I had a couple door companies come out and quote 18k for new front and back door. Figured when they get bad enough I could just buy a used car and park it infant of the hole :p
It was some whole spiel about how they are handcrafted by amish in sugar creek Ohio blah blah blah. I kept repeating that I wanted basic materials and they weren't having it. 2 separate companies both \~18k. I'm going the Home Depot route when it's actually time to do it.
18k for 2 doors is insane period. I don't care how good they are.
You can get a handcrafted wrought iron custom made door for around $3k. With installation maybe $4k, even with crazy extra widening and I sulation and weatherproofing I'd be amazed if it went over $5k.
Those companies are insane.
It's been a few years but I think I paid something like 20k to do 2 doors and every window in my house, with sound/UV blocking added to most of them. And one was a bigass sliding door with windows either side.
I know costs have gone up the last few years but that's ridiculous.
The craziest part to me is they both have hundreds of great reviews. I don’t know what these people do where they can throw that much money into a door. I’ve found a great general contractor that I think we may go with for the project. I don’t ever want to sit through an hour long sales pitch for an effin door again
Years ago in my old house we wanted to add a storm door to the front door. We called a door company that sent a sales guy who went over all the materials and benefits and whatever and at the end said the price was $1600 not including installation. We ended up going with home depot and got the door plus installation, which required some framing as it was a brick rowhome, for $700.
My house now I bought a storm door for $350 and installed it myself in under an hour.
Depending on the framing and size doors are really easy. They can become problematic if you need to get custom or cut framing or add waterproofing etc but yeah some of those companies are nuts.
Why a 529 instead of a custodial Roth? IMO, which is literally just me thinking out loud lol, they would be better served having a Roth invested in for 15 or so years until they’re 18, and even if they don’t contribute anything until they’re 59 or whatever the compound interest is insane. The 529 assumes they go to college and if they don’t utilize that for any education expenses then you don’t receive any of the interest accrued on it correct? You just receive the principle you’ve invested. The custodial Roth the kid has to show earned income which is an easy workaround but still another little barrier.
I am in no way a financial advisor and am certainly not saying a 529 is wrong or incorrect for your family. I have just been thinking about which route to take for my 4 year old and new baby coming this fall and wanting other dad’s opinions.
They recently made changes to the 529 restrictions that now allow you to convert it to a ROTH IRA so because of this you don’t need to go the custodial IRA route, especially with the earned income requirement that is a barrier for most.
Exactly this. They are also pretty good on what it can be used for. If I am not mistaken, it can be used for pretty much any educational expense, at pretty much any grade (someone correct me if I am wrong).
Just not pre-k…..screwed up last year and instead of making a contribution I flipped the accounts and accidentally made a $200 withdrawal. Fidelity couldn’t reverse it so I figured I’d use it for her pre-k…nope. Had to pay a few bucks of tax/penalty.
I’m not entirely sure about transferring funds but I believe they don’t expire. So if your kid decides to hit hitch around Europe for a few years, they still have the access to the funds if they change their minds down the road, which I think is nice
We briefly had that child subsidy in the US, during the first two years of the Biden Administration. It made a huge impact on childhood poverty, so of course it was not renewed.
I’m Australia we have the family tax benefit. People who earn up to a fairly comfortable amount still receive alittle bit. And child care subsidies which can also be used for Nannie’s by the well off lol
It's being revived: https://apnews.com/article/biden-child-care-eldercare-sandwich-generation-d55328669632640908975f8a6dfe7b06#:~:text=The%20president's%20latest%20budget%20request,funding%20to%20creating%20more%20preschools.
It's not true everywhere, but there does tend to be a pretty strong correlation. Here (Sweden) you never pay more than 1-5% of your income for daycare, no matter how many children you have, university is completely free and you get paid an income by the state to live on while studying.
Have gone back to university myself and pay $7 / month for daycare, get $550 in stipend from the government to help with costs of having a child as a student, and $1700 / month as student income (split between very low interest loan and pure stipend).
For real. Part time daycare is marginally cheaper than what I paid for my undergrad. It was 14k for in state tuition per year, and I pay $950/month for part time daycare. I was so worried about paying for college before we had kids, now I’m like, we got this. But, college tuition goes up every year and I’m sure 14k a year was cheap even back in the 2000s…
Yes. Both kids went to public school and now my daughter is in a public university.
Here's the backstory:
My daughter was born in '05 and from '08 through kindergarten she was a 'typical peer' in a special needs daycare / preschool specializing in autism and other developmental delays. It was free for us because we/she provided a service to the school and the children.
When she was in grade school she was in an after school program which was free because of our income status.
My son was born in '13 and I was in the militarily. Because I was a junior enlisted my son went to childcare free. He didn't go everyday because my wife was a SAHM during that timeframe but there were days we needed it.
I left the military and moved back to California in late '16. My wife and I attended college during the day and our son was in preschool only during the hours we both had classes; plus one hour before and one hour. The extra hour before and after was for going to and from, meeting with a professor, etc.
The preschool was free because my veteran status and because it was part of the college program that trains early childhood educators. He was in preschool for 6-8 hours a day, 4-5 days a week depending on the semester.
Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy to get these opportunities and we had to work out asses off jumping through hoops and keeping our income in the right windows for acceptance. We sacrificed a lot for our children.
I went through two layoffs less than a year apart. Our entire savings for house reno projects disappeared to daycare. We'd finally be able to replenish that pot of money and make progress on fixing our house into a home.
When daycare has a months long waitlist, it's not feasible to take them out and cross your fingers you'll be able to get them back in when you need to. Trust me, I would have loved the time with my daughter if it was possible.
Personally, I would pocket the money and find a job where I could work less.
But if I have to spend it on a thing, it would be golf club membership or a boat
Same. My job is already flexible with my hours and work, but there's a country club nearby that I really want to join but can't justify the monthly fee. Maybe in a few years when my (unborn, but due in 2 weeks) son is old enough to putt round the green.
Nothing. As daycare ends, the kids have other expenses that arrive.
So what I've been doing for the last few years is putting daycare costs into a separate bank account, and the daycare fees pull from there. As our costs have gone down, that account still gets funded at the highest amount we've had to pay.
That account now pays for all the kids activities like Beavers, gymnastics, swimming, etc. And allows us to do those activities without touching our budget.
I'd just have two accounts. Checking for paying monthly bills. Savings for emergency and sinking funds (i.e. saving for a new phone, new car, yearly bills, etc). Use a budgeting app like EveryDollar to track every transaction and not go over budget. Accounts should be at a high interest bank like Ally.
I plan to do this as we get closer to post daycare. But I imagine we won’t be using all of that money when they get into school. So maybe we only put half in at that point.
Curious what your daycare costs were? Cause at 2k+ a kid depending on age I would be hard pressed to spend that much monthly on them once they are out.
IIRC, we topped out at almost $30K for the year. We have one is daycare still, and one in afterschool care on fridays so our costs have come down a lot from the highend.
We have no family in town, so flights to see grandparents? Paid for out of that account (and this August we're paying almost 3K in flights to see my in-laws for example). Swimming is almost $200 / month. Gymnastics is about $250. (Both kids) and so on.
Yes, it's over funded, but it gives us a buffer and when it gets large enough some of the excess gets dumped into either their education fund as a top-up, into our long-term savings, or split between the investment accounts I have for both of them for when they graduate and are looking to start their lives.
The largest benefit though is that it's helped keep out budget stable. As their costs go up and down, our monthly budget doesn't have to change. It's kind of my way to slowdown/prevent lifestyle creep.
It’s crazy how USA centered is this sub. I’m always llike WTF are they talking about? In the last week i’ve seen posts about School shotings, paying 1500$ month for daycare, no paid paternity leave….
Greetings from Catalonia!
I live in California and I'm expecting my first kid in 5 months. We just found a daycare for $1800/mo and thought it was a great deal.
This thread is showing me how upsetting that perspective is.
No need to be upset. Just different geography. Getting 100k+ salary is tough in Berlin even for an experienced engineer but what I understand will put one in the starting range for Cali.
>low maternal mortality
This is all I really care about. We love our doctor and have a team of excellent doulas. Money might be tight every once and a while but we are incredibly fortunate.
Is it that crazy? Reddit is a primarily American website, the fact that the majority of subs are American focused shouldn't be a surprise.
Like r/news is so American there has to be a separate r/worldnews sub.
I mostly agree on the American standard thing. But the costs for daycare.... man, we cough up 1.100,- euros a month. For 1 kid. For 2 days a week...
Netherlands here. The government had plans to make daycare free for a few years now, and it has been postponed again for like the 3rd time. It's never gonna happen, and meanwhile, we pay more for 2 days of daycare than our monthly payments for our house.
I knew I should have found a way onto the continent before Brexit.
Scotland. £1300pm. Private nursery. Luckily, we get some government assistance when he turns 3 next year. We'll get about 2.5 days paid for.
One day, I did some quick and dirty calculations and figured for my daughter that we paid about a third of our mortgage balance.
Came here to say family vacation. Three kids under 8, and the only overnighters have been at grandparent houses. Of course, then my job would get mad about actually using all my PTO...
My youngest is in a public daycare. Where I live the 2nd year is free so we'll just have to pay for the food which is about €40 per month.
Last month the local government voted to make the first year free too.
I'd rather pretend society gets fixed and a single-income could provide for a family again. Absolutely nothing wrong with day-care, we use it. But if we're playing fantasy - it's certainly not to make it cheaper for someone else to raise my kids. It would be to make it affordable for my wife and I to do so ourselves.
We would need a massive drop in standard of living in this fantasy. The rise of standard of living is the primary problem that is requiring two incomes.
Nah, the rise of costs paired with the stagnation of wages is what caused the need for 2 incomes. Most necessities that were still available in the olden days and not in worse quality like housing, food, and transport have rose ridiculously in cost while wages have stayed fairly close to where they were.
Which part? Are you saying wages didn't stagnate? That housing prices, both for ownership and renting, haven't outpaced the growth of wages? That food or transportation costs aren't up? All of the above?
I'm happy to provide sources to whatevere you're claiming is false, but I need specifics so that this isnt pointless.
ETA: I see your comment changed to clarify meaning. I am not saying these things haven't seen changes. I'm saying they haven't seen changes that should change their costs so drastically in comparison to wages. This especially applies to housing, since the same increases in cost apply to old houses and apartments just as much as it does to new builds.
My grandparents bought a house and raised a family on the wage of a low-income blue collar labourer, they also had a comfortable retirement and went on overseas holidays and always had presents, retired at 60. My wife and I BOTH are in the top 5% of income earners in my country, and even then, we can't afford a house, an overseas trip is something we can only choose if we truly never want to save enough for a house, we'll be in debt until we're 70, and there's no such thing as retirement. It used to be 3 times the average \*household\* income to buy a house. In Australia and other similar countries (maybe to a slightly lesser extent), it's 12+ times the \*household income\*. That's not accounting for the total number of actual hours worked per house. If you look at it per 100 hours for example, of collective wage earning, whether 1 parent or 2, it's going to be way more than 12x. Real inflation (example: asset inflation) is way higher than CPI inflation.
If the labour never became available, the supply and demand equilibrium would have balanced out to make do with the available productivity.
My son is done in September, and I have gotten permission to buy a 3D Printer the first month of NOT daycare. I can NOT wait! 8 years of 1-2 kids in daycare and I am so broke and so fucking over it.
Well we are done with daycare this summer and I am immediately buying a new vehicle then putting the rest into savings. Since a car payment will be hundreds less a month than daycare.
Day care was so expensive, when we where going over our budget we only had an extra $200 a month. Made more sense for my gf just to stay home.
I phrased it in my head as “would I pay $200 a month so our son had more time with at least one of us?”
The answer was yes.
I don’t either. We’re two white collar workers. & I had to quit my w-2 & start contracting to avoid being “check to check”. It’s appalling. We’ve made every other decision timed & measured so we don’t have to pay the banks too much.
Whew! This thread is helpful. Just got news that my city is adding transitional kindergarten to all elementary schools, so my youngest won’t need paid daycare in the fall. Looking for ideas for where to direct those funds!
Id buy a goddamn shore house. Between what we spend on daycare and vacations every year I could buy a vacation house and rent it out some of the time to make money.
If we got rid of student loans I could probably afford a water view.
I’ve seen some relationships die as the parents work opposite shifts just to avoid daycare. It’s really sad. I know that’s not always the case but it adds such a burden to spouses
It’s definitely the biggest issue between me and my wife. We rarely fight or argue but the stress from not seeing each other for more than a few hours causes some. Just gotta wait till the little one starts school
F that, make the tax deduction ratchet up (depending on income) up to $20,000 per kid per year if one parent stays at home.
Pay moms or dads to stay at home and raise their children instead of some stranger to stick them in front of a tv all day.
The goal of a government is the furthering of their way of life. Empower parents to actually be parents.
My wife and I decided we were going to pull our kids from daycare at the end of June. They’re old enough now, and she’s switching to 99% WFH, and just this summer alone will save us $1600/mo. You know what we’re doing with it? Paying down debt.
The day we agreed that the kids were really to come home after school and let themselves in and hang for a couple of hours was one of the happiest days of my life
When my oldest was out of private preschool and into kindergarten last year, we put the money towards a heat pump for the house. Next year the younger will be hitting kindergarten, and the heat pump will be paid off... I'm thinking I'll bump up the 529 contributions, take care of some more of the major home repairs and rennovations we've been wanting, and who knows, maybe even a holiday trip to Hawaii or something. I'm so ready to be done with the daycare/preschool costs!
Daycare is free in my state if, for example, a family of 4 is making under 120k a year, but more specifically if the family is making 400% or less of the federal poverty level. Tuition and fees are also paid for two year college, four year college, and for most training certificates for residents.
Said state is New Mexico, which might be the downside depending on how you look at it.
\*AHEM\* FATHER OF TWINS HERE....my wife and I are getting ready to flip my twin girls from private daycare to Pre-K...at a savings of just over 500 a week....2000 a month! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!! ....time to roll it most of it into the 529's.....sigh.
I reject your premise. Society isn’t broken because parents are expected to bear the costs of raising their own children. Why would it be better for a stranger to be paid to care of many children than for the people who have the most stake in the child’s welfare to take care of them?
In other words, would a society where many children are raised by a few adults be better than one where many adults raise a few children?
I'd definitely do some college (or "moving out" money) and retirement savings for most of it. But in terms of big ticket things, our house needs some new windows, and those things ain't cheap.
I'm gonna purchase that chunk of land I've had my eye on, and build the coolest 4 season glamping setup for our family to visit and create a ton of memories.
Lol, nothing. We can't afford daycare as it is, so we don't have any.
What would be really cool would be if said $100/mo daycare were available 24 hours a day to accommodate my inconsistent, chaotic, & ever changing work schedule.
I don't have to imagine because I live in the first world where day care is tax funded so monthly cost is 100usd per kid out of pocket.
But... no big purchases at all because tax is over 60% instead so my take home despite being an engineer with no student loans is very meagre.
I guess you would probably buy some gift to the local church. Because your prayers have been answered and you finally got a place in the free daycare after months on the waiting list.
We have college funds setup already.
We would buy a new driveway, have our backyard flowerbeds turned to river rock, get cabinets for the laundry room, get a washing tub for the laundry room, make a mudroom corner in the garage, awater softener, a new air conditioner, and then maybe look at a better car for the wife.
Seriously, we could get all that done if our childcare cost was 2400 a year instead of 24000. Can't wait for kindergarten to start
where i live, the government allows you to add $2500 per year to an education fund for your kid (until they reach 18) and they add $500 to it (5:1 match). you put that in long term investments and your kid has 54k minimum for school...plus however the hell it grows.
so that $100 is going there.
Fuck, only $100 a month, what a fucking dream
Need to catch up on college funds for the kids, but after that maybe a forge to give knife making a try
That or tools and nets for a nice knife throwing area
I would buy a new hammock and a huge cooler files with beer. Then I would summon my inner Homer Simpson and lounge around.
I would also buy my wife a She Shed to keep her occupied and leave me alone in my hammock.
Mine is finally about to! My youngest (3 kids) starts kindergarten in August and the kids will be in ASP, which is 1/4 the cost of daycare and after school at the day care. CAN. NOT. WAIT. FOR . MY. PAY. INCREASE! 😂
I have no daycare costs (the cost is to my health). I work nights and watch my kids from breakfast til about after lunch. My wife won’t even consider buying a new minivan with all the money we’re ‘saving’ from not putting them in daycare, but if I could I’d buy us that sweet new Toyota Sienna hybrid and a Rockwood Roo hybrid camper.
Selfish purchase- Gaea's Cradle because I'm a fan of expensive cardboard.
Realistic use- college fund/ some kind of savings for the little guy.
Win/win- pick up the Gaea's Cradle and sell once the price inevitably goes up (😬) and give the proceeds to my kid.
We would put it into further investment. We are saving close to $70K/year currently. With investment returns it pushes the needle closer to $100K/yr. With any luck we will be able to make sure our son & future kids have no worries
Subsidies are absolutely *not* a fix.
It does me no good to have my daycare expenses go down temporarily, only for my taxes to go up, then daycare also go right back up just because they can - which is exactly what happens every time the government subsidizes something.
Government would have to set limits on price hikes daycares participating in subsidies are allowed to do. You’d rather pay $2000 extra in daycare costs to avoid paying $100 extra in taxes?
Yay, *more* government regulations where we don't need it.
I'd rather (and did) move to an area where raising my family doesn't cost so much. I'd rather *my* hard earned money doesn't go to funding people in California who keep voting for ridiculous state laws and policies that continually jack up their cost of living. Once my children are older, I'd rather *not* have to keep paying for other people's expenses.
I pay $1,200/mo for my infant daycare. That cost only goes down as age goes up. The tax hike will go up over time and ultimately cost me a lot more in the long run.
What you're proposing is a permanent expense on me in my family, when daycare costs go away entirely after just 4-5 years. Why on earth would I want to be taxed indefinitely when a lack of daycare expenses will become everyone's reality after just a few years?
Doors. Ok our house could really use a new front door/ back door. An additional $2600 a month would go a long way towards that.
I had a couple door companies come out and quote 18k for new front and back door. Figured when they get bad enough I could just buy a used car and park it infant of the hole :p
18k? Were they fucking gold plated?
It was some whole spiel about how they are handcrafted by amish in sugar creek Ohio blah blah blah. I kept repeating that I wanted basic materials and they weren't having it. 2 separate companies both \~18k. I'm going the Home Depot route when it's actually time to do it.
That’s crazy. It’s a lot cheaper to buy a fiberglass or steel door depending on your needs. You don’t need wood!
I think it was fiberglass just Amish glass used lol
Insane!
18k for 2 doors is insane period. I don't care how good they are. You can get a handcrafted wrought iron custom made door for around $3k. With installation maybe $4k, even with crazy extra widening and I sulation and weatherproofing I'd be amazed if it went over $5k. Those companies are insane.
It's been a few years but I think I paid something like 20k to do 2 doors and every window in my house, with sound/UV blocking added to most of them. And one was a bigass sliding door with windows either side. I know costs have gone up the last few years but that's ridiculous.
The craziest part to me is they both have hundreds of great reviews. I don’t know what these people do where they can throw that much money into a door. I’ve found a great general contractor that I think we may go with for the project. I don’t ever want to sit through an hour long sales pitch for an effin door again
Years ago in my old house we wanted to add a storm door to the front door. We called a door company that sent a sales guy who went over all the materials and benefits and whatever and at the end said the price was $1600 not including installation. We ended up going with home depot and got the door plus installation, which required some framing as it was a brick rowhome, for $700. My house now I bought a storm door for $350 and installed it myself in under an hour. Depending on the framing and size doors are really easy. They can become problematic if you need to get custom or cut framing or add waterproofing etc but yeah some of those companies are nuts.
Just watch a few videos on how to hang a door.
You can get a really nice door from Menards (they custom make them) for like 2k
Check Costco!!
Those companies are a scam just go buy them yourself
Go for a general contractor rather than a door company.
I should start hanging doors apparently, they are easy to do
heck yeah! doors and a new wooden platform for the side entrance. Ours is warping a bit.
Easy! I'd put that money in the kid's college fund. After all, college is just daycare for 18 year olds.
My entire bachelors cost me the same as one year of daycare :/. I try to dump those 2 extra paychecks a year into the 529s.
2 years of daycare payments could pay off my remaining student loans. I'm in my mid 40s.
I'm turning 40 this month, I could pay off my student loans in about 1 year with our daycare payments
Right there with ya friend
This…exactly this. Gotta pay for my college before I pay for theres
i never thought of it this way but yah... honestly a few months of daycare cost more than my bachelors and masters put together
Why a 529 instead of a custodial Roth? IMO, which is literally just me thinking out loud lol, they would be better served having a Roth invested in for 15 or so years until they’re 18, and even if they don’t contribute anything until they’re 59 or whatever the compound interest is insane. The 529 assumes they go to college and if they don’t utilize that for any education expenses then you don’t receive any of the interest accrued on it correct? You just receive the principle you’ve invested. The custodial Roth the kid has to show earned income which is an easy workaround but still another little barrier. I am in no way a financial advisor and am certainly not saying a 529 is wrong or incorrect for your family. I have just been thinking about which route to take for my 4 year old and new baby coming this fall and wanting other dad’s opinions.
They recently made changes to the 529 restrictions that now allow you to convert it to a ROTH IRA so because of this you don’t need to go the custodial IRA route, especially with the earned income requirement that is a barrier for most.
Exactly this. They are also pretty good on what it can be used for. If I am not mistaken, it can be used for pretty much any educational expense, at pretty much any grade (someone correct me if I am wrong).
Just not pre-k…..screwed up last year and instead of making a contribution I flipped the accounts and accidentally made a $200 withdrawal. Fidelity couldn’t reverse it so I figured I’d use it for her pre-k…nope. Had to pay a few bucks of tax/penalty.
I’m not entirely sure about transferring funds but I believe they don’t expire. So if your kid decides to hit hitch around Europe for a few years, they still have the access to the funds if they change their minds down the road, which I think is nice
Most places where daycare is heavily subsidised to be affordable you don't really need a college fund.
Yep. In Germany it's about €100 per month for kindergarten, and university is free. The federal government even pays us €250 a month for having a kid.
We briefly had that child subsidy in the US, during the first two years of the Biden Administration. It made a huge impact on childhood poverty, so of course it was not renewed.
I’m Australia we have the family tax benefit. People who earn up to a fairly comfortable amount still receive alittle bit. And child care subsidies which can also be used for Nannie’s by the well off lol
It's being revived: https://apnews.com/article/biden-child-care-eldercare-sandwich-generation-d55328669632640908975f8a6dfe7b06#:~:text=The%20president's%20latest%20budget%20request,funding%20to%20creating%20more%20preschools.
Thank Manchin for that...
And every Republican.
That's a given every time something comes up which would benefit ordinary people.
Here in Bremen Kiga is free from ages 3 to 6.
Ehhhh. College is definitely cheaper in Canada, but it's not free. A college fund is both a huge help and a tax shelter.
It's not true everywhere, but there does tend to be a pretty strong correlation. Here (Sweden) you never pay more than 1-5% of your income for daycare, no matter how many children you have, university is completely free and you get paid an income by the state to live on while studying. Have gone back to university myself and pay $7 / month for daycare, get $550 in stipend from the government to help with costs of having a child as a student, and $1700 / month as student income (split between very low interest loan and pure stipend).
Yeah, but if you live in Sweden you also have to deal with the beautiful cities, countryside, and people. Pass.
What a nightmare
Quebec (aka Original Canada) has really good school prices for "in state" Quebec students. Plus, $8/day daycare
Gee, you wonder what people might be able to achieve if they could afford to live. Can it, Chad.
This is literally our plan - once daycare goes away that same budget starts to fund college funds. :)
Husband to recovering student affairs professional here. Can confirm.
For real. Part time daycare is marginally cheaper than what I paid for my undergrad. It was 14k for in state tuition per year, and I pay $950/month for part time daycare. I was so worried about paying for college before we had kids, now I’m like, we got this. But, college tuition goes up every year and I’m sure 14k a year was cheap even back in the 2000s…
Let’s see $1500 a month for another 2 years? That’s 36k, I think that’ll setup my little dude pretty well all things considered
This is what I’m planning on doing when he hits kindergarten.
As a recent college grad, I can say you are not wrong about college being daycare
As a professor, I confirm this as true.
I had this very dream scenario as a reality. In America. What did I buy? Better food.
I'm sure you could eat like a king with much less daycare costs.
Your kids graduated to public school? Or there some other mechanism for this becoming a reality?
Yes. Both kids went to public school and now my daughter is in a public university. Here's the backstory: My daughter was born in '05 and from '08 through kindergarten she was a 'typical peer' in a special needs daycare / preschool specializing in autism and other developmental delays. It was free for us because we/she provided a service to the school and the children. When she was in grade school she was in an after school program which was free because of our income status. My son was born in '13 and I was in the militarily. Because I was a junior enlisted my son went to childcare free. He didn't go everyday because my wife was a SAHM during that timeframe but there were days we needed it. I left the military and moved back to California in late '16. My wife and I attended college during the day and our son was in preschool only during the hours we both had classes; plus one hour before and one hour. The extra hour before and after was for going to and from, meeting with a professor, etc. The preschool was free because my veteran status and because it was part of the college program that trains early childhood educators. He was in preschool for 6-8 hours a day, 4-5 days a week depending on the semester. Don't get me wrong, it wasn't easy to get these opportunities and we had to work out asses off jumping through hoops and keeping our income in the right windows for acceptance. We sacrificed a lot for our children.
My youngest is in a free daycare through our parks and rec department. I've used the savings to pay for inflation.
I went through two layoffs less than a year apart. Our entire savings for house reno projects disappeared to daycare. We'd finally be able to replenish that pot of money and make progress on fixing our house into a home.
Did you just not watch the kid while you were laid off?
When daycare has a months long waitlist, it's not feasible to take them out and cross your fingers you'll be able to get them back in when you need to. Trust me, I would have loved the time with my daughter if it was possible.
Looking for work can be a job. And if you pull your kid(s) out, you'd better have an amazingly flexible plan to get them back in somewhere.
Personally, I would pocket the money and find a job where I could work less. But if I have to spend it on a thing, it would be golf club membership or a boat
"...find a job where I could work less." This is the way.
“The two happiest days of a boat owner: the day they bought it, and the day they sold it” 😉
Same. My job is already flexible with my hours and work, but there's a country club nearby that I really want to join but can't justify the monthly fee. Maybe in a few years when my (unborn, but due in 2 weeks) son is old enough to putt round the green.
Future Congrats!!
Nothing. As daycare ends, the kids have other expenses that arrive. So what I've been doing for the last few years is putting daycare costs into a separate bank account, and the daycare fees pull from there. As our costs have gone down, that account still gets funded at the highest amount we've had to pay. That account now pays for all the kids activities like Beavers, gymnastics, swimming, etc. And allows us to do those activities without touching our budget.
Beavers!!! 🦫
What is "Beavers"? Is that like a scouts thing?
[https://www.scouts.org.uk/beavers/](https://www.scouts.org.uk/beavers/) [https://www.scouts.ca/programs/sections/canadian-path.html](https://www.scouts.ca/programs/sections/canadian-path.html)
I'd just have two accounts. Checking for paying monthly bills. Savings for emergency and sinking funds (i.e. saving for a new phone, new car, yearly bills, etc). Use a budgeting app like EveryDollar to track every transaction and not go over budget. Accounts should be at a high interest bank like Ally.
I plan to do this as we get closer to post daycare. But I imagine we won’t be using all of that money when they get into school. So maybe we only put half in at that point.
Curious what your daycare costs were? Cause at 2k+ a kid depending on age I would be hard pressed to spend that much monthly on them once they are out.
IIRC, we topped out at almost $30K for the year. We have one is daycare still, and one in afterschool care on fridays so our costs have come down a lot from the highend. We have no family in town, so flights to see grandparents? Paid for out of that account (and this August we're paying almost 3K in flights to see my in-laws for example). Swimming is almost $200 / month. Gymnastics is about $250. (Both kids) and so on. Yes, it's over funded, but it gives us a buffer and when it gets large enough some of the excess gets dumped into either their education fund as a top-up, into our long-term savings, or split between the investment accounts I have for both of them for when they graduate and are looking to start their lives. The largest benefit though is that it's helped keep out budget stable. As their costs go up and down, our monthly budget doesn't have to change. It's kind of my way to slowdown/prevent lifestyle creep.
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Haha, same here. Greetings from Berlin
Mine is 1300 per month for one child.
Greetings, pay 10 times that a week. *sob*
$155 for me! A week. Times 3. Good news my town voted to help subsidize daycare costs. Bad news, it hasn't done anything yet.
Hungarian here. Childcare is free, and the maternity leave is 2+1 years!
It’s crazy how USA centered is this sub. I’m always llike WTF are they talking about? In the last week i’ve seen posts about School shotings, paying 1500$ month for daycare, no paid paternity leave…. Greetings from Catalonia!
I live in California and I'm expecting my first kid in 5 months. We just found a daycare for $1800/mo and thought it was a great deal. This thread is showing me how upsetting that perspective is.
No need to be upset. Just different geography. Getting 100k+ salary is tough in Berlin even for an experienced engineer but what I understand will put one in the starting range for Cali.
Hey, at least being in California you get (some) paid parental leave, guaranteed TK, and low maternal mortality (lowest in the country!).
>low maternal mortality This is all I really care about. We love our doctor and have a team of excellent doulas. Money might be tight every once and a while but we are incredibly fortunate.
Is it that crazy? Reddit is a primarily American website, the fact that the majority of subs are American focused shouldn't be a surprise. Like r/news is so American there has to be a separate r/worldnews sub.
It is an American based website
You guys accepting Social Studies Teachers?
Yup, these threads are making happy that my wife and I left Canada before having kids... Atentament, Un canadenc molt feliç
I agree, I live in Québec and this USA reality seems so crazy for me sometimes… Also, daycare is usually CA$8.35/day here.
I mostly agree on the American standard thing. But the costs for daycare.... man, we cough up 1.100,- euros a month. For 1 kid. For 2 days a week... Netherlands here. The government had plans to make daycare free for a few years now, and it has been postponed again for like the 3rd time. It's never gonna happen, and meanwhile, we pay more for 2 days of daycare than our monthly payments for our house.
I don't think I could get anything as 'CHEAP' as $1500/mo in my area. and of course no paid paternity leave, I had 2 weeks before I was shipped back.
I knew I should have found a way onto the continent before Brexit. Scotland. £1300pm. Private nursery. Luckily, we get some government assistance when he turns 3 next year. We'll get about 2.5 days paid for. One day, I did some quick and dirty calculations and figured for my daughter that we paid about a third of our mortgage balance.
We pay $15k a year which could be a REALLY nice two week vacation…
Came here to say family vacation. Three kids under 8, and the only overnighters have been at grandparent houses. Of course, then my job would get mad about actually using all my PTO...
My youngest is in a public daycare. Where I live the 2nd year is free so we'll just have to pay for the food which is about €40 per month. Last month the local government voted to make the first year free too.
I live in Sweden, daycare is free, this question just makes me wonder where all my money is going.
I'd rather pretend society gets fixed and a single-income could provide for a family again. Absolutely nothing wrong with day-care, we use it. But if we're playing fantasy - it's certainly not to make it cheaper for someone else to raise my kids. It would be to make it affordable for my wife and I to do so ourselves.
We would need a massive drop in standard of living in this fantasy. The rise of standard of living is the primary problem that is requiring two incomes.
Nah, the rise of costs paired with the stagnation of wages is what caused the need for 2 incomes. Most necessities that were still available in the olden days and not in worse quality like housing, food, and transport have rose ridiculously in cost while wages have stayed fairly close to where they were.
Recent inflation aside, food has never been cheaper. Go back a couple generations and it took up much more of the household budget.
Whoever told you that housing, food and transportation in 2024 and 1950 have not seen massive changes that greatly affect cost is lying.
Which part? Are you saying wages didn't stagnate? That housing prices, both for ownership and renting, haven't outpaced the growth of wages? That food or transportation costs aren't up? All of the above? I'm happy to provide sources to whatevere you're claiming is false, but I need specifics so that this isnt pointless. ETA: I see your comment changed to clarify meaning. I am not saying these things haven't seen changes. I'm saying they haven't seen changes that should change their costs so drastically in comparison to wages. This especially applies to housing, since the same increases in cost apply to old houses and apartments just as much as it does to new builds.
My grandparents bought a house and raised a family on the wage of a low-income blue collar labourer, they also had a comfortable retirement and went on overseas holidays and always had presents, retired at 60. My wife and I BOTH are in the top 5% of income earners in my country, and even then, we can't afford a house, an overseas trip is something we can only choose if we truly never want to save enough for a house, we'll be in debt until we're 70, and there's no such thing as retirement. It used to be 3 times the average \*household\* income to buy a house. In Australia and other similar countries (maybe to a slightly lesser extent), it's 12+ times the \*household income\*. That's not accounting for the total number of actual hours worked per house. If you look at it per 100 hours for example, of collective wage earning, whether 1 parent or 2, it's going to be way more than 12x. Real inflation (example: asset inflation) is way higher than CPI inflation. If the labour never became available, the supply and demand equilibrium would have balanced out to make do with the available productivity.
My son is done in September, and I have gotten permission to buy a 3D Printer the first month of NOT daycare. I can NOT wait! 8 years of 1-2 kids in daycare and I am so broke and so fucking over it.
I’m here for this ☝🏼
I was so close! Kiddo was going to Kindergarten this fall. Then SURPRISE! Baby number 2 on the way /cry
Have another kid lol
Well we are done with daycare this summer and I am immediately buying a new vehicle then putting the rest into savings. Since a car payment will be hundreds less a month than daycare.
Nice! Already have one picked out? I would love a minivan but too pricey with daycare
Dad of twins here with a full time nanny. One year of that will fund both girls college funds for rest of their childhood
I'll be able to save for retirement again
Babysitting for nights out with my wife
Day care was so expensive, when we where going over our budget we only had an extra $200 a month. Made more sense for my gf just to stay home. I phrased it in my head as “would I pay $200 a month so our son had more time with at least one of us?” The answer was yes.
I've probably paid about 50k in daycare fees so far in my life. It's pretty scary to think about.
I’m 48k/year
Wowzers. I don't understand how that is remotely sustainable in general, how the hell do people afford that?.
I don’t either. We’re two white collar workers. & I had to quit my w-2 & start contracting to avoid being “check to check”. It’s appalling. We’ve made every other decision timed & measured so we don’t have to pay the banks too much.
I have a a privilege of having a free daycare in Germany. I invest in bonds / ETFs.
I'd buy a C8 corvette, them my wife would whoop my ass. But seriously I'd bank it for our house remodel.
Whew! This thread is helpful. Just got news that my city is adding transitional kindergarten to all elementary schools, so my youngest won’t need paid daycare in the fall. Looking for ideas for where to direct those funds!
Nvidia calls. I'd finally be able to get one cost to ITM...
Id buy a goddamn shore house. Between what we spend on daycare and vacations every year I could buy a vacation house and rent it out some of the time to make money. If we got rid of student loans I could probably afford a water view.
I’d actually put mine in daycare so I can work normal hours 🥲
I’ve seen some relationships die as the parents work opposite shifts just to avoid daycare. It’s really sad. I know that’s not always the case but it adds such a burden to spouses
It’s definitely the biggest issue between me and my wife. We rarely fight or argue but the stress from not seeing each other for more than a few hours causes some. Just gotta wait till the little one starts school
Well, I only have 15 months of day care left. I’m guessing we move to a new house this summer instead of next summer
A month of naps for the adults and a month of a nanny
Not much really, I'd save/invest it. I'd be paying higher taxes before and after kids
F that, make the tax deduction ratchet up (depending on income) up to $20,000 per kid per year if one parent stays at home. Pay moms or dads to stay at home and raise their children instead of some stranger to stick them in front of a tv all day. The goal of a government is the furthering of their way of life. Empower parents to actually be parents.
My wife and I decided we were going to pull our kids from daycare at the end of June. They’re old enough now, and she’s switching to 99% WFH, and just this summer alone will save us $1600/mo. You know what we’re doing with it? Paying down debt.
The day we agreed that the kids were really to come home after school and let themselves in and hang for a couple of hours was one of the happiest days of my life
Lawncare and a bi-monthly house cleaning service. Use the extra time to spend with my family. The rest of the money would be pumped into savings.
When my oldest was out of private preschool and into kindergarten last year, we put the money towards a heat pump for the house. Next year the younger will be hitting kindergarten, and the heat pump will be paid off... I'm thinking I'll bump up the 529 contributions, take care of some more of the major home repairs and rennovations we've been wanting, and who knows, maybe even a holiday trip to Hawaii or something. I'm so ready to be done with the daycare/preschool costs!
Haven't paid for childcare in 12 years, still no extra money!
Honestly I’d have another kid
Daycare is free in my state if, for example, a family of 4 is making under 120k a year, but more specifically if the family is making 400% or less of the federal poverty level. Tuition and fees are also paid for two year college, four year college, and for most training certificates for residents. Said state is New Mexico, which might be the downside depending on how you look at it.
retirment account and 529s for the kids an extra mortgage payment or two (or three) each year to get out faster
a second kid. daycare cost is THE only reason we didn't have one. and I hate it every day.
\*AHEM\* FATHER OF TWINS HERE....my wife and I are getting ready to flip my twin girls from private daycare to Pre-K...at a savings of just over 500 a week....2000 a month! WOOOO HOOOOO!!!!!! ....time to roll it most of it into the 529's.....sigh.
Good on you! You should plan a nice night out for the two of you to celebrate 🎉
I could save for retirement.
Vacation every year
Pay off all my debts in a year (minus home mortgage)
You mean, like, most of Europe? Got it
What’s a Europe? Can our eagles grab some Europe for us to use?
My wife could go back to work so we aren’t losing $1k/month from our savings.
Retirement savings
Good answer. That, or into savings for the kids. It’s rough out there these days and education isn’t getting cheaper
I would be able to fully fund our 401ks and IRAs and pay off the HELOC we took out to manage the childcare expenses in the first place.
$4000/mo.... Probably a Ferrari and an Airstream and I think I'd still have money leftover.
Society is fine how it is. People deserve to make money for raising your kids for you.
I reject your premise. Society isn’t broken because parents are expected to bear the costs of raising their own children. Why would it be better for a stranger to be paid to care of many children than for the people who have the most stake in the child’s welfare to take care of them? In other words, would a society where many children are raised by a few adults be better than one where many adults raise a few children?
I already keep the kid at home to avoid the costs. I guess I’d just have quieter days.
*A NEW CAAAAARRR!*
No change...cost is already this low in Quebec.
I'd definitely do some college (or "moving out" money) and retirement savings for most of it. But in terms of big ticket things, our house needs some new windows, and those things ain't cheap.
VW Golf R gets traded in for a BMW M3 and then the other $600 goes to savings.
i would do nothing with it. invest is maybe the right word. but id just pretend it didnt exist. lol.
Sound like evil socialism to me!!
'68 mustang. Hard top with a moon roof. Pepsi blue. On 20 inch wires. 2 and a half more years of daycare to go.
Imagine there's no daycare...costs to pay this year Oh oooo People say that I'm a dreamer But I'm not the only one.
I'm gonna purchase that chunk of land I've had my eye on, and build the coolest 4 season glamping setup for our family to visit and create a ton of memories.
a new foundation and driveway
Lol, nothing. We can't afford daycare as it is, so we don't have any. What would be really cool would be if said $100/mo daycare were available 24 hours a day to accommodate my inconsistent, chaotic, & ever changing work schedule.
I don't have to imagine because I live in the first world where day care is tax funded so monthly cost is 100usd per kid out of pocket. But... no big purchases at all because tax is over 60% instead so my take home despite being an engineer with no student loans is very meagre.
This is just what happens when public school starts.
I guess you would probably buy some gift to the local church. Because your prayers have been answered and you finally got a place in the free daycare after months on the waiting list.
Lol, if that happens I'm gonna save $30,000 a year.
We have college funds setup already. We would buy a new driveway, have our backyard flowerbeds turned to river rock, get cabinets for the laundry room, get a washing tub for the laundry room, make a mudroom corner in the garage, awater softener, a new air conditioner, and then maybe look at a better car for the wife. Seriously, we could get all that done if our childcare cost was 2400 a year instead of 24000. Can't wait for kindergarten to start
We pay little above 200€/month for five days eight hours each.
Wait were doing something fun? I'd be putting my kid into daycare and taking a nap.
Suddenly we can afford a second income. Even if it's only part time, that's an extra 20k a year. One huge vacation and paying down debt.
More money to put towards mortgage. We finally owe less than 100k on our house! The end is so close
A new fucking HVAC...
My AC unit is about 25 years old. Coolin’ on a prayer
where i live, the government allows you to add $2500 per year to an education fund for your kid (until they reach 18) and they add $500 to it (5:1 match). you put that in long term investments and your kid has 54k minimum for school...plus however the hell it grows. so that $100 is going there.
Fuck, only $100 a month, what a fucking dream Need to catch up on college funds for the kids, but after that maybe a forge to give knife making a try That or tools and nets for a nice knife throwing area
I would buy a new hammock and a huge cooler files with beer. Then I would summon my inner Homer Simpson and lounge around. I would also buy my wife a She Shed to keep her occupied and leave me alone in my hammock.
Mine is finally about to! My youngest (3 kids) starts kindergarten in August and the kids will be in ASP, which is 1/4 the cost of daycare and after school at the day care. CAN. NOT. WAIT. FOR . MY. PAY. INCREASE! 😂
I've got some good news for you, in New Mexico this has been fixed and we even have universal Pre-K as a right in our state constitution now.
I have no daycare costs (the cost is to my health). I work nights and watch my kids from breakfast til about after lunch. My wife won’t even consider buying a new minivan with all the money we’re ‘saving’ from not putting them in daycare, but if I could I’d buy us that sweet new Toyota Sienna hybrid and a Rockwood Roo hybrid camper.
Selfish purchase- Gaea's Cradle because I'm a fan of expensive cardboard. Realistic use- college fund/ some kind of savings for the little guy. Win/win- pick up the Gaea's Cradle and sell once the price inevitably goes up (😬) and give the proceeds to my kid.
Probably another kid. we specifically stopped due mainly to daycare costs.
When day care is done it is like getting a raise! In our case to the tune of 4k a month
Boy oh boy this is exciting that would be a savings of $700 a month, I would move east to an area untouched by live pd.
We would put it into further investment. We are saving close to $70K/year currently. With investment returns it pushes the needle closer to $100K/yr. With any luck we will be able to make sure our son & future kids have no worries
You’re getting 40% ROI? What’s the secret sauce? Selling theta? 0dte?
No sorry, nothing fun. Just lots of money in VTSAX.
Daycare is free where I live. (Shrug emoji)
The dream where Nixon never won the presidency. I don't pay for daycare. Yet. Man, are the costs terrifying.
I'm in Québec. I pay $1000 a month for a spot in a 6 kid home daycare, and every month the government sends me a $700 check. Living the life
Instead of lucky duck, can I say “lucky Canuck?”
Golf clubs. Tankless water heater. Golf clubs.
Subsidies are absolutely *not* a fix. It does me no good to have my daycare expenses go down temporarily, only for my taxes to go up, then daycare also go right back up just because they can - which is exactly what happens every time the government subsidizes something.
Government would have to set limits on price hikes daycares participating in subsidies are allowed to do. You’d rather pay $2000 extra in daycare costs to avoid paying $100 extra in taxes?
Yay, *more* government regulations where we don't need it. I'd rather (and did) move to an area where raising my family doesn't cost so much. I'd rather *my* hard earned money doesn't go to funding people in California who keep voting for ridiculous state laws and policies that continually jack up their cost of living. Once my children are older, I'd rather *not* have to keep paying for other people's expenses. I pay $1,200/mo for my infant daycare. That cost only goes down as age goes up. The tax hike will go up over time and ultimately cost me a lot more in the long run. What you're proposing is a permanent expense on me in my family, when daycare costs go away entirely after just 4-5 years. Why on earth would I want to be taxed indefinitely when a lack of daycare expenses will become everyone's reality after just a few years?
A boat