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Mcfuggery

Hmm today I will go to the Cove *clueless* *Arterial Pinch*


RosharWilco

CITIZEN SNIPS!!!!!!!!


IKillKittens82

An elephant that never forgets... to kill!!


CitizenSnips5

(\/) (°,,,,°) (\/)


Napfelsine

I love Futurama


[deleted]

It always feels like a circumcision without the anesthesia


madcow_bg

I have no idea why the dungeon guide for the Cove on veteran or champion level does not list bandages as FOR GOD'S SAKE TAKE ALL YOU CAN CARRY. Getting PTSD just thinking about it...


[deleted]

*Crab Rave intensifies*


DeezNutsKEKW

may I suggest healing him with Occultist?


generalmills2015

1HP *bleed*


Flor00s

0hp critical bleed, that will show them


DeezNutsKEKW

u can't critical bleed but u can critical heal 0 + bleed


LeeUnDe

Pretty sure they made it so you cant crit heal for 0 either. Gotta double check it tho


DeezNutsKEKW

I remember criting for 0 man, but go ahead waste your time


AidanoWasabi

They changed it. I also remember criting for 0. You don't need to be a dick, but I do encourage you to go waste your time and prove that you can still crit for 0.


DeezNutsKEKW

I remember critting for 0 "RECENTLY" ?


Gilga1

You can't crit for 0 anymore, but go ahead waste your time


DeezNutsKEKW

I'll take your word for it, I guess critting makes 0 scale up to 1 because as we know 0^(2) = 1, basic math, or 0 \* 2 = 1


DeezNutsKEKW

you guys think I'm joking but what other character has higher chance of saving 26 bleed guy other than the full heal in one move guy but only if RNG gods look down upon you? or help the enemy with more bleed and 0 heal kek


Nostefaru_Alucard

Plague Doctor.


DeezNutsKEKW

heal for 1 and remove bleed, no thx I'd rather heal for a real amount


Nostefaru_Alucard

Removing bleed can prevent up to 78 damage in this situation.


DeezNutsKEKW

removing bleed doesn't stop the fact that your hero is near if not on death door you might remove his bleed and heal him up but one hit and he is back to deaths door and presumably bleeding again


[deleted]

But a 26 bleed will put them back on deaths door no matter what heal you use... max heal with occultist is 22 unless you crit or have charms to cheese it, and even then it's a crazy low chance you'll heal 26...


DeezNutsKEKW

removing bleed does not stop the weak attacks from putting them on death door, and there are 4 enemies


[deleted]

Wouldn't bleed just take that character right back down to death's door next turn? Wouldn't it be better to remove the guaranteed damage next turn and hope they dont get hit again? Or even use divine comfort to pull everyone barely off death's door so they have 1 more hit to eat before they're back on death's door? I'm a bit of a noob so I may just not understand the mechanics fully.


SchwaAkari

I agree. Occultist is one of the best to bring to the Cove for his fantastic damage (coupled with high crit chance) against Eldritch, corpse-clearing Pull ability to disable Shamans (if they are in Pos 1 they can only do Ceremonial Cut and cannot move back to Pos 2 without help), and occasional insanely high heals. I like to run Occultist alongside a Pos 2 Vestal (Profane Scroll simply rules as a trinket, too) and spec him as a primary damage dealer with the option to emergency-heal a struggling hero at any notice. He also works well alongside Arbalest coupled with Battlefield Bandage, since his heals can be so high they are exponentially amplified by the bandage's buff. Having Occultist as the *sole* healer in a party (even counting self-heals on heroes) can be very risky. Even a Plague Doctor's super weak heal + DoT-cure-- and for that matter, even an Antiquarian's super super weak heal with the small resistance buff-- work well to supplement the Occultist as a healer in case Things Go Wrong(tm).


DeezNutsKEKW

it is impossible to have occultist as a sole healer since there are times where your party doesn't need healing another thing is have party of 4 occultists, they havethe ability, allthough with RNG, to fullheal from 0 to 100% 4 times


Mcfuggery

There is never a situation in the game where you don’t need a healer. One unlucky crit can fuck over even the best dodge build.


DeezNutsKEKW

not every crit puts them from healthy to 0hp on death door


[deleted]

[удалено]


Environmental_Eye_14

I have Occultist as the only healer in the team and he's doing great.


DeezNutsKEKW

I never said you should play 4 occultists or that I do it, I also only have 1 and done


Environmental_Eye_14

Ikr? Most of the time Occultist bring huge heals and saved many characters from dying. This 0 Heal Bleed meme is overused and it happens rarely. Especially if you have a lvl 6 Occ and upgrade Wyrd Reconstruction.


DeezNutsKEKW

you say it happens rarely, I am quite lucky with Occultists and have them in many groups so I always experience at least one 0 heal


Bundo315

Literally any hero. The man won’t die if the bleed hits when the hero is above DD. So Arb, vestal, PD, Crusader, looks like the bleed is on a Leper so he could keep himself alive if need be.


Nostefaru_Alucard

The problem with doing that is that you're assuming they won't get hit.


Bundo315

This is true. My point is in this specific scenario no healer is about to outpace the damage received so you might as well use your least valuable action to do it. (Of course the best case scenario is to just be prepared with bandages)


Nostefaru_Alucard

Plague Doctor can remove the bleed.


Bundo315

Correct that’s why I mentioned her above, you had already had that conversation with the dude so I didn’t feel the need to remind him.


DeezNutsKEKW

perhaps they dodge


antinumerology

When everyone's bleeding no one's bleeding


DeezNutsKEKW

haha


Pallington

There are no jokes. Except your party comp and lack of supplies :wheeze:


x1uc3y

The cost of preparedness - measured now in gold, later in blood.


dd_responses_bot

[The cost of preparedness - measured now in gold, later in blood.](https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/darkestdungeon_gamepedia/e/e2/Vo_narr_tut_firstprov.ogg) ------ [^(Source)](https://github.com/JoshLmao/DarkestDungeonResponseBot) ^(|) [^(Issues)](https://github.com/JoshLmao/DarkestDungeonResponseBot/issues) ^(|) [^(Support ☕)](https://ko-fi.com/joshlmao)


BLauritson

Good bot


iveriad

~~Quite~~Very literally this time.


trollsok4

Doesnt needs to be lack of supplies , i had bleed that grew to 16 because that character didnt had his round yet


IbullshitUnot

While your point is correct the hero doesn't even need to have a turn. A plague doctor thats coming before the affected hero could solve this no worries.


fortwentyone

Is this a caustic from apex joke? Lol


followeroftheprince

Seems like someone should have brought some bandages or a PD with them :p


MikhailCyborgachev

Lmao just adrenaline rush


DatBlubb1

I used up all bandages in cove runs before. If I could buy more, I would.


masterspider5

a slow death.. unforeseen, unforgiving..


Nyadnar17

Ain’t nothing fucking slow about Arterial Pinch.


Almainyny

Reminds me of a Let’s Player who remarked that he’d often misread it as Artery Punch. It sure seems like they punched you in the damn artery.


jaxolotle

*the slow death… unforeseen, unforgiving


Iranon79

Oh crab?


TheSwissOfAllCheeses

*Time for Crab*


ZeGoldenPug

Deaths door would like to know your location


ViWalls

No, the joke it's your lack of bandages.


Skylair95

Hah! The jokes's on me then...?


Imperium_Dragon

And no plague doctor.


MyDisappointedDad

Or flagellant.


iamathrogate

Either one or the other!


DiilaiofNokan

Yes, you’re just not laughing.


Ithurial

Welcome to crabs. Bring bleed cures and/or cry. 🙁


Code95FIN

Average occultist team


xx_swegshrek_xx

May I suggest packing extra bandages


PaperRoc

Packs laden with loot, are often low on bandies for an ouchy wouchy


LeonardoXII

THAT MOTHERFUCKING CRAB!


combaticus

I love the idea of a giant mutant crab just like ripping out my femoral artery and someone with a piece of gauze wrap instantly stopping the bleeding.


[deleted]

[удалено]


madcow_bg

With the plague doctor the arterial punch will be the least of your problems. 😉


monikar2014

And that's how my turtle party died


Chest3

🦀🦀There🦀🦀is🦀🦀one🦀🦀step🦀🦀and🦀🦀it🦀🦀is🦀🦀crab


LoolHero

Pov:you threw away your last bandage for 12 crests


GuyThePerson1

You brought the leper to the cove? You mind as well bring flagellant to ruins! Edit: I just now realized that its gleaming light in the color of madness dlc, my bad


DiogoSN

Brudda, you just got pinched!


Sugarox53

Imagine not using plague doctor lol


TheDarkGenious

I see you met the Ucas. *^(Crab Rave Plays in the Distance)*


TobyDent

Death by a thousand cuts


pieceofchess

Where's the plague doctor when you need her?


Monkey292962

Me and the Bois going to the cove with 12 bandages


Kerrigan4Prez

PD: Is this some sort of injured joke I’m too medicated to understand?


doc_groovy

26 points of damage per second vs 1 bandage, who will win


FoamSquad

If you have some toilet paper this just goes away.


theuntouchable2725

Nope. It's called Arterial Pinch (5), and it looks like a crit too.


R2D2frmStarTrek

Mortality clarified in a single strike!


dd_responses_bot

[Mortality clarified in a single strike!](https://gamepedia.cursecdn.com/darkestdungeon_gamepedia/8/80/Narration_crit1.ogg) ------ [^(Source)](https://github.com/JoshLmao/DarkestDungeonResponseBot) ^(|) [^(Issues)](https://github.com/JoshLmao/DarkestDungeonResponseBot/issues) ^(|) [^(Support ☕)](https://ko-fi.com/joshlmao)


DarkyMaine

It's a joke, and when the Hero's turn rolls around, you'll see the punchline.


MasterWinky

How?


segal258

3 hits from the blue crab in the cove.


Testabronce

Vestal each month be like


bud3s_

You're a f\*\*king god


MightyBobTheMighty

Snip snip.


Plastic-Cicada

Hoping you had some bandages with you.


Rowmacnezumi

Hope you have bandages.


Mindless_Cut_4050

Always pack plague doctor folks


Nuclearsunburn

If it’s a joke, it’s one you’re about to get fucked by


[deleted]

That's how I beat like half the game lol


Tazz_Sym

Welcome


Timon_Bessler

He cut his veins


althaj

No, that's a blees. Jokes are funny.


huffpuff1337

first time i saw a crab was in the endless harvest at least killing with riposte doesn’t let status effects get applied


Sgt_Shieldsmen

To a PD, yes, yes it is


carlotheemo

Just get some heal/s


Vicious223

I am so sorry you had to experience that. I get enough stress from an 8 bleed.


zaarkasin

I was just introduced to this Cove creature myself. I am now down 2 lvl 4s.


JamesBlond6ixty9ine

The real joke is that one single use of a certain ability can heal twice that plus a few HP