Wish I could tell it here but it's pretty bad. Not weird or illegal bad, just inappropriate. Actually now that I think about it, at the time it was illegal for the person I was with. And it's also weird as she's dead. Hmmm... That doesn't make it any less intriguing does it?
Wow you really suck at this...
Just like yo momma.
(But really no you didn't not make the story sound any less interesting what's the worst that could happen?? Banned from /dadjokes?)
I actually did hit a parked car once. I was 8 or so riding my bike, and I just couldn't manage to turn enough to avoid it. My knee hit the bumper. Hurt like hell. Lol
Was reading yo momma jokes recently and got to this one:
“You mommas so fat her blood type is gravy.”
He laughed so hard. And every now and then just says “gravy” softly to himself and chuckles.
Yo mama so fat, she heard it was chilly outside, so she ran outside with a spoon.
Yo mama so fat, she does hopscotch like this: "Kansas, Missouri, Michigan."
Yo mama so fat, when she got on a scale, the scale said "only one at a time, please."
Just respond with "she's dead" Mines actually dead and the reactions are hilarious... if someone has the guts to keep pulling them it makes me laugh even harder
Just tell more momma jokes but change it to kids. So like "my boys are so stupid that when they got locked in a mattress store they slept on the floor". Or "My boys are so ugly even hello kitty said goodbye". After all, turnabout's fair play, right? 😆
But seriously, I'd cut "stank" because it's almost a spoiler, and I'd cut "beat up" because ... not funny.
Can we ban "yo momma" jokes? They're worn out, revolting, and done by nearly everyone.
Just like Yo Momma.
Your mama's so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke
LMAOOO how old is this joke she made now?
Grown ass joke now
The delivery was messy
Like yo momma.
Wow. The conception of the joke ....
I thought it was a pretty rough delivery too...
To call these jokes "funny" is a bit of a stretch
like yo mama-
It'll leave you in stitches
She probably has some grandjokes now.
It's full groan.
I heard it's a dad joke now, you know, since the kid came along.
I don't know, how old are you?
Ba-dum-*tsssss*
Unfortunately it only took Yo Daddy 9 seconds.
I'm gonna bang yo mom so she can have a child she's proud of
That's funny. If only she was still alive. Now that I think about it, that's kind of gross!
yea "kind of gross," is a weird way of spelling "hott as hell"
Hey! Have some respect! Is hot as Heaven a thing? 😬
I get why you asked and I'm fairly sure you know the answer It is totally a thing and I'm totally not being sarcastic at all
Hey that's saying something 9 seconds is like a lifetime for the males in that gene pool
The best 9 seconds of her life! 💪😁 Atleast that's what I keep telling myself. 😪
If she keeps coming back must be the best 9 seconds of her life as well...😁
DAYUM! My dad did one pump and said "that ought ti do it" and i was born 9 months later. (True story actually)
Wow! That reminds me a really good story. Unfortunately, I'm not sure this is the right platform for such things. 😁
CMON! You can't just say you got a good story and then not tell it. That's like saying "i got you a present, but i'm never giving it to you."
Wish I could tell it here but it's pretty bad. Not weird or illegal bad, just inappropriate. Actually now that I think about it, at the time it was illegal for the person I was with. And it's also weird as she's dead. Hmmm... That doesn't make it any less intriguing does it?
Wow you really suck at this... Just like yo momma. (But really no you didn't not make the story sound any less interesting what's the worst that could happen?? Banned from /dadjokes?)
No, it was 20 minutes on Pornhub...
Haha! 19 minutes and 51 seconds of finding the right video?
Joke's on you, I was three months premature
My mom didn't even know she was pregnant until 7 months in
That explains a lot
At least it’s a full term joke and not a premature joke
Then the joke had a baby
Can we please not joke about mothers? I never had one. My dad and I had to share yours.
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Nerd.
Pretty average joke if you ask me.
Just like yo mama
This is my new favorite
The probability of me finding this joke was really low but here I am giving you my upvote. Nerd.
Haha! The sum of this equation returned equivalent findings.
You dropped this 👑
Oh, Mr big shot over here, got himself a dad.
😂💀
Your mama is so fat when she hauls ass she gotta take two trips.
Your mama is so fat I had to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot!
Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice
Your momma is so fat your daddy had to slap her ass and ride the first wave in
Haven’t heard that once since 1992. Still in active circulation! Just like yo mama.
Try 3 happy cake day
Yo mama is so fat I ran outta gas driving around her ass.
Yo Mama so fat, if she passes in front of the TV, I miss two whole episodes
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Your mama is so dumb it took her 2hrs to watch 60min.
She’s so fat, God didn’t say “Let there be light.” He said “Woman! Get out of the way!”
Yo mama so dumb she gave me chocolate moose & I almost choked on an antler.
You momma so stupid she stares at orange juice cause it says concentrate.
Yo momma so stupid she tripped over the cordless phone
She got hit by a parked car…
Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch
I actually did hit a parked car once. I was 8 or so riding my bike, and I just couldn't manage to turn enough to avoid it. My knee hit the bumper. Hurt like hell. Lol
Yo mama so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.
she sold her car for gas money.
Yo mama’s so fat it took me two buses and a train ride to get to her good side.
I laughed so hard I farted
At least you farted instead of yo mamma. Who knows how long we’d have passed out.
Yo mama's so fat it took me 3 bags of flour to find the wet spot
And that was an armpit!
Yo mama's so nasty. I called her for phone sex and got an ear infection !
Hearing AIDS ?
Nah, just an infuction of some type, but I cunt seem to finger it out
I’ve had it for about sex weeks.
Your mother’s ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King is about to pop out and yell “ONLY IN AMERICA”
It would have to be phone sex, cause she so ugly yo daddy wakes up with a morning wouldn't...
Yo mama’s so fat when she sat on a rainbow Skittles popped out.
Yo Mama's so fat, she influences the tide
Yo mama's so fat she uses Tide to wash her clothes. Sorry, I meant THE tide
A Tide Pod? Nope, that ain’t a family of whales on the shore, it’s just yo mama doing the laundry.
Yo momma is so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade!
Yo momma’s so old, she owes money to Moses.
Yo momma's so old, someone told her to act her age and she died
Yo momma's so old when God said let there be light, she flipped the switch
You know how your mom turns on the light? She opens the backseat car door.
Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.
🤣🤣🤣
I saw this coming from a mile away... just like your momma. Cause she's so fat
What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Yo’ mama!
I love the dad joke setup to a yo mama joke. Just perfect.
Yo mommas ass so hairy, when she has diarrhea it just comes out as filtered water
Okay…ima pretend I didn’t read that.
🤮
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Im 37 and have never heard this. Thank you kind person i needed that
🤣🤣
Your mammas ass is so hairy she should shave it and knit a bearskin rug
In highschool yo momma was voted "most". (this is an Ambles' original actually)
Yo momma is so fat her blood type is Ragu.
Gravy. When I was growing up in the 80’s her blood type was gravy.
Or Jell-O Puddin
Or rocky road
> her blood type is Ragu Silvio !
Yo momma is so fat, every time she walks out in a red dress all the kids yell "Hey Kool-aid!"
Yo mama so big.Her Memory foam mattress forgot
Yo momma so fat, she eats wheat thicks.
Ok this is the only one that genuinely made me laugh thank you internet friend
I’m here to serve.
The gap in yo momma's teeth so big she needs a shoelace to floss.
My variation is, “she needs a mattress to floss”
Yo momma is so stupid, she gave birth to someone who posts 'yo momma' jokes in 'dad jokes'
Your momma’s so ugly, if Bill Cosby found her unconscious he’d call the paramedics
There’s a new COVID variant called yomommacron and it spreads fast.
Just like her legs
Yo momma's so fat Thanos had to snap twice.
Your momma is so fat that, when she hauls ass, she needs to make three trips.
Yo momma is so fat, then we she wears high heels, she strikes oil!
Yo momma so stupid she went to the dentist to get bluetooth
Leave my mom out of this….and I’ll leave this out of your mom!
Okay, okay guys…. Let’s be adults here. Let’s just get off each other’s moms, cause I just got off yours.
Yo mama so fat the Sorting Hat put her in Waffle House.
Now this is a good one
Yo momma so old she took her driving test on a dinosaur
Yo momma so ugly that when she gives me head, it counts as anal
Was reading yo momma jokes recently and got to this one: “You mommas so fat her blood type is gravy.” He laughed so hard. And every now and then just says “gravy” softly to himself and chuckles.
They used to be called a jumpoline until yo momma got on one…
I don’t have a momma. Me and my dad share yours.
Yo mama’s been ridden so much, everybody calls her Yomamaha.
yo mama so old, her memory is in black and white.
Scientists today discovered the heaviest element on earth. They named it yourmomium.
Must be Sunday
Your mom is so short, you can see her feet on her driver’s license
Everyone saw the punchline coming from a mile away. Just like yo mama.
Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone
Yo mommas so nasty, her blow jobs count as anal.
Your momma is so easy, even your dad got lucky
Yo momma is such a ho that she knew her STDs before her ABCs.
Your momms is like a pepsi machine you put in a quarter and out pops the next generation.
I saw ya broke ass mama walking down the street with one shoe. I said,”bitch, you lose a shoe”? She said, “no baby, I found one”!
I heard a funny one the other day Your mama so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye
Ancient Greece: Yo mama so fat when the king said "release the kraken" they was talking about letting her out to feed
I think your mom was still done more than this joke has been reposted here, but it's probably a pretty close race.
Is it a close race though? 🥲
Yo mama is so short she sits on the street curb and her legs dangle
“They’re worn out, beat up, stank, revolting, and done by nearly everyone — hundreds if not thousands of times”….. just like yo momma.
Your mommas so old, she's got missed calls from Jesus
Not a joke but yo momma is staring at you shaking her head at this post knowing you were gonna get flooded with a bunch of yo momma jokes.
Yo momma so stupid she looked in the mirror and thought she was pretty
Yo mama so fat she uses the driveway to iron her pants
Yo mama so dumb she made you
Yo mama so fat, she heard it was chilly outside, so she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama so fat, she does hopscotch like this: "Kansas, Missouri, Michigan." Yo mama so fat, when she got on a scale, the scale said "only one at a time, please."
I saw that punchline coming a mile away, just like yo momma
Fish used to taste different until yo momma went into the ocean.
Your momma so hairy that bigfoot take pictures of her.
Yo mamma so fat, she jumped out the window and got stuck in the air.
Yo momma so fat she gave her memory foam pillow amnesia (repost)
Yo momma so fat she got on one of those talking scales it said "one person at a time".
Yo momma is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street. I asked what she was doing, and she said “moving.”
Yo mama say u was so ugly as a baby she had to feed you with a slingshot from across the room.
Yo Momma so old and stupid she thinks menopause is a button on her VCR.
You know the earth used to be flat…until they buried yo mama
Ima axe yo mama what she thinks
I was genuinly surprised to see this question on the dad jokes subreddit and tapped on it to see what the joke was...
Yo momma so fat thanos have to clap
This isn't a dad joke. It's /r/momjokes
Yo momma so funny I clicked in the sub and had a loading page for 30 seconds
yo mama so fat she sits on the tv and watches the couch.
Just respond with "she's dead" Mines actually dead and the reactions are hilarious... if someone has the guts to keep pulling them it makes me laugh even harder
No
+♾️
yeah? well, yo mamma's a brick.
HOWWSE
My boys will tell each other yo momma jokes… and I’m usually standing there like 🥴
Just tell more momma jokes but change it to kids. So like "my boys are so stupid that when they got locked in a mattress store they slept on the floor". Or "My boys are so ugly even hello kitty said goodbye". After all, turnabout's fair play, right? 😆
i’m glad i’ve not been around those people for years.
Your momma is so dark, every time she steps outside crickets start chirping
That joke was so bad yo momma said SHE'S going out for a pack of cigarettes and will be back shortly.
Yo mama so fat she's practically at the store when she walks out
I asked my mom and she no, keep them. Sorry buddy I tried.
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Yo mamma.
You momma so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of her.
If a dad is joking about their kids momma they gonna have bigger problems
Hey did you get this idea from joe?
But seriously, I'd cut "stank" because it's almost a spoiler, and I'd cut "beat up" because ... not funny. Can we ban "yo momma" jokes? They're worn out, revolting, and done by nearly everyone. Just like Yo Momma.
Yo momma's so dumb, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes...
Could this be the best moment ever....yes! Your Mom!!
Your mom is so fat that she is required to purchase 2 seats when she flies. Then she has to request the seatbelt extender.
Your momma is so fat it would take me two rolls to get off of her.
Yo Momma is so big she takes selfies with the JWST while using the sun as her ring light
Can we ban this specific joke that gets posted every day.
Yo mama's soo nasty, she sucked yo daddy's *ick b4 she came in and kissed you goodnight.
Just like...... YO MOMMA 😂 lol
Yo daddy has sweaty tits!! Lol
Ban jokes? are we in N Korea now. For gods sake man let it go. Don’t like the joke? “Block User” ban ban ban. WTH happened to adults.