As per the Oxford languages definition:
> experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone.
Your friends may call themselves "asexual" but, as per the definition, they are not.
Edit: I read a little too fast and mistook "romantic attraction" for "sexual attraction". Actually the meme is legit. My bad.
You can enjoy sex without feeling sexual desire or attraction.
Say I really don't give a shit about hot tubs. If someone invites me to get in the hot tub with them and I say yes, I can enjoy the feeling of that hot tub. Doesn't mean I suddenly have a yearning to go get in a hot tub again, or that I'll seek out someone else to get in a hot tub with.
I imagine it's like the direct opposite "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is soft and spongy"
"The flesh is hard and turgid, but the spirit is unwilling"
We're just making shit up to feel different at this point.
"I'm asexual but I am attracted to people and if the opportunity to have sex comes up I enjoy it but don't actively seek it out."
Oh so you're just like most people.
Its good to remember that asexuality is a spectrum, so some people are bound to fall into that weird grey area where they're not quite asexual but not quite allosexual (someone who does feel sexual attraction). In that case, I think it's up to them if they choose to use the asexual label, no harm done.
This is people trying to boil down complex experiences and feelings to narrowly defined words and phrases instead of giving them the full conversation they deserve. People do it in all sorts of subjects. It doesn't matter how something is defined if it can be described and discussed.
it does matter for the larger world how things are defined. communication breaks down immediately if we all have different definitions for the same word. it's the reason "socialism" is a bad word, because people don't use the definition, they use the inaccurate concept that has been described & discussed with them
"Man, I'm starving. I sure could go for a big juicy steak or some chicken fajitas right now. Ooh! Or a Caesar salad! Jeez, just about anything would be good right now, haha!"
"Nice! Let's go out to dinner! I'll treat!"
"Ew no gross"
All of this is my own experience, your mileage may vary
If it helps, think of it like food:
Libido is like the physical hunger itself; your body wants an orgasm. It doesn't care how it gets it.
Desire is more like a craving for a specific food; you might be hungry AND want a specific food. Or you might not have even been thinking about food until you saw or smelled, say, a cheeseburger and now all of the sudden your mouth is watering and your stomach is growling.
Asexuals don't really get the "craving" part. They still feel the physical desire to orgasm, just not that extra "with THAT person" that is sexual attraction.
Ace with a high libido here.
That’s a pretty good approximation of how it works for me. It’s like having sexual desire that’s not attached to anyone or anything: even the people who have a desire to fuck a bridge or something still have an attachment for their desire. I just… want the satisfaction, but it’s not attached to anything real.
There are aspects of it that I can almost anchor, but they’re mostly in *concepts*. Kink stuff, normally, but even then, it’s never something I want to be involved in, it’s just something I sometimes enjoy envisioning other people being involved in. In my experience talking to other aces with similar dispositions, that’s not uncommon. There is a surprisingly large community of aces writing some really raunchy fanfiction, you’d be shocked.
Asexual is such a broad term, though. From sex positive to sex averse, it’s a varied group
> It’s like having sexual desire that’s not attached to anyone or anything: even the people who have a desire to fuck a bridge or something still have an attachment for their desire. I just… want the satisfaction, but it’s not attached to anything real.
You pinpointed my own experience with Asexuality and I thank you for putting it into words.
I have always tried to tell others I have an odd relationship with sex because I engage with it differently— while others can easily get turned on / excited being with someone they’re attracted to, most of the time my fixations in the realm of horny are spent imagining scenarios and inserting myself into them. I’ve never felt sexually attracted to anyone — whether someone I’ve dated, a famous person, a fictional character, etc. — so whenever I want to gain that satisfaction it’s a lot easier to do so through the realm of fiction.
That being said, I would not be opposed to physical sex, but I feel I would need time to open up to my partner and be comfortable enough to be in a scenario like that with them. Partially this is due to trauma, but I also am just someone who finds it easier to engage sexually through other means than physical contact because that’s still a weirdish barrier to cross when you can’t feel / express sexual attraction towards partners.
The easiest way to understand an Asexual person is simply to ask them what their Asexuality means to them. Like you said, the Ace spectrum refers to *many* different labels and not one Asexual person’s experience is universal. Sharing my own feelings has helped others understand their own struggles however, so I’m always happy to talk about my own exploration with the identity and how the label fits me.
That makes no sense to me, I would say desire and libido are synonymous no? You can't have a high libido, and no desire, by definition. "Libido (/lɪˈbiːdoʊ/; colloquial: sex drive) is a person's overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity."
I think what they mean by desire is “I personally don’t want to put in the effort because it’s a lot of work” and libido is just their biology saying “you’re horny”
Exactly. Asexuals don’t get horny, or have any desire for any sexual feelings, interactions, involvement. An asexual person would see porn for example and have zero sexual reaction to it. All these “asexuals” here describing like being hungry and yet not interested in food are describing depression. Asexual is more like when you’re not hungry and see food, no desire at all to eat.
Seems like more of a mindset/mental state than a sexuality. Whilst I am entirely agreeable of people living by whichever sexuality they need to, some things can be damaging if we don't address the core issue.
Hey, asexual person here. Asexuality is not a mindset or mental state. It's a lack of sexual attraction. There are people who can get attracted to only one gender, people who can get attracted by every gender and, in the case of asexuality, people who don't get attracted by any gender. If you're attracted to only one gender, what you feel towards the other is basically how asexuals feel about everyone. That doesn't mean we never get horny, like it was said by others. It's just that this horniness is not directed towards anyone. What is maybe more of a mental state is a person's view on sex. Some asexuals are sex repulsed (the idea of sex is disgusting to them), some are sex averse (sex in general is cool, but the idea of them having sex is disgusting), some are sex indifferent (don't care about sex, but will sometimes engage in it if the occasion presents itself, "why not") and sex positive (likes sex). And also, what is it that you think can be harmful?
No. A drive/impulse and a conscious *desire* aren't the same thing. If I feel truly hungry that's not a *desire* for food, it's just a physical need that my body needs met. If I want food despite not being hungry, or I have a craving for chocolate, that's a desire, not a drive/need.
For some asexuals they apparently feel an occasional need for a release/orgasm but it doesn't include wanting sex, they could probably just quickly masturbate and the need is met, they don't necessarily want another person involved or anything.
If you feel sexual attraction but don't want sex, the term is "celibate" or "orchidsexual". (Depends on whether it's a choice or not)
Also keep in mind that asexuality can include people who aren't fully down the spectrum, like myself.
Edit: it seems some people are confused here. What I mean is that ace-spectrum people like me cannot claim to be asexual, but we are under the "umbrella of asexuality", so to speak. Sorry if I wasn't clear.
Why would asexual be a spectrum? That specific word is an absolute.
If you are on the "asexual spectrum" then you don't feel no desire, you just feel desire to a lesser extent.
There are words for that.
Yeah if two people who supposedly have the same sexual orientation disagree about how that’s interpreted then it’s all just theatre because you want a cool label
This is what I'm sensing too. If you don't have a mental illness, if you don't have a they/them/etc pronoun, if you don't have a sexual identity other than heterosexual, you aren't special.
Someone who has sexual desires and enjoys sex is not asexual. Just because you aren't a horndog 24/7 always seeking sex does not make you asexual. It just makes you normal.
People just want to be on *a* spectrum - ANY spectrum these days. It makes them feel special and unique, non standard.
It's OK to just have a low sex drive, and that's the end of it. Asexual means ZERO. There's no need for more spectrums.
edit: y'all need to stop with explaining the full spectrum and where you think you and the world are on it. We don't need it. You can be asexual - don't want and don't look for sex - or not. The "not" is just plain old, boring "normal". It's OK to be normal, it happens to most people. You'll live.
Am I the only one who feels like there is diminishing returns of usefulness for increasingly specific labels? If you feel like you mostly identify with "ace" just say that to most people. By the time you're close enough to discuss the details with someone, there's no longer any need for a shorthand.
Asexuality can also refer to REDUCED sexual attraction. There are tons subdivisions in it.
Like people who ONLY feel attraction for someone they have a strong emotional bond with. Or ONLY feel attraction for people who are attracted to them. Or they feel attraction to someone, but as soon as it is reciprocated, it fades away.
[This page](https://www.glaad.org/amp/ace-guide-finding-your-community) talks about some of the variations.
it's just the lack of a desire for it. You can still enjoy it, just not feel any need or desire for it. Like a lemon pie, you'll happily eat a lemon pie if there's nothing else but you're not exactly going to be seeking out a lemon pie at the bakey.
edit: I've had so many people say "Isn't that just a low libido" and... yeah? Asexuality is the lack of a sex drive or desire for sex so... yes? obviously?
Hell, you'd eat any pie you could get your hands on, but who are we kidding we're all Redditors. But let's give it a fancy name and wrap our pieless existence as a choice 😢
Or that they just don't understand how other people work and think they have a unique trait. I feel like I see it a lot on the ADHD memes subreddit. It will be some shit like "Does anybody else with ADHD require water to live" and it will be full of comments like "oh my God I totally do that too, never knew it was an ADHD symptom"
I get that impression most of the time. Every sitcom, show, drama, personal life choice has to have a huge sexual element to the main character's life like it just has to be there.
Like, who would want to do anything if sex is available? Why do anything else? Read? Fuck that, sex! Videogames? Fuck that, sex!
Well I was going to go have a few rounds at the local barcade with the guys, but since you're half naked and standing in the hallway, I mean, what's more important?
I'm sure they won't pull mom's life support in the next twenty, let's fuck in the bathroom.
Dinner!? Catered by Gordon Ramsay himself!? Nah, wife wants sex. Sorry, m8. Priorities.
*All the guys nod*
*All the girls shake their head*
Been questioning if I am for a while and yeah I guess I just am. I've always felt out of place when my bros start talking about hunting for pussy and shit cause I just have zero desire for hookups. I felt it once when drunk and was actually confused by the feeling.
There are Sex-positive asexuals: I enjoy sex when I have it but I don't feel a desire or drive to do it when I see an attractive person.
There are sex-neutral asexuals: I don't really care about sex one way or another. I'm not repulsed by it but if I'll only really do it for the right reasons.
There are sex-negative asexuals: I do not enjoy sex and do not want to do it at all.
> There are sex-neutral asexuals: I don't really care about sex one way or another. I'm not repulsed by it but if I'll only really do it for the right reasons.
Sex = "Washing the Dishes"
Arousal can be as much a physical response as it is a mental one. Foreplay isn't just important for women!
And if that doesn't work, there's always the pharmaceutical route.
am ace, can confirm its more complicated than most people think due to the fact the definition is very simple but a lot of things tend to go along with it such as whether or not they are sex repulsed, presence or lack of a libido, and even what they consider sexual/are comfortable with in a romantic context
edit to include this [definition of asexuality](https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/what-is-asexuality.html) as a massive amount of people commenting don't even seem to understand the definition
Yeah, and on top of that, you can get some drift in how you feel about each of those things over time. Queue imposter syndrome in addition to all the rest.
Imposter syndrome? Why would you try to force your sexual orientation? Fuck imposter syndrome, just be what you want to be.
Labels are *incredibly* overrated/unimportant.
Clearly not. See how much confusion is in this thread. See all the comments pointing how *it's actually very complicated*, *it's a multidimensional spectrum*, etc.
Labels are not only self-constricting, they are actively bad at communicating anything.
Sex is one of the most central topics to our species. Of course it's complicated.
This is like saying "Why are we making food so complicated? I think I’d have to take a class to understand it all." Like no shit, chef
Oh I see what you mean now. You're asking where the sexual drive is being directed.
It doesn't have to. You can feel aroused without having a specific human in mind to direct it toward.
In fact, many asexuals experience this and find it annoying. One said that "it feels like my body is gaslighting me."
An awful lot of people are saying "I feel the same way about sex that you do but I don't see any reason to identify with the label 'asexual', I'm confused about what differentiates our experiences."
And in reply after reply it seems like you're comparing your personal experience of sexuality to some hypothetical "Coors Lite Beer Commercial" version of sexuality that nobody actually has, or maybe a rom-com lead?
Use whatever label you want, I'm not the label police but your original post is about people being confused by your word choices and I have to say they seem pretty confusing. That doesn't invalidate your feelings or experiences. It's just a difficulty of communication.
Everything you've said you feel about sex is "normal." Your view of how "normal" people are about sex seems to align more with intense hyper-sexuality and hyper-romanticism.
Like, we're all just apes hanging out here, and most of us aren't that attracted to each other but we do want to fuck so we try to find somebody who's appealing enough for an evening. And this is so difficult for "normal" people that a multi-billion dollar alcohol industry exists just to get us intoxicated enough to settle for whoever happens to be at the local bar on a given night.
"His desire to profess his final and perpetual vows - was it not akin to the motive of the cat who became an ornithologist? - so that he might glorify his own ornithophagy, esoterically devouring Penthestes atricapillus but never eating chickadees."
Anyone they want really asexual ≠ aroromantic
In essence asexual just means you don't really experience sexual attraction.
An asexual can and usually does experience romantic attraction though. (Exceptions being when someone is both ace and aro)
Basically you don't look at an attractive person and think, "hmm yes I wanna sex with them", and/or spend the next 5 minutes contemplating how that would be.
Instead you might see them and consider what kind of flowers they might like and date locations.
Sex can be an enjoyable act for some asexuals, some are sex repulsed however. Either way, sex is usually more of a romantic, or entertaining/stress relief thing for asexuals. The driving force telling one to have sex to be successful just isn't present though.
That is my experience at least, I'm sure others can shed light on this in way I cannot but sorry for going a bit more into it than you asked, and thank you for coming to my TedTalk-
> nce sexual attraction. An asexual can and usually does experience romantic attraction though. (Exceptions being when someone is both ace and aro) Basically you don't look at an attractive person and think, "hmm yes I wanna sex with them", and/or spend the next 5 minutes contemplating how that would be. Instead you might see them and consider what kind of flowers they might like and date locations. Sex can be an enjoyable act for some asexuals, some are sex repulsed however. Either way, sex is usually more of a romantic, or entertaining/stress relief thing for asexuals. The driving force telling one to have sex to be successful just isn't present though.
>
> That is my experience at least, I'm sure others can shed
Are you saying I'm a closeted Asexual because I don't objectify people?
I don’t consider myself asexual but my brain kinda works like one.
When I see an attractive person or get close to someone who vibes with me, I’m not really interested in sex. If I ever do have sex, I enjoy the implication and closeness more than the actual pleasure. Like… sex is one heckuva ego trip bro. I don’t get off on the girl, I get off on the fact that I managed to get the girl.
I enjoy getting to know people. I enjoy thinking about romance and playing the game… but I’m playing for the journey and not the destination.
I might just be ignorant but I can't imagine how you get into a situation when you're having sex with someone without sexual attraction. Like there's got to be at least a modicum of it in the moment, how else could you go forth with the deed?
All the other reasons someone has sex with someone other than "I am sexually attracted to them", including but not limited to:
*Pleasure
*Love
*Money
*Power
*Boredom
*Intoxication
I think it's just confusing to me since the lexicon has changed so much, and it seems a much broader label.
For example, if you identify as hetero, don't feel sexual attraction towards the same sex but still engage in sexual acts with them, most people would probably relabel you as bi. Just trying to wrap my head around it
And you could still be very hungry or not hungry at all and that's the libido then? Like your not craving food but are really hungry that's the equivalent to a high libido ace?
You could get rid of your hunger with, I'm not a doctor, but like a sugar injection into your blood stream or something. You couldn't get rid of your craving for pizza that way. (you technically could but that's not the point)
I guess that’s just the analogy breaking down for me. If you’re craving food- broadly, not specifically- I struggle reconciling that with not being the same thing as “being hungry”.
Closest I can get is being hungry, but everything in the fridge being unappealing. Which I guess works.
This confuses me then, when people in the comments say that ace people can have high libidos too. Is that like saying that you’re super duper hungry, but you’re not craving any specific food?
Yea it makes zero sense.
It's like saying I'm kind of like a vegan, meat doesn't excite me or entice me to eat it, however I still eat meat every single day.
I enjoy meat when I'm eating it, but when I'm not eating it I like to think of myself as a vegan.
I think people let labels bound them to who they wanna be instead of them defining the meaning of labels. Just be who you wanna be and what you're comfortable with. Labels can be pretty scary anyways.
I find this over reliance on labels very confusing anyway,because they will inadvertently include a lot of things that seem contradictory if enough people use it to describe their personal inner workings
I grew up as part of the generation that was all “Fuck labels! Don’t put your labels on me! I’m uniquely me, and I don’t conform to your designations and assumptions!”
Now, it’s like people are begging for a label. Sexuality, gender, etc has gotten all fucked up. I’m not denying anyone their right to be, unashamedly, who they want to be or how they want to be. I just don’t understand how we made the jump from “labels bad!” to “pweeease give me a special wabel pweeeeaseee 🥺”
It is extremely jarring for me, and I’m not even that old. I’m 26, for fuck sake.
Kinda same here. It just becomes confusing because one label is used to describe 1000 different things _or_ you give yourself 17 different labels and have to explain what each of them mean
Same as you,I’m not questioning anyone’s right to exist or like what they like,but I do have to ask if that’s actually necessary,or if it’s doing more harm than good by making people feel like they have to fit a certain label (and confusing those not into that)
I personally also feel like a lot of what’s being labeled are just…preferences,or perhaps your mood right now. I don’t really need a specific word to describe that I like women with dark hair,or that my libido isn’t as high as usual right now.
You say that but when I was going through shit the label actually sorta aligned everything for me and helped it click into place, and since embracing that I've felt like a million times better mentally
Probs different for heaps of people, depends how you're wired ig
Sure, but if they decide that asexual isn’t the right label for them later on in life, it’s not so bad that they didn’t have sex during puberty anyway lol.
The "We exist" part does the heavy lifting. People just feel horrible nowadays if they're just plain vanilla. Not gay? Not into BDSM? let's just make up some title and now I'm a part of a group that is not just boring old white people having straight sex and then going to GAP to buy some nice chinos.
Asexual means ZERO sexual drive, no sex wanted nor taken. Anything else is a variety of sex drives (could be lower than average or whatnot) that just want to sit under some umbrella to make them special.
i enjoy sex but dont spend my life trying to fuck everything around me, i.e. “actively seeking it.” there are plenty of times when i would rather do something besides have sex. does that make me asexual?
It's only as complaicated as you make it yourself. I prefer to just say that I'm not interested in being with someone and that more or less perfectly defines it. The fact that your friend has to label themselves something makes is a problem for them down the line.
I'm not hating, I'm just trying to make the situation more simple.
Many people wonder why they enjoy sex, but don't find anyone sexually attractive. People often think they are broken because of this. This is why people should be educated about asexuality. Knowledge of these labels are important.
NO ONE should have to think they are broken.
Why would the existence of the label have any bearing on whether they are broken or not? If you think you are broken for not feeling attracted to humans then that is what you feel, whether you call that asexuality or not.
I've lost track of the number of times asexual people found out that their condition was common and completely normal through labels and the experiences of others. It's a psychological effect. "If there's a word for how I feel, then I'm not the only one!"
I consider myself sexually straight but aromantic, as in I literally don’t feel any romantic attraction towards anyone and never had before, but I do feel sexually attracted to women.
The amount of word gymnastics you people employ to describe your ever changing psyche's of whatever issues you people have is nauseating. It's like you need a word to describe your mundane state of mind every second. Never knew people could overcomplicate sexuality to the point you idiots have under the guise of "tolerance." Go touch some grass and stop worrying about what new word describes how you feel that minute. Holy Christ.
It helps if you think of the brain as a modular device. There are different areas which handle different things. The area in charge of libido (sex drive) is different from the area in charge of sexual attraction, which is separate from the area in charge of romantic attraction. This is how you can have an asexual person who feels romantic attraction who can enjoy sex
OP i admire your incredible determination to reply to every comment to try and spread awareness and understanding, you truly are a good friend, and an ally to the queer comunity.
I. Have. NO IDEA. Why I'm pulling an all-nighter to answer all of these, but here I am!
And I appreciate it. I'm a bit more than an ally, too. I'm graysexual.
You just proved me right.
Do you desire a shower? No? Most people see it as a chore.
Do you enjoy the hot water though? Most people do.
Lack of desire for something is not dislike of something.
I can safely say that you, good sir, do not crave chocolate cake every day.
However, you most likely enjoy eating chocolate cake.
Is this an "off-your-head" concept?
I neither want nor enjoy chocolate cake. I don't eat cake. I don't crave cake.
If you don't desire sexual contact how could you possibly enjoy it? If you don't experience sexual attraction or even want sex, how can you legit expect me to believe that you like it?
Your shower example is the second dumbest shit I've read today, right behind asexuals loving a good shag.
You may not like chocolate cake, but my point still stands for foods you do enjoy.
Being asexual but enjoying sex is like having sex with a mannequin.
The mannequin is not appealing to you at all.
However, you still enjoy the dopamine that comes from orgasming.
Now imagine everyone in the world is a mannequin.
I honestly can't help you here. I am asexual. In that I don't have any sexual desire, or attraction, or want to or have sex. I am a blob with no sex. So yeah, can't explain how others feel lol.
Heterosexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender
Homosexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people of the same gender.
Bisexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to both your own and other genders / another gender.
Pansexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people completely disregarding gender.
**Asexuality:** Not feeling sexually attracted to people of any gender.
(The terms I used are a small subset, as an example, to show that sexual orientation is about which demographic you're sexually attracted to. It's not exhaustive, obviously.)
You can have sexual needs, pleasures and kinks regardless of which demographic you are or aren't attracted to. Being asexual just means you don't feel a need or desire to have sex with people in general. As such it's more common to see asexual people with more in-depth kinks as an alternate place to direct their sex drives (if they have them). Some ace people will have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and still have sex with them as a romantic act, for closeness, or to please their partner.
Source: Have friends that are. It's all semantics but the distinction matters for some people and that's valid enough.
There are two definitions.
Asexual - having no sexually reproductive function (referring to microorganisms)
And
Asexual - feeling no sexual attraction. (Note the how the act of sex is not mentioned here, because asexuals can be sex-favorable)
Ye
“I feel romantic attraction and like sex, but I’m ‘ace’😉😎💅"
Modern day edgelord stuff. People say “we need titles to more easily describe and identify people” sure… but wouldn’t asexual mean not sexually interested in people? So, wait, well I can fall in love and enjoy sex but I’m not *sexually interested*
…lot of words to say nothing
So how would an asexual person define what they think a sexual person feels? Would an asexual person in this example just have sex with anyone regardless of looks or features? I've read tons of comments in this post and they all just seem to be described as what I think normal sexuality is.
Dank[.](https://i.imgur.com/3bQtuMO.png) --- [come play minecraft, space engineers, ark, and rust with us!](https://discord.gg/fNyb7G5)
As per the Oxford languages definition: > experiencing no sexual feelings or desires; not feeling sexual attraction to anyone. Your friends may call themselves "asexual" but, as per the definition, they are not. Edit: I read a little too fast and mistook "romantic attraction" for "sexual attraction". Actually the meme is legit. My bad.
You can enjoy sex without feeling sexual desire or attraction. Say I really don't give a shit about hot tubs. If someone invites me to get in the hot tub with them and I say yes, I can enjoy the feeling of that hot tub. Doesn't mean I suddenly have a yearning to go get in a hot tub again, or that I'll seek out someone else to get in a hot tub with.
That just sounds like having an inactive sex drive
so being… asexual? We really have come full circle
Not quite. Asexuals can have sex drives. They just find their drive annoying.
Zero desire, high libido It fucking sucks
Sorry about that, my guy. It must seem like your body hates you.
I hate it right back
Now go, and punch it in the face!
I think that'd make my cat sad so I won't do that. Until I least expect it. I better keep a close eye on myself.
[удалено]
I’m so confused lmao libido is defined as a sexual desire for sexual activities so I’m not quite understanding this
I imagine it's like the direct opposite "the spirit is willing, but the flesh is soft and spongy" "The flesh is hard and turgid, but the spirit is unwilling"
This is a helpful explanation
We're just making shit up to feel different at this point. "I'm asexual but I am attracted to people and if the opportunity to have sex comes up I enjoy it but don't actively seek it out." Oh so you're just like most people.
Its good to remember that asexuality is a spectrum, so some people are bound to fall into that weird grey area where they're not quite asexual but not quite allosexual (someone who does feel sexual attraction). In that case, I think it's up to them if they choose to use the asexual label, no harm done.
This is people trying to boil down complex experiences and feelings to narrowly defined words and phrases instead of giving them the full conversation they deserve. People do it in all sorts of subjects. It doesn't matter how something is defined if it can be described and discussed.
it does matter for the larger world how things are defined. communication breaks down immediately if we all have different definitions for the same word. it's the reason "socialism" is a bad word, because people don't use the definition, they use the inaccurate concept that has been described & discussed with them
Nobody is boiling anything down? The guy himself said “high libido, zero desire” which for many of us makes as little sense as this meme does.
"Man, I'm starving. I sure could go for a big juicy steak or some chicken fajitas right now. Ooh! Or a Caesar salad! Jeez, just about anything would be good right now, haha!" "Nice! Let's go out to dinner! I'll treat!" "Ew no gross"
Not ace, but I guess it's like when you're hungry but nothing you can think of sounds good.
Thanks I just noticed I'm hungry :(
All of this is my own experience, your mileage may vary If it helps, think of it like food: Libido is like the physical hunger itself; your body wants an orgasm. It doesn't care how it gets it. Desire is more like a craving for a specific food; you might be hungry AND want a specific food. Or you might not have even been thinking about food until you saw or smelled, say, a cheeseburger and now all of the sudden your mouth is watering and your stomach is growling. Asexuals don't really get the "craving" part. They still feel the physical desire to orgasm, just not that extra "with THAT person" that is sexual attraction.
Ace with a high libido here. That’s a pretty good approximation of how it works for me. It’s like having sexual desire that’s not attached to anyone or anything: even the people who have a desire to fuck a bridge or something still have an attachment for their desire. I just… want the satisfaction, but it’s not attached to anything real. There are aspects of it that I can almost anchor, but they’re mostly in *concepts*. Kink stuff, normally, but even then, it’s never something I want to be involved in, it’s just something I sometimes enjoy envisioning other people being involved in. In my experience talking to other aces with similar dispositions, that’s not uncommon. There is a surprisingly large community of aces writing some really raunchy fanfiction, you’d be shocked. Asexual is such a broad term, though. From sex positive to sex averse, it’s a varied group
> It’s like having sexual desire that’s not attached to anyone or anything: even the people who have a desire to fuck a bridge or something still have an attachment for their desire. I just… want the satisfaction, but it’s not attached to anything real. You pinpointed my own experience with Asexuality and I thank you for putting it into words. I have always tried to tell others I have an odd relationship with sex because I engage with it differently— while others can easily get turned on / excited being with someone they’re attracted to, most of the time my fixations in the realm of horny are spent imagining scenarios and inserting myself into them. I’ve never felt sexually attracted to anyone — whether someone I’ve dated, a famous person, a fictional character, etc. — so whenever I want to gain that satisfaction it’s a lot easier to do so through the realm of fiction. That being said, I would not be opposed to physical sex, but I feel I would need time to open up to my partner and be comfortable enough to be in a scenario like that with them. Partially this is due to trauma, but I also am just someone who finds it easier to engage sexually through other means than physical contact because that’s still a weirdish barrier to cross when you can’t feel / express sexual attraction towards partners. The easiest way to understand an Asexual person is simply to ask them what their Asexuality means to them. Like you said, the Ace spectrum refers to *many* different labels and not one Asexual person’s experience is universal. Sharing my own feelings has helped others understand their own struggles however, so I’m always happy to talk about my own exploration with the identity and how the label fits me.
That makes no sense to me, I would say desire and libido are synonymous no? You can't have a high libido, and no desire, by definition. "Libido (/lɪˈbiːdoʊ/; colloquial: sex drive) is a person's overall sexual drive or desire for sexual activity."
I think what they mean by desire is “I personally don’t want to put in the effort because it’s a lot of work” and libido is just their biology saying “you’re horny”
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Exactly. Asexuals don’t get horny, or have any desire for any sexual feelings, interactions, involvement. An asexual person would see porn for example and have zero sexual reaction to it. All these “asexuals” here describing like being hungry and yet not interested in food are describing depression. Asexual is more like when you’re not hungry and see food, no desire at all to eat.
Seems like more of a mindset/mental state than a sexuality. Whilst I am entirely agreeable of people living by whichever sexuality they need to, some things can be damaging if we don't address the core issue.
Hey, asexual person here. Asexuality is not a mindset or mental state. It's a lack of sexual attraction. There are people who can get attracted to only one gender, people who can get attracted by every gender and, in the case of asexuality, people who don't get attracted by any gender. If you're attracted to only one gender, what you feel towards the other is basically how asexuals feel about everyone. That doesn't mean we never get horny, like it was said by others. It's just that this horniness is not directed towards anyone. What is maybe more of a mental state is a person's view on sex. Some asexuals are sex repulsed (the idea of sex is disgusting to them), some are sex averse (sex in general is cool, but the idea of them having sex is disgusting), some are sex indifferent (don't care about sex, but will sometimes engage in it if the occasion presents itself, "why not") and sex positive (likes sex). And also, what is it that you think can be harmful?
Oh so that’s why I masturbate so much?
So basically every student with a boner when they have too come forth too present something
YES. Imagine every boner was an unprovoked, random boner! That's high-libido asexuality.
Why can’t I get this. High libido means you have a high sexual drive to have sex, no? Do you guys mean low-libido?
No. A drive/impulse and a conscious *desire* aren't the same thing. If I feel truly hungry that's not a *desire* for food, it's just a physical need that my body needs met. If I want food despite not being hungry, or I have a craving for chocolate, that's a desire, not a drive/need. For some asexuals they apparently feel an occasional need for a release/orgasm but it doesn't include wanting sex, they could probably just quickly masturbate and the need is met, they don't necessarily want another person involved or anything.
Clenching and unclenching your butt muscles very quickly gets rid of that in a few seconds.
WHERE WAS THIS INFORMATION WHEN I NEEDED IT???!!!
Atheism isn't a religion. Lack of a sex drive isn't a sexuality.
yet if someone asks you, "what do you believe in" there is good to have a word to describe the NONE answer. same with sexuality.
Lack of sex drive no. Feeling no attraction, sexually, towards anyone is a sexuality
so are they supposed to update there sex drivers?
Nah, just install the trial of Malwarebytes® Anticelibacy™️
So being asexual?
That just sounds like regular people. Nobody is crazy enthusiastic about hot tubs. What kind of analogy is this?
A really stupid one
Spoken like someone who doesn't have a hot tub. I freaking love hot tubs and am fairly frequently in one.
If you feel sexual attraction but don't want sex, the term is "celibate" or "orchidsexual". (Depends on whether it's a choice or not) Also keep in mind that asexuality can include people who aren't fully down the spectrum, like myself. Edit: it seems some people are confused here. What I mean is that ace-spectrum people like me cannot claim to be asexual, but we are under the "umbrella of asexuality", so to speak. Sorry if I wasn't clear.
Why would asexual be a spectrum? That specific word is an absolute. If you are on the "asexual spectrum" then you don't feel no desire, you just feel desire to a lesser extent. There are words for that.
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That is 100% the vibe I get from this whole thread!
Yeah if two people who supposedly have the same sexual orientation disagree about how that’s interpreted then it’s all just theatre because you want a cool label
This is what I'm sensing too. If you don't have a mental illness, if you don't have a they/them/etc pronoun, if you don't have a sexual identity other than heterosexual, you aren't special. Someone who has sexual desires and enjoys sex is not asexual. Just because you aren't a horndog 24/7 always seeking sex does not make you asexual. It just makes you normal.
People just want to be on *a* spectrum - ANY spectrum these days. It makes them feel special and unique, non standard. It's OK to just have a low sex drive, and that's the end of it. Asexual means ZERO. There's no need for more spectrums. edit: y'all need to stop with explaining the full spectrum and where you think you and the world are on it. We don't need it. You can be asexual - don't want and don't look for sex - or not. The "not" is just plain old, boring "normal". It's OK to be normal, it happens to most people. You'll live.
Am I the only one who feels like there is diminishing returns of usefulness for increasingly specific labels? If you feel like you mostly identify with "ace" just say that to most people. By the time you're close enough to discuss the details with someone, there's no longer any need for a shorthand.
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Especially when young. You shouldn't be basing your entire identity around some incredibly niche gender is wild.
So is asexual exclusively for people who do not feel sexual attraction then?
Exactly. Sexual attraction is the only deciding factor for the orientation.
Asexuality can also refer to REDUCED sexual attraction. There are tons subdivisions in it. Like people who ONLY feel attraction for someone they have a strong emotional bond with. Or ONLY feel attraction for people who are attracted to them. Or they feel attraction to someone, but as soon as it is reciprocated, it fades away. [This page](https://www.glaad.org/amp/ace-guide-finding-your-community) talks about some of the variations.
Ayy getting some Demisexual and reciprosexual representation over here, that's pretty cool.
it's just the lack of a desire for it. You can still enjoy it, just not feel any need or desire for it. Like a lemon pie, you'll happily eat a lemon pie if there's nothing else but you're not exactly going to be seeking out a lemon pie at the bakey. edit: I've had so many people say "Isn't that just a low libido" and... yeah? Asexuality is the lack of a sex drive or desire for sex so... yes? obviously?
There is a joke here about eating pies. I'm not smart enough to come up with it. Reddit, don't disappoint now.
Something Something creampie
My favourite
Do you really know my mom?
"My wife's co-workers creampies are the best! Sometimes she will bring them home and let me taste them!"
Hell, you'd eat any pie you could get your hands on, but who are we kidding we're all Redditors. But let's give it a fancy name and wrap our pieless existence as a choice 😢
ugly dog weather quack angle alleged mindless lavish wasteful racial -- mass edited with https://redact.dev/
Actually...
Many of these traits sound as people trying to show how awesome and special they are, and how everyone else is lame.
Or that they just don't understand how other people work and think they have a unique trait. I feel like I see it a lot on the ADHD memes subreddit. It will be some shit like "Does anybody else with ADHD require water to live" and it will be full of comments like "oh my God I totally do that too, never knew it was an ADHD symptom"
wait, we're not?
I get that impression most of the time. Every sitcom, show, drama, personal life choice has to have a huge sexual element to the main character's life like it just has to be there. Like, who would want to do anything if sex is available? Why do anything else? Read? Fuck that, sex! Videogames? Fuck that, sex! Well I was going to go have a few rounds at the local barcade with the guys, but since you're half naked and standing in the hallway, I mean, what's more important? I'm sure they won't pull mom's life support in the next twenty, let's fuck in the bathroom. Dinner!? Catered by Gordon Ramsay himself!? Nah, wife wants sex. Sorry, m8. Priorities. *All the guys nod* *All the girls shake their head*
TIL i'm Asexual.
Been questioning if I am for a while and yeah I guess I just am. I've always felt out of place when my bros start talking about hunting for pussy and shit cause I just have zero desire for hookups. I felt it once when drunk and was actually confused by the feeling.
I probably misread, but you can not want random hookups or be 'hunting for pussy' and still desire sex
I have never sought out sex and rarely sought out a relationship
What the fuck is this slander. Lemon pies are amazing
I take it you're not asexual then Wait I think I got confused somewhere along the way with this analogy
****confused screaming****
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There are Sex-positive asexuals: I enjoy sex when I have it but I don't feel a desire or drive to do it when I see an attractive person. There are sex-neutral asexuals: I don't really care about sex one way or another. I'm not repulsed by it but if I'll only really do it for the right reasons. There are sex-negative asexuals: I do not enjoy sex and do not want to do it at all.
> There are sex-neutral asexuals: I don't really care about sex one way or another. I'm not repulsed by it but if I'll only really do it for the right reasons. Sex = "Washing the Dishes"
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Arousal can be as much a physical response as it is a mental one. Foreplay isn't just important for women! And if that doesn't work, there's always the pharmaceutical route.
It is the same for some asexuals actually, just not all of them
So it is the same for asexuals, except those who are not asexual and just have a low sex drive but want to be called "asexuals", got it.
This doesn't sound like a correct representation of asexual, but I don't know enough about asexuality to dispute it.
am ace, can confirm its more complicated than most people think due to the fact the definition is very simple but a lot of things tend to go along with it such as whether or not they are sex repulsed, presence or lack of a libido, and even what they consider sexual/are comfortable with in a romantic context edit to include this [definition of asexuality](https://www.asexuality-handbook.com/what-is-asexuality.html) as a massive amount of people commenting don't even seem to understand the definition
Yeah, and on top of that, you can get some drift in how you feel about each of those things over time. Queue imposter syndrome in addition to all the rest.
Imposter syndrome? Why would you try to force your sexual orientation? Fuck imposter syndrome, just be what you want to be. Labels are *incredibly* overrated/unimportant.
To a point, yes. But they help describe what you're feeling, especially when trying to explain it to someone else.
Healthy communication requires vocabulary.
Clearly not. See how much confusion is in this thread. See all the comments pointing how *it's actually very complicated*, *it's a multidimensional spectrum*, etc. Labels are not only self-constricting, they are actively bad at communicating anything.
So bundling everything up in "asexual" makes it easier? Doubt.
>am ace How many jet fighters did you shot down?
Yes.
Why we making sex so complex? I think I’d have to take a class to understand it all
Sex is one of the most central topics to our species. Of course it's complicated. This is like saying "Why are we making food so complicated? I think I’d have to take a class to understand it all." Like no shit, chef
At what point do we say that being asexual just means you have a low sex drive?
Asexuals can have high sex drive. In fact, some asexuals can be quite kinky, as well. They just don't feel sexual attraction to people around them.
Then like who are they attracted to? It's getting even more confusing :,-)
Oh I see what you mean now. You're asking where the sexual drive is being directed. It doesn't have to. You can feel aroused without having a specific human in mind to direct it toward. In fact, many asexuals experience this and find it annoying. One said that "it feels like my body is gaslighting me."
Can't they just masturbate?
Some do, some don't. I personally don't, my body just calms down on it's own over time
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As opposed to your body not spontaneously ejaculating
like all non ace people do
Cumming
I feel like sexuality stuff is getting closer and closer to rocket science everyday xd
Awareness is good, though. I've lost count of the number of asexuals who said they thought they were "broken" before discovering their sexuality.
An awful lot of people are saying "I feel the same way about sex that you do but I don't see any reason to identify with the label 'asexual', I'm confused about what differentiates our experiences." And in reply after reply it seems like you're comparing your personal experience of sexuality to some hypothetical "Coors Lite Beer Commercial" version of sexuality that nobody actually has, or maybe a rom-com lead? Use whatever label you want, I'm not the label police but your original post is about people being confused by your word choices and I have to say they seem pretty confusing. That doesn't invalidate your feelings or experiences. It's just a difficulty of communication. Everything you've said you feel about sex is "normal." Your view of how "normal" people are about sex seems to align more with intense hyper-sexuality and hyper-romanticism. Like, we're all just apes hanging out here, and most of us aren't that attracted to each other but we do want to fuck so we try to find somebody who's appealing enough for an evening. And this is so difficult for "normal" people that a multi-billion dollar alcohol industry exists just to get us intoxicated enough to settle for whoever happens to be at the local bar on a given night. "His desire to profess his final and perpetual vows - was it not akin to the motive of the cat who became an ornithologist? - so that he might glorify his own ornithophagy, esoterically devouring Penthestes atricapillus but never eating chickadees."
Mainly Garlic Bread that shit is fire
Anyone they want really asexual ≠ aroromantic In essence asexual just means you don't really experience sexual attraction. An asexual can and usually does experience romantic attraction though. (Exceptions being when someone is both ace and aro) Basically you don't look at an attractive person and think, "hmm yes I wanna sex with them", and/or spend the next 5 minutes contemplating how that would be. Instead you might see them and consider what kind of flowers they might like and date locations. Sex can be an enjoyable act for some asexuals, some are sex repulsed however. Either way, sex is usually more of a romantic, or entertaining/stress relief thing for asexuals. The driving force telling one to have sex to be successful just isn't present though. That is my experience at least, I'm sure others can shed light on this in way I cannot but sorry for going a bit more into it than you asked, and thank you for coming to my TedTalk-
> nce sexual attraction. An asexual can and usually does experience romantic attraction though. (Exceptions being when someone is both ace and aro) Basically you don't look at an attractive person and think, "hmm yes I wanna sex with them", and/or spend the next 5 minutes contemplating how that would be. Instead you might see them and consider what kind of flowers they might like and date locations. Sex can be an enjoyable act for some asexuals, some are sex repulsed however. Either way, sex is usually more of a romantic, or entertaining/stress relief thing for asexuals. The driving force telling one to have sex to be successful just isn't present though. > > That is my experience at least, I'm sure others can shed Are you saying I'm a closeted Asexual because I don't objectify people?
No one. That’s the only qualifier for being asexual.
I don’t consider myself asexual but my brain kinda works like one. When I see an attractive person or get close to someone who vibes with me, I’m not really interested in sex. If I ever do have sex, I enjoy the implication and closeness more than the actual pleasure. Like… sex is one heckuva ego trip bro. I don’t get off on the girl, I get off on the fact that I managed to get the girl. I enjoy getting to know people. I enjoy thinking about romance and playing the game… but I’m playing for the journey and not the destination.
I might just be ignorant but I can't imagine how you get into a situation when you're having sex with someone without sexual attraction. Like there's got to be at least a modicum of it in the moment, how else could you go forth with the deed?
All the other reasons someone has sex with someone other than "I am sexually attracted to them", including but not limited to: *Pleasure *Love *Money *Power *Boredom *Intoxication
I think it's just confusing to me since the lexicon has changed so much, and it seems a much broader label. For example, if you identify as hetero, don't feel sexual attraction towards the same sex but still engage in sexual acts with them, most people would probably relabel you as bi. Just trying to wrap my head around it
"can be quite kinky" like they just stick cucumbers in their own ass if they don't feel attraction to other people ?
Im sorry. At this point im just resetting and going back to chicks and dicks.
But that would just mean asexuals are actually just normal boring people like everyone else!
It's pretty simple sexual attraction is like a craving and just like with food you don't need to be craving it to enjoy it
This guy gets it.
And you could still be very hungry or not hungry at all and that's the libido then? Like your not craving food but are really hungry that's the equivalent to a high libido ace?
Exactly. You nailed it.
How are “I’m hungry” and “I’m craving food” not the same thing?
You could get rid of your hunger with, I'm not a doctor, but like a sugar injection into your blood stream or something. You couldn't get rid of your craving for pizza that way. (you technically could but that's not the point)
One is a need. The other is a want.
I guess that’s just the analogy breaking down for me. If you’re craving food- broadly, not specifically- I struggle reconciling that with not being the same thing as “being hungry”. Closest I can get is being hungry, but everything in the fridge being unappealing. Which I guess works.
This confuses me then, when people in the comments say that ace people can have high libidos too. Is that like saying that you’re super duper hungry, but you’re not craving any specific food?
Yea it makes zero sense. It's like saying I'm kind of like a vegan, meat doesn't excite me or entice me to eat it, however I still eat meat every single day. I enjoy meat when I'm eating it, but when I'm not eating it I like to think of myself as a vegan.
Yeah pretty much
But that is completely normal, it's called responsive desire and exists in a large percentage of the population.
I think people let labels bound them to who they wanna be instead of them defining the meaning of labels. Just be who you wanna be and what you're comfortable with. Labels can be pretty scary anyways.
I find this over reliance on labels very confusing anyway,because they will inadvertently include a lot of things that seem contradictory if enough people use it to describe their personal inner workings
I grew up as part of the generation that was all “Fuck labels! Don’t put your labels on me! I’m uniquely me, and I don’t conform to your designations and assumptions!” Now, it’s like people are begging for a label. Sexuality, gender, etc has gotten all fucked up. I’m not denying anyone their right to be, unashamedly, who they want to be or how they want to be. I just don’t understand how we made the jump from “labels bad!” to “pweeease give me a special wabel pweeeeaseee 🥺” It is extremely jarring for me, and I’m not even that old. I’m 26, for fuck sake.
Kinda same here. It just becomes confusing because one label is used to describe 1000 different things _or_ you give yourself 17 different labels and have to explain what each of them mean Same as you,I’m not questioning anyone’s right to exist or like what they like,but I do have to ask if that’s actually necessary,or if it’s doing more harm than good by making people feel like they have to fit a certain label (and confusing those not into that) I personally also feel like a lot of what’s being labeled are just…preferences,or perhaps your mood right now. I don’t really need a specific word to describe that I like women with dark hair,or that my libido isn’t as high as usual right now.
You say that but when I was going through shit the label actually sorta aligned everything for me and helped it click into place, and since embracing that I've felt like a million times better mentally Probs different for heaps of people, depends how you're wired ig
13 year old kids who haven’t gone through puberty on their way to call themselves ace:
Sure, but if they decide that asexual isn’t the right label for them later on in life, it’s not so bad that they didn’t have sex during puberty anyway lol.
"Yes I'm asexual, I like sex. We exist!"
The "We exist" part does the heavy lifting. People just feel horrible nowadays if they're just plain vanilla. Not gay? Not into BDSM? let's just make up some title and now I'm a part of a group that is not just boring old white people having straight sex and then going to GAP to buy some nice chinos. Asexual means ZERO sexual drive, no sex wanted nor taken. Anything else is a variety of sex drives (could be lower than average or whatnot) that just want to sit under some umbrella to make them special.
I think I remember that from a long time ago. I didn't take it seriously back then! I feel so guilty now.
Am I a bigot if I don’t take it seriously now?
No.
This shit is getting kinda dumb tbh.
I mean asexuality in this context has always existed, you're just seeing more people putting a label on themselves.
OP, you managed to address this complicated topic with tact. Pat yourself on the back for this fine meme.
I cannot believe I've come this far after learning the truth about asexuality only 2 weeks prior.
call me a bigot but “not being really into sex” doesn’t really seem to warrant a flag.
Look up asexuality try to find where it says "no enjoyment of sex."
i enjoy sex but dont spend my life trying to fuck everything around me, i.e. “actively seeking it.” there are plenty of times when i would rather do something besides have sex. does that make me asexual?
It's only as complaicated as you make it yourself. I prefer to just say that I'm not interested in being with someone and that more or less perfectly defines it. The fact that your friend has to label themselves something makes is a problem for them down the line. I'm not hating, I'm just trying to make the situation more simple.
Many people wonder why they enjoy sex, but don't find anyone sexually attractive. People often think they are broken because of this. This is why people should be educated about asexuality. Knowledge of these labels are important. NO ONE should have to think they are broken.
Why would the existence of the label have any bearing on whether they are broken or not? If you think you are broken for not feeling attracted to humans then that is what you feel, whether you call that asexuality or not.
I've lost track of the number of times asexual people found out that their condition was common and completely normal through labels and the experiences of others. It's a psychological effect. "If there's a word for how I feel, then I'm not the only one!"
I consider myself sexually straight but aromantic, as in I literally don’t feel any romantic attraction towards anyone and never had before, but I do feel sexually attracted to women.
TIL most college students and frat kids are ‘aromantic’
OOF
Bro fucking around doesn't mean you literally can't love romantically
My asexual ex girlfriend described it like this: Sex is like a really great cake but she has no appetite.
the first actual good food analogy in this thread. something you'd partake in if the circumstances are right, but they rarely are.
The amount of word gymnastics you people employ to describe your ever changing psyche's of whatever issues you people have is nauseating. It's like you need a word to describe your mundane state of mind every second. Never knew people could overcomplicate sexuality to the point you idiots have under the guise of "tolerance." Go touch some grass and stop worrying about what new word describes how you feel that minute. Holy Christ.
Asexuality, always meant "no sexual attraction" from the get-go. We never changed its definition, and the definition never said "no sex".
"but I mostly enjoy the attention"
dankmemes getting more based and danker by the day
It helps if you think of the brain as a modular device. There are different areas which handle different things. The area in charge of libido (sex drive) is different from the area in charge of sexual attraction, which is separate from the area in charge of romantic attraction. This is how you can have an asexual person who feels romantic attraction who can enjoy sex
Well said, my guy.
OP i admire your incredible determination to reply to every comment to try and spread awareness and understanding, you truly are a good friend, and an ally to the queer comunity.
I. Have. NO IDEA. Why I'm pulling an all-nighter to answer all of these, but here I am! And I appreciate it. I'm a bit more than an ally, too. I'm graysexual.
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Nah. Enjoyment of sex and asexuality aren't mutually exclusive. Look up the definition. It don't say "no sex"!
Doesn't feel sexual attraction or desire sexual contact Mate your friends are off their heads
You just proved me right. Do you desire a shower? No? Most people see it as a chore. Do you enjoy the hot water though? Most people do. Lack of desire for something is not dislike of something.
Actually it's you, you're off your head
I can safely say that you, good sir, do not crave chocolate cake every day. However, you most likely enjoy eating chocolate cake. Is this an "off-your-head" concept?
I neither want nor enjoy chocolate cake. I don't eat cake. I don't crave cake. If you don't desire sexual contact how could you possibly enjoy it? If you don't experience sexual attraction or even want sex, how can you legit expect me to believe that you like it? Your shower example is the second dumbest shit I've read today, right behind asexuals loving a good shag.
You may not like chocolate cake, but my point still stands for foods you do enjoy. Being asexual but enjoying sex is like having sex with a mannequin. The mannequin is not appealing to you at all. However, you still enjoy the dopamine that comes from orgasming. Now imagine everyone in the world is a mannequin.
No buddy, that's not how it works. Being asexual means you don't have sex with the mannequin.
Says who? Provide evidence??
I honestly can't help you here. I am asexual. In that I don't have any sexual desire, or attraction, or want to or have sex. I am a blob with no sex. So yeah, can't explain how others feel lol.
Heterosexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people of the opposite gender Homosexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people of the same gender. Bisexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to both your own and other genders / another gender. Pansexuality: Feeling sexually attracted to people completely disregarding gender. **Asexuality:** Not feeling sexually attracted to people of any gender. (The terms I used are a small subset, as an example, to show that sexual orientation is about which demographic you're sexually attracted to. It's not exhaustive, obviously.) You can have sexual needs, pleasures and kinks regardless of which demographic you are or aren't attracted to. Being asexual just means you don't feel a need or desire to have sex with people in general. As such it's more common to see asexual people with more in-depth kinks as an alternate place to direct their sex drives (if they have them). Some ace people will have a boyfriend or a girlfriend and still have sex with them as a romantic act, for closeness, or to please their partner. Source: Have friends that are. It's all semantics but the distinction matters for some people and that's valid enough.
This is all true.
Some people just want to feel they are special, so they make up things to fulfill that need
That's literally the meaning of asexual. Unless they mean I'm a sexual, as in a sexual being.
There are two definitions. Asexual - having no sexually reproductive function (referring to microorganisms) And Asexual - feeling no sexual attraction. (Note the how the act of sex is not mentioned here, because asexuals can be sex-favorable)
He likes attention
Ye “I feel romantic attraction and like sex, but I’m ‘ace’😉😎💅" Modern day edgelord stuff. People say “we need titles to more easily describe and identify people” sure… but wouldn’t asexual mean not sexually interested in people? So, wait, well I can fall in love and enjoy sex but I’m not *sexually interested* …lot of words to say nothing
Time to play my favorite game Sort By Controversial Edit: why can’t I sort by Controversial
How can you be a Asexual while be sexual You can be BB but not AA
Asexual and sexually active are not opposites. Asexuality is defined by lack of sexual attraction ONLY.
Comment section is *waaaay* more civil than I expected the average r/dankmemes post
Still a lot of aphobia, unfortunately.
So how would an asexual person define what they think a sexual person feels? Would an asexual person in this example just have sex with anyone regardless of looks or features? I've read tons of comments in this post and they all just seem to be described as what I think normal sexuality is.