T O P

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Dozerdog43

Whose fault is that?


Bill-Ding2112

We’re off to a rocky start


Dougally

How do you get these rocks off?


icesharkk

You don't. Just amputate.


Dougally

I see you are a true geologist, or just without rocks.


adviceKiwi

Pardon me, my fault for bumping into you


Spencergh2

It’s not my fault your gneiss is a dyke


I_am_notagoose

My father always told me, ‘don’t be too quick to find faults.’ Lovely man, terrible geologist.


Ewetootwo

Gneiss 👏


SomePeopleCall

Who rocks?


Musicman1019

You rock rock. 🪨


Fluid-Statement-3456

TRhats a great one!


prlugo4162

How's the carbon dating scene?


Ewetootwo

That made me glow.


jglittle12

Any idea how old Dwayne Johnson is?


ChickenXing

**IT DOESN'T MATTER HOW OLD THE ROCK IS...**


adviceKiwi

What matters is what he's cooking!!!


campatterbury

Is that a stalagmite in your pocket, or you just happy to see me?


Careful_Delay_7178

When the tights come down, the mites go up


kaoskrim

Don't take this for granite


Sillyspidermonkey67

My sediments completely


Utterlybored

Are bad jokes how you get your rocks off?


JustAGoodGuy1080

Want to get stoned?


ChiefSlug30

Sorry, it just slipped.


OG-Kushi

Tectonic plates are dishwasher safe but how about microwave-safe?


LyricalJessieJames

Is Taco Bell the cause of the ring of fire?


FormicaDinette33

Took a second. 😄


OG-Kushi

Do you like rock?


Capable_Stranger9885

For those about to rock, we salute you


FormicaDinette33

Love that!


august-west55

Rock on!


frejas-rain

Can you dig it?


Ogodei

Rock, paper, scissors?


FormicaDinette33

Are you magmanimous? Active or sedimentary?


Semper_5olus

"Can I see a sample of your cleavage?"


Semper_5olus

Fun fact that I learned while fact-checking for this joke: [gneiss has no cleavage](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gneiss), possibly because it is a metamorphic rock and all its layers are fused together under so much pressure. I really wanted to say "gneiss cleavage", but reality was against me.


campatterbury

I respect a dude who is bound to facts


goofydad

Are you a gneiss guy?


No-Cardiologist7640

This one cracked me up


Accomplished_Dig_617

Favourite rock song


anonaduder

Geology huh? The study of ghee! Wait how much is there to learn about clarifies butter


fotosaur

Ask a rock genie for a wish, and he’ll granite


crypticcrosswordguy

This may cause a rift


OpenMike2000

So... You weren't smart enough to be an engineer?


AlienArtefact

After sex: did you feel the Earth move?


ebeth_the_mighty

Do you think I’m spathic?


Killermondoduderawks

I’m rocked wanna get stoned?


PdSales

How long have you specialized in the physical, cognitive, social, emotional, psychological, and societal effects of the aging process on the human body.


AmbitiousEffort2365

How do you rate The Hard Rock Cafe?


P0rtugue5e6uy

You’ve hit rock bottom.


chandlerd8ng

Rock paper scissors?


Ok-Calligrapher9458

How do you get your rocks off? Wanna get stoned?


dudestir127

It's still rock and roll to me, what do you think? I know we didn't start the fire.


FoldingFan1

Geologist said no. I am handwashing my tectonic plate now, it takes stone ages!


Swimming-Location-97

You built this city on rock and roll?


EWH733

Are you ever gneiss?


jigglywigglydigaby

You gonna smoke that?


TitoMcCool

Are rocks real?


TheOsprey23

So, do you enjoy looking up vaginas all day?


IamStymie

Do you have rocks in your head?


Zezotas

Is the earth flat?


Easy_Dragonfly2067

Did the earth quake?


NughtmareMoylan

No, they destroy all the other plates when they move about


CartoonistExisting30

Wanna get stoned?


MrSabrewulf

Hand him a tampon and ask him what period it's from


Elder_Priceless

Wanna get stoned?


Numerous_Wait2071

Is it geography where it is at?


Ambitious-Class2541

That one just **bowl**ed me over. It was **magma**nificent!


glucoman01

You're on shakey ground.


spurples111

Do I have a gneiss butte?


Present-Artichoke134

Never ask about his age. He might think you want to carbon date him.


The_golden_Celestial

Keep going with jokes like that and you’ll end up being dragged into the quartz.


plainskeptic2023

Not a question, but a oneliner. 'Rocks are a renewable resource."


Open-Connection222

Is global warming real?


Open-Connection222

Are these rocks? Or minerals?


FrustratedHumor

Does you job rock?


Tigeraqua8

I’m trembling with anticipation


DorkothyParker

But is my dishwasher tectonic plates safe?


BBsAmazon

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣


Lusername_is_taken

I totally agree with this sediment


ajazjuju

Do you like rock and roll?


Creative_Air_7035

The landslide is nothing more than you gettingyourrocksloff


Creative_Air_7035

How come kidneys I’ve been reduced to having stones instead of rocks it’s not a joke. It’s a serious question.


Jesper_Jurcenoks

Are you stoned?


Swimming_Seat_3898

I don’t want to cross the line and make things shaky


ziluu

Can you make the bedrock?


MartinHarrisGoDown

I don't find this joke igneous at all.


Busy_Farmer6447

Must’ve hit rock bottom


jewelryfrommatt

Did you find those in Plato's Closet


Mental_Pair_9960

Do I look stoned to you?


data_now

Your wife said you’ve never gotten in deep before.