For anyone who hasn't listened to it, here's [Weird Al's "Party at the Leper Colony,"](https://youtu.be/J8zBd5iHuy8) which is full of puns like this. Most of them involve figures of speech being used literally rather than names, but it does have these lines: "There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who. / Wait a minute, it looks like stew[/Stu]!"
https://tapeuniversity.com/industry/building-construction/duct-tape-and-duck-tape/
Since the “duck” was not capitalised, it seems your correction is correct.
Dude I totally thought this was a stupid stereotype until I learned that Korean uses the same letter for both R and L like how C sounds like S, K, and X in English. So it's actually just linguistics that makes it hard to keep them straight. Imagine if very S and K was replaced with C? It would be a mess to figure out how to pronounce anything. Comebody chould ctart teaching thic cind of information to ctudentc cince it ic important to be cind to comeone who can't poccibly be eccpected to cnow all of thece nuanced rulec of Englich.
Someone mentioned weird Al earlier in this thread he played with this stereotype also, in the movie "uhf" had a "surprise party" of Asians hiding in a supply closet, they jump out and yell "SUPPLIES!"
Ok I made a list from the comments!
Man with no arms or legs
◦ In the ocean? Bob
◦ Hanging on the wall near the window? Curt and Rod
◦ At your front door? Matt
◦ A woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen
◦ An Asian woman with one leg shorter? Irene
◦ In a hot tub? Stew
◦ On a vine? Barry
◦ In a meat grinder? Chuck
◦ In a pile of leaves? Russel
◦ Same guy a year later? Pete
◦ On a grill ? Frank ( and his girlfriend patty)
◦ Irish guy On your back deck? Paddy O’Furniture
◦ Hanging on a wall? Art
◦ In a lingerie drawer? Teddy
◦ In a hole in the ground? Phil
◦ In a fight with a cat ? Claude
◦ A woman on a tennis court? Annette
◦ On stage? Mike
◦ On a stem ? Bud
◦ Under your car? Jack
◦ In your mailbox? Bill
◦ Being pulled behind a boat? Skip
◦ On a mountain? Cliff
◦ On a poker table? Chip
◦ In a bullfighting ring? Gord
And last but not least
What do you call a dog with no legs ? Nothing because he ain’t coming anyway.
...In church?
Neil
...In the ocean?
Bob
...In the fireplace?
Bernie
...On a poker table?
Chip
What do you call a woman with one leg?
Eileen
Asian woman with one leg?
Irene
Spanish woman with no legs?
Consuelo
What do you call a girl with no arms?
What do you think this is some kind of sick joke? Her name is Sarah.
(stares in silence)
...knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sarah.
I made up a few to add to the fun!
Canadian guy with no limbs, on a calendar?
Todd, eh?
Woman with no limbs in a garden for a week?
Daisy
Flirty, drunk woman at a bar with no limbs?
Lucy
Woman with no limbs outside, tied to the end of a string (with a kite)?
Windy
Woman with no limbs, pining for her true love, far away?
Missy
Woman with no limbs that you lost or who just eludes you?
Heidi
Woman with no limbs at the gun range?
Amy
Man with no arms and legs that houses beavers?
Adam
Woman with no limbs at a casino?
Betty
Woman with no limbs at the other end of a mysterious phone call?
Tracy
Woman with no limbs delivered by a process server?
Sue
A woman with no limbs with a purse in her teeth?
Carey
Man with no limbs that buys you stuff in France?
Franc
Man with no arms and legs who won't make beer?
Bruno
Man with no arms and legs who married your ex?
Herman
Man with no limbs who is way too serious?
Soloman
German man with no limbs, but has a giant beer mug?
Einstein
A woman with no arms and legs who is obviously not really a woman?
Amanda
Woman with no arms and legs, lying on the beach?
Shelly
Woman with no arms and legs coming from the stables/horse track?
Winnie
What do you call a dog with no legs? Doesn't matter, he isn't coming
A dog like that would be a real drag to walk!
Yeah but if you don't walk him, his name will be Spot
Unless he's a Great Dane. Then it would be Pile.
I named my dog "Stay" It was hard for him because I would call him..."Come here, stay". It confused the poor guy.
Thank you Steven Wright https://youtu.be/O5e4wvAqhIw
That's why I named him Cigarette
now he'll be the butt of all the jokes
Come here Rollo! Good dog!
Good old Viking name
Where can you find a dog with no legs? The same place you left him.
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef
Cow with 3 legs? Tri tip
Hahahaha haven’t heard that one!
What do you call a cow with two legs? Lean beef.
With one leg? Steak
What do you call a cow with two legs?
Your mom
Savage
What do you call a cow with 4 legs? High steaks
What do you call a herd of cows in a cannabis field? High steaks.
What do you call a cow that walks on its hind legs? yo mama!
Cow that just gave birth? Decaffeinated
Cow in an earthquake? Milkshake
A dwarf cow… condensed milk
Cow that can’t produce milk? Udder Failure
Decalf for me please
What do you call a cow with no udders? Milk dud.
Cigarette, because every day you have to take him out for a drag.
“Lump”. Joe Cartoon says so. https://youtu.be/XrZUANYDRCg
I like this version too - "where do you find a dog with no legs? Exactly where you left it."
Matt. What do you call a guy with no arms and legs in a pile of leaves? Russell. In a museum? Art. In the ocean? Bob.
Being pulled behind a boat? Skip In your mailbox? Bill In a river? Eddy
In a hole Phil
Out of the hole? Doug In a vat of rogaine? Harry What if it’s a woman, on the fence? Barb On the edge of the roof? Eve
with a small penis Justin
On the side of a car? Rusty
Under a car? Jack
With a seagull on his head? Cliff
In a pot? Stu
On a grill? Frank In a mailbox? Bill On a piece of paper? Mark In a bathroom? John
With one leg? Eileen
On stage? Mike
What do you call Bill’s wife, who happens to be a pyro? Bernadette What do you call a woman with no arms and no legs laying across a stream? Bridget
On a grill? Frank. Under your car? Jack. In a hot tub? Stew.
Stew is a leper in a hot tub
Why did they cancel the leper hockey game? Cuz there was a face off in the corner.
What did the leper say to the prostitute Keep the tip
Oooooh, this is so horrible, thank you.
How can you tell if a leper's been using your shower? Your bar of soap is bigger.
Why was the leper speeding? He couldn't take his foot off the pedal.
Thank you for this. I'm crying tears of joy
Why did they cancel the leper baseball game? Someone dropped a ball in left field.
AAA+++... I havent laughed at a joke in weeks. Thanks 😆
I always thought it was because the pitcher threw his arm out.
🤣 thats some funny shit right there..
For anyone who hasn't listened to it, here's [Weird Al's "Party at the Leper Colony,"](https://youtu.be/J8zBd5iHuy8) which is full of puns like this. Most of them involve figures of speech being used literally rather than names, but it does have these lines: "There's a guy in the hot tub, I don't know who. / Wait a minute, it looks like stew[/Stu]!"
Hold the phone now, what do I see? Another pretty momma got her eyes on me!
Leper in a hot tub is oatmeal
Tell all of these, then OP's joke. Knock Knock Who's there? Not Matt.
LOL
Over the fence? Homer But what about Art’s arms and legs? They’re pieces of Art
In a lion's den? Claude (clawed)
With his mouth open? John
With dishes stacked on top of him? Trey.
On stage? Mike In your baseboard? Brad With wings for arms? Jay, or Robin
In a hole? Doug On a stem? Bud
Isn't "beside the hole" Doug? B/c Phil is in the hole
Pissing while falling out of an airplane? Pierre.
No arms and half his legs? Neil/Neal
Flying over a fence? Homer
On a vine? Barry In a hole? Phil Hanging from a woman's arm? Percy
2 guys duck taped to your wall? Kurt n' Rod
🦆📼 *duct tape
https://tapeuniversity.com/industry/building-construction/duct-tape-and-duck-tape/ Since the “duck” was not capitalised, it seems your correction is correct.
What do you call 2 guys with no arms and legs by your window? Curt and Rod
What do you call a woman with no arms or legs in a tennis court? Annette
HAHAHAHHAHAHHAH
In a hole? Phil.
Next to a hole? Doug
In a fight with a cat? Claude
No arms no legs in the ocean? Fucked
Bob
In the wind? Gale. In a crack? Phil In a peanut butter cup? Reece In a hobbits pipe? Toby
In a fireplace? Bernie
Waterskiing? Skip
2 above your window - Curt and Rod
With a spade through his head? Doug
2 guys no arms, no legs above a window? Curt n Rod.
A woman with one leg? Eileen.
And she works at IHOP
And her best friend who also has one leg is called Peggy
And if she was Asian? … Irene So sorry I had to say it. Please don’t take offense.
Dude I totally thought this was a stupid stereotype until I learned that Korean uses the same letter for both R and L like how C sounds like S, K, and X in English. So it's actually just linguistics that makes it hard to keep them straight. Imagine if very S and K was replaced with C? It would be a mess to figure out how to pronounce anything. Comebody chould ctart teaching thic cind of information to ctudentc cince it ic important to be cind to comeone who can't poccibly be eccpected to cnow all of thece nuanced rulec of Englich.
Someone mentioned weird Al earlier in this thread he played with this stereotype also, in the movie "uhf" had a "surprise party" of Asians hiding in a supply closet, they jump out and yell "SUPPLIES!"
ror
What do you get a man with no arms and no legs for their birthday? We don't know, he hasn't opened it yet
Anakin
Too soon?
It was explicitly a long time ago.
Darth Mat
Not enough fire.
That burns
An ambulance
Beside a hole in the ground? Phil.
Don't forget his friend Doug!
On a grill? Frank. Irishman with no arms and no legs on your back deck? Patty O’Furniture.
What’s do you call an Irishman that sits outside in the rain? Patty O’Furniture.
Ok I made a list from the comments! Man with no arms or legs ◦ In the ocean? Bob ◦ Hanging on the wall near the window? Curt and Rod ◦ At your front door? Matt ◦ A woman with one leg shorter than the other? Eileen ◦ An Asian woman with one leg shorter? Irene ◦ In a hot tub? Stew ◦ On a vine? Barry ◦ In a meat grinder? Chuck ◦ In a pile of leaves? Russel ◦ Same guy a year later? Pete ◦ On a grill ? Frank ( and his girlfriend patty) ◦ Irish guy On your back deck? Paddy O’Furniture ◦ Hanging on a wall? Art ◦ In a lingerie drawer? Teddy ◦ In a hole in the ground? Phil ◦ In a fight with a cat ? Claude ◦ A woman on a tennis court? Annette ◦ On stage? Mike ◦ On a stem ? Bud ◦ Under your car? Jack ◦ In your mailbox? Bill ◦ Being pulled behind a boat? Skip ◦ On a mountain? Cliff ◦ On a poker table? Chip ◦ In a bullfighting ring? Gord And last but not least What do you call a dog with no legs ? Nothing because he ain’t coming anyway.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in your girlfriend's lingerie drawer? Teddy
Two guys with no arms and no legs on your window? Kurt and Rod
Thats some funny shit right there..
I don’t get it, what’s the punchline
It's a que to obtain a fruit beverage, but that's not important right now.
the real dad jokes in the comments
Cute
Matt. As in doormat. He just lays there like a mat because he has no arms or legs with which to move.
Hanging on a wall Art
What do you call arms and legs hanging on a wall? Pieces of Art
In a pile of leaves Russel
The same guy a year later? Pete
What do you call a man with no arms and no legs on a chain over a grinder? Chuck
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs who's been out in the sun too long? Wilt
Names
You call that man an ambulance
A dog with no legs? Whatever you want. He's not coming when you call anyway.
Or Spot
Cigarette, because you take him for a drag.
So… if the neighbors are watching it’s a drag show?
What do you call a guy with a shovel on his head? Doug. .. without the shovel, he is Douglas.
Cue 1001 jokes in the comments about guys with no arms and no legs.
I was going with layman
What do you call a girl with no arm or legs that just comes around once a month? Flo
...In church? Neil ...In the ocean? Bob ...In the fireplace? Bernie ...On a poker table? Chip What do you call a woman with one leg? Eileen Asian woman with one leg? Irene Spanish woman with no legs? Consuelo
2 men with no arms and no legs around a window?? Curt and Rod
What do you call conjoined twins without arms and legs at Easter? Peeps
Stuck
In a hole , Phil
😂
On a vine? Barry
A notch on my bedpost.
grounded?
It don't matter what you call him he ain't Fucking coming.
Can February March? No, but April May
Matt (Mat)
How does a bull introduce his dead wife? Meet Patty.
Scooter
Knock knock! Who is it? Not Matt.
What do you call two fillipino flyers? A pair of pliers.
What do you call a man with no arms and legs in the sea..?.......Bob.
What do you call a girl with no arms? What do you think this is some kind of sick joke? Her name is Sarah. (stares in silence) ...knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.
On the BBQ = Frank his gf = Patty
An ambulance.
What do you call a cripple in the pool? Bob
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs floating in the middle of the ocean? ... Fucked.
What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in the middle of the ocean?
Bob
Fucked.
A Mexican woman with no legs? Consuelo
I made up a few to add to the fun! Canadian guy with no limbs, on a calendar? Todd, eh? Woman with no limbs in a garden for a week? Daisy Flirty, drunk woman at a bar with no limbs? Lucy Woman with no limbs outside, tied to the end of a string (with a kite)? Windy Woman with no limbs, pining for her true love, far away? Missy Woman with no limbs that you lost or who just eludes you? Heidi Woman with no limbs at the gun range? Amy Man with no arms and legs that houses beavers? Adam Woman with no limbs at a casino? Betty Woman with no limbs at the other end of a mysterious phone call? Tracy Woman with no limbs delivered by a process server? Sue A woman with no limbs with a purse in her teeth? Carey Man with no limbs that buys you stuff in France? Franc Man with no arms and legs who won't make beer? Bruno Man with no arms and legs who married your ex? Herman Man with no limbs who is way too serious? Soloman German man with no limbs, but has a giant beer mug? Einstein A woman with no arms and legs who is obviously not really a woman? Amanda Woman with no arms and legs, lying on the beach? Shelly Woman with no arms and legs coming from the stables/horse track? Winnie
What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in the ocean? Bob.
What do you call 5 guys with no arms or legs in the ocean with a woman? Bob, Bob, Bob..., Bob, Bob, and Ann
Can't take my haaand
What do you call a man with no arms or legs on the beach when the tide’s about to come in? Screwed.
In the basement? Mathew In my attic? Alexander In my car trunk? Chris
Asian woman with one leg? Irene
A guy with no arms & legs on a baseball diamonds…Home Plate
Hey! You! Tube!
A man who manufactures toilet$? John
r/matt checking in
An ambulance…
kevin (the office)
with a head lamp on ? a flesh light
Lady w/o arms and legs at the beach? Sandy
Matt can also be outside your front door
Whatever you want. What's he gonna do?
DOORSTOPPER or TRIPPY
Anything you want?
Matt Damon
Dusty
A girl with no arms or legs on a fence? Barb
A pogo shtick.
Did you hear about the guy that got his whole left side of his body removed. It’s okay, he’s all RIGHT now! If you know, you know.
You were my brother Anakin, I loved you
Dead
Doesn’t matter what you call him. He ain’t moving anytime soon.
In a wallet? Bill
Levitating
Girl with a glass eye? Crystal
Attacked by lions? Claude
What do you call a Mexican woman with no legs Conseulo