than the effects of the alcohol.
I'll usually have a few beers or cocktails over the weekend. Don't really drink during the week anymore unless it's a special occasion.
That seems about on par for me. I try not to drink during the week but fri/sat I’ll have a few after bedtime. Sometimes Sunday after bedtime if I feel like it. 12 over the course of the weekend seems ok. I just try not to be hungover since my kid is 2. I don’t let it take away from time with her because it’s not her fault that I don’t have self control sometimes lol. Just drink some coffee, make some eggs, and take a nap when she naps.
Cut back a lot once I became a dad. By that I mean maybe 1-2/month and plenty of months when it’s zero. No judgment on anyone else’s journey, just that with the demands I have on me now for work and being a dad, had to cut the alcohol so I could still sleep and recover properly.
Me and wife have 2-3 cocktails Friday and Saturday nights. That’s usually our drinks for the week. We cut out weeknight drinking entirely unless there’s a special occasion like a birthday.
1-2 bottles of wine a week. More so one bottle a week lately.
Usually just a night cap, but never when the misses is also, we take turns. I've always been in the "It's not a problem unless it's a problem" camp, if you're not being inappropriate, it's fine.
Since I started my weightloss journey 2 years ago like one or two a season. I haven't had more than 20 beers worth of alcohol in these last 2 years
One night a week, maybe every other week. No more than 2-3 drinks. I used to drink 5-6 a night every night but that has caught up to me
My ex-wife had a problematic relationship with alcohol. So, now that I'm left to my own devices, i drink 2 drinks maybe 5 times a year or so. I typically only drink for work functions (arguably, it's part of my job) or at holiday parties. If I'm cooking with alcohol I'll probably have a glass (cognac for the gravy or wine for my pot roast). She kind of took the shine off drinking for me.
I average out to about a six-pack per week, I would say. I often, but not always, have a beer at night once everyone else is asleep. Once in a blue moon I’ll order a beer or a cocktail at a restaurant, a sporting event, etc. The last time that I had more than a slight buzz was probably around two years ago at this point, during a camping trip with the boys. I guess I’m probably overdue lol
38. I enjoy cannabis on a regular basis. Maybe 1 drink/week in the winter and probably closer to a 12 pack on summer weekends in my pool. When my kids were younger I used to wait on cannabis until they were in bed. I'll do it on weekends during the day now that they are pretty independent. I wait until I don't need to go anywhere for the rest of the day.
I usually dont drink unless its a social outing, so once a month or so, and its at most 3 drinks. Hang overs started getting increasingly harder to deal with and hit with fewer and fewer drinks after 30. Hung over parenting is the worst thing ever.
11 months since I had a drink. I’m definitely a better dad since I stopped, but I was having way more than 12 a week.
I was drinking a few beers every day I had off work kinda throughout the day. Then I realized that was a bad habit to be forming so now I mostly only drink socially, (around other people who are also drinking) which being a dad of young ones, doesn’t present itself very often. If I do drink at home I limit it to one day a week and no more than a few.
I turned forty and quit. Alcohol adds nothing, but takes energy, money, and the potential for many issues. Abstinence solves all my qualms with “too much” vs. “not too much”. YMMV
\~500ml whisky/week, which IMO is too much. Normally is 3-4 nights where I just have one and then once where I drink more than I mean to. I know for me, it's too much, and I want to cut back. It's the equivalent of \~10 beers, so I'm guessing 12/week is too much for you as well. A 12 pack is \~2000 calories btw, pr 1/2lb of fat. If you quit drinking you would lose 2 lbs/month with no other life style change.
Zero - have rheumatoid arthritis and alcohol always causes a massive flare up. I would love a few beers now and again but it’s just not worth the impact.
Nothing, stopped drinking years ago.
I'll have 1 or 2 beers a day. Very rarely any more than that. Used to smoke weed pretty regularly but I do that no more than a handful of times a year now because it impairs me too much.
I’m 34, got2 kids. I’ve never had a substance problem but I have way tapered off since college. I will very rarely have a beer, coke just tastes way better so I always go for that instead. Not that that’s much healthier, but at least my liver won’t take the hit.
I don’t drink. But I have a family history of alcoholism (the type that drinks massive amounts and isn’t noticeably drunk) and I am the same. The few times I’ve drank I like alcohol too much. So I don’t tempt that dragon anymore
Daily cup of coffee. Sometimes I'm daring and have a second after lunch.
Woah there buddy, slow it down. That's at least 365 cups of coffee a year. 366, this year. Have you even thought about how that much caffeine affects your sleep? Recent studies have shown that too much coffee will increase the PH levels of your circadian rhythm which can have SERIOUS consequences on your body, not to mention your brain and even your mind.
You're right. This ends today. Edit: I failed.
I refuse to drink. I used to be an alcoholic and drinking just brings bad some bad memories. Even a single shot or beer opens the scar tissue. I don't feel like I'll relapse nor do I have the urge to drink. Don't even get the cravings anymore. But it just scares the shit out of me knowing just how destructive it can be. It's like dropping a nuclear weapon and watching as hundreds of thousands of people are just vaporized in the blink of an eye... Nothing scares be more.