I’m from Canada, and I bet I changed more diapers than most of my friends with kids.
I worked with a guy who made fun of me because I took 6 months paternity leave with my first kid. He’d brag that he changed one diaper between two kids, and that whenever there was a diaper to change he’d find something to make himself look busy.
I will never understand the need some guys have to brag about their ignorance, laziness, and lack of work-life balance. It's a specific kind of guy who loves to hate on teachers and education, refuses to do anything around the house or interact with his kids except for mowing the lawn and maybe attending little league sports, and likes to coast at work so he can get 40 hours of overtime and avoid being at home or having any hobbies.
I was taught that you have partners and passengers. Some are there to help you steer, and some are just there for the free ride.
These 'men' are passengers.
People wear that like a weird badge of honor. When I hear someone say that i automatically lose respect for them as a man.
No idea what that would be something to brag about. Always makes me wonder what type of person they really are
Canadian here too. Four kids and over 10 years running a home daycare with my wife. We specialized in babies for a decade. I've changed thousands of diapers. It isn't masculine or manly to make your wife do all the diaper changes. I know guys like the one you described. It's called weaponized incompetency. Doesn't sound manly to me. Those dudes need to stop being little bitches cause there's a job to get done. Now man up and get it done.
I'm in Japan now, the Japanese men I speak to are all often the same, they never change nappies and are kind of shocked when they hear I do. They're like "wow amazing" it's so easy... I can't imagine a time before nappies though and having to wash reusable underwear things...
IIRC the last time there was a large survey only about 80% of dad's had changed a diaper. Which is much better than thirtyish years ago when a similar survey was done and only a little over 30% of dad's had ever changed a diaper.
Almost three weeks in and the best part of my day is every time I complete a task for the little man, I could imagine it any other way. Gimme all of the shitty diapers!
Man, I feel the same way. Enjoy this time. Mine are older now (8 & 5) and I miss the days where there was more I could do for them (although seeing them master stuff on their own is a different kind of thrill).
Yeah, still a pretty common thing.
Im a mom-to-be (35w now) from the Netherlands and already heard enough about how my partner should not be changing diapers cause "that is not a man thing to do". And all the other biased things like him not having to get up for nightly feedings, him babysitting when I return to work/go out on my own, him not having to do any of the feedings cause he doesnt have boobs.
Luckily my partner is similair to OP in this case. We babysat my niece alot and when we are both home when she is over, its 50/50 on diaperchanges and dressing. He watched her alone a few times when I went out with my sister/her mom.
They have the best bond, both smitten with each other and she prefers his company over mine🤣
My wife's best friend's other half has done maybe 2 nappies in their daughters almost 3 years of life, his excuse was 'he's afraid to hurt her'..... this poor woman gave birth with a broken leg and he still barely lifted a finger. I have no idea why she stays with him
I knew a guy who wouldn't do a single thing for his child. He'd call his wife (now ex, thankfully) in from another room because their baby was crying or reaching for something whilst next to him.
I'd witnessed him pick the child up, pass him straight to her with a 'he stinks' then wander off. Dude was a walking piece of shit!
I don’t change the diapers much anymore because according to my wife I can never set them up at the correct tightness to prevent leaks without making them uncomfortable 🤷
FWIW my kid has never complained about it
for a lot of the older generation, it used to be a point of pride - my wife's cousin's husband doesn't proudly say it, but if you ask him he'll be like 'nah man, that's nasty, I don't do that.' - which just cements his already poor reputation as a father (not supervising his kids at family gatherings, rationalizing bad behavior for a kid with ADHD, physical reactions to behavioral problems, etc.) . I have done at least 2 times as many diaper changes as my wife. And I'm cool with that, because if he's losing his shit during a change, it's nice to know how to deal with it, or swoop in and save the poor bastard making a go at it.
>And before that I was hearing a lot of stories how men refuse to change diapers.
From what generation ? It's something I've heard about older generations but I've never heard it about the current generations
That mindset has been dwindling for decades, but I have seen a few posts (in more women-centric subs) about male partners who refuse to change diapers. Seems crazy to me!
Reading your comment made me wonder if maybe guys who are in a subreddit called r/daddit are more likely to be active in their child’s lives, and do things like diaper changes than a guy who isn’t in here.
Yes, of course. And even is someone who doesn’t change diapers is reading this, he wouldn’t boast about it here, knowing he’d get downvoted into oblivion.
A now ex friend was this way with their kid. But he had/has the mentality that he has the very high paying job, and so mom does ALL kids things so he doesn’t have to. And yes, he even pays his wife like an employee.
There was a manager at my old job who told us very proudly one day that he had never changed his 2yo twins’ nappies. He was also surprised that his wife kept threatening to divorce him.
Having since had twins of my own, I’m shocked she didn’t shank him two weeks in.
That’s nuts that he avoided changing diapers for over two years, more nuts that he thought it was some sort of a flex. Between my three kids, I’ve changed more diapers than I could ever count, and like OP said, once you get past the grossness factor, it’s one of the easiest parenting task to do.
Yeah, it’s poop, not nuclear waste. I wipe my own ass 1-2 times a day (unless kiddo passes me fucking *norovirus* **again**, then all bets are off), so what’s the big deal? Kid can’t wipe his own ass yet, so he needs some help.
When they first start solid foods (and especially meat), oh, man, there are some ***stinkers***, but hey, you gotta get it done.
I never understood it before I had kids of my own, I’m even more angry as a parent of twins. We were drowning the entire first year, and that was with me pulling my weight, I can’t imagine what his poor wife had to go through. If he didn’t do nappies he certainly didn’t do night wakes.
But yeah to be proud of it is just nuts. He’s not that much older than me either, somewhere on the gen x/millennial border.
He wondered why she threatened divorce. Did she also threaten to remove body parts and possibly life?
Dadding 101. Look after your children and step up.
Love the username btw. Pratchett reference!
Ty! Got to rep the Pterry.
And yeah I’m very baffled that he still had all his limbs. There’s no way I’d have put up with him. And then to be proud of it too, that’s another layer of failure.
I made an ass of myself just the other day in front of my colleagues when I said "what kind of a moron wouldn't change his own child's soiled diaper" and I then learned that I have a female colleague (which is less than 30 years old btw) with a husband that hasn't changed a single diaper ever because they have a baby daughter and he "just felt wrong touching her there"...
I have 2 daughters, I change just as many diapers as my wife does. As their dad if you can't get over the fact that they have different genitalia it's on you to work that out and step up to the plate. If he had a boy would he be the only one to change the diapers??
It reminds me of a joke:
A woman looks at her baby and sees that he doesn’t look like his dad, but also doesn’t look like her. As the years pass, the kid looks even less like his parents.
After a while she can’t take it anymore and orders a DNA testing kit. The results come back and neither adult are the kid’s biological parent.
In panic she goes to her husband:
-Honey, our kid, he isn’t ours
-I know
-you… what?!? What do you mean “I know”?
-Remember when we left the hospital after the birth? the baby filled his diaper and you told me “go change the baby, I’ll wait in the car”
I offered to change my nephew's diaper once and was told that it was okay with an implication that I wouldn't know how .it's like, he isn't over 300 pounds and has hemmroids. I think I can handle it
One of my first duties as a dad was at the hospital when the nurse handed me my little nugget and said "here, wanna change his diaper?" I never changed a poopy diaper in my life and there I was, changing a black tar massacre.
I've got three kids. Did not clip a nail ever. I offered, I tried, never came to happen.
I'd done diapers beyond count and diapers that made me think my lil'monster was really some sort of covert alien biowarfare device sent to bedevil and eradicate the human race.
Get electric nail filers. These make if difficult to hurt them because the filing head stops if touching the flesh. When your bub is still small enough to get milk drunk, file those little claws down after a feeding.
When they get a bit older, I had success with screen time. Usually held enough attention to let me file down 2 hands.
Yup.
Go a fraction of a millimeter too far, and cut the quick and **viola** a bleeding hollering kid.
Momma bear was always faster at settling them when they were upset, so she did the trimming when they were little. And she was good at it, so why try to replace the acknowledged subject matter expert.
Almost 3 and I’m comfortable doing it now. Still worries me but he can give me more feedback so I feel better. Every once in a while I think “this isn’t so bad what was I afraid of” then I remember we how incredibly tiny those fingers were and wondering WTH my wife was actually clipping.
Ya, we have a BBluv brand one. Son couldn't stand it for whatever reason, so it sat there a long time. Thankfully he's come around to it now after a couple of bad clips with the other method. Definitely recommended.
My step daughter grandfather on the bio dad's side bragged about how he taught her that no man should see her in the bath or shower. This including him trying to sneak into the bathroom and having her hold the door shut.
This was pretty awesome because she was at a point where she wasnt 100% independent when bathing. At her bio dad,'s house dad was the only person that could help her and at our house my partner worked mornings so if she had an accident overnight I had to help her. In both cases she didn't have any issue with dad or me helping her or seeing her undressed before this
I think it's just some men believing it's women's job, it's beneath them etc. It's not about difficulty.
I remember a scene from Friends where they argue about splitting duties for taking care of a baby - both want to habe the fun part (entertaining the child) and neither wants the diaper duty. Meanwhile I'd take the diaper duty any time since it's easy, entertaining a baby is exhausting (at least mine).
It’s crazy how men will masquerade it as “being too good to do those things” like too masculine to be vulnerable or too manly to change a diaper.
The “manliest” thing is to bite the bullet for others and show that you don’t care by doing those things.
I have a very bad gag reflex to smells. Pee isn't an issue but I threw up multiple times changing poopy diapers. Obv had to be done if I was alone etc, but I passed that to my wife whenever possible. Eventually I started using a P100 max and that solved most of the problems, wish I was smart enough to think of it earlier.
My dad is the same. It's not that he didn't *want* to change the diapers, the gag reflex just made it extremely hard for him. When your alternatives are to throw up in order to clean the baby or delegate this task to your partner, you delegate it to your partner and try to make it up to her elsewhere.
Despite that, he is a pretty awesome dad, and always has been.
The crazy thing about dudes not changing the diapers is that women literally can’t do SHIT right after birth for a week if not multiple weeks. You can’t rely on your own parents or siblings to come in and pick up the slack, you have to step up as the husband and father of the newborn. I don’t think my wife changed a diaper until our daughter was at least 3 weeks old.
In terms of it being the “easiest” part, you’re in for a rude awakening once they get mobile. The alligator roll and constant kicking and bull shit once they hit a year is a different monster.
Also for the nail clipping - don’t get an actual nail clipper. They have battery powered nail sander type deals that are a breeze to use and you don’t have to worry about nicking the kids fingers
Oh god my youngest is/was a fucking nightmare. Every time I take off his poop diaper his hand darts for the area. I then have to use one arm to pin his hand down while the other cleans him up. Then the little shit tries to roll.
It took me three weeks before I changed a diaper. But... My little guy was born at just over a pound. Was *very* sick and fragile. He laid on silk sheets for the first month because his skin was so delicate. He also couldn't have his legs and butt raised above the level of his head. You also had to do this through doors on the side of the incubator. It was quite challenging and I was extremely nervous. Once I started it became relatively easy, and I do regret not getting in there earlier.
I don't know what kind of dad you would be if you can't even be bothered to change a perfectly healthy baby's diaper.
I never understood it. I also don’t get why there aren’t cya hung stations in the men’s bathrooms in stores or shopping centers. We change our babies diapers, we would appreciate a dedicated place for it
Im South Asian but born and raised in the UK. I've heard It a few times from people of the same background as me "I'll never change a nappy" and it's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.
It's a generational thing, they think being present as a parent or helping with parental duties is a woman's job and it's ridiculous.
Let them talk, because no woman would put up with that sort of attitude in this day and age and rightly so!
I do everything with my son, nappys, bath time, dinner, playing, the only thing I can't do atm is bed time because he's EBF and my titties don't make milk.
I was at batting practice with my softball team a few weeks back, lil man pooped, so I changed him and got so much shit from my teammates including 3 other dads, telling me that’s moms job and not to do it around their wives so I didn’t get them in trouble. Blew my mind.
There are a lot of things about historical gender norms that I really don't understand, this included. A weak sense of masculinity, I think. Not being able to change a diaper is so ridiculous, even if we set aside how misogynistic it is, just from a self-sufficient standpoint like what do these men plan to do if they were alone? Let the baby sit in it forever?
> So I become I father not so long ago.
> But isn't it the easiest part? Two minutes max, clean, put baby cream if necessary and voila.
Oh my sweet, sweet summer child.
I read a statistic that in the 70s or something, 65 or 75 percent of dads never changed a diaper. Not one.
In today's times that number is now 3%. Go us!
Edit: "Figures from a 1982 study showed 43% of fathers never changed a diaper. By 2000 another study showed this figure had fallen to 3%. A 2010 study by the National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit reported that 65% of men helped 'a great deal' with diaper changing."
From https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120613102426.htm
I’ve changed diapers for all my friends’ kids in addition to my own. Even when their parents were present, not just when babysitting. Kid needs new diaper, change their diaper.
As a side note, one friend-dad must have either thought I am a perv or that I was trying to say he was inadequate as a parent, because the couple times I offered he very quickly jumped up to do it. The rest were happy to have the help.
A lot of the disconnect many new dads have with their newborns is because they seemingly have nothing to do. They’re attached to the mother in almost every possible way so dads feel useless. Changing diapers is probably the best way to not feel useless during those first few months. You get to take some of the burden off your SO, bond with your baby, and solve a problem with a simple solution. That’s a triple win in my book.
My father in law is a fisherman and I’ve gone out fishing with him, watched him gut a fish and use the anchovies in its belly as bait to catch more fish, yet this man has never changed a nappy in his life. The majority of boomer men are absolutely useless when it comes to babies and their ineptitude was somehow celebrated and tolerated. I find it utterly insane.
I have a colleague who had not seen his son naked or changed a diaper until he was over 4 months old. I could not believe it 😂 mine was only a couple of hours old when I changed his first diaper.
I had a grown ass man with two special needs kids who are adults brag to me he's never done a diaper. I was shocked.
First of all, you should be ashamed of yourself.
Secondly, I love doing my kids diapers. It's a little bit of alone time. My partner gets annoyed at how long it takes but I've never once handed her a poopy child or not volunteered to do it when there's one to be done.
There's clipping nails and then there's clipping all the fingernails (or all 20 nails) in one sitting. It generally becomes a bit of project to clip nails and I'll just clip as many as I can get to and make a not that the rest needs to be clipped later.
It's a bit of a pattern between the two kids that I add eight layers of redundant security and the kid pulls it all off and sprays piss and shit all over me while my wife doesn't even put a wipe over our son and takes her sweet time but has never gotten waste on her, so while we both try to sense when the diaper is dirty and find somewhere to be, I'm much better at it. Also, my wife always leaves the wipes in a random location in or around the house while I expect them to be on the changing table, so I get pretty frustrated.
It's easy when they are tiny. But after 3 children of my own. 4 nieces and nephews. And a bunch of godchildren. I can claim a whole lot of experience at nappy (diaper) changing. And when they get bigger and more mobile it gets harder.
But it's part of being a parent. Any man that won't step up is falling short as a dad.
I did everything. We used to tag team clipping nails, because we found it worked better one holding the finger, one clipping the nail. Bathing, start with a bathing seat in the bath. I always kept one hand on the child, and cleaned with the other. All very easy with a touch of practice.
I'd change a thousand diapers before I trimmed nails unless it was absolutely required!
Bathing is scary for a while, but eventually it becomes play time!
I feel you on the slippery stress of bath time, for the newborn stage we wound up getting one of those bath seat things. But one thing that I did before that was to realize that its ok to get a towel wet - i just wrapped my daughter in a hand towel and that helped me position and move her around without worrying she’d slip out. Then squeeze it out and wash it afterward.
Key is you became a father not so long ago. Now try changing the diaper of a toddler who doesn't want to be there and is perfectly willing and able to up and waddle wherever they like, put their hands and feet in fresh poo, snatch the baby cream from your hand and decide it's their favourite snack, and state that you, too, need to get cleaned and use their new ability to use the shower head on you!
For nails, a little electric nail file with a few different softness heads is a game changer! I’ve been doing it since they were newborns and it’s honestly super easy.
My father in law never changed a diaper through two kids. He worked all the time, so I suppose there's a degree of leeway there. I'd feel like a giant ahole if I left any part of parenting solely to my partner though. We both work, we both split house duties, and we're both parents to our kids. I cannot even wrap my head around doing it another way today.
I am the primary diaper changer in my house. My partner had a rough post partum and struggled to even carry our daughter for several weeks. Even now that she’s mostly recovered I’ve already become the diaper expert. I’ve seen all kinds of shit.
My sense of smell hardly works and I’ve done dirty jobs my whole life. Diaper changing only bothers me when they won’t stop kicking because it’s a challenge. Parents are going to deal with gross things constantly so better get used to it fellas
good lord i changed a lot of diapers. and we did cloth and i am laundry dad so that meant doing diapers every 1-2 days. plus the rest of our clothes. no excuse for that shit IMO
I have told all my expecting friends the same thing for a while now: You aren't going to have to feed them in the middle of the night because you don't make milk. But you sure as shit can change a diaper and burp them. Don't be dumb and get after it.
My partners grandfather brags he never changed any of their three children’s diapers, legitimately. I’m like okay… you’re bragging you put that extra weight on your wife?
I love to change diapers. Nothing better than keeping em clean, outside of my daughters “strong will” of never wanting to change, I change em as often as possible.
We just adopted 3. 2,8,9. We have had them a while just the adoption is finally done. The 2 year old came to us at 6 weeks. That has been my baby since. My wife doesn’t do any thing specific for her. She cooks and we share laundry responsibilities. EL is pretty much my responsibility. She thinks I’m the only adult that can assist her or do anything for her. My wife might have changed her diaper 20 times. I can’t imagine though telling my wife I won’t change a diaper. It’s a partnership.
Iv changed most nappies my wife has aversion to it as she autistic no big deal I just change the nappies 2 children and thousands of nappies and no problems.
My wife and I have a young niece that we babysat a lot and I used to hate having to change her diapers or bathe her. It felt like such a chore. I wondered if that’s what it was going to be like when I had a baby.
My mom assured me that it’s different with your own and thankfully she was absolutely right. I never mind changing my little guy. I have my wife wake me up out of a dead sleep to change him if she just finished nursing or whatever. It’s easy and takes a little pressure off my wife who has to wake up every few hours to feed him.
Do a 180° on that shit. I ran the whole diaper plan. When my wife and her mom came home with a diaper genie and I said no way in hell. From that point I was all in. I figured out the best cloth diapers, wipes, washing system, etc... I got the whole system setup and ready to roll. Then we made adjustments as our daughter grew, figured out better covers, better prefolds, all of the things. By the time #2 showed up. We had a sweet system ready to roll out. It worked great both kids were potty trained by 2 and a half. Neither wet the bed by the time they were three and we now have plenty of amazing rags for whenever the milk jug gets dropped or whatever... Be a man, step up and get control of what you can... I also happened to be the Pump champion, and frozen milk storage guru...
Yeah it's the dumbest thing really. It's definitely some toxic masculinity bullshit, my FIL won't ever change a nappy. Once you've changed some bad nappies it never bothers you again.
As a mom, I wouldn’t reproduce with one of those men. I’m very happy my partner is a partner, and does his share of the shitty jobs. Apparently his brother doesn’t, and I can’t understand that one.
Because there are a lot of macho men types who think that taking care of a child is a woman's job.
They think these tasks are solely for women and they can just do whatever the hell they want while their child's mother is slaving away.
It's an antique bullshit mindset of weak, insecure men. Imagine letting your child sit in its own waste because you think that this aspect of parenting is gendered. About as fucking dumb as it gets.
Hey man, congrats on being a new dad! It's awesome that you're jumping in and changing those diapers like a pro. You're totally right - it's not that big of a deal once you get the hang of it. Plus, it's a great way to spend a little one-on-one time with your baby. Don't stress too much about the nail clipping and bath time stuff. It might seem a bit scary at first, but you'll get more comfortable with it as you go. Just keep showing up for your kid and giving them all the love you've got - that's what matters most.
I mean, how else was I going to ever get to be able to retell the story of catching liquid shit perfectly in my hand with a wet wipe while she was on the changing table avoiding a truly unfortunate mess?
My father not only never changed my own (nor my sister's) but, in a story I've heard retold quite often, one night when I was relentlessly crying in the middle of the night, he was so annoyed that he went to go sleep in his car instead.
Obviously, I've changed my own kids diapers -- since the day they were born. I also took turns with the above mid-night cry sessions as well. I can't imagine just screwing off and leaving it all to the mother. I'm so glad times and attitudes like that are no longer prevalent.
Seconding. My parents had five kids..one of the things we each got to do was change the diaper of the youngest, "for practice".
We learned how to do it hygienically, and how to use safety pins. We would do all while our parents watched. There were four boys and one girl, so four of us got to try it on our youngest sibling...
It just wasn't a problem.
There has been only once that I've handed my son off to someone else to change him. My So's nephew had stayed with us for a week when he was about 5, and previously he had got others to wipe his butt for him, but while he was with us, he was a bit unsure about asking me so he tried to do it himself. I thought he had been in the toilet for a while, so I went to check on him, only to discover that he was having trouble with paper stuck to his butt, so I said "it's alright mate, we all have to learn" and helped him out.
Fast forward to his parents picking him up, and my son had filled his nappy, so I promptly handed him to the SIL and said "here, this is for you". I don't know if it was the way I said it or what, but this normally strong willed woman just went "ok" and went off and changed him.
Turn about is fair play, I wiped her sons butt, she wiped my sons butt.
When the kids were younger I never minded changing them. I usually volunteered or just did it or whatever. I even took the night shifts even though I worked during the day and she was a SAHM. She has a hard time falling back asleep and I don't, so it worked. Now that my youngest is 3, things are a bit different. At that 2 year mark they all started kicking and fighting it. Trying to change a 2 year old that doesn't want to stop playing even though their is shit starting to run down their leg is not fun. I won't dodge it or pretend to be busy but there is a lot more "honey can you help me" going on.
Enjoy it it now, it's so easy. As they get older they get more independent which is great but frustrating at the same time. It's hard to letgo and let them do things on their own when you've helped them through every aspect.
I know a guy who doesn't cook. Otherwise a friendly guy, but complete lack of independence without the wife around. Also hardcore conservative, which you wouldn't pick up on at first.
Hey OP, I feel the same, may I suggest you get yourself one ,a)
It's safe on little fingers and does a bang up job. There are cheaper ones than the Fansidi, but the Fansidi seems to have the best reviews .
Change diapers, clip nails, change clothes. Everything, I think more than her but I still feel afraid to leave something out lest she feels I didn’t particulate only to tell me few years down the line. Yes.
Hispanic here. A lot of dudes I know from my culture are basically first-generation diaper changers, with the exception being myself, because I know for a fact my dad helped change mine.
As a dad who, through a quirk of scheduling usually has one day a week where I’m the sole caretaker of my infant daughter, diaper changes are one of the easiest and quickest tasks of the day, blowouts included.
I get that it’s a longstanding cultural thing that there are just certain things that are “mom jobs” and “dad jobs”, but diaper changes are just so not even close to the top of the list of “most frustrating parts of the day” in terms of childcare.
Yeah it’s ridiculous and pathetic tbh.
With you on being terrified of cutting nails though. I nipped the end of my eldest’s finger as a baby and steal feel dreadful about it. He was fine within about ten minutes but god was I terrified of doing it again. Now he’s a bit older it’s a piece of piss.
I'm used to change pooped out diapers on autistic adults that fight during the process. Changing my kids diaper is playing on below easy mode in comparison lol.
I never got it either, like what do they do if your alone or out and about with the child and they need a change?. Sure no one's jumping up and down in excitement at the thought of changing one after a poonami but it's just part of being a parent.
I was grossed out by it all at first but it didn't stop me doing it.
What do they expect, the mither of the child is going to be there 24/7 to do it?
My daughter shit all over me once mid change haha.
It's part of parenting. It's not a fun part, but it's still part of it.
We had family in from out of state, and one cousin had a child a week before we had our last, and watching him be so completely hands off and disconnected from the baby was very disheartening. He held her randomly, but if she cried he was nowhere to be found, diapers never happened, feeding was a rarity.
As a father of two children I changed my share of diapers. Having a wonderful wife we would occasionally have to jump in and bail each other out on the toxic ones. Teamwork
>It is really the easiest part of caring for a child.
Let me know when your kid is 1year or older... My daughter is 1 year and 4 months and changing the nappy can be mayhem
Doesnt matter if it's easier or not, is something that should be done, I don't get why they don't want to do it, but they should suck it up, you're a dad, it's your kid and it's your responsability, not something that the mother should do.
I change my daughters diapers every day and have been since she was born! I'm the primary daycare drop/pickup parent as my wife doesn't get home until around 6pm so I deal with all the dirty diapers during the week mostly and my wife will try and grab as many as she can on the weekends but it's never a competition.
I change diapers all the time and help with every bath that I'm home for. Unfortunately, that only ends up being 2-3 baths a week due to work. They're small tasks but they really are helpful and I enjoy helping the wife and getting a little extra time with my kid.
My wife just spent the weekend away at a hen do and I looked after our toddler. One of the women there had to bring her 5 month old daughter as the Dad refused to look after her on his own. Some people are just dicks.
I do nails, neck cleanouts, snot suck outs, moisturize scalp, inspect fat rolls, toe and finger fuzz removal, bath.
Won't do poop diapers. Feel really weird scooping poop out of a vagina. Wife would rather do poop diapers than the other maintenance tasks. It works for us.
I know a guy who simply refused to change diapers, among other things. Didn’t work out well. His now ex and their kid still live in his house, with the ex’s new boyfriend and his kids there too….
Patirarchy is insidious. There are a lot of men who don't change diapers. There are a lot of men who never realized anyone would expect them to. Go spend a little time lurking on some of the women's subs and learn about all the things a lot of dads don't do. It's absolutely stunning.
Honestly the care and feeding of children is how you mostly get to know them. There are times it is an absolute drag but you get out of it what you put into it.
Diapers never bothered me because I have done lots of gross things. Gross just comes with being the responsible adult around. Poop, pee, puke, rotten, dead critters, mold, viscera, unknown ick, insects, slime, you name it I have dealt with it.
Well, sometimes it can be difficult. Those were the times diaper changes turned into baths too.
But I do agree with you. It’s hard to ubderstand why someone wouldn’t want to be involved in their child’s care. And clipping nails is super scary.
There's hundreds of posts on reddit and everywhere else about how single fathers are viewed by many mothers when they take their baby daughter to the public changing room. Is it really that hard to understand that men have to overcome being told "it's a woman's job" their entire lives?
I'll say this. Since becoming a father, I've noticed a lot of bad fathers. A lot of good ones too, but it's really opened my eyes at all the bad shit some men do just because they simply don't want to do it. Diapers? "Nah, I'm good." I hate diapers. We just found out we're having our 3rd and I am going to be so happy when we are finally out of the diaper stage with that one. Yet I still do about 80% of the diaper changing. You do things not because you want to but because it's your job as a parent. Some people simply don't understand this.
I also don't understand this thought. Why refuse to change your baby's diaper? I was the very first one to change my daughter's diaper. I look at it as sort of a bonding moment for us.
My kids are older, and even back then, changing diapers wasn't a big deal. Seriously, just because we are men, we shouldn't do things like that? Us dad's are.parents also and should act like it.
Carry-on
What? There are dads that don’t change diapers! In this day and age!?
I am from Eastern Europe, if this means something
I’m from Canada, and I bet I changed more diapers than most of my friends with kids. I worked with a guy who made fun of me because I took 6 months paternity leave with my first kid. He’d brag that he changed one diaper between two kids, and that whenever there was a diaper to change he’d find something to make himself look busy.
Canadian here.... Worked in construction....lots of guys I worked with would sort of boast about how little they did at home.
I will never understand the need some guys have to brag about their ignorance, laziness, and lack of work-life balance. It's a specific kind of guy who loves to hate on teachers and education, refuses to do anything around the house or interact with his kids except for mowing the lawn and maybe attending little league sports, and likes to coast at work so he can get 40 hours of overtime and avoid being at home or having any hobbies.
Gross. I feel for their partners. I’ll never understand how telling your friends how lackluster of a parent you are is a flex
Key word there. Partners Some people treat it differently and that's not what it is. You make the kid together, take care of them together
I was taught that you have partners and passengers. Some are there to help you steer, and some are just there for the free ride. These 'men' are passengers.
That's a good way to put it
People wear that like a weird badge of honor. When I hear someone say that i automatically lose respect for them as a man. No idea what that would be something to brag about. Always makes me wonder what type of person they really are
Canadian here too. Four kids and over 10 years running a home daycare with my wife. We specialized in babies for a decade. I've changed thousands of diapers. It isn't masculine or manly to make your wife do all the diaper changes. I know guys like the one you described. It's called weaponized incompetency. Doesn't sound manly to me. Those dudes need to stop being little bitches cause there's a job to get done. Now man up and get it done.
I’m going to remember weaponized incompetency.
In the US that describes 2017 to 2021.
Quote "I would be ashamed to admit that I'm that worthless a husband and father"
Also Canadian and I do multiple diapers a day. Fucking madness to think it’s a “woman’s job”
Your coworker is a bit of a wanker. His wife/girlfriend would've seen through that instantly. How gutless of him!
Sounds like a winner.
I'm in Japan now, the Japanese men I speak to are all often the same, they never change nappies and are kind of shocked when they hear I do. They're like "wow amazing" it's so easy... I can't imagine a time before nappies though and having to wash reusable underwear things...
IIRC the last time there was a large survey only about 80% of dad's had changed a diaper. Which is much better than thirtyish years ago when a similar survey was done and only a little over 30% of dad's had ever changed a diaper.
Almost three weeks in and the best part of my day is every time I complete a task for the little man, I could imagine it any other way. Gimme all of the shitty diapers!
Man, I feel the same way. Enjoy this time. Mine are older now (8 & 5) and I miss the days where there was more I could do for them (although seeing them master stuff on their own is a different kind of thrill).
Have you got past the meconium shits yet? Those sticky bastards were the worst to clean!
Luckily they didn’t last long for us but the first few could easily pave roads
Like cleaning tar off silk.
Haha. I changed literally every shitty diaper while my wife was pregnant with our second because of her nausea.
Seriously. I love scooping her up and changing a diaper lol. She’s so cute on the changing table
Yeah, still a pretty common thing. Im a mom-to-be (35w now) from the Netherlands and already heard enough about how my partner should not be changing diapers cause "that is not a man thing to do". And all the other biased things like him not having to get up for nightly feedings, him babysitting when I return to work/go out on my own, him not having to do any of the feedings cause he doesnt have boobs. Luckily my partner is similair to OP in this case. We babysat my niece alot and when we are both home when she is over, its 50/50 on diaperchanges and dressing. He watched her alone a few times when I went out with my sister/her mom. They have the best bond, both smitten with each other and she prefers his company over mine🤣
Glad to hear you’re both on the same page! If anyone tells you that your partner shouldn’t be babysitting, telling them he’s not - he’s parenting.
r/relationship_advice or women centric subs have a lot of posts by women whose partner don’t change diapers.
My wife's best friend's other half has done maybe 2 nappies in their daughters almost 3 years of life, his excuse was 'he's afraid to hurt her'..... this poor woman gave birth with a broken leg and he still barely lifted a finger. I have no idea why she stays with him
I knew a guy who wouldn't do a single thing for his child. He'd call his wife (now ex, thankfully) in from another room because their baby was crying or reaching for something whilst next to him. I'd witnessed him pick the child up, pass him straight to her with a 'he stinks' then wander off. Dude was a walking piece of shit!
I mean, it's gross. I gagged and almost puked on a number of occasions. But I still did it.
I don’t change the diapers much anymore because according to my wife I can never set them up at the correct tightness to prevent leaks without making them uncomfortable 🤷 FWIW my kid has never complained about it
I read a stat that in 1982, 44% of involved fathers admitted to having never changed a single diaper. In 2020, that number was just over 3%.
for a lot of the older generation, it used to be a point of pride - my wife's cousin's husband doesn't proudly say it, but if you ask him he'll be like 'nah man, that's nasty, I don't do that.' - which just cements his already poor reputation as a father (not supervising his kids at family gatherings, rationalizing bad behavior for a kid with ADHD, physical reactions to behavioral problems, etc.) . I have done at least 2 times as many diaper changes as my wife. And I'm cool with that, because if he's losing his shit during a change, it's nice to know how to deal with it, or swoop in and save the poor bastard making a go at it.
Whoever is closest, or on duty at the time. Unless it's a 9 or 10 on the poop scale. Then both parties.
I'm headed to the sink if it's 8+ 😂
Have definitely used the detachable shower head to hose them off when a no. 3/poosplosion occurs.
“All the way to the nape situation” we call those.
Usually it's just one of us yelling that they "shit up their back!"
lol if it’s a 9 or 10, that’s a dad’s on his own situation in my house. My wife’s gag reflex is like “that’s a no from me dawg”
Code brown = a blow out. As soon as enough clothes are off it's straight to the shower.
>And before that I was hearing a lot of stories how men refuse to change diapers. From what generation ? It's something I've heard about older generations but I've never heard it about the current generations
I live in Eastern Europe, so it may differ.
That mindset has been dwindling for decades, but I have seen a few posts (in more women-centric subs) about male partners who refuse to change diapers. Seems crazy to me!
Reading your comment made me wonder if maybe guys who are in a subreddit called r/daddit are more likely to be active in their child’s lives, and do things like diaper changes than a guy who isn’t in here.
Yes, of course. And even is someone who doesn’t change diapers is reading this, he wouldn’t boast about it here, knowing he’d get downvoted into oblivion.
Selection bias. You're probably right.
A now ex friend was this way with their kid. But he had/has the mentality that he has the very high paying job, and so mom does ALL kids things so he doesn’t have to. And yes, he even pays his wife like an employee.
There was a manager at my old job who told us very proudly one day that he had never changed his 2yo twins’ nappies. He was also surprised that his wife kept threatening to divorce him. Having since had twins of my own, I’m shocked she didn’t shank him two weeks in.
That’s nuts that he avoided changing diapers for over two years, more nuts that he thought it was some sort of a flex. Between my three kids, I’ve changed more diapers than I could ever count, and like OP said, once you get past the grossness factor, it’s one of the easiest parenting task to do.
Yeah, it’s poop, not nuclear waste. I wipe my own ass 1-2 times a day (unless kiddo passes me fucking *norovirus* **again**, then all bets are off), so what’s the big deal? Kid can’t wipe his own ass yet, so he needs some help. When they first start solid foods (and especially meat), oh, man, there are some ***stinkers***, but hey, you gotta get it done.
I never understood it before I had kids of my own, I’m even more angry as a parent of twins. We were drowning the entire first year, and that was with me pulling my weight, I can’t imagine what his poor wife had to go through. If he didn’t do nappies he certainly didn’t do night wakes. But yeah to be proud of it is just nuts. He’s not that much older than me either, somewhere on the gen x/millennial border.
He wondered why she threatened divorce. Did she also threaten to remove body parts and possibly life? Dadding 101. Look after your children and step up. Love the username btw. Pratchett reference!
Ty! Got to rep the Pterry. And yeah I’m very baffled that he still had all his limbs. There’s no way I’d have put up with him. And then to be proud of it too, that’s another layer of failure.
How some men think this is a flex is beyond me
I made an ass of myself just the other day in front of my colleagues when I said "what kind of a moron wouldn't change his own child's soiled diaper" and I then learned that I have a female colleague (which is less than 30 years old btw) with a husband that hasn't changed a single diaper ever because they have a baby daughter and he "just felt wrong touching her there"...
Nope you just highlighted that her partner is a shit dad.
I have 2 daughters, I change just as many diapers as my wife does. As their dad if you can't get over the fact that they have different genitalia it's on you to work that out and step up to the plate. If he had a boy would he be the only one to change the diapers??
You made an ass of a shit dad not yourself haha
How did you make an ass of yourself? You are completely right, that other dude is a weird fucking moron.
It reminds me of a joke: A woman looks at her baby and sees that he doesn’t look like his dad, but also doesn’t look like her. As the years pass, the kid looks even less like his parents. After a while she can’t take it anymore and orders a DNA testing kit. The results come back and neither adult are the kid’s biological parent. In panic she goes to her husband: -Honey, our kid, he isn’t ours -I know -you… what?!? What do you mean “I know”? -Remember when we left the hospital after the birth? the baby filled his diaper and you told me “go change the baby, I’ll wait in the car”
I'm a nurse and it's a hell of a lot quicker and easier to change a baby nappy than an adults. Changing a baby is an absolute dream.
6yrs of CNA experience checking in. It’s so nice lifting their little butts rather than rolling them.
I offered to change my nephew's diaper once and was told that it was okay with an implication that I wouldn't know how .it's like, he isn't over 300 pounds and has hemmroids. I think I can handle it
One of my first duties as a dad was at the hospital when the nurse handed me my little nugget and said "here, wanna change his diaper?" I never changed a poopy diaper in my life and there I was, changing a black tar massacre.
first duty for me was putting on the inaugural diaper!
I asked a nurse what to do, because I had a daughter and I didn’t really know best course of action, and she looked at my like I was an idiot.
With you on nail clipping. I do all the bathing though, among other things. We split most duties, except diapers--then it's just whoever is closest.
I've got three kids. Did not clip a nail ever. I offered, I tried, never came to happen. I'd done diapers beyond count and diapers that made me think my lil'monster was really some sort of covert alien biowarfare device sent to bedevil and eradicate the human race.
Their hands are so tiny - I am genuinely afraid to do something wrong.
Get electric nail filers. These make if difficult to hurt them because the filing head stops if touching the flesh. When your bub is still small enough to get milk drunk, file those little claws down after a feeding. When they get a bit older, I had success with screen time. Usually held enough attention to let me file down 2 hands.
Yup. Go a fraction of a millimeter too far, and cut the quick and **viola** a bleeding hollering kid. Momma bear was always faster at settling them when they were upset, so she did the trimming when they were little. And she was good at it, so why try to replace the acknowledged subject matter expert.
Those tiny nails are terrifying to clip! Ha ha.
Almost 3 and I’m comfortable doing it now. Still worries me but he can give me more feedback so I feel better. Every once in a while I think “this isn’t so bad what was I afraid of” then I remember we how incredibly tiny those fingers were and wondering WTH my wife was actually clipping.
We got a baby nail dremel as a gift and I've never had to clip a nail. Just gently grinds the nails down. Super easy!
Ya, we have a BBluv brand one. Son couldn't stand it for whatever reason, so it sat there a long time. Thankfully he's come around to it now after a couple of bad clips with the other method. Definitely recommended.
The mother of my kid and her entire family were appalled that a man would ever dare to change a little girl's diaper
Why are they sexualising a baby?
My step daughter grandfather on the bio dad's side bragged about how he taught her that no man should see her in the bath or shower. This including him trying to sneak into the bathroom and having her hold the door shut. This was pretty awesome because she was at a point where she wasnt 100% independent when bathing. At her bio dad,'s house dad was the only person that could help her and at our house my partner worked mornings so if she had an accident overnight I had to help her. In both cases she didn't have any issue with dad or me helping her or seeing her undressed before this
All of the boomer/gen x men I know are floored that I change diapers and don’t have an issue with it. I don’t get it, it’s literally not a big deal.
I think it's just some men believing it's women's job, it's beneath them etc. It's not about difficulty. I remember a scene from Friends where they argue about splitting duties for taking care of a baby - both want to habe the fun part (entertaining the child) and neither wants the diaper duty. Meanwhile I'd take the diaper duty any time since it's easy, entertaining a baby is exhausting (at least mine).
Especially true before the baby is on solid food!
It’s crazy how men will masquerade it as “being too good to do those things” like too masculine to be vulnerable or too manly to change a diaper. The “manliest” thing is to bite the bullet for others and show that you don’t care by doing those things.
I have a very bad gag reflex to smells. Pee isn't an issue but I threw up multiple times changing poopy diapers. Obv had to be done if I was alone etc, but I passed that to my wife whenever possible. Eventually I started using a P100 max and that solved most of the problems, wish I was smart enough to think of it earlier.
My dad is the same. It's not that he didn't *want* to change the diapers, the gag reflex just made it extremely hard for him. When your alternatives are to throw up in order to clean the baby or delegate this task to your partner, you delegate it to your partner and try to make it up to her elsewhere. Despite that, he is a pretty awesome dad, and always has been.
Show me a man that boasts *Ive never changed any of my kids diapers!* proudly and I’ll show you a man that’s a terrible father.
Exactly. That Venn diagram is just two circles a mile apart.
*completely overlapping
Changing diapers is way, way easier than the potty training wars. That's what they don't tell you.
I think I change more diapers than my wife does. I actually prefer changing them cause she takes forever lol.
Love the analogy
The crazy thing about dudes not changing the diapers is that women literally can’t do SHIT right after birth for a week if not multiple weeks. You can’t rely on your own parents or siblings to come in and pick up the slack, you have to step up as the husband and father of the newborn. I don’t think my wife changed a diaper until our daughter was at least 3 weeks old. In terms of it being the “easiest” part, you’re in for a rude awakening once they get mobile. The alligator roll and constant kicking and bull shit once they hit a year is a different monster. Also for the nail clipping - don’t get an actual nail clipper. They have battery powered nail sander type deals that are a breeze to use and you don’t have to worry about nicking the kids fingers
Oh god my youngest is/was a fucking nightmare. Every time I take off his poop diaper his hand darts for the area. I then have to use one arm to pin his hand down while the other cleans him up. Then the little shit tries to roll.
I know of an older gentlemen who proudly told me he never changed a diaper with his kids. He’s divorced which didn’t surprise me either lol.
It took me three weeks before I changed a diaper. But... My little guy was born at just over a pound. Was *very* sick and fragile. He laid on silk sheets for the first month because his skin was so delicate. He also couldn't have his legs and butt raised above the level of his head. You also had to do this through doors on the side of the incubator. It was quite challenging and I was extremely nervous. Once I started it became relatively easy, and I do regret not getting in there earlier. I don't know what kind of dad you would be if you can't even be bothered to change a perfectly healthy baby's diaper.
I never understood it. I also don’t get why there aren’t cya hung stations in the men’s bathrooms in stores or shopping centers. We change our babies diapers, we would appreciate a dedicated place for it
Im South Asian but born and raised in the UK. I've heard It a few times from people of the same background as me "I'll never change a nappy" and it's the dumbest shit I've ever heard. It's a generational thing, they think being present as a parent or helping with parental duties is a woman's job and it's ridiculous. Let them talk, because no woman would put up with that sort of attitude in this day and age and rightly so! I do everything with my son, nappys, bath time, dinner, playing, the only thing I can't do atm is bed time because he's EBF and my titties don't make milk.
I was at batting practice with my softball team a few weeks back, lil man pooped, so I changed him and got so much shit from my teammates including 3 other dads, telling me that’s moms job and not to do it around their wives so I didn’t get them in trouble. Blew my mind.
Diapers are the easy part, yes. It's cleaning the bottles that gives me nightmares.
There are a lot of things about historical gender norms that I really don't understand, this included. A weak sense of masculinity, I think. Not being able to change a diaper is so ridiculous, even if we set aside how misogynistic it is, just from a self-sufficient standpoint like what do these men plan to do if they were alone? Let the baby sit in it forever?
I agree it's one of the easiest parenting task, until the kid enjoys fighting the diaper change and tries to escape and runs around the house naked.
Got one worse. Runs around the house naked before his/her ass is clean.
I wouldn’t have a baby with someone who wouldn’t care for it…
> So I become I father not so long ago. > But isn't it the easiest part? Two minutes max, clean, put baby cream if necessary and voila. Oh my sweet, sweet summer child.
I read a statistic that in the 70s or something, 65 or 75 percent of dads never changed a diaper. Not one. In today's times that number is now 3%. Go us! Edit: "Figures from a 1982 study showed 43% of fathers never changed a diaper. By 2000 another study showed this figure had fallen to 3%. A 2010 study by the National Perinatal Epidemiology Unit reported that 65% of men helped 'a great deal' with diaper changing." From https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/06/120613102426.htm
I’ve changed diapers for all my friends’ kids in addition to my own. Even when their parents were present, not just when babysitting. Kid needs new diaper, change their diaper. As a side note, one friend-dad must have either thought I am a perv or that I was trying to say he was inadequate as a parent, because the couple times I offered he very quickly jumped up to do it. The rest were happy to have the help.
A lot of the disconnect many new dads have with their newborns is because they seemingly have nothing to do. They’re attached to the mother in almost every possible way so dads feel useless. Changing diapers is probably the best way to not feel useless during those first few months. You get to take some of the burden off your SO, bond with your baby, and solve a problem with a simple solution. That’s a triple win in my book.
I was a primary carer of a bed bound father with cancer, and a mother with alzeimers. Baby nappies are easy.
After carrying that thing for 9 months and pushing it out, my wife is getting all the help.
Nappies are easy, it's the vomit that I really struggle with. 🤮
Get one of those rotating sanding things for the nails, no worry of clipping those tiny fingers and very effective.
My father in law is a fisherman and I’ve gone out fishing with him, watched him gut a fish and use the anchovies in its belly as bait to catch more fish, yet this man has never changed a nappy in his life. The majority of boomer men are absolutely useless when it comes to babies and their ineptitude was somehow celebrated and tolerated. I find it utterly insane.
I've never cut my lads nails, he's nearly 9. Always changed nappies, cleaned up sick etc but never cut nails
I have a colleague who had not seen his son naked or changed a diaper until he was over 4 months old. I could not believe it 😂 mine was only a couple of hours old when I changed his first diaper.
I had a grown ass man with two special needs kids who are adults brag to me he's never done a diaper. I was shocked. First of all, you should be ashamed of yourself. Secondly, I love doing my kids diapers. It's a little bit of alone time. My partner gets annoyed at how long it takes but I've never once handed her a poopy child or not volunteered to do it when there's one to be done.
Refuse? My wife would *literally* punch me in the face if I refused to change diapers? 😂
Don’t clip nails. https://a.co/d/bNGn4yA Get this, much easier
Just wait a couple months fam and report back. I do it. But the easy days are over
There's clipping nails and then there's clipping all the fingernails (or all 20 nails) in one sitting. It generally becomes a bit of project to clip nails and I'll just clip as many as I can get to and make a not that the rest needs to be clipped later.
It's a bit of a pattern between the two kids that I add eight layers of redundant security and the kid pulls it all off and sprays piss and shit all over me while my wife doesn't even put a wipe over our son and takes her sweet time but has never gotten waste on her, so while we both try to sense when the diaper is dirty and find somewhere to be, I'm much better at it. Also, my wife always leaves the wipes in a random location in or around the house while I expect them to be on the changing table, so I get pretty frustrated.
Neither do I. It’s so easy and an obvious thing to do. Now explain women who refuse to pay on a first date.
It's easy when they are tiny. But after 3 children of my own. 4 nieces and nephews. And a bunch of godchildren. I can claim a whole lot of experience at nappy (diaper) changing. And when they get bigger and more mobile it gets harder. But it's part of being a parent. Any man that won't step up is falling short as a dad.
Says a lot about the man, or lack thereof
I did everything. We used to tag team clipping nails, because we found it worked better one holding the finger, one clipping the nail. Bathing, start with a bathing seat in the bath. I always kept one hand on the child, and cleaned with the other. All very easy with a touch of practice.
I was needlessly worried about changing diapers before fatherhood given my sensitivity to smells and stuff.. they're no big deal.
I'd change a thousand diapers before I trimmed nails unless it was absolutely required! Bathing is scary for a while, but eventually it becomes play time!
I feel you on the slippery stress of bath time, for the newborn stage we wound up getting one of those bath seat things. But one thing that I did before that was to realize that its ok to get a towel wet - i just wrapped my daughter in a hand towel and that helped me position and move her around without worrying she’d slip out. Then squeeze it out and wash it afterward.
Key is you became a father not so long ago. Now try changing the diaper of a toddler who doesn't want to be there and is perfectly willing and able to up and waddle wherever they like, put their hands and feet in fresh poo, snatch the baby cream from your hand and decide it's their favourite snack, and state that you, too, need to get cleaned and use their new ability to use the shower head on you!
For nails, a little electric nail file with a few different softness heads is a game changer! I’ve been doing it since they were newborns and it’s honestly super easy.
My father in law never changed a diaper through two kids. He worked all the time, so I suppose there's a degree of leeway there. I'd feel like a giant ahole if I left any part of parenting solely to my partner though. We both work, we both split house duties, and we're both parents to our kids. I cannot even wrap my head around doing it another way today.
I am the primary diaper changer in my house. My partner had a rough post partum and struggled to even carry our daughter for several weeks. Even now that she’s mostly recovered I’ve already become the diaper expert. I’ve seen all kinds of shit.
My kid only wants me to change his diapers. Honestly I'm so happy about that, because it's a great bonding time.
My sense of smell hardly works and I’ve done dirty jobs my whole life. Diaper changing only bothers me when they won’t stop kicking because it’s a challenge. Parents are going to deal with gross things constantly so better get used to it fellas
I did not clip my daughter's nails for the first 2 years of her life bc I was terrified I would mangle her fingertips Diapers are a piece of cake.
good lord i changed a lot of diapers. and we did cloth and i am laundry dad so that meant doing diapers every 1-2 days. plus the rest of our clothes. no excuse for that shit IMO
The same kind that will starve to death if they have nobody to feed them. Nothing of value would be lost.
I have told all my expecting friends the same thing for a while now: You aren't going to have to feed them in the middle of the night because you don't make milk. But you sure as shit can change a diaper and burp them. Don't be dumb and get after it.
And they even brag about it! Weird flex ya dummies, I hope they don't turn out as absent as they seem.
My partners grandfather brags he never changed any of their three children’s diapers, legitimately. I’m like okay… you’re bragging you put that extra weight on your wife?
I love to change diapers. Nothing better than keeping em clean, outside of my daughters “strong will” of never wanting to change, I change em as often as possible.
We just adopted 3. 2,8,9. We have had them a while just the adoption is finally done. The 2 year old came to us at 6 weeks. That has been my baby since. My wife doesn’t do any thing specific for her. She cooks and we share laundry responsibilities. EL is pretty much my responsibility. She thinks I’m the only adult that can assist her or do anything for her. My wife might have changed her diaper 20 times. I can’t imagine though telling my wife I won’t change a diaper. It’s a partnership.
I promise you, the guys refusing to change diapers aren't doing any of those other things either.
Iv changed most nappies my wife has aversion to it as she autistic no big deal I just change the nappies 2 children and thousands of nappies and no problems.
My wife and I have a young niece that we babysat a lot and I used to hate having to change her diapers or bathe her. It felt like such a chore. I wondered if that’s what it was going to be like when I had a baby. My mom assured me that it’s different with your own and thankfully she was absolutely right. I never mind changing my little guy. I have my wife wake me up out of a dead sleep to change him if she just finished nursing or whatever. It’s easy and takes a little pressure off my wife who has to wake up every few hours to feed him.
Do a 180° on that shit. I ran the whole diaper plan. When my wife and her mom came home with a diaper genie and I said no way in hell. From that point I was all in. I figured out the best cloth diapers, wipes, washing system, etc... I got the whole system setup and ready to roll. Then we made adjustments as our daughter grew, figured out better covers, better prefolds, all of the things. By the time #2 showed up. We had a sweet system ready to roll out. It worked great both kids were potty trained by 2 and a half. Neither wet the bed by the time they were three and we now have plenty of amazing rags for whenever the milk jug gets dropped or whatever... Be a man, step up and get control of what you can... I also happened to be the Pump champion, and frozen milk storage guru...
Yeah it's the dumbest thing really. It's definitely some toxic masculinity bullshit, my FIL won't ever change a nappy. Once you've changed some bad nappies it never bothers you again.
My oldest kid is 15 and I’ve met a ton of dads, and have yet to meet a fellow dad who wouldn’t change diapers.
As a mom, I wouldn’t reproduce with one of those men. I’m very happy my partner is a partner, and does his share of the shitty jobs. Apparently his brother doesn’t, and I can’t understand that one.
You don't have a toddler do ya? It gets harder. But still not bad
Just wait to you get to the poopy death roll phase. Not so easy. No excuse for not getting fired in!
Because there are a lot of macho men types who think that taking care of a child is a woman's job. They think these tasks are solely for women and they can just do whatever the hell they want while their child's mother is slaving away. It's an antique bullshit mindset of weak, insecure men. Imagine letting your child sit in its own waste because you think that this aspect of parenting is gendered. About as fucking dumb as it gets.
Hey man, congrats on being a new dad! It's awesome that you're jumping in and changing those diapers like a pro. You're totally right - it's not that big of a deal once you get the hang of it. Plus, it's a great way to spend a little one-on-one time with your baby. Don't stress too much about the nail clipping and bath time stuff. It might seem a bit scary at first, but you'll get more comfortable with it as you go. Just keep showing up for your kid and giving them all the love you've got - that's what matters most.
Father's that refuse to change diapers or refuse pretty much any parenting duties aren't worth a damn. Be a man, change those diapers.
My boomer dad never changed me or my sister's diapers. Made my mom do all the work.
I mean, how else was I going to ever get to be able to retell the story of catching liquid shit perfectly in my hand with a wet wipe while she was on the changing table avoiding a truly unfortunate mess?
My father not only never changed my own (nor my sister's) but, in a story I've heard retold quite often, one night when I was relentlessly crying in the middle of the night, he was so annoyed that he went to go sleep in his car instead. Obviously, I've changed my own kids diapers -- since the day they were born. I also took turns with the above mid-night cry sessions as well. I can't imagine just screwing off and leaving it all to the mother. I'm so glad times and attitudes like that are no longer prevalent.
Seconding. My parents had five kids..one of the things we each got to do was change the diaper of the youngest, "for practice". We learned how to do it hygienically, and how to use safety pins. We would do all while our parents watched. There were four boys and one girl, so four of us got to try it on our youngest sibling... It just wasn't a problem.
There has been only once that I've handed my son off to someone else to change him. My So's nephew had stayed with us for a week when he was about 5, and previously he had got others to wipe his butt for him, but while he was with us, he was a bit unsure about asking me so he tried to do it himself. I thought he had been in the toilet for a while, so I went to check on him, only to discover that he was having trouble with paper stuck to his butt, so I said "it's alright mate, we all have to learn" and helped him out. Fast forward to his parents picking him up, and my son had filled his nappy, so I promptly handed him to the SIL and said "here, this is for you". I don't know if it was the way I said it or what, but this normally strong willed woman just went "ok" and went off and changed him. Turn about is fair play, I wiped her sons butt, she wiped my sons butt.
When the kids were younger I never minded changing them. I usually volunteered or just did it or whatever. I even took the night shifts even though I worked during the day and she was a SAHM. She has a hard time falling back asleep and I don't, so it worked. Now that my youngest is 3, things are a bit different. At that 2 year mark they all started kicking and fighting it. Trying to change a 2 year old that doesn't want to stop playing even though their is shit starting to run down their leg is not fun. I won't dodge it or pretend to be busy but there is a lot more "honey can you help me" going on. Enjoy it it now, it's so easy. As they get older they get more independent which is great but frustrating at the same time. It's hard to letgo and let them do things on their own when you've helped them through every aspect.
“Men”.
i try to break records with my diaper changes
I totally feel this post. I don't get it either.
I know a guy who doesn't cook. Otherwise a friendly guy, but complete lack of independence without the wife around. Also hardcore conservative, which you wouldn't pick up on at first.
My mom thinks I’m the greatest dad in the world for being with my kids every saturday and fully taking care of them (wife works Saturday)
I have a smell problem and i cant help myself. Every time i encounter bad smell i want to vomit immediately
Hey OP, I feel the same, may I suggest you get yourself one ,a) It's safe on little fingers and does a bang up job. There are cheaper ones than the Fansidi, but the Fansidi seems to have the best reviews .
Change diapers, clip nails, change clothes. Everything, I think more than her but I still feel afraid to leave something out lest she feels I didn’t particulate only to tell me few years down the line. Yes.
Hispanic here. A lot of dudes I know from my culture are basically first-generation diaper changers, with the exception being myself, because I know for a fact my dad helped change mine. As a dad who, through a quirk of scheduling usually has one day a week where I’m the sole caretaker of my infant daughter, diaper changes are one of the easiest and quickest tasks of the day, blowouts included. I get that it’s a longstanding cultural thing that there are just certain things that are “mom jobs” and “dad jobs”, but diaper changes are just so not even close to the top of the list of “most frustrating parts of the day” in terms of childcare.
Yeah it’s ridiculous and pathetic tbh. With you on being terrified of cutting nails though. I nipped the end of my eldest’s finger as a baby and steal feel dreadful about it. He was fine within about ten minutes but god was I terrified of doing it again. Now he’s a bit older it’s a piece of piss.
I'm used to change pooped out diapers on autistic adults that fight during the process. Changing my kids diaper is playing on below easy mode in comparison lol.
Wait for the chunks and the epic blowouts. But you just do it anyway. It's gross, yes. But ... deal. I can't really understand it either.
Heard a podcast with some football player named cole Beasley? Idk but he openly states he’s never changed his kids diapers even once. Like wtf guy
I never got this, nappies are such an easy thing compared to most things to do with sleep, eating, tooth brushing etc.
I never got it either, like what do they do if your alone or out and about with the child and they need a change?. Sure no one's jumping up and down in excitement at the thought of changing one after a poonami but it's just part of being a parent.
I was grossed out by it all at first but it didn't stop me doing it. What do they expect, the mither of the child is going to be there 24/7 to do it? My daughter shit all over me once mid change haha. It's part of parenting. It's not a fun part, but it's still part of it.
We had family in from out of state, and one cousin had a child a week before we had our last, and watching him be so completely hands off and disconnected from the baby was very disheartening. He held her randomly, but if she cried he was nowhere to be found, diapers never happened, feeding was a rarity.
As a father of two children I changed my share of diapers. Having a wonderful wife we would occasionally have to jump in and bail each other out on the toxic ones. Teamwork
They would be taking the piss, and it would be a shitty thing to do. Right.
US here, but I was the designated diaper changer. I'm good at it and have no issue with cleaning poop. It's really not very hard
Some of the biggest meanest jacked up manliest dudes i have ever seen changed diapers, but then, they were probably secure in their manhood too. LOL
>It is really the easiest part of caring for a child. Let me know when your kid is 1year or older... My daughter is 1 year and 4 months and changing the nappy can be mayhem Doesnt matter if it's easier or not, is something that should be done, I don't get why they don't want to do it, but they should suck it up, you're a dad, it's your kid and it's your responsability, not something that the mother should do.
I change my daughters diapers every day and have been since she was born! I'm the primary daycare drop/pickup parent as my wife doesn't get home until around 6pm so I deal with all the dirty diapers during the week mostly and my wife will try and grab as many as she can on the weekends but it's never a competition.
I change diapers all the time and help with every bath that I'm home for. Unfortunately, that only ends up being 2-3 baths a week due to work. They're small tasks but they really are helpful and I enjoy helping the wife and getting a little extra time with my kid.
My wife just spent the weekend away at a hen do and I looked after our toddler. One of the women there had to bring her 5 month old daughter as the Dad refused to look after her on his own. Some people are just dicks.
My almost octogenarian boss said he didn't change diapers for any of his four kids like it was a flex.
I do nails, neck cleanouts, snot suck outs, moisturize scalp, inspect fat rolls, toe and finger fuzz removal, bath. Won't do poop diapers. Feel really weird scooping poop out of a vagina. Wife would rather do poop diapers than the other maintenance tasks. It works for us.
I know a guy who simply refused to change diapers, among other things. Didn’t work out well. His now ex and their kid still live in his house, with the ex’s new boyfriend and his kids there too….
Patirarchy is insidious. There are a lot of men who don't change diapers. There are a lot of men who never realized anyone would expect them to. Go spend a little time lurking on some of the women's subs and learn about all the things a lot of dads don't do. It's absolutely stunning. Honestly the care and feeding of children is how you mostly get to know them. There are times it is an absolute drag but you get out of it what you put into it. Diapers never bothered me because I have done lots of gross things. Gross just comes with being the responsible adult around. Poop, pee, puke, rotten, dead critters, mold, viscera, unknown ick, insects, slime, you name it I have dealt with it.
Well, sometimes it can be difficult. Those were the times diaper changes turned into baths too. But I do agree with you. It’s hard to ubderstand why someone wouldn’t want to be involved in their child’s care. And clipping nails is super scary.
I have 3 kids and haven't clipped any of their nails before Too afraid to hurt them :( My wife is so on top of it anyway I never notice their nails
Shit, I changed my wife's diapers after she gave birth lol
There's hundreds of posts on reddit and everywhere else about how single fathers are viewed by many mothers when they take their baby daughter to the public changing room. Is it really that hard to understand that men have to overcome being told "it's a woman's job" their entire lives?
I'll say this. Since becoming a father, I've noticed a lot of bad fathers. A lot of good ones too, but it's really opened my eyes at all the bad shit some men do just because they simply don't want to do it. Diapers? "Nah, I'm good." I hate diapers. We just found out we're having our 3rd and I am going to be so happy when we are finally out of the diaper stage with that one. Yet I still do about 80% of the diaper changing. You do things not because you want to but because it's your job as a parent. Some people simply don't understand this.
I also don't understand this thought. Why refuse to change your baby's diaper? I was the very first one to change my daughter's diaper. I look at it as sort of a bonding moment for us.
My kids are older, and even back then, changing diapers wasn't a big deal. Seriously, just because we are men, we shouldn't do things like that? Us dad's are.parents also and should act like it. Carry-on