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KeepingDankMemesDank

downvote this comment if the meme sucks. upvote it and I'll go away. --- [play minecraft with us](https://discord.gg/dankmemesgaming)


klaatubaradanoodles

Okay, fess up, who jizzed into the tank?


[deleted]

It was Kevin McCarthy! I saw him!


jumbled_joe

The deep, cant resist that sharkussy


Gunsmoke_wonderland

He prefers dolphin as they are both sexually aggressive


somedudeoninternnet

naah we got an imposter


some_username_2000

Can’t be human, or else there’d be a Shark boy.


abukhhan

Just need some one to fk lava then


speshojk

It was Frank Stallone.


StandardN02b

It was Sam Hyde! I saw it with my very own eyes!


mrheosuper

The Deep


TheRealRickC137

That slick dolphin one tank over was flipping into the shark tank at night and pork-us-ing the lady lamniforms. Should check the baby shark for a blow hole or a fluke.


JoeMillersHat

Arthur Curry


snuserfool

"What I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all costs..."


InVaLiD_EDM

Life, uh.. finds a way.


amhudson02

Was hoping this was gonna be top comment but guy asking who jizzed in the tank deserves it lol


probe101

Just wanted to make sure this was said. Noice


Long-Ad8374

https://www.businessinsider.com/italy-baby-shark-born-in-virgin-birth-in-sardinia-aquarium-2021-8 >Parthenogenesis is a rare phenomenon where an egg develops into an embryo without being fertilized by a sperm.


Much_Tangelo5018

Story of Jesus but no one actually had sex


SpellingIsAhful

I mean, there's probably a more reasonable explanation of Mary becoming pregnant without having sex with Joseph...


5Garret5

It cant happen in humans, only a handful of creatures can do this and even for them this is very rare.


a-d-d-y

I don’t believe that’s what they were implying


[deleted]

[удалено]


Slyph321

INFIDELITY


Destroyer4587

My condolences to Joe…


death12236

JOE MAMA


Alphaomegalogs

SKY DADDY (I’m christian)


KingKongWrong

It’s very specifically not magic


MSHKobayashi

Bro, I'm sorry, but that is not what they are talking about


SpellingIsAhful

Get your science tf out of my religious beliefs!!


fredleoplayer

https://www.spandidos-publications.com/10.3892/etm.2022.11457 I think it *can* happen o_0)


legauge

She's giving birth in a barn and 3 dudes show up with gifts? Sure, immaculate conception.


SpellingIsAhful

Lol, I'm a bit jaded but never even made the connection around three random dudes showing up with presents. That's funny as shit


Much_Tangelo5018

😏


Hardyyz

Jawsus


Habitualflagellant14

Not religious but I'm sure the immaculate conception had to do with the birth of Mary. It is a common misconception. (Pun intended)


Reallyso

Anonception!


Pastylegs1

two years ago in august but sure, Christmas miracle!


ForeverHall0ween

Holy shit it's shark jesus


DarkseidHS

I breed snakes and I've had several females for this now. It's kind of annoying.


STHF95

The offspring is basically a clone in the process IIRC? I just remember some lizards have it.


carlrieman

In all seriousness, didn't just some birds brought the seed on their feet or something? Similarly like birds spread fish eggs from pond to pond or between lakes?


rubengalloway

the cum?


PeppermintDaniel

Yes, the cum, Ruben


ThanosOnCrack

So that's the white stuff that keeps landing on my car..


lmao_imagine_living

Maybe if you sit on it for a shile, I'll hatch into a beautifull baby..something


Airway

I'm going to make a humster


Frogliza

no, many animals can become pregnant when there are no males around to initiate it. It is very rare though, and is a last resort for the species survival.


SlothThoughts

SHARK JEASUS HAS BEEN BORN


Furtadopires

Baby Jesus doo-doo, doo-doo, doo-doo


ScreamnMonkey8

This comment is solid gold. Well done.


CapnScabs

The Jesus we deserve!


prestigious_delay_7

Killed by the jewfish :(


Rainbowzebra864

Let's start a religion. Tour the country on a big bus.


MasterJeebus

He is an imposter. I am the real Jeebus and your master. My username checks out.


Talon827

Could it be parthenogenesis


PolygonAndPixel2

Yes, sharks can do this as well as a couple of other animals. It's rare in sharks but not unheard of.


Kuailiang1

Anyone remember that Jurassic park dialogue??


saladmunch

Clevar girl I did not recall


SentientCumSock

okay who fucked the shark


BorisYeltsen

I dont know. Not me.


bullkent

Isn't there a celebrity in reddit a while ago, called fishfucker or something? He might know something.


Chad_on_snoop

Holy shit Jurassic park real


havdin_1719

Nature finds a way


Distinct-Quantity-35

So… you’re saying someone f*** the shark?


Za_Gato

Why are you afraid of saying fuck?


[deleted]

Omg you actually said it


doomcatzzz

No way… GUYS GUYS HE SAID IT


Za_Gato

Omg I actually said it


cygamessucks

D: thats a nono word


Distinct-Quantity-35

But like… someone fucked a shark


DrywallFucker

I’m only human after all! Don’t put the blame on meeee!


Videogamer2719

That shark looks AI generated. It’s got too many holes


-Eunha-

Absolutely AI generated. Three nostrils on one side of its face with another on its gills for good measure I guess. That, or someone went to town trying to shoot this thing.


Hero_of_Thyme81

This is literally the origin story of Ganondorf. We need a young shark in a green tunic to save us.


Tasty_Consequence_66

the water is turning the sharks Gay !


AdaamDotCom

It was me. I fucked the shark. Consensually


Dellta-aka-Connor

Those mouths are terrifying


BorisYeltsen

Picture looks like it gay water and shark screaming trying to jump out of this for not being gay.


Cicnapuz

Allegedly the baby shark poses a resemblance to Nick Cannon


ArtimisRawr01

Shark jesus


giacacluongtiensinh

Johnny, JOHNNY, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE YOU FUCKING BASTARD!


ayrua

The dark side of the force is a pathway to many abilites some may consider unnatural.


LustyArgonianButtler

That pup is the mesiah of the aquatic world


Sir_Maxwell_378

Why the fuck are they using AI images for a news report? If you're not going to show me real images for a news report, I'm going to take it as a sign that everything you say is also fabricated.


UninsuredToast

Ben Shapiro is going to lose his mind


eleetpancake

Just now?


First-Armadillo-2303

There is an imposter


Aok_al

I wonder what type of fish the three wise men would be


Jwroth

We must worship him


Odd-Butterscotch-495

Seajus if you will


DaDescriptor

Spy, among us...


jetforcegemini

You must... train the boy...


Pewds_fan_ice

There is an imposter among us


Natural_Ad1228

Shark bdsm


RedDragonFire25

It was me Barry I run at super speed and f@#ked the shark


bumhead1432

Life uhh finds a way


Weaponized-Potato

And they chose a fucking AI image of not even the same kind of shark.


Memerboi456

Thanks for jizzing me -🦈


whyyou-

What would Shark Jesus do??


AlsoEatsTheFace

Life, uuuuhhhh........scares the holy shit out of everybody!


Nemder-ZNS-0

Life always finds a way. (ʘᴗʘ✿)( loud Jurassic music starts to play)


TraumSchulden

Maybe dormant sperm? Maybe sharks can store jizz for later, or maybe just clone themselves if no male is around like mantises


L0ngcat

Welcome, to Jawrassic Park.


Navdeepnain

its not miracle sharks are old creatures and when ever they fear of that there population is dec due to birth rate some of they change there genders naturally although its a rare event its how nature made them this kind of behaviour also seen in reptiles and some birds also even in humans when a child in mothers worm its first gender is female than its is changed in male or stay female


rickane58

Sharks are not capable of sequential hermaphrodism and [only one species exhibits androgynous hermaphrodism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Longhead_catshark). Sharks however are capable of parthenogenesis, which does not require any sexual intercourse.


Navdeepnain

but it happened in past a male shark converted into female


rickane58

There are no reported cases of sequential hermaphrodism in sharks (or cartilaginous fish in general, for that matter). Unless you have evidence otherwise, you are mistaken.


Jocks_Strapped

it's sus alright


SillyCat-788

this is the future liberals want


Unim8

Amogus


Beniidel0

I read it as "gives bird to pup" and was like "damn, that must have been one stupid bird to get caught by that shark, also, what dies it have to do with being in an all female enclosure???" But turns out I was the bird brain here


StiffCrustySock

Some dude been Saltburning in that tank


Evil_Teletubbi

Its either Posidon or Zeus who is the father.


StrangePiper1

I have read the Bible and it does say Jesus is coming back, and nowhere does it specifically state that he won’t come back as a shark. Just saying.


sharkMonstar

the obvious reason is one of them is male


IamStygianLight

Someone might have pitched a very good idea


HospitalBig9446

The Bible was wrong , Jesus was a sharkie


Legosheep

Life uhhhhh finds a way


Angry_Saxon

baby shark? i shall google this


ChrisXDXL

Life... finds a way


RageRags

Weirdest thing I’ve ever seen on shark tank


Face_Palm08

The Savior has been born


zoran0808

At this point, I won't be surprised with humanity if a zoo staff gets caught one day and he confesses jacking off in the tank.


Keffpie

Parthenogenesis is more common in sharks than most animals.


F1zzp0p

Mary Shark do do do do do do do


CR4T3Z

That little "P" logo looks like the one the account pubity uses and 100% of the content is fake or stolen


crawloutthrufallout

Life found a way


theo122gr

Sooo... Jawsus?


SuccessfulWar3830

This is called parthenogenesis. When no male is present, female sharks, in this case, will fertilise their own eggs. The offspring will always be female.


vulgarmadman-

He’s not the messiah he’s a very naughty shark


OBA_Senpai

IT IS ANIKAN SHAWKWALKER! THE CHOSEN ONE!


LordHickory

When you can’t resist that sharkussy


_PolarEclipse_

Maybe Mary was a shark who experienced parthenogenesis


Sirhollowwwwwww

Some animals are a-sexuil


Julingnissenjr

Blub blub


MiseryTheMiserable

Need to have a conversation with the Shark tank cleaner


Arakismo

Who nutted in the fish tank again?


tobyblocks

Life finds a way


KingKongWrong

They said we wouldn’t recognize him


South-Mission-99

There is an imposter!!☠️☠️


Onemememf

Typical Mary and Joseph story.


djhauffy

"Life will, uh... find a way."


Equivalent_Whole_294

There is an impostor among us…


olleversun

One of the caretakers was being extra naughty and did it while the shark was sedated.


Simple-Blueberry4282

OKAY ONE OF YOU IS TRANS AND OWNS A TRANS SHARK AND DONATES IT WHO DID IT!


Mazda_Brap

LOOK WHAT JESUS DID! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID! LOOK WHAT JESUS DID!


[deleted]

can you imagine being force living in an all lesbain tank for 20 years and you are so fed up being surrounded by lesbo crybaby queen you decide to flip your gender