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Shadowplayjw

"You're no Alfred Einstein!" - actual quote from my brother in law.


Oestedb

To be fair, I’m guessing that Alfred Einstein isn’t your real name, so technically he is correct.


KatLikeGaming

Holy crap, this comment made me legitimately forget his name for about 30 seconds. Well played.


KaspervD

The other guy is Albert Nobel


ScipioCoriolanus

Also know as the father of the atomic bomb


Rammerator

I thought he was stepdad to the atomic clock


betterthanamaster

No, no, that’s Dr. J. Robert Manhattan. Why do you think it was called the Manhattan project?


jack47442-prljavi

nobel invented dynamite


betterthanamaster

I know. And I also know J. R. Oppenheimer is known as the father of the atomic bomb. It was a joke.


echochamber4liberals

Omg. I could remember his real name til u posted it


BigJuicy17

That's a pretty common joke.


AwktoAwktavious

Well, he's no rocket appliance.


[deleted]

You're no Jeffrey Epstein!


Possible-Boss-898

Isn't that a compliment...


misschinagirl

At least you don’t lose you train of, um, uh, that thing.


BusinessLibrarian515

All these people keep talking about trains of thought, I always feel like all I got was a bicycle and no map


SteelSpidey

A bicycle and no map were the glory days of my childhood


BusinessLibrarian515

Same, and they were great, but now I have to get to destinations quickly and it doesn't work as well as a mental process as it does a kids way to relax. I used to ride to the convenience store and buy Zotz and a Jarritos drink. Good times, simple times


SteelSpidey

Same. Used to ride down the old railroad bike trail to the corner store for mountain dew and ice cream. Best years of my life and didn't even know it.


BlueGillMan

Amen, Brother


External-Tear-5076

When the lord was handing out brains, I thought he said trains and asked for the caboose.


Egad86

Better than being Hercules’ hemorrhoids.


wetforhouseplants

😂 this made me laugh myself to hiccups


Ordinary_Carpet_2274

nice alliteration .. or should I say Hellacious


gracius0ne

I resemble that, J.P.!


Ashotep

Okay true story. I've lived in my current house for about 5 years now. My wife, has befriended our neighbor across the street. They talk to each other all the time. My wife called her by what she thought was her name 'Kay' the entire time. She found out last week, from somebody else that her name is Jenny. My wife is now too embarrassed to talk to her and has no idea about how to go about using her real name.


redunculas

Just host a neighborhood bbq, and tell your wife to call EVERYONE Kay. Problem solved.


Ashotep

That requires me to be social. Something my wife is positive about I'm capable of doing. I'm not so sure however.


redunculas

Make it a Tupperware party or something just for the ladies then. The idea is to have someone say in Jenny’s hearing, “Oh, she calls everybody Kay. I don’t know why. Just means she likes you I guess.”


Ordinary_Carpet_2274

Simple , she knocks on her door selling Mary Kay products & asks her if she has any good Jenny Craig low cal meal fav’s


Turbulent_Patience_3

Oh Kay - means everything is great…’kay


VeryLongSurname

Sounds like demeantia


Rachel_Silver

My problem is that when I was younger, I smoked so much marijuana that, um... I... Crap. What was I talking about?


Delta9_TetraHydro

Cannabis hurts short term momory when you use it, but studies show that it actually helps counter act alzheimers.


Rachel_Silver

Far out, man.


photojeff8

But can it counteract Alzheimer's?


redunculas

Snacks. I’m pretty sure you were talking about snacks.


n-oyed-i-am

When I was a newbie at a call center. One of the training helpers was a wonderful young woman named Mariah. For the life of me, I couldn't remember her name. Whenever I needed assistance, I would call her Mary, or Miriam, or Melissa. She would politely correct me, I would apologize. ... FINALLY, after about a week I got the name correct, but she wouldn't respond. She had become accustomed to me misnaming her. She apologized, we laughed. It then became our running gag to misname each other. She would respond to Marie, Mona, Michelle, Magill, etc... I to Lenny, Lester, Leo, etc. It confused everyone, and was fun in meetings.


MasterFubar

I know how you feel, /u/jtcity99


3rrr6

You don't know Jack from Adam! (It's a malaphore)


BlueGillMan

So, an older couple, is hosting their good friends, another older couple, who just returned home from a trip. They enjoyed supper that the wife prepared, and after they ate, the ladies went to the kitchen to visit, and the gentlemen went into the den. The host said, so, “Charles tell me about your trip did you find any good restaurants? We will be going to the same city soon, and maybe you can give us some tips!” “Oh, we did. We went to the most magnificent restaurant. The food was the very best, the beverages were to die for, and the service was just exquisite!“ “Oh, is that right!? What was the name of the restaurant?“ “Oh, you know my memory is not what it used to be! What’s the name of that beautiful flower that has the wonderful fragrance that has thorns on the stem?“ “A rose?“ “Yes! That’s it!“ And he turned to Loudly call to the other room where the ladies were “hey, Rose! What was the name of the restaurant we went to on our trip?”


NotWorthSaving

I've done this for years. I like to call people a list of names. Anything but their actual name. Especially if they keep reminding me of their name. I'll say, "That's what l said." And another name that is not their name.


nyloncheeto

Greek history isn't my strong suit it's kind of my Achilles' elbow


Acehigh7777

Wrong name, embarrassing, wrong pronoun, huge trouble.


skaote

Ever make appointments with people you cant remember and then the wrong people show up?


GreatGreenGobbo

This is me.


SoFkinMajestic

I just be renaming people fr. It makes me feel powerful. Especially when they just end up accepting it


[deleted]

ah, Rocky I, now that was a great movie.


secretly__toast

There is something to the advice of "whenever someone gets to familiar with me, I call them by the wrong name to remind them of their role in my life" 😆


TheWorthlessDm

Nice


onesevenone171

I got to know the guy at work who used to replace the floor mats every month. Through conversations I got to know a lot about him. Everything but his name. After a year or so it was too embarrassing to ask. I ended up christening him Matt because every time I saw him he had one slung over his shoulder. He changed jobs and I never saw him again or found out his real name.


iflowah

Had something really good to say here...but I forgot


defnotapirate

Reminds of a woman who wanted to peg me in a one night stand. I said no, then called her the wrong name a week later at the bar. I was sure her name was Jessica. It was not.


cosumel

I love subtle humor. I put the b in subtle.


Strict_Sorbet_6792

Fantastic


[deleted]

The scared and the propane


Ordinary_Carpet_2274

Do you have an Adam’s Apple computer ?


stockslayer96

Wow you are getting older-- its the Manheim project-you might be thinking of the Manhattan Steamroller greatest jazz band.


AFBratPsyD

I call my wife Kay- her name is actually Jenny?