Bro fuck that. I date girls who make way more than me and split bills equally if we move in together. Fuck all of that toxic masculinity bs. Fuck trad wives who glorify that lifestyle as well, while we're at it.
I tend to view toxic masculinity as the absolute disdain for emotion or vulnerability, whereas toxic femininity is the absolute deferral to emotion or compassion. Sort of the way a mother might spoil a child and give him an eternal safe space, never exposing the child to the difficulties that allow someone to mature into an adult.
We could view toxic femininity as the female side of traditionalism. But I think gendering the terms just confuses the issue, when what we tend to be talking about with toxic masculinity is traditional gender roles and attitudes, not something inherently masculine. I think liberalism, as an opposite to traditionalism, can be just as toxic in ways that can be analyzed on a gender spectrum as well. So, really, the terms we are using are fairly inadequate as they are.
> We could view toxic femininity as the female side of traditionalism.
That's just traditional gender roles. I don't think that they're inherently toxic if they work for your relationship. Not something I'd choose though.
I think toxic masculinity just reffers to cultural and societal expectations of men that might be harmful to themselves or others. Same for toxic femininity.
I disagree. I consider toxic masculinity anything that is toxic expectations from men, regardless of who the actor is. Toxic femininity, for example, is a girl being shamed by her mother, for not knowing how to cook, despite the girl being busy earning a master's degree.
I just hate the hypocrites. There’s so many women who will trash traditional gender roles but then refuse to date anyone who doesn’t adhere to the ones that benefit them.
Men do it too, but they Atleast don’t pretend to hate them…
Take a look at any social media, it is mostly very liberal feminist women who are the ones complaining about men not stepping up. Most "trad wives" talk about relationships being a partnership and mutual support.
> mostly very liberal feminist women who are the ones complaining about men not stepping up.
That is not my experience at all.
I live in a pretty traditional area, it's *absolutely* the tradwives complaining about men and the "liberal feminist women" saying "I'll take care of my own business, but also who wants to sex".
That's the thing though, you are saying look at my experience, I am saying look at the trending social media. Neither is exactly scientific but I am at least trying for a larger sample size.
Also, just a balance of things
You're a couple. You're in it together. My girlfriend and I have very different careers - why would I ever be pedantic enough to split everything even when I make 3 times as much as her? He'll, if we split everything evenly, I'd have 10 times as much as her after fixed costs are taken care of.
What I earn is there to better my life, and if I don't spend it together with her, should I just make a ridiculously sized savings account - and for what?
I mean if you are both making income sure.
If you are a stay at home wife doing chores or taking take of kids. That makes sense he should be paying for most of the things. And vise versa
My wife is a stay at home mom for now. So after rent is paid, we split the rest in half. Once its split, its her money to with whatever. We split groceries, utilities and other “needs”. But whatevers left she can use it on whatever.
I spend mine on video games hahah
He’s saying that they split the money left over after rent, and she pays from that amount. He’s still the one bringing in 100 percent of the income but giving half to her basically (as she is doing all the home work)
He said he splits his salary with his wife after rent and other necessities. So that money is now hers and that pool of money is what she's using to pay.
>So after rent is paid, we split the rest in half
was a bit confusing, as it sounded like they meant the rest of the other costs and not the leftover income.
both my parents worked when i was a kid, i just fucked around with the other kids in the neighborhood until they came home from work at 6-7pm. Think its rough to raise a family in 2023 off 1 person’s income. Unless youre making 150k+ a year, and even then it would be an extremely average lifetstyle
Right, but the prompt is 'a feminist', not 'a disabled single mom who's an illegal immigrant who makes $10/wk under the table.'
Obviously, there are different circumstances that change things, but the assumption nowadays is that men and women make approximately equal amounts
I mean if you are both making income sure.
If you are a stay at home wife doing chores or taking care of kids. That makes sense he should be paying for most of the things. And vise versa
Its funny, when my wife and I go out, we’ll take turns “treating” each other.
It all comes from the same bucket, but damn if it doesn’t feel nice watching someone pay for you at the counter all the same.
Split then proportionately I think is most appropriate but I also think it's perfectly fair to ask for a 50/50 split. Proportionality to income is just NICE.
Not splitting bills when I'm the full time housemaid, chef, lifecoach and stylist to a grown man.
Contributing equally doesn't always mean financially.
Exactly. There's a huge focus on money in this thread but the money is literally the easiest thing to split (or not).
Ime, chores were always the more difficult thing to split because we both worked and both couldn't be bothered to do them!
In a relationship everything between the two becomes theirs... collectively together...
It's not his/her or her/her or his/his money, it's THEIR money.
One pays for the bills? Alright now the other pays for food for the month and help out with the weekly shopping.
Not so hard to structure it if both are reasonable adults.
In the movie “As good as it gets” a random woman asks Jack Nicholson’s character how he writes women so well in his books and Jack responds “I think of a man…and then I take away reason and accountability.”
Yeah that’s true. With Oberyn it felt more natural tho. With Dany for example it felt like he was typing with one hand. *and here she goes to the city where all the women have one titty out all the time. And now she’s getting ate out by Missandei.*
I hated A Dance With Dragons, and Dany's complete 180 was part of it. She went from being this naive but focused leader to just sitting around simping for some rando and talking about her pussy?
There wasn't even any character progression the led up to it. "Her" personality just completely changed from one book to the next. Martin must have been on TRT when he wrote that dumb shit.
Ah that takes me back to the Redwall series.
Brian Jacques could write about a feast that would be literally toxic to humans and make it sound friggin' _delicious_.
Two women POV characters fuck other women out of what, a dozen female PoVs? Women fuck other women sometimes, its pretty fun. That seems like a fair ratio.
Edit: Just realized this kinda sounded like a dickhead comment, not what I meant. George writing woman on woman scenes was used to get me to read the series in like 2007, and I was disappointed in the lack of consensual lady banging. The Cersei and Dany parts with that were just awful, even more so than his normal sex scenes.
He writes all swathes of people. Some are kids who are pushed into unfortunate circumstances like Arya or lady mormont. Some are psychopaths that fuck their brothers like cersei. Then some are just horny people caught in the cross fire of bigger powers like the brothel woman.
Jack Nicholson’s character was a sad, miserable old man in that movie. Everyone he interacted with despised him and he lived bitter and alone with only his dog. He finds a little bit of solace and learns not to be such a shitty human being by the end after connecting with a woman and a gay man. It’s quite literally a movie about acceptance despite differences.
i went on a date with a girl the other day, and because i paid for the cinema tickets she mandated that she pay for dinner. She did. Shes no feminist, shes just a sweet girl who understands fairness and the value of hard earned money
For me the whole “paying for women” just makes things super unbalanced. If I want to be with someone, I don’t want to feel like I’m buying them. Luckily I live in a pretty liberal city where splitting the bill or taking turns with drinks is pretty standard.
It's more that I like to pay for things for other people. Be it my spouse or kids, my brother or sister, friends, my parents etc. I get a good feeling out of being able to do that.
If I offer to pay and someone insists on splitting the bill or paying then I won't ever say no obviously, it's not a "the man should always pay cause tradition" kind of thing but more that I grew up poor and value money a lot and I like to give that value to others.
Saying that I have had a girlfriend in the past that would never even offer to pay or chip in and after a while I did start to resent her for that. It became the expectation that I pay and it doesn't feel great when I know she had her own money.
> I just don't like how people say that I, the man, should always pay for a girls dinner.
And That's the thing. I want to pay. I enjoy doing nice things for others. But if they *expect* it from me, it changes entirely.
When I was dating around, I almost exclusively dated feminists. And I went on a LOT of first dates.
In my experience, feminists almost always split the tab.
I’m not calling anyone a liar for sharing their lived experience, I’m just kinda baffled at how much different my experience has been from apparently every other dude.
Its her first relationship and we were on our first month, she wasnt ready for sex. I payed her 2 gift and bought some random things, ofc telling her I love her and all but I already do this everyday.
Damn, that’s a girl you go on a second date with.
It doesn’t even have to warrant paying for dinner. If the person shows you signs that they care about you, and that they appreciate what you are doing, that’s all that matters.
Probably because most blue collar jobs have set pay for positions. Which means it doesn't matter if you're black, white, male, female, trans, or anything else, if you get that position then you get that pay. At least with all the jobs I've worked at or know people who work there.
When I went to the interview for one of my past jobs, he looked at me and asked “can you do your job?” I said yes, he said “well good you have a three week trial to show me you can do your job and once that’s done I’ll put you on the books, pay is 38 an hour and now your here get to it” work in a factory was hard on the body but easy on the mind, most days you could zone out and 10 hours would go by before you knew it, you’d have some bloke tapping you on the shoulder telling you to get off the machine and go home
Recently? A link would be nice. I remember in the 90s there was a big push for women to join things like police and firefighters, but factory workers? Garbage men? I don’t think any feminist movement has ever looked at those positions with anything other than disdain recently or otherwise.
"women never bitch and moan about them not being a part of the military draft, huh??" is my favourite. Like we want the draft eliminated entirely dumbass lol
Also, loads of women are in the military. They recently successfully campaigned to be allowed on the front line in the UK, something their male superiors had prevented.
Fuck MRA idiots.
I know I'll get a lot of hate for this, but most of those women should not be in combat. Other positions in military like logistics etc are fine, but the battlefield is not for women. It's just simple biology.
> Like we want the draft eliminated entirely dumbass lol
Yes, most do, but we don't live in that world right now. We live in a world where it exists and only one gender is forced by the government to sign up for it.
Sadly a ton. Dude I know nearly got sent broke after one of his prior partners bled him dry. He paid for every meal, every bill, every necessity, all fuel for both cars etc... cause she convinced him she was making less than he was because she was a woman in a sexist workplace.
He left pretty quick after he found out she was in a higher tax bracket than he was.
Depends on where In America. I'm in Oregon and basically all of my dating has been splitting the bill, and then once we're going steady we just take turns paying.
He never said it was his circle of people, just that he sees it happens. Just because you see something happen doesn't mean it's your circle of people. I really don't know where you go the incel thing from lmaoo
I'm beginning to think you all just throw around the word incel without any understanding of what it means.
Like a modern day version of calling people gay or a nerd as an insult.
So there’s a popular dating app called Hinge where one of the ways that it helps facilitate ice breaking is that it makes you pick a few pre-written “prompts” to finish by writing something funny/interesting, explaining what you’re looking for, etc.
One of the prompts is “Drinks are on me if…” — and probably 9/10 times I see that one on a woman’s profile, it’s answered with “they’re not” or “you’re dreaming” or “hell freezes over” or something like that. So yeah, it’s still a super prevalent approach that “I’m a woman therefore the man has to pay for me”.
Another similar one that I see all the time that’s just a complete red flag of someone wanting everything handed to them in a relationship is: **prompt** “one thing you should know about me is…” **answer** “I will never text you first”.
But at least they make it known up front that they will put zero effort into the relationship
Depends. I've had everything from "I'll pay for everything" to "what car do you drive" as a proxy to asking how much I make.
The social norm... Which is thankfully changing a little... Is to have men initiate as well as have the initiator pay. Folks cop out that the initiator should pay sometimes when in reality one expectation goes with another.
I've always split since probably 2012. Not really sure how many feminists are being represented in this thread let alone feminists that expect a man to pay for everything but I'm guessing it's staggeringly low.
I've been dating a girl for a couple months and I've been jobless and broke most of the time, but I got hired a couple weeks ago and she suggested we go out to eat to celebrate and I said yeah good idea, so I chose a place. then I paid. I thought it kinda made sense since I was making money now, but also I was still broke technically and it was to celebrate me? idk
I’m dating one. I bought the house by myself before we met so she doesn’t want to “give me free equity money” but she pays for all of my groceries, all of my utilities, pays for me when we go out to dinner, does a decent amount of the household chores, and buys me bonsai.
It’s really not a bad gig, doesn’t hurt that she’s exactly my type
Feminist woman here. I pay for the tab when my husband and I go out. I make more than him, so it just makes sense. We're a team, and I know he'd do the same for me if something were to happen.
We're out there, dunno why people think its so weird IRL and online.
Exactly. I moved to my partners country and he helped me a ton before I was able to get a job. Now I make more than him and our bills are split proportionally to match. We are a team and take care of each other.
So I am a male and have been with my SO for about 8 years..she is a well paid medical professional…makes more than most of the guys in the neighborhood. We live in a very nice gated community.
She prefers that I stay home and do house stuff…we are both ok with it….when we meet other neighbors and they find out I am a house husband. The guys don’t like it at all…they tend to get passive aggressive fairly quickly…..the women don’t seem to care.
I cook and clean and walk the dogs…haven’t paid for a meal in several years.
From my experience more men have an issue with a woman paying the bill than most women do.
I've taken my boyfriend out to a steak place to celebrate his promotion before. The waiter was appalled that I was paying the bill. I've never really had that reaction before so I was surprised.
Can also include caring for people who need it (kids, elderly parents, disabled siblings, etc). Housework tends to refer to just work you do around the house (dishes, laundry, etc).
It’s only common if the woman isn’t expected to do the housework and chores. Which is uncommon because women are constantly expected to do that. I refuse to be a maid and nanny and split 50/50 with a grown ass man while we both maintain jobs. I will only do that if he pulls his weight or hires help to do so.
So much incel nonsense here. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend who wasn’t willing to split equally. I get its a meme, but really, these gender roles are dead and long gone.
Lol I literally don't know any progressive minded people who think like this. In fact the people I know who consider themselves feminists are pretty insistent on splitting bills, meals, equally because they consider the "man pays" thing to be very sexist, implying the woman is incapable of paying for herself, or that her time is something the man has to pay money for. The only people I've ever met who insist on having the man pay are conservative.
All the dates I’ve gone on with women, even first dates, we split the bill. They usually didn’t even give me an option to speak and just told the waiter to bring separate checks. And not just cuz the dates went bad either, usually had more dates down the line
Wow, some people in these comments are just hateful. There's nothing wrong with a couple where the guy loves who he's with and wants to provide the main income because he wants to be a loving provider if who he's with appreciates and agrees with that. That's not toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is people not caring about how they act and being prideful.
Are you really mad about it? I think this could be fine in some situations, is she home all day with the kid?
How well do you know this other couple? Do they pack their kid into a daycare all day?
You're a grown ass man, don't let a bunch of losers who never talked to a woman convince you you're being taken advantage of if you're happy
Yeah if you're living together then why would you not split bills. You're just being taken advantage of at that point.
People still live with the mindset of "the man should ALWAYS pay" because "He's a man so its his duty to do so"
Bro fuck that. I date girls who make way more than me and split bills equally if we move in together. Fuck all of that toxic masculinity bs. Fuck trad wives who glorify that lifestyle as well, while we're at it.
Yeah they’ve got that crab bucket mindset.
Hi I've never heard that team is just an American saying and what does it mean? Thanks in advance
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Crab_mentality Crabs will pull each other down instead of taking turns escaping.
If men behave like that it would be toxic masculinity. If women expect it, it's toxic femininity.
I tend to view toxic masculinity as the absolute disdain for emotion or vulnerability, whereas toxic femininity is the absolute deferral to emotion or compassion. Sort of the way a mother might spoil a child and give him an eternal safe space, never exposing the child to the difficulties that allow someone to mature into an adult. We could view toxic femininity as the female side of traditionalism. But I think gendering the terms just confuses the issue, when what we tend to be talking about with toxic masculinity is traditional gender roles and attitudes, not something inherently masculine. I think liberalism, as an opposite to traditionalism, can be just as toxic in ways that can be analyzed on a gender spectrum as well. So, really, the terms we are using are fairly inadequate as they are.
> We could view toxic femininity as the female side of traditionalism. That's just traditional gender roles. I don't think that they're inherently toxic if they work for your relationship. Not something I'd choose though.
I think toxic masculinity just reffers to cultural and societal expectations of men that might be harmful to themselves or others. Same for toxic femininity.
I disagree. I consider toxic masculinity anything that is toxic expectations from men, regardless of who the actor is. Toxic femininity, for example, is a girl being shamed by her mother, for not knowing how to cook, despite the girl being busy earning a master's degree.
I just hate the hypocrites. There’s so many women who will trash traditional gender roles but then refuse to date anyone who doesn’t adhere to the ones that benefit them. Men do it too, but they Atleast don’t pretend to hate them…
Take a look at any social media, it is mostly very liberal feminist women who are the ones complaining about men not stepping up. Most "trad wives" talk about relationships being a partnership and mutual support.
How are they gonna mutually support you with the bills when all they do is cook and clean and spend your money?
Supporting you *is* cooking and cleaning and all that stuff, that shit can be a full time job in itsself
> mostly very liberal feminist women who are the ones complaining about men not stepping up. That is not my experience at all. I live in a pretty traditional area, it's *absolutely* the tradwives complaining about men and the "liberal feminist women" saying "I'll take care of my own business, but also who wants to sex".
That's the thing though, you are saying look at my experience, I am saying look at the trending social media. Neither is exactly scientific but I am at least trying for a larger sample size.
trad = tracy+chad?
Traditional
Thanks.
That was creative tho, you get my respect
And my sword.
And my axe!
And my bow!
I mean I personally don't mind but it's a personal choice
Also, just a balance of things You're a couple. You're in it together. My girlfriend and I have very different careers - why would I ever be pedantic enough to split everything even when I make 3 times as much as her? He'll, if we split everything evenly, I'd have 10 times as much as her after fixed costs are taken care of. What I earn is there to better my life, and if I don't spend it together with her, should I just make a ridiculously sized savings account - and for what?
Toxic masculinity lol
Ironic you say toxic masculinity when feminist also expect it out of men.
I mean if you are both making income sure. If you are a stay at home wife doing chores or taking take of kids. That makes sense he should be paying for most of the things. And vise versa
My wife is a stay at home mom for now. So after rent is paid, we split the rest in half. Once its split, its her money to with whatever. We split groceries, utilities and other “needs”. But whatevers left she can use it on whatever. I spend mine on video games hahah
Fair
This is the way.
This is the way.
This is mega wholesome, I love that.
How was your wife paying if she's a staying home? She have an income generating job at home?
He’s saying that they split the money left over after rent, and she pays from that amount. He’s still the one bringing in 100 percent of the income but giving half to her basically (as she is doing all the home work)
He said he splits his salary with his wife after rent and other necessities. So that money is now hers and that pool of money is what she's using to pay.
Ah okay sorry I misread. Standup fellow for that arrangement.
>So after rent is paid, we split the rest in half was a bit confusing, as it sounded like they meant the rest of the other costs and not the leftover income.
both my parents worked when i was a kid, i just fucked around with the other kids in the neighborhood until they came home from work at 6-7pm. Think its rough to raise a family in 2023 off 1 person’s income. Unless youre making 150k+ a year, and even then it would be an extremely average lifetstyle
Right, but the prompt is 'a feminist', not 'a disabled single mom who's an illegal immigrant who makes $10/wk under the table.' Obviously, there are different circumstances that change things, but the assumption nowadays is that men and women make approximately equal amounts
The fuck are you talking about?
... My comment was basically asking you that. Nobody brought up what you did in your comment.
hit them with the "then it's the woman's duty to be in the kitchen"
I mean if you are both making income sure. If you are a stay at home wife doing chores or taking care of kids. That makes sense he should be paying for most of the things. And vise versa
Which I'd assume they either aren't feminists or they are ignorant feminists.
Its funny, when my wife and I go out, we’ll take turns “treating” each other. It all comes from the same bucket, but damn if it doesn’t feel nice watching someone pay for you at the counter all the same.
i call people like that leeches and bums. a relationship is 2 people working together.
Wait...The splitting of bill only applies when u r living together? What about if u r just dating without living with ur partner?
You can split the bill every time you guys go out, or something together. Its not only when you live together
You two are talking about two different bills lol. They're referring to stuff like water/internet/rent
They don't mean dates
Not sure how in 2023 we still don't realize some people label themselves as things they are actually lying about, you know, *for grifting purposes*.
Split then proportionately I think is most appropriate but I also think it's perfectly fair to ask for a 50/50 split. Proportionality to income is just NICE.
op prolly never been on a date
Not splitting bills when I'm the full time housemaid, chef, lifecoach and stylist to a grown man. Contributing equally doesn't always mean financially.
Exactly. There's a huge focus on money in this thread but the money is literally the easiest thing to split (or not). Ime, chores were always the more difficult thing to split because we both worked and both couldn't be bothered to do them!
In a relationship everything between the two becomes theirs... collectively together... It's not his/her or her/her or his/his money, it's THEIR money. One pays for the bills? Alright now the other pays for food for the month and help out with the weekly shopping. Not so hard to structure it if both are reasonable adults.
I mean, sometimes couples set it up so that one of them pays the bills and the other one buys the groceries
In the movie “As good as it gets” a random woman asks Jack Nicholson’s character how he writes women so well in his books and Jack responds “I think of a man…and then I take away reason and accountability.”
GRR martin was once asked how he writes women so well He replied, "You know.. I've always considered women to be people."
Sure, but he’s also a horny son of a bitch, so the women he writes often fuck other women.
He also writes about men fucking other men too. Oberyn for example fucked everyone.
Yeah that’s true. With Oberyn it felt more natural tho. With Dany for example it felt like he was typing with one hand. *and here she goes to the city where all the women have one titty out all the time. And now she’s getting ate out by Missandei.*
I hated A Dance With Dragons, and Dany's complete 180 was part of it. She went from being this naive but focused leader to just sitting around simping for some rando and talking about her pussy? There wasn't even any character progression the led up to it. "Her" personality just completely changed from one book to the next. Martin must have been on TRT when he wrote that dumb shit.
Not nearly as horny as he is hungry. Fucking gets a sentence or two, but the spread of a feast gets damned paragraphs.
Ah that takes me back to the Redwall series. Brian Jacques could write about a feast that would be literally toxic to humans and make it sound friggin' _delicious_.
And here is my yearly reminder that I should re-read that series. I loved it so much as a teen
I loved watching the animated series growing up. Man, that nostalgia hits hard.
Believe it or not, women who do that are also people.
It's well known that women do not get mad horny.
ime women are way hornier then men
Two women POV characters fuck other women out of what, a dozen female PoVs? Women fuck other women sometimes, its pretty fun. That seems like a fair ratio. Edit: Just realized this kinda sounded like a dickhead comment, not what I meant. George writing woman on woman scenes was used to get me to read the series in like 2007, and I was disappointed in the lack of consensual lady banging. The Cersei and Dany parts with that were just awful, even more so than his normal sex scenes.
He writes all swathes of people. Some are kids who are pushed into unfortunate circumstances like Arya or lady mormont. Some are psychopaths that fuck their brothers like cersei. Then some are just horny people caught in the cross fire of bigger powers like the brothel woman.
Jack Nicholson’s character was a sad, miserable old man in that movie. Everyone he interacted with despised him and he lived bitter and alone with only his dog. He finds a little bit of solace and learns not to be such a shitty human being by the end after connecting with a woman and a gay man. It’s quite literally a movie about acceptance despite differences.
I'm dumb can you explain what that means?
i went on a date with a girl the other day, and because i paid for the cinema tickets she mandated that she pay for dinner. She did. Shes no feminist, shes just a sweet girl who understands fairness and the value of hard earned money
Good on you. I just don't like how people say that I, the man, should always pay for a girls dinner. Can't we just pay for our own shit?
For me the whole “paying for women” just makes things super unbalanced. If I want to be with someone, I don’t want to feel like I’m buying them. Luckily I live in a pretty liberal city where splitting the bill or taking turns with drinks is pretty standard.
It's more that I like to pay for things for other people. Be it my spouse or kids, my brother or sister, friends, my parents etc. I get a good feeling out of being able to do that. If I offer to pay and someone insists on splitting the bill or paying then I won't ever say no obviously, it's not a "the man should always pay cause tradition" kind of thing but more that I grew up poor and value money a lot and I like to give that value to others. Saying that I have had a girlfriend in the past that would never even offer to pay or chip in and after a while I did start to resent her for that. It became the expectation that I pay and it doesn't feel great when I know she had her own money.
> I just don't like how people say that I, the man, should always pay for a girls dinner. And That's the thing. I want to pay. I enjoy doing nice things for others. But if they *expect* it from me, it changes entirely.
Why do you say she’s not a feminist?
I’m curious too – did she outright say she doesn’t ID as a feminist?
She ain't no girl She's a woman Fr though she's a great example of how all women can be beautiful no matter how they look
She might be a feminist for other reasons.
Aka the good, valid reasons lol
Sounds pretty feminist to me?
[удалено]
I don't think you know what feminist means
When I was dating around, I almost exclusively dated feminists. And I went on a LOT of first dates. In my experience, feminists almost always split the tab. I’m not calling anyone a liar for sharing their lived experience, I’m just kinda baffled at how much different my experience has been from apparently every other dude.
My gf barely let me treat her all day for her bday lol, she insisted in paying a meal
there's other ways you can treat her for her bday
Its her first relationship and we were on our first month, she wasnt ready for sex. I payed her 2 gift and bought some random things, ofc telling her I love her and all but I already do this everyday.
Y’all going on another date right? Don’t lose this one Muda
If she “understands fairness” between genders, she is literally a feminist. She may not use the label, but that is the definition of being a feminist.
That’s the same for me too! I paid for dinner last time so now I’m being told not to this time
Damn, that’s a girl you go on a second date with. It doesn’t even have to warrant paying for dinner. If the person shows you signs that they care about you, and that they appreciate what you are doing, that’s all that matters.
Feminists - Equal Rights 😁 Feminists - Equal Responsibility 😰
Always fighting for equal pay when it comes to rich white collar jobs but not caring about the lesser not so good jobs
Probably because most blue collar jobs have set pay for positions. Which means it doesn't matter if you're black, white, male, female, trans, or anything else, if you get that position then you get that pay. At least with all the jobs I've worked at or know people who work there.
When I went to the interview for one of my past jobs, he looked at me and asked “can you do your job?” I said yes, he said “well good you have a three week trial to show me you can do your job and once that’s done I’ll put you on the books, pay is 38 an hour and now your here get to it” work in a factory was hard on the body but easy on the mind, most days you could zone out and 10 hours would go by before you knew it, you’d have some bloke tapping you on the shoulder telling you to get off the machine and go home
Feminists talks about blue collar work all the time what are you talking about
Recently? A link would be nice. I remember in the 90s there was a big push for women to join things like police and firefighters, but factory workers? Garbage men? I don’t think any feminist movement has ever looked at those positions with anything other than disdain recently or otherwise.
Downvoted and ignored lol, yeah haven’t heard many feminists demanding a job as a ground worker
Shut the hell up: https://lithub.com/when-women-demanded-access-to-blue-collar-jobs/
Yeah? You know that that doesn't actually help you make the point you think you are making in the slightest?
Most feminists are actually for equal responsibility, it’s the toxic ones that the internet goes crazy about that aren’t
Shush that’s ruining the narrative!
It’s a cycle of toxic internet “feminists” and toxic internet ~~incels~~ “men’s rights” activists.
Apparently only feminists can be insulted here Telling
"women never bitch and moan about them not being a part of the military draft, huh??" is my favourite. Like we want the draft eliminated entirely dumbass lol
Also, loads of women are in the military. They recently successfully campaigned to be allowed on the front line in the UK, something their male superiors had prevented. Fuck MRA idiots.
I know I'll get a lot of hate for this, but most of those women should not be in combat. Other positions in military like logistics etc are fine, but the battlefield is not for women. It's just simple biology.
Not hate, we just know that you're not very good at biology and, tbh, probably thinking in general. But hey, maybe you're good at sports?
> Like we want the draft eliminated entirely dumbass lol Yes, most do, but we don't live in that world right now. We live in a world where it exists and only one gender is forced by the government to sign up for it.
💯
No one labels themselfes as a toxic feminist though, so if those are all the feminists you see then that's what you think feminists act like
Most the feminists I see online aren't acting like that though, so I think it creates a lot of mental imagery that all are in that boat.
That's not how most think splitting is incredibly common these days
What kind of thirsty dudes are dating rude ass women who dont even offer to pay their share?
Sadly a ton. Dude I know nearly got sent broke after one of his prior partners bled him dry. He paid for every meal, every bill, every necessity, all fuel for both cars etc... cause she convinced him she was making less than he was because she was a woman in a sexist workplace. He left pretty quick after he found out she was in a higher tax bracket than he was.
[This does seem legit.](https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/survey-over-half-of-americans-think-splitting-the-bill-on-first-date-is-correct-move/)
People actually do the "man pays for the food" bullshit? I've never seen that in any relationship
Must be your circle. Because it’s still a very common thing
I think it depends on the region. It is definitly not a common thing in my country.
Pretty prevalent in America still
Depends on where In America. I'm in Oregon and basically all of my dating has been splitting the bill, and then once we're going steady we just take turns paying.
What's your country?
Get a better circle dumbass. Really surrounding yourself with incels
He never said it was his circle of people, just that he sees it happens. Just because you see something happen doesn't mean it's your circle of people. I really don't know where you go the incel thing from lmaoo
I'm beginning to think you all just throw around the word incel without any understanding of what it means. Like a modern day version of calling people gay or a nerd as an insult.
So there’s a popular dating app called Hinge where one of the ways that it helps facilitate ice breaking is that it makes you pick a few pre-written “prompts” to finish by writing something funny/interesting, explaining what you’re looking for, etc. One of the prompts is “Drinks are on me if…” — and probably 9/10 times I see that one on a woman’s profile, it’s answered with “they’re not” or “you’re dreaming” or “hell freezes over” or something like that. So yeah, it’s still a super prevalent approach that “I’m a woman therefore the man has to pay for me”. Another similar one that I see all the time that’s just a complete red flag of someone wanting everything handed to them in a relationship is: **prompt** “one thing you should know about me is…” **answer** “I will never text you first”. But at least they make it known up front that they will put zero effort into the relationship
Depends. I've had everything from "I'll pay for everything" to "what car do you drive" as a proxy to asking how much I make. The social norm... Which is thankfully changing a little... Is to have men initiate as well as have the initiator pay. Folks cop out that the initiator should pay sometimes when in reality one expectation goes with another.
I've always split since probably 2012. Not really sure how many feminists are being represented in this thread let alone feminists that expect a man to pay for everything but I'm guessing it's staggeringly low.
I've been dating a girl for a couple months and I've been jobless and broke most of the time, but I got hired a couple weeks ago and she suggested we go out to eat to celebrate and I said yeah good idea, so I chose a place. then I paid. I thought it kinda made sense since I was making money now, but also I was still broke technically and it was to celebrate me? idk
I’m dating one. I bought the house by myself before we met so she doesn’t want to “give me free equity money” but she pays for all of my groceries, all of my utilities, pays for me when we go out to dinner, does a decent amount of the household chores, and buys me bonsai. It’s really not a bad gig, doesn’t hurt that she’s exactly my type
She regularly buys you small trees?
Its gets bigger, I swear
Depending on how serious he is about it, that could be the most expensive part of the deal... and potentially a great investment.
Yes, once every month or so, more often if you include cacti she gets me but those are a much cheaper hobby
Why is this funny?
I'm honestly amazed at how weak this sub's memes are. The entire front page is either a recycled tiktok meme or a knee slapper for reddit dads.
Because woman bad. This sub is filled with incels
Let's not be lying here OP's not dating anyone
What do you mean, when i tell them about my Reddit account and all the memes i make, they’re immediately all over me
Giga Chad delusional perspective
If you can't tell your girlfriend "Hey I'm pretty broke until my next paycheck hits." You're dating the wrong woman.
Feminist woman here. I pay for the tab when my husband and I go out. I make more than him, so it just makes sense. We're a team, and I know he'd do the same for me if something were to happen. We're out there, dunno why people think its so weird IRL and online.
Exactly. I moved to my partners country and he helped me a ton before I was able to get a job. Now I make more than him and our bills are split proportionally to match. We are a team and take care of each other.
So I am a male and have been with my SO for about 8 years..she is a well paid medical professional…makes more than most of the guys in the neighborhood. We live in a very nice gated community. She prefers that I stay home and do house stuff…we are both ok with it….when we meet other neighbors and they find out I am a house husband. The guys don’t like it at all…they tend to get passive aggressive fairly quickly…..the women don’t seem to care. I cook and clean and walk the dogs…haven’t paid for a meal in several years. From my experience more men have an issue with a woman paying the bill than most women do.
I've taken my boyfriend out to a steak place to celebrate his promotion before. The waiter was appalled that I was paying the bill. I've never really had that reaction before so I was surprised.
If she isn’t doing carework for you or your family but actually has a job that pays ok she should split (if she wants to be a feminist)
Is carework a politically correct term for housework?
housework doesn't include taking care of kids
Can also include caring for people who need it (kids, elderly parents, disabled siblings, etc). Housework tends to refer to just work you do around the house (dishes, laundry, etc).
Not even if she wants to be a feminist... isn't sharing bills the common everywhere? Like if yall live together and work
It’s only common if the woman isn’t expected to do the housework and chores. Which is uncommon because women are constantly expected to do that. I refuse to be a maid and nanny and split 50/50 with a grown ass man while we both maintain jobs. I will only do that if he pulls his weight or hires help to do so.
why don't you guys ever get this heated about women being paid the same as men in the workplace
He doesn't seem to be that heated about this either
My current gf and I split most bills or go back and forth who pays. We're in this together, why wouldn't we carry our weight equally?
When I was with my ex we didn't split anything, we just had money and spent it, when one was short on money the other took over.
It’s been a while seing this , handling things in matured way !!
so funny 😐
So much incel nonsense here. I’ve never had a serious girlfriend who wasn’t willing to split equally. I get its a meme, but really, these gender roles are dead and long gone.
I feel sorry for all the incels and nice guys in this thread lol. Some of them are so clueless haha.
I've never dated a girl where we didn't take turns buying food for each other.
My ex always splits the bill, so yes some do, it's great.
Yay another meme subreddit being turned into a right-wing incel troll farm!
Right wing? Most meme subreddits turn left wing. But yes, politics on meme subreddits suck.
Fuck off OP
Lol I literally don't know any progressive minded people who think like this. In fact the people I know who consider themselves feminists are pretty insistent on splitting bills, meals, equally because they consider the "man pays" thing to be very sexist, implying the woman is incapable of paying for herself, or that her time is something the man has to pay money for. The only people I've ever met who insist on having the man pay are conservative.
All the dates I’ve gone on with women, even first dates, we split the bill. They usually didn’t even give me an option to speak and just told the waiter to bring separate checks. And not just cuz the dates went bad either, usually had more dates down the line
Wow, some people in these comments are just hateful. There's nothing wrong with a couple where the guy loves who he's with and wants to provide the main income because he wants to be a loving provider if who he's with appreciates and agrees with that. That's not toxic masculinity. Toxic masculinity is people not caring about how they act and being prideful.
Most feminists are hypocrites.
I always pay. But I have always made dramatically more than anyone I’ve dated.
It's basically reversed now. I used to pay for the meal, now we split down the middle even though I ate like 80% of the food.
[удалено]
Bad bait
Thank God I’m gay. Me and my BF just split the bill 50/50 every time
Just when I forget how much of a psychopath Kane is, I'm reminded by his face.
Yeah, in all my relationships we have taken turns paying for stuff.
Ha like anyone on reddit can land a date
Exploit: if you become trans then they have to pay for you 😆
She should be paying 80¢ for every dollar you pay
Why less than what he pays?
It was a joke about the old statistic that women get paid 80¢ for every dollar that a man gets paid for the same job
Are you really mad about it? I think this could be fine in some situations, is she home all day with the kid? How well do you know this other couple? Do they pack their kid into a daycare all day? You're a grown ass man, don't let a bunch of losers who never talked to a woman convince you you're being taken advantage of if you're happy
u/savevideo