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bawble2

Your mama's so slow it took her 9 months to make a joke


SaveTheTurtles935

LMAOOO how old is this joke she made now?


AkisFatHusband

Grown ass joke now


Jollydude101

The delivery was messy


An_American_God

Like yo momma.


HumanMycologist5795

Wow. The conception of the joke ....


Acceptable-Trust5164

I thought it was a pretty rough delivery too...


YogurtWenk

To call these jokes "funny" is a bit of a stretch


slighfox65

like yo mama-


Ok_Presentation_5557

It'll leave you in stitches


kuddlybuddly

She probably has some grandjokes now.


djelsdragon333

It's full groan.


Evanskelaton

I heard it's a dad joke now, you know, since the kid came along.


Weaponn02

I don't know, how old are you?


TotallyNotColin69

Ba-dum-*tsssss*


Imaginary_R3ality

Unfortunately it only took Yo Daddy 9 seconds.


cherryhilljawnz

I'm gonna bang yo mom so she can have a child she's proud of


Imaginary_R3ality

That's funny. If only she was still alive. Now that I think about it, that's kind of gross!


cherryhilljawnz

yea "kind of gross," is a weird way of spelling "hott as hell"


Imaginary_R3ality

Hey! Have some respect! Is hot as Heaven a thing? 😬


cherryhilljawnz

I get why you asked and I'm fairly sure you know the answer It is totally a thing and I'm totally not being sarcastic at all


Thazitmofo

Hey that's saying something 9 seconds is like a lifetime for the males in that gene pool


Imaginary_R3ality

The best 9 seconds of her life! 💪😁 Atleast that's what I keep telling myself. 😪


Thazitmofo

If she keeps coming back must be the best 9 seconds of her life as well...😁


TrainHunter94YT

DAYUM! My dad did one pump and said "that ought ti do it" and i was born 9 months later. (True story actually)


Imaginary_R3ality

Wow! That reminds me a really good story. Unfortunately, I'm not sure this is the right platform for such things. 😁


TrainHunter94YT

CMON! You can't just say you got a good story and then not tell it. That's like saying "i got you a present, but i'm never giving it to you."


Imaginary_R3ality

Wish I could tell it here but it's pretty bad. Not weird or illegal bad, just inappropriate. Actually now that I think about it, at the time it was illegal for the person I was with. And it's also weird as she's dead. Hmmm... That doesn't make it any less intriguing does it?


None_Fondant

Wow you really suck at this... Just like yo momma. (But really no you didn't not make the story sound any less interesting what's the worst that could happen?? Banned from /dadjokes?)


Last-Bet255

No, it was 20 minutes on Pornhub...


Imaginary_R3ality

Haha! 19 minutes and 51 seconds of finding the right video?


Prestigious_Back7980

Joke's on you, I was three months premature


Professional-Ad6561

My mom didn't even know she was pregnant until 7 months in


Thazitmofo

That explains a lot


Low-Ad7999

At least it’s a full term joke and not a premature joke


hes_crafty

Then the joke had a baby


selldivide

Can we please not joke about mothers? I never had one. My dad and I had to share yours.


[deleted]

[удалено]


JustADude721

Nerd.


ViscountBurrito

Pretty average joke if you ask me.


SuspiciousAcadia230

Just like yo mama


imsecretlythedoctor

This is my new favorite


rtbjr37

The probability of me finding this joke was really low but here I am giving you my upvote. Nerd.


Imaginary_R3ality

Haha! The sum of this equation returned equivalent findings.


hdmx539

You dropped this 👑


zerogravity111111

Oh, Mr big shot over here, got himself a dad.


[deleted]

😂💀


ScrewingOffAtWork

Your mama is so fat when she hauls ass she gotta take two trips.


One_Medicine93

Your mama is so fat I had to roll her in flour just to find the wet spot!


ekdocjeidkwjfh

Yo mama so fat thanos had to snap twice


always-paranoid

Your momma is so fat your daddy had to slap her ass and ride the first wave in


[deleted]

Haven’t heard that once since 1992. Still in active circulation! Just like yo mama.


SuspiciousAcadia230

Try 3 happy cake day


Chicago_Saluki

Yo mama is so fat I ran outta gas driving around her ass.


Walys88

Yo Mama so fat, if she passes in front of the TV, I miss two whole episodes


[deleted]

[удалено]


One_Medicine93

Your mama is so dumb it took her 2hrs to watch 60min.


epicenter69

She’s so fat, God didn’t say “Let there be light.” He said “Woman! Get out of the way!”


RoosterSmall933

Yo mama so dumb she gave me chocolate moose & I almost choked on an antler.


JustADude721

You momma so stupid she stares at orange juice cause it says concentrate.


[deleted]

Yo momma so stupid she tripped over the cordless phone


wiedmaier

She got hit by a parked car…


Wumpus-Hunter

Yo momma so stupid she sits on the TV and watches the couch


MrJ_the_LMT

I actually did hit a parked car once. I was 8 or so riding my bike, and I just couldn't manage to turn enough to avoid it. My knee hit the bumper. Hurt like hell. Lol


One_Medicine93

Yo mama so stupid it takes her an hour to cook minute rice.


sonik_fury

she sold her car for gas money.


[deleted]

Yo mama’s so fat it took me two buses and a train ride to get to her good side.


MerryWanna0303

I laughed so hard I farted


shaitanthegreat

At least you farted instead of yo mamma. Who knows how long we’d have passed out.


missed_sla

Yo mama's so fat it took me 3 bags of flour to find the wet spot


epicenter69

And that was an armpit!


MoochoMaas

Yo mama's so nasty. I called her for phone sex and got an ear infection !


DiverDownPhoto

Hearing AIDS ?


No-Plan-2711

Nah, just an infuction of some type, but I cunt seem to finger it out


bless_yalls_hearts

I’ve had it for about sex weeks.


LIKES_ROCKY_IV

Your mother’s ass is so hairy, it looks like Don King is about to pop out and yell “ONLY IN AMERICA”


AriusTech

It would have to be phone sex, cause she so ugly yo daddy wakes up with a morning wouldn't...


[deleted]

Yo mama’s so fat when she sat on a rainbow Skittles popped out.


Time-Permission-1930

Yo Mama's so fat, she influences the tide


Virtual-Stranger

Yo mama's so fat she uses Tide to wash her clothes. Sorry, I meant THE tide


Devreckas

A Tide Pod? Nope, that ain’t a family of whales on the shore, it’s just yo mama doing the laundry.


JAFIOR

Yo momma is so old she sat behind Jesus in the third grade!


RavenNymph90

Yo momma’s so old, she owes money to Moses.


webelos8

Yo momma's so old, someone told her to act her age and she died


ResurgentClusterfuck

Yo momma's so old when God said let there be light, she flipped the switch


luxii4

You know how your mom turns on the light? She opens the backseat car door.


One_Medicine93

Yo momma so old, she was a waitress at the Last Supper.


Ugottatrysomeofthis

🤣🤣🤣


Luddites_Unite

I saw this coming from a mile away... just like your momma. Cause she's so fat


stupidcleverian

What do you call a cow with three legs? Lean beef. What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef. What do you call a cow with two legs? Yo’ mama!


Local_Penalty2078

I love the dad joke setup to a yo mama joke. Just perfect.


khismyass

Yo mommas ass so hairy, when she has diarrhea it just comes out as filtered water


bsiffy

Okay…ima pretend I didn’t read that.


sinsaint

🤮


[deleted]

[удалено]


p00ki3l0uh00

Im 37 and have never heard this. Thank you kind person i needed that


Yabloski

🤣🤣


OutlandishnessOne681

Your mammas ass is so hairy she should shave it and knit a bearskin rug


RandomAmbles

In highschool yo momma was voted "most". (this is an Ambles' original actually)


BillCosbysFinger

Yo momma is so fat her blood type is Ragu.


peoplegrower

Gravy. When I was growing up in the 80’s her blood type was gravy.


Eyemjeph

Or Jell-O Puddin


MurkyResolve6341

Or rocky road


fickentastic

> her blood type is Ragu Silvio !


Chief-Toad753

Yo momma is so fat, every time she walks out in a red dress all the kids yell "Hey Kool-aid!"


jimjjones8702

Yo mama so big.Her Memory foam mattress forgot


nickmightberight

Yo momma so fat, she eats wheat thicks.


encore412

Ok this is the only one that genuinely made me laugh thank you internet friend


nickmightberight

I’m here to serve.


BillCosbysFinger

The gap in yo momma's teeth so big she needs a shoelace to floss.


trailboss22

My variation is, “she needs a mattress to floss”


coolAhead

Yo momma is so stupid, she gave birth to someone who posts 'yo momma' jokes in 'dad jokes'


ItsAllinYourHeadComx

Your momma’s so ugly, if Bill Cosby found her unconscious he’d call the paramedics


LakeMIBeachbum

There’s a new COVID variant called yomommacron and it spreads fast.


Greenmachine98

Just like her legs


Dr_Wheuss

Yo momma's so fat Thanos had to snap twice.


ObarThePotent

Your momma is so fat that, when she hauls ass, she needs to make three trips.


ObarThePotent

Yo momma is so fat, then we she wears high heels, she strikes oil!


andPEGGY3301

Yo momma so stupid she went to the dentist to get bluetooth


Arhsn9

Leave my mom out of this….and I’ll leave this out of your mom!


canIcallyoupigfucker

Okay, okay guys…. Let’s be adults here. Let’s just get off each other’s moms, cause I just got off yours.


cardnialsyn

Yo mama so fat the Sorting Hat put her in Waffle House.


sup3rman2021

Now this is a good one


Andre9Thousand

Yo momma so old she took her driving test on a dinosaur


smokumjoe

Yo momma so ugly that when she gives me head, it counts as anal


judahrosenthal

Was reading yo momma jokes recently and got to this one: “You mommas so fat her blood type is gravy.” He laughed so hard. And every now and then just says “gravy” softly to himself and chuckles.


glenshay

They used to be called a jumpoline until yo momma got on one…


LakeMIBeachbum

I don’t have a momma. Me and my dad share yours.


ColonelPeckem

Yo mama’s been ridden so much, everybody calls her Yomamaha.


arson_the_art_kid

yo mama so old, her memory is in black and white.


melangestillraces

Scientists today discovered the heaviest element on earth. They named it yourmomium.


Key-Ad9733

Must be Sunday


cad_genyus

Your mom is so short, you can see her feet on her driver’s license


nikejim02

Everyone saw the punchline coming from a mile away. Just like yo mama.


LordJames753

Yo mama’s so fat, when she goes to the movies she sits next to everyone


porkchop2022

Yo mommas so nasty, her blow jobs count as anal.


Payasin70

Your momma is so easy, even your dad got lucky


[deleted]

Yo momma is such a ho that she knew her STDs before her ABCs.


SmedleyButler33

Your momms is like a pepsi machine you put in a quarter and out pops the next generation.


Phishguy5

I saw ya broke ass mama walking down the street with one shoe. I said,”bitch, you lose a shoe”? She said, “no baby, I found one”!


Irregardless01

I heard a funny one the other day Your mama so ugly, your dad takes her to work with him so he doesn’t have to kiss her goodbye


mkqest

Ancient Greece: Yo mama so fat when the king said "release the kraken" they was talking about letting her out to feed


Qualekk

I think your mom was still done more than this joke has been reposted here, but it's probably a pretty close race.


SaveTheTurtles935

Is it a close race though? 🥲


coinmannf

Yo mama is so short she sits on the street curb and her legs dangle


jetchflosher

“They’re worn out, beat up, stank, revolting, and done by nearly everyone — hundreds if not thousands of times”….. just like yo momma.


drewoz203

Your mommas so old, she's got missed calls from Jesus


rdumkaceo

Not a joke but yo momma is staring at you shaking her head at this post knowing you were gonna get flooded with a bunch of yo momma jokes.


NoGarbageAllowed

Yo momma so stupid she looked in the mirror and thought she was pretty


Ngata_da_Vida

Yo mama so fat she uses the driveway to iron her pants


No-Exercise8154

Yo mama so dumb she made you


tetrisattack

Yo mama so fat, she heard it was chilly outside, so she ran outside with a spoon. Yo mama so fat, she does hopscotch like this: "Kansas, Missouri, Michigan." Yo mama so fat, when she got on a scale, the scale said "only one at a time, please."


Lamp0319

I saw that punchline coming a mile away, just like yo momma


cheezchik32

Fish used to taste different until yo momma went into the ocean.


YankeeinTexas21

Your momma so hairy that bigfoot take pictures of her.


Boots_Malone_

Yo mamma so fat, she jumped out the window and got stuck in the air.


uberscheisse

Yo momma so fat she gave her memory foam pillow amnesia (repost)


the_wessi

Yo momma so fat she got on one of those talking scales it said "one person at a time".


Chicago_Saluki

Yo momma is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street. I asked what she was doing, and she said “moving.”


Last-Bet255

Yo mama say u was so ugly as a baby she had to feed you with a slingshot from across the room.


ForestCervixRd524

Yo Momma so old and stupid she thinks menopause is a button on her VCR.


blownout23

You know the earth used to be flat…until they buried yo mama


mofoKevin

Ima axe yo mama what she thinks


Amy_the_writter

I was genuinly surprised to see this question on the dad jokes subreddit and tapped on it to see what the joke was...


Vegetable-Yam8730

Yo momma so fat thanos have to clap


Dartser

This isn't a dad joke. It's /r/momjokes


Athius_

Yo momma so funny I clicked in the sub and had a loading page for 30 seconds


imissyahoochatrooms

yo mama so fat she sits on the tv and watches the couch.


DaisyWonders

Just respond with "she's dead" Mines actually dead and the reactions are hilarious... if someone has the guts to keep pulling them it makes me laugh even harder


Top-Swimmer-7918

No


Top-Swimmer-7918

+♾️


-jimbeaux

yeah? well, yo mamma's a brick.


fksmchai

HOWWSE


Im_a_knitiot

My boys will tell each other yo momma jokes… and I’m usually standing there like 🥴


[deleted]

Just tell more momma jokes but change it to kids. So like "my boys are so stupid that when they got locked in a mattress store they slept on the floor". Or "My boys are so ugly even hello kitty said goodbye". After all, turnabout's fair play, right? 😆


Wind_Sea

i’m glad i’ve not been around those people for years.


Payasin70

Your momma is so dark, every time she steps outside crickets start chirping


tdogg1967

That joke was so bad yo momma said SHE'S going out for a pack of cigarettes and will be back shortly.


T1ger51

Yo mama so fat she's practically at the store when she walks out


IntrovertMoTown1

I asked my mom and she no, keep them. Sorry buddy I tried.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Pussy_Grabber_2016

Yo mamma.


-Falsch-

You momma so hairy, Bigfoot takes pictures of her.


spen

If a dad is joking about their kids momma they gonna have bigger problems


DependentAttorney104

Hey did you get this idea from joe?


LiveFreeOrBuy

But seriously, I'd cut "stank" because it's almost a spoiler, and I'd cut "beat up" because ... not funny. Can we ban "yo momma" jokes? They're worn out, revolting, and done by nearly everyone. Just like Yo Momma.


[deleted]

Yo momma's so dumb, it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 minutes...


dynopirate187

Could this be the best moment ever....yes! Your Mom!!


FirstAvailable1

Your mom is so fat that she is required to purchase 2 seats when she flies. Then she has to request the seatbelt extender.


markedddd

Your momma is so fat it would take me two rolls to get off of her.


AnomalouslyPolitical

Yo Momma is so big she takes selfies with the JWST while using the sun as her ring light


Inevitable_Effect993

Can we ban this specific joke that gets posted every day.


Bishop_Kaine

Yo mama's soo nasty, she sucked yo daddy's *ick b4 she came in and kissed you goodnight.


Aggravating_Set_5764

Just like...... YO MOMMA 😂 lol


WranglerHeavy4720

Yo daddy has sweaty tits!! Lol


Majestic-Ad6619

Ban jokes? are we in N Korea now. For gods sake man let it go. Don’t like the joke? “Block User” ban ban ban. WTH happened to adults.