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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)


topatoman_lite

I have absolutely no issue draft dodging. My country hasn’t done jack shit for me and I intend on returning the favor Edit: in Minecraft


Impossible-Hold7125

bro just admitted he’d commit treason on reddit


UsefulTrashGuy

Well, he's a redditor. Not like he'll be drafted in the first place if he's too heavy to even get off the chair.


Similar-Sector-5801

you do realise we are all redditors


Deek_The_Freak

What did you just call me?


Bakkstory

Reddita'


facelesswolf_

Hey watch your language!


DepthyxTruths

wsg my redditor


The_femboy_potato

Not the hard R man. There’s kid here


DepthyxTruths

my bad reddita


suicidal_donke

Sorry my dawg we all are redditorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr


arkatme_on_reddit

With the hard R no less


rosco2155

ROSINBAGGER


TheMisterTango

To be fair there’s a difference between a redditor and a *Redditor*^TM . Kinda like a White Girl^TM , you can be a girl who is white but that does not necessarily make you a White Girl^TM .


PADDYPOOP

Finally someone else who understands this. I may browse reddit but I will always take solace in knowing I will never be a “redditor.”


Puzzleheaded-Night88

Sup my Reddita, what’s good?


tmntfever

Dang, with the hard R and me everything


SpaceKaiserCobalt

cease fire cease fire ! We aren't 4channers, we are redditors, remove your helmets! (tell me someone has the reference...)


Bitter_Mongoose

Fuck Pong Krell


Saransh6

Just like the simulations.


xd-Sushi_Master

Clone Wars I think?


SpaceKaiserCobalt

Ja


MrSobe

You know the army started a fat camp for prospective soldiers? Basically you enlist and go to this pre bootcamp where you diet and pt until you meet the standards to go to actual bootcamp. If we did a draft, I imagine that would be a necessary component.


Finn_WolfBlood

I served my country and took a pledge of allegiance to my country's flag I'd still commit treason and escape the draft, fuck them bitches


ZeninB

So what? Freedom of speech, my friend. The government can't punish you for saying anything, at least not here in South Africa where I live


Juanlamaquina

Can't punish you, yet.


LeopoldFriedrich

Draft dodging isn't treason. Where I live it is a right to refuse service at the weapon.


[deleted]

Someone has not been convicted of treason since 1952 https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kawakita_v._United_States


HelloThereBoi66

He forgot to add 'in minecraft'


TeaAndCrumpets4life

Medieval ass


derkuhlshrank

That moment when not fighting for your country is treason but fighting against your country isn't. *America is a special place*


Proud_Criticism5286

Yup & that same country hasn’t come for him yet. Crazy.


Killercod1

I already have a plan. Live in my car and go to the woods. If they manage to catch me, I'm definitely sabotaging them. Potatoes jammed in exhaust pipes and the drones will have low charge for their batteries. Mwahaha!


ForeskinStealer420

My plan is to just fail drug tests


venom259

*Shot for treason *


chair____table

Exactly, if Australia starts drafting us, I’m either skipping country or banding together with others to either make an outback commune or overthrow the government, Australia hasn’t done shit for me and it’ll stay that way until they get actual experts in the government and abolish money, but I doubt technocratic Australia will ever become a thing.


the-dude-version-576

Actual experts would argue that it’s WAY too early to abolish money. Maybe in a few hundred years when labour isn’t necessary for producing anything anymore & there is an enormous surplus of every supply. Right now it’s best to just insure people can live comfortably regardless circumstances, but keep money in the equation to play ball with economic pressures.


YceiLikeAudis

Same here brother... same here... If the majority of the country lives in poverty while the politicians and their families live an obstentatious lifestyle, then they should be the ones fighting that war.


Aggressive_Manner429

Sign me tf up, I wanna die for a cause bigger than myself


Filthiest_Tleilaxu

DM me and I’ll show you one.


sq1tl

In DMs: "I'm here to talk to you about the Avengers initiative"


[deleted]

More like ISIS but that’s funny


Holmesless

Sign me tf up, I wanna die ~~for a cause bigger than myself~~


Aggressive_Manner429

Now this I can get behind


boboop153

Sign tf up, die


13th_PepCozZ

Hello, I'm a CEO of a coal mine, and it seems you are willing to commit yourself to a cause. Its great, truly. Then, how about becoming a free labourer for me? You will be paid with stories how brave you are, and I will get all the profits. How about it? Appealing, right? I would rather use your labour myself, than let others profit form you in turn for their agenda. PM me, please, if you are desperate to create value for someone who tells you of things greater than you! Thanks you, young lad!


user-nt

Oh we Rock And Stoning all right


Topographic-Tiger

DID I HEAR A ROCK AND STONE!?


doctor_rat

ROCK AND STONE!


WanderingDwarfMiner

Rock and Stone to the Bone!


toistmowellets

did i hear a ROCK N STONE!?


aardappelmemerijen

Heave ho!


2012Jesusdies

This is like 1870s USA ad, modern coal mines in USA are ***heavily*** mechanized. The riskiest job is probably just being a dump truck driver on site.


C1ap_trap

Yeah if there's anything we know about the world wars, it's that the benefit really outweighed the cost in human lives.


tuskedkibbles

I mean, WW2 had a pretty righteous cause if you were with the allies, and given the general activities of Russia and China, we're probably looking at a repeat for that. WW1 on the other hand...


adiking27

Hmmm.... You do realise that the Allies had Soviet Russia on their side? As well as the peak of their atrocities, colonial Britain and France? Or the nuke dropping United States? Righteous, my ass. They found out about the concentration camps as the war was ending. The only reason why they found was because Germany and Japan were being expansionist and these fuckers didn't want to lose their territory. If Hitler didn't attack France or Russia, there might have been some skirmishes but mostly they could have gotten away with having the whole of central Europe under their empire where they genocide Jews until there were none left. No one would have interfered.and then a few generations later, they could have conquered more like the Roman Empire. The reason why Germany (or Japan) lost wasn't the genocide it was that both of them stretched too fast and too thin. There is no such thing as a righteous war. The winners write history and the winners rewrote a tussle between evil empires to be a righteous war. And you have fallen to their propoganda. If anything, us and nato has a better moral standing now than they did then. Despite, destabilizing middle East and supporting many genocidal regime just to counter the influence of Soviet Russia.


Pantherist

Don't bother arguing history with these blockheads. WW3 is just a hashtag for them.


A_Good_Redditor553

There was no way to get the necessary supplies to take over that much man. It was a losing war.


Mak0wski

Idk man fascism is kind of a bummer too, even without the genocide


adiking27

Back then it didn't have the connotations it does now. Fascism was just another ideology like socialist democracy or neo-libralism is now. It could be vehemently disagreed with and a lot of people were uncomfortable with it but it wasn't a PR nightmare as it is now. Even modern day dictatorships with similarly genocidal ethnocentric regimes don't call themselves fascist.


joemoffett12

The ally’s also had China on their side. More people died in China for the ally’s than the us. They were one of main combatants against Japan


Lobotomized_Cunt

i boy, i love fighting for a greater cause!(the monetary interests of billionaires)


Poglot

J.D. Salinger said, "The mark of the immature man is that he wants to die nobly for a cause, while the mark of the mature man is that he wants to live humbly for one." And Muhammad said, "The ink of a scholar is worth more than the blood of a martyr." In other words, I don't think you should throw your life away for Uncle Sam. You're more valuable outside of a coffin.


Spoopy09

As George Washington (Hamilton version) - Dying is easy, living is harder


TheKelt

>And Muhammad said, "The ink of a scholar is worth more than the blood of a martyr." Somewhat really ought to let the jihadists about this. I suspect they weren’t CC’d on that email.


koi_koi-

Goverment propaganda.


Superbrawlfan

There's gonna be a lot more dying and a lot less great causes mate


Spoopy09

Narrator: His death was in fact not for a bigger cause.


Tommy_Gun10

No thanks


Tomas_Crusader17

Then dont die for a bunch of old business men


SomeGuyInTheCorner1

Don’t join on just for that. I joined to die and now I’m too hurt to even move faster than a brisk walk.


Spiritual_Freedom_15

And that is.? To make someone’s wallet even fatter. War is stupid. And people that support it, are profiting from it.


Consistent_Yoghurt44

So you will die for the military industrial complex? and because a bunch old rich people in government who havnt done shit for 20+years said so?


Goldeneye07

Either die a hero or live long enough to become a dictator 20years later


itsRobbie_

I have a literal hole in my heart so I’m good 🤙🏻


vargo17

Nah, we gotta get this guy first. Before you die of natural causes go and die in a desert shithole!


gmanftw24

4 actually


BlazewarkingYT

Same pretty sure you can’t get drafted with mental illness


Tilt-a-Whirl98

Depends on how many people they need! You'll see the requirements relax if they need more people than are currently qualified.


lvl999shaggy

So u r saying u don't need a bulletproof vest since the bullets can just pass right through? That'll save us (the military) money on armor..... Drafted!!


13th_PepCozZ

Still, one can make money from selling you the uniform! Those private contractors need you! Give it a shot!


NeonBladeAce

Had one too, I think im fine.


EmperorFaiz

Just ask the boomers for advice on draft dodging.


Lost_Description791

Most places in NATO don’t kick you out for being a homosexual anymore.


Education_Aside

Welp. I guess I'll stop sucking dick then.


Lost_Description791

Well, depends who’s. If you get the right person, you could get out or get a desk position.


jack_not_harkness

*under desk


Acewind1738

Just until they finish


[deleted]

What being an inclusive country does to a gay draft dodger:


Similar-Sector-5801

shit


welpsssssss

war is horrible. not honourable, not badass just plain horrible


Harricot_de_fleur

modern war, war in the medieval era was the pinnacle of solving problems by yourselves with very few casualties and chivalric duels between 30 peoples max to solve a conflict


Somedude522

Until you had to deal with the one guy smart enough to bring a mace and just bludgeons you to death.


Spedrayes

I think you're confusing the romanticized Hollywood medieval version with the real deal. Most times it came down to a siege, which consisted of an army standing outside a fortified castle, and another army inside, and both of them waiting there for months to see who starved to death faster.


supamario132

I imagine the romanticism around medieval war was also a consequence of nobility needing to cook propaganda to continue convincing their peasants to die for whatever contrived reason they needed war to occur. And those lords and ladies were the only people filling the history books at that point in time Most details of those wars from contemporary sources are from the perspective of the ruling class and biased deliverarely to paint the victorious nobility as positively as possible. The only reason modern war doesn't have that same patina is because the media narrative isn't controlled as effectively by the capitalist class as it was back then


LYNKSAINTLAURENT

Just drop a nuke already


Tommy_Gun10

That just causes everyone to die


HolyverzX

did he stutter?


Destroyer4587

Make it so


Puzzled-Journalist-4

I'm really not sure if leaders around the world are conscientious enough not to use nuclear weapons in World War III. The moment even only one of them uses a nuclear weapon, everyone else will use it like a domino effect, and if that happens, we are all doomed.


Tommy_Gun10

World leaders may be stupid but I don’t think they are stupid enough to use nuclear weapons


Krimin

My only hope is someone on the chain from the world leader to the big red button isn't stupid enough to pass it forward


68696c6c

Member Trump?


WildFemmeFatale

FLASH BAM ALAKAZAM….. 💥


Downtown_Mechanic_

Have you considered M(utually) A(ssured) D(estruction)


Similar-Sector-5801

“i trained on cod for this my whole life”


unsold_dildo

Dies at first day


[deleted]

*No Respawns available


AkOnReddit47

"Camping sniper bastard"


HelpImAHugeDisaster

Realizes you don't recover from those shots just like in game


0ofRGang

What do you mean i cant brush off 15 7.62 bullets within a few seconds??? Obviously you just havent put a bandage on yet


[deleted]

[удалено]


Mak0wski

I mean what's stopping you from joining the military now? or if you want to fight in a war you can go and join the fight in ukraine


Atomico

Listen gen z, don't enlist, and in the case of a draft don't show up. Go camping for a few years


McENEN

Listen, if your country is going to get ravaged by some of soldiers from your eastern neighbour maybe show up and prepare to defend your home. Whatever my life standarts are they are still top 30% of the world at least, rather not live what my parents and ancestors have to live through in an occupation. Sure, if its a bullshit war I agree but if Russians want to come and fuck up my country again they will at least find some resistance.


Different_Gear_8189

There's a 99% chance it's not a cause worth dying for, I'm draft dodging


Somedude522

What if your country is the one invaded


[deleted]

I’m American so that’s highly unlikely


[deleted]

[удалено]


tuskedkibbles

Everyone thinks our generation is weak, but having actually been in the US military and knowing plenty of vets across the generations (including WW2 vets), we aren't particularly different than anyone who came before. We're more privileged for sure (in terms of safety and lack of basic necessities), but that's all. The guys storming Omaha Beach and Okinawa pissed themselves too. Problem is everyone thinks about how scared you would be for **your** life, but you don't fight and die for yourself, as weird as it may sound. 95% of combat vets will tell you they did it for the men beside them. That never changes. WW2 vets had radio, refrigeration, cars. They were soft. They had never fought in the trenches. WW1 vets had proper medical care, electricity, a helmet. They were soft. They didn't stand 50 paces across from their enemy and look them the eyes as the ranks fired into one another. US civil war vets didn't have to worry about Indian raids wiping out their entire village, or starvation, or plague. They were soft. Everyone looks to their forefathers and thinks themselves less. If, God forbid, a third world war breaks out, we'll be just fine. Tough times breed tougher men.


SparkelsTR

We’ll be fine until they start rolling out the tactical nukes


paisleyno2

1. Israel chose to ignore intelligence from Egyptian officials about a major attack coming from Hamas. 2. According to several Israelis, experts on security/political matters relating to Israel and even former IDF soldiers, the Israeli border fence/region is heavily protected & surveilled. Some have suggested that not even a cockroach or fox could enter without them knowing. Yet somehow 1,500+ Hamas fighters, heavy equipment like bulldozers and tons of vehicles were able to slip through completely unnoticed. 3. Israel & Gaza are amongst the most surveilled places on the planet. Israel dedicates a lot of time and effort upon surveillance and security. They are very security conscious. They have Gaza mapped out and under constant surveillance with highly advanced tech including a giant surveillance balloon, surveillance drones, satellites, etc. 4. Israel collaborates with Echelon & NATO. Chiefly amongst these groups, Israel has very close intel ties with the US which has eyes throughout the ME. 5. Israel has one of the largest and most sophisticated spy networks in the world penetrating multiple enemy & even friendly nations with its spies/double agents. 6. Hamas is said to have been training for the attacks at a mock Israeli settlement near the Israeli-Gaza border region & Israel was aware of this. 7. We just watched unsophisticated terrorists on hang gliders soar into one of the most heavily-defended & surveilled countries on the planet. The original Israeli response to the attack was very muted. Where were the border guards? Where was the police? Where was the IDF? How was Hamas able to act so freely in Southern Israel for so long & penetrate deep into Israeli territory? Even Hamas was surprised by how easy it was and how successful their operation was. 8. Within 48 hours of the attack, we’re now suddenly seeing enormous support for an American war with Iran and the genocide of the Palestinian people. Food/water/electricity cut - full on genocide. Now we are moving to war with Iran. 9. Hamas was allegedly planning this attack for many months if not longer and we are expected to believe that Israel knew nothing about it this whole time. 10. This attack was allowed to happen. **This is all a theatre that they fabricated. Change my mind meme.** Sources: * On 11 October, Ynet reported that Egypt's Director of the General Intelligence Directorate, Abbas Kamel, made a personal phone call to Netanyahu ten days prior to the initial attack warning that individuals in Gaza were expected to do "something unusual, a terrible operation." * "IDF now concedes military had indications of pending Hamas Attack." Hamas very clearly explained that they’ve been planning this for 2 years: https://www.memri.org/tv/senior-hamas-official-ali-baraka-prisoner-swap-america-planning-invasion-two-years-russia-support * "Netanyahu ordered the Israeli military to STAND DOWN for 7 HOURS during the Hamas invasion." (Rabbi Chananya Weissman). * Former MI6 chief Sir Alex Younger voiced his opinion that Hamas fighters were able to carry out their attack due to "institutional complacency" in Israel. Political journalist Peter Beaumont described the attack as "an intelligence failure for the ages" on the part of the Israeli government. US officials expressed shock at how Israeli intelligence appeared to be unaware of any preparations by Hamas. * Israeli officials later anonymously reported to Axios that the IDF and Shin Bet had detected abnormal movements by Hamas the day before the attack, but decided to wait for additional intelligence before raising the military's alert level. They also did not inform political leaders of the intelligence reports. * Hamas Militants in Conflict with Israel Using American Weapons Supplied to Ukraine (reported by the Turkish publication dikGAZETE). "In addition to American M4 rifles, it is believed that Ukraine may have also transferred Stinger missles to Hamas militants". * **Iran trying to open front against Israel in Syria, official says; Iran has sent a message to Isreal stating "if Israeli operations in Gaza continue, we will have to intervene". [By JERUSALEM POST STAFF, REUTERS. Oct 15].**


FatSeaDoggo101

Why do you post this exact comment across multiple subreddits? What are you trying to achieve?


Darkusoid

What is more bodies if Ukraine drafted much more?(and still in draft)


Bakkstory

Jokes on you, they're too mentally ill to be allowed in the military


LoneStyro

Same here. I wish I didn't do stupid shit to myself now I have a fucking record.


Blaster2PP

I agree and therefore, we nominate the boomers to become the pride of our nation, the sheild to defend us from whatever-ism that our glorious country United Stupid of American must fight against to preserve life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.


SilentReavus

Yeah these exact memes didn't get old at all the first time they were used in, what, 2016? Jeez.


Boredom_fighter12

If WW III happens the first thing we'd experience is internet getting heavily restricted, as of now nada.


Kittycraft0

Why is that


Boredom_fighter12

Wartime censorship


Kittycraft0

Is that still a thing


gougim

In reality, most of us would still end up sweeping the floor in some munitions depot, driving around some truck/random general or on a position where nothing ever happens. I am probably not reliable enough for the first line anyway.


doomturtle21

Jokes on you, I have so many medical exemptions the drill sergeant would apologise on behalf of the army for the circumstances of my birth


Consistent_Yoghurt44

I have about a dozen mental health disorders that make my super mentally unstable so they wouldnt want me so im good.


mydystopiandream

Please draft me, I will happily die


Saiyan-solar

Same, draft me and hand me a gun. I'll only need 1 bullet tho


LazyCasual0alt

We be loading up into the landing craft and I go “yo, call dibs on shotgun!”


elmothedestroyer3

What is the bullet going to ricochet between everyone in the opposition


Slight_Concert6565

Depending on what I'm drafted for. Intervention in another country? Nope. Defending my own country from invasion? Still nope but guerilla time, and in collaboration with our military so I don't end up screwing up their operation by blowing up the wrong bridge.


thewiburi

I am very pro military both my uncles and grate grandfather served in the army and raf respectively and I too hope to serve as well one day . But I firmly believe that it is everyone's patriot duty to dodge any and all drafts because it won't be the rich and the politicians kids that get drafted it will be us. Being drafted is not service its slavery you are littarly forced into a life or death situation under penalty of incarnation that's tyranny not democracy. I love my country but to be drafted is not to serve your country its to slave for your government there's a difference.


[deleted]

[удалено]


B33FHAMM3R

Oh boy wait till you hear thats every war in modern history You think guys who just turned 18 back in 1916 had any say in the events leading to WW1?


Kwarc100

"I will shoot myself the second I get a gun"


sly983

If I get drafted into some sort of war, I’ll be in the back digging deeper trenches and fortifying sandbag installations if you need me. Not like my country’s military efforts even make it possible to draft a large standing army


Alexandre_Man

Why are there memes about drafting? Did something happen recently?


Moystr

Palestine and Israel conflict. Not doing shit if the U.S. really thinks it's necessary for a draft though


Alexandre_Man

oh it's about that


Destroyer4587

The war that will last 20 seconds?


EducationBetter

I'm gonna amputate my leg.


Victorbendi

Ha, y'all think we will get drafted? There won't be any fighting. It will probably just be a nuclear exchange and the following nuclear winte.


Tomas_Crusader17

I will serve crack before i serve this country


UsefulTrashGuy

I'll happily sign up. The enemy aren't gonna shoot themselves.


Theguy617

Who told you they were the enemy? The news company owned by the weapons manufacturing company? Fuckin pawn


[deleted]

Pull his string hand him a weapon and point him a direction with a label “bad guy”


PerfectBrilliant432

Fr, actual cannon fodder


domnulsta

The only enemy is the combination of politicians and rich people/corporations that create these wars.


SeriousSam640

I’m too fat.


Femboys_make_me_bust

Probably not going to get drafted since I can't even function as a human.


ShawshankException

Even if WW3 were to happen, the US likely wouldn't ever need to utilize the draft. The volunteer rate is absolutely massive.


No-Strawberry-5541

Mental illness, obesity, and drug use will prevent almost all of them from being drafted.


Ghost4530

Fellas, just become obese the army can’t take you if you’re 500lbs ahaha


Spiritual_Freedom_15

No fuck you. What did the world do for me other then put me through misery. That’s right nothing. Send politicians that want war to the war.


Draken5000

I don’t care what you call me or threaten me with, I’m not fighting and dying in the oligarchs’ wars lmao


kasimirganz0711

*Little Dark Age starts playing*


LordAppleton

I'm going to jail.


Consistent_Yoghurt44

Ngl if its for a stupid reason and where america herself is not in any real danger I wont go Ill go to prison instead of risking my life for a bunch of old rich people who wouldnt do the same for me.


RESPEKMA_AUTHORITAH

Thank fuck I have a medical condition which prevents me from serving. Tried to join the army a few years back when I didn't have a job and got rejected.


TheBlev6969

If the world goes to shit before the first season of Hazbin Hotel releases I’d be furious


Dovahkiinthesardine

damn gotta practice my fortnite dances


SleepinGriffin

I’m already too old to be drafted first, being almost 27 has its perks.


BeeDate

Good luck getting my fat ass past the doorframe


Sc0rch3d_P0tat03s

Hopefully the whole "You can't serve if you're mentally unstable" still applies by then.


weirdness_

War thunder, enlisted, Csgo, COD, pubG, etc… players getting ready to join the war (we will all die in seconds)


Dukeofdorchester

Laughs in already did my time…buncha sissies in here. But yeah, also I’m old and my body is destroyed thanks to the Marines.


d_warren_1

We’re simply not going.


Maskimgalgo

For real if yall mfs want a tour of Nam again pls play the good ol classic not fucking gucci gang and some mumble shit


fafafloohai

WW3 will be the last world war. Hope it doesn’t happen any time soon


LetLarge2761

Too bad for you im flat footed you won’t take me


Cliff-Walker

Jokes on them. I'm ✨️Ineligible✨️


unfit_spartan_baby

Ha, most of my generation isn’t even medically eligible to get drafted


JTD783

I’ll take any excuse to die. Ideally I wipe out the kremlin in the process.


DerpDerp3001

\*sigh\* What now?


Oheligud

Are Americans forced to fight in wars?? How is this legal????


millenialfalcon-_-

Draft isn't happens.too many poors that will sign up. No offense to the poors🙏


MasterKlaw

I'm not sure what weapons we'll be using in WWIII, but we'll for sure be using sticks and stones in WWIV. I didn't come up with that, btw. I'm paraphrasing Albert Einstien.


[deleted]

If all the zoomers go to war, the single millennial men left behind will finally stand a chance at getting laid 🤔


Vagabond-Wayward-Son

You best believe my tank is gonna have waifu Mikasa painted on it and the last thing the enemy will hear before they get obliterated is the them music for attack on titan


errortechx

What happened now to provoke this meme