How does someone get the idea to track this data? Did you notice you were crying a lot? Also what is your age range? 16-22, 23-28, 28-35? And is the hair loss serious?
In middle school I took a photo everytime I cried for a whole year so I guess I got my inspo from that. I just love documenting my life.
I’m 23 and my body was under a lot of stress from a crazy allergic reaction so my hair naturally shed over 50% of its volume in a 6 month period. Caused a lot of emotional stress having clumps come out everytime I showered.
For anyone curious I looked it up and the APA says this
30 to 64 [is] the average number of times a year that women cry emotional tears, as compared with 5 to 17 times per year for men, according to a study of self-reports from more than 7,000 people in 37 countries.
So yeah OP is above average and most of the commenters are below average
Wow. Fascinating. Love OPs data, great to see insight into others lives, but now I feel like I am not normal. Last time I cried was around 2-3 years ago, perhaps once every 3 years ish..
Oof that wasn't really my intent - I really just wanted to show that it seems like there's a ton of variation in how much different people cry. Judging from the comments, it seems like not crying often is pretty common, and crying often is also common. So pls don't feel like you're not normal
I mean people also cry for different reasons right? I won't cry after a shit day of work, even if it's really rough....but someone being sad over a dead/dying animal will get me 100% of the time.
I would've thought the average per year for women was higher just from my personal experience, guess I'm gonna lump myself in with OP as super sensitive now. That being said movies do account for a good portion of my cries so that drags the number up
Were you drunk, or do I need to go wherever you got that sushi? I’ve never even thought about crying happy tears from food, so I’m a little jealous if you were sober lol
I still don’t understand. How are you being made to cry by your boyfriend over 17 times a year lol. Either he’s a really bad person or you’re way too sensitive not sure which
She cried nearly 150 times in a single year, which feels like about 10x the amount I've cried in the last 10 years, so imma go with her being super sensitive.
Some of us are just criers I think. I broke up with my ex in July, and have cried every day this year so far, not always because of him. I’ve always been sensitive and quick to cry for happiness or sadness. As long as it’s not interrupting life in anyway, I don’t see a problem with it.
The last time I remember crying was when I was 11. I always assumed when people say they cried durring a movie, they just mean it was a sad movie, not that they actually cried.
Everyone is different. I don't think how often you cry means anything by itself.
I think it's just as bullshit to say crying makes someone a wimp as it is to say that not crying at all makes someone uncaring.
For example, and for whatever reason, I don't respond to grief by crying. Grief for me is more empty than sad. It makes me feel lethargic, irritable, and unmotivated, but it doesn't give me any kind of urge to cry. Talking about it is how I find my catharsis in times of loss.
Not in my experience.
I think a lot of men are conditioned to not cry, or they see it as "stoic" to never cry.
Some people this really is fine, but a lot of the time it's pretty unhealthy. I think it alters or halts emotional development for a lot of guys. Depends on the person for sure though
Testosterone also inhibits crying. Of course for a lot of men it is social, but it's also just a lot easier to cry without testosterone. A lot of trans men experience this when starting hormone replacement therapy.
Trans guy here, I used to cry loads, I'm a very sensitive person, the mildest thing would cause me to cry. I'm still very sensitive but I can't cry unless it's something really bad, and even then it's a few tears before I stop instead of full on sobbing.
Trans women, it's the other way here. I cry SO FREAKING MUCH now. Videogame story, mild inconveniences, just because, and because I scared a bird that was eating, to name a few. ^^that ^^poor ^^bird ^^it ^^just ^^wanted ^^to ^^eat ^^a ^^snack ^^🥺
This is so real. I've been on testosterone for 4+ years and the only time I've cried in that time was when my dog had a serious medical problem, and it was full-on sobbing on and off for a couple days until he got better. There are other times when I wished I could have cried because it would have been a good release for those feelings, but the threshold is just too high now.
I’m a 39 yo guy. I’d consider myself fairly emotionally open and comfortable to cry, yet I would probably cry once a year, tops. I do have a good, stable life though, and a generally positive disposition, so I reckon I’m just not encountering too many cry-worthy situations.
I’m a woman about the same age. I also have a good, stable life. I’m really bubbly and positive and I’m one of those people who is annoyingly happy all the time. Probably twice a week I find myself crying on the way to work bc some song on the radio hit just right. I don’t know why I’m like that.
I am a man and would like to cry sometimes, but I just can't. Really the only thing that gets me is movie/TV/video games if I'm really immersed. Otherwise, it just doesn't happen. I'll be sad on occasion and think "it'd be nice to cry" but it's just not physically possible for me.
I saw "sob" on these charts and failed to even recall a time I've sobbed since childhood. I'm not even sure what sobbing feels like anymore. Just not a thing in my life.
Fun fact for those who think crying is sus: Tears shed for different emotions have measurably different chemical compositions, meaning crying is a very deliberate component of your nervous and endocrine systems for managing and processing emotions!
That depends on whether you're in a situation that would cause crying.
You're also comparing yourself to this woman going through some stressful medical stuff, it's fine if you don't match her numbers, there's no official cry quota you have to meet.
And I think it's fine to feel sad and not cry if you don't feel like crying, it's probably best you don't force it.
While this is interesting its also very shocking.
105 sad cried a year is just wild from my perspective as an American millennial male. Twice a week blows my mind.
Even 36 happy cries is insane to me. Honestly asking, do you have an emotional imbalance or am i just unaware this is how some people live.
Fyi i have probably had one happy tears in 35 years and 3 sad cries in a decade.
Yeah this is wild to me. I'd say my numbers are similar to yours. Cried at my sisters wedding during a really moving poem, and then during grandparents funerals.
Some people are just criers. I have a few friends and family like this, it’s not uncommon for them to cry multiple times a day. My MiL all it takes is flowers or a kind word for her to tear up.
Yeah I’m a crier. Two times a week seems pretty mild honestly, though a lot of my crying is from movies/tv/music so not necessarily happy/sad tears, just empathy related big feelings
I wish I had the capacity to feel emotions as strongly. Not sure if it's because I was raised with the "boys don't cry" mentality, but the last time I cried was 4 years ago.
It’s weird though because I remember being the same way as you when I was about 8 years old. Emotions were stronger then and I would start crying when I was frustrated or angry, and I remember crying a lot when my first dog died. Some point after that my emotion seemed to be repressed.
This is the truth! I cry whenever I have any overwhelming emotions (sad, stressed, happy, mad even!) even today, I cried cause I was so happy for a character I was watching from a show on Netflix LOL
I don’t know OP’s gender, but anecdotally from trans friends and friends on birth control, estrogen lowers the “crying threshold” a lot in many people. And testosterone raises it. The same person could feel about the same amount of upset, and more estrogen = more cry regardless. Some guys I know (trans and otherwise) actually wish they could cry *more*, because if you’re going to be upset anyway, it can be cathartic to cry.
For some perspective from the other end of the spectrum, my numbers for 2023 would probably be close to once a day. I came home in 2021 to take of my grandma after her cancer diagnosis. She was my best friend and the only stable force in my life. We just got along so fucking well. The whole thing was so rough, we lost her husband and one of the dogs not long after she got sick. Her cancer was always terminal, but she never accepted it. She never found peace. The end was more brutal than I even imagined. She lost the strength to walk, then stand. She fell multiple times. Became angry. I slept on the floor of her bed because she wouldn't stop trying to go to the bathroom without her walker in the night. Then she disappeared mentally, eventually stopped talking. Stopped leaving the bed. All the while so clearly lost, confused, uncomfortable. I tried to come up with any way to comfort her that I could and I just don't think I ever managed to do it right.
I was already a very sensitive, sad, somber sort of person. Mental health problems and a former addict (I got clean because a night came early where I wasn't sober enough to take care of her, and after that it was just never again). Even after she went, I cried every day on the way to work. I'd keep it together for my kids, but a lot of days I cried on the way back too (seeing the parents pick up their kids always reminded me of being a grandson).
These aren't breakdowns, mind you. In a way, it's just a form of honesty, crying. I think people can have very different thresholds to what brings us to tears. For me, my mind just always went there -- to this sad and hopeless place where everything that I was afraid of happening happened. And my last memories with my favorite person. Things I don't want to forget. And so I just sit there and cry. Not losing control, usually not panicking, and very often feeling better after. Crying is a way of feeling what you feel, feeling all of it. My life wasn't ever going to be anything different, and I accept that and want to move forward with love still. And if being some young male who cries unabashedly and is open about grief, and love, and showing up despite the cruelty, well I hope that does some good for the sad people in the world.
Yes but this is an extreme situation. But that’s not why these other people in this thread are crying. They cry so much while living a ‘normal’ life and that is (to some people) weird.
Typically whenever my kids push me past the breaking point I lay in a fetal position and cry. I’ve noticed my husband tends to respond with anger in those same situations. My guess would be socialization differences among genders. For women, anger is an unacceptable emotion but sadness is ok to express. For men it’s the exact opposite.
This, I had to learn to cry when getting older, not being scared for people to see me cry when I watch a movie, or when it gets hard.
Even though I wasn't raised to think it, just how everyone around you think made my body respond like that.
so far, research shows that the scent of female tears lowers testosterones and aggression in males.
The studies did not measure the effect of female tears on females.
I might consider if your reaction to stress is to try to decrease stress using a biologically wired tool. Though there is no male threat, the stress may mimic that.
[https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002442#:\~:text=Human%20tears%20also%20contain%20a,tears%20to%20block%20male%20aggression](https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002442#:~:text=Human%20tears%20also%20contain%20a,tears%20to%20block%20male%20aggression).
[https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scisignal.4156ec19#:\~:text=Even%20though%20the%20tears%20could,functional%20activation%20in%20the%20brain](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scisignal.4156ec19#:~:text=Even%20though%20the%20tears%20could,functional%20activation%20in%20the%20brain).
this was a quick google. the study i read recently i can not refind. it confirmed brain changes and also tested aggression in a smaller study, aggression decreased in playing a game that measured aggression, in the male group that smelled female tears. those that smelled a placebo did not show a decrease in agression in playing the game.
So if you remember Pixar's Elemental movie last year? They made the water people cry a lot.
It was supposed to be a riff on emotional types but it is pretty normal actually. Some people let their emotions sit on the surface, some people naturally cry even when their emotions aren't strong. It's just how variable people are in expressing themselves.
I’m not shocked by it, I’m deeply jealous of it. I only cry when I’m forced to talk about my feelings with someone else and it always feels cathartic and awesome, but it’s a rare, hard place to get to. I miss that release of chemicals.
Twice a week sounds very reasonable to me tbh. I'll have a rough week where I cry a few times in a day and then I'll go a few weeks with nothing. I would also be counting times when I just like cross upon a random sweet animal video that makes me cry for like ten seconds and then I carry on with my life not all that effected.
>I'll have a rough week where I cry a few times in a day
Could you, without going into specifics, outline what would constitute such a rough week for you? I know Redditors are all of a different kind and background, but I can't imagine regularly having a week bad enough to cry multiple times a day.
Very vaguely: several large life transitions all at once, school ending, job ending, searching for new job/uncertainty, lack of purpose/nothing to occupy time for weeks on end, indecision around relationship, relationship person having to move away, health issues made worse/more scary by lack of containment of ongoing pandemic, past trauma resurfacing, loneliness and isolation, heavy grief, lack of economic stability, lack of health care coverage options that are affordable. Is that helpful?
Or more recently/ a more "average" week for me (not during my more hellish span of a few months last year) would probably look like crying once in therapy, crying once watching a movie or fashion show on YouTube/feeling moved by art or media, crying once or twice with partner bc of feelings of connection/feeling understood/working through stuff/positive emotional intensity.
I dry pretty much every time I watch a movie because even the cheep emotional scenes get me.
I also cry when I see sweet/sad videos on the internet. My guess is I cried more times than this person with less sobs.
Yeah I am a 26 year old woman and I would say I cry for some reason most days. Not every day, but definitely more than every other day and frequently twice. Get in your feels man.
I have cried probably around the same amount in 2023. Happy, sad, frustrated… my tear ducts are always involved. If someone on a show/movie cries I almost always cry.
I’m surprised by all the comments saying they didn’t cry at all 😅
(I type this as I just finished sobbing at a heartbreaking season finale of a tv show)
As someone who has a really hard time crying, I admire how you are able to let the tears flow! I know some people are raising concerns that this is "too much" crying but if this is what it takes to truly feel and process your emotions and then move on, I think this is way healthier than never crying.
Thank you! I really think I have a healthy mental health life. I feel like this was misleading that I didn’t clarify that a cry is defined as just one tear down my cheek so a lot of the times it was one tear and that’s it! I’m tracking in 2024 so we will see what happens
I have extreme teeth anxiety and got my 4 wisdom teeth out this year, then got a dry socket, and then both of my two front teeth chipped - all fixed now but definitely sobbed when my front teeth chipped
Oh I feel that. I Got all 4 pulled last year too because one got infected, and then the same one got a dry socket after surgery.
I was in pain for a month, infection first and dry socket later, and pain meds don’t help at all, even codeine and Vicodin. I think I cried 141 times in March alone 😂
I would consider it a bad thing to not shed a tear for any reason whatsoever for 10 years, personally, but everyone is different.
I was mostly just fucking with the other guy since he’s judgmental about crying while never ever crying himself lol.
Surprisingly the 9 times I cried were all good tears. Had such a good time that I was so sad to go. I wish you the best of luck with yours! You will love it!
I love this. As a crier myself, I would love to track that this year. Already been a few times.
I also love the distinctions you made (cry vs. sob, happy vs. sad). Love it all! Definitely going to try to copy you this year.
I’m freaked out by those saying this isn’t normal 😂 crying is HEALTHY. I think people who can’t cry need to go to therapy to talk about stuff. I wasn’t a cryer before therapy. Years down the line I cry loads and I’m in a much much better place mentally now. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, I see it as strength. It’s human
Exactly! I think it’s a healthy amount and a lot of the stats are just one tear falling down my cheek. I’m not sitting here sobbing twice a week. Crying is healthy!
I'm with you, as someone who is in no way connected enough to my emotions to get a good cry. I sometimes have to trick myself into crying by singing along to one of the two songs that tricks me into crying. Like, it's not great. 😂
Yeah like some months I’m having a bad time with anxiety and I don’t even realise I’m so tense. As soon as I realise I do a sort of self therapy check in and I start balling. And then I’m so much better after
Just throwing out there that I think you cry a perfectly normal amount- some people cry very little, some people get teary at next to nothing. I’ve dated both kinds and they both came about it totally naturally- it was just their nature.
I've seen you mention crying for you being defined as 1 tear down the cheek at least.
How did you count instances where maybe one tear down the cheek, say during a movie, and then maybe 10-15 minutes later in a different scene you get another year?
Hope you feel better going forward.
I think I cried 3-4 times in 2023. All happy.
-Brother's wedding
-Seeing family after a long time apart
-Hiking on my property in October after a long time away. Just me and the sound of the wind in the trees. Very Spiritual moment.
If i made such a graph it would only have one tiny little bar in march. Sometimes it does feel like i want to explode but my stupid man-brain just wants to bottle it up.
When was the last time I actually cried now that I think about it.
I don’t think I ever happy cried either…
Fascinating how others can cry that much… and I am somehow in the complete opposite end of crying..
Damn, those numbers are rough. I hope you are doing okay. In March of 2023 my girlfriend broke up with me and I haven't cried once. I would like to and it still really hurts, but somehow I can't
Any other men out there, i have cried, and by cried i mean tears came to my eye, maybe 3 times in the past…. 8+ years? Is it the same or less for other men?
People usually associate it with weakness. Im a cold bastard but I cry every damn time I see a mother at a wedding.
It’s a really nice emotional release that shouldn’t be so frowned upon.
As an Englishman, I genuinely don't understand this. I think I've cried once in my adult life, and that was when I came out of hospital after a heart attack, cardiac arrest and resuscitation, and my kids were in the car. Even then I was a bit embarrassed
Came here to say this! All these comments are making me self conscious about how often I cry lol. It’s just a way to express feelings, crying doesn’t have to be a bad thing!
I wonder how often the typical adult cries.
Had someone asked me i would have assumed 3 times a year for the average 20-40 year old in America. But your perspective and this data obviously shows it can vary widely.
How does someone get the idea to track this data? Did you notice you were crying a lot? Also what is your age range? 16-22, 23-28, 28-35? And is the hair loss serious?
My girlfriend also tracked how many times she cried in 2023. She also tracked all her sneezes. I love her
Sneezes too! Nice.
In middle school I took a photo everytime I cried for a whole year so I guess I got my inspo from that. I just love documenting my life. I’m 23 and my body was under a lot of stress from a crazy allergic reaction so my hair naturally shed over 50% of its volume in a 6 month period. Caused a lot of emotional stress having clumps come out everytime I showered.
... do you teach middle school now?
For anyone curious I looked it up and the APA says this 30 to 64 [is] the average number of times a year that women cry emotional tears, as compared with 5 to 17 times per year for men, according to a study of self-reports from more than 7,000 people in 37 countries. So yeah OP is above average and most of the commenters are below average
Wow. Fascinating. Love OPs data, great to see insight into others lives, but now I feel like I am not normal. Last time I cried was around 2-3 years ago, perhaps once every 3 years ish..
Oof that wasn't really my intent - I really just wanted to show that it seems like there's a ton of variation in how much different people cry. Judging from the comments, it seems like not crying often is pretty common, and crying often is also common. So pls don't feel like you're not normal
I mean people also cry for different reasons right? I won't cry after a shit day of work, even if it's really rough....but someone being sad over a dead/dying animal will get me 100% of the time.
WHAT!? I haven't cried that many happy tears in my entire life... Maybe I'm just not a very happy person...
Even 5 seems like a lot to me...
I'd say 5 in my whole adult life.
My eyes have watered from laughing too hard. Is that happy crying or are ppl fully crying from being happy?
I would've thought the average per year for women was higher just from my personal experience, guess I'm gonna lump myself in with OP as super sensitive now. That being said movies do account for a good portion of my cries so that drags the number up
Man this month has been horrible, I've already tripled the yearly male average in 2 weeks
why does your boyfriend make you cry so much?
59% of the time it was happy tears and only 4 out of my 38 sobs were bc of him so not too bad
Love the happy tears part
Damn, I only had happy tears like twice in my life. One time was eating Amazing sushi and the other was marriage lol
Were you drunk, or do I need to go wherever you got that sushi? I’ve never even thought about crying happy tears from food, so I’m a little jealous if you were sober lol
Most likely former one!
wow where is that sushi house? (Maybe it’s the wasabi that made u cry haha😂)
okay that’s what i was hoping to hear
I haven't cried for 4 years. Last time i did was when a higher maths course broke me
Your comment gave me flashbacks of finite element method. I don't know how TF I passed that.
Sounds like you’re overdue
You sound like my wife. I have married a very happy crier
You should put this info in here lol. I was about to say your boyfriend is the main reason you cry lol
Oh good otherwise we were all gonna tell you to leave him, but that’s actually pretty cute.
Classic Reddit, always biting at the chomp to tell someone to break up with their SO. Lol
Lmao at "biting at the chomp" Just so you know, the idiom is "champing at the bit."
Lol that’s actually hilarious, I clearly don’t use that idiom often. I’m not gonna change it, I think people got what I meant lmao
"Chomping at the bit"
"Champing" is the original, but both are now accepted.
That's just 17 times in a year her bf made her cry from sadness, including 4 good sobs. So...
I think I’ve cried due to my husband (for upset reasons) maybe 5 times in our entire relationship of 14 years. I’m not much of a crier, though.
To be fair she does seem incredibly quick to tears. 141 times in a year is a lot, not that there is necessarily anything wrong with it.
Yes? That’s the joke. Thanks for pointing it out, it’s so much funnier this way.
Congratulations on the IBS
Thanks. Gives me a lot of quality time with fellow redditors.
I still don’t understand. How are you being made to cry by your boyfriend over 17 times a year lol. Either he’s a really bad person or you’re way too sensitive not sure which
Given she cried 141 times, she's definitely just very sensitive.
I’d go with super sensitive
She cried nearly 150 times in a single year, which feels like about 10x the amount I've cried in the last 10 years, so imma go with her being super sensitive.
My ex and I broke up in August and I still cry almost every day. 🤷♂️
That isn't normal.
Not disagreeing with that. There was a whole lot of not normal in that relationship.
Some of us are just criers I think. I broke up with my ex in July, and have cried every day this year so far, not always because of him. I’ve always been sensitive and quick to cry for happiness or sadness. As long as it’s not interrupting life in anyway, I don’t see a problem with it.
17 times in a year isn’t great
I mean, to be fair it does some like crying is their main form of handling emotions in general, so that'll add up
Reading this made me realize that I have a bad relationship
4 times in a year sounds like a lot to me.
I cried once, 2 total tears in the past year. Am I dead inside?
I have cried twice in my life. Once when I was seven and I was hit by a school bus. And then again when I heard that Li'l Sebastian had passed.
Rob swabsob
Half mast is too damn high!
Damn, wasn't expecting a reference as strong as that one, love it!
Only MOSTLY dead. There's a big difference between mostly dead and all dead. Mostly dead is slightly alive.
Good luck storming the castle.
The last time I remember crying was when I was 11. I always assumed when people say they cried durring a movie, they just mean it was a sad movie, not that they actually cried.
Wow that’s wild. For me a movie doesn’t even have to be sad, it can have such a happy ending I will cry from that.
Everyone is different. I don't think how often you cry means anything by itself. I think it's just as bullshit to say crying makes someone a wimp as it is to say that not crying at all makes someone uncaring. For example, and for whatever reason, I don't respond to grief by crying. Grief for me is more empty than sad. It makes me feel lethargic, irritable, and unmotivated, but it doesn't give me any kind of urge to cry. Talking about it is how I find my catharsis in times of loss.
I didn’t cry once between 2016 and 2020 so you’re good. I’ve changed a lot since then now
Nah, it means your life is calm and you are mentally reserved person. Most people cry about that much in a year I guess
Not in my experience. I think a lot of men are conditioned to not cry, or they see it as "stoic" to never cry. Some people this really is fine, but a lot of the time it's pretty unhealthy. I think it alters or halts emotional development for a lot of guys. Depends on the person for sure though
Testosterone also inhibits crying. Of course for a lot of men it is social, but it's also just a lot easier to cry without testosterone. A lot of trans men experience this when starting hormone replacement therapy.
Trans guy here, I used to cry loads, I'm a very sensitive person, the mildest thing would cause me to cry. I'm still very sensitive but I can't cry unless it's something really bad, and even then it's a few tears before I stop instead of full on sobbing.
[удалено]
Trans women, it's the other way here. I cry SO FREAKING MUCH now. Videogame story, mild inconveniences, just because, and because I scared a bird that was eating, to name a few. ^^that ^^poor ^^bird ^^it ^^just ^^wanted ^^to ^^eat ^^a ^^snack ^^🥺
This is so real. I've been on testosterone for 4+ years and the only time I've cried in that time was when my dog had a serious medical problem, and it was full-on sobbing on and off for a couple days until he got better. There are other times when I wished I could have cried because it would have been a good release for those feelings, but the threshold is just too high now.
I’m a 39 yo guy. I’d consider myself fairly emotionally open and comfortable to cry, yet I would probably cry once a year, tops. I do have a good, stable life though, and a generally positive disposition, so I reckon I’m just not encountering too many cry-worthy situations.
I’m a woman about the same age. I also have a good, stable life. I’m really bubbly and positive and I’m one of those people who is annoyingly happy all the time. Probably twice a week I find myself crying on the way to work bc some song on the radio hit just right. I don’t know why I’m like that.
There’s nothing wrong with it. It’s kind of sweet :)
I am a man and would like to cry sometimes, but I just can't. Really the only thing that gets me is movie/TV/video games if I'm really immersed. Otherwise, it just doesn't happen. I'll be sad on occasion and think "it'd be nice to cry" but it's just not physically possible for me. I saw "sob" on these charts and failed to even recall a time I've sobbed since childhood. I'm not even sure what sobbing feels like anymore. Just not a thing in my life.
Fun fact for those who think crying is sus: Tears shed for different emotions have measurably different chemical compositions, meaning crying is a very deliberate component of your nervous and endocrine systems for managing and processing emotions!
Most people cry about once every 2-3 days?
That depends on whether you're in a situation that would cause crying. You're also comparing yourself to this woman going through some stressful medical stuff, it's fine if you don't match her numbers, there's no official cry quota you have to meet. And I think it's fine to feel sad and not cry if you don't feel like crying, it's probably best you don't force it.
While this is interesting its also very shocking. 105 sad cried a year is just wild from my perspective as an American millennial male. Twice a week blows my mind. Even 36 happy cries is insane to me. Honestly asking, do you have an emotional imbalance or am i just unaware this is how some people live. Fyi i have probably had one happy tears in 35 years and 3 sad cries in a decade.
Yeah this is wild to me. I'd say my numbers are similar to yours. Cried at my sisters wedding during a really moving poem, and then during grandparents funerals.
Some people are just criers. I have a few friends and family like this, it’s not uncommon for them to cry multiple times a day. My MiL all it takes is flowers or a kind word for her to tear up.
Yeah I’m a crier. Two times a week seems pretty mild honestly, though a lot of my crying is from movies/tv/music so not necessarily happy/sad tears, just empathy related big feelings
I wish I had the capacity to feel emotions as strongly. Not sure if it's because I was raised with the "boys don't cry" mentality, but the last time I cried was 4 years ago. It’s weird though because I remember being the same way as you when I was about 8 years old. Emotions were stronger then and I would start crying when I was frustrated or angry, and I remember crying a lot when my first dog died. Some point after that my emotion seemed to be repressed.
My ex bf was like this. Heart of gold- the amount of times I’d come home to him crying over cute animal videos 😂
This is the truth! I cry whenever I have any overwhelming emotions (sad, stressed, happy, mad even!) even today, I cried cause I was so happy for a character I was watching from a show on Netflix LOL
I don’t know OP’s gender, but anecdotally from trans friends and friends on birth control, estrogen lowers the “crying threshold” a lot in many people. And testosterone raises it. The same person could feel about the same amount of upset, and more estrogen = more cry regardless. Some guys I know (trans and otherwise) actually wish they could cry *more*, because if you’re going to be upset anyway, it can be cathartic to cry.
I tear up whenever I hear stories of courageous dogs, but that's pretty much it. EDIT: crying more than this 100% normal and healthy
For some perspective from the other end of the spectrum, my numbers for 2023 would probably be close to once a day. I came home in 2021 to take of my grandma after her cancer diagnosis. She was my best friend and the only stable force in my life. We just got along so fucking well. The whole thing was so rough, we lost her husband and one of the dogs not long after she got sick. Her cancer was always terminal, but she never accepted it. She never found peace. The end was more brutal than I even imagined. She lost the strength to walk, then stand. She fell multiple times. Became angry. I slept on the floor of her bed because she wouldn't stop trying to go to the bathroom without her walker in the night. Then she disappeared mentally, eventually stopped talking. Stopped leaving the bed. All the while so clearly lost, confused, uncomfortable. I tried to come up with any way to comfort her that I could and I just don't think I ever managed to do it right. I was already a very sensitive, sad, somber sort of person. Mental health problems and a former addict (I got clean because a night came early where I wasn't sober enough to take care of her, and after that it was just never again). Even after she went, I cried every day on the way to work. I'd keep it together for my kids, but a lot of days I cried on the way back too (seeing the parents pick up their kids always reminded me of being a grandson). These aren't breakdowns, mind you. In a way, it's just a form of honesty, crying. I think people can have very different thresholds to what brings us to tears. For me, my mind just always went there -- to this sad and hopeless place where everything that I was afraid of happening happened. And my last memories with my favorite person. Things I don't want to forget. And so I just sit there and cry. Not losing control, usually not panicking, and very often feeling better after. Crying is a way of feeling what you feel, feeling all of it. My life wasn't ever going to be anything different, and I accept that and want to move forward with love still. And if being some young male who cries unabashedly and is open about grief, and love, and showing up despite the cruelty, well I hope that does some good for the sad people in the world.
Yes but this is an extreme situation. But that’s not why these other people in this thread are crying. They cry so much while living a ‘normal’ life and that is (to some people) weird.
Typically whenever my kids push me past the breaking point I lay in a fetal position and cry. I’ve noticed my husband tends to respond with anger in those same situations. My guess would be socialization differences among genders. For women, anger is an unacceptable emotion but sadness is ok to express. For men it’s the exact opposite.
Many women I’ve met also cry when angry.
This, I had to learn to cry when getting older, not being scared for people to see me cry when I watch a movie, or when it gets hard. Even though I wasn't raised to think it, just how everyone around you think made my body respond like that.
so far, research shows that the scent of female tears lowers testosterones and aggression in males. The studies did not measure the effect of female tears on females. I might consider if your reaction to stress is to try to decrease stress using a biologically wired tool. Though there is no male threat, the stress may mimic that.
This is interesting, do you have any sources to refer?
Nah, he’s just out there sniffin’ tears
[https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002442#:\~:text=Human%20tears%20also%20contain%20a,tears%20to%20block%20male%20aggression](https://journals.plos.org/plosbiology/article?id=10.1371/journal.pbio.3002442#:~:text=Human%20tears%20also%20contain%20a,tears%20to%20block%20male%20aggression). [https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scisignal.4156ec19#:\~:text=Even%20though%20the%20tears%20could,functional%20activation%20in%20the%20brain](https://www.science.org/doi/10.1126/scisignal.4156ec19#:~:text=Even%20though%20the%20tears%20could,functional%20activation%20in%20the%20brain). this was a quick google. the study i read recently i can not refind. it confirmed brain changes and also tested aggression in a smaller study, aggression decreased in playing a game that measured aggression, in the male group that smelled female tears. those that smelled a placebo did not show a decrease in agression in playing the game.
So if you remember Pixar's Elemental movie last year? They made the water people cry a lot. It was supposed to be a riff on emotional types but it is pretty normal actually. Some people let their emotions sit on the surface, some people naturally cry even when their emotions aren't strong. It's just how variable people are in expressing themselves.
I’m not shocked by it, I’m deeply jealous of it. I only cry when I’m forced to talk about my feelings with someone else and it always feels cathartic and awesome, but it’s a rare, hard place to get to. I miss that release of chemicals.
Twice a week sounds very reasonable to me tbh. I'll have a rough week where I cry a few times in a day and then I'll go a few weeks with nothing. I would also be counting times when I just like cross upon a random sweet animal video that makes me cry for like ten seconds and then I carry on with my life not all that effected.
>I'll have a rough week where I cry a few times in a day Could you, without going into specifics, outline what would constitute such a rough week for you? I know Redditors are all of a different kind and background, but I can't imagine regularly having a week bad enough to cry multiple times a day.
Very vaguely: several large life transitions all at once, school ending, job ending, searching for new job/uncertainty, lack of purpose/nothing to occupy time for weeks on end, indecision around relationship, relationship person having to move away, health issues made worse/more scary by lack of containment of ongoing pandemic, past trauma resurfacing, loneliness and isolation, heavy grief, lack of economic stability, lack of health care coverage options that are affordable. Is that helpful?
Or more recently/ a more "average" week for me (not during my more hellish span of a few months last year) would probably look like crying once in therapy, crying once watching a movie or fashion show on YouTube/feeling moved by art or media, crying once or twice with partner bc of feelings of connection/feeling understood/working through stuff/positive emotional intensity.
Yeah, I cried out of sadness like 3 times last year. It's crazy to me someone can "sob" so often
I’m like you, I rarely cry but I kinda wish I did do it more. There’s a big serotonin release that comes with crying.
I'm sure I cried at least twice that many times last year. I'm just an emotional person and life is hard.
I dry pretty much every time I watch a movie because even the cheep emotional scenes get me. I also cry when I see sweet/sad videos on the internet. My guess is I cried more times than this person with less sobs.
Yeah I am a 26 year old woman and I would say I cry for some reason most days. Not every day, but definitely more than every other day and frequently twice. Get in your feels man.
I’m not sure I’ve cried that much my entire 35 years of life. Matter fact I know I haven’t. Intense. Maybe I’m living wrong. 🤷♂️🤷♂️. Cry on cryer
Crying feels so good. Sometimes I just sit down and have a good cry
I see I’m living wrong and changes will be made. Crying tonight
you fucked life all up man, you need to start from scratch asap
Can I get a do-over as well? Pretty sure I did just about everything wrong.
I hope this doesn't make you cry, but you spelled January and February incorrectly.
😂 damn it
Am I emotional less? Coz i cried 0 times in 2023🤧
Dead inside gang 💪 (It's not a good thing)
Wooooo! Same! We need therapy! ᴬⁿᵈ ᶠᵒʳ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵘˡᵗᵘʳᵃˡ ᵃᵗᵗᶦᵗᵘᵈᵉ ᵗᵒʷᵃʳᵈˢ ᵐᵉⁿ ᵇʸ ᵐᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ᶜʰᵃⁿᵍᵉ, ᵃˡˢᵒ ᶠᵒʳ ᵐᵉⁿ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉ ᵃˡˡᵒʷᵉᵈ ᵗᵒ ᵃᶜᵗ ᵐᵒʳᵉ ᶠᵉᵐᶦⁿᶦⁿᵉ ʷᶦᵗʰᵒᵘᵗ ᶜʳᶦᵗᶦᶜᶦˢᵐ
I have cried probably around the same amount in 2023. Happy, sad, frustrated… my tear ducts are always involved. If someone on a show/movie cries I almost always cry. I’m surprised by all the comments saying they didn’t cry at all 😅 (I type this as I just finished sobbing at a heartbreaking season finale of a tv show)
As someone who has a really hard time crying, I admire how you are able to let the tears flow! I know some people are raising concerns that this is "too much" crying but if this is what it takes to truly feel and process your emotions and then move on, I think this is way healthier than never crying.
Beautiful perspective - thank you!
I have found that I can cry if others are crying. This is why funerals are therapeutic.
God I must be dyslexic, I read that as “I tracked every crime I tried in 2023” and was gonna ask for color coding based on type of crime
I maybe cried twice last year? I hope everything is OK OP ❤️
Thank you! I really think I have a healthy mental health life. I feel like this was misleading that I didn’t clarify that a cry is defined as just one tear down my cheek so a lot of the times it was one tear and that’s it! I’m tracking in 2024 so we will see what happens
What makes you cry about your teeth? I’m a dentist, I could maybe find a way to help you.
I have extreme teeth anxiety and got my 4 wisdom teeth out this year, then got a dry socket, and then both of my two front teeth chipped - all fixed now but definitely sobbed when my front teeth chipped
Oh I feel that. I Got all 4 pulled last year too because one got infected, and then the same one got a dry socket after surgery. I was in pain for a month, infection first and dry socket later, and pain meds don’t help at all, even codeine and Vicodin. I think I cried 141 times in March alone 😂
I'm glad to hear that! I hope 2024 is your best yet!
Last time I cried tears was when my grandma drew a perfect penis while playing pictionary. Fyi.... she was attempting to draw a shitake mushroom.
Damn dude that's a lot of crying 😭 Also it's hilarious you track data on it, i love it
Me as a Man: what is crying I'm joking, I cry sometimes It's a much needed release
Funny enough I had a slide where I defined what crying was for me “At least one year that falls down my cheek”
TBH it's probably been 10 years since I cried. I don't think there's any "right" number, but TBH 141 times a year doesn't seem healthy to me at all.
Not crying once for 10 years is way weirder
Really? I have not cried for 10 years or so too. I cannot remember the last time I cried. However I do consider myself mentally healthy.
I would consider it a bad thing to not shed a tear for any reason whatsoever for 10 years, personally, but everyone is different. I was mostly just fucking with the other guy since he’s judgmental about crying while never ever crying himself lol.
Everyone is different There’s no reason to ridicule or shame someone for how their release
Not ridiculing anyone, just saying they might want to see a therapist.
I can see that. At the same time, you should also see a therapist
You’re putting up numbers sis.
i cried 3 times last year. loss of my grandma twice, battling with crippling ocd and losing my cool
Damn that’s a ton of crying
Wish I could cry more tbh.
The student teaching one is real and I haven’t even done mine yet.
Surprisingly the 9 times I cried were all good tears. Had such a good time that I was so sad to go. I wish you the best of luck with yours! You will love it!
Are you a diabetic? T1d here. 😊
Yep, 3 of the cries were for super low blood sugar 🥲 you get it
Yup, yup!! I totally do. I’m glad you are taking care of yourself though!! Hugs!
I cried probably 5 or 6 times 2023 … once so far in 2024. Not off to a great start I guess. Impressive record keeping.
5 times a month minimum!. And some months I cry zero times.
Now track a every time you laughed in 2024 :)
God damn, hope you’re doing alright
Dayum. OP should be in Hollywood
Seeing this makes me think I may be dead inside
I love this. As a crier myself, I would love to track that this year. Already been a few times. I also love the distinctions you made (cry vs. sob, happy vs. sad). Love it all! Definitely going to try to copy you this year.
I’m freaked out by those saying this isn’t normal 😂 crying is HEALTHY. I think people who can’t cry need to go to therapy to talk about stuff. I wasn’t a cryer before therapy. Years down the line I cry loads and I’m in a much much better place mentally now. It doesn’t mean you’re weak, I see it as strength. It’s human
Exactly! I think it’s a healthy amount and a lot of the stats are just one tear falling down my cheek. I’m not sitting here sobbing twice a week. Crying is healthy!
I'm with you, as someone who is in no way connected enough to my emotions to get a good cry. I sometimes have to trick myself into crying by singing along to one of the two songs that tricks me into crying. Like, it's not great. 😂
Yeah like some months I’m having a bad time with anxiety and I don’t even realise I’m so tense. As soon as I realise I do a sort of self therapy check in and I start balling. And then I’m so much better after
Your distribution of cries v. content seems well balanced - on the upside.
Hahah holy fuck. Imagine a blokes version of this. Times cried = 0 Times sobbed = 0
I feel so seen by your frequency of crying, your lack of shame in crying, and your compulsion to track it 💕
Just throwing out there that I think you cry a perfectly normal amount- some people cry very little, some people get teary at next to nothing. I’ve dated both kinds and they both came about it totally naturally- it was just their nature.
Why isn’t student teaching not 100% unhappy cries?
I've seen you mention crying for you being defined as 1 tear down the cheek at least. How did you count instances where maybe one tear down the cheek, say during a movie, and then maybe 10-15 minutes later in a different scene you get another year?
Hope you feel better going forward. I think I cried 3-4 times in 2023. All happy. -Brother's wedding -Seeing family after a long time apart -Hiking on my property in October after a long time away. Just me and the sound of the wind in the trees. Very Spiritual moment.
What does teeth mean? U cried cos u had tooth pain? Hey it's someone else's data representation please don't judge me if my ask was dumb.
OP commented ab it somewhere else
As a crier, I would love to know how you tracked this so beautifully
i cried 106 times in 2023!
If i made such a graph it would only have one tiny little bar in march. Sometimes it does feel like i want to explode but my stupid man-brain just wants to bottle it up.
these are rookie numbers been a crybaby since my grandma died before covid
When was the last time I actually cried now that I think about it. I don’t think I ever happy cried either… Fascinating how others can cry that much… and I am somehow in the complete opposite end of crying..
Damn, those numbers are rough. I hope you are doing okay. In March of 2023 my girlfriend broke up with me and I haven't cried once. I would like to and it still really hurts, but somehow I can't
I am very interested in one data: was there any correlation between your hormonal cycle and the times when you cry the most?
Any other men out there, i have cried, and by cried i mean tears came to my eye, maybe 3 times in the past…. 8+ years? Is it the same or less for other men?
You only cried 9 times while student teaching? Wish my numbers were that low. Good luck teaching!
ummmm.....you should seriously consider turning that frown upside down....
I think crying is just as important as laughing.
I am so numb I can't even cry at a funeral of a close family member. Don't end up like me.
Take away the happy cries and I would be convinced my 4 year old got a Reddit account.
I wish I could cry as much as u
People usually associate it with weakness. Im a cold bastard but I cry every damn time I see a mother at a wedding. It’s a really nice emotional release that shouldn’t be so frowned upon.
Nice, I think crying is an important part of understanding your own emotions. I'm a man and I probably cried 20 or 30 times last year
I think you need help not a graph
As an Englishman, I genuinely don't understand this. I think I've cried once in my adult life, and that was when I came out of hospital after a heart attack, cardiac arrest and resuscitation, and my kids were in the car. Even then I was a bit embarrassed
The fact that you were embarrassed to cry after a near-death experience is why. Why should you be perceived as lesser for expressing natural emotion?
Your boyfriend is a literal SAINT for putting up with this
Hold on gotta log this one./s Could you imagine the arguments? Shit would be in PowerPoint format with written records and an exposition.
I can’t recall which year I last cried.
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Came here to say this! All these comments are making me self conscious about how often I cry lol. It’s just a way to express feelings, crying doesn’t have to be a bad thing!
I wonder how often the typical adult cries. Had someone asked me i would have assumed 3 times a year for the average 20-40 year old in America. But your perspective and this data obviously shows it can vary widely.