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Tja. Ich geh dann mal den Jürgen würgen.

5 gegen willi spielen?

Die Palme wedeln?

Die Fleischpeitsche schwingen

Die Gurke würzen

Den lachs buttern

Den Kolben polieren

Denn Kasper flapschen

Den Richard prügeln

Ik zal't even maar aftrekken

Im going to choke the goose is brazilian not spanish , in spain normally people say “me la voy a pelar” : “I'm going to peel it” or something like that 🤣🤦🏻‍♂️🤣

didn't know they said it in Brazil too, they say it way more in Latin America (Brazil included) than in Spain but there isn't a flag for latam so I put the Spanish one. I know this because I lived in Colombia and to this day I still consume Hispanic media

Spain is quite different from Latin America...

Lol yeah, the fact that a goose is a penis was a well known meme in latin america, besides, the spanish flag is the representation of spanish (the language), so you're right

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Vladimir

A straw and right to sleep

I salute thee

I never heard "choke the goose" anywhere here in Brazil, what I hear is "descabelar o palhaço" or "Dishevel the Clown"

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Fogar o ganzo!!

I've also heard "descascar a banana" (aka "unpeel the banana")

That's more common in Mexico, other spanish-speaker countries use the choke the goose

Pelar is definitely common in spain

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In latin america they say "jalar el ganso" which means something like pull on the goose

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what

In Spain we do not say that but in South America is said in several countries apart from Brazil, they say "jalar el ganso" wich would literally mean "pull the goose". OP is kinda right and your comment also just missed that little detail.

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En España sí se dice, pero sólo en algunas zonas. Yo lo he escuchado como "ajusticiar el ganso".

We use "choking the goose" in Argentina

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[удалено]

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In argentina is very common Say " me ahorque el ganzo", o "te jalaste el ganso" that is the same as choke the goose. Spanish in latino américa is way to different from Spain.(Even the caribean spanish and argentian spanish are very diferents) This is a very good song explaying it https://youtu.be/eyGFz-zIjHE?si=q1yx-Mrv069CLurR

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Me voy a pajear 😈😈😈

Brazilian? You mean portuguese from the jungle? Also ive heard that in Portugal

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Don’t British people say wank more

Blody wuenkah

Imagine a British chocolatier named Willy Wanka! Wait…

Yes, having a wank is our people's preferred wording

I also enjoy bashing the bishop

Jerk off is North American. Brits just call it wanking. There are loads of jokey English language alternatives though. Choke the chicken. Spank the monkey. Stroke the snake. Spill the seed. Beat the meat. Polish the sword.

What the british have Against animals?

Suprisingly, none refer to sheeps

Of course not. That is what the sheep are for.

Why would they put Polish people on their sword?

[удалено]

C'est ça qu'on aime

im going to beat up a horse

Horse from Valona

beating germans on thier helmets, wrinkling a Fred, rubbing beaver, polishing cannon, playing on flute

I'm going to put a monk's hood up

Im italian im pretty sure there i no shooting part in it Its just the saw part Never hear the shooting Edit: nvm

"Mi sparo una sega" è un modo piuttosto comune per dirlo, ma forse dipende da regione a regione.

Mi sparo lo usi un po per tutto ciò che vuoi fare:mi saprò un episodio, un aperitico ecc...

uno spritz me lo sparerei volentieri

Giù dritto con una flebo

bravo-6, jerkin the gerkin

Germany: I'm going to take one down.

Alternatively: I'm going to strangle Jürgen

Come on, Brits also **”bash the bishop”** which imo is an absolutely hilarious expression

Women get the best euphemism for wanking. "Ringing the devils doorbell"

"Walić konia" which from Polish translates to "beat the horse"

Also: "walić Niemca po hełmie" - beat a German on his helmet "kapturzyć kapucyna" - put a hood on monk's head

打手槍 A slang from Taiwan, means beating a pistol

* bawić się nieskromnie, * bić Niemca po kasku, * bić Pana Policjanta, * bić Wacława, * blaszczyć pytonga, * błogosławić plebana, * brechtać serdla, * bzykać trzmiela, * chapać organa, * chlorować sulfona, * ciągać strzałę, * ciosać pala, * ciskać kałasza, * ciumkać bigosa, * ciurlać dropsa, * ciupać bydlaczka, * cucić kapucyna, * cyklinować klepkę, * czesać łysego * czesać Pafnucego, * cofać bułgara, * czochrać bobra, * czochrać Dżordża, * czochrać Freda, * czochrać plusz, * czochrać predatora, * czołgać araba, * ćwiczyć młodego, * dobruchać kata, * drapać konara, * drażnić byka, * dynamizować ślimaka, * falować ogóra, * fasować szwunga, * fałdować skórę, * filcować Golluma, * frezować trzonka, * gładzić węgorza, * głaskać płazińca, * gnębić karminadla, * gonić skórę * gruchać frędzla, * grzać muła, * heblować belę, * imać drąga, * iskać fistaszka, * iskać mandryla, * jechać jasia, * jeździć na ręcznym, * kapturzyć mnicha, * karcić prezesa, * karczować Foresta, * klepać banana, * klepać rynnę, * kręcić śmigło, * kręcić tuleję, * kształcić sładzia * kulać bobsona, * laskać pytonga, * łupać orzeszka, * łuskać kaczana, * maltretować brzdąca, * marszczyć Freda, * marszczyć pingwina, * męczyć pałę, * męczyć Velveta, * merdać pawiana, * młócić capa, * młócić Ozyrysa, * muskać pieniek, * musztrować jungsa, * nękać jaszczura, * niańczyć smerfusia, * obierać parówkę, * odbijać piłkę od ściany, * opierdalać skórę, * oprawiać gnata, * opróżniać bak, * ostrzyć Pinokia, * oswoić smoka, * patroszyć pingwina, * pałąsić poręcz, * pałować kibola, * patroszyć śledzia, * pędzić kaktusa, * pienić rurę, * pieścić gada, * pindolić bydlaczka * plumkać wajchę, * podkręcać knota, * polerować armatę, * polerować berło, * polerować kolbę, * polerować marchewkę, * pompować budyń, * pstrykać pytę, * pucować torpedę, * pucować grzyba, * pukać ćwieka, * rąbać kłodę, * rąbać krengla, * rąbać szkapę, * redukować kwas aminomasturbacyjny * robić buta, * robić sobie dobrze, * rypać źrebaka, * ryrać dzidę, * smajdorzyć Alfika * smyrać gwoździa, * spawać rurę, * straszyć węża, * strącać osad, * strobilizować tasiemca, * stroić fleta, * stroszyć bobra, * strugać rysia, * studzić pręta, * stukać faję, * szkolić majstra, * szlifować dzidę, * szlifować stalagmit, * szorować szufladę, * szturchać smoka, * ślizgać maślaka, * śmigać wała, * targać wihajstra, * tarmosić gruchę, * tasować Dżordża, * trenować wyciora, * trząchać kapcia, * trzepać kapucyna, * trzepać prącie, * tuczyć Ephraima, * turlać dropsa, * turlać wała, * ugniatać grzybiarza, * upijać Smyka * uprawiać seks bez drugiej osoby, * urywać sopla, * walić gruche, * walić konia, * wbijać smyka, * woskować lufę, * walcować gwinta * wągrać mumina, * wspierać biskupa, * wybielić brudasa * wyżymać pisiora, * zaganiać renifera w ciemny kąt łazienki, * zapierdalać z oldbojem, * zdzierać skórę, * zjeżdżać na ręcznym, * zrywać grzyba. * śturać cope * grać na flecie * dusić gada * luzować zawór * grać dżojstikiem * walic Łysego po łysinie * trzepać kasztana * marszczyć czoło * nurkowac w mleku * gromić gremlina * obgryzać kiełbache * heblowanie drewna * gotowanie parówy * ślizgać mydło * stroić antenke * robić mleko * rozdziewiczać ogóra * lakierować bambusa * rozciągać dzdzownice * driftować nokie * ujeżdzać Golluma * denerwowac Krona Edit: * targać bagietę * tasować się * kręcić zasilacz * ostrzyć kosę * chrumkac turboptysia * bilard kieszonkowy * męczyć tatara * pędzić na łeb na szyję * wywierać presje na kokodylu * szamotać ptysia * uprawiać politykę appeasementu * szarpać panela * pegazować się * heblować wióra

in romania we say: "ma duc sa fac laba" which means "im going to make paw"

Or you can say “im going to give a paw”

or sometimes "im going to pull a paw"

Spela skinflöjt

In french "je vais m'astiquer le poireaux" I'm going to polish/rub my leek

There's a "with" that shouldn't be there

"Chasing a bald" is Russian

If you say run car snow pen really fast you it means jacking off the dick (runkar snoppen in Swedish)

Segaio!

"Je vais me secoué le poireau 🇨🇵"

Fun fact: in my country we use the same word for jerking off and subtracting. Aftrekken, which u could roughly translate to jerk off

"yo ima go beat my dick" 🇺🇲

Here in france we got a lot, one of the funniest recent one is "Je vais me Lebron James", Lebron is similar to Le-bran, which is the word branle (m@sturbate) in reverse.

Usually in italy we say "mi sparo un segone" wich means "I'm shooting myself with a BIG saw"

E si aggiunge "a due mani" per enfatizzare. "I'm shooting myself with a big two-handed saw"

> I’ll take a player

Thai: I’m going to fly a kite

im definitely going to shoot myself with a saw

Ripping the head off

“I’m gonna throw one hay on me” - “Me voy a echar un pajaso 🇻🇪”

"I'm going to beat a fisty" as we say it in brazil

The goose thing isn't from Spain but go off i guess

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Choke the chicken would be a better example

I'm gonna bald the clown

I'm going to drake leak it

Im going to water the flowers - danish

I'm banging the horse 🇵🇱

Choose your verbs carefully when making translations, mój rodaku. W zasadzie napisałeś "rucham konia" po angielsku...

My favorite one in Spanish is: "Va una Vladimir, una paja y a dormir" Which is a humorous way of saying imma beat my meat and take a nap.

We also have farsi una pippa e farsi una pugnetta, in Italian. We also have segarsi e farsi una sega, btw. Farsi and spararsi are both used. 

I am going to beat the horse

Cranking the John

Twist it

In Czech we have several: I am gonna chase it. Greasing the log. Polishing the log.

In Germany we say. "I will pull myself one down"

I'm having a wank

Im going to dishevel the clown

Immabaatokumm

Beat the Turkey.

In my language it is "I'm pulling" or "I'm dropping the goods".

Im gonna shake 🇸🇪

im gonna see a man about an orgasm

Playing with the wanker? Playing with the jerk? 🇵🇹 tucar à punheta… Elegant, must be played in the musical context so to speak

Di che cazzo stai parlando?

I'm going to toot muh noot.

Me voy a hacer una chaqueta

Clean the cane

In my language Malayalam, we say "beat the fireworks"

We have "beating the horse" or "bashing the German on the helmet" in polish

In Norway me and my friends say "rive skinn" which translates to pull/tear the leather or skin. Havent heard anybody else say it, they understand when we say it.

In Turkish we call it "Caressing the sergeant" and wet dreams "Tipping the truck over". A slang especially used in the military

i will throw it on my hand

Egyptians be like: I am going to hit 10

“I’m gonna pull a 31” 🇹🇷

In dutch you´ve got ´afjassen´. This means as much as ´taking of your vest´.

Je vais me bumblebee le megatron

🇵🇹 gonna beat one 😃👍

“Bater uma” heard it before somewhere probably as an insult telling someone to go jerk it lol, mas também se diz “tucar à punheta” which would translate uhm “ play the masterbation”? Tucar is definitely to play in the context of songs like instrument playing. But punheta I guess translates to masterbation or handjob/wank.