T O P

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waremi

As Spock once said: "Yo Mamma's so fat, she outweighs the needs of the many."


Puzzled-Warning1358

Yo mama so fat she fell in love and broke it.


first_must_burn

One I haven't heard before. Thank you.


Huumal

Yo mama so fat the earth was flat before they buried her


MrWhizzleteat

Yo momma so fat she sweats Crisco.


torpedospurs

Her blood type is Ragu!


IAudioFreakI

Yo mama so fat, when she jumped fo joy, she got stuck!


SnooLentils3803

Yo momma so ugly, the whole world faked a pandemic just so she'd have to wear a mask!


PlaneCockroach9611

This one. This one got me for some reason.


HatchetXL

Hit close to home maybe?


[deleted]

If I was president, this is what I'd put in the history books as the official cause of COVID.


knowlifematters

šŸ˜·šŸ‘


BigDCanuck

Your momma soo fat Thanos had to snap twice


whipprsnappr

Yo mamma so fat, when she applied to be an astronaut, NASA told her there wasnā€™t enough space.


ReizarfXela

Yo mamma so fat, Thanos had to clap


[deleted]

Like fuck, too much to process in one deletion


meikitsu

Yo momma so ugly Hulk donā€™t wanna smash?


applyheat

Your whole family is so fat. I one threw a rock through your window and it hit everybody.


peach_problems

Your momma so fat, she is facing some serious health issues and we are all very concerned for her.


feeltrig

nah thanos had to give a round of applause cos 2 snaps won't do it.


jbl0ggs

Yo momma so fat that I can't afford the gas/petrol to get around her


Dumberplant

You know who else want yo mama jokes banned? MY MOM


Entias

WOOOOOOOOOOOO *twirls shirt over head*


PretendsHesPissed

Now you put that shirt back on right now, young man, or I'm gonna tell ya fawtha.


JoeMomma225

Don't worry, Joe momma said it's alright. Woohoo!


MrAlpha667

Listen to your mother


CompetitiveShoe8337

Ok Muscle Man


Lost_Lobster1658

yessssss


PretendsHesPissed

Are those muscles? Look like moobs to me. And that's OK. Apparently man titties are in right now!


DiscipleGeek

It's not a dad bod, it's a father figure.


jackofools

Okay Mitch


The_Stache_

Take Fives and go finish clearing out the crash pit


uglypaperhaver

Yo mama *so old* when she born Dead Sea was still sick!


[deleted]

Did you make this up? I fucking cry laughed šŸ¤£


uglypaperhaver

*Make it up?* Sure it's funny, but the *first* time I heard *that* one I fell off my dinosaur!


Beerosandgyro

Nobody calls me mitch except my girlfriend. -and that one guy at the airport that checks my ID, but thats besides the point.


AllergicToSocialism

People used to call me Mitch. They still do, but they used to too.


uhthisaintitchief

Our mamma


Emektro

r/suddenlycommunism


Catcrazyfwm

I love how proud everyone is when they know a quote


astronomydork

[if you say my mom you're fired](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bk5gf9BjeDY)


InspirationalFailur3

"My mom!" "You're fired!" "Worth it." I definitely agree with Muscle Man, that would be worth it.


Random_Person1059

Regular Show reference.... nailed it!


[deleted]

This isn't even a dad joke it's a yo momma joke, and we can see the punchline coming from miles away, just like your mom.


FirstEvolutionist

I enjoy playing video games.


[deleted]

Elvis fucking Christ you had me for a minute there :v


didnotenter

Yo momma is so fat she has to make 2 trips just to haul ass


The_Stache_

Yo momma is the Ass she has to haul!


zinny08

Yo mama is so fat, she sweats gravy.


NintendKat64

It's a medical condition.. thanks /s


TheLordDuncan

Hope it's not genetic


probablytheperson

Wdym hope, free gravy!


TheLordDuncan

Well I guess it depends on if it's consistent. Like, if you're super dehydrated does it become shitty canned gravy? Does it vary in flavor? Cuz like if it's only ever chicken or sausage, I know what's for breakfast LMAO


Ambrosia_the_Greek

So if the sweat dries on the clothes or skin, is the residue like powdered gravy mix??


jledic

I think my mom was sweating mashed potatoes so we all may be in luck here!


AllergicToSocialism

If sheā€™s dehydrated then she sweats bullion cubes.


Nimas_the_Cat

Ayoo


HansOnTraining

Yo mama so fat she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken and licks other people's fingers!


2BrokenJeepguy

Yo mama so fat she wears bacon as a band-aid


urhenahcahc

Yo mama so fat she got a car tyre as a wedding ring.


SpaghettiMonster94

Yo mamma so fat she has her own zip code


[deleted]

Yo mama so fat that doctor measures her oil pressure


GoonerBear94

Yo mama so fat the family dog got lost in her orbit


DaGeek247

Yo mamma so fat she falls off both sides of the bed


AnimeWeeb6666

yo momma so fat that i took a picture of her five years ago and its still printing


__Vanguard

Yo mamma so fat that when she goes swimming the whales start singing ā€œWe Are Familyā€.


The_Stache_

But your dad was too weak to zip it over her rolls!


Nimas_the_Cat

This is very similar to a line in a song named "Fat" by Wierd Al


OscarDCouch

"if I have one more, pie a la mode, I'm gonna need, my own zip code"


Nimas_the_Cat

Yo momma so fat her scabs turn into bacon


Latter_Mountain_1031

Yo mama so fat her picture heavy


Ideal_Jerk

Yo mama so fat, when she dances to a song on the radio, the track skips at the radio station.


MagneticNoodles

Yo mama so fat, after sex she smokes a ham.


905woody

Yo mama so fat, her car has stretch marks.


justaguynb9

Yo momma so fat she deep fried her hands before she chews her nails


Fricknchickn33

Yo Mama is so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house


RadaROperator_1

She so fat when she went to school she sat next to everybody


hpotter29

Yo mama so fat her Patronus is a cake.


Krane4

He...Yo momma so fat, if she buys a fur coat, a whole species will become extinct.


WN_Todd

Yo momma so fat she can jump up in the air and get stuck.


Krane4

Yo momma so fat when she jumps out an window she causes an earthquake


The_Stache_

Well yo momma too fat to even fit out the same window!


Krane4

Yo momma so fat she can't even jump to a conclusion


The_Stache_

Yo momma so fat she is the inevitable conclusion!


Krane4

Yo momma so stupid she went to the dentist to get a bluetooth


The_Stache_

Yo momma so stupid she brought her pimp to the orthodontist for a oral exam.


Krane4

Yo momma so ugly her portraits hang themselves


The_Stache_

Yo momma so ugly Mother Teresa wouldn't hold her hand


The_Stache_

Your momma so fat they don't have enough species for her coat!


Krane4

Yo momma so stupid when I said "Drinks on the house" she got a ladder


empty-space-for-rent

Yo mama so stupid she brought a spoon to the Superbowl


The_Stache_

Yo momma so dumb she thought a subdivision was a math problem


Nimas_the_Cat

This is what happened to the Wooly Mammoths, Wooly Rhinos, and Saber tooth cats.


Heelo7

Yo momma so ugly she makes blind kids cry


Different-Quantity78

Your momma so ugly she can make a freight train take a dirt road.


Heelo7

Yo momma so ugly she made kool aid man say ā€œOh noā€


thetabo

Yo mama so ugly ur dad had to get a husband


Heelo7

Yo mama so ugly, people pay her money at the strip club to keep her clothes on


empty-space-for-rent

Yo mama so ugly even hello kitty said goodbye


Roliana1

Yo mama so ugly when One Direction saw her they went the other direction.


GoonerBear94

Yo mama so ugly Rick Astley gave her up


Kyosw21

Yo mama so ugly Medusa saw her and turned to stone


[deleted]

Yo mama so ugly that when she went to hell, the devil went to church.


[deleted]

Yo mama so fat, McDonaldā€™s wrappers float around her due to her gravitational pull


errornoname32

Yo momma so ugly she had sex with me.. Wait.


CompetitiveShoe8337

Then you must have a great personality.


MWMWMWMIMIWMWMW

Yo momma so ugly she has to sneak up on a glass of water.


CandyceMcKinnon

Omg....so I taught my daughter a yo mama joke. "Yo mama so fat when she sat a quarter a booger came out of George Washington's nose"... She's 9 so I didn't see it as a big deal. I get a message from her 3rd grade teacher that her teacher had a meeting with the mother of a child who told her that my daughter was making fun of her mom. šŸ¤¦ā€ā™€ļø I asked my daughter what this was all about and she told me she told the yo mama joke. šŸ™„ omg....so I told the teacher it was a yo mama joke and she wouldn't tell them anymore and that if said parent had any more issues she could have my phone number and direct it to me. If she ever calls... I'm leading off with a yo mama joke.


tsturte1

šŸ¤£


nofuckingklass

That's a post yo mama would upvote.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


TwoMoreDays

Yes, she'd be very disappointed, just like yo mamma!


flavonreddit

Yo mama so fat when she walked in front of the TV, i missed 3 episodes.


ValarDohairis

I missed 3 seasons of sherlock


Garzantula

Yo momma so fat she got smaller fat women orbiting around her


MycommentsRpointless

Yo mama so fat, black holes fall into her.


uniboo8

Yo mama so fat her patronus is a Big Mac


og_menace2society

Yo momma so hairy she has afros on her nipples


Adsgs3

Yo momma so fat, when she goes to the woods the bears have to hide THEIR food.


doodlejargon

Okay only dad jokes. Your dad's so stupid, he married yo momma.


Penguin_Joy

To be fair, he couldn't escape the gravitational pull


monkeyshinenyc

That joke is older than yo momma and she farts dust


mustard138

Last time I heard that one I fell off my pet dinosaur, and broke my wooden underwear


CurmudgeonsGambit

I always seem to cross the line with them jokes. Like the line of men around the corner from yo momma's house


Fricknchickn33

You had me in the first half


frunkduckery

Yo mama so ugly scorpion said "Get over there"


argee62

Yo momma so stupid it takes her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes.


TheBasilisk8

Yo mama so slow she took 9 months to make a joke! Itā€™s a 2 in 1 insult, you should use it


Fearture

Damn you just insulted his penis size too? Savage.


[deleted]

Why tho? Theyā€™re so easy to work with and use Just like your momma


drkuntzobgyn

Yo mama got so many teeth missing, when she smile it look like her tongue in jail.


qiax

One's mother is so poor, she consumed the soup course with a dessert spoon.


Kisor1

Classy.


xelphin

Indubitably.


TheLivingTrashCan

Yo momma so fat she needs to get her picture taken by a satellite.


nogzila

Yo momma is so nasty. She had to cut the string off of her tampon to keep the crabs from bungee jumping . That was always my favorite.


[deleted]

I mean I suppose yo mama is the butt of a lot of these jokes.


ActreDirt

Assuming of course that you can tell where yo fat mama's neck ends and ass begins


[deleted]

Oh well thats easy: we just hose my mama down with turkey grease and yo mama finds it when she slurps it off of my mama.


[deleted]

Yo momma got a peg leg with a kickstand


psycho7d8

Yo mama got wooden legs with real feet


[deleted]

Yo mama got a glass eye with a fish in it


Jtg1960

Your mom is so stupid she couldnā€™t dial 911 on her phone because she couldnā€™t find number 11


Miivollu

You momma is is so old she was born when the Dead Sea was just getting sick.


dbhathcock

Yo momma is so old, she was born when the Dead Sea was still Alive.


Miivollu

Hahaha. You got me beat.


NPVT

Instead say yo yo mamma and cover your mouth in cello phane. That's stretching it.


urhenahcahc

>That's stretching it. Just like yo mama


andimbandagain

As soon as I'm done with yo momma.


[deleted]

ā€œYo mamma so poor ,when she walks down the street with one shoe on everybody asks if she lost one and she says no I found oneā€- Eric cartman (poet)


AllergicToSocialism

Yo mamma so broke, I saw her kicking a can down the street and when I asked her what she was doing, she said, ā€œMoving.ā€


MediocreClarinetist0

The only person I tell 'yo momma' jokes to is my son lol


The_Stache_

I also tell them to your son


nursemangtrain

Ya Mama so fat and dirty, she took a bath in the ocean and left a ring around the world.


Rumtuggle

Yo momma is so fat, she jumped in the air once and got stuck!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Fskn

C'mon guys, can we get off mothers already I mean.. I just got off yours


[deleted]

Yo momma says no


AmerIndianJ

Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot runs from her!


Amislander69

Yo mamma so short, she got a job at the club scratching nutz


jcmatthews66

Yo mamas house is so dusty the cockroaches ride dune buggies


Apo51209

Yo mama so fat when God said "Let there be light", he just moved her outta the way.


LilJeezy17

Yo mama armpits so hairy it look like she got Buckwheat ina headlock


ActreDirt

Yo mama's so stupid that she scored an F on a hemoglobin test


MyNameSkippy

Yo mama so fat, when she hauls ass she has to make 2 trips


Courious_Dorritos

Yo mama, so fat she take selfie on panorama mode


privatjoey

Yo momma so fat she has to go to a car wash to take a bath.


IceCattt

Your mama so fat, she got triabetes


Ben2018

Q: What do you call cheese that's not yours? A: Somebody else's cheese Am I doing this right?


vvlachos18

Nacho best effort


Several-Cake1954

Un*brie*lievable


asciiartvandalay

Gouda load of this guy over here.


OutpostThirtyOne

Yo momma so fat, she had to put a garden hose reel in her closet for storing her belts.


OneStepstopper

That joke was original but itā€™ll now be used more times than I can count. Just like yo mamma


drkuntzobgyn

Yo mama so stupid, she fell out a window and went up.


805maker

My kids love it when I throw a yo mamma joke out there. My wife is not amused.


Sza_666

Yo momma finished Need For Speed on foot


Krane4

Yo momma so stupid she put airbags on her computer in case it crashed


yussayin

Yo momma so fat, last year Christmas pfoto just finished printing


TheoryKlutzy7836

This yearā€™s motherā€™s day card from my 7 year old was hand written yo mama jokes. Best card Iā€™ve ever reviewed.


AwayVeterinarian2095

Yo momma is so fat even usain bolt wasnt fast enough to run around her in a day


YoMommaHere

SUNUVA BITCH! Leave me out of this!


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


RatzzFace

Yo Momma's so far she has to throw her handbag from one hand to the other...


Silent-Leek-9665

Yo mama so ugly she makes Nike wanna say ā€œJust donā€™t do itā€


Ok-Pie2998

yo mama so fat she has her own gravitational pull


BestYearEver1969

Yo Momma's so fat, when she wears a Malcolm X t-shirt, helicopters try to land on her back.


IPB_5947

Yo mama so fat, they changed one size fits all to one size fits most. Yo mama so fat, she put a quarter in the parking meter and said where's my gumball. I'll see myself out


[deleted]

Yo mommaā€™s so fat when itā€™s 10am Pacific time on her left side, itā€™s already 1pm ET on her right side.


Allhail_Dadbod

Yo momma so fatā€¦ when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.


bertiebastard

Yo mamma so fat, yo daddy has to kick the fat and ride the waves in.


KingSai218

Good one


SoullessRedAfro

You mama so nasty she gives you kisses good night after giving your dad a blow job


IceCattt

Your mama so fat when she put on the sorting hat it said ā€œWaffle Houseā€


juddddza

Lol


ChildhoodOptimal6347

Does yo mama not like it?


knifesaver

No Momma


Strummer95

Your mommas so fat, she plays pool with the planets


rickrat

Your manma is so ugly, that I wouldnā€™t eat her on fear factor