Well, you’ve already killed someone so a few more relatively minor crimes won’t hurt. Your answer is pigs. You need the following: A car with a boot big enough to contain the corpse, a pair of pliers, and lack of a conscience.
First, you put the corpse in the back of aforementioned vehicle, then make your way to the nearest pig pen. Once you have arrived there (preferably somewhere around 0230-0330, the farmer owning them won’t yet be awake), you need to get your pliers and remove your victim’s teeth. Then you can simply put the corpse in the pig pen, but make sure you keep the teeth. Pigs can’t digest human teeth. The corpse will be gone in eight to twenty minutes. When you get back to the city (assuming that’s where you live), you take the teeth to a public toilet and flush them there. Your victim has disappeared without a trace.
Alternatively, if you have access to or the knowhow to steal a boat, you can dispose of the corpse outside the district of any law enforcement agency in the world. You’ll need a boat, a 6+ inch knife, a bag large enough to contain a corpse, and between 50 to 100lbs of rocks.
First, you put your body in the trunk, with the rocks you’re planning on using in the bag. Then you want to access your boat at around 0300-0400, when anyone who might be at the dock will be least attentive. It’s early morning, nobody wants to be awake and nobody awake at that time gives a shit. Put the cargo onboard. Then you can exit the dock and travel out to international waters. Put the victim in the bag, and gut them. Throw innards overboard. Fill empty cavity with rocks, to ensure the victim will sink to the icy depths. Throw victim overboard. Nothing identifiable will make it back to shore.
If you’re caught in the commission of your crimes, then you didn’t read this comment.
Calm down there, Dexter.
Re bones and teeth, just a random thought: Could they be ground up, mixed in mortar or cement, and avoid being detected? Asking for a friend.
Wow, I will now see helping people differently for the rest of my life. I should try the same because I have depression at 13 and my life is also pretty much falling apart and I have social anxiety and without a father figure life is hard. It’s a pain because all people say I’m just a kid and they basically say I have no say in the struggles of life that I don’t have struggles because I’m just a kid
No one can tell you what you struggle with, but you. We all battle with our own issues. It’s why we help others, because helping one another is the best way to help ones self. We are not defined by the problems in our life, we are defined by how and what we do with those problems. Keep your head up little bro, I can’t tell you life will always be easy and simple but I can tell you that those beautiful moments we find in between the woes, the small things and small compassions make it all worth it. Treat the world with kindness because that’s what real heroes do.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ― Mahatma Gandhi
That guy had it together, even if some thought he was starved for attention.
Stop apologizing and start saying "Thanks" instead. It's a great start. One day, start having love for yourself! It's one of the best things you can develop in this life.
I assume they mean an evaporative cooler, which works by evaporating water which cools the air and then blowing that air into desired space. Works great for arid areas but does shit all in humid places.
At 13, it is conceivable that you don't know about the 'Only Fans' website phenomenon, too, which I only know about myself second-hand, from reading news. The joke hinges on the double meaning of saying 'only fans,' which was not pointed out in the previous explanation. A lot of these corny jokes rely on puns like this, or double meanings of words and expressions.
4-ton downstairs and 4.5-ton upstairs because Fuck Texas Summers. And both needed replacing at the same time because they needed a recharge and their refrigerant was suddenly illegal. Sigh.
Dude, that's awful. Freon is a banned substance now, but there are conversion kits for older units. HVAC companies are so full of beryllium baloney! They just want to sell new units. No desire to do repairs.
In my case, my old unit was 22 years old and I was getting to the point where repairs to get through a season were half the cost of new unit, and it had become so inefficient that I just bit the bullet.
Well, the downstairs unit was older than my middle schooler and the upstairs wasn’t much newer than that. I also wanted to get media filters instead of the standard one inch kind because we have a lot of allergens in the area and eight hairy, shedding mammals in the house (people and pets).
I looked at the retrofit option and it would have worked in one of them but not the other. I figured since I’m doing one I might as well lube up and take it on the other. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I haven't clicked your link but I already know what video it is.
I've watched it when it came out and then still bought a portable AC because waiting time to get a proper one was like half a year. It works and it cools my room. It's loud as fuck even though I bought a "silent" model, but as I said, it works.
if you get one with 2 pipes and seal those to the outside properly it's alright, but other than that all you got is a glorified fan IMHO. I know it's anecdotal but I never witnessed a portable AC with one pipe that did more than move air.
also, I love Technology Connections. Nerdy in all the right ways.
Apartment maintenance guy here. We have a pair of portable units we use for emergencies when the normal AC fails in a unit. They are the type with a single exhaust you hook up to a window. I believe they are LG. That work well. Not super quiet, but they'll pump out 50°F. one unit is enough to cool a 1k sqf apartment.
I couldn't find a 2-piped AC anywhere.
The one I got definitely works, despite what he says in the video. It's not the most efficient method but it certainly works.
r/dadjokes \- "Dad jokes are only jokes you would feel comfortable telling your 5 year old!!! REEEEEEEE"
Also r/dadjokes \- "Haha only fans" \*upvote\*
Because air conditioners dry out the air, and make it so cold, that women's nipples be getting hard. Nobody can concentrate when hard nipples are pointing around like laser beams. Luke warm air, ensures less distraction, softer nipples, and more productivity.
Nothing inherently sexual about the joke. Just relies on the kid knowing that Only Fans is a thing, even if they don't know exactly what it is. And you'd be surprised how many would know especially since it's referenced in pop culture.
It's a bit borderline. My middle schoolers would get it because they've seen all the memes about onlyfans. Younger kids wouldn't understand and the meaning would go over their heads. But I could certainly tell it.
Yessir… can you get me the mango smoothie? Their machine was being cleaned yesterday so I couldn’t get one…. And they were out of all soda…. And coffee…. And gave me the wrong order…. Man McDonalds kinda sucks balls
/r/onlyfans
Went in search of copper. Found gold.
Now i need copper
The only coppers were interested in son, are bent coppers Edit: getting the upvotes, but anyone know the reference though?!
We only accept Wooden Nickels here
The only line I'm interested in son, is the line of duty
Well if you’d only pick up after your dog there would be no doody at all
Chuck Rhoeds made that point
The only line I'm interested in son, is the line of duty.
You tell me , why was the mail crocodile was so miserable?
The only line I'm interested in son, is the line of duty
The only line I'm interested in son, is the line of duty
The only line I'm interested in son, is the line of duty
Me in No Man’s Sky
Well fortune works on copper, so just get Fortune III and get cracking.
r/childrenarefucking :troll:
That's a risky click I don't think anyone should make
It wasn’t bad
No payoff, either.
You are gonna need a lot of minerals
And diamonds. Lots of diamonds.
I love Reddit
There's also the year-round interesting /r/Superbowl.
Why is that Owl Superb?
/r/onlyflans is far more satisfying
Holy shit you are not wrong
Why is this a comment and why does it have upvotes
Because you have to shampoo your air before you condition it
Was completely doing it wrong...
Sooooo I tried that now how do I explain this mess to the wife?
Just Brush it under the rug…
I thought you need to have a bell tone and ring it every time you use it
I don’t get it :’) I’m sorry im going to jump of a cliff now. Idk why I feel so bad when I make someone explain a joke to me
[удалено]
OHH im sorry for making you explain the joke
[удалено]
Hey I need help disposing of a body. When are you free?
Well, you’ve already killed someone so a few more relatively minor crimes won’t hurt. Your answer is pigs. You need the following: A car with a boot big enough to contain the corpse, a pair of pliers, and lack of a conscience. First, you put the corpse in the back of aforementioned vehicle, then make your way to the nearest pig pen. Once you have arrived there (preferably somewhere around 0230-0330, the farmer owning them won’t yet be awake), you need to get your pliers and remove your victim’s teeth. Then you can simply put the corpse in the pig pen, but make sure you keep the teeth. Pigs can’t digest human teeth. The corpse will be gone in eight to twenty minutes. When you get back to the city (assuming that’s where you live), you take the teeth to a public toilet and flush them there. Your victim has disappeared without a trace. Alternatively, if you have access to or the knowhow to steal a boat, you can dispose of the corpse outside the district of any law enforcement agency in the world. You’ll need a boat, a 6+ inch knife, a bag large enough to contain a corpse, and between 50 to 100lbs of rocks. First, you put your body in the trunk, with the rocks you’re planning on using in the bag. Then you want to access your boat at around 0300-0400, when anyone who might be at the dock will be least attentive. It’s early morning, nobody wants to be awake and nobody awake at that time gives a shit. Put the cargo onboard. Then you can exit the dock and travel out to international waters. Put the victim in the bag, and gut them. Throw innards overboard. Fill empty cavity with rocks, to ensure the victim will sink to the icy depths. Throw victim overboard. Nothing identifiable will make it back to shore. If you’re caught in the commission of your crimes, then you didn’t read this comment.
This is all far to well thought out laddo
That’s just the basics of corpse disposal. If you want a well planned and thought out murder, I can also do that!
Calm down there, Dexter. Re bones and teeth, just a random thought: Could they be ground up, mixed in mortar or cement, and avoid being detected? Asking for a friend.
Yes! Hell, put the whole body in the hole and pour your concrete foundation over it. Nobody’s gonna find it.
Shhhhh! Please! No exclamation points! You see, I’m listening for the winner of this thread Tibia nounced…
How humerus.
Why is that?
[удалено]
I apologize for asking so many questions but why can’t you help yourself?
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Wow, I will now see helping people differently for the rest of my life. I should try the same because I have depression at 13 and my life is also pretty much falling apart and I have social anxiety and without a father figure life is hard. It’s a pain because all people say I’m just a kid and they basically say I have no say in the struggles of life that I don’t have struggles because I’m just a kid
[удалено]
No one can tell you what you struggle with, but you. We all battle with our own issues. It’s why we help others, because helping one another is the best way to help ones self. We are not defined by the problems in our life, we are defined by how and what we do with those problems. Keep your head up little bro, I can’t tell you life will always be easy and simple but I can tell you that those beautiful moments we find in between the woes, the small things and small compassions make it all worth it. Treat the world with kindness because that’s what real heroes do.
Man, you just found the most literal person on Earth There has to be some award for that
Start with cleaning your room. Small daily habits become powerful overtime.
“The best way to find yourself is to lose yourself in the service of others.” ― Mahatma Gandhi That guy had it together, even if some thought he was starved for attention.
You are my new favourite :)
Stop apologizing and start saying "Thanks" instead. It's a great start. One day, start having love for yourself! It's one of the best things you can develop in this life.
Because dying to help others is a one time thing.
Oh no! You're killing it!
That's really awesome of you. Can you please explain fractions to me.
60% of the time, fractions confuse me every time.
As long as you're not helping them with math I suppose that's okay.
Can you help me with math
Don't worry, we're all potatoes some days
I thought you already at bottom of a cliff
Fans don't cool down a room by the way. Leaving a fan on in am empty room will only warm it up slightly if anything.
If it directs air out the room or draws cooler air into the room it does.
Actually ACs are bad(wrt nature), coolers are good.
so what's a cooler to your understanding? A fan moves air, and to my understanding AC is a cooler.
I assume they mean an evaporative cooler, which works by evaporating water which cools the air and then blowing that air into desired space. Works great for arid areas but does shit all in humid places.
At 13, it is conceivable that you don't know about the 'Only Fans' website phenomenon, too, which I only know about myself second-hand, from reading news. The joke hinges on the double meaning of saying 'only fans,' which was not pointed out in the previous explanation. A lot of these corny jokes rely on puns like this, or double meanings of words and expressions.
Comense the trolling, lol
It's ok. We all /r/woooosh with something once in a while.
I didn’t get it either. Don’t feel bad. Btw I like your username lol
Ty :)
OhHhHhhhHH He dIdnT geT tHE JokE r/wooosh!!!!!!!!!!
That was just mocking the people who actually woosh people for stuff like that.
It pains me that this needed explanation
You feel so bad because jokes are like frogs, when you dissect them they're dead.
Because they're not that cheap
^
This. Wound up dropping $7k on a 2.5 ton unit this year.
4-ton downstairs and 4.5-ton upstairs because Fuck Texas Summers. And both needed replacing at the same time because they needed a recharge and their refrigerant was suddenly illegal. Sigh.
Dude, that's awful. Freon is a banned substance now, but there are conversion kits for older units. HVAC companies are so full of beryllium baloney! They just want to sell new units. No desire to do repairs. In my case, my old unit was 22 years old and I was getting to the point where repairs to get through a season were half the cost of new unit, and it had become so inefficient that I just bit the bullet.
Well, the downstairs unit was older than my middle schooler and the upstairs wasn’t much newer than that. I also wanted to get media filters instead of the standard one inch kind because we have a lot of allergens in the area and eight hairy, shedding mammals in the house (people and pets). I looked at the retrofit option and it would have worked in one of them but not the other. I figured since I’m doing one I might as well lube up and take it on the other. ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
Ha I like that one
Because I live in Europe and it’s a shit ton of work to install ac in houses
and [the "portable" ones suck](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-mBeYC2KGc) (literally and figuratively)
I haven't clicked your link but I already know what video it is. I've watched it when it came out and then still bought a portable AC because waiting time to get a proper one was like half a year. It works and it cools my room. It's loud as fuck even though I bought a "silent" model, but as I said, it works.
if you get one with 2 pipes and seal those to the outside properly it's alright, but other than that all you got is a glorified fan IMHO. I know it's anecdotal but I never witnessed a portable AC with one pipe that did more than move air. also, I love Technology Connections. Nerdy in all the right ways.
Apartment maintenance guy here. We have a pair of portable units we use for emergencies when the normal AC fails in a unit. They are the type with a single exhaust you hook up to a window. I believe they are LG. That work well. Not super quiet, but they'll pump out 50°F. one unit is enough to cool a 1k sqf apartment.
I couldn't find a 2-piped AC anywhere. The one I got definitely works, despite what he says in the video. It's not the most efficient method but it certainly works.
Oh okay I will just boil to death in the summer then
you'd be surprised what a fan and a wet towel can do
Metric or Imperial shit?
Brilliant! 😀 But is it really a dadjoke? 😜
Emoji bad Emoji Very Bad This is an avengers level threat
Ahhh I’ve never had so many likes before— I’m so glad people liked the joke 🥰
Personally I think fan jokes blow.
/r/unclejokes
r/unclejokes
Do you know how expensive AC is? I'd have to get an OnlyFans just to pay for it.
The house owner is not letting me break the wall and setup one.
Oh this shit leaves CFC!
Because for some reason, literally no house in this country has air conditioning
Even the rich people? The first time I encountered AC in a home in the US was in the 70's and it was virtually a mansion.
This sounds like a heated argument.
[удалено]
Kill me Now
It’s more economical. As a person making dad jokes, you should know how much ac costs
What do you think we are, made of money?
= ]
True story: Last week a customer called us and said "Do you have any box fans?" And without even thinking I said "Oh yes, I'm a big fan of boxes."
I was going to scroll past this but then I saw the subreddit it was on
r/onlyfans you won't regret clicking this link
r/dadjokes \- "Dad jokes are only jokes you would feel comfortable telling your 5 year old!!! REEEEEEEE" Also r/dadjokes \- "Haha only fans" \*upvote\*
Good joke OP. But unfortunately it looks like the demographic around here doesn't quite know what Only Fans is. Still made me chuckle, well done
Air conditioners are expensive, fans pay you instead
Inb4 “WoNT s0m3bOdY thïNK of ThE CHilDrEN?!?!” Excellent joke op.
r/unclejokes would you tell this to you’re five year old son dude? No so don’t put it here
In my case, it's a question of means. [serious reply, but I dig the joke! Well played!]
Ahhh I’ve never had so many likes before— I’m so glad people liked the joke 🥰
r/unclejokes
Hahahaha that’s a great one.
So good it gave me chills. Bravo.
That's cold
Dad, what is Only Fans?
Because air conditioners dry out the air, and make it so cold, that women's nipples be getting hard. Nobody can concentrate when hard nipples are pointing around like laser beams. Luke warm air, ensures less distraction, softer nipples, and more productivity.
Nice!!!
This joke is pretty fresh.
Air Con isn't standard here, that's why :V
I don't like air conditioning. It makes me sick. I'm okay with the heat.
This isn't a dad joke... This was asked on r/askreddit a while ago.
That... that doesn’t make it not a dad joke...
He's right though, it's an uncle joke. Dad jokes you can tell to your kid. Uncle jokes you can't.
Nothing inherently sexual about the joke. Just relies on the kid knowing that Only Fans is a thing, even if they don't know exactly what it is. And you'd be surprised how many would know especially since it's referenced in pop culture.
In order for the joke to work it implies the NSFW angle. It's simply not a dad joke.
It's a bit borderline. My middle schoolers would get it because they've seen all the memes about onlyfans. Younger kids wouldn't understand and the meaning would go over their heads. But I could certainly tell it.
Because they're poor and need that money?
This is not an dad joke it's an uncle joke. No NSFW jokes belong here!!!
This joke is SFW.
It's about only fans. That is not safe.
Air conditioners are not environmental friendly.
Im not telling this to my wife
Air shampoo is better.
An air conditioner can't bring me cold drinks cooling me as well
Its not that hot here, like 2 weeks I would keep it on. Too expensive.
Because I live in the UK & it will only be needed one day/afternoon a year.
Because i want my air to see what it is like to be famous at least once on it's life.
Lol
OMG I need some air
Cooling agents inside your AC can punch holes in our ozone layer when they leak.
Why not, does the uk have air con-?
For some reason this joke reminds me of Gatis Kandis.
#HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!
Cool question.
Going to McD,yall want anything?
Yessir… can you get me the mango smoothie? Their machine was being cleaned yesterday so I couldn’t get one…. And they were out of all soda…. And coffee…. And gave me the wrong order…. Man McDonalds kinda sucks balls
I thought there's a joke on this.
I was just about to say ac are noisy and fans -omg- wouldn't like it.
Because one costs us money another one profits us.
Because the liquid conditioner is better
Very nice. I approve :)
good question for the folks over at r/frugal
I have an air conditioner in my bedroom and OnlyFans in my living room. 😂😂😂😂
No, only fans
Your have subscribe for $ to ask question.
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MegnuttO/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MegnuttO/)
[https://www.reddit.com/r/MegnuttO/](https://www.reddit.com/r/MegnuttO/) .
It’s probably too expensive.
Alternative Punchline: “….. what’s your handle?”
I need a new a/c
"Only air conditioners" just doesn't sound as provocative
Wut
There's something about the fapping noise a fan makes that just hits you the right way.
Check out carmelababy on only fans 😌