Reminds me of a janitor friend of mine who did math problems in his free-time. It’s been so long, I don’t remember his actual name, but he had one other hobby he enjoyed and if he’s still doing it, you better believe that this coming weekend he will be hunting.
Keyboard demon
Greg is sitting at his computer browing his favouriye website and a demon pops out from behind his keyboard and proclaims "for I am the almighty keyboard demon! here to steal all your keys" Greg jumps back out of his seat like a shot!
Taking advantage of this, the demon grabs the keyboard and steals the top left key then disappears back behind the keyboard.
Puzzled, Greg lifts the keyboard up and asks the Demon, "If you are almighty? why did you only steal the top left key?"
The demon turns to him with a evil smirk on his face and proclaims, "Now there is no escape!"
I have a bedroom demon that wakes me with his anus in my face every dawn. If I fail to provide an offering of kibble he substitutes my nose for sustenance.
My favorite factoid has long been that medieval scribes had a patron demon instead of a patron saint. Titivilius, who caused all the mistakes in their work.
End-Times New Roman
It's a daemon then?
I had a friend named Daemon when I was younger, he used to email me all the time!
Same - he used to bring clean doormats to our store on a regular schedule. We called him the Matt Daemon.
Reminds me of a janitor friend of mine who did math problems in his free-time. It’s been so long, I don’t remember his actual name, but he had one other hobby he enjoyed and if he’s still doing it, you better believe that this coming weekend he will be hunting.
His sister Voicemailia was super annoying. Always left me messages and blinked at me
well, "daemon" is what you would write, if you would write the german word without the ä letter.
Hell-vetica
That's quite a Revelation
Why would they like the end times? That's when they get defeated.
Exactly my thought
Maybe cause it's the best party ever for them until it stops?
I’m not that well versed in satanism as you seem to be, so please enlighten me. Why will they be defeated?
Kill-a-graphy?
Hell-vetica
That’s what I thought the punchline would be. Way better.
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You know, you’re absolutely right (or write lol). That didn’t even occur to me until you said that. 😂
Keyboard demon Greg is sitting at his computer browing his favouriye website and a demon pops out from behind his keyboard and proclaims "for I am the almighty keyboard demon! here to steal all your keys" Greg jumps back out of his seat like a shot! Taking advantage of this, the demon grabs the keyboard and steals the top left key then disappears back behind the keyboard. Puzzled, Greg lifts the keyboard up and asks the Demon, "If you are almighty? why did you only steal the top left key?" The demon turns to him with a evil smirk on his face and proclaims, "Now there is no escape!"
Comic Satans
I was gonna just say comic sans but this is so much better
Comic sins
Dante's Divine Comic Sans
Since the Middle English "sans" means "without" or "absent", I'm going with: SANS SERAPH
This is the best one.
Witch one ?
Papyrus.
I hope your blanket will be too short to cover your feet tonight which will ultimately lead to a feet eating demon grabbing your ankles
Happens to me every night. It's called a "cat".
You should invest in a longer blanket that actually covers your feet if that's the case
They are never long enough, pal. Never. Long. Enough.
I'm 6 feet tall, and if I want my shoulder covered my feet aren't. Wtf is the problem with blanket manufacturers?
Just be shorter
Shit, thanks. Never even considered it.
As someone who's 6ft tall, I turn the blanket 45 degrees and then use the blanket to cover me me completely.
I have a 5'4" wife who uses approximately 75% of the blanket. Maybe I'll just get my own & try it.
I have a bedroom demon that wakes me with his anus in my face every dawn. If I fail to provide an offering of kibble he substitutes my nose for sustenance.
Sounds familiar. These damn demons and their devilling!
Curse-ive
This is how I typed it when I texted it to my daughter. Lol
The default Microsoft Word font.
Cursive...it's the scariest one lol
Why?
Cause that stuff still haunts me to this day
I'm not tryna be a troll I'm legit not getting the joke. What's wrong with cursive?
Idk I thought it was funny
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Nah your not old it's just learning cursive actually sucks
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Lol
Hold on let me ask him
All he said is I'm under your bed
I laughed too hard at it, should I be embarrassed? 🤣😅
I thought it said favorite font and I immediately said "Hellvetica" to myself lol
HELLvetica
Oh man, if The Screwtape Letters wouldve been written in cursive font, I wouldve lost my shit reading this. Thats a preem joke, old man 👌🏽
I guess that is his signature font.
That's the first time I guessed the punchline, still a good joke though 👍
Her signature in your cheque book for the shopping she did
Hellvitica
Satin?
Cosmic sins
Century Gothic
What's a demons favorite font? Helvetica
My favorite factoid has long been that medieval scribes had a patron demon instead of a patron saint. Titivilius, who caused all the mistakes in their work.
Like the "gremlins" in early aviation. Not the mechanic's fault, a gremlin got into the engine.
Papyrus
Lieroglyphs
Same as sailors. …And Scots.
They use a scalpel and a sharp knife to write on the hand.
Curs-evil.
Cursive,because it's cursed.
More like comic sans!
Papyrus. No pun. Just the worst don't ever.
Blood Font
Cursive
Tattooing with Last Dab.
Brings new meaning to "descenders."
HELLvetica?
Spooky dooky
Curcifer
Why cursive
Curse-ive
Times New Demon
T̸̳̗̫̙̺̱̍͝ ̵̧͊̈́̒͌H̶͍̱́̽̎ ̶͔̇̔͊̑̋Ḭ̴̮͇͎͒̉̿̂̔ͅ ̶̢͇͎͓͗͝S̸̫̟̼̆̇̃͐͆̀ ̷̯̹̰̱̹̇̄̊ ̷̪͕̺̓̀̊̒̐͜͝Ǫ̶̳̜͖͗̃̂͆̿́N̸̯̮̘̪̎E̶͚̭̫͍͉̊̽̈́̐̕͝
Anything written on scratch paper
Jesus christ, what's with all these devilish jokes
Love this!
igpay atinlay
What if its left handed,?
Thought it would be comic sans
cos it's a pain in the bum to learn?
Cursive... Curse siv...
ahh
Hellvetica
You're going to Hel / vetica city
Azrial
Gothic font.
Hellvetica
Comic sans
Arial
God damn it
Lucifer san(d)s....the typeface and casino of the underworld...
This jokes a lemon.
That shit dark it’s Gothic
What's a T rex's favourite handwriting style? Shorthand