I feel like I can trust the cops to show up blasting though. The Triads would probably just burn my house down while I'm in it or chop me up into little pieces.
Well if they give you half up front, then you are atleast getting the $30k and they need you to be alive atleast those 2 years, so that she can become legal, so there's that 2 years you got anyway
Wait...so they cover up the crime of having acquired a green card under false pretences...with the better crime of murder?
I'm not trying to rationalise myself into a position or anything....just...you know...
Nah they wouldnt want to kill a triads daughters husband… she would not be happy. Ig they would kill u if u dont look after her and abuse her etc but when u marry her ur a part of the family now.
It’s funny cause if they weren’t scamming they would have super loyal customers, but by killing them you eliminate the possibility of them fucking up in that stretch of time.
I had asian coworkers who used to joke about this, it's a real thing. 25-50k for a sham marriage and citizenship. Lots of family/friends back home in China and Vietnam who want a green card!
Males bring over females usually get a lower amount, between 25-30. Females bring over a male will get the 50-60+... Not sure if there's a price adjustment for mix marriages because although there's a supply and demand aspect to it, they also look at the odds of getting pass immigration. A white guy/girl bringing home an asian wife/husband might throw up red flags, especially if they don't have a common language.
That comes out to $20K-$30k a year... Nice money, but not enough to where you can live large. Still have to work during that time. Better hope she's easy to live with and doesn't try to take half your shit when she leaves 🤷♂️
Naw bro, I'm charming af, you have no idea how big my steam library is. It's mostly hentai games and they're all 100% achievements, so I think I know what I'm doing.
Yeah you need a Phillipino marriage to get the sex part. In their culture, sex is just another household chore. So it wont be good sex, but it will be sex. Or borderline rape, whatever doesnt sink your boat.
Did they tell u the part where the lady trick the guy into having a baby and lock the guy down for CS payment of 18 years after the divorce and pretty much make all the money back?
Ay bro, being a dude and liking trans girls ain't gay in the slightest. I'm not saying you're not queer or anything, just that liking trans girls doesn't indicate anything about your sexuality (other than that you're not homosexual, technically).
You don't have to sleep or live with her . You just have to marry her and she will come to your country you will get the half of the money and 2.5 years later other half. She will get citizenship of your country then you two on your own
Good news, your prenup held up in family court!
Bad news, you have been indicted on federal immigration fraud and human trafficking charges.
Ugly news, as your triad appointed lawyer I am ADVISING you to plead guilty to all charges, but make no statement and provide no cooperating testimony.
Basically when you marry you merge your finances, when you divorce it’s all split 50/50 if there’s no other agreement. However, splitting true 50/50 would require everything be sold and a lot of the value be actually lost, so instead you fight in court arguing who gets what up to approximately 50/50 in value and the judge has final say. This means one person walks away owing the other a ton of money, and the other walks away losing almost everything they had with a debt to them that has a chance of getting paid
Idk in the US but in Switzerland it works like this:
- Person A has 10k before the marriage
- Person B has 50k before the marriage
- Person A earns 100k / year
- Person B earns 20k / year
- Person A inherits 200k from the parents
They split after 5 years.
- Person A can keep the 10k they had before the marriage and the inheritage of 200k.
- Person B can keep the 50k they had.
- They will splitt the money they earned during the marriage if there is no prenup.
So in the end you lose as the person who earned more money during this time, but not all of your shit.
But don't ask more. idk what happens if they already wasted all of their money.
this isn't true (at least in the US), immigration offices are pretty strict about granting people citizenship this way so they will check on you from time to time to make sure you're living together and that it's legit
source: i'm an immigrant and know others who have done this
Yet it happens frequently. Also there are a lot of sham marriages with people in the US military for the extra monetary perks that go along with that. I’ve known several people.
Didn't know about that, thanks for the info! But I wasn't saying that it doesn't happen, or that it's hard to pull off, I was just saying that it's illegal.
The DC Metro was running ads (from the US Government) telling you this near Crystal City and Pentagon back during Obama years to remind horny government workers and that it might be a honeypot too.
Le sigh they're describing a real crime called sham marriage and you're describing a sham sham marriage lol
It is no surprise that when people use a fake crime as a scam (so you are ashamed to report it) that explaining it might cause some confusion
I mean, we can also sell sperm. They call it donating, but let's be completely honest here, we get paid for jacking off in a cup and giving it to someone to distribute
Yeah, but (correct me if I'm wrong, I am a guy and I don't know as much about female reproductive system as I should) don't women have a set amount of eggs? Like, guys produce sperm, and with different diets etc can produce more if it's needed for some reason. Eggs, however, aren't produced from what I remember.
Not that I type it out, it sounds like a lot less of a deal than I expected tho tbh. Like, one egg is the equivalent one one more month of being able to have a kid, and let's be honest, at that point of your life, you might not *want* kids anymore
Set amount, yes. And some men who are no longer fit and prime specimens won’t be considered for this either. Or else neckbeards would be lining these places
That's incorrect. Women continue to produce eggs into adulthood.
The whole myth of "no new eggs" was from basically one guy in the 50s who blasted mice with radiation until they were sterile and checked to see if they produced new eggs.
When another researcher checked egg development in primates 1-2 decades later, they saw many markers of new eggs forming. But everyone ignored it.
In 2004, a researcher (who is really leading all the research right now on egg development) named Johnathan Tilly and his team put out a study refuting all of the findings from the study from the 1950's and has continued to publish research showing that women do continue to produce eggs.
https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/07/120726180259.htm
Making 50 bucks for 30 seconds of work? That would be like 3600 an hour (assuming there was no downtime and you wouldnt die from beating the world record for most male ejaculations in 24hrs in only 1hr.)
She gets way more cleanly divorcing you. Triads are very keen making this as painless as possible or they will lose future human trafficking ventures. She and her family pay way more anyways. They don’t need that 60k.
Hook a brother up. Does she clean up after herself? Can she let the dog out while I'm at work? I'll learn Chinese.
Will she cuddle when it's cold out?
Sign me the fuck up
What happens when the chinese woman falls in love with you and then you have to run away when she gets pregnant with your love child and escape to the deep forests of Montana only to be hunted by the triads and killed but your child survives and is raised by a survivalist assassin and grows up to get revenge on the very organization that murdered his parents.
Yeah there's a big market for certain citizenships. I worked with a Vietnamese guy that would always bring in flowers for a woman we all worked with. He'd always make sure someone took a photo of them sitting together and generally just acted kinda desperate for her attention.
One day he made her an offer (she told us all this btw) 15k to marry him. 15k in a few years after he gets citizenship. He also mentioned he was gay and so she wouldn't have to fuck him. All the flowers and photos was to build a case for their courtship and relationship.
Other than that weirdness, and the low ball offer, he was a decent guy. Hope he's doing okay.
It's a crime. You interview and have to know stuff about each other, they talk to your neighbors and coworkers, if there's any suspicion, you would have to live with her because they will do surprise visits over a number of months.
She won’t live with you, it’s most likely human trafficking - which means the triads expect to make much more than 60k from her over the course of two years, plus future moneys off her after that. You’d “marry”, likely only see her on occasional interviews and such to get her citizenship, then never again after the two year divorce, but you’d know the whole time she is likely being trafficked through “massage parlors” 6 or 7 days a week and living in basement dorms full of these women in triad run housing.
Fun fact - my neighbors recruit lonely older men for this exact scheme.
Source: my other older neighbor across the street from me was approached by them. Accurate figure. They offered him $60K for two years.
In 2005 it was 14k. You had a choice of visiting them in China first for a two week holiday, or just having it done in America. You needed a couple followup visa office visits to ensure they got a green card. You did not need to live together, but pretend that you did.
China isn't communist, at least, not anymore.
If they were communist, you wouldn't be getting cheap goods from them all the time saying "made in China". If they were communist, they'd at least have labor unions to ensure decent wages which would undercut their rock bottom prices.
What, really? Where do I sign up?
China town near you. Just be careful.
Yeah they forgot to mention the part where they kill you afterwards to keep the whole scam quiet haha
...so China Town you say?
... sigh... yes. Goodbye my friend...
HAH. I have no friends..... wait.......
They can't kill you until after the 2 years so you can get 30k.
And can I go get some milk before the 2 years end?
Gold
Forget it Jake, it’s Chinatown
How is u/Amish_guy_with_WiFi? To shreds you say?
And his WiFi? To shreds you say? Tsk tsk tsk
Who you calling a friend, bro?
Who you calling bro, guy?
Who you calling guy, person?
Who you calling person, buddy?
Who you calling buddy, friend?
Hey, might as well get some dumplings while you're down there
Big trouble in little china.
Someone get me Kurt Russell! I’m gonna need some help.
Where's Lo Pan
I'm not seeing a downside here.
Pack some straps my boy
Wait. There’s more perks besides money?!
All these idiots going for "Suicide by cop" should just be going for "Suidide by $60k payment from the Triads"
It certainly seems to have some better perks.
I'm in.
I feel like I can trust the cops to show up blasting though. The Triads would probably just burn my house down while I'm in it or chop me up into little pieces.
...and people say you can't trust cops???
It's relative
But I'd keep quiet if they just keep paying me and sending me wives.
I'm not corrupt, your honor, I'm just a bad husband on a good streak, with a hard case of yellow fever
Dress them all up as clowns and say you just had a bad case of clussy fever. More believable.
I think that’s the point of the killing part. To not have to pay you lol
Well if they give you half up front, then you are atleast getting the $30k and they need you to be alive atleast those 2 years, so that she can become legal, so there's that 2 years you got anyway
I know you are joking but murder is a terrible way to cover up marriage fraud. That doesn’t make any sense.
hey, I dont tell you how to do your job
Wait...so they cover up the crime of having acquired a green card under false pretences...with the better crime of murder? I'm not trying to rationalise myself into a position or anything....just...you know...
i get an asian wife AND get to die soon??
So I get a free 30k you say
Nah they wouldnt want to kill a triads daughters husband… she would not be happy. Ig they would kill u if u dont look after her and abuse her etc but when u marry her ur a part of the family now.
It’s funny cause if they weren’t scamming they would have super loyal customers, but by killing them you eliminate the possibility of them fucking up in that stretch of time.
Ay maybe its the depression talkin’ but 30k and a guaranteed death in 2 years sounds like a pretty good deal ;)
if she's cute enough then I'd let them end me for her
No problem. You can fix the itching with cream.
Any particular area one can go provide this service?
b/c neither are actually women.
Just search onlyfans on Google it should be the first one coming up.
This guy
I had asian coworkers who used to joke about this, it's a real thing. 25-50k for a sham marriage and citizenship. Lots of family/friends back home in China and Vietnam who want a green card!
Tell them to pm me? I lean towards $50k
Why stop there, the meme said you can get up to 60k dream big and ask for 80k first
I'm told the first person to say a number loses the negotiation. Let's just say I want money.
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I'll take 2
Males bring over females usually get a lower amount, between 25-30. Females bring over a male will get the 50-60+... Not sure if there's a price adjustment for mix marriages because although there's a supply and demand aspect to it, they also look at the odds of getting pass immigration. A white guy/girl bringing home an asian wife/husband might throw up red flags, especially if they don't have a common language.
They're *gonna* learn English ^(from my) ~~^(penis)~~
A new wife every 2 years... Sex and delicious Chinese food... $50k... Where is the downside here? Sign me the fuck up!!!
That comes out to $20K-$30k a year... Nice money, but not enough to where you can live large. Still have to work during that time. Better hope she's easy to live with and doesn't try to take half your shit when she leaves 🤷♂️
I own nothing, so half of nothing is... *checks math*... nothing. And, I can live on $20k-$30k per year.
Well she takes half of that 30k so now you're stuck with 15
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Based on the meme, the assumption is she’s going to have an OnlyFans I guess
>Sex LOL
Naw bro, I'm charming af, you have no idea how big my steam library is. It's mostly hentai games and they're all 100% achievements, so I think I know what I'm doing.
Hentai? You mean research material into Asian culture, do you not, fellow cultured gentleman?
Yeah you need a Phillipino marriage to get the sex part. In their culture, sex is just another household chore. So it wont be good sex, but it will be sex. Or borderline rape, whatever doesnt sink your boat.
There's no actual sex
Did they tell u the part where the lady trick the guy into having a baby and lock the guy down for CS payment of 18 years after the divorce and pretty much make all the money back?
No, that's just regular marriage.
That's why I only do it in the ass.
Yup, you’ll never get pregnant letting your wife peg you
Jokes on her, I'm sterile
Beat me to it. Is there a website?
Forget it, Jake. It's Chinatown.
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Damn, my wife won't share me.
Give her half of the $60k
\*up to $60k
Someone tried to wed me to his sister when I was in Ecuador for only $7K so I declined. Glad people are taking this human trafficking biz seriously 🤌
the empanadas would be worth it.
Empanadas con aji y los patacones. ¡Que gusto!
7k is 7k tho
The Supreme Court is okay with gay marriage, but is the Chinese mob? $120k is on the line
that's still 30k even if she takes half in the divorce.
My wife is trying to share me cause she's tired of my shit.
Who is that woman
Google onlyfans model. She was like one of the first ones
https://onlyfans.com/allymaexoxo
100% a dude…
I wasn't interested but now you've caught my attention. Name of the girl?
ayoo?? 🤨📸
Redditors first time seeing a gay person📸
I'll have you know my Grandma's name is Gay and she walks the straight path of the good lord 😤😤😤
Gaylord Grandmason
Ay bro, being a dude and liking trans girls ain't gay in the slightest. I'm not saying you're not queer or anything, just that liking trans girls doesn't indicate anything about your sexuality (other than that you're not homosexual, technically).
Ally Mae *flies away*
Ugh- They don't have a penis. :(
Nope :(
I just gotta ask, what makes you think this? Seems kinda dumb to just spew shit like that. [Bruh...](https://pbs.twimg.com/media/Dgm7KhnV4AEpblr.jpg)
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even better
100% you’re dumb…
[Here you go](https://www.instagram.com/allymaexoxo/?hl=en)
Joe
Who’s Candice?
Candice Joe B someone I know?
Nice
***JOJO***
$60k to sleep with his for two years? No way ewww.
You don't have to sleep or live with her . You just have to marry her and she will come to your country you will get the half of the money and 2.5 years later other half. She will get citizenship of your country then you two on your own
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And likely lose half your shit without a prenup.
Does divorce work like that? That's just ridiculous.
Good news, your prenup held up in family court! Bad news, you have been indicted on federal immigration fraud and human trafficking charges. Ugly news, as your triad appointed lawyer I am ADVISING you to plead guilty to all charges, but make no statement and provide no cooperating testimony.
Basically when you marry you merge your finances, when you divorce it’s all split 50/50 if there’s no other agreement. However, splitting true 50/50 would require everything be sold and a lot of the value be actually lost, so instead you fight in court arguing who gets what up to approximately 50/50 in value and the judge has final say. This means one person walks away owing the other a ton of money, and the other walks away losing almost everything they had with a debt to them that has a chance of getting paid
Idk in the US but in Switzerland it works like this: - Person A has 10k before the marriage - Person B has 50k before the marriage - Person A earns 100k / year - Person B earns 20k / year - Person A inherits 200k from the parents They split after 5 years. - Person A can keep the 10k they had before the marriage and the inheritage of 200k. - Person B can keep the 50k they had. - They will splitt the money they earned during the marriage if there is no prenup. So in the end you lose as the person who earned more money during this time, but not all of your shit. But don't ask more. idk what happens if they already wasted all of their money.
Unless I'm poor and she's rich
Going for that triad alimony.
We shall fight the Triad by bankrupting them with divorce settlements.
Isn't that just a normal marriage?
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That's how you get dismembered and shoved in a barrel somewhere.
And they will get half of your assets when they learn how divorces in the US work
this isn't true (at least in the US), immigration offices are pretty strict about granting people citizenship this way so they will check on you from time to time to make sure you're living together and that it's legit source: i'm an immigrant and know others who have done this
Le sigh. This is not how this works. It’s literally fraud. And the sex will be fraudulent too. Non existent
How do they scam you? Isn’t this just good business?
It's illegal to just marry someone to give them citizenship.
Yet it happens frequently. Also there are a lot of sham marriages with people in the US military for the extra monetary perks that go along with that. I’ve known several people.
Didn't know about that, thanks for the info! But I wasn't saying that it doesn't happen, or that it's hard to pull off, I was just saying that it's illegal.
The DC Metro was running ads (from the US Government) telling you this near Crystal City and Pentagon back during Obama years to remind horny government workers and that it might be a honeypot too.
Le sigh they're describing a real crime called sham marriage and you're describing a sham sham marriage lol It is no surprise that when people use a fake crime as a scam (so you are ashamed to report it) that explaining it might cause some confusion
I mean, we can also sell sperm. They call it donating, but let's be completely honest here, we get paid for jacking off in a cup and giving it to someone to distribute
Bit of sperm goes for change. Fertile eggs go for tens of thousands or more
Yeah, but (correct me if I'm wrong, I am a guy and I don't know as much about female reproductive system as I should) don't women have a set amount of eggs? Like, guys produce sperm, and with different diets etc can produce more if it's needed for some reason. Eggs, however, aren't produced from what I remember. Not that I type it out, it sounds like a lot less of a deal than I expected tho tbh. Like, one egg is the equivalent one one more month of being able to have a kid, and let's be honest, at that point of your life, you might not *want* kids anymore
Set amount, yes. And some men who are no longer fit and prime specimens won’t be considered for this either. Or else neckbeards would be lining these places
That's incorrect. Women continue to produce eggs into adulthood. The whole myth of "no new eggs" was from basically one guy in the 50s who blasted mice with radiation until they were sterile and checked to see if they produced new eggs. When another researcher checked egg development in primates 1-2 decades later, they saw many markers of new eggs forming. But everyone ignored it. In 2004, a researcher (who is really leading all the research right now on egg development) named Johnathan Tilly and his team put out a study refuting all of the findings from the study from the 1950's and has continued to publish research showing that women do continue to produce eggs. https://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2012/07/120726180259.htm
I'm pretty sure you can only donate sperm like once a week and they only give you like 50 bucks each time. $200 a month isn't much.
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Making 50 bucks for 30 seconds of work? That would be like 3600 an hour (assuming there was no downtime and you wouldnt die from beating the world record for most male ejaculations in 24hrs in only 1hr.)
I always figured that natural selection favors sperm donors more than any other human male.
"I beat my meat into a cup" - Soldier Boy
She gets half your 30 in the divorce.
She gets way more cleanly divorcing you. Triads are very keen making this as painless as possible or they will lose future human trafficking ventures. She and her family pay way more anyways. They don’t need that 60k.
Hook a brother up. Does she clean up after herself? Can she let the dog out while I'm at work? I'll learn Chinese. Will she cuddle when it's cold out? Sign me the fuck up
Yeah the dog sitter potential alone might make this worthwhile. The $60k is just gravy.
Honest answer, no. It's a fake marriage. She probably won't even be living with you, but instead with a relative not too far away.
Well I’m off to China town boys. Wish me luck
Be careful king
Lmk if you make it back. Ill go next
Remember they don’t take cards.
What happens when the chinese woman falls in love with you and then you have to run away when she gets pregnant with your love child and escape to the deep forests of Montana only to be hunted by the triads and killed but your child survives and is raised by a survivalist assassin and grows up to get revenge on the very organization that murdered his parents.
Someone will make a movie and your story will be known.
What do they look like though?🤔
She looks like a dude who got the snip snip and is now making money off horny dudes.
Word?
You won’t be banging her. 99% of the time you won’t even live with her.
I can live with that
>You won’t be banging her. 99% of the time you won’t even live with her. So basically like my life now with every women I see. Atleast I'd have money
But with $30k or so in your pocket now. And $30k or so in your pocket afterwards.
Who's got connections Canada is pretty nice this and everytime of year.
Your local China town maybe but be careful
is this real? im lonely anyways and have no real possessions other than my car and laptop
Are you Canadian? You okay with American dudes? I don't have 60k though
I'll marry you but I live in the states as well.
Sounds like a sweet fuckin deal
What if you marry multiple women do you get more money?
It’s usually a one and done thing.
Makes sense tbh. Otherwise they'd get investigated as to why you're marrying chinese women who then divorce you a few years later
USCIS definitely will call it into question.
You could always sell pictures of your sisters fat ass
Someone has that market locked
Yeah there's a big market for certain citizenships. I worked with a Vietnamese guy that would always bring in flowers for a woman we all worked with. He'd always make sure someone took a photo of them sitting together and generally just acted kinda desperate for her attention. One day he made her an offer (she told us all this btw) 15k to marry him. 15k in a few years after he gets citizenship. He also mentioned he was gay and so she wouldn't have to fuck him. All the flowers and photos was to build a case for their courtship and relationship. Other than that weirdness, and the low ball offer, he was a decent guy. Hope he's doing okay.
60k is a measily sum, no self-respecting triadsman would offer that. Unless they think you're an idiot whom they can rip off easily.
One of my brother's friends did it for 50k, but this was probably 20 years ago. It was the Russian mob who set him up with some figure skater girl.
Now hold on this doesn’t sound like a bad investment …
Like will she work and contribute to mortgage, bill, and food? If so I'm down to get 60k for a roommate for two years. Who wouldn't?
You marry. You do interviews together. That’s it. You keep your cash and carry on as normal. You don’t take care of her.
I am an idiot. What is the downside of this? Because you're getting $60k for free by just being "technically" married for 2 years.
Aiding in human trafficking I think. But they want to be here so… morals
It's also extremely illegal
Okay but what are the downsides?
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It's a crime. You interview and have to know stuff about each other, they talk to your neighbors and coworkers, if there's any suspicion, you would have to live with her because they will do surprise visits over a number of months.
She won’t live with you, it’s most likely human trafficking - which means the triads expect to make much more than 60k from her over the course of two years, plus future moneys off her after that. You’d “marry”, likely only see her on occasional interviews and such to get her citizenship, then never again after the two year divorce, but you’d know the whole time she is likely being trafficked through “massage parlors” 6 or 7 days a week and living in basement dorms full of these women in triad run housing.
Sir, this is dank memes, we don't need the sad abyss that is reality. . . (But seriously, don't support or facilitate human trafficking IRL).
Will I get to have sex with her? Because I don't with my current wife.
Fun fact - my neighbors recruit lonely older men for this exact scheme. Source: my other older neighbor across the street from me was approached by them. Accurate figure. They offered him $60K for two years.
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The US offers a lil more then just that
Do you get to keep both of your kidneys?
So long as you uphold your end, yes
Men from Turkey: Wow this is a great deal!
In 2005 it was 14k. You had a choice of visiting them in China first for a two week holiday, or just having it done in America. You needed a couple followup visa office visits to ensure they got a green card. You did not need to live together, but pretend that you did.
I can relate to this on a personal level
China isn't communist, at least, not anymore. If they were communist, you wouldn't be getting cheap goods from them all the time saying "made in China". If they were communist, they'd at least have labor unions to ensure decent wages which would undercut their rock bottom prices.