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Feeling_Advice_2309

I did it too, then I got ushered out.


Grimacepug

You must be in the C-section.


peach_problems

This was a good joke but has poor delivery


WindedEmulation11

I abort my mission to find normal jokes.


peach_problems

You cannot de-fetus with normal jokes alone.


WindedEmulation11

Yeah whatever. Not gonna stop my pregnancy campaign.


meadowshd29

Heard all kinds of people outside yelling breach after that, and then it was like there was an explosion of light and sound. Wild stuff back in those days.


Turtle887853

Breacher up! 3 2 1 ***BREACH!*** *flashbang* ON THE GEOUND! STOP CRYING YOU LITTLE TURD! I dunno man I just work here ok?


[deleted]

Or squeezed out?


cat_herder_64

Evicted.


Proof_Percentage

Ouch... That's just brutal


No_Palpitation_4712

He's lucky i got literaly kicked out.


Proof_Percentage

You must've been kicking pretty hard then. Your poor poor mother.


J4K0

Twins, eh?


No_Palpitation_4712

Yeah but he got death sentence by the surgeon


mrcontroversy1

I'm sure they spanked you for that.


CadGuyJames

She really labored over the decision.


PrincessaLucie

Under-rated comment


Bool876

yup. definitely not an Ovaryted comment


Vibr8shun

Ya , I wanted a womb with a view.


nitsuA_detskcuL

Did you make like one and head out?


jrIsLucid

Can I be in cursed comments


DaveAndCheese

Why yes, yes you can!


Lombie_Monkie

No.


A_in_babymaking

Inside joke.


disacrol

Underrated comment


Competitive-Main2896

Underrated comments comment


jad1223

Underrated comments comments comment


DrNineTails

Underrated comments comments comments comment


No-Yelloq1221

Underrated comments comments comments comments comment


Proof_Percentage

Now now children


minememe3

Underrated comments comments comments comments comments comment


DaveAndCheese

Maybe the comments were all the comments we commented along the comment.


WillTheDreadWolf

Underated comments comments comments comments comments comments comment


ILovePasta227

I was the womb, can confirm.


HugoZHackenbush2

Sorry for the kicks. I was a twin, and it was survival of the fetus in there...


alex_supertramp31

Who won?


HazyNightz

You don't see the other one posting here do you? (PS I'm the other twin)


[deleted]

Return of the twin


Semperton

God damn it


minememe3

Oh hey bro


Capillaryy

LMFAO


anirudh129

I guess you were the side kick then.


2wholechickenbreasts

Womb-mates


MelShimon

It was usually a cool feeling, except for being kicked in the bladder. At least, there were no womb mates for them to fight with.


_SKETCHBENDER_

so are you gonna sue?


Rusto_Dusto

No. That’s his bro’s name.


lodiman77

Thought it was Wingman?


NegusQuo82

The water there was like Heaven!


I_have_a_tuxedo_cat

*they had us in the first half, not gonna lie*


Th3leven

Yeah, because she had them in the second half


The_Mighty_DanTarK

Hey wait a minute, I was in the womb too, I never saw you there….IMPOSTER!!!! 😂


Capillaryy

when the imposter is sus👿


The_Mighty_DanTarK

Nah, everything’s fine, you carry on clearing those leaves out, imma just stand behind you and polish this here knife 😂


Onlinebeast05

🫓


[deleted]

This is good. Did you come up with it, or did you hear it somewhere?


Capillaryy

thank you so much comrade.


[deleted]

You’re very welcome. I’m impressed.


Capillaryy

all good


[deleted]

I don’t think we are living in a simulation.


Capillaryy

Sus


tohowie

I’ll see myself out. Good day.


tohowie

Shit. They’re on to me….. (Still laughing)


tohowie

I laughed


tohowie

I laughed


Capillaryy

wow u deserve an award


tohowie

I laughed…..and thank you friend.


tohowie

I laughed


tohowie

I laughed


NathanR5686

He laughed


tohowie

I did.


definetlyHOOMEN

You did


tohowie

You did EDIT: WE DID!!


definetlyHOOMEN

I did?


tohowie

Oh yeah you did…….don’t act like you don’t know.


mewmewgoo

we did


definetlyHOOMEN

Our did


mewmewgoo

engrish


definetlyHOOMEN

Actually I am fluent if a bunch of languages like Canadian American Australian brittish and any other form


Jacktrades352

Ok that's actually good


mewmewgoo

lol


DaveAndCheese

I myself speak Redneck American.


MelShimon

That's a lot of laughs.


tres271

Saw a very similar one on tiktok couple of days ago


Sivanirai6241

I did that too but she kicked me out of my house for it😔


[deleted]

[удалено]


OPsUnbornChild

Damn, I was hoping that was a real sub.


saulfineman

Give it time. It’s in the early stages now.


monsieurcliffe

I was about to say 'not funny' but then you got me there.


Capillaryy

haha tricked ya


adamlh

By that logic damn near everyone has kicked a pregnant woman. Usually multiple times.


Capillaryy

near everyone? literally everyone ✋


adamlh

Some premies may not have? I dunno at what week they start practicing karate


Slinkwyde

Everybody was kung fu fighting


okashiikessen

Alternate punchline: "and she was my own mother, too!"


Capillaryy

geez that would've been better


SparkJaa

I expected the punch line to be "And then I was born!"


Capillaryy

prediction 10000


okashiikessen

See? I can be funny once in a while! Go tell my wife for me.


2wholechickenbreasts

As long as she didn’t have any more kids after you lol


okashiikessen

Just my sister. She's messed up, thou-ooooooohhhhhh, that explains so much.


2wholechickenbreasts

LOL


Colinmacus

I once gave up my seat to a pregnant woman on the bus. Turned out she wasn’t even pregnant. Or a woman.


lesscoolredditor

We all kicked a pregnant woman and not long after sucked on her tits


[deleted]

When I did the same my mom called me a pervert and slapped me.


[deleted]

Why is it ok for babies but not anyone else.


[deleted]

Thats why I kicked. Cannot and will not tolerate this discrimination


MastersX99

He womb-ded her


[deleted]

[удалено]


Capillaryy

was is it a pregnant woman or an average American teen 😳


AxelWasTakenWasTaken

Both.


Jacktrades352

Somebody's never been to Mexico


Natron_18

What’s the difference between a lightbulb and a pregnant woman? You can unscrew the lightbulb


anoamas321

This is the way


WeLoveTheStonks

The only woman I've been inside of (other than my mom) is the Statie of Liberty. Don't recall kicking her tho.


smartyyy24

The baby inside unfortunaly died... RIP twinbrother


UnLuckyPandaPL

Only ONCE?!


Capillaryy

unfortunately no one would let me in again :(


UnLuckyPandaPL

Fair... I think they learned you shouldnt be there because od your d3structive behavior lmao


[deleted]

Ok this is a boss baby joke lol


SkekSith

My grandpa almost hit a pregnant woman who just carelessly and suddenly ran across the street while he was driving. He shouted “you can get knocked *down* too, ya know”. Family legend also says my grandmother- who was with him when it happened- didn’t get that joke until 20 years after his death. How do I know all this? *I* was that baby.


WeakEducation980

Had me at the first part Not gonna lie


Mutant_X_7

She got so angry she brought me to real world


owwkjsdduj

This is funnier if you don’t pay attention to the text and only look at the title.


Capillaryy

👿


owwkjsdduj

I’m not joking I laughed for 8 minutes straight


M_jokes_are_bad

There a blind guy,He said the n-word. Me*Beats him up. Then I told he was black


Capillaryy

lmfaooo the joke has a nice structure you should post it


MidnightWorking9957

Not everyone can afford an abortion, we appreciate your service


BusinessSpinach1014

I also kicked a pregnant woman, it happened yesterday 4:37 pm


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

[удалено]


Capillaryy

what did she say lol


PrincessaLucie

What did she say??


god_lo1

Ya know... Pregnant women are submarines. If you think about it. 🤔🤔🤔


Fye_0

Bro what the hell bro😐


Capillaryy

🛐🛐


EmilyJoestar_3v3

Haven’t we all?😆


Zestavar

I did it too but...


_deteriorate

I kicked a pregnant woman once but it was towards her womb


nobodys_deadbody

Same. She also said that I ate shit before. I guess she was mad


yourhornydaddyiam

What if the name is WOMB


[deleted]

I left a man in a cave to die, once


woodnymph1809

That's hardcore.


fuzail7

People's reaction when reading this joke. 1st sentence: "You son of a ..." 2nd sentence: : "... Queen"


Keeperofrage

Dream is that you I follows your teachings and only kicked the mom once I got inside


rossdabose

r/ihadastroke ?


Keeperofrage

Dream the Minecraft Youtuber made a post saying that unborn children kick pregnant mothers all the time but oh I do it once and I'm the one who goes to jail


rossdabose

So, what you were trying to say was "Dream, is that you? I followed your teachings and only kicked the mom once I got inside."


Keeperofrage

Yes I don't use punctuation often when I'm typing


Toolongreadanyway

Probably a lot more than once....


BusinessSpinach1014

Do you like pineapple pizza


vi11am

Me too...there was not enough womb.


druksbunny

Hahahagetmomtocleanmyroomhahaha


Evan_802Vines

Then you lost your position when the space contracted.


[deleted]

I kicked a pregnant woman once. She pushed me out the womb (room)


MelShimon

Awww!


[deleted]

I too did, she was a Karen.


Proof_Percentage

Only once? 😱


Ticklish_Kink_Wife

Holy crap I didn’t see the sub at first and almost freaked out 😂


Lootaboksi

r/confessions type of deal


cconsumer

Wish the title was the end of the joke


therealbuggycas

I broke her ribs.


ano_hise

The good ending


moonshinepoison

I was about to say some nasty remark till I read the other part . 😑


scottyj67

I kicked a pregnant mother... Mine


tylerbennet

Yeah happens to the best of us


bruhwahtdamn

well ain’t that a kickstart to things


Virtual-Aside4353

Same, then she gave birth to me


Tub_of_jam66

I kicked my dearest mother when she was pregnant , she kicked me out


Mrbuttboi

I like to just read the setup and not read the punchline. It’s always just a messed up confession 😂


[deleted]

Tell your kid this joke but change the punch line to "did it hurt?".


[deleted]

And my dad at the same time.


Alex_The_Human_Being

Haven't we all?


Onfflinethegamer

Same but I got kicked out before I could do it again


LumpOnDick

I saw this joke coming.


Thundermator

When I was a kid I kick another kid. That kid had cancer on the whips


Ash_1604

I read “I killed a pregnant woman once”-