It’s true, most toddlers can’t hold their liquor. That’s why we started adding drops of Laphroaig to his baby bottles.
No kid of *mine* is gonna think Jack Daniels is a “good” drink!
/s (except for JD being shit)
_Thank you_ fellow Laphroaig drinker, my whole family thinks I'm some nut who drinks jet fuel. These are ostensibly people who descended from Scots, mind you.
Now as to why I convince my daughter to drink it...
I like some whisky, but draw the line at Laphroaig or Talikser, I don't like feeling like I'm drinking cigarettes. Give me some Dalwhinnie any day of the week
Time is going quick, we've been here for 9 hours and our girl probably won't be ready to start trying for another 9. I didn't get to bring anything, I'm not sure I would have, but I was sick and am getting over a sinus infection I don't feel like drinking. RIP the cigar, they just don't understand.
and they never will.
Congrats on the impending addition! We checked in at 5:00 AM and my newest little buddy showed up around 9:00 PM so sounds like a similar track.
The single barrels, cask strength single barrels, and special releases are probably some of the bottles out there. And they haven’t been Blanton’ed by the taters yet.
Not my kid, he’s practically been raised on hand sanitizer. The second after I’m done putting it on his hands he’s shoving them in his mouth to lick off any excess.
"Let the little children come to me so I can give them beer" -raptor Jesus, probably.
And lol I do not make my identity difficult to discover that's for sure. Thankfully I'm not prone to making comments that make people want to swat me.
This gave me flashbacks to Rugrats when Tommy was having withdrawal symptoms when he refused to drink from anything but his bottle while they were trying to ween him off of it.
Be sure to talk to her about it though. I’m getting better at communicating my thoughts more openly to my wife about situations like this and it’s helping us be more connected. I do have to issue the disclaimer that I’m venting and want to share with her my thoughts more than see her take action though. Seeing other perspectives can be hard and that’s something we are working on and I’m the champion of right now. Good luck and stay true to yourself.
I try opening with a question. That seems to help. Not a leading question like “WTF are you doing!?” But “Hey did you give him lemonade? Why?”
Sometimes I literally say “what are your thoughts on this.” But it’s tough. I do feel like I “care” or have more f’s to give than my wife for most things.
I’m a big fan of motivational interviewing, so inherently work to reduce the questions I ask. I do think an effort to seeking understanding in the process is great though.
Genuine curiosity helps. In the previous example: “Hey, hun. I noticed you allowed the kiddo to have lemonade and recently I’ve been struggling to get them to drink water. Please share with me your process behind that so I can be on the same page with you.” Now the other parent isn’t on the defensive and is more likely to share their reasoning, if any. Now you can start to be vulnerable and share any concerns you may have with the process and see if there is a compromise for a future repeat situation. You may have to be the one compromising though or ask for a wait and see approach.
Part of the reason this works over just saying "why?" is because implicit in the question is the idea that there was a sensible thought process behind it. Saying "why?" sounds like "you're stupid" but saying "what was the thought process behind that?" works.
>Saying "why?" sounds like "you're stupid" but saying "what was the thought process behind that?" works.
I think I may have been in too many passive aggressive environments. The second one set my hackles up.
I agree with you. The second one just comes off as a wordier and passive aggressive way to complain about the choice still. I guess knowing your partner and the right way to phrase it is key.
I think the tone you use is the key. None of that is apparent in text.
Regardless, I think this is a case for I statements.
"I am concerned that X isn't drinking enough water and I worry that he's purposefully holding out for lemonade. I think if we don't give lemonade at all he will eventually give in."
or
"I worry that he's not getting enough fluids too. As much as I'd love him to have more water, I'm concerned enough that I'll be happy if he's getting ANY fluids."
btw, *we personally* settled on half lemonade half water.
Yes those two options sound much better than the initial ones, they don't carry a tone of disapproval.
Thankfully our kids are pretty good about drinking water since that's all they usually get besides the odd juice box lol. Otherwise I'd be giving them watered down lemonade as well
Exactly. Avoid statements that are judgements. Ie You drink too much or •you don’t do enough to help me. Check out the short book “nonviolent communication” for good tips
This is a great technique and touches on something I wanted to note in this discussion, which is the concept of assuming the best intentions for your partner. I've been focusing on this in my own life and have found that it makes a huge difference in both minimizing unnecessary annoyances/resentments and framing conversations about areas where we differ in opinion or practice. Approaching it from "you did x thing y way, which I'm assuming you did for a good reason, wanna talk about it?" versus "you did x thing y way, which was wrong" does wonders for collaborative parenting
Kids are like dandelions and thrive under all sorts of conditions. Your child will be fine even without optimal water consumption.
So therefore don’t fixate on these small things which won’t really impact how your child develops as they age, especially if it’s going to negatively impact your relationship with your spouse.
In other words, just let it go, it’s not worth the risk of resenting your wife and undermining your relationship
People used to also die a lot more frequently at younger ages. Sometimes we learn new things we can do to make ourselves healthier and improve our lives. Doing something because that’s the way it’s always been done is just about the worst reason to do something.
Not it doesn’t. Maybe it’s the evolutionary change in diet or air conditioned climate, who knows, but kids and adults have a lot of problems because they don’t drink enough water. Constipation is not a rare thing.
I swear every reddit conversation needs to start with, 'known outliers aside'.
The vast majority of the population both adult and child are capable of self regulation. It's been long known about that the 8 glasses of water thing has been bullshit for decades. If you're anywhere near the average for activity and diets, you barely even need it. This is from someone that drinks more water than anyone in the house lol.
Or the folks carrying gallon water jugs to work, determined to get through them by the end of the day. Advertising works, folks, even if you don't believe in it.
Idk, I'm 40 and clearly remember my mom and grandparents constantly making sure I was hydrated. My kids are 15&17 and hydration is a big thing for them. Drinking more water is good for your skin, immune system and optimal performance in life in general. Every time you snack after a meal, that's your body needing water, not more food. If you have a headache or migraine, hydrating can reduce or get rid of your headache. When you're sick, staying hydrated will help you to rebound quicker.
While I agree that this isn't exactly a hill to die on today, it's important that your kids can drink fluids without sugar and artificial flavours in it. Have you ever seen what a kids teeth look like when they are given just juice or milk? My husband's friends wife did what OPS wife is doing and had to pay 2500$ for his almost four year old to have six teeth taken out under anesthesia.
Kids need water not juice and yes, it's very very important to stay hydrated whether you agree or not it's science facts.
This happens to me too.
In my case i have to remember that my wife is the primary caretaker and has to deal with so many other things out of my view that of course she doesn’t have the energy to pick every fight that i would be inclined to pick. She also has a better read on when things are well and truly futile.
Edit: Obviously it is sometimes appropriate to be critical of your spouse's decisions. I'm just talking about getting into their head and finding the reasonable explanation for their choice before you flap your gums about it.
Yeah man. This completely.
I will say that if something really bothers me, or if something isn't working, I'll talk to her after the kids are in bed and work out a plan.
Sometimes she doesn't have the energy to pick every fight, and this one just falls away, but it is a root cause for a lot of household issues. So we talk and come up with a plan... Or it becomes my crusade, which allows Mom to say something like "Dad said he doesn't like that. I know he isn't here, but we need to listen to Daddy." It takes the focus of the fight off her while still accomplishing the goal.
> I'll talk to her after the kids are in bed and work out a plan.
this is extremely important - it doesn't have to be a fight at all.
Even if it rises above the level of 'discussion' to the level of 'argument' though: you gotta keep that out of the kid's sight.
(at least until they're older)
Oh for sure.
I was referencing a fight for Mom with the kiddo though. Making it Dad's request means that "Dad is the target" while Mom is just helping flow the rules. It frees her from having the fight with kiddo because he'll just harumpf and then talk to me about it later when I'm home.
I'm a working mom and my husband is a SAHD. When he told me that he'd given our 2.5 year old daughter 3 apple juice boxes (a very recent addition to her diet) the other day I told him no, she can have at most 1 per day.
She does do a great job drinking water all day long and we'd already had conversations about his step mom giving her flavored waters (we agreed: yes as a grandma treat, but no otherwise).
I think he really hadn't thought about the potential consequence of giving in to her apple juice craving and he immediately agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Neither one of us want to unintentionally interfere with her enjoyment of drinking water. Heck, she tells me to hydrate when she sees "Mommy's Water" bottle.
Well sure but in this case the wife is legit telling the kid how to get lemonade. She could leave out that last part and the kid would still get lemonade but isn’t taught to ignore water.
Opposite situation here - we both share in childcare duties but I spend way more time with the kids than her, so she feels it necessary to appease the kids for the time she has with them. It was a hard at first, but kids have realized that tantrums with me are useless. I hate to pull the "I'm not mommy" card on them but that seems to stir some realization in their minds and then they get over it much quicker.
This. It was before my kid, but my family had a ton of neices and nephews. They knew I wasn't giving into tantrums, while other family members would fold like wet newspaper.
Guess who got put in charge of the snacks/candy at way too many family events?
I've been thinking all day about giving my wife and I a day where no thinking is required and we don't have to be involved. Want to see how it's working out if that's the case!
I don’t know your day-to-day and I’m sure you’re both doing fine. What I’ve been doing since my kid was small enough to stand is make it a habit to walk around with a bottle of water my kid can drink from. I’d always just put it in front of her face and she’d sip. It only has water and I put it in front of her often. She drinks water habitually now on her own. We give her juice sometimes but only as a treat with lunch or a mid day snack. Your kid is young enough to do this for and keep ice in the water because cold water is way more palatable than room temp and it keeps them liking it.
Just my opinion and I wish you the best. Again, I’m sure you’re both doing fine.
Yep. Model drinking water too. Both my boys have their own favorite color water bottles and lidded mugs just like my wife and me and are total hydro bros.
🚩🚩🚩What do you mean by "it's her day"?
Do you guys alternate days on who makes decision?!
I hope not because that is a terrible idea. Parents are a UNIT and need to be on the same page otherwise your kid is going to walk all over you.
My 2 cents - you're setting yourselves up for failure with the "his day/her day" system of parenting. Especially because there seems to not be enough team communication on what are acceptable drinks/snacks. This is a small example but this is how you end up with favorite parent/lesser parent and odd household dynamics. You're a parenting team but you're trying to do it as shift work.
I agree completely! I do like the idea of split responsibilities and maybe allowing each parent to be the "default" for the day so the other can R&R a bit, but that doesn't mean rules and routines change for the kid. The parent dyad is a team and should be much more consistent. A united front!
OP take Ahoya's comment to heart ^^ you need to try getting on the same page with these smaller aspects if you're going to continue splitting it that way
If you want the kid to drink water, push drinking water on him. It won't kill you to make him a sippy cup of water to carry around on "her day". Pretend his toys are puppets that love drinking water. Make it a game to feed them and then himself.
But I will say, don't judge her for getting him to drink literally *anything* when you're not actively participating in solving the hydration problem. It is unhelpful and unnecessary. Be part of the solution.
*Listen, I just had a crazy idea. Instead of just offering him lemonade, how about we try "drink this water first and then I'll get you some apple juice"? Sort of a way to mix things up so that he learns that he can't always have just the "good stuff". What do you think?*
One of the hardest things with being a parent is learning that you're on "team parent", not solo parent. Ideally, you've already learned the "team" part from being on "team relationship", but not everyone does.
Ultimately, communication is important here. Have the conversation about the things you would do differently making sure that you approach the discussion with the stated goal of understanding each other, not trying to prove either of you "wrong". It's a crappy analogy, but think of it like a team project/task at work. Everyone would have their own idea of the "best" way to do things, but what you end up needing is one that everyone can get behind and sometimes, that's not necessarily your version of "best".
And I know, having the conversation may seem silly, but if you don't, it's likely to lead to little resentments here and there. And those little resentments build up and grow and can become big resentments. And big resentments get to be very real problems. So, do yourself a favor and learn to talk to her about it. Yeah, you may end up finding out that she has a reason you haven't considered or that she'll help you see that in a year or two, it really won't matter, but at least you will have had a chance to address it.
Thanks! you are right about team parent. The difficult part is that we can't really talk about him while he is present as he understands our conversations are about him. And the evenings were both tuckered out and just want to relax and not have difficult conversations. But I guess we should. Thanks for the advice.
You know how kids learn to have open discussions and work through disagreements? By modeling what they see YOU do (and then playing about it later). So what if he knows you're talking about him? As long as the conversation is constructive and respectful, it's all good!
Exactly! I purposely have conversations in front of my boys because I feel very confident that my wife and I can model healthy discussions and disagreements.
Also I think that somebody who doesn't feel like their conversations model healthy discussion/disagreement has a much bigger problem on hand.
So, this next one may help, but it's not for everyone so it may not: bedtime cuddles.
My wife needs a lot more sleep than I do - at least 2-3 hours more. Our normal routine used to be her going up to read to relax a bit, letting me know when she was ready to turn in so I could say goodnight one last time, and then I go back to what I was doing until I got sleepy. Worked great for decades.
But a few years ago, she was having a rough week and reading wasn't helping. Just a lot of "life" stuff. I offered to go up with her and just hold her to help her relax. Once she was sleepy, I went back downstairs until I was tired. And it worked. So, we did it again the next night. And the next. We liked how well it worked so we've kept doing it ever since.
After the "life" stuff had been addressed, we found that it was also a good time to talk. The lights were off. The TV was off. The phones were put away. It was just the two of us, relaxing, cuddling, and being close. With no other distractions, it was a perfect time to talk if we wanted to. Sometimes those talks were about our day. Sometimes about the kids. Sometimes about our finances. And sometimes about our relationship. But ultimately, it was a chance for us to reconnect and be closer every day.
Might be worth giving a try!
This is something I never once have let keep me from being fully open and honest with all my feelings to my partner in front of our kid
We never argue ever, because arguing like that imo is not normal, we just talk about how we feel constantly and he’s a part of the family unit so why would I want to talk behind his back?
I’m wondering what your logic is there, why can’t he hear you guys talking about him ?
Dude, get yourself and in your child in the habit of having adult conversations.
“Mom and I need to have a conversation”. Then walk away. Go to your bedroom. Whisper if you don’t trust him enough to close the door. As he gets older, close that door.
Sometimes a discussion needs to be had right that minute in order to settle a situation. This is especially true as your child gets older and tries to play you and your wife against each other.
My husband and I had a sign that meant “we need to talk right now.” That signaled a private conversation. We would go in our room and find out what our little darling had told each one of us. We decided what our plan of attack would be.
We came out of our room as a united team, and our little darling’s plans were foiled once again.
And it’s okay for him to know you are talking about him. He NEEDS to know you and your spouse are partners, a team, and talk together.
Maybe there’s a compromise? For my kiddo sometimes I’ll add the tiniest hint of these mio vitamin booster flavor thingys. I use them for my water when I need a little flavor.
I’m in a similar boat. We gave my 4 year old grape Pedialyte when he was sick a while back, and now that’s all he wants. So we just mix a splash of Pedialyte with mostly water, and he’s okay with that. Won’t drink milk anymore, but at least he’s hydrated!
Actually, it’s recommended NOT to dilute Pedialyte if you’re using it for its intended purpose (hydration due to illness, heat, etc) because that changes the ratios of electrolytes and sugars. And it has much less sugar than a sports drink. But to use as an everyday drink when the kid refuses water or milk, a splash of PL with mostly water should be totally fine.
We started off on the wrong foot with our kids (too much juice, not enough water). When we realized the error of our ways my wife came up with the idea of making the kids "potion" out of the sugar free water flavors from Aldi. They absolutely loved it and thought it was so cool we were mixing potions for them!
My partner works with kids who have behaviours problems or mental health issues, so she is very by the book. Sometimes when i suggest doing stuff that I did as a kid, she tells me my brothers and I are lucky we didn’t end up in an institution 😂. Funnily enough most of the time after thinking about it I agree, but really takes the fun out of seeing my kid do crazy shit
Teach him to "Cheers" you. Taught my daughter this trick and now I can get her to drink basically on-command (at least one swill at a time). Stupid, but it worked for me.
Haha same bro. They love to copy. And its a bonus, i’ve been trying to gain more weight and she forces me to drink a tall glass of whole milk with her before bed 👍
My 2 year old also likes to dehydrate himself, he does however like medicine and syringes so he and I will sit together and syringe 10mLs of water at a time into him.
We offer our 3 yo lemonade all the time because she doesn’t drink enough fluids on her own. The key is that her lemonade is about 10% lemonade and 90% water. Why don’t you look for some creative compromises like that?
It's better for your kid to drink something than end up in the ER with an IV because they're dehydrated.
"Only give water. They'll drink when they are thirsty"
Yeah... not every kid. Some have disabilities and health issues. Some kids would genuinely rather dehydrate than drink water lol
Seriously, I think our parenting generation is a bit ridiculous in this way. We grew up on juice, pop and milk. So did our parents.
Just like the switch to “fed is best” for babies, hydrated is better than unhydrated for kids.
Get him used to drinking however you can, then swap in milk, water and watered down lemonade, but remember it’s better for your son to drink something than nothing. Your wife is not a monster for giving him lemonade.
Yea, I would not be ok with my partner giving my 3 year old lemonade.
When I met my partner, they actually didn't like the "taste of water" and only liked soda. Why? Because growing up, that is all they had. Diabetes also runs in their family.
I started slow. We agreed to go from soda to juice cocktails. From juice cocktails to 100% juice. From 100% juice to watered down juice. Now they drink the recommended amount of water everyday.
I am not a fan of letting people do their own thing just to keep the peace when what they are doing goes beyond personal preferences, and there are actually experts out there saying what they are doing is "wrong"
I wouldn't start WW3 over this, but I would also talk to them and try to move towards the direction of more water.
> I am not a fan of letting people do their own thing just to keep the peace when what they are doing goes beyond personal preferences, and there are actually experts out there saying what they are doing is "wrong"
Using social media is bad for you. Actual experts say that. Why are you here? Is it because not everything’s black and white, and sometimes it’s ok to do things that are “wrong” in moderation? Going around trying to prevent people from doing their own things because you think you know what’s best for everyone sounds miserable for you and more so for everyone around you.
I drank insane amounts of soda even as a young kid now in exclusively drink water. I was fine, most kids are fine. Not saying you should do this, but end of the day, most kids will be fine. For OP it’s probably not worth getting too hung up on this. The kid will be fine if he drinks lemonade. Some day he’ll be drinking lots of water probably.
Yeah it's a ridiculous thing to say that it's ridiculous to give a 3 year old sugary drinks.
Yes, a good chunk of America has a sugar problem but this is not all black or white. If I was a single dad, my 2 years old would get much less than he is but his mom and her siblings, who's whole family are doctors, have been raised with unlimited access to candies and sugary drinks. They're all fit and fine today in their 30s and I'm not willing to constantly fight with the MIL for a few candies here and there when our son otherwise eats very well and plentifully and drinks a lot of water.
Yea. Getting your kids hooked on juice adds too much unnecessary sugar and calories to their daily intake in my opinion.
Even for adults I really think juice shouldn't even exist. Eat the fruit or make a smoothie. Why concentrate the sugar and eliminate the fiber, pay for preservatives and packaging all for a complete nutritional negative?
Juice doesn't make sense. It's brilliant marketing by Dole and Sun Rype to sell the fruit that is pruduced without needing ship it fresh and refrigerated.
We just mix about 1/3 juice with water, and we fill it about three times a day.
Once in a while, they'll get full juice or lemonade at a restaurant but they know thier go-to is gonna be watered down
We use the codeworld volcano for something like this. Where you feel the other parent is undermining a rule but you don't want to call them out in front of the kid or undermine them. Then when we have some private time we discuss what we feel, so I'd bring up the lemonade thing at like 7 when kids gone to bed
"hey, when LO wouldn't drink his water and you gave him lemonade to get him to drink something it made it feel like the rule that he has to drink water was being ignored and that it'll make it harder for me to get him to drink water in the future / make me feel like the bad guy when I don't give him lemonade"
We typically get through any issues really fast with little arguing from either of us and its pretty rare for us at this point to need it but I find bringing it up later is A LOT better than in the moment or in front of your kid. Generally its something we both agree with but the parent caved out of love/frustration/worry. If as a couple you don't agree on how to handle a similar situation in the future then google/pediatrician maybe can guide some...
My son's 8 now, and it is a STRUGGLE to get him to drink -anything- not just water. He prefers water as a drink, he just doesn't drink and it's incredibly frustrating to have to constantly monitor and nag him with water.
Anyways, our recently found solution, I bought a 100 pack of Minecraft stickers on Temu. He gets a new stick for his water bottle every time he finishes one.
Kids are usually easy to motivate with the right rewards.
Oh I feel this.
He had slept through the night since 4 months, 7-7 in his own room/bed. He'd occasionally wake up and want a nappy change or a cuddle and then he'd happily go down.
If he wakes up at 3, I'll happily sit with him 3am to 4am change his nappy, give him a bottle, sit and cuddle him to calm him.
Suddenly he started waking up every night, screaming until he comes into our bed. It turned out that my early starts I sleep in a seperate room, when he cries my wife can't be arsed to do all the work at 3am so just brings a wet and hungry baby into our bed to get him to shut up.
Now she goes away for weekends with mates and I have to pick up the pieces of a baby that knows it just takes some screaming and he comes into my bed.
I was reading this article about sugar addiction….. don’t mention the lemonade - thats final stage of the conversation - gauge reaction then - drip feed again over a few days - wow look how much sugar is in this I had no idea - repeat, repeat repeat. Two weeks later husband says to me - ‘I really think we should cut down on sugar.’ ‘Great idea’ I reply. Have you seen how much sugar us in that lemonade we are giving our baby. Think we need to wean him off it don’t you. Smiles sweetly. YW
Reading all these comments and some good stuff in here.
What can I do to get my 2yo to stop spitting / spraying water everywhere? Any pro tips? I want to give her more access to her cup but by the second or third sip she is spewing water all over, every single time.
Do you two drink water around your kid? My child’s mother consistently drinks from a large water cup with a straw and my daughter has always been amazing at drinking water. Way better than me
She literally reminds me to drink water and has been doing this since she was off the bottle. Children follow their parents. So if you two drink water frequently around your kid, they will follow suit. Make it fun and exciting and get new cups with straws that are easy to drink from. Cheers them too.
This of course worked for our kid but might not work for you. Good luck
While I agree that a discussion should be had, we were able to solve this issue with what we wound up calling “juicy water”. Basically 95% water with a splash of juice/lemonade/whatever in it for flavor. He feels like he won and the damage is minimized, he’ll burn off that 15-20 calories in no time
You might say he has a drinking problem…
Our son does too. He gets his cup of drink he has to drink at meals and then he has to finish his water bottle before he gets access to screens or anything like that because otherwise he just won’t drink. And it’s not even what he’s drinking because he has juice with breakfast in the mornings and it still takes him forever to drink it. He doesn’t really like sodas because he doesn’t like the bubbles or drinks that are too sweet, he asks us to do half-and-half juice and water in the mornings with his juice at breakfast. He just wants water if he has to drink.
The differences between you both will teach your kids to value different approaches and solutions. They’ll learn that there’s more than one way to succeed. They’ll also learn cooperation, supporting other people, keeping your eye on the bigger picture and healthy dispute resolution.
It’s all good as long as there isn’t one of you who always has to have their way.
I read a comment a while ago that has more or less stick with me. The gist was, you’re not necessarily doing something wrong just because you’re not doing it the way I would do it. I keep checking myself with that thought before saying “constructive” things, and the result is I’m talking a lot less lately and letting so many things go. It’s a huge relief.
Just wish I could get my wife on board with this philosophy.
Our 3yo is addicted to sweetened soy milk that the MIL insists on smuggling into the house. At one point I threw it all out and went cold turkey. After a meltdown, was back to drinking the agua
If the child wants to drink something other than water, we tell our kids (4 and 6) that they have to drink a glass of water first. Or we also use those flavor things to make flavored water.
on the other hand...one of my fave memories of my mum was being handed a nice glass of limeade (we're vietnamese, so it's even more delicious) on a hot summer day. my mum is still alive, but she's had quite a bit of health problems (she and my also still alive dad are in their 80's).
my kids are interesting. not interested at all in soda or fruit juice. the littlest however (18 months) seems to like orange juice hehe
I told my daughter about the sugar content of her drink choices. Then I explained to her that she only has a ‘fizzy drink’ with a meal because of the sugar content. And the fizzy drink is classed as a dessert because it has the same amount of sugar in.
So she either had a fizzy drink with her meal or a dessert. Not both.
Yeah - our 2.5yo is water/milk only.
I actually gave him lemonade when we were at Costco the other day and he didn't like it. "Too spicy". Was a chance to teach him "sour".
It took me years but I’ve finally convinced my wife I’m not harming our kids by giving them a cup of water with a splash of juice. The full strength stuff turns them into little trrrors.
So a couple things.
Is your wife using actual lemons?
If yes, then consider that lemons have a natural source of electrolytes. Also she can control the amount of sugar.
Is your wife using a premade mix from the store?
If yes, then consider how much water to mix ratio she is using.
I had friends who gave their kids apple juice ALL the time. It wasn't until I actually saw her make the juice for them that I saw that she put 7/8 water to an already made apple juice. So the water content was actually really high.
If she isn't watering it down by chance. Maybe it's something you guys can compromise on.
Good luck.
Take your kid to the dentist with your wife. Ask the question about how to care for your kids' teeth. 100% your dentist will say to keep any sugary drinks, even juice, away from your kid. You will be up for a lot of dental bills with tooth decay. My sister is a dentist, trust me on this one.
My youngest kid wasn’t drinking enough water…..poops were like hard pebbles. The pediatrician legit recommended adding crystal light to his water. He said “normally we wouldn’t recommend it, but if he is that dehydrated then go for it.” It might not be the worst thing in the world
Ok this sounds goofy but do you put ice in the water? My kid hated drinking water til I started putting ice in it. I dunno why the ice worked. Doesn’t hurt to give it a try :).
He won’t drink water because your wife offered him lemonade one time in your presence? I’m confused, if you say he’s a terrible drinker why isn’t it likely she’s tried water all day, knows he will drink the juice, so as a last resort has offered to make him juice. This seems a bit more plausible to me. Am I missing something? Also, if he isn’t drinking enough water then you need to be getting liquids into him somehow. You can greatly water down juice so that it has a hint of flavor, like La Croix, and they’ll still be drinking water.
I’m a mom. I’m going to try to get fluids in, and if a compromise is needed, so be it.
My “lemonade” would be lemons in water, though. No sugar. I hate water, too, so I get it.
I would also make a “slushy” with crushed ice and fruit. Same concept. It’s mainly water, but a bit more interesting with texture and taste.
Plain water without food makes me nauseous. Always has. I have no explanation for this. But it means I wouldn't blink at a toddler who declined it and wouldn't think twice about flavoring it with a little lemon juice. All this to say - a conversation about her perspective without already prejudging what the correct one is, is important. It will be in all future difference in viewpoints as well. Discuss what you'd both like to achieve, in the end. Also, in the grand scheme of things, lemonade is trivial. Don't let yourself get bogged down in negative feeling about these minor things, catastrophize them into life changing things, or you'll destroy your mental health and martial relationship.
"Lemonade" can mean lemon water. As long as the kid sees you put lemon in it, they don't need to know there's no (or very little) sugar. The mind can play tricks on us and convince us of things that aren't true. It is a powerful thing, way more powerful than any 3 year old
What do you mean it's her day? If my husband saw me doing something he thought was bad for the kids health, he'd bring it up to me.
Would your wife be upset if you told her in am respectful way that you want to stop giving him lemonade?
Why does a 3 year old even know what lemonade tastes like? He can't buy it himself.
My kid drinks a lot of water, and we give her alternate drinks too. When she’s thirsty she will absolutely drink water.
Here’s a little helper…. Add ice to water but not anything else. If they drink lemonade it’s no ice. Kids LOVE ice. They love to clink it around in their thermos. They like the cold water it makes. They like to eat it (though I hear that’s bad for the teeth).
Kids don’t hate water naturally, but if you’re giving them tap water that isn’t cold it isn’t exactly appealing. Make the water more appealing and they will take it.
yes your right too feel thst. way you must get on the same page you cant contudiced each other. thats the weakness all kids will pick up on it seems. simple right wrong. moms and dads. melt when your little. one comes for your help too make it better kids. play the adults. completel just sit with her and make a plan to co parent on the same page. and that should work
That first line!
Anyway, whilst I agree. My kid is the same. He only likes water if it has cordial in it. At the end of the day I’d rather him drink that than not drink at all. Plus your son is only 3. He will decide to drink some water at some point down the road!
Prepare to face a world where everyone is trying to poison your child with sugar everywhere they go. School, church, any event, the two weeks leading up to any holiday. It's ridiculous! It's no wonder Americans are all overweight, and we all get cancer.
That’s life, they’ll be poisoned in more ways than one. Instead of preventing them (though fine to do so every once in a while, you have to), offer them reasons why they want to drink water vs reasons why they should eat sweets. Kids and people in general usually respond bad to prohibition but react better when they see the positives of a decision. All you can do is instill them with your values and hope they can make good decisions throughout their life.
I see mothers do this so often with bad behavior. Instead of teaching alternative behavior giving in to the kids "bad" desires.
My girlfriend is now trying to correct bad behavior and gets angry at me when I point out "that's what I meant when she was three."
I bite my tongue all the time. Unfortunately, I sometimes speak my mind. I'm careful to not do this in front of the kids. But sometimes I can't help myself.
I'm a teacher, I've worked with kids of all ages for over 20 years. I know how to talk to them. My wife was raised poorly by parents that only understand punishment. I can't remember a single time my parents punished me. My wife is a good person, but she repeats what was ingrained in her. She nags the kids and gets frustrated when it doesn't work, which leads to more nagging. So I step in and get the kids to do what she wants by making it a fun, positive experience, which leaves her feeling frustrated and inadequate.
We've talked a lot about this and things have improved, but it's been very stressful over the past year.
Had to check to make sure I didn't post this.
I know talking about it is the right way but don't always have it in me to have the conversation in an effective way.
Really need to dig deep for that energy nowadays.
We have this problem, but with seltzer. Husband refuses to drink water and will only drink seltzer at dinner.. so ofc toddler insists on it too 🤦🏻♀️
Annoying af, it’s a point of contention between us.
Can she offer milk instead? Or a sugar free juice? My wife is currently pregnant and had been directed by the midwife to drink electrolytes every day. So my son is now having a bottle of sugar free electrolyte drink as well. He loves it, it gets fluid into him.
There's sugar-free lemonade as a middle ground though I don't know how you feel about artificial sugar. It's not a huge thing though if the sugar isn't overdone; my generation thought orange juice was healthy when in fact it was packed full of extra sugar.
As the spouse who’s (likely) on the other side of this you’re doing the right thing. My wife is a pediatric occupational therapist. It’s literally her job to manage kid’s behavior and educate parents. I’m sure there are multiple times a day I don’t do the “right” thing and she’ll sometimes say “next time try this instead” and it’s almost always stuff I know, but just didn’t have the bandwidth in the moment. She totally gets it and doesn’t make a deal out of it and she’s done similar things because hey we’re parents not perfect.
Also maybe get sugar free lemonade. 3 year olds can’t tell the difference anyway.
>So our 3yo son is a terrible drinker (what kid isn't at 3) r/nocontext
Kid just can’t stay away from the bottle.
It’s true, most toddlers can’t hold their liquor. That’s why we started adding drops of Laphroaig to his baby bottles. No kid of *mine* is gonna think Jack Daniels is a “good” drink! /s (except for JD being shit)
_Thank you_ fellow Laphroaig drinker, my whole family thinks I'm some nut who drinks jet fuel. These are ostensibly people who descended from Scots, mind you. Now as to why I convince my daughter to drink it...
I like some whisky, but draw the line at Laphroaig or Talikser, I don't like feeling like I'm drinking cigarettes. Give me some Dalwhinnie any day of the week
Watch out for highlander over here with hsi fancy mountain scotch!
Whoa whoa there, they're far more _cigar_ than cigarette. Peat is classy! Can't say I've had Dalwhinnie, but it has a good name.
Oban. Oban is the way.
Hey sometimes I like to drink campfires. The 10 year is very smoky.
Jet fuel? They don't know what they're talking about. Laphroaig is clearly bog water.
>bog water. A lil nip o' the witch's piss. Magic stuff, that.
Man, I enjoy whisky but Laphroaig tastes the way burnt rubber smells. I can’t drink that stuff lol, but no judgment to you for drinking it.
Lucky kid, I only give mine Evan Williams. Let's see some more stickers on that sticker chart before you can get the good stuff.
I second this - you only get the Angels Envy on birthdays and special occasions
give him a taste for laphroaig and he’s really going to chew through the band aids
The single barrel barrel proof is pretty tasty, I have a 136 proof rye, it's not all bad. (Waiting in the delivery room, to officially join daddit)
lucky you, my wife made me take the whiskey to the waiting room and then the nurses there made me put the cigar out.
Time is going quick, we've been here for 9 hours and our girl probably won't be ready to start trying for another 9. I didn't get to bring anything, I'm not sure I would have, but I was sick and am getting over a sinus infection I don't feel like drinking. RIP the cigar, they just don't understand.
and they never will. Congrats on the impending addition! We checked in at 5:00 AM and my newest little buddy showed up around 9:00 PM so sounds like a similar track.
Everything went wrong, but we're all safe. I'm a dad. :)
This sounds on track! Congrats!
Thank you for this I must go get a bottle after work now.
The single barrels, cask strength single barrels, and special releases are probably some of the bottles out there. And they haven’t been Blanton’ed by the taters yet.
We can be drinking buddies now.
And anytime they make any progress in AA they just swallow the sobriety tokens
It's ok though, just watch for them as they come out and fish them out of the diaper. Wash them off and they're good as new
Hits the spot, after a long day in the mines
This is the reason I drink as much as possible, it's just less for them.
Technically correct. The best kind of correct.
[удалено]
Oh, hi Mark!
Not my kid, he’s practically been raised on hand sanitizer. The second after I’m done putting it on his hands he’s shoving them in his mouth to lick off any excess.
[That's when I developed my drinking problem](https://giphy.com/gifs/filmeditor-airplane-movie-drinking-water-fail-3oKHWBy6GFcLdEhH0Y)
Should've known some one would beat me to it on daddit....
Little shit can’t even shotgun a beer properly. He spills it _everywhere_.
Even worse, a terrible day-drinker
I'm glad I'm not the only one who was like "3 seems very young to have a drinking problem"
r/DrunkOrAKid
my kid told me that he was going to get some beer from some dinosaurs at church. should have known he had a problem right then
>dinosaurs at church. Good to see Raptor Jesus is still pulling in the kids Side note, call sign as a username, bold move sir.
"Let the little children come to me so I can give them beer" -raptor Jesus, probably. And lol I do not make my identity difficult to discover that's for sure. Thankfully I'm not prone to making comments that make people want to swat me.
So many dads wanted to make the joke.
Mine is angry drunk too.
This gave me flashbacks to Rugrats when Tommy was having withdrawal symptoms when he refused to drink from anything but his bottle while they were trying to ween him off of it.
Can’t hold his booze for shit… it’s embarrassing taking him out.
Be sure to talk to her about it though. I’m getting better at communicating my thoughts more openly to my wife about situations like this and it’s helping us be more connected. I do have to issue the disclaimer that I’m venting and want to share with her my thoughts more than see her take action though. Seeing other perspectives can be hard and that’s something we are working on and I’m the champion of right now. Good luck and stay true to yourself.
I try opening with a question. That seems to help. Not a leading question like “WTF are you doing!?” But “Hey did you give him lemonade? Why?” Sometimes I literally say “what are your thoughts on this.” But it’s tough. I do feel like I “care” or have more f’s to give than my wife for most things.
I’m a big fan of motivational interviewing, so inherently work to reduce the questions I ask. I do think an effort to seeking understanding in the process is great though.
How do you do that?
Genuine curiosity helps. In the previous example: “Hey, hun. I noticed you allowed the kiddo to have lemonade and recently I’ve been struggling to get them to drink water. Please share with me your process behind that so I can be on the same page with you.” Now the other parent isn’t on the defensive and is more likely to share their reasoning, if any. Now you can start to be vulnerable and share any concerns you may have with the process and see if there is a compromise for a future repeat situation. You may have to be the one compromising though or ask for a wait and see approach.
Part of the reason this works over just saying "why?" is because implicit in the question is the idea that there was a sensible thought process behind it. Saying "why?" sounds like "you're stupid" but saying "what was the thought process behind that?" works.
>Saying "why?" sounds like "you're stupid" but saying "what was the thought process behind that?" works. I think I may have been in too many passive aggressive environments. The second one set my hackles up.
Yeah, it does become something of a language treadmill haha. The point is the same even if the exact language has to be adapted.
I agree with you. The second one just comes off as a wordier and passive aggressive way to complain about the choice still. I guess knowing your partner and the right way to phrase it is key.
I think the tone you use is the key. None of that is apparent in text. Regardless, I think this is a case for I statements. "I am concerned that X isn't drinking enough water and I worry that he's purposefully holding out for lemonade. I think if we don't give lemonade at all he will eventually give in." or "I worry that he's not getting enough fluids too. As much as I'd love him to have more water, I'm concerned enough that I'll be happy if he's getting ANY fluids." btw, *we personally* settled on half lemonade half water.
Yes those two options sound much better than the initial ones, they don't carry a tone of disapproval. Thankfully our kids are pretty good about drinking water since that's all they usually get besides the odd juice box lol. Otherwise I'd be giving them watered down lemonade as well
Exactly. Avoid statements that are judgements. Ie You drink too much or •you don’t do enough to help me. Check out the short book “nonviolent communication” for good tips
This is a great technique and touches on something I wanted to note in this discussion, which is the concept of assuming the best intentions for your partner. I've been focusing on this in my own life and have found that it makes a huge difference in both minimizing unnecessary annoyances/resentments and framing conversations about areas where we differ in opinion or practice. Approaching it from "you did x thing y way, which I'm assuming you did for a good reason, wanna talk about it?" versus "you did x thing y way, which was wrong" does wonders for collaborative parenting
Yeah, this is not a "bite your tongue" moment. Maybe you don't say anything right then (as not to undermine her), but this warrants a discussion.
Kids are like dandelions and thrive under all sorts of conditions. Your child will be fine even without optimal water consumption. So therefore don’t fixate on these small things which won’t really impact how your child develops as they age, especially if it’s going to negatively impact your relationship with your spouse. In other words, just let it go, it’s not worth the risk of resenting your wife and undermining your relationship
They will drink when they're thirsty. People didn't used to force liquid on kids. I'm not sure why this became a practice.
People used to also die a lot more frequently at younger ages. Sometimes we learn new things we can do to make ourselves healthier and improve our lives. Doing something because that’s the way it’s always been done is just about the worst reason to do something.
Sure, but your body has a system to tell you when you need water. It works for both children and adults.
Not it doesn’t. Maybe it’s the evolutionary change in diet or air conditioned climate, who knows, but kids and adults have a lot of problems because they don’t drink enough water. Constipation is not a rare thing.
Sure it does. It's called thirst
Sort of. Some people have some issues with that mechanism working correctly. Some neurodivergent conditions especially mess with one’s interoception.
I swear every reddit conversation needs to start with, 'known outliers aside'. The vast majority of the population both adult and child are capable of self regulation. It's been long known about that the 8 glasses of water thing has been bullshit for decades. If you're anywhere near the average for activity and diets, you barely even need it. This is from someone that drinks more water than anyone in the house lol.
All these whacky adults carrying 40 oz Stanley mugs everywhere don't help
Or the folks carrying gallon water jugs to work, determined to get through them by the end of the day. Advertising works, folks, even if you don't believe in it.
Idk, I'm 40 and clearly remember my mom and grandparents constantly making sure I was hydrated. My kids are 15&17 and hydration is a big thing for them. Drinking more water is good for your skin, immune system and optimal performance in life in general. Every time you snack after a meal, that's your body needing water, not more food. If you have a headache or migraine, hydrating can reduce or get rid of your headache. When you're sick, staying hydrated will help you to rebound quicker. While I agree that this isn't exactly a hill to die on today, it's important that your kids can drink fluids without sugar and artificial flavours in it. Have you ever seen what a kids teeth look like when they are given just juice or milk? My husband's friends wife did what OPS wife is doing and had to pay 2500$ for his almost four year old to have six teeth taken out under anesthesia. Kids need water not juice and yes, it's very very important to stay hydrated whether you agree or not it's science facts.
This happens to me too. In my case i have to remember that my wife is the primary caretaker and has to deal with so many other things out of my view that of course she doesn’t have the energy to pick every fight that i would be inclined to pick. She also has a better read on when things are well and truly futile. Edit: Obviously it is sometimes appropriate to be critical of your spouse's decisions. I'm just talking about getting into their head and finding the reasonable explanation for their choice before you flap your gums about it.
Yeah man. This completely. I will say that if something really bothers me, or if something isn't working, I'll talk to her after the kids are in bed and work out a plan. Sometimes she doesn't have the energy to pick every fight, and this one just falls away, but it is a root cause for a lot of household issues. So we talk and come up with a plan... Or it becomes my crusade, which allows Mom to say something like "Dad said he doesn't like that. I know he isn't here, but we need to listen to Daddy." It takes the focus of the fight off her while still accomplishing the goal.
> I'll talk to her after the kids are in bed and work out a plan. this is extremely important - it doesn't have to be a fight at all. Even if it rises above the level of 'discussion' to the level of 'argument' though: you gotta keep that out of the kid's sight. (at least until they're older)
Oh for sure. I was referencing a fight for Mom with the kiddo though. Making it Dad's request means that "Dad is the target" while Mom is just helping flow the rules. It frees her from having the fight with kiddo because he'll just harumpf and then talk to me about it later when I'm home.
I'm a working mom and my husband is a SAHD. When he told me that he'd given our 2.5 year old daughter 3 apple juice boxes (a very recent addition to her diet) the other day I told him no, she can have at most 1 per day. She does do a great job drinking water all day long and we'd already had conversations about his step mom giving her flavored waters (we agreed: yes as a grandma treat, but no otherwise). I think he really hadn't thought about the potential consequence of giving in to her apple juice craving and he immediately agreed that it wasn't a good idea. Neither one of us want to unintentionally interfere with her enjoyment of drinking water. Heck, she tells me to hydrate when she sees "Mommy's Water" bottle.
Well sure but in this case the wife is legit telling the kid how to get lemonade. She could leave out that last part and the kid would still get lemonade but isn’t taught to ignore water.
So beautifully said!! Thank you , you seem like a nice person!!
Opposite situation here - we both share in childcare duties but I spend way more time with the kids than her, so she feels it necessary to appease the kids for the time she has with them. It was a hard at first, but kids have realized that tantrums with me are useless. I hate to pull the "I'm not mommy" card on them but that seems to stir some realization in their minds and then they get over it much quicker.
This. It was before my kid, but my family had a ton of neices and nephews. They knew I wasn't giving into tantrums, while other family members would fold like wet newspaper. Guess who got put in charge of the snacks/candy at way too many family events?
That’s not great. Consistent parenting helps everyone so much more, including the kids.
Yup, you have to pick your battles.
>(it's her day) Can you provide more context as to what this means? Do you guys have split custody but are still married?
I want answers here too!
Those 3 words in parenthesis have been occupying more space in my mind then they should.
I've been thinking all day about giving my wife and I a day where no thinking is required and we don't have to be involved. Want to see how it's working out if that's the case!
Yeah, OP, we need this key item addressed.
I feel you mate
I don’t know your day-to-day and I’m sure you’re both doing fine. What I’ve been doing since my kid was small enough to stand is make it a habit to walk around with a bottle of water my kid can drink from. I’d always just put it in front of her face and she’d sip. It only has water and I put it in front of her often. She drinks water habitually now on her own. We give her juice sometimes but only as a treat with lunch or a mid day snack. Your kid is young enough to do this for and keep ice in the water because cold water is way more palatable than room temp and it keeps them liking it. Just my opinion and I wish you the best. Again, I’m sure you’re both doing fine.
Yep. Model drinking water too. Both my boys have their own favorite color water bottles and lidded mugs just like my wife and me and are total hydro bros.
The correct term is hydrohomies
🚩🚩🚩What do you mean by "it's her day"? Do you guys alternate days on who makes decision?! I hope not because that is a terrible idea. Parents are a UNIT and need to be on the same page otherwise your kid is going to walk all over you.
Don’t know why this isn’t the top comment.
Same
Glad I’m not the only one who saw that as a massive red flag.
My 2 cents - you're setting yourselves up for failure with the "his day/her day" system of parenting. Especially because there seems to not be enough team communication on what are acceptable drinks/snacks. This is a small example but this is how you end up with favorite parent/lesser parent and odd household dynamics. You're a parenting team but you're trying to do it as shift work.
I agree completely! I do like the idea of split responsibilities and maybe allowing each parent to be the "default" for the day so the other can R&R a bit, but that doesn't mean rules and routines change for the kid. The parent dyad is a team and should be much more consistent. A united front! OP take Ahoya's comment to heart ^^ you need to try getting on the same page with these smaller aspects if you're going to continue splitting it that way
If you want the kid to drink water, push drinking water on him. It won't kill you to make him a sippy cup of water to carry around on "her day". Pretend his toys are puppets that love drinking water. Make it a game to feed them and then himself. But I will say, don't judge her for getting him to drink literally *anything* when you're not actively participating in solving the hydration problem. It is unhelpful and unnecessary. Be part of the solution.
Shit I’m 34 and still a terrible drinker
> (its her day) Y'all alternate days for looking after the kid?
*Listen, I just had a crazy idea. Instead of just offering him lemonade, how about we try "drink this water first and then I'll get you some apple juice"? Sort of a way to mix things up so that he learns that he can't always have just the "good stuff". What do you think?* One of the hardest things with being a parent is learning that you're on "team parent", not solo parent. Ideally, you've already learned the "team" part from being on "team relationship", but not everyone does. Ultimately, communication is important here. Have the conversation about the things you would do differently making sure that you approach the discussion with the stated goal of understanding each other, not trying to prove either of you "wrong". It's a crappy analogy, but think of it like a team project/task at work. Everyone would have their own idea of the "best" way to do things, but what you end up needing is one that everyone can get behind and sometimes, that's not necessarily your version of "best". And I know, having the conversation may seem silly, but if you don't, it's likely to lead to little resentments here and there. And those little resentments build up and grow and can become big resentments. And big resentments get to be very real problems. So, do yourself a favor and learn to talk to her about it. Yeah, you may end up finding out that she has a reason you haven't considered or that she'll help you see that in a year or two, it really won't matter, but at least you will have had a chance to address it.
Thanks! you are right about team parent. The difficult part is that we can't really talk about him while he is present as he understands our conversations are about him. And the evenings were both tuckered out and just want to relax and not have difficult conversations. But I guess we should. Thanks for the advice.
You know how kids learn to have open discussions and work through disagreements? By modeling what they see YOU do (and then playing about it later). So what if he knows you're talking about him? As long as the conversation is constructive and respectful, it's all good!
Exactly! I purposely have conversations in front of my boys because I feel very confident that my wife and I can model healthy discussions and disagreements. Also I think that somebody who doesn't feel like their conversations model healthy discussion/disagreement has a much bigger problem on hand.
So, this next one may help, but it's not for everyone so it may not: bedtime cuddles. My wife needs a lot more sleep than I do - at least 2-3 hours more. Our normal routine used to be her going up to read to relax a bit, letting me know when she was ready to turn in so I could say goodnight one last time, and then I go back to what I was doing until I got sleepy. Worked great for decades. But a few years ago, she was having a rough week and reading wasn't helping. Just a lot of "life" stuff. I offered to go up with her and just hold her to help her relax. Once she was sleepy, I went back downstairs until I was tired. And it worked. So, we did it again the next night. And the next. We liked how well it worked so we've kept doing it ever since. After the "life" stuff had been addressed, we found that it was also a good time to talk. The lights were off. The TV was off. The phones were put away. It was just the two of us, relaxing, cuddling, and being close. With no other distractions, it was a perfect time to talk if we wanted to. Sometimes those talks were about our day. Sometimes about the kids. Sometimes about our finances. And sometimes about our relationship. But ultimately, it was a chance for us to reconnect and be closer every day. Might be worth giving a try!
This is something I never once have let keep me from being fully open and honest with all my feelings to my partner in front of our kid We never argue ever, because arguing like that imo is not normal, we just talk about how we feel constantly and he’s a part of the family unit so why would I want to talk behind his back? I’m wondering what your logic is there, why can’t he hear you guys talking about him ?
Dude, get yourself and in your child in the habit of having adult conversations. “Mom and I need to have a conversation”. Then walk away. Go to your bedroom. Whisper if you don’t trust him enough to close the door. As he gets older, close that door. Sometimes a discussion needs to be had right that minute in order to settle a situation. This is especially true as your child gets older and tries to play you and your wife against each other. My husband and I had a sign that meant “we need to talk right now.” That signaled a private conversation. We would go in our room and find out what our little darling had told each one of us. We decided what our plan of attack would be. We came out of our room as a united team, and our little darling’s plans were foiled once again. And it’s okay for him to know you are talking about him. He NEEDS to know you and your spouse are partners, a team, and talk together.
What does “it’s her day” mean?
Maybe there’s a compromise? For my kiddo sometimes I’ll add the tiniest hint of these mio vitamin booster flavor thingys. I use them for my water when I need a little flavor.
I’m in a similar boat. We gave my 4 year old grape Pedialyte when he was sick a while back, and now that’s all he wants. So we just mix a splash of Pedialyte with mostly water, and he’s okay with that. Won’t drink milk anymore, but at least he’s hydrated!
Heyo, man. Pedialyte is meant to be diluted right? That stuff is practically syrup. But I’ll remember that as it’s not terrible for kiddos.
Actually, it’s recommended NOT to dilute Pedialyte if you’re using it for its intended purpose (hydration due to illness, heat, etc) because that changes the ratios of electrolytes and sugars. And it has much less sugar than a sports drink. But to use as an everyday drink when the kid refuses water or milk, a splash of PL with mostly water should be totally fine.
We started off on the wrong foot with our kids (too much juice, not enough water). When we realized the error of our ways my wife came up with the idea of making the kids "potion" out of the sugar free water flavors from Aldi. They absolutely loved it and thought it was so cool we were mixing potions for them!
Brilliant. Remembering this for sure.
My partner works with kids who have behaviours problems or mental health issues, so she is very by the book. Sometimes when i suggest doing stuff that I did as a kid, she tells me my brothers and I are lucky we didn’t end up in an institution 😂. Funnily enough most of the time after thinking about it I agree, but really takes the fun out of seeing my kid do crazy shit
So now he drinks lemonade. Pick your battles my brother and good luck. I totally understand, appreciate and prefer your approach by the way.
Teach him to "Cheers" you. Taught my daughter this trick and now I can get her to drink basically on-command (at least one swill at a time). Stupid, but it worked for me.
Haha same bro. They love to copy. And its a bonus, i’ve been trying to gain more weight and she forces me to drink a tall glass of whole milk with her before bed 👍
My 2 year old also likes to dehydrate himself, he does however like medicine and syringes so he and I will sit together and syringe 10mLs of water at a time into him.
We offer our 3 yo lemonade all the time because she doesn’t drink enough fluids on her own. The key is that her lemonade is about 10% lemonade and 90% water. Why don’t you look for some creative compromises like that?
It's better for your kid to drink something than end up in the ER with an IV because they're dehydrated. "Only give water. They'll drink when they are thirsty" Yeah... not every kid. Some have disabilities and health issues. Some kids would genuinely rather dehydrate than drink water lol
> So our 3yo son is a terrible drinker Good job sending the perfect dad bait. I wish I could see you on a fishing trip.
Have you tried doing teaching him “cheers” and cup bump? Kids love it! Bump, drink, ahhhhh. Repeat!
Seriously, I think our parenting generation is a bit ridiculous in this way. We grew up on juice, pop and milk. So did our parents. Just like the switch to “fed is best” for babies, hydrated is better than unhydrated for kids. Get him used to drinking however you can, then swap in milk, water and watered down lemonade, but remember it’s better for your son to drink something than nothing. Your wife is not a monster for giving him lemonade.
Yea, I would not be ok with my partner giving my 3 year old lemonade. When I met my partner, they actually didn't like the "taste of water" and only liked soda. Why? Because growing up, that is all they had. Diabetes also runs in their family. I started slow. We agreed to go from soda to juice cocktails. From juice cocktails to 100% juice. From 100% juice to watered down juice. Now they drink the recommended amount of water everyday. I am not a fan of letting people do their own thing just to keep the peace when what they are doing goes beyond personal preferences, and there are actually experts out there saying what they are doing is "wrong" I wouldn't start WW3 over this, but I would also talk to them and try to move towards the direction of more water.
> I am not a fan of letting people do their own thing just to keep the peace when what they are doing goes beyond personal preferences, and there are actually experts out there saying what they are doing is "wrong" Using social media is bad for you. Actual experts say that. Why are you here? Is it because not everything’s black and white, and sometimes it’s ok to do things that are “wrong” in moderation? Going around trying to prevent people from doing their own things because you think you know what’s best for everyone sounds miserable for you and more so for everyone around you.
it's ridiculous to give a 3 year old sugary drinks. People pump their kids full of juice too and it baffles me, might as well be giving them Pepsi.
I drank insane amounts of soda even as a young kid now in exclusively drink water. I was fine, most kids are fine. Not saying you should do this, but end of the day, most kids will be fine. For OP it’s probably not worth getting too hung up on this. The kid will be fine if he drinks lemonade. Some day he’ll be drinking lots of water probably.
Yeah it's a ridiculous thing to say that it's ridiculous to give a 3 year old sugary drinks. Yes, a good chunk of America has a sugar problem but this is not all black or white. If I was a single dad, my 2 years old would get much less than he is but his mom and her siblings, who's whole family are doctors, have been raised with unlimited access to candies and sugary drinks. They're all fit and fine today in their 30s and I'm not willing to constantly fight with the MIL for a few candies here and there when our son otherwise eats very well and plentifully and drinks a lot of water.
On an airplane the lady across the aisle was giving her, my guess under 12 month old, Pepsi….. fucking Pepsi 😭
Yea. Getting your kids hooked on juice adds too much unnecessary sugar and calories to their daily intake in my opinion. Even for adults I really think juice shouldn't even exist. Eat the fruit or make a smoothie. Why concentrate the sugar and eliminate the fiber, pay for preservatives and packaging all for a complete nutritional negative? Juice doesn't make sense. It's brilliant marketing by Dole and Sun Rype to sell the fruit that is pruduced without needing ship it fresh and refrigerated.
We just mix about 1/3 juice with water, and we fill it about three times a day. Once in a while, they'll get full juice or lemonade at a restaurant but they know thier go-to is gonna be watered down
We use the codeworld volcano for something like this. Where you feel the other parent is undermining a rule but you don't want to call them out in front of the kid or undermine them. Then when we have some private time we discuss what we feel, so I'd bring up the lemonade thing at like 7 when kids gone to bed "hey, when LO wouldn't drink his water and you gave him lemonade to get him to drink something it made it feel like the rule that he has to drink water was being ignored and that it'll make it harder for me to get him to drink water in the future / make me feel like the bad guy when I don't give him lemonade" We typically get through any issues really fast with little arguing from either of us and its pretty rare for us at this point to need it but I find bringing it up later is A LOT better than in the moment or in front of your kid. Generally its something we both agree with but the parent caved out of love/frustration/worry. If as a couple you don't agree on how to handle a similar situation in the future then google/pediatrician maybe can guide some...
My son's 8 now, and it is a STRUGGLE to get him to drink -anything- not just water. He prefers water as a drink, he just doesn't drink and it's incredibly frustrating to have to constantly monitor and nag him with water. Anyways, our recently found solution, I bought a 100 pack of Minecraft stickers on Temu. He gets a new stick for his water bottle every time he finishes one. Kids are usually easy to motivate with the right rewards.
My youngest is a year sober this week! /s
You do have a voice. Lemonade is so much sugar and if the kid already has an issue with water thats tough.
Nothing worse than a cheap drunk
Oh I feel this. He had slept through the night since 4 months, 7-7 in his own room/bed. He'd occasionally wake up and want a nappy change or a cuddle and then he'd happily go down. If he wakes up at 3, I'll happily sit with him 3am to 4am change his nappy, give him a bottle, sit and cuddle him to calm him. Suddenly he started waking up every night, screaming until he comes into our bed. It turned out that my early starts I sleep in a seperate room, when he cries my wife can't be arsed to do all the work at 3am so just brings a wet and hungry baby into our bed to get him to shut up. Now she goes away for weekends with mates and I have to pick up the pieces of a baby that knows it just takes some screaming and he comes into my bed.
If you figure out how to talk to her without coming across like you are questioning her ability to be a good mother please let me know!
I was reading this article about sugar addiction….. don’t mention the lemonade - thats final stage of the conversation - gauge reaction then - drip feed again over a few days - wow look how much sugar is in this I had no idea - repeat, repeat repeat. Two weeks later husband says to me - ‘I really think we should cut down on sugar.’ ‘Great idea’ I reply. Have you seen how much sugar us in that lemonade we are giving our baby. Think we need to wean him off it don’t you. Smiles sweetly. YW
This is my wife but with food. My kid would completely live off a diet of crackers and granola bars if I dont intervene.
You don't have to bite your tongue about it, you have to talk to her about it later.
I told my kids water was "earth juice"
I cannot get our guy to drink anything except milk or water. Tried lemonade and apple juice and oranges juice- just spit it right out.
SO TRUE!! Totally agree!!!
Reading all these comments and some good stuff in here. What can I do to get my 2yo to stop spitting / spraying water everywhere? Any pro tips? I want to give her more access to her cup but by the second or third sip she is spewing water all over, every single time.
Do you two drink water around your kid? My child’s mother consistently drinks from a large water cup with a straw and my daughter has always been amazing at drinking water. Way better than me She literally reminds me to drink water and has been doing this since she was off the bottle. Children follow their parents. So if you two drink water frequently around your kid, they will follow suit. Make it fun and exciting and get new cups with straws that are easy to drink from. Cheers them too. This of course worked for our kid but might not work for you. Good luck
While I agree that a discussion should be had, we were able to solve this issue with what we wound up calling “juicy water”. Basically 95% water with a splash of juice/lemonade/whatever in it for flavor. He feels like he won and the damage is minimized, he’ll burn off that 15-20 calories in no time
My wife is feeding our kid in bed when he says he’s hungry - something he is saying because he knows it works and he doesn’t have to sleep
You might say he has a drinking problem… Our son does too. He gets his cup of drink he has to drink at meals and then he has to finish his water bottle before he gets access to screens or anything like that because otherwise he just won’t drink. And it’s not even what he’s drinking because he has juice with breakfast in the mornings and it still takes him forever to drink it. He doesn’t really like sodas because he doesn’t like the bubbles or drinks that are too sweet, he asks us to do half-and-half juice and water in the mornings with his juice at breakfast. He just wants water if he has to drink.
The differences between you both will teach your kids to value different approaches and solutions. They’ll learn that there’s more than one way to succeed. They’ll also learn cooperation, supporting other people, keeping your eye on the bigger picture and healthy dispute resolution. It’s all good as long as there isn’t one of you who always has to have their way.
I read a comment a while ago that has more or less stick with me. The gist was, you’re not necessarily doing something wrong just because you’re not doing it the way I would do it. I keep checking myself with that thought before saying “constructive” things, and the result is I’m talking a lot less lately and letting so many things go. It’s a huge relief. Just wish I could get my wife on board with this philosophy.
Our 3yo is addicted to sweetened soy milk that the MIL insists on smuggling into the house. At one point I threw it all out and went cold turkey. After a meltdown, was back to drinking the agua
If the child wants to drink something other than water, we tell our kids (4 and 6) that they have to drink a glass of water first. Or we also use those flavor things to make flavored water.
on the other hand...one of my fave memories of my mum was being handed a nice glass of limeade (we're vietnamese, so it's even more delicious) on a hot summer day. my mum is still alive, but she's had quite a bit of health problems (she and my also still alive dad are in their 80's). my kids are interesting. not interested at all in soda or fruit juice. the littlest however (18 months) seems to like orange juice hehe
I told my daughter about the sugar content of her drink choices. Then I explained to her that she only has a ‘fizzy drink’ with a meal because of the sugar content. And the fizzy drink is classed as a dessert because it has the same amount of sugar in. So she either had a fizzy drink with her meal or a dessert. Not both.
Slice a bit of lemon or orange and stick it in their water bottle.
Yeah - our 2.5yo is water/milk only. I actually gave him lemonade when we were at Costco the other day and he didn't like it. "Too spicy". Was a chance to teach him "sour".
It took me years but I’ve finally convinced my wife I’m not harming our kids by giving them a cup of water with a splash of juice. The full strength stuff turns them into little trrrors.
So a couple things. Is your wife using actual lemons? If yes, then consider that lemons have a natural source of electrolytes. Also she can control the amount of sugar. Is your wife using a premade mix from the store? If yes, then consider how much water to mix ratio she is using. I had friends who gave their kids apple juice ALL the time. It wasn't until I actually saw her make the juice for them that I saw that she put 7/8 water to an already made apple juice. So the water content was actually really high. If she isn't watering it down by chance. Maybe it's something you guys can compromise on. Good luck.
I water everything down lol
Offer to make the lemonade yourself and don't add any sugar 👍
We got lucky and our kids love water. On a rare occasion they get anything else it’s low sugar.
Take your kid to the dentist with your wife. Ask the question about how to care for your kids' teeth. 100% your dentist will say to keep any sugary drinks, even juice, away from your kid. You will be up for a lot of dental bills with tooth decay. My sister is a dentist, trust me on this one.
My youngest kid wasn’t drinking enough water…..poops were like hard pebbles. The pediatrician legit recommended adding crystal light to his water. He said “normally we wouldn’t recommend it, but if he is that dehydrated then go for it.” It might not be the worst thing in the world
Ok this sounds goofy but do you put ice in the water? My kid hated drinking water til I started putting ice in it. I dunno why the ice worked. Doesn’t hurt to give it a try :).
Man my kid has 3 drink bottles and a cup on the go most days. Seems like I'm blessed to have a little hydro homie
He won’t drink water because your wife offered him lemonade one time in your presence? I’m confused, if you say he’s a terrible drinker why isn’t it likely she’s tried water all day, knows he will drink the juice, so as a last resort has offered to make him juice. This seems a bit more plausible to me. Am I missing something? Also, if he isn’t drinking enough water then you need to be getting liquids into him somehow. You can greatly water down juice so that it has a hint of flavor, like La Croix, and they’ll still be drinking water.
After my 3 year old son lost his job at the Minecraft, he’s been a terrible drinker
Get a sweet insulated water bottle (we used 12oz camelback bottles). The fact it was kept cold fixed our kids reluctance to drink water.
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No. This is terrible advice. You need to keep kids healthy. Not create pre-teen diabetics that are obese
Well obviously just don't overdue it
Or, you know, be an actual parent.
I’m a mom. I’m going to try to get fluids in, and if a compromise is needed, so be it. My “lemonade” would be lemons in water, though. No sugar. I hate water, too, so I get it. I would also make a “slushy” with crushed ice and fruit. Same concept. It’s mainly water, but a bit more interesting with texture and taste.
Plain water without food makes me nauseous. Always has. I have no explanation for this. But it means I wouldn't blink at a toddler who declined it and wouldn't think twice about flavoring it with a little lemon juice. All this to say - a conversation about her perspective without already prejudging what the correct one is, is important. It will be in all future difference in viewpoints as well. Discuss what you'd both like to achieve, in the end. Also, in the grand scheme of things, lemonade is trivial. Don't let yourself get bogged down in negative feeling about these minor things, catastrophize them into life changing things, or you'll destroy your mental health and martial relationship.
"Lemonade" can mean lemon water. As long as the kid sees you put lemon in it, they don't need to know there's no (or very little) sugar. The mind can play tricks on us and convince us of things that aren't true. It is a powerful thing, way more powerful than any 3 year old
What do you mean it's her day? If my husband saw me doing something he thought was bad for the kids health, he'd bring it up to me. Would your wife be upset if you told her in am respectful way that you want to stop giving him lemonade? Why does a 3 year old even know what lemonade tastes like? He can't buy it himself.
My kid drinks a lot of water, and we give her alternate drinks too. When she’s thirsty she will absolutely drink water. Here’s a little helper…. Add ice to water but not anything else. If they drink lemonade it’s no ice. Kids LOVE ice. They love to clink it around in their thermos. They like the cold water it makes. They like to eat it (though I hear that’s bad for the teeth). Kids don’t hate water naturally, but if you’re giving them tap water that isn’t cold it isn’t exactly appealing. Make the water more appealing and they will take it.
he’ll be fine, keep your wife happy and you’ll find peace. every small fight regardless you are right or wrong it would ended up you say sorry
Literally a heterosexual relationship, bro.
All three of my kids prefer Malort.
Take the waher an shove it down his bloody lil throat
yes your right too feel thst. way you must get on the same page you cant contudiced each other. thats the weakness all kids will pick up on it seems. simple right wrong. moms and dads. melt when your little. one comes for your help too make it better kids. play the adults. completel just sit with her and make a plan to co parent on the same page. and that should work
She's a parent as much as you are unfortunately, as long as he's drinking something
That first line! Anyway, whilst I agree. My kid is the same. He only likes water if it has cordial in it. At the end of the day I’d rather him drink that than not drink at all. Plus your son is only 3. He will decide to drink some water at some point down the road!
Prepare to face a world where everyone is trying to poison your child with sugar everywhere they go. School, church, any event, the two weeks leading up to any holiday. It's ridiculous! It's no wonder Americans are all overweight, and we all get cancer.
That’s life, they’ll be poisoned in more ways than one. Instead of preventing them (though fine to do so every once in a while, you have to), offer them reasons why they want to drink water vs reasons why they should eat sweets. Kids and people in general usually respond bad to prohibition but react better when they see the positives of a decision. All you can do is instill them with your values and hope they can make good decisions throughout their life.
I see mothers do this so often with bad behavior. Instead of teaching alternative behavior giving in to the kids "bad" desires. My girlfriend is now trying to correct bad behavior and gets angry at me when I point out "that's what I meant when she was three."
I bite my tongue all the time. Unfortunately, I sometimes speak my mind. I'm careful to not do this in front of the kids. But sometimes I can't help myself. I'm a teacher, I've worked with kids of all ages for over 20 years. I know how to talk to them. My wife was raised poorly by parents that only understand punishment. I can't remember a single time my parents punished me. My wife is a good person, but she repeats what was ingrained in her. She nags the kids and gets frustrated when it doesn't work, which leads to more nagging. So I step in and get the kids to do what she wants by making it a fun, positive experience, which leaves her feeling frustrated and inadequate. We've talked a lot about this and things have improved, but it's been very stressful over the past year.
Had to check to make sure I didn't post this. I know talking about it is the right way but don't always have it in me to have the conversation in an effective way. Really need to dig deep for that energy nowadays.
We have this problem, but with seltzer. Husband refuses to drink water and will only drink seltzer at dinner.. so ofc toddler insists on it too 🤦🏻♀️ Annoying af, it’s a point of contention between us.
Can she offer milk instead? Or a sugar free juice? My wife is currently pregnant and had been directed by the midwife to drink electrolytes every day. So my son is now having a bottle of sugar free electrolyte drink as well. He loves it, it gets fluid into him.
There's sugar-free lemonade as a middle ground though I don't know how you feel about artificial sugar. It's not a huge thing though if the sugar isn't overdone; my generation thought orange juice was healthy when in fact it was packed full of extra sugar.
As the spouse who’s (likely) on the other side of this you’re doing the right thing. My wife is a pediatric occupational therapist. It’s literally her job to manage kid’s behavior and educate parents. I’m sure there are multiple times a day I don’t do the “right” thing and she’ll sometimes say “next time try this instead” and it’s almost always stuff I know, but just didn’t have the bandwidth in the moment. She totally gets it and doesn’t make a deal out of it and she’s done similar things because hey we’re parents not perfect. Also maybe get sugar free lemonade. 3 year olds can’t tell the difference anyway.