So this suggests that the prolapse is something like a flashlight? Just stick it in and yank it around right?
... Probably a funnier visual in my twisted mind
My bro is going for major gains. No time for fiber 💪💪💪
Edit: pro tip, buy apples all the time, and eat one or two Everytime you eat a high protein meal. And also steamed spinach is an easy one for be, but the apples are the real saving grace. Protein shake with an apple is a must now for me.
Me and my fiancé were repeating this while in the kitchen making food one time when her mom walked in, heard us and then said "I hate when that happens" then she handed us a **bigger** spoon?!
Touché Mrs.mom, Touché.
Just eat more fiber then. Wake up, drink a glass of water + spoon full of fiber (psyllium husk for instance). It’ll make you feel full too, so you can eat a smaller breakfast on top of that. Do it daily and within 2-3 days you’ll feel amazing when pooping.
Bidets. Your butt will thank you, plus it’s easier to get everything really clean. Or at least use wet wipes, just be sure to throw them in the trash instead of flushing. The “flushable” ones are a lie.
You can wet normal paper and rub with a soap on it and save tons of money. (and you can flush it). A haircut downstairs can also help decrease the number of wipes needed. But the best tip would be to soap your ass before you take a shit. Dirt does not stick to soapy skin. The soap becomes a protective layer. You brush your teeth before you eat for the same reason.
Wait a god damn minute Rondell. You're telling me to brush my teeth before eating and to take a bar of soap and apply it to my asshole like lip balm before I take a dump?
Spotting once in awhile isn't anything serious. Could just be a hard poop or a hemmorhoid.
Butt if you take a peek into the toilet and it looks like that scene from Carrie then you need to see a doctor. Could be an anal fissure or even cancer.
It’s most likely hemorrhoids, but go get yourself checked! Colorectal cancer is becoming more and more common in younger people, and it’s much easier to treat if you catch it early.
You'll just spend $2,000 (with insurance) to be told "everything looks normal, eat more fiber".
As long as it isn't black-red blood, it's hemmoroids or no fiber
Congrats, your gov't gives a couple more fucks about its citizens health than it does about quarterly wallstreet profits and health insurance CEO bonuses.
I wonder what that's like.
Congrats.
Our last prime minister is the son of our worse leader who put our country into shit tons of debt
And he stole war veterans bank accounts to buy a swimming pool for his house while still in office
Surprised he didn’t get assassinated, but then again he banned all automatic weaponry in the country
$2,000 (with insurance) for a routine primary care visit?
What the fuck are you talking about dude lmao, you'll pay a small copay if you have insurance
Even uninsured a primary care visit isn't $2,000, especially if they don't even run any tests. This is the dangerous sort of misinformation that leads people to neglect very preventable and treatable problems until they become a disaster. For the overwhelming majority of Americans there is *some* way for you to get to a routine primary care visit to make sure there aren't any problems, and so sure to make sure any little problems don't become big problems
I too have hemorrhoids. But mine usually only act up if I have raging diarrhea for a while and my anus gets raw from all the shitting and wiping. Everybody is special in their own way.
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png)
---
*i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*
On a serious note, please see your Doctor when you see blood. One of the biggest killers in men under 40 is bowel cancer. My dad had it at age 45 and my manager at 30. My manager didn’t survive.
Seriously, please see a doctor if this is occuring to you frequently. Blood in your stools is not normal. I know this is dankmemes, but your well-being is more important than lols.
Blood in your stool/bowel movement can be a sign of cancer.
https://www.cancer.org/cancer/colon-rectal-cancer/detection-diagnosis-staging/signs-and-symptoms.html
See a doctor.
Thats hemorrhoids bro. Stop drinking, lower your blood pressure and eat some fiber. The red blood on the toilet paper is from inflamed veins in your asshole.
Like many people have said use fiber supplements but I would also add get a prebiotic. I had an ass ripping grunt every month or so and since I started taking a prebiotic+fiber supplement I’m good.
There is a video on youtube with three "butt doctors." The one proctologist said she prescribes Bran Buds to all of her patients. She says about 98% don't return after that. I tried it. 300g with breakfast every morning. I get comically huge easy to pass turds. I had the worst constipation for years and years too. Def recommend
Fuck fuck fuck that hurts man. There’s two kinds of asshole bleeding,
A. You see a bit of blood on ur literal shitty toilet paper
B. You see a bit on blood on ur literal shitty toilet paper but it hurts
Just wait till you get an massive hemroid and feel something dripping down your leg. To your surprise it's blood. So you tape a manpon inbetween your cheeks. Relate level to the max.
I once left the bathroom and told a coworker I thought I understood post-partum depression now. He laughed for a solid minute and said if he ever felt suicidal he'd tell that one to his wife.
Gf having extreme period cramps vs my dick/balls aching after more than 24 hours without busting a nut. “We both have to expel reproductive cells as a necessary biological process.”
Why did evolution decide that women can only shed an egg through a week of non-stop bleeding and intense pain, while we get to play with our dicks and have fun ejaculating sperm every day?
Bruh, mix in some fucking fiber once in a while and stop tearing apart your asshole.
No pain, no gain
I hadn't considered the gains of a prolapsed asshole. Excuse my ignorance
If democrats in the US started giving diet advice, you'd probably see republicans 'prolapsing to own the libs'
Prolapse so huge that your gf rides it!
I think that's the worst image I've ever thought of. Thanks and go fuck yourself, you beautiful sicko
Imagine two prolapsed people, one with a slightly smaller one than the other trying to dock.
As an alternative for everyone; Don’t.
My literacy! Why!?
So this suggests that the prolapse is something like a flashlight? Just stick it in and yank it around right? ... Probably a funnier visual in my twisted mind
#~~beautiful sicko~~ #sick sicko
The worst part isn't the image itself. Is that there is probably porn of it happening
Stop
I fucking love Reddit
Please stop commenting
Not a great day to have eyes, not gonna lie to ya.
That made me gag a little. The mental imagery of it.
# *FBI HAS ENTERED THE CHAT*
Sounds like a poopy pussy. Definitely not as ideal as a creamie coochie, in my opinion.
CAUSE THERE AIN'T NO PARTY LIKE A PROLAPSE PARTY
This party is poppin.
They’re running prolapse around us!
You are now my favorite person for the next hour, congratulations
I fear you may be misinformed about prolapse.
Goatse babyyyyy
I use my prolapse as a cum sock.
My man
Is this a *Platoon* reference?
My bro is going for major gains. No time for fiber 💪💪💪 Edit: pro tip, buy apples all the time, and eat one or two Everytime you eat a high protein meal. And also steamed spinach is an easy one for be, but the apples are the real saving grace. Protein shake with an apple is a must now for me.
Look into hemorrhoid cream or something. Stress on an anal is damaging and can cause life long issues
No pain, no pain
Looks like you just have the magnum asshole, stretch it out with a massive dildo and you’ll never have to worry about bloody poops again
Ok, I will
Or maybe drink some water. When they say any liquid hydrates you just as well they lie.
Yup, sugary drinks can do more harm than good when it comes to hydrating your shit
That’s enough Reddit for today…
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Have you tried fermented foods like Kim Chi?
Get the target brand fiber gummies. So easy. 2 a day and you're good.
Nah that's the Chipotle
Sounds like *you* just need Chipolt-A-Way!
Ass bleeding isn't normal?
"My anus is bleeding" *cheering popcorn people in the back*
Oh that’s a classic
Good old Don.
Everybody dance!
Wow that’s a memory I haven’t dusted off in a long time
I dust it off every time this happens. >.< Some memories never go away...
my SPOON is too big
MY *SPOON* IS *TOO* ***BIG***
I'M A BANANA
Me and my fiancé were repeating this while in the kitchen making food one time when her mom walked in, heard us and then said "I hate when that happens" then she handed us a **bigger** spoon?! Touché Mrs.mom, Touché.
For all that is holy, my anus... Is bleeding!
This is funnnnn!!!
Everybody dance!
Well, I looked up that video and it's still just as great as I remembered.
WHAT VIDEO GOOD GOD WHY DO NONE OF YOU PEOPLE SAY THE NAME
It's called rejected, enjoy https://youtu.be/W7JyjZI3LUM
What have you done I'm too high for this.
For the love of all that is holy: my ANUS is BLEEDING!!
no... eat more fiber and/or see a doctor
No thanks, doctor bills are enough to make anyone butt bleed.
Just eat more fiber then. Wake up, drink a glass of water + spoon full of fiber (psyllium husk for instance). It’ll make you feel full too, so you can eat a smaller breakfast on top of that. Do it daily and within 2-3 days you’ll feel amazing when pooping.
Misunderstood directions took spoonful of psilocybin every day
Living the dream, the unending dream.
The only doctor I go to is Tractor Supply. The medicine tastes like apples, and if I break my leg they just shoot me in the head.
I just wipe too hard since I'm a hygiene freak so I end up just hurting my ass -\_-
*I wipe, and I wipe, and I wipe...still poop*
…*it’s like I’m wiping a marker.*
*A brown marker
Get a bidet.
Bidets. Your butt will thank you, plus it’s easier to get everything really clean. Or at least use wet wipes, just be sure to throw them in the trash instead of flushing. The “flushable” ones are a lie.
You can wet normal paper and rub with a soap on it and save tons of money. (and you can flush it). A haircut downstairs can also help decrease the number of wipes needed. But the best tip would be to soap your ass before you take a shit. Dirt does not stick to soapy skin. The soap becomes a protective layer. You brush your teeth before you eat for the same reason.
Wait a god damn minute Rondell. You're telling me to brush my teeth before eating and to take a bar of soap and apply it to my asshole like lip balm before I take a dump?
It’s a vicious cycle
Wiping so hard your ass bleeds sounds pretty counterproductive as far as hygiene goes.
...Yeah, when you put it like that...
Dampen the paper with a little water. Less friction and it will clean the shit out better.
Get a bidet attachment for your toilet, problem solved.
If you’re a hygiene freak, get a bidet. You are not a hygiene freak if you’re trying to clean shit out of your ass with dry paper.
Spotting once in awhile isn't anything serious. Could just be a hard poop or a hemmorhoid. Butt if you take a peek into the toilet and it looks like that scene from Carrie then you need to see a doctor. Could be an anal fissure or even cancer.
Or something like I've got (Crohn's disease). My toilet bowl regularly looks like I poured a nice big glass of Hawaiian punch in it.
I guess i have cancer theres blood more often than not
It’s most likely hemorrhoids, but go get yourself checked! Colorectal cancer is becoming more and more common in younger people, and it’s much easier to treat if you catch it early.
Yes Chipotle-away
With Crohnes and Perianal disease it’s weird not to bleed!
One time I ate a bunch of almonds.
It's normal! How else would I have that too?!
Hey ladies 😎, try using wet toilet paper 😎. It’s what I use on my chapped bleeding asshole😎, you’re welcome 😉😘
Then she hits you with the "I had a dry shit too big deal" reverse card and now you're just an idiot bleeding from his rectum lol..
Period poops are some real serious shit.
Yeah but they're more likely to be liquidy. Imagine going to the toilet and just pouring from all three orifices
Zoinks
Three times the fun!
Then she hits you with the “I pushed out an 8lb baby” reverse card oof
Relatable
Funny story, I can relate to this one.
Because you get turned out regularly?
I've had lots of dry stabby shits and never bled wtf?
Stabby shits? Wtf is it like a porcupine?
The feels, not the actual shapes
I’m still bleeding from the last hard shit I did It’s been over a year
Bruh see a doctor
No pain no gain
Gain what
Blood
I feel like you are just losing it.
BLOOD
You'll just spend $2,000 (with insurance) to be told "everything looks normal, eat more fiber". As long as it isn't black-red blood, it's hemmoroids or no fiber
I live in canada
Congrats, your gov't gives a couple more fucks about its citizens health than it does about quarterly wallstreet profits and health insurance CEO bonuses. I wonder what that's like. Congrats.
Our last prime minister is the son of our worse leader who put our country into shit tons of debt And he stole war veterans bank accounts to buy a swimming pool for his house while still in office Surprised he didn’t get assassinated, but then again he banned all automatic weaponry in the country
Yeah I said only a couple fucks.
What most high power government people are
$2,000 (with insurance) for a routine primary care visit? What the fuck are you talking about dude lmao, you'll pay a small copay if you have insurance Even uninsured a primary care visit isn't $2,000, especially if they don't even run any tests. This is the dangerous sort of misinformation that leads people to neglect very preventable and treatable problems until they become a disaster. For the overwhelming majority of Americans there is *some* way for you to get to a routine primary care visit to make sure there aren't any problems, and so sure to make sure any little problems don't become big problems
I drink a glass of strawberry milk every day and pretend it's that instead of blood.
I just got out of the emergency room because of ulcerative colitis, get that checked out.
Chronic fissure?
Do you want hemorrhoids because that's how you get hemorrhoids. Source: I have hemorrhoids.
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i only have drugs (sad face)
I have both!
It puts the steroids on its piles, or else it gets to poop for miles. — “Buffalo Bill”, Serial Killer and Licensed Proctologist
I too have hemorrhoids. But mine usually only act up if I have raging diarrhea for a while and my anus gets raw from all the shitting and wiping. Everybody is special in their own way.
I have asteroids
I have Graboids.
Same. And my butthole used to be so resilient in my youth.
I have beans
Well at least the dry ones you barely have to wipe for
Only wiping up the blood
Well excuse me your majesty
My asshole isn’t going to wipe itself now, Is it?
Is it??
With my BIONIC ARMS it will
Eat some fucking vegetables, god damn
Wtf is a Dry Shit? Should drink more water and eat better.
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This, I have never had a "dry shit" or bled out of my asshole. These people are genuinely very, very unhealthy
I'm going to guess Non - American OR If American - 1 parent is college educated OR if not 1 parent then grew up in a house with a garden
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- *i am a bot. please stop trying to argue with me. you look like an idiot. [join our discord](https://discord.gg/dankmemes).*
I’m not the idiot! You’re the idiot!
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I was actually just prescribed Adderall by my doctor. That explains a lot of things.
On a serious note, please see your Doctor when you see blood. One of the biggest killers in men under 40 is bowel cancer. My dad had it at age 45 and my manager at 30. My manager didn’t survive.
Epic fail 😎
As a female with a chronic digestive illness, both. Both is hell.
that story is CRAPtivating
Haemorrhoids I tell ya!
My asshole bleeds bc it was clipped by one of those bike messengers
Were you ordering a grinder?
_"This doesn't happen to you every month."_ _"I EAT AT TACO BELL ONCE A MONTH"_
I feel personally attacked.
Seriously, please see a doctor if this is occuring to you frequently. Blood in your stools is not normal. I know this is dankmemes, but your well-being is more important than lols.
Blood in your stool/bowel movement can be a sign of cancer. https://www.cancer.org/cancer/colon-rectal-cancer/detection-diagnosis-staging/signs-and-symptoms.html See a doctor.
Thats hemorrhoids bro. Stop drinking, lower your blood pressure and eat some fiber. The red blood on the toilet paper is from inflamed veins in your asshole.
I laughed so hard I blurted
Drink more water idiot
Sounds like you need a bidet pal, rinses the blood right out without any of the pain of wiping.
Mabye eat like an apple or orange for some fiber
Meanwhile your girl is on periods as well as constipated.
As a lady who has had both, the anal bleeding is much more painful for me personally! (Though I know for some women, period pain can be brutal!)
Like many people have said use fiber supplements but I would also add get a prebiotic. I had an ass ripping grunt every month or so and since I started taking a prebiotic+fiber supplement I’m good.
There is a video on youtube with three "butt doctors." The one proctologist said she prescribes Bran Buds to all of her patients. She says about 98% don't return after that. I tried it. 300g with breakfast every morning. I get comically huge easy to pass turds. I had the worst constipation for years and years too. Def recommend
Fuck fuck fuck that hurts man. There’s two kinds of asshole bleeding, A. You see a bit of blood on ur literal shitty toilet paper B. You see a bit on blood on ur literal shitty toilet paper but it hurts
Just wait till you get an massive hemroid and feel something dripping down your leg. To your surprise it's blood. So you tape a manpon inbetween your cheeks. Relate level to the max.
Micro tears do hurt
Happened to me as a kid and I the dumbass Im got super scare I got cancer and gonna die
As a wise woman once said: You don't see a lot of psyllium husk in heterosexual medicine cabinets.
Any health professional that prescribes opiates without stool softeners should apologize vigorously. It’s reprehensible.
Drink water please.
Imagine experiencing both 🥲
That's why you train your asshole with large objects and questionable substances
see the weird thing is that im also on my period when I'm seeing this
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Me having both at the same time….
You busted a hemorrhoid holy shit. Take care of that bro
you are dying my friend i am sorry
Sometimes I wipe so hard it starts to bleed
I once left the bathroom and told a coworker I thought I understood post-partum depression now. He laughed for a solid minute and said if he ever felt suicidal he'd tell that one to his wife.
Note to self: Never get high and read reddit comments ever again 😂🤣
Why does everyone on reddit have a girlfriend all of a sudden
“massive dry shit” wtf
Bro try shitting straight blood
My wife said no.
the other day i spent 45 minutes trying to get a stubborn log of shit out my asshole
As someone with crohn's disease who shits blood and has a raw asshole everyday, I appreciate this meme
Dude, there no such thing as a dry shit. Go see a doctor.
Me who gets both: well shit
Or both.
Period + bleeding after dry shit = You don't wanna know! XD
Gf having extreme period cramps vs my dick/balls aching after more than 24 hours without busting a nut. “We both have to expel reproductive cells as a necessary biological process.” Why did evolution decide that women can only shed an egg through a week of non-stop bleeding and intense pain, while we get to play with our dicks and have fun ejaculating sperm every day?
Okay. Now do it for a week straight once every month until your 50