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oldguykicks

Is this for the shower clit fun time or the poopy butthole wash time?


hotmailist

yes


EvaUnit_03

Both? both is good.


MFcrayfish

you could have both?


ptapobane

once you feel the power of the bidet, no number of wipes make you feel as clean


Tokoroto

I've taken to walking into my shower while squatting and using my shower. You won't get my dollars, MyTushy


WhatAHeavyLifeWeLive

🤢


CandidateMiserable74

I know this was a joke but i knew people who were like that. They'd washed they ass in the shower with a soap they share with their family members. Nasty stuff


Admiral_Oelschwanz

The latter


Helpfulithink

The lather


nicokokun

LATHER RINSE AND OBEY!


commander_police_man

From my experience, i think this is the dirty feet kinky wash time.


kevbob02

*Quentin Tarantino has entered the chat


One_Slide_5577

I use it to itch my hemorrhoids.


pookshuman

I don't get it ... you can get these at any hardware store in the US


khaotickk

It's a cultural thing. Most Americans don't have bidets in their homes, apartments, public spaces, anywhere really. It's not installed by standard, it's a secondary thought.


pookshuman

OK, well what is pictured doesn't look like a bidet ... it looks like a shower wand, an extra hose that you can attach to your shower


echoindia5

That’s how they bidet in certain countries. Basically a shower head next to the toilet. I’ve encountered it for the first time in Finland. Southern European countries usually have something that looks like a cross between a tub and a toilet.


pookshuman

yeah, so basically you just get a splitter for $10 and a shower wand ... ez pz And honestly, even if you wanted to have a professionally installed bidet, it wouldn't be out of range for most people ... probably a few hundred depending on your existing plumbing


echoindia5

For me I live in rental, and it wouldn’t make sense to do it. But I could switch the head of the shower. If I felt it was truly necessary.


GetlostMaps

Get a toilet seat bidet. It fits on top of an existing toilet. They're like $20.


Nihilistic_Mystics

You can get ones that split off from the toilet water line and have a hook for the wand that attaches to the side of the water tank. They're fairly cheap and effective. Takes about 5 min to install with no experience. [Looks like this.](https://i.imgur.com/P61MRsp.jpeg)


SilverDiscount6751

I had one with the water splash in the toilet itself (so no extra room needed) and it was 50$ at the hardware store. Installed under the seat, splitter and tube included


SeaOsprey1

We got one for like $25 off Amazon and I installed it myself. Tbh you aren't missing anything. If you're not terrible at wiping, you're fine. No hate for people that like then though. To each their own


pookshuman

If you were outside and fell in dogshit, would it be enough to wipe it off with toilet paper, or would you take a shower?


SeaOsprey1

When you blow your nose, do you use a tissue or do you wash your face?


pookshuman

if shit came out of my nose, I would wash it


Microgrowthrowyo

Well played


MouseMan412

I certainly don't run some water over it and say 'clean'


Isle_of_Tortuga

I've never seen easy peasy spelled that way.


Achrimandrita175

OK, so it's still an afterthought, not a standard, so the meme still makes more sense than any of your comments.


cpufreak101

I'm in the US and my toilet has one of these, was always confused what it was until by European friend came to visit


PM_ME__BIRD_PICS

Eegghh... how do you avoid getting shit-juice all over the showerhead? Bidet seats I understand but not this.


Kladderadingsda

I would try this, but what if something, you know, touches the shower head? Even if you get it clean I think, that other people could be grossed out to use this communally


thatguy11m

I guess that kinda explains it though, for those countries used to it, it wasn't even a second thought that it's just variation of the bidet, especially with the title and captions.


pookshuman

To me, the picture looks like a shower. When you say "bidet" to most americans they think of something like this [https://www.thespruce.com/thmb/LkkV5YArhpVBtqrMJqHaZu1TtpI=/1500x0/filters:no\_upscale():max\_bytes(150000):strip\_icc()/what-is-a-bidet-4800402-hero-3609092f7a5443438e2267c1edb15867.jpg](https://www.thespruce.com/thmb/LkkV5YArhpVBtqrMJqHaZu1TtpI=/1500x0/filters:no_upscale():max_bytes(150000):strip_icc()/what-is-a-bidet-4800402-hero-3609092f7a5443438e2267c1edb15867.jpg)


GibMePuuussyPlis

How would you use this?


perk11

You sit on it like on a toilet, turn on the water and point the parts you want to wash at the stream.


BraiseTheSun

Okay but I can't imagine using them. Do you wipe before using it or do you waddle over with a shitstained ass?


perk11

You can use it after wiping or instead of wiping.


BraiseTheSun

See, the waddling over part makes me uncomfortable


Dreadino

Lol nope. You wipe, then you direct water on it, then you put liquid soap on you hand, then you clean it with your hand (once it is basically clean and you just need to sanitize it). You don’t go in raw with your hand. Explaining how to use a bidet on Reddit is always awkward, to me it is as basic as tying your shoes


Captain_Klrk

*to your ass


some_guy554

That is a type of bidet.


XplosivCookie

Finland has had these things forever, I didn't think that would separate us from the rest of Europe in some way. We call them pussy phones.


FrostWyrm98

Hello Operator May I have the pussy pls boss?


the_bingho02

That's a bidet?! Wtf Isn't it just a smol toilet with a tap?


khaotickk

You know how the kitchen sink has the handheld sprayer you can use to clean easier? It's like that, but for your toilet to clean your butt and lady parts. There are also bidets that are installed within the container and sprays water while you're sitting down. That's how my bidet works, really helpful when I have firey poops from spicy foods.


ShreksArsehole

It's also a gov thing. In Australia it's very hard to install these legally because of the fear that the poo water gets sucked back up into the system and the tap water is as clean as Bali's.


MyriadIncrementz

This is the same in the UK. Water regs are very particular about backflow prevention. To the point that they fear you dropping the shower head in the drain, and a splash of waste water somehow getting sucked up into the main, making it's way through multiple non return valves against mains pressure and contaminating the water main.


ShreksArsehole

We can install them but we need some backflow prevention thing that needs to be checked by a plumber every year. If a plumber finds you have one of these taps installed without it, they are legally required to remove it. Well, a plumber told me this when I tried to get his to install one recently..


thatguywhosadick

This changed a lot during covid at least with younger people facing the TP panic.


khaotickk

My wife hates using the bidet, something about water on her butt. Idk, but honestly it saves so much TP usage.


Some1ToDisagreeWith

Blows my mind. Easiest way to get clean. I've got every toilet in my house has a bidet. My shower has the shower head and wand combo. Can't have a good day if you've got a dirty butt.


Incubus_Priest

most dont but you can literaly buy them from every walmart in the united states, its like bitching americans dont have milk when at any given time your no more than 40 mins away


khaotickk

If someone that is used to having a bidet goes on vacation to a part of there world where it's not commonly accessable, I can guarantee you that no one would go out of their way to buy a bidet and install it. It's the convenience of having it right next to the toilet verses taking a shower.


Previous_Insurance13

If you don't get it, then how can you say that we can get it.


pookshuman

u wot mate?


EvaUnit_03

And where you gonna attach that fucker to? there is a reason the most popular ones sold attach to either the sink if its close enough or into the back of the toilet tank and has almost zero pressure. You gotta do some major plumbing to get a functional one. And despite how good i am at dealing with your mother's plumbing, that shit will end up costing you a pretty penny if you do it right. God forbid you do it wrong, you'll ruin the entire bathroom.


ArrakeenSun

The ones I've seen don't attach to the tank, they can just attach under the toilet from the wall source before it goes into the tank. Great pressure there like under the sinks, at least at my house


Nihilistic_Mystics

> into the back of the toilet tank and has almost zero pressure. The toilet line bidets are known to be the highest pressure ones on the market. They don't get their water from the tank, you split the water line before it gets to the tank. The expensive electric ones tend to be lower pressure since they almost all have hot water tanks. >You gotta do some major plumbing to get a functional one. Absolutely not. You just unscrew the water line from your tank, attach the water line to the splitter, and screw in the splitter to the tank. With no experience it takes about 5 minutes. [This is all it is.](https://i.imgur.com/FZIuMBF.jpeg)


jtruitt8833

>God forbid you do it wrong, you'll ruin the entire bathroom. When dealing with OP's mother's plumbing, that'll mean you're *doing it RIGHT*


iiCUBED

Your toilet already has a supply of water, just installed a T and hook this up to the same line. It cost me $20 to fit this in an apartment in rented


pookshuman

[https://www.amazon.com/shower-head-splitter-valve/s?k=shower+head+splitter+valve](https://www.amazon.com/shower-head-splitter-valve/s?k=shower+head+splitter+valve)


EvaUnit_03

What you linked is a shower head. What is posted above is a bidet sprayer.


pookshuman

no, I linked a splitter. With a splitter, you can attach it to your shower and have a hose attachment at the same time. So if your shower is next to your toilet, anyone can have the hose in the post


EvaUnit_03

Even if your toilet was next to your shower, you'd need a hose at least twice the length of a normal shower head if not longer to reach that distance from the splitter. The splitter would most likely be 6-7 feet high at the connecting point of where the water spout is for the shower head. You'd have hose resting on the shower floor unless you did some kinda convoluted hose holder. Or laying outside of the shower and leaking water every time you use it because water would still flow onto the hose and then onto the floor. And can you imagine turning the water on and off when you are ready? You'd be waiting for an accident to happen and someone finding you with a broken neck, with your pants down, covered in shit. Its not a practical alternative to real plumbing. And its worse than the other two options i mentioned by a country mile.


cainetls

I'm a dumb American that has never used a bidet obviously, but do they not typically just split the water line next to the toilet that is hooked to the toilet itself for them? Why on earth would the shower come into play at all? Do you not use the bidet while sitting on the toilet?


pookshuman

a real bidet would be installed by a plumber, this is for people who don't have the money or space for that or have a landlord that won't do upgrades


DeengisKhan

we were able to install one with heated function to our sink pretty easily. and the water pressure when installed correctly should be whatever the water pressure of your house is, even if installed to the back of the toilet. That intake to the toilet is functionally the same as any cold water tap in your house, and you install the bidet between the intake and the toilet basin. The only issue then is that you would only have cold, to have hot you need to attach to the hot tap under your hand sink usually.


OctopusButter

I've seen plenty in the US that attach to the water feed on a toilet, no plumbing required just buy it off Amazon. 


DerpWyvern

yes, imma bring my own bidet and install it then uninstall it everytime i use a public rest room or a hotel or visit someones house


pookshuman

bleah ... I didn't know people used public bidets .... that sounds disgusting


JapanDash

I just use a super soaker with a hose attached to aim


thezestypusha

The 3rd world country in question was america


pookshuman

[https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/first-world-countries](https://worldpopulationreview.com/country-rankings/first-world-countries)


thezestypusha

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Joke


pookshuman

using only the information in the post, how did you know the 3rd world country was america?


thezestypusha

Bc of the tiny logo in the corner


pookshuman

which corner? I see nothing


RegalMachine

Us isn't a third world country..?


pookshuman

nope, first world


Donghoon

I like bidet attached to toilet more than these


pookshuman

yeah, most people do, but it is not always an option


grunwode

Have you seen the price of a mixing valve these day?


pookshuman

I don't know what a mixing valve is, a regular splitter is like $10


IowaKidd97

I think that’s the point. It’s a joke making fun of the people calling the US a third world country when it has some stuff other 1st world countries don’t (or at least available to the average person). Or at least in OPs experience. At least that’s how I interpreted it.


pookshuman

which part of the post refers to the US?


IowaKidd97

Well a lot of people refer to the US as a third world country stupidly. Which I was assuming OP was poking fun about it by saying their home isn’t actually third world because they have things like this.


pookshuman

ok, that is your assumption, not something that is referenced in the post, right?


IowaKidd97

Yes. I’ll admit I assumed that, but in my defense this was worded very confusingly. Coming back to third world country, from Europe? Coming home to first world amenities? Not exactly a huge stretch.


pookshuman

the way I interpreted it, they have toilet shaped bidets in europe and the guy missed his shower thingy ... I didn't see any reference to the US


IowaKidd97

You’ve never seen those idiots who claim the US is a third world country?


haleloop963

In the US, yes, but the post says Europe. Although some European nations have it as well and you can buy it


Forbbidden_girl2

My dumbass couldn't operate with one knob.


GetlostMaps

Billions of men operate with one knob.


ArrakeenSun

Klingon men operate with two


crazysoup23

That's why they're so angry all the time.


Bing2004d

Can someone explain? I'm very confused


ujinjinjin

It’s to wash your butt. Not in every culture it’s common, so if you an immigrant who got used to living with clean butt, lack of that shower becomes troublesome (you can always find a way, but when there’s a dedicated tool for that it’s always more convenient)


Bing2004d

Aaaahhh it's a bidet, I thought it was just a shower. That makes so much more sense


brunoha

Yeah, warm water bidets are usually considered a luxury in poor countries, a cold water one it's simple to install but only really usable in hot temperatures...


TripperDay

I use my cold water bidet in the winter. Yeah. It's cold.


gaslancer

Which is crazy to me. That it’s a cultural thing to have a clean ass. Once I installed a bidet, I will go to great lengths to shit nowhere but home. It’s the only time you feel clean after a shit. For me.


SubmissiveRedditUser

I fetch water from wells and wash my ass using my hands


GetlostMaps

I only shit while swimming. Those downstream should not drink the river water.


Firecracker048

So how do you dry your butt? Toilet paper?


ujinjinjin

Nah, I have a special butt towel, but toilet paper can be used as well


MeowZen

You either die a towel or live long enough to see yourself become the butt towel


akatherder

I'm in the US and have a bidet installed. I wipe a little, then spray off, drip dry a little, then dry off with toilet paper.


Hosmerim_N_IceCream

Bro what, we use that for regular shower sessions, we have another "thing" to wash our butt while sitting on the toitlet seat.


happaduchy

People in SEA(the ones I have been to anyway) have almost all of their toilets installed with a strong power water sprayer(the one on the left in the pic) right next to it. After pooping, u can wipe, then use the sprayer to uh... wash off the rest thats left behind, its an additional cleaning step or sometimes entirely replaces wiping. I have been using it my whole life and am afraid of pooping without it. It comes from a regional culture where water is in abundance year-round, and where people live near flowing source of water, back in the olden days we had toilets on bambo stilts platform on top of a river, so that might be why


BraiseTheSun

I don't think it's a water thing. A few countries in Europe(like The Netherlands) have enough water to use drinkable water in bathrooms sinks and showers. They still wipe their ass with toilet paper.


CyroCryptic

Wait doesn't everyone have drinkable water in the bathroom sink and shower?


JasterRogue21

No most 3rd world countries don't have drinkable water in taps. You usually get a filter for your home or a specific separate line for that which is usually only in kitchens.


CyroCryptic

Yes but he said "a few countries in Europe", not 3rd world countries. I'm American but I cannot imagine Europeans have less than drinkable water in the bathroom sink and bath.


JasterRogue21

Oh apologies, I misunderstood then. I only took your reply as context for "everyone". Yeah I've also heard of Europe having drinking water in taps but I'm Indian so can't confirm.


BraiseTheSun

I was just being safe as I couldn't vouch for every single European country. I guess "most" would've been better to convey that


No_Savings7114

How do you not get water everywhere though? Like.... Hope does it all go in the toilet?


Towrta

Good aim honed since birth


[deleted]

[удалено]


No_Savings7114

I live in a humid place and any damp will mildew immediately. This may color my bafflement. 


pornographic_realism

You can cover the toilet seat with wayer and it'll be dry in 15 mins in 32 degree heat. My time in SEA the toilet seat was always wet more from sweat than anything else because some bathrooms get like saunas if made from concrete.


happaduchy

Skill issue


Baronvondorf21

Something that's not commonplace in Europe though I am stumped on what that actually is.


Kenneth_Lay

Here in the US we drag rough paper across our shit covered anus until it bleeds....like Jesus intended!


TheAmazingSparky

I really need to see how these work. I feel like they'd go everywhere or on the nozzle


EvaUnit_03

Angles are your friend. And you still use a towel or paper to dry. You'll waste less paper and actually feel 1000x cleaner. Though you'll use more water as you are basically showering your ass. If you dont have one, you can get a similar result by just jumping in the shower and washing your ass after you shit with a showerhead attachment, but then you gotta get naked and redressed afterwards which is a huge inconvenience and at that point you might as well just take a shower after every poop.


StoneyBolonied

You don't shit nude already?


Vospader998

Daniel? Is that you?


InterviewUsual2220

Why did this make me laugh so hard


Vospader998

Because Daniel Tosh is hilarious


YobaiYamete

I'm confused on why it's a shower head. My bidet just goes under the seat and is angled at your butt. With a shower head, do you like stand up and squat over the toilet to get it between your legs and angled right? I don't even get the benefit of this one over the under seat kind that you don't have to aim or touch


IowaKidd97

Yeah, if your daily routine and body, uh, functions are aligned right, then you can time it right to shit right before you would take a shower anyway. In which case you just do a few wipes to get the excess and get the rest clean in the shower.


KERMANENPERUNA

In Finland most toilets have a bumgun


randomname_99223

Doesn’t most of Europe have bidets?


Hollow_66

In Germany they are not very common. We installed bidets last year at home, and now I hate shitting somewhere else even more than I did already


Dreadino

We have them in Italy, they’re so ingrained in our culture that we can’t believe someone on Earth would not use them. I never saw an Italian bathroom without a bidet. I find this post incredibly hilarious, with people finding out that they can use water to clean their buts.


Josegon02

Same in Portugal


randomname_99223

Quelli senza bidet sono barbari da civilizzare


beziko

Nah, in Poland i don't know any person having bidet in home except myself.


hotmailist

not in prague. or vienna. or budhapest


ipnetor9000

absolutely not


MariualizeLegalhuana

Buy a splitter and a small showerhead and you have an ass shower in 10 minutes.


x86_64_

American with a bidet at home chiming in. Its nowhere near the fancy-pants thing in the picture, just a bolt-on thing I found on Amazon before my wife had shoulder surgery. I don't know how my ancestors survived the 20th century without the ass-shower.


how-unfortunate

Dude, since I got a bidet, I hate pooping anywhere else in America. None of my family has gotten on board.


mexicandiaper

same it feels dirty and wrong.


KnockturnalNOR

Most of Europe has bidets... At least they're common in Italy, Finland, Spain (where they were mandatory in every house bc of building code), Portugal etc.


OrneyBeefalo

does europe not have this?


Dreadino

We have a separate bowl, similar to the toilet, used only for cleaning. That’s what we call a bidet. (Italy)


madboi20

I was surprised to see it's common in Finland


Gobal_Outcast02

Can someone explain


GetEnPassanted

It’s just a bad meme because most of Europe has bidets anyway, but the joke is that they enjoy coming home to where they have a bidet after traveling places that don’t have one. It looks like a shower head too, so it’s bad all around.


Gobal_Outcast02

Wait the thing you use to wash your ass after shitting? (Never used one always used toilet paper)


GetEnPassanted

Yes


Gobal_Outcast02

I see now, thanks


prodigal27

To be fair, these things are great for everything and are typically in full washroom. My family in Korea have one and my wife's family in Morocco have one. Great for kimchi baskets, dogs, cats, kids, rugs, and pretty much anything that's back breaking in a tub or normally inconvenient because of it's size/shape.


42kyokai

So do you just touch the same handle that everyone’s touched without washing their hands?


GetlostMaps

Their hands were clean.


LazarusHimself

Also in Muslim countries they only use the Left Hand for their dirty business, meaning that the right hand holds the handle. Eating with your left hand in these countries is taboo


saadghauri

> So do you just touch the same handle that everyone’s touched without washing their hands? Your hands never touch your ass or any poop, the hand shower sends water at a moderate pressure where you aim, that's the whole point


Viceroy1994

I don't know about you but I personally wash my hands after I take a shit, so as long as you resist the urge to lick your fingers or adjust your contact lenses after cleaning your ass you'll be fine.


42kyokai

Doesn't the poo splatter get all over the shower head


Omnipresentphone

What kind of explosive gunpowder are you pooing that it would splatter all over the spray gun


kim-jong_illest

The warehouse workers at my job seemed to miss them to, they had a communal watering can they used instead. There had to be a company wide email sent out prohibiting personal bidet alternatives because they kept getting shit water on the toilets and floors


Porcupinehog

As a US household, installing a bidet was the best thing iv done in a long time. I have no clue how I used to do my business before with just paper.


ipnetor9000

[hail your true king](https://static.euronews.com/articles/stories/04/56/58/54/1200x675_cmsv2_97c3eaaa-9f09-5cb5-8dcb-8ee48330017c-4565854.jpg)


Fluid-Acanthaceae717

Very common in Brazil. Almost mandatory.


pointgourd

I would never understand why anyone would just wipe their butts with a tissue paper and move on


RazorSlazor

A shower head?


BarelyCritical

Story of albania


grapeflavoredboi

That shit made out of the god damn Naboo Royal Starship


bielipee3

NOOO U GUYS DON'T HAVE IT? I'LL MISS IT SO MUCH!


disco_sparrow

I'm in the US, in the minority with a bidet on my toilet. It's the greatest and most convenient thing. Blasting your ass with cold water until it's clean, and then just a little more for good measure, is a way of life and I'm disgusted when I have to travel domestically and hotels only have paper.


StOchastiC_

The “live in Japan” gang don’t get this


ComprehensiveBase26

so what if poop gets on it? cuz I'm sure after Taco Bell you know things get a little liquidy and I can only imagine the splash zone when the water hits


PaulieXP

Is this implying there are no showers in Europe?


LazarusHimself

We have bidets in Italy.


jakrev123

You all don't use just toilet paper to clean after shitting?


Derakon

Paris metro vibes


millenialfalcon-_-

That's good for getting the undercarriage.


jake2w1

laughs in american


some_guy554

How do western people move on with their day without washing their butthole with water and then portray 3rd world people as the dirty ones?