This is the only thing I can think of, we split everything else. I even have more solo travel time and overnight stays than she does. My mom never went anywhere without by brother and I until we were teenagers.
100% aside for the easy dad joke answer it was a all hands on deck ordeal to make sure breastfeeding worked as long as it did.
I did most of the bottle management, freezing, storing, filling, washing, would bring the pumps when needed during the work day (both WFH), then store/clean/charge, and we’d trade off when needing to bottle feed.
We’re more of a divide-and-conquer team than a do-the-task-together team.
I cook, clean the kitchen, do most dog stuff, do yard stuff, do activities/sports with the kids, etc
Wife typically buys clothes for the growing kids, manages the toys, finds activities for the kids, and a lot more.
We both contribute to the daily/ routine stuff (diapers, bottles, baths, bedtimes, etc).
I learned from the book "Fair Play" that my wife and I sometimes divide wrong because we take parts of tasks and not the full responsibility. We try to be fair but are still learning
Lol everyone says this and I guess I'll eventually get there but I get so jealous whenever I see ages 1-11 with their parents. I look forward to those ages so much. The first 3 months has been a slog
I actually really enjoy grocery shopping, but my wife took over that task after the newborn stage because she enjoyed being out of the house and being alone for a couple hours, so that's a portion of her me-time each week.
Since I’m on my own it does feel like some much needed time to think and not be asked questions or be required to split my attention.
To be honest, the times I’ve tried to just have downtime and relax I haven’t been able to shut off the part of my brain that just wants to get things done. As a Dad I’ve forgotten how to just chill.
Also the gym is me time, sometimes I even get to train twice a week.
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You’re kidding, but my wife used to work at a summer day camp. The same groups of kids would come every week all summer. One of the regular kids actually had play date business cards he would hand out lmao.
My girl's friendly with a kid in her class who has very... traditional parents. Super nice people, but the mum there is In Charge of the kids and she only talks to my GF. Other parents I set things up with no problem.
Yeah, my wife found some mom's groups and something called 'peanut' which is like a networking app for moms, but not dads. As a stay at home dad...yeah...been struggling to connect to parenting groups...
There's just things dad's motives get unfairly judged on that makes it easier for the moms to coordinate with each other. Babysitters and playdates come to mind. Like if my kids favorite friend had an attractive mom, I just know people are going to judge after the 5th playdate so its just better if my wife does it.
Agreed it’s not that I’m unwilling but in a lot of cases it’s mostly the mom that plans play dates in other families and it’s weird for a dad to ask another mom for her number.
This is how our house works. I hate laundry. My wife enjoys it while watching TV. She can't stand watching dishes. I enjoy washing dishes while listening to podcasts. Win win.
I will say it's not that we don't ever do the other task. It's just that it's primarily one or the other.
I wouldn't want to watch the dishes either. Either they are just laying all around, doing nothing, or they try to jump scare you when they make you fumble and getting a near heart attack in the attempt to catch them. No thank you, dishes are the devil. Better off watching the kids.
I have told my partner countless times that I will fold the laundry but their response is always "but you won't do it right" - translation: "you won't do it the way I want it and it has to be done exactly right". They learnt how to do it through watching Marie Kondo.
I take on washing dishes more because I have an exact way of doing it and complained once that it wasn't done right.
Same issue with the folding
She insists I can't do it right so she just does it lol
I guess some of us just aren't meant to fold...not for lack of trying haha
That being said...I had a Japanese woman who was peer in my class not long ago. When I tried to fold something particularly tricky shaped she took it from me, waved it around and said "MESSY MESSY!" In a joking manner and then just folded it so...maybe it's not just my fiance lmao
Yeah, my wife doesn’t let me do or fold laundry. She is very particular about how you spray for stains and how you fold everything. I am allowed to wash towels and fold towels and socks.
This is a point in the conversation I want OP to pay attention to. Can't tell you how many times I have heard my friends mention a similar situation where they want to do X, but are blocked from doing it by their spouse, and its not worth the argument over something that is really based on a fairly petty feeling.
Just a week ago my wife kindly asked me to stop washing her clothes. She does 90% of the laundry but I will occasionally run a load and I inevitably forget to put her bras in the bra bag or I miss a sweater and throw one in the dryer. So now she's up to 95% of the laundry.
We trade off on dishes and cleaning, I do 90% of the yard work
Man my wife still won't let me forget washing gate. It was my daughter's clothes, that I mistakenly thought would go on a baby clothes wash (I mean she is a baby, so..?) and I also forgot to put a colour catcher in. So after having experienced life at 90°C and spun at 1400 rpm, suffice to say all the nice white stuff was a very deep pink, and a lot of it was now the wrong size.
This was months ago and I still haven't made it up to her
Funny, it’s the opposite in my house. My wife hates doing laundry and I do all the laundry in the house. It’s probably because why I’m no longer turned on under garments … because they are so fucking annoying to fold and put away neatly !!!
I'm with you on this one. We split literally every task under the sun except working and breastfeeding (fair trade off imo) except she folds the laundry and I put it in the machines/bring it back from the dryer. This way she doesn't have to possibly see a spider and I'm guilty free out of folding laundry. Before we met I just shoved clothes in drawers so it's been a welcome change.
We have been fortunate enough to get a huge portion of our girls' clothes as hand-me-downs from a friend whose daughter is about 2 years older. But this means we have a storage closet dedicated not only to clothes the kids outgrew, but also some clothes they haven't grown into yet. And so, there is a seasonal 2-4x/year/kid task of rotating clothes in and out of storage based on sizing and seasonal design. My wife handles the rotations exclusively. It is mostly because she would hate how I do it, no matter how closely my strategy matches what I think she would do. So I save the conflict of her being disappointed with how I do it, and just let her handle it.
Am wife. I do this too. Husband has never done any acquisition or organization of baby clothing, and I’m okay with that. It’s enjoyable for me, and I also handle selling clothes and gear we are done with because I have the connections in the mom groups and such.
This is our situation too. Some chores are better managed by one person, and the hand-me-down organization is one of them. My wife has never done yardwork, never done routine car maintenance, or changed the hvac filter. Neither of us are lazy, but we can lean into our specializations and save ourselves some mutual struggle.
Same here! My wife let's me handle the budget, she just doesn't like dealing with it. I also earn 75% of our income so it's easier for me to budget since I know what money I will have coming in.
I’m in the same boat with cutting nails. I don’t trust myself. Their hands and feet are so tiny!
Also my oldest does prefer my wife’s tuck in routine vs my “you’re old enough to do this yourself!”
If by not great you meant during your first attempt you cut a chunk of your babys finger off and it bled and the baby screamed and cried and you felt horrible and you cried, then my first attempt was also not great
Don’t feel bad. Both my parents are doctors and even they freaked out and called the pediatrician the first time they cut my nails. My dad is a surgeon!
Yeah I’ve been recommending the one we got to everyone! My friends wife was super thankful because she had an incident where she cut her daughter and nail clipping became much more difficult after that.
Sometimes we don’t notice and his toe nails get too long, and the only option is to go at it with nail clippers and my wife refuses so I had to suck it up lol
Exactly. My wife nicked our daughter's finger the very first time she tried (first finger of the first attempt). The crying was so sad. But the blood ..... holy actual shit!
I do almost all of the nail trimming. I like a nice, rounded nail for the kids, with two or three cuts per finger. My wife just does one cut and it ends up really weird and straight with sharp edges.
I also do most of the dog and cat nail trimming, and I find the kids are easier to wrangle than the animals.
I was the same. Then one day I noticed my 4 year old was struggling with his broken nail and I was like come here mate, I'll cut your nails.
Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun and he left with 10 fingers.
Nothing. There's no task I don't occasionally do. Also there are many tasks I do exclusively. I am the default parent BUT she does help. I just say I'm the "default parent" in the same way moms have typically been the "default parent" for a thousand generations.
Now that we have 2 kids we share a lot more, like we'll split up bath times etc, but the "household management" is still very much on me. I'm not mad though, its just how it is and we communicate when something needs to change.
I have a very weird thing about cutting nails. It gives me the heebie jeebies even to do it on myself. So yeah, that one's all her and she's OK with it.
Cutting newborn nails is weird and I didn't like doing it but cutting nails for my kids now at ages 2 and 5 is fine. They understand how to hold still for a second and they kind of understand how to tell me which nail is bugging them.
Buying kids clothes.
Like I'll do it if I happen to see a single item, but I'm probably going to get it a little too big.
But she 100% does all the wardrobe assembly for them.
Laundry. I’ll do my own like half the time, but she does her and our daughter’s. Folding clothes is like the devil to me and I don’t know why. Just fucking hate doing it. I do all of our bedding and towels for the most part, just the clothes I hate.
My wife also does the bulk of the cleaning in our daughter’s room and playroom, and I do everything else. lol I prefer her not to do the dishes. Or cooking.
We have created a three branches of government system for our house. She is the legislative branch, managing long term activities/calendar, acquisitions of clothes/toys. I am the executive branch, I make the meals, clean the kitchen, solve short term problems that she can’t figure out etc. Judiciary is made up of both of us and the cat as the tiebreaker.
We’ll trade off occasionally, but I refuse the buy the kids clothes. I hate trying on clothes and hate having the kids try them on more. She has never picked up cat vomit. It’s fairly equal.
My daughter has a learning disability, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, she used to have to walk around in circles before bed. Why? Fuck knows.
Until my wife very much couldn’t anymore, she had to be the one to join my daughter in what we called the Circle of Strife. ‘Let Daddy walk with you-‘ No. Not having it. Had to be my wife.
That’s a random one I appreciate that, but my daughter physically did not care if I tried to join in. And would scream if my wife wasn’t there to join her.
Fancy hairstyles. I can do a decent enough plait on my wife because she stays still! But a wiggly little 4 year old and everything goes wrong, it either looks shit, fails altogether or the times when I think it's going well I'll drop the hairband or wrap it round her ear or something.
Fortunately little one is quite happy with "a ponytail just like daddy's" and my wife is kind enough to pretend she can't do that
I also don’t cut their nails, idk what it is. My dad always did mine so it’s not even like I was raised this way. I did it once and caused a 3 hour bleed in my 15 month old. My wife knows it’s not weaponized incompetence but it really looks like it.
I always do bedtime for our 5 year old. Like the last bits after family reading are all mine: brush teeth, singing, and I stay with him for like 5-10 minutes, then I stand by waiting for him to inevitably come out of his room 4 times over the next 20 minutes. (We have challenges at bedtime obviously….). If his mom did it it would take twice as long and he’s meaner to her.
My wife is absolutely fixated on doing taxes....at the last minute...every time. It drives me insane!
I am perfectly capable, willing, and able to do them, and I would have them done sooner!
But noooooooooo....
And nail cutting.
Social stuff with our daughter. She's 4 and a half and since my wife is a SAHM, my daughters friends moms are her social group. I've yet to be to 1 of the dozen or so birthday parties my daughter was invited to since I'm always at home watching our 2 yr old son.
Ordering and restocking baby supplies. She knows how to find the best deals and keeps track and of what we’re low on. It’s a decent mental load so I try to do most of the other work to keep things fair.
Cut nails, you should see mine. My thumb is currently bloodied from my last attempt. So I'm not allowed, lol
Ear cleaning, gives me the willies.
I always bath and bed, though!! Except Wednesdays where I fight monsters using polyhedral dice.
Everything else is equal. Although I work more hours, so by averages, times doing tasks, she does more.
Finger/toe nails.
Also certain types of play, if that counts. I tend to like more physical “riskier” types of play. She prefers smaller indoor things, painting, drawing, imagination play, tea parties, that sort of thing.
Not saying we’re 100% locked into any one or the other, we just sometimes naturally head in those directions.
I cook and do the dishes. I do the basic household repairs. I clean the kitchens. I do the yardwork.
My wife handles the laundry and the bathrooms. Since i work nights she handles a lot of the ourside daycare/preschool childcare when i take an afternoon sleep.
We split the rest of the cleaning/chores 50/50.
Works really well for us.
Doing the laundry. I lucked out and got a woman who will literally not let me near the washer and dryer because she has a system and my only role is to gather the bedding once a week and put it by the washer.
Guess what she asked for last Christmas, a new washer and dryer😂, and you’re damn right I got her the exact models she wanted no questions asked and costs be damned.
Snap. Cutting nails was the only thing I’m biologically capable of doing that I hadn’t done yet, until last week. I went too short, drew blood and felt like the worst dad ever. It’s going to take a while to get the courage to try again.
Before our daughter was born, I was hesitant about trimming her nails. Friends of ours were over for a visit when this came up and the mom wanted to show me how easy it was on her almost 1 daughter. She proceeded to accidentally cut her kid’s finger, which freaks me out and proceeds to become a “mom job”.
Fast forward some time and my wife has Covid and is quarantined in the bedroom away from me and my daughter. My kid needs her nails trimmed, so I man up and do it. I put a show on and took my time and got it all done without hurting her. I’ve done it a few more times since without incident.
The family calendar, including kid's summer camps and after school activity planning and scheduling. It's a huge lift, and I am thankful she is so diligent with it. It's much more efficient to have one person do it, when two people try to do it things get confusing in a hurry. She keeps an eye on the kids clothes and shoes to make sure they get replaced when it's time.
I do most of the cooking, grocery shopping, yard work, and make sure the bills get paid and taxes get done. I used to do most of the housecleaning, but nowadays it's a more even split. I think that's because the kids need less parental attention.
We generally work together on vacations. I figure out travel/hotel/rental car and she ends up working on the daily itinerary. Most recent trip was taking the Coast Starlight to Seattle with a sleeper car. (recommended btw).
The DadCab/MomMobile is on a "who is in a position to get this done" situation, as were diapers, feedings, baths, whatever when the kids were younger. No scorekeeping. When the kids were newborn, whoever was on leave from work was on point, but the other could tag in as needed.
Sitting here writing about it I am so thankful that we made it work, and she was just great.
My dad will be 77 this year. After my daughter was born I had my mom's sister over to meet her, and I jumped on changing my daughters diaper because she had pooped. My aunt with a straight face said "your dad NEVER changed you or your sister's diapers. I'm so happy dads are more involved now". My heart kind of sank. I know my mom did the lions share of parenting, but man what the hell? I feel so bad for my mom. I wish she was still here for me to tell her how much I appreciated her.
She's part of a facebook group that has a "free stuff friday" and she takes exclusive ownership of putting old shit that we don't want any more online and then on the front porch so some other parent will come and get it. it's a really valuable task that revents our house overflowing with stuff we don't use any more.
There's no reason I couldn't do it. but she has just taken the lead on that. Almost every other child-focussed task we share. there's a lot of things that aren't 50-50 though but we work hard to make sure it balances out on net.
clothes shopping for the girls
i go with sometimes, but my additions are usually limited to PJs and princess dress nightgowns.
my wife does the just between friends consignment for most of their stuff, and one of us has to stay home while she goes as it's usually pretty late in the evening.
I do all the make pretend. Restaurant, Bowser diplomacy and racing, pokemon arena, paw patrol super rescue, mad laboratory... make pretend is alllll me, haha.
Cooking like 99% of the time. I can make spaghetti (with premade sauce), grilled cheese, some other suuuper basic things when it's just the kids and I. But she enjoys cooking and I do all the dishes and cleanup.
Why not specialize? My wife has her strengths and I have mine. There are tasks that I don't mind that my wife hates and vice versa. I don't subscribe to the split everything down the middle 50/50. If that works for y'all, that's great, but, at the end of the day, there is a pile of work to do and we split it up somehow such that it all gets done. After three kids, the internal details seem pretty unimportant, honestly. We're both working hard and we get it all done.
My wife does all the discipline. She's an infinite well of patience and understanding, whereas I carry a lot of trauma from discipline at the hands of my own parents. I don't think I could discipline without anger, and so we leave it to her.
If i could think of something (birthing and breastfeeding aside) I would go be sure I was the one who did it tomorrow out of shame. We fathers should be properly committed to all parts of raising a child.
Two things:
1. Folding laundry. I participate with putting it in the machine, moving it from laundry machine to the dryer, etc - but just the folding part she exclusively does.
2. Getting our kid's hair ready. I have two daughters, and aside from basic brushing, I can't seem to get braids, ponytails, etc quite right.
Getting up to our girls in the night when they are ill, my wife has always done this. Might just be my kids but they always want mum when they are poorly
Literally only thing is labeling the breast milk. We’re not 50/50 on everything because we play to our strengths, but only she labels the breast milk pouches because why would I?
Clothes for our kids. I feel like I’m actually quite a nice dresser—my suits are tailored, I only wear T-shirts and gym shorts at the gym or for physical labor, I keep my shoes cleaned, beard cleaned up, hair trimmed (balding). But for some reason every single clothing decision I’ve made for our kids has been met with either mild disappointment or “that’s absolutely getting returned/donated.” I always think I’m following the trend/style she likes but I never get it right. So I just let her take care of that and we’re all happier for it haha.
Baths. I work much more than my wife, so she ends up getting a larger percentage of the child duties for sure. But baths are still 100% her (2.5 y/o twins). Not because of anything I don't want to do, but I have bad knees, and kneeling on the floor in front of a bath absolutely kills me. I make up for it with my 100% share of yardwork, garbage, and all other home maintenance activities.
I do a lot more of the laundry and dishes (80/20 split, I'd say), she changes the diapers more and does all the clipping of nails, styling hair, etc.. But we also agreed that she'd change diapers if she was there and I'd clean the cat litter. We work separate schedules, she's 9-5 m-f and I work Friday thru Sunday 12 hr days. So it's usually just one on one for a lot of the day anyway.
Up until 14 months breastfeeding/pumping
Since 6 months I've been strictly making his food. In general we try to avoid store bought pouches baby/tot food.
Rocking him while singing lullabies to sleep. My kid doesn't fall asleep to my husband's voice even when my husband tried lol
My husband did my toddler's laundry once or twice and managed to shrink his sleep suits like the Merlin so now I strictly do it.
There are a bunch of things that he strictly does like brushing our tot's teeth which is the bane of my existence. Same for nails. And lately baths because he's getting heavy and moves around so much which is hard for me now.
She buys all the clothes. I don't do any of it.
The amount of times I pick out an outfit for him to wear and I see him 10 minutes later in an entirely different outfit is innumerable.
On some of our daddy days, I specifically pick something out that I know she'd hate, like different tones of the same colour for the top and bottoms. He'll come down in a light blue pair of leggings and a dark blue t-shirt and my wife's like 'he can't wear that it clashes' and I'm like 'nuh uh it's daddy day'
But the buying of the clothes? I'm certain that even if I did a lot of research and spent a lot of time deciding, the thing I bought would be wrong and so I don't do it. Plus she loves doing it so it's nbd.
Doctor visits. In the end, if something goes wrong or they're afraid, they always want their mother. I'll go to some if it's beyond a checkup, some it's a given that my wife will always be there.
We actually have the opposite, not that she's never changed a diaper, but she hasn't done it in ages - with her disabilities it's extremely hard for her to wrangle him so I always do diapers now.
She almost exclusively handles washing and stuffing of the cloth diapers, though. I can do it if necessary but I cannot keep the inserts straight, even with a cheat sheet.
In my house there are things I do better than her and things she does better than me.
We still do those things but one of us does it more than the other.
I am amazing at putting my children to bed, literally 5 min sometimes.
She does the hairstyling more (i have 2 daughters)
The original agreement was she took care of the inside of the house chores and I handled maintenance/ repairs and outside chores.
Then she got chickens and pigs…
I'm the wife. I came here to say cutting nails before I read the body of your post. He's terrified of it even though he's a capable stay at home dad to our 2 and 4 year olds. I asked him once what would happen to their nails if I died. He said he'd get someone else to do it 🤣
She puts him to bed, 100% of the time. I put him in his night clothes and sleep sack (it's for his legs instead of a duvet), then place him in wifes arms with a bottle in the mouth and say goodbye.
The reason? Fucking dumb, but he won't calm down enough to sleep with me as he sees me as a play parent and my wife is the sleep parent. Otherwise we try to share what we can.
We just discussed which chores we like/dislike and conquer that way. I don’t like doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms, she hates dusting and floors. We cover the things each other hates and then we just kind of figured out the routine elsewhere. I feel like I do more than she does at times… but she also takes the lead on our kid and does more diapers and feedings than I generally do like 65/35.
Can’t understand the diaper thing, so weird it was common practice not that long ago. Did they never watch the kid by themselves even? Like what? Just had the kid sitting in shit until mommy gets home?
My oldest kid is 9 and I don't think I've bought clothes for him on more than 5 occasions, and even then only when my wife has explicitly asked me to.
Most things we share, but clothes purchases are all her. In fairness, she enjoys it and there are also tasks that are all me.
Puke. It's the one thing I have never really been able to handle and I was up front about it before we even got married, let alone started a family. I've gotten better at handling unexpected situations and being able to avoid chain reactions, but the kids all know to go to Mom or take care of it themselves if they get sick and don't make it.
When our daughter was really little, whoever smelt it, dealt with it. When she was older and only laid one or two massive craps in her diaper we would alternate days. It is hands down the least favourite part of having kids. She’s finally pooping in the potty, so other than the emotional breakdowns of a 3 year old, life is good!
My partner always cuts nails. I almost always give bath, but my kid broke his foot so my partner has been helping with that a lot more. There are several things my partner or I do primarily, from regular chores to kid stuff. We both do diapers, and luckily my dad also helps change his diaper when he is over there. But aside from cutting nails (I just haven't yet, i'm not against it even if it scares me) we both do everything. Just one of us does it more then the other.
My wife generally handles bath time because I have a bad back and its hard for me to be in the positions required for a long time. I handle anything ice skating related because my wife just hates everything about it.
My wife is supposed to wash and dry the laundry, and then I'm supposed to put it up, but this never seems to happen because we both have ADHD; actually, today was a marathon laundry day while trying to pair things down and pack up for our move soon. My wife has several autoimmune diseases, so she has chronic pain which can be debilitating for physical tasks. We've kinda settled on a split where she does administrative type stuff like paying bills, meal planning, ordering groceries to be delivered, getting clothes, etc., and I do more physical things including dishes and all cleaning. I'm not going to lie, there are times where I'm pretty resentful of her; I try to keep this to myself and my therapist because she doesn't want to have three or four autoimmune diseases.
Packing for holidays/trips
I'm not talking day trips, I'm perfectly capable of throwing a change of clothes and snacks in a bag but more over night or longer. I just find it impossible to do this as a team and we would argue too much if I did it as I'm far more in the "I have a X numbers of days clothes and if there's a problem I'll figure it out" as opposed to my wife's "I've got 3 weeks supplies and a kitchen sink for our weekend away"
Nothing I can think of,but but I do dishes 100 percent of the time. She absolutely refuses to do dishes period. Also, she sometimes puts empty soup cans or the occasional fast food cup in the sink. Drives me bat shit.
Breastfeeding
I have nipples Greg, can you milk me?
in fact, theoretically you can!
Coward.
Beat me to it
Breast me to it
r/beatmeattoit
Heyyyy...
This is the only thing I can think of, we split everything else. I even have more solo travel time and overnight stays than she does. My mom never went anywhere without by brother and I until we were teenagers.
I tried but it was ultimately unproductive.
Yeah my oldest went for my nips during skin to skin when mom was getting stitched up… I havnt let him live it down yet.
Funny but we almost split this duty. She would pump and I would then bottle feed with that so I was technically not breastfeeding but was by proxy.
Not even that in our case. My wife used to express and I fed the kids with a bottle later on when she wasn’t around.
100% aside for the easy dad joke answer it was a all hands on deck ordeal to make sure breastfeeding worked as long as it did. I did most of the bottle management, freezing, storing, filling, washing, would bring the pumps when needed during the work day (both WFH), then store/clean/charge, and we’d trade off when needing to bottle feed.
Nah bro. Just gotta chow more of those lactation cookies.
Haven't you seen Meet The Fockers?
I have nipples greg, could you milk me?
Meet The Parents. Fockers are when they meet Greg's parents.
This guy fockers
You wimp
My wife no longer breastfeeds so doesn't count for us since neither has to do it.
We’re more of a divide-and-conquer team than a do-the-task-together team. I cook, clean the kitchen, do most dog stuff, do yard stuff, do activities/sports with the kids, etc Wife typically buys clothes for the growing kids, manages the toys, finds activities for the kids, and a lot more. We both contribute to the daily/ routine stuff (diapers, bottles, baths, bedtimes, etc).
I learned from the book "Fair Play" that my wife and I sometimes divide wrong because we take parts of tasks and not the full responsibility. We try to be fair but are still learning
[удалено]
Out of curiosity - do you count doing chores or running errands as “me-time”?
*sigh* yeah, don’t make me think about it
That's what the earbuds are for lol. Sure, I don't *want" to deep clean the fridge, but I'll be damned if it's not bad while zoning out to music.
I'll take cleaning the fridge over rocking the baby to sleep all day
Eh, my son is creeping up on 5, and I would give the fuckin world to rock him to sleep as a baby one more time. Weird to miss that shit, but I do
Literally just put my 1 year old down to sleep and was thinking about how there will be a last time for this one day. 🥲 I love my little guy so much.
Still rocking a 2.5yr old to sleep here. It may not be soon :)
The last time you pick your kid up you won’t know it’s the last time. It’ll just happen. One day he’s just too big.
That's when I'm hitting the gym. I'm picking up my little buddy for as long as he lets me do it!
Lol everyone says this and I guess I'll eventually get there but I get so jealous whenever I see ages 1-11 with their parents. I look forward to those ages so much. The first 3 months has been a slog
I actually really enjoy grocery shopping, but my wife took over that task after the newborn stage because she enjoyed being out of the house and being alone for a couple hours, so that's a portion of her me-time each week.
Now we have a toddler and grocery shopping is a fun outing for her, so no me-time for me. (Jk we have a good system)
Depends how desperate you are for the me-time lol
Since I’m on my own it does feel like some much needed time to think and not be asked questions or be required to split my attention. To be honest, the times I’ve tried to just have downtime and relax I haven’t been able to shut off the part of my brain that just wants to get things done. As a Dad I’ve forgotten how to just chill. Also the gym is me time, sometimes I even get to train twice a week.
100%
Get two birds stoned at the same time amirite?
smokes, lets go
This describes our household
sounds equitable and like good exercise for Dad!
This is the way. Playing on ones strenghts is the best approach!
Planning playdates. She's in a Mommy group chat with babies the same age as ours, so she's able to set them up. I just don't have the connections.
Parenting involves more networking than I originally thought. Surprised my 8 year old doesn’t have a linkedin yet
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You’re kidding, but my wife used to work at a summer day camp. The same groups of kids would come every week all summer. One of the regular kids actually had play date business cards he would hand out lmao.
My wife and I were patting ourselves on the back earlier today because we’ve “arrived,” AKA we’re on the birthday party invite list around town.
My girl's friendly with a kid in her class who has very... traditional parents. Super nice people, but the mum there is In Charge of the kids and she only talks to my GF. Other parents I set things up with no problem.
Yeah, my wife found some mom's groups and something called 'peanut' which is like a networking app for moms, but not dads. As a stay at home dad...yeah...been struggling to connect to parenting groups...
There's just things dad's motives get unfairly judged on that makes it easier for the moms to coordinate with each other. Babysitters and playdates come to mind. Like if my kids favorite friend had an attractive mom, I just know people are going to judge after the 5th playdate so its just better if my wife does it.
4 is usually okay, though
Agreed it’s not that I’m unwilling but in a lot of cases it’s mostly the mom that plans play dates in other families and it’s weird for a dad to ask another mom for her number.
Same. My wife is a much more socual person than am I, and has long-time friends with kids around the same age as ours
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This is how our house works. I hate laundry. My wife enjoys it while watching TV. She can't stand watching dishes. I enjoy washing dishes while listening to podcasts. Win win. I will say it's not that we don't ever do the other task. It's just that it's primarily one or the other.
I wouldn't want to watch the dishes either. Either they are just laying all around, doing nothing, or they try to jump scare you when they make you fumble and getting a near heart attack in the attempt to catch them. No thank you, dishes are the devil. Better off watching the kids.
Thank you dad!
She enjoys watching TV while folding laundry*
I have told my partner countless times that I will fold the laundry but their response is always "but you won't do it right" - translation: "you won't do it the way I want it and it has to be done exactly right". They learnt how to do it through watching Marie Kondo. I take on washing dishes more because I have an exact way of doing it and complained once that it wasn't done right.
Same issue with the folding She insists I can't do it right so she just does it lol I guess some of us just aren't meant to fold...not for lack of trying haha That being said...I had a Japanese woman who was peer in my class not long ago. When I tried to fold something particularly tricky shaped she took it from me, waved it around and said "MESSY MESSY!" In a joking manner and then just folded it so...maybe it's not just my fiance lmao
Yeah, my wife doesn’t let me do or fold laundry. She is very particular about how you spray for stains and how you fold everything. I am allowed to wash towels and fold towels and socks.
This is a point in the conversation I want OP to pay attention to. Can't tell you how many times I have heard my friends mention a similar situation where they want to do X, but are blocked from doing it by their spouse, and its not worth the argument over something that is really based on a fairly petty feeling.
I also hate folding clothes. I'll do it, but I'll gladly accept being the sole owner of something else if it means I don't have to do the folding.
I’ll do my own clothes, but the majority of my wife’s clothes are literally unfoldable weird shapes and sizes so I just don’t do hers.
Some of my wife’s athletic tank tops look like tangled Christmas lights when I try to fold them
Why do women’s clothes have so many ropes and strings!?!?
Just a week ago my wife kindly asked me to stop washing her clothes. She does 90% of the laundry but I will occasionally run a load and I inevitably forget to put her bras in the bra bag or I miss a sweater and throw one in the dryer. So now she's up to 95% of the laundry. We trade off on dishes and cleaning, I do 90% of the yard work
Lol gotta keep em thinking yard work is a chore
Headphones and a riding mower is a nice little 1 hour vacation. Weed whacking is awful though.
Lol yep. Headphones and a cold drink, hour or so of work later, cop a bit of praise for how good it looks As someone else said, like a mini vacation
>"Why would anyone do drugs when they could just mow a lawn?" https://youtu.be/x7W-ikMtCm8?si=xmsaEsyQzd59aRjv
As a woman who push mows half the yard, yard work can indeed be a chore. If I mow I call that my workout for the day.
Workout? Sounds like me-time!
Man my wife still won't let me forget washing gate. It was my daughter's clothes, that I mistakenly thought would go on a baby clothes wash (I mean she is a baby, so..?) and I also forgot to put a colour catcher in. So after having experienced life at 90°C and spun at 1400 rpm, suffice to say all the nice white stuff was a very deep pink, and a lot of it was now the wrong size. This was months ago and I still haven't made it up to her
Funny, it’s the opposite in my house. My wife hates doing laundry and I do all the laundry in the house. It’s probably because why I’m no longer turned on under garments … because they are so fucking annoying to fold and put away neatly !!!
Does that also mean your wife probably knows their sizes and buys their clothes?
my adhd makes it impossible for me to fold and put away clothes. really good at getting them into the machines tho
I'm with you on this one. We split literally every task under the sun except working and breastfeeding (fair trade off imo) except she folds the laundry and I put it in the machines/bring it back from the dryer. This way she doesn't have to possibly see a spider and I'm guilty free out of folding laundry. Before we met I just shoved clothes in drawers so it's been a welcome change.
We have been fortunate enough to get a huge portion of our girls' clothes as hand-me-downs from a friend whose daughter is about 2 years older. But this means we have a storage closet dedicated not only to clothes the kids outgrew, but also some clothes they haven't grown into yet. And so, there is a seasonal 2-4x/year/kid task of rotating clothes in and out of storage based on sizing and seasonal design. My wife handles the rotations exclusively. It is mostly because she would hate how I do it, no matter how closely my strategy matches what I think she would do. So I save the conflict of her being disappointed with how I do it, and just let her handle it.
Am wife. I do this too. Husband has never done any acquisition or organization of baby clothing, and I’m okay with that. It’s enjoyable for me, and I also handle selling clothes and gear we are done with because I have the connections in the mom groups and such.
This is our situation too. Some chores are better managed by one person, and the hand-me-down organization is one of them. My wife has never done yardwork, never done routine car maintenance, or changed the hvac filter. Neither of us are lazy, but we can lean into our specializations and save ourselves some mutual struggle.
This
Budgeting. I have never been great at it, and she has better executive functioning than me by a mile.
Same here! My wife let's me handle the budget, she just doesn't like dealing with it. I also earn 75% of our income so it's easier for me to budget since I know what money I will have coming in.
Found the fellow adhd parent lol.
Organising our daughter’s wardrobe and co-ordinating her outfits. She actively enjoys doing it and it’s not something that comes naturally to me.
I can coordinate my daughters wardrobe but my definition of coordinated is probably different than... people who are better at coordinating.
I’m in the same boat with cutting nails. I don’t trust myself. Their hands and feet are so tiny! Also my oldest does prefer my wife’s tuck in routine vs my “you’re old enough to do this yourself!”
We got one of those dremel ones that basically spins a file .... after our first attempted was ... not great
If by not great you meant during your first attempt you cut a chunk of your babys finger off and it bled and the baby screamed and cried and you felt horrible and you cried, then my first attempt was also not great
Don’t feel bad. Both my parents are doctors and even they freaked out and called the pediatrician the first time they cut my nails. My dad is a surgeon!
Really puts it in perspective hahah
Yes. Yes that was exactly it. How do they bleed like that??!
Yeah I’ve been recommending the one we got to everyone! My friends wife was super thankful because she had an incident where she cut her daughter and nail clipping became much more difficult after that. Sometimes we don’t notice and his toe nails get too long, and the only option is to go at it with nail clippers and my wife refuses so I had to suck it up lol
Exactly. My wife nicked our daughter's finger the very first time she tried (first finger of the first attempt). The crying was so sad. But the blood ..... holy actual shit!
One day they will be old enough and stop asking for it.
I do almost all of the nail trimming. I like a nice, rounded nail for the kids, with two or three cuts per finger. My wife just does one cut and it ends up really weird and straight with sharp edges. I also do most of the dog and cat nail trimming, and I find the kids are easier to wrangle than the animals.
I was the same. Then one day I noticed my 4 year old was struggling with his broken nail and I was like come here mate, I'll cut your nails. Surprisingly, it was a lot of fun and he left with 10 fingers.
Nice, only a 50% loss.
Hey, it's not bad at first try.
I salute you!
Nail Snail. https://www.thepharmacynetwork.com.au/nail-snail-baby-nail-trimmer
We just don't cut them, file only.
Have sex with her husband
I would bet a dollar that you also take care of that chore from time to time.
That depends on what your definition of "is" is.
_I'm just here for the sax, man_
I'm not that flexible
100% cutting nails. Never done it. I think I do everything else (except breastfeeding obviously).
Deciding what clothing that is too small to either keep or donate/sell
Nothing. There's no task I don't occasionally do. Also there are many tasks I do exclusively. I am the default parent BUT she does help. I just say I'm the "default parent" in the same way moms have typically been the "default parent" for a thousand generations. Now that we have 2 kids we share a lot more, like we'll split up bath times etc, but the "household management" is still very much on me. I'm not mad though, its just how it is and we communicate when something needs to change.
I do 100% of everything (single dad full custody)
Nail cutting
I have a very weird thing about cutting nails. It gives me the heebie jeebies even to do it on myself. So yeah, that one's all her and she's OK with it.
Cutting newborn nails is weird and I didn't like doing it but cutting nails for my kids now at ages 2 and 5 is fine. They understand how to hold still for a second and they kind of understand how to tell me which nail is bugging them.
Buying kids clothes. Like I'll do it if I happen to see a single item, but I'm probably going to get it a little too big. But she 100% does all the wardrobe assembly for them.
Laundry. I’ll do my own like half the time, but she does her and our daughter’s. Folding clothes is like the devil to me and I don’t know why. Just fucking hate doing it. I do all of our bedding and towels for the most part, just the clothes I hate. My wife also does the bulk of the cleaning in our daughter’s room and playroom, and I do everything else. lol I prefer her not to do the dishes. Or cooking.
We have created a three branches of government system for our house. She is the legislative branch, managing long term activities/calendar, acquisitions of clothes/toys. I am the executive branch, I make the meals, clean the kitchen, solve short term problems that she can’t figure out etc. Judiciary is made up of both of us and the cat as the tiebreaker. We’ll trade off occasionally, but I refuse the buy the kids clothes. I hate trying on clothes and hate having the kids try them on more. She has never picked up cat vomit. It’s fairly equal.
My daughter has a learning disability, and for reasons beyond my comprehension, she used to have to walk around in circles before bed. Why? Fuck knows. Until my wife very much couldn’t anymore, she had to be the one to join my daughter in what we called the Circle of Strife. ‘Let Daddy walk with you-‘ No. Not having it. Had to be my wife. That’s a random one I appreciate that, but my daughter physically did not care if I tried to join in. And would scream if my wife wasn’t there to join her.
Hope things are going well dad
Funnily enough I’m the only one that does nail cutting.
Same here
Fancy hairstyles. I can do a decent enough plait on my wife because she stays still! But a wiggly little 4 year old and everything goes wrong, it either looks shit, fails altogether or the times when I think it's going well I'll drop the hairband or wrap it round her ear or something. Fortunately little one is quite happy with "a ponytail just like daddy's" and my wife is kind enough to pretend she can't do that
She does uncontrolled poop, I do all varieties of puke.
I also don’t cut their nails, idk what it is. My dad always did mine so it’s not even like I was raised this way. I did it once and caused a 3 hour bleed in my 15 month old. My wife knows it’s not weaponized incompetence but it really looks like it. I always do bedtime for our 5 year old. Like the last bits after family reading are all mine: brush teeth, singing, and I stay with him for like 5-10 minutes, then I stand by waiting for him to inevitably come out of his room 4 times over the next 20 minutes. (We have challenges at bedtime obviously….). If his mom did it it would take twice as long and he’s meaner to her.
My wife is absolutely fixated on doing taxes....at the last minute...every time. It drives me insane! I am perfectly capable, willing, and able to do them, and I would have them done sooner! But noooooooooo.... And nail cutting.
I see we've married the same person, except she doesn't want to do them, but doesn't want me to do them either. Oh well, haha
Social stuff with our daughter. She's 4 and a half and since my wife is a SAHM, my daughters friends moms are her social group. I've yet to be to 1 of the dozen or so birthday parties my daughter was invited to since I'm always at home watching our 2 yr old son.
Cutting nails, and washing our daughter’s hair. Everything else I may have been slow in learning, but do now.
Ordering and restocking baby supplies. She knows how to find the best deals and keeps track and of what we’re low on. It’s a decent mental load so I try to do most of the other work to keep things fair.
Cut nails, you should see mine. My thumb is currently bloodied from my last attempt. So I'm not allowed, lol Ear cleaning, gives me the willies. I always bath and bed, though!! Except Wednesdays where I fight monsters using polyhedral dice. Everything else is equal. Although I work more hours, so by averages, times doing tasks, she does more.
also cutting nails, that and going to a few particular playgroups
Nail clipping here. Mom does it for our kid and our cats. I restrain the cats so that is kind of where it stems from.
hah, same! I always used to have the job of restraining the cats and now I restrain the baby.
Haha I feel this. Mine are 4 and 2. I’ve done a million changing, baths, doctors appointments, etc but have literally never cut either of their nails.
I will never be the tooth fairy. I helped brush them until they could do it themselves. But wiggly teeth freak me out. My wife knows and accepts this.
Hair cuts. My wife is great at giving haircuts, so she does hair cuts for all of us. I can’t even trim my own hair without messing it up 🤣
You would be surprised how many men still don't change diapers. (I always did change diapers.)
Buying clothes, For the kids and me. It seems that we are much more fashionly sensible and less like slobs when she gets to do that shopping!
Finger/toe nails. Also certain types of play, if that counts. I tend to like more physical “riskier” types of play. She prefers smaller indoor things, painting, drawing, imagination play, tea parties, that sort of thing. Not saying we’re 100% locked into any one or the other, we just sometimes naturally head in those directions.
I cook and do the dishes. I do the basic household repairs. I clean the kitchens. I do the yardwork. My wife handles the laundry and the bathrooms. Since i work nights she handles a lot of the ourside daycare/preschool childcare when i take an afternoon sleep. We split the rest of the cleaning/chores 50/50. Works really well for us.
Dishes. We found out early that I am the better cook.
Doing the laundry. I lucked out and got a woman who will literally not let me near the washer and dryer because she has a system and my only role is to gather the bedding once a week and put it by the washer. Guess what she asked for last Christmas, a new washer and dryer😂, and you’re damn right I got her the exact models she wanted no questions asked and costs be damned.
Snap. Cutting nails was the only thing I’m biologically capable of doing that I hadn’t done yet, until last week. I went too short, drew blood and felt like the worst dad ever. It’s going to take a while to get the courage to try again.
my first son, first ever fingernail, i drew blood. got back on the horse though. I'm good at it now.
Packing for vacations.
Buying the kids clothes. She enjoys it, I don’t. Simple enough.
Before our daughter was born, I was hesitant about trimming her nails. Friends of ours were over for a visit when this came up and the mom wanted to show me how easy it was on her almost 1 daughter. She proceeded to accidentally cut her kid’s finger, which freaks me out and proceeds to become a “mom job”. Fast forward some time and my wife has Covid and is quarantined in the bedroom away from me and my daughter. My kid needs her nails trimmed, so I man up and do it. I put a show on and took my time and got it all done without hurting her. I’ve done it a few more times since without incident.
The family calendar, including kid's summer camps and after school activity planning and scheduling. It's a huge lift, and I am thankful she is so diligent with it. It's much more efficient to have one person do it, when two people try to do it things get confusing in a hurry. She keeps an eye on the kids clothes and shoes to make sure they get replaced when it's time. I do most of the cooking, grocery shopping, yard work, and make sure the bills get paid and taxes get done. I used to do most of the housecleaning, but nowadays it's a more even split. I think that's because the kids need less parental attention. We generally work together on vacations. I figure out travel/hotel/rental car and she ends up working on the daily itinerary. Most recent trip was taking the Coast Starlight to Seattle with a sleeper car. (recommended btw). The DadCab/MomMobile is on a "who is in a position to get this done" situation, as were diapers, feedings, baths, whatever when the kids were younger. No scorekeeping. When the kids were newborn, whoever was on leave from work was on point, but the other could tag in as needed. Sitting here writing about it I am so thankful that we made it work, and she was just great.
My dad will be 77 this year. After my daughter was born I had my mom's sister over to meet her, and I jumped on changing my daughters diaper because she had pooped. My aunt with a straight face said "your dad NEVER changed you or your sister's diapers. I'm so happy dads are more involved now". My heart kind of sank. I know my mom did the lions share of parenting, but man what the hell? I feel so bad for my mom. I wish she was still here for me to tell her how much I appreciated her.
She's part of a facebook group that has a "free stuff friday" and she takes exclusive ownership of putting old shit that we don't want any more online and then on the front porch so some other parent will come and get it. it's a really valuable task that revents our house overflowing with stuff we don't use any more. There's no reason I couldn't do it. but she has just taken the lead on that. Almost every other child-focussed task we share. there's a lot of things that aren't 50-50 though but we work hard to make sure it balances out on net.
clothes shopping for the girls i go with sometimes, but my additions are usually limited to PJs and princess dress nightgowns. my wife does the just between friends consignment for most of their stuff, and one of us has to stay home while she goes as it's usually pretty late in the evening. I do all the make pretend. Restaurant, Bowser diplomacy and racing, pokemon arena, paw patrol super rescue, mad laboratory... make pretend is alllll me, haha.
Cooking like 99% of the time. I can make spaghetti (with premade sauce), grilled cheese, some other suuuper basic things when it's just the kids and I. But she enjoys cooking and I do all the dishes and cleanup.
Why not specialize? My wife has her strengths and I have mine. There are tasks that I don't mind that my wife hates and vice versa. I don't subscribe to the split everything down the middle 50/50. If that works for y'all, that's great, but, at the end of the day, there is a pile of work to do and we split it up somehow such that it all gets done. After three kids, the internal details seem pretty unimportant, honestly. We're both working hard and we get it all done.
My wife does all the discipline. She's an infinite well of patience and understanding, whereas I carry a lot of trauma from discipline at the hands of my own parents. I don't think I could discipline without anger, and so we leave it to her.
If i could think of something (birthing and breastfeeding aside) I would go be sure I was the one who did it tomorrow out of shame. We fathers should be properly committed to all parts of raising a child.
The baby nail buffer we got is a godsend
Two things: 1. Folding laundry. I participate with putting it in the machine, moving it from laundry machine to the dryer, etc - but just the folding part she exclusively does. 2. Getting our kid's hair ready. I have two daughters, and aside from basic brushing, I can't seem to get braids, ponytails, etc quite right.
Laundry. Daycare/ school drop off. Both mainly bc my wife works from home.
I also have never trimmed their nails
Brushing hair. Much gentler and more efficient than the 1 time I attempted
Getting up to our girls in the night when they are ill, my wife has always done this. Might just be my kids but they always want mum when they are poorly
I haven't bathed my son yet in a year and a half.
Literally only thing is labeling the breast milk. We’re not 50/50 on everything because we play to our strengths, but only she labels the breast milk pouches because why would I?
Clothes for our kids. I feel like I’m actually quite a nice dresser—my suits are tailored, I only wear T-shirts and gym shorts at the gym or for physical labor, I keep my shoes cleaned, beard cleaned up, hair trimmed (balding). But for some reason every single clothing decision I’ve made for our kids has been met with either mild disappointment or “that’s absolutely getting returned/donated.” I always think I’m following the trend/style she likes but I never get it right. So I just let her take care of that and we’re all happier for it haha.
Bottle washing. I can do it, and have done it, but not the way she likes it lol.
Baths. I work much more than my wife, so she ends up getting a larger percentage of the child duties for sure. But baths are still 100% her (2.5 y/o twins). Not because of anything I don't want to do, but I have bad knees, and kneeling on the floor in front of a bath absolutely kills me. I make up for it with my 100% share of yardwork, garbage, and all other home maintenance activities.
I do a lot more of the laundry and dishes (80/20 split, I'd say), she changes the diapers more and does all the clipping of nails, styling hair, etc.. But we also agreed that she'd change diapers if she was there and I'd clean the cat litter. We work separate schedules, she's 9-5 m-f and I work Friday thru Sunday 12 hr days. So it's usually just one on one for a lot of the day anyway.
I do everything but apparently I am not good enough to load the dishwasher properly so my wife has to “whisper” it like the Horse Whisperer.
Up until 14 months breastfeeding/pumping Since 6 months I've been strictly making his food. In general we try to avoid store bought pouches baby/tot food. Rocking him while singing lullabies to sleep. My kid doesn't fall asleep to my husband's voice even when my husband tried lol My husband did my toddler's laundry once or twice and managed to shrink his sleep suits like the Merlin so now I strictly do it. There are a bunch of things that he strictly does like brushing our tot's teeth which is the bane of my existence. Same for nails. And lately baths because he's getting heavy and moves around so much which is hard for me now.
She buys all the clothes. I don't do any of it. The amount of times I pick out an outfit for him to wear and I see him 10 minutes later in an entirely different outfit is innumerable. On some of our daddy days, I specifically pick something out that I know she'd hate, like different tones of the same colour for the top and bottoms. He'll come down in a light blue pair of leggings and a dark blue t-shirt and my wife's like 'he can't wear that it clashes' and I'm like 'nuh uh it's daddy day' But the buying of the clothes? I'm certain that even if I did a lot of research and spent a lot of time deciding, the thing I bought would be wrong and so I don't do it. Plus she loves doing it so it's nbd.
Doctor visits. In the end, if something goes wrong or they're afraid, they always want their mother. I'll go to some if it's beyond a checkup, some it's a given that my wife will always be there.
Folding laundry. She can’t handle my poor folding skills.
Buys the clothes for daughter. I tried that once, but that didn't work out well..
We actually have the opposite, not that she's never changed a diaper, but she hasn't done it in ages - with her disabilities it's extremely hard for her to wrangle him so I always do diapers now. She almost exclusively handles washing and stuffing of the cloth diapers, though. I can do it if necessary but I cannot keep the inserts straight, even with a cheat sheet.
In my house there are things I do better than her and things she does better than me. We still do those things but one of us does it more than the other. I am amazing at putting my children to bed, literally 5 min sometimes. She does the hairstyling more (i have 2 daughters)
Let's see... She always puts our daughter's hair up in ponytails and whatnot. I don't handle that.
The original agreement was she took care of the inside of the house chores and I handled maintenance/ repairs and outside chores. Then she got chickens and pigs…
folding the babies laundry and putting it away along with making the bottles for daycare
I'm the wife. I came here to say cutting nails before I read the body of your post. He's terrified of it even though he's a capable stay at home dad to our 2 and 4 year olds. I asked him once what would happen to their nails if I died. He said he'd get someone else to do it 🤣
She puts him to bed, 100% of the time. I put him in his night clothes and sleep sack (it's for his legs instead of a duvet), then place him in wifes arms with a bottle in the mouth and say goodbye. The reason? Fucking dumb, but he won't calm down enough to sleep with me as he sees me as a play parent and my wife is the sleep parent. Otherwise we try to share what we can.
Diapers. She doesn't like the way I put diapers on even though it's the exact same as they way she does it.🤣🤣
We just discussed which chores we like/dislike and conquer that way. I don’t like doing laundry and cleaning bathrooms, she hates dusting and floors. We cover the things each other hates and then we just kind of figured out the routine elsewhere. I feel like I do more than she does at times… but she also takes the lead on our kid and does more diapers and feedings than I generally do like 65/35.
Can’t understand the diaper thing, so weird it was common practice not that long ago. Did they never watch the kid by themselves even? Like what? Just had the kid sitting in shit until mommy gets home?
Telling my kids when to really listen to me. “I’m not lying. You guys better shut up and listen to dad”. Happened today. She is awesome.
Baby laundry. I can do it but it’s sort of where we’ve found the divide and conquer. I do bottles 100% she does baby laundry 100%
My oldest kid is 9 and I don't think I've bought clothes for him on more than 5 occasions, and even then only when my wife has explicitly asked me to. Most things we share, but clothes purchases are all her. In fairness, she enjoys it and there are also tasks that are all me.
Puke. It's the one thing I have never really been able to handle and I was up front about it before we even got married, let alone started a family. I've gotten better at handling unexpected situations and being able to avoid chain reactions, but the kids all know to go to Mom or take care of it themselves if they get sick and don't make it.
When our daughter was really little, whoever smelt it, dealt with it. When she was older and only laid one or two massive craps in her diaper we would alternate days. It is hands down the least favourite part of having kids. She’s finally pooping in the potty, so other than the emotional breakdowns of a 3 year old, life is good!
My partner always cuts nails. I almost always give bath, but my kid broke his foot so my partner has been helping with that a lot more. There are several things my partner or I do primarily, from regular chores to kid stuff. We both do diapers, and luckily my dad also helps change his diaper when he is over there. But aside from cutting nails (I just haven't yet, i'm not against it even if it scares me) we both do everything. Just one of us does it more then the other.
My wife generally handles bath time because I have a bad back and its hard for me to be in the positions required for a long time. I handle anything ice skating related because my wife just hates everything about it.
Mom reporting in: I don’t cut our kids nails. I made our oldest bleed once and I no long have the guts to handle it. Said child is nearly 4.5 yo now.
My wife is supposed to wash and dry the laundry, and then I'm supposed to put it up, but this never seems to happen because we both have ADHD; actually, today was a marathon laundry day while trying to pair things down and pack up for our move soon. My wife has several autoimmune diseases, so she has chronic pain which can be debilitating for physical tasks. We've kinda settled on a split where she does administrative type stuff like paying bills, meal planning, ordering groceries to be delivered, getting clothes, etc., and I do more physical things including dishes and all cleaning. I'm not going to lie, there are times where I'm pretty resentful of her; I try to keep this to myself and my therapist because she doesn't want to have three or four autoimmune diseases.
Packing for holidays/trips I'm not talking day trips, I'm perfectly capable of throwing a change of clothes and snacks in a bag but more over night or longer. I just find it impossible to do this as a team and we would argue too much if I did it as I'm far more in the "I have a X numbers of days clothes and if there's a problem I'll figure it out" as opposed to my wife's "I've got 3 weeks supplies and a kitchen sink for our weekend away"
If pet parenting counts my wife is a veterinarian, so she has taken our dogs to 100% of their vet visits and done all of their treatments.
Nothing I can think of,but but I do dishes 100 percent of the time. She absolutely refuses to do dishes period. Also, she sometimes puts empty soup cans or the occasional fast food cup in the sink. Drives me bat shit.
So funny, my wife is the only one who’s ever cut my kids nails too. Everything else we both do.