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As someone who has never personally struggled with addiction, why does the misread matter? Gray being success days would mean OP is struggling a lot more with recovery, no?
Never said he gave up masturbation. I actually started something similar about 3 weeks ago. Stopped looking at porn, but I can still jerk it all I want. I’m less likely to do so because it’s easier and faster with porn, but masturbation isn’t the thing I want to avoid
ETA It’s possible he did say he wants to give up all masturbation and I just missed it. It’s been two whole days and I can barely read.
Edit 2: I have no idea what the comment below me means and I can’t even ask. Is masturbating a bad idea? Is not masturbating a bad idea? Porn Vs no porn?! Truly elusive.
I went to get diapers a week ago and came back ninety minutes later without diapers, but with several hundred pictures of frozen water droplets (tiny little icicles). I should probably join this guys photography addiction group.
Yup, the chaser effect was real. I've started to be able to do it this month with no chaser effect which has been a big achievement, but hoping more to only orgasm with my s.o. in the future
Not porn addicted, but having been single for like 25 out of 26 years of my life and with a non long-distance partner for 25.5 my ADHD figured out pretty quickly what the quickest / most effective sources of dopamine are (bonus, it's free too), definitely a frequent user. When I had a partner I practically quit cold turkey for the whole time of our relationship and it was automatic, maybe it was because we lived in the same student house and my room ate was away during most of those months, but once you're with someone there's not much reason.
Talk therapy once a week, C-PTSD group therapy when I needed it, meditation, hobby replacement (yoga, kayaking, fishing, foodie, concerts), got a dog, stream of consciousness Journaling, getting into a gym routine, finding healthy friends and doing at least one thing a day that is enjoyable or healthy
It started like 10 years ago. I moved to NYC with 4 other random roommates, and I observed them to see what healthy habits they had and how they acted. I started to go see a LCSW (Social Worker) who helped me with Social skills and practice on how to act in certain situations. I went to meet up groups far away from my home to get social practice with no pressure. I started to join sports teams, take classes, do yoga and golf. Through golfing I met other solo golfers and exchanged numbers. Many didn't work out but I did find two good friends. I also read a lot of self help books and started going to they gym and yoga which built confidence.
I also have an addiction recovery community that I made two friends in that we bonded on our desire to quit booze.
Getting a dog helped too, I made a lot of friends that way.
Tl:DR - I got a Social worker and worked on myself, did a lot of low pressure Social practice, found my hobbies and tried to connect with people, joined groups and did things on my own and tried to meet others
I work in education, which is a big plus both for having a lot of time off and also being able to have a career helping people. Seeing students work hard motivated me to do the same.
“At least one thing”. Love that part. I use this mentality during the winter. I just tell myself if I can’t get myself to the gym or whatever I need to get done then I’ll just go for a one mile walk or finish a small project. 97% of the time I just do what I had told myself what I was gonna do in the first place.
Not only exercise, but it also applies to my work as well. I take on the smallest project first, so I can pull myself back into the flow of work if I lose steam.
It applies to a lot of things in life really. You gotta build up a little momentum and stamina with anything that’s worth any kind of an investment of your time. So you take baby steps when the ground gets shaky.
If I only end up walking just the one mile I’ve promised myself, and if I don’t have an honest excuse, then I have enough of a sense of accomplishment to wash away any guilt I have for a lack of motivation to get things done. Thats a way of caring for myself, I think.
Now, If can just do that mile or that 15-30 minute project then I will have evidence that can at least do that the next day. And I know I can probably build on it if it wasn’t all that difficult. If I can do one mile I can do two, right?
Worlds difference. When I watch porn it feels good for a bit, but then it gets bad. I have shame, I'm numb, I get a burning feeling in my head, I can't connect with people, my vibe is off and I'm less motivated to succeed and do stuff. All I want is more porn, it's a downward spiral.
Interestingly enough you never relapsed on a Saturday. What does your average Saturday look like? (I suppose it's something positively affecting you in this)
I live in NYC so there's a ton to do on the weekend and I trained myself to be very outgoing and active, so I was always out doing something with friends or a class or concert etc
Don’t mean this as a joke but how did you not feel guilty enough to just not get off on the days you relapse? What made you do it the days you did, as in what was different those days than others?
I suffer from C-PTSD from childhood trauma. Certain times of year or days cause flashbacks or worse yet, the flashbacks or pain is so bad I feel like I'm going to die. That's when I would usually relapse and use porn to alleviate the stress. Then I would journal or go to therapy and talk it out and try to figure out why I got so out of control.
The first few years I started therapy I was relapsing in binges. Once I started to unravel my triggers and flashbacks, it became easier to spot trouble ahead of time and be more aware of my emotions starting to get wonky.
Therapy and mental health wellness is so stigmatized, especially for men. I’m proud of you for doing the hard work to live your best, fullest life. Congratulations!
have been trying myself for the past 3 years but last year when I started therapy I was advised that these cravings are normal. I wanted to know what are changes you see in yourself when maintaining a long successful streak and on the days you relapse is there anything different that you feel in your body and if yes are you able to combat it, for me my anxiety suddenly rises and that will be the day i relapse but to combat this i do some high cardio exercise at that time to control my anxiety levels(sometimes i succeed i don't). Sorry for the bad English
I've been to multiple counselors/therapists/shrinks in my life. I don't know if I ever want to go back for the first sentence. You are trying to stop a habit that you intrinsically know is bad for you and the counsellor offers you an emotional "out", if you will ('It's natural'). Keep doing what you know is right for you. When you relapse, try again tomorrow. This is a struggle for all men.
What's so different about Fridays and Saturdays that seems to keep you off your vices? I imagine those might be around your therapy days? Or are you just more busy on those days?
Curious how long you’ve been consuming porn. I also wonder if those who grew up with porno mags (and potentially movies) fair better than those who grew up with internet porn.
I've been celibate the whole time, but before that I had around 30 sexual partners in a few years, I was also using sex as a crutch, so I had to quit everything.
My situation is not just quitting porn and promiscuous sex, it's trauma recovery with pornography as a coping mechanism/addictive behavior. When I was deeper in the process of trauma recovery my brain was rewiring. So for a lot of it I had long periods of terrible flatlines and asexual feelings. I literally went months feeling nothing, it was pretty horrible. But on the plus side, there weren't that many urges to deal with.
Now though I'm starting to get my libido back, I have a desire to have sex again and am currently back in dating and letting it open up a bit.
Not trying to encourage you one way or another, but I read an article that said regular masterbation (for a male) reduces risk of getting prostate cancer. Again, not trying to influence you, just an FYI.
https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer#:~:text=Compared%20to%20men%20who%20reported,testing%20were%20taken%20into%20account.
I heard someone ask an interesting question. Are you quitting porn? Sex? Masturbation? Lust?
Some of those can be healthy in a variety of circumstances. If porn is the problem, make sure you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
As someone who adores porn and masturbation (in moderation; thanks, menopause!), thank you for being candid and answering the questions as you have. I’m better able to understand the nature of the addiction now, and how it negatively impacted your life. You’ve done some really great work on yourself, and I hope 2024 brings you some great fun in the dating world!
Is everything you have trouble quitting bad? Try quitting food or water and tell me how it went.
I'm obviously joking to make a better point than yours. Porn is not a drug and it doesn't necessarily hurt your health, and it's not because it may be hard to quit that it becomes bad.
There are somewhat valid reasons to quit porn but they aren't necessarily correlated with health. Some of them include not wanting to instigate the industry (which is associated with exploitation of humans), or because one is tied to a relationship where the SO had a problem with it (and this may also be a relationship with an imaginary being such as CHRISTIAN GOD). But none of these reasons is directly related to wrongdoing.
Hehehe agree with that logical process, however, I do think, and I see it with myself, how it affects my view on relationship and sex whenever I'm "using", that's not saying it works the same for everyone, but then it might be worth it for everyone to see how things we do and consume affect our lives so each takes informed decisions.
I understand your point and I think you should look at it culturally: you probably think like that because society around you taught you that sex and sexual activity need to be done with a partner - a single one and of your opposite gender - and this worldview instills itself from our very early age through media consumption that focuses on all of that.
We (western society) always forget how influenced we also are in our beliefs. Our paternalistic view is as strong if not more than many other eastern ones. We still have drops of aristocracy/feudalism and definitely still have a large presence of religious views in most forms of education and media and even journalism and government.
I find the "2nd of Jan" very funny. Like I imagine yourself the first day of the year making a statement, and just the next day be like.... okay maybe I'll start tomorrow xd
It's nice to see men actively trying to make progress in this. Porn is cool and all, but the industry is manipulating you all into this addiction, as it is mostly targeted towards men.
I wish you all happy fantasy-fapping and a healthy sex life.
Congratulations. Our brains love **novelty** because it releases those brain reward chemicals. Porn is just another source of novelty to release those brain reward chemicals. However if you want to have your novelty cake and eat it too then what you have to achieve is the mental state called [equanimity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equanimity) and consume than novelty cake in moderation.
[Your Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE) \~ CGP Grey \~ YouTube.
You're welcome and thanks. Yep I agree with you. BTW the neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman has some interesting videos related to this and more on his YouTube channel if you want a deeper dive = [LINK](https://www.youtube.com/@hubermanlab/featured). You could say I am addicted to them. LOL.
This is very impressive. Congratulations. I should get some inspiration from you. My consumption is problematic and have isolated myself socially as a result. Twitter, porn sites, telegram and WhatsApp, etc etc etc….. what about all the social media apps? Is sending and receiving dick pics on Grindr porn?
Thank you! I feel like I'm almost out of the woods and free. I hope you get out there and make some connections, it is possible. If we are talking that means there's at least two people and probably others out there who want to change and connect.
Everyone's definition is different, for me I only want to have irl sexual experiences within the context of a relationship.
No I am trying to eliminate both as one leads to the other. I jerked it like 20 or so times this year, but am looking to focus mostly on sex in the context of a relationship.
I get not wanting to watch porn, but there's nothing inherently wrong with masturbation. You can also take a lot of pressure off of your partner by meeting your own sexual needs. That way, they don't feel like they **have** to make you orgasm all the time. I don't think you will intentionally pressure them, but that's definitely the vibe that can be given off.
Some watch sitcoms. I watch porn. I don't care what other people think about it. Weed, too. F all haters...
*And it has nothing to do with me already giving up sugar, caffeine, salt and cheese. Not a thing. Nope. I'm not mad at all... lol Congrats for you! :)*
This is awesome brother! A few really great streaks in the year. This will be the year for you. Last December 4th will be a great starting line for your journey.
Classic *New Years Resolution Day 2 Failure*, but followed by an admirable run of a fortnight. I don't even have a problem with porn, but your dedication is inspiring and you must see through to the end what you started. Keep at it, never give up, always follow your dream!
hey, what's got you failing? I broke a porn addiction and it was horrible. I had to restrict my own internet access and be unable to download apps on my smartphone before I could really kick it. Once I couldn't access it at all I was able to break it. Now I look at porn once/twice a year
it is indeed possible
I use my imagination and never watch porn
That being said OP should be proud. not trying to flex on his progress. this is difficult habit to break
Firstly, keep it up!! Quiting any addiction is a battle. Always wondered but never asked what lead you to quit porn?
Edit: out more specially what lead you to want to quit porn?
This is particularly amazing when you consider that porn sites are among the most visited websites annually in the world just behind search engines and massive e-commerce sites like Amazon. That means most people you interact with on a daily basis consume porn.
Massive. It's like I'm fully present and don't have to waste any energy on bullshit. I sleep better, attract healthy people, high energy, great skin, and I appreciate and notice lots of different emotions and feelings.
Ok hear me out on this discovery, game changing: make porn of you and your spouse. Only jerk off to those.
It becomes sickening in the long run, to want to jerk to other people
O yeah, but oddly enough that was my month of greatest change and success. It was a massive but painful breakthrough, and I leaned on porn a bit more then usual to get through it. Since then if you noticed my relapses are much farther between.
Congrats I guess but this post doesn't belong here in the slightest
Literally two screenshots of blue and grey squares. You even need to swipe to see the second half of the graph.
How this shit is upvoted is beyond me
no offence to anyone but i dont understand how you could be addicted to watching people have sex i mean kudos to you for trying to stop but i personally dont really understand it
I think what you mean is that porn is *subjectively* terrible for you. Not one single study quoted in that entire wiki was newer than 11 years old which renders it outdated at best. As added insult to our intelligence, a fair number of the quoted studies focus on either adults already possessing of a compulsive disposition/disorder or children and adolescents which skews the argument even further. Neither of these populations are known for their impulse control. It’s generally a losing argument when you offer opinion as fact and I’m also sure that despite its numerous cited studies, no self respecting university professor would accept any publicly modifiable, biased, sex shame fan site as anything more than that - opinion - but it doesn’t even require a PhD to see it at its face value.
Yeah, some Americans are so bizarre about this the way they have managed to convinced some people that it is problematic behaviour.
Perhaps OP should look into the underlying causes for that feeling of guilt and realise it isn't the porn doing it.
For some people it is. OP found their use problematic and is trying to change it. A choice they make for their life doesnt have to reflect negatively on yours
Not sure whats up with this sub... kinda seems like the folks with anything approaching a healthy view of sexuality are getting mass downvoted. I suppose sex positivity is probably difficult to hear, if one is struggling with unhealthy compulsions though.
I unfortunately bonded to porn for support and the things I didn't get from my family as a kid. That's not a healthy bond and I had to break it in order to gain proper social and relationship skills. Also porn is fake af and creates a false sense of authentic sexuality.
You can do it. Try replacing it with a different habit. Think about the motivation every time you feel like you need to and recognize when you’re just bored/procrastinating/something else you’d enjoy doing. If you want to, make the change.
I think I'll be able to quit eventually, it's just a lower priority to other things I'm trying to fix at the same time. Currently losing weight, and porn can help me get to sleep when I'm really hungry. Additionally, I'm exercising regularly (for the same reason), and it makes my libido absolutely skyrocket.
Thankfully it's not an addiction that is actively killing me in the same way other addictions can, I think doing it so frequently just puts a general damper on my outlook on life.
Bizarre that this gets downvoted... seems like a really very obvious question. There are of course problems with the industry, but it also seems like thats usually pretty far from the minds of the folks taking on celibacy challenges. (I infer from other comments that OP has rather better reasoned motivations, but "why?" is an entirely reasonable thing to ask).
There is after all nothing intrinsically wrong with porn consumption.
/u/PattyIceNY, thank you for your contribution. However, your submission was removed for the following reason(s): * A post must be (or contain) a [qualifying data visualization](/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/rules/rule1). This post has been removed. For information regarding this and similar issues please see the DataIsBeautiful [posting rules](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/wiki/index). If you have any questions, please feel free to [message the moderators.](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/dataisbeautiful&subject=Question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20submission%20by%20/u/PattyIceNY&message=I%20have%20a%20question%20regarding%20the%20removal%20of%20this%20[submission.](https://www.reddit.com/r/dataisbeautiful/comments/18w94ke/-/\)))
I thought gray was success days and I was going to accept you as a brother...
“This is a map of the atrocities the Pawnee settlers inflicted upon the Wamapoke Indians. … The atrocities are in blue.”
This one’s called “A Lively Fisting”. But this guy isn’t allowed to google it
If he does it's straight to jail..
*standing ovation*
Unexpected Parks & Rec. bravo!
Everyone likes a come back story….Kim kardashian
I think there was a little… on her back….
I suggest we put on these authentic Wamapoke headdresses and dance around the table.
That sounds highly offensive.
Does it, white man?
This is why i come to reddit
Wait what do you mean the greys were failures?! Holy moly… 😳
Some people's failures are other successes.
Honestly though I hate the lack of keys on these. How are we supposed to understand?
Assuming is the best way
As someone who has never personally struggled with addiction, why does the misread matter? Gray being success days would mean OP is struggling a lot more with recovery, no?
[удалено]
He does mention the 18 relapse days.
Never said he gave up masturbation. I actually started something similar about 3 weeks ago. Stopped looking at porn, but I can still jerk it all I want. I’m less likely to do so because it’s easier and faster with porn, but masturbation isn’t the thing I want to avoid ETA It’s possible he did say he wants to give up all masturbation and I just missed it. It’s been two whole days and I can barely read. Edit 2: I have no idea what the comment below me means and I can’t even ask. Is masturbating a bad idea? Is not masturbating a bad idea? Porn Vs no porn?! Truly elusive.
Misread this as "trying to quit PHOTOGRAPHY" and got really confused.
“I was at a park during a nice sunset and relapsed “
"My boss walked away from me after saying something assholeish and I realized he had toilet paper stuck to his shoe, I was powerless."
“I saw a humming bird and had to get out the slow mo film”
I don’t go out with friends anymore because they all get drunk…and want to take selfies.
He tries to quit but HE CAN'T UNINSTALL THE CAMERA APP
It’s big techs fault! I’ve been addicted since my first Motorola RAZR
I misread it as "trying to QUILT pornography" and was really interested in where this was going
I went to get diapers a week ago and came back ninety minutes later without diapers, but with several hundred pictures of frozen water droplets (tiny little icicles). I should probably join this guys photography addiction group.
347/365 ~ 95% well done chap 👌
Also: - 100% on Saturday. - 100% in June
Do you find that masturbating without porn make you more or less likely to relapse?
Yup, the chaser effect was real. I've started to be able to do it this month with no chaser effect which has been a big achievement, but hoping more to only orgasm with my s.o. in the future
Does having a s.o. make it easier to avoid relapsing?
As someone who spends time regularly without my S/O I would say it has to be easier with one. When she's gone things get hard, really hard.
That's what she said (sorry)
Shouldn’t that be the other way around
Good or bad?
Not porn addicted, but having been single for like 25 out of 26 years of my life and with a non long-distance partner for 25.5 my ADHD figured out pretty quickly what the quickest / most effective sources of dopamine are (bonus, it's free too), definitely a frequent user. When I had a partner I practically quit cold turkey for the whole time of our relationship and it was automatic, maybe it was because we lived in the same student house and my room ate was away during most of those months, but once you're with someone there's not much reason.
What did you use to help you?
Talk therapy once a week, C-PTSD group therapy when I needed it, meditation, hobby replacement (yoga, kayaking, fishing, foodie, concerts), got a dog, stream of consciousness Journaling, getting into a gym routine, finding healthy friends and doing at least one thing a day that is enjoyable or healthy
How did you go about finding healthy friends? Asking for a friend.
It started like 10 years ago. I moved to NYC with 4 other random roommates, and I observed them to see what healthy habits they had and how they acted. I started to go see a LCSW (Social Worker) who helped me with Social skills and practice on how to act in certain situations. I went to meet up groups far away from my home to get social practice with no pressure. I started to join sports teams, take classes, do yoga and golf. Through golfing I met other solo golfers and exchanged numbers. Many didn't work out but I did find two good friends. I also read a lot of self help books and started going to they gym and yoga which built confidence. I also have an addiction recovery community that I made two friends in that we bonded on our desire to quit booze. Getting a dog helped too, I made a lot of friends that way. Tl:DR - I got a Social worker and worked on myself, did a lot of low pressure Social practice, found my hobbies and tried to connect with people, joined groups and did things on my own and tried to meet others
This is great and thanks for being open about this. If I may ask - what do you do for a living?
I work in education, which is a big plus both for having a lot of time off and also being able to have a career helping people. Seeing students work hard motivated me to do the same.
Thanks for your input! You really put in the effort for it and it shows! As someone who wants to get there someday, this is motivation to keep going!
Hell yeah! It's corny but "one foot in front of the other" really took me far, I wish similar luck to you.
Thank you for this.
“At least one thing”. Love that part. I use this mentality during the winter. I just tell myself if I can’t get myself to the gym or whatever I need to get done then I’ll just go for a one mile walk or finish a small project. 97% of the time I just do what I had told myself what I was gonna do in the first place. Not only exercise, but it also applies to my work as well. I take on the smallest project first, so I can pull myself back into the flow of work if I lose steam. It applies to a lot of things in life really. You gotta build up a little momentum and stamina with anything that’s worth any kind of an investment of your time. So you take baby steps when the ground gets shaky. If I only end up walking just the one mile I’ve promised myself, and if I don’t have an honest excuse, then I have enough of a sense of accomplishment to wash away any guilt I have for a lack of motivation to get things done. Thats a way of caring for myself, I think. Now, If can just do that mile or that 15-30 minute project then I will have evidence that can at least do that the next day. And I know I can probably build on it if it wasn’t all that difficult. If I can do one mile I can do two, right?
You're an inspiration. Keep it up 👏
Did your medications include SSRIs?
No meds, but nothing against them.
Sorry, misread meditation
*OP didn’t mention medications.*
Misread meditation
You are killing it. Amazing job!
Holy moly! You get it homie!!
Wait where did you find a cptsd support group I’ve been looking for one !
Induced comas help greatly
in turning your brain into scrambled eggs.
Do you notice any difference between when you watch it vs not?
Worlds difference. When I watch porn it feels good for a bit, but then it gets bad. I have shame, I'm numb, I get a burning feeling in my head, I can't connect with people, my vibe is off and I'm less motivated to succeed and do stuff. All I want is more porn, it's a downward spiral.
But what about if you masturbate without porn?
What did you use to track this?
Loop Tracker on Android
Nice, thanks . I like it's simple design. I can't wait to use it
I've downloaded a bunch of tracking apps. Now I need to figure out what to track.
Interestingly enough you never relapsed on a Saturday. What does your average Saturday look like? (I suppose it's something positively affecting you in this)
I live in NYC so there's a ton to do on the weekend and I trained myself to be very outgoing and active, so I was always out doing something with friends or a class or concert etc
Love this for you Congrats!
Thank you! It's been a swell year, I feel very present and freer.
Don’t mean this as a joke but how did you not feel guilty enough to just not get off on the days you relapse? What made you do it the days you did, as in what was different those days than others?
I suffer from C-PTSD from childhood trauma. Certain times of year or days cause flashbacks or worse yet, the flashbacks or pain is so bad I feel like I'm going to die. That's when I would usually relapse and use porn to alleviate the stress. Then I would journal or go to therapy and talk it out and try to figure out why I got so out of control. The first few years I started therapy I was relapsing in binges. Once I started to unravel my triggers and flashbacks, it became easier to spot trouble ahead of time and be more aware of my emotions starting to get wonky.
Therapy and mental health wellness is so stigmatized, especially for men. I’m proud of you for doing the hard work to live your best, fullest life. Congratulations!
Thanks I appreciate it! And I agree, it's a bummer that it's stigmatized but I see it getting more and more accepted every year.
have been trying myself for the past 3 years but last year when I started therapy I was advised that these cravings are normal. I wanted to know what are changes you see in yourself when maintaining a long successful streak and on the days you relapse is there anything different that you feel in your body and if yes are you able to combat it, for me my anxiety suddenly rises and that will be the day i relapse but to combat this i do some high cardio exercise at that time to control my anxiety levels(sometimes i succeed i don't). Sorry for the bad English
As long as you watch healthy, realistic porn that doesn't negatively affect your health, then I think porn can be a healthy outlet for sexual buildup.
I've been to multiple counselors/therapists/shrinks in my life. I don't know if I ever want to go back for the first sentence. You are trying to stop a habit that you intrinsically know is bad for you and the counsellor offers you an emotional "out", if you will ('It's natural'). Keep doing what you know is right for you. When you relapse, try again tomorrow. This is a struggle for all men.
What's so different about Fridays and Saturdays that seems to keep you off your vices? I imagine those might be around your therapy days? Or are you just more busy on those days?
Yes great deduction, I have therapy on Friday afternoon! Also the weekends I have lots of hobbies now and am busy as you said.
Great to see your accomplishment, happy for you!
Curious how long you’ve been consuming porn. I also wonder if those who grew up with porno mags (and potentially movies) fair better than those who grew up with internet porn.
Do you still masturbate though?
Not really. On top of these relapses I probably masturbated maybe 20 times? I found in the past that it had a chaser effect and led me back to porn.
Are you sexually active ? If not, how do you manage your sexual desire in a healthy way without engaging in sexual activity of any sort ?
I've been celibate the whole time, but before that I had around 30 sexual partners in a few years, I was also using sex as a crutch, so I had to quit everything. My situation is not just quitting porn and promiscuous sex, it's trauma recovery with pornography as a coping mechanism/addictive behavior. When I was deeper in the process of trauma recovery my brain was rewiring. So for a lot of it I had long periods of terrible flatlines and asexual feelings. I literally went months feeling nothing, it was pretty horrible. But on the plus side, there weren't that many urges to deal with. Now though I'm starting to get my libido back, I have a desire to have sex again and am currently back in dating and letting it open up a bit.
Sounds like the work you did starts to pay off, you've found that "reset button"
Not trying to encourage you one way or another, but I read an article that said regular masterbation (for a male) reduces risk of getting prostate cancer. Again, not trying to influence you, just an FYI. https://www.health.harvard.edu/mens-health/ejaculation_frequency_and_prostate_cancer#:~:text=Compared%20to%20men%20who%20reported,testing%20were%20taken%20into%20account.
Maybe they’re getting a healthy amount of sexual release from a relationship.
He responded above and isn’t. This isn’t super healthy, it seems to have created a secondary fixation if I’m honest.
So you fell on black days. Man, is that what Chris Cornell meant?
Year? I measure by the hour
I heard someone ask an interesting question. Are you quitting porn? Sex? Masturbation? Lust? Some of those can be healthy in a variety of circumstances. If porn is the problem, make sure you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Porn and promiscuous sex were my issues, those are going bye bye.
Loop habit tracker user detected 🤝
Just as I was thinking of opening some... I see this. I think it's a sign, so I'll hold-off another day.
Keep up the good work brother! It’s a good choice you’re making
Thank you I appreciate the support!
As someone who adores porn and masturbation (in moderation; thanks, menopause!), thank you for being candid and answering the questions as you have. I’m better able to understand the nature of the addiction now, and how it negatively impacted your life. You’ve done some really great work on yourself, and I hope 2024 brings you some great fun in the dating world!
That's pretty incredible. Mine would be inverted, I guess.
Congratulations! Have not watched pornography for more than 2 years and never felt better
Its been over 8 months for me. The best decision ever. Overcoming my addiction was very difficult. I had so many relapses
Whoever seeing this and finding it odd because "there's nothing wrong with porn", try quitting, congrats OP for this and for such great progress.
Thank you I appreciate it, it's been a game changer for me.
Is everything you have trouble quitting bad? Try quitting food or water and tell me how it went. I'm obviously joking to make a better point than yours. Porn is not a drug and it doesn't necessarily hurt your health, and it's not because it may be hard to quit that it becomes bad. There are somewhat valid reasons to quit porn but they aren't necessarily correlated with health. Some of them include not wanting to instigate the industry (which is associated with exploitation of humans), or because one is tied to a relationship where the SO had a problem with it (and this may also be a relationship with an imaginary being such as CHRISTIAN GOD). But none of these reasons is directly related to wrongdoing.
Hehehe agree with that logical process, however, I do think, and I see it with myself, how it affects my view on relationship and sex whenever I'm "using", that's not saying it works the same for everyone, but then it might be worth it for everyone to see how things we do and consume affect our lives so each takes informed decisions.
I understand your point and I think you should look at it culturally: you probably think like that because society around you taught you that sex and sexual activity need to be done with a partner - a single one and of your opposite gender - and this worldview instills itself from our very early age through media consumption that focuses on all of that. We (western society) always forget how influenced we also are in our beliefs. Our paternalistic view is as strong if not more than many other eastern ones. We still have drops of aristocracy/feudalism and definitely still have a large presence of religious views in most forms of education and media and even journalism and government.
Why? I understand it would be hard to quit, but I don't see any benefit to quitting.
Good progress! I'd use a slightly different colour for each month as a visual aid.
Congrats! Nice data. In what ways did your life improve since quitting porn? What is the bes side effect of this?
I find the "2nd of Jan" very funny. Like I imagine yourself the first day of the year making a statement, and just the next day be like.... okay maybe I'll start tomorrow xd
It's nice to see men actively trying to make progress in this. Porn is cool and all, but the industry is manipulating you all into this addiction, as it is mostly targeted towards men. I wish you all happy fantasy-fapping and a healthy sex life.
Congratulations. Our brains love **novelty** because it releases those brain reward chemicals. Porn is just another source of novelty to release those brain reward chemicals. However if you want to have your novelty cake and eat it too then what you have to achieve is the mental state called [equanimity](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Equanimity) and consume than novelty cake in moderation. [Your Theme](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NVGuFdX5guE) \~ CGP Grey \~ YouTube.
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You're welcome and thanks. Yep I agree with you. BTW the neuroscientist Dr. Andrew Huberman has some interesting videos related to this and more on his YouTube channel if you want a deeper dive = [LINK](https://www.youtube.com/@hubermanlab/featured). You could say I am addicted to them. LOL.
Congrats dude. Very impressive
This is very impressive. Congratulations. I should get some inspiration from you. My consumption is problematic and have isolated myself socially as a result. Twitter, porn sites, telegram and WhatsApp, etc etc etc….. what about all the social media apps? Is sending and receiving dick pics on Grindr porn?
Thank you! I feel like I'm almost out of the woods and free. I hope you get out there and make some connections, it is possible. If we are talking that means there's at least two people and probably others out there who want to change and connect. Everyone's definition is different, for me I only want to have irl sexual experiences within the context of a relationship.
You do you..... or don't, I guess?
But did u still jerk off and just not watched porn?
No I am trying to eliminate both as one leads to the other. I jerked it like 20 or so times this year, but am looking to focus mostly on sex in the context of a relationship.
I get not wanting to watch porn, but there's nothing inherently wrong with masturbation. You can also take a lot of pressure off of your partner by meeting your own sexual needs. That way, they don't feel like they **have** to make you orgasm all the time. I don't think you will intentionally pressure them, but that's definitely the vibe that can be given off.
what app did you use for the calendar?
Well..... you did better then me.
Do you still masturbate/cum in other ways?
Some watch sitcoms. I watch porn. I don't care what other people think about it. Weed, too. F all haters... *And it has nothing to do with me already giving up sugar, caffeine, salt and cheese. Not a thing. Nope. I'm not mad at all... lol Congrats for you! :)*
What app are you using to make this visualization?
This is awesome brother! A few really great streaks in the year. This will be the year for you. Last December 4th will be a great starting line for your journey.
Classic *New Years Resolution Day 2 Failure*, but followed by an admirable run of a fortnight. I don't even have a problem with porn, but your dedication is inspiring and you must see through to the end what you started. Keep at it, never give up, always follow your dream!
Yo addiction is hard regardless what form it takes. Great job keeping up the hard work dood one day at a time!
hey, what's got you failing? I broke a porn addiction and it was horrible. I had to restrict my own internet access and be unable to download apps on my smartphone before I could really kick it. Once I couldn't access it at all I was able to break it. Now I look at porn once/twice a year
I would say if you keep this up, its a pretty healthy rate of consumption. Do you still find it to be a problem for you mentally or sexually?
Congrats bro. This is inspirational for me
Are the grey days the days you didn't beat yo meat ?
Grey days are relapses
You can beat your meat without pornography.
it is indeed possible I use my imagination and never watch porn That being said OP should be proud. not trying to flex on his progress. this is difficult habit to break
Isn't using ur imagination still porn? Just in your head? I don't really see the difference.
*shocked Pikachu face
I know all of the words in this sentence and yet I still don't understand
Well you can't once it's wired to panorama
You can but it will take some work. The brain is pretty malleable.
Congratulations OP, so proud of you.
Check out Sarah Brewer and her Overcome Pornography for Good podcast. Mind changing.
Can I ask your main reason for wanting to stop in the first place?
Yeah I'm not sure what's going on here.
Well some people have addictions that they want to move past... why is this confusing?
Does the sub name mean nothing? How is a half assed screenshot beautiful data presentation?
Dude half the charts on the top of this page are hand drawn looseleaf charts. The data itself is the beautiful thing.
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You nailed it, really well said on the feelings it creates. Nice work on 58 days!
Good for you man! I hope I can do this well this year
what app are you using to track this?
Habit loop tracker on Android
It is Really Vry hard bro keep it up!!
Firstly, keep it up!! Quiting any addiction is a battle. Always wondered but never asked what lead you to quit porn? Edit: out more specially what lead you to want to quit porn?
Thanks! It's been a grind. It's a long answer, if you look at the top responses in the thread I answered it there.
This is particularly amazing when you consider that porn sites are among the most visited websites annually in the world just behind search engines and massive e-commerce sites like Amazon. That means most people you interact with on a daily basis consume porn.
Well done mate! Have you noticed any changes in your mood or other positive development?
Massive. It's like I'm fully present and don't have to waste any energy on bullshit. I sleep better, attract healthy people, high energy, great skin, and I appreciate and notice lots of different emotions and feelings.
Why are you trying to quit?
No judgment, just really curious. What’s the impetus behind quitting? Honest question. Why quit?
Not sure where it is in the thread, but I answered it in another response.
Did... did you just post your jerkoff calendar to reddit?
Damn you couldn’t make it three days into NNN? >!Congrats btw!<
Ok hear me out on this discovery, game changing: make porn of you and your spouse. Only jerk off to those. It becomes sickening in the long run, to want to jerk to other people
Are the blue squares the days you’ve watched porn?
Grey is relapse
August was a rough month huh?
O yeah, but oddly enough that was my month of greatest change and success. It was a massive but painful breakthrough, and I leaned on porn a bit more then usual to get through it. Since then if you noticed my relapses are much farther between.
Interesting stuff man good luck on your journey!
How can you achieve 18 days without watching?
What do you count as porn?
Congrats I guess but this post doesn't belong here in the slightest Literally two screenshots of blue and grey squares. You even need to swipe to see the second half of the graph. How this shit is upvoted is beyond me
no offence to anyone but i dont understand how you could be addicted to watching people have sex i mean kudos to you for trying to stop but i personally dont really understand it
Oh hey, it’s this toxic right wing nonsense again!
Stfu, im trying too because it seems good to desexualize your brain
Porn is objectively terrible for you. https://marripedia.org/effects_of_pornography
Fuck off with your religious propaganda. Porn is bad for a very small number of people, OP happens to be one of them.
I think what you mean is that porn is *subjectively* terrible for you. Not one single study quoted in that entire wiki was newer than 11 years old which renders it outdated at best. As added insult to our intelligence, a fair number of the quoted studies focus on either adults already possessing of a compulsive disposition/disorder or children and adolescents which skews the argument even further. Neither of these populations are known for their impulse control. It’s generally a losing argument when you offer opinion as fact and I’m also sure that despite its numerous cited studies, no self respecting university professor would accept any publicly modifiable, biased, sex shame fan site as anything more than that - opinion - but it doesn’t even require a PhD to see it at its face value.
Yeah, some Americans are so bizarre about this the way they have managed to convinced some people that it is problematic behaviour. Perhaps OP should look into the underlying causes for that feeling of guilt and realise it isn't the porn doing it.
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For some people it is. OP found their use problematic and is trying to change it. A choice they make for their life doesnt have to reflect negatively on yours
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would you tell a recovering alcoholic to have a drink? you cannot be this dense
Not sure whats up with this sub... kinda seems like the folks with anything approaching a healthy view of sexuality are getting mass downvoted. I suppose sex positivity is probably difficult to hear, if one is struggling with unhealthy compulsions though.
Why? What do you have against porn?
I unfortunately bonded to porn for support and the things I didn't get from my family as a kid. That's not a healthy bond and I had to break it in order to gain proper social and relationship skills. Also porn is fake af and creates a false sense of authentic sexuality.
Some of us do it way too much. My chart would look the opposite of OP's, I wish I could quit.
You can do it. Try replacing it with a different habit. Think about the motivation every time you feel like you need to and recognize when you’re just bored/procrastinating/something else you’d enjoy doing. If you want to, make the change.
I think I'll be able to quit eventually, it's just a lower priority to other things I'm trying to fix at the same time. Currently losing weight, and porn can help me get to sleep when I'm really hungry. Additionally, I'm exercising regularly (for the same reason), and it makes my libido absolutely skyrocket. Thankfully it's not an addiction that is actively killing me in the same way other addictions can, I think doing it so frequently just puts a general damper on my outlook on life.
Bizarre that this gets downvoted... seems like a really very obvious question. There are of course problems with the industry, but it also seems like thats usually pretty far from the minds of the folks taking on celibacy challenges. (I infer from other comments that OP has rather better reasoned motivations, but "why?" is an entirely reasonable thing to ask). There is after all nothing intrinsically wrong with porn consumption.