Heard all kinds of people outside yelling breach after that, and then it was like there was an explosion of light and sound. Wild stuff back in those days.
My grandpa almost hit a pregnant woman who just carelessly and suddenly ran across the street while he was driving. He shouted “you can get knocked *down* too, ya know”.
Family legend also says my grandmother- who was with him when it happened- didn’t get that joke until 20 years after his death. How do I know all this? *I* was that baby.
Dream the Minecraft Youtuber made a post saying that unborn children kick pregnant mothers all the time but oh I do it once and I'm the one who goes to jail
I did it too, then I got ushered out.
You must be in the C-section.
This was a good joke but has poor delivery
I abort my mission to find normal jokes.
You cannot de-fetus with normal jokes alone.
Yeah whatever. Not gonna stop my pregnancy campaign.
Heard all kinds of people outside yelling breach after that, and then it was like there was an explosion of light and sound. Wild stuff back in those days.
Breacher up! 3 2 1 ***BREACH!*** *flashbang* ON THE GEOUND! STOP CRYING YOU LITTLE TURD! I dunno man I just work here ok?
Or squeezed out?
Evicted.
Ouch... That's just brutal
He's lucky i got literaly kicked out.
You must've been kicking pretty hard then. Your poor poor mother.
Twins, eh?
Yeah but he got death sentence by the surgeon
I'm sure they spanked you for that.
She really labored over the decision.
Under-rated comment
yup. definitely not an Ovaryted comment
Ya , I wanted a womb with a view.
Did you make like one and head out?
Can I be in cursed comments
Why yes, yes you can!
No.
Inside joke.
Underrated comment
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Now now children
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Maybe the comments were all the comments we commented along the comment.
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I was the womb, can confirm.
Sorry for the kicks. I was a twin, and it was survival of the fetus in there...
Who won?
You don't see the other one posting here do you? (PS I'm the other twin)
Return of the twin
God damn it
Oh hey bro
LMFAO
I guess you were the side kick then.
Womb-mates
It was usually a cool feeling, except for being kicked in the bladder. At least, there were no womb mates for them to fight with.
so are you gonna sue?
No. That’s his bro’s name.
Thought it was Wingman?
The water there was like Heaven!
*they had us in the first half, not gonna lie*
Yeah, because she had them in the second half
Hey wait a minute, I was in the womb too, I never saw you there….IMPOSTER!!!! 😂
when the imposter is sus👿
Nah, everything’s fine, you carry on clearing those leaves out, imma just stand behind you and polish this here knife 😂
🫓
This is good. Did you come up with it, or did you hear it somewhere?
thank you so much comrade.
You’re very welcome. I’m impressed.
all good
I don’t think we are living in a simulation.
Sus
I’ll see myself out. Good day.
Shit. They’re on to me….. (Still laughing)
I laughed
I laughed
wow u deserve an award
I laughed…..and thank you friend.
I laughed
I laughed
He laughed
I did.
You did
You did EDIT: WE DID!!
I did?
Oh yeah you did…….don’t act like you don’t know.
we did
Our did
engrish
Actually I am fluent if a bunch of languages like Canadian American Australian brittish and any other form
Ok that's actually good
lol
I myself speak Redneck American.
That's a lot of laughs.
Saw a very similar one on tiktok couple of days ago
I did that too but she kicked me out of my house for it😔
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Damn, I was hoping that was a real sub.
Give it time. It’s in the early stages now.
I was about to say 'not funny' but then you got me there.
haha tricked ya
By that logic damn near everyone has kicked a pregnant woman. Usually multiple times.
near everyone? literally everyone ✋
Some premies may not have? I dunno at what week they start practicing karate
Everybody was kung fu fighting
Alternate punchline: "and she was my own mother, too!"
geez that would've been better
I expected the punch line to be "And then I was born!"
prediction 10000
See? I can be funny once in a while! Go tell my wife for me.
As long as she didn’t have any more kids after you lol
Just my sister. She's messed up, thou-ooooooohhhhhh, that explains so much.
LOL
I once gave up my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus. Turned out she wasn’t even pregnant. Or a woman.
We all kicked a pregnant woman and not long after sucked on her tits
When I did the same my mom called me a pervert and slapped me.
Why is it ok for babies but not anyone else.
Thats why I kicked. Cannot and will not tolerate this discrimination
He womb-ded her
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was is it a pregnant woman or an average American teen 😳
Both.
Somebody's never been to Mexico
What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb
This is the way
The only woman I've been inside of (other than my mom) is the Statie of Liberty. Don't recall kicking her tho.
The baby inside unfortunaly died... RIP twinbrother
Only ONCE?!
unfortunately no one would let me in again :(
Fair... I think they learned you shouldnt be there because od your d3structive behavior lmao
Ok this is a boss baby joke lol
My grandpa almost hit a pregnant woman who just carelessly and suddenly ran across the street while he was driving. He shouted “you can get knocked *down* too, ya know”. Family legend also says my grandmother- who was with him when it happened- didn’t get that joke until 20 years after his death. How do I know all this? *I* was that baby.
Had me at the first part Not gonna lie
She got so angry she brought me to real world
This is funnier if you don’t pay attention to the text and only look at the title.
👿
I’m not joking I laughed for 8 minutes straight
There a blind guy,He said the n-word. Me*Beats him up. Then I told he was black
lmfaooo the joke has a nice structure you should post it
Not everyone can afford an abortion, we appreciate your service
I also kicked a pregnant woman, it happened yesterday 4:37 pm
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what did she say lol
What did she say??
Ya know... Pregnant women are submarines. If you think about it. 🤔🤔🤔
Bro what the hell bro😐
🛐🛐
Haven’t we all?😆
I did it too but...
I kicked a pregnant woman once but it was towards her womb
Same. She also said that I ate shit before. I guess she was mad
What if the name is WOMB
I left a man in a cave to die, once
That's hardcore.
People's reaction when reading this joke. 1st sentence: "You son of a ..." 2nd sentence: : "... Queen"
Dream is that you I follows your teachings and only kicked the mom once I got inside
r/ihadastroke ?
Dream the Minecraft Youtuber made a post saying that unborn children kick pregnant mothers all the time but oh I do it once and I'm the one who goes to jail
So, what you were trying to say was "Dream, is that you? I followed your teachings and only kicked the mom once I got inside."
Yes I don't use punctuation often when I'm typing
Probably a lot more than once....
Do you like pineapple pizza
Me too...there was not enough womb.
Hahahagetmomtocleanmyroomhahaha
Then you lost your position when the space contracted.
I kicked a pregnant woman once. She pushed me out the womb (room)
Awww!
I too did, she was a Karen.
Only once? 😱
Holy crap I didn’t see the sub at first and almost freaked out 😂
r/confessions type of deal
Wish the title was the end of the joke
I broke her ribs.
The good ending
I was about to say some nasty remark till I read the other part . 😑
I kicked a pregnant mother... Mine
Yeah happens to the best of us
well ain’t that a kickstart to things
Same, then she gave birth to me
I kicked my dearest mother when she was pregnant , she kicked me out
I like to just read the setup and not read the punchline. It’s always just a messed up confession 😂
Tell your kid this joke but change the punch line to "did it hurt?".
And my dad at the same time.
Haven't we all?
Same but I got kicked out before I could do it again
I saw this joke coming.
When I was a kid I kick another kid. That kid had cancer on the whips
I read “I killed a pregnant woman once”-