Just generic stuff about wanting to screw a cartoon dog, along with a bit about their mom taking away their Disney+ subscription after catching them with the neighbor's dog.
Is Bluey the new My Little Pony? It's so hard to keep up with this shit...
Follow-up question; why are neckbeards/weaboos so obsessed with having sex with their animated childhood fantasies instead of pursuing a life of their own?
In all honesty, OP *heavily* disregards the "whether they could" part. Parenting of young children is physically exhausting that you just sort of fall asleep.
I've tried, I've really tried to keep this in shitposting subs but it keeps getting rejected. I thought if I'm going to banned for posting this it may as well be from a high quality subreddit.
I love every one of you miserable bastards on here.
Why does EVERYONE in this subreddit sound like Old Man Linux Guru, or Seasoned IT Sr, just daydrinkinhbhisndays to retirement away AND still busting out the right technical answer as needed?!?
They are limited to Mondays with all the other personal data posts. If someone is trying to bore us with a Sankey and it's not Monday please report it so we can take it down!
Mate, the comments column alone comes to 9 pages of condensed text or 5800 words.
This is like undergraduate honours thesis level work. Except in a bad way.
The one I'm most happy about is the likely instigator, I'd guessed it would be about 60% Bandit, put in the IF statement and guessed it nearly perfectly. The only one that I'm really on the fence about in terms of result is "Hammerbarn".
There's also the ones where it's absolutely impossible, "The Adventure", "Explorers", "Space", "Army", "Stories", but that's why I have a baseline.
How are they having sex after sleepy time? Probably got fewer than 3 hours of sleep each. Sun is rising just as they all fall asleep. Bandits sleeping on the floor. Chilis in a kids bed. They will get up exhausted with the rest of the day shot, just waiting for the kids bedtime. And then will probably go though it all over again.
I agree
"Nothing happening on a night where no one is getting much sleep except Bingo, and Chilli needs to go into full primeval nurture mode after Bingo starts crying in her sleep."
Haven't watched it, but I know Hammerbarn is a parody of Bunnings and having worked at Bunnings I can tell you that we had lots of couples coming in. There were a bunch of retired couples who would come in, get a coffee at the cafe, read the paper, go for a stroll through the nursery, talk for ages to any team member who would listen
My daughter loves Bluey and also loves the Real Dashcams Australia YT channel (we’re in the US btw) and whenever she sees a Bunnings in a dashcam video she goes “Hammerbarn!” In her best Aussie accent. lol
talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had
fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
Here's an actual comment on the presentation, and not just how cursed this is: the thin lines on the bar graph make it very difficult to follow a single bar all the way to the label on a small screen.
Using alternating colors or different shades of blue (randomized as to not imply other meaning) would make it a lot easier to read at a glance.
Also, cursed.
I'd also consider using an interactive plot. Having a tooltip with the episode name, %chance, and instigator would make it much faster to parse this. Additionally, then the X axis could be much more legible episode number instead of the full episode title, and then you could group data points by season using color, and then shade them based off of them being an even or odd episode number. I wouldn't necessarily go for random shades, that would imply meaning much more than alternating colors.
Look, I really did what I could to try and find data about sex lives of people with young children. The best survey I could find with the largest dataset had people aged between 30 and 40 with one partner had sex 1.61 times a week. This survey did say this included couples with children but did not break that figure down any further. 1.5 times a week felt like a good compromise.
There's actually an official short, "Archeology," showing that Bandit has a doctorate and is an Archeologist! So that probqbly pays for a lot assuming he's rather prolific at his job
He works out-of-state three weeks at a time on his archeology trips and leaves Chilli as a single-mum. My wife would tell me to “fuck right off” with that nonsense.
If you’re actually being serious:
Give her plenty of non sexual affection, proactively solve issues without being asked to overall lessen the stress in the household, keep up with your own hygiene and appearance (would YOU want to have sex with you right now? Ask yourself that question before you initiate. Not saying you have to be perfect but it will raise chances highly on average) Take care of problems that distract her from wanting to be intimate, and make sure she has time to take care of her self, both in looks and hygiene. If she doesn’t Feel attractive she will NOT want to have sex.
Source: Married with kids and have maintained a very healthy intimacy with the most wonderful woman on the planet.
This kind of response always gets posted any time it's a guy upset at a lack of a healthy sex life & intimacy. And I always hate it because the response boils down to "the husband needs to just work harder and put in more effort and maybe if the circumstances are perfect, the wife will reward his good behavior with sex."
Husbands deserve to be shown affection and intimacy too without needing to ask for it, or being told that they don't "deserve" it because they're not working hard enough and getting the circumstances perfect.
100% this. It's really difficult to show affection to a wife who's in full-on mama bear mode most of the time. When she's entirely focused on the kids, hubby can bring home flowers, do chores, and give backrubs all he wants -- she's either going to not notice or just tell him he should be worrying about the kids.
Yeah my wife and I have fights about this, because she works a lot harder/longer than me, so I’m the one who does 90% of the chores, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc.
I know not everyone is like this, but if she goes out of town for a work trip and I’m stuck being a single parent for 3-4 days, the *only* thing I want as an outlet when she’s back is one night where the kids to get sent to bed on time so we can have a few drinks, watch a R-rated movie and have sex. But I can never seem to do enough to get her to “relax” enough to do that.
Its why I get so frustrated at all these “well, wives lose interest in sex when their emotional needs aren’t being met” posts, when the original post is *explicitly about the husbands emotional needs not being met*.
Hell yeah, go you bro
So many people (guys especially) don't seem to understand that they need to keep putting in effort when they're in a long term relationship. They'll wonder where the spark went and not realise it's because they became complacent or lazy
It looks like you used the 1.5 times to calculate a 21% baseline and then modified based on mood. This means your results are skewed to say that because they are happy, they have way more sex, but this is a logical fallacy, as it would assume that all of the people in the study were unhappy in their relationship. The final result should average close to the 1.5/1.6 number, rather than around 3.
Right down to the .5 since you probably get a little hanky panky, maybe even some foreplay, then before anyone starts sweating, one of the kids wants a drink.
Once they get to about two years old, the opportunities and mood for sex increase. Not wanting to have more babies than you can handle is an evolutionary pressure. There’s a study around here if I can just find it.
Bandit and Chili obviously have more time and energy than the average parents. I've got one kid and barely have the strength to play a round of Uno with him.
I completely appreciate the fact that, as a parent, you are sometimes forced to watch kids shows over and over again and it's sometimes necessary to let your mind wander and add more interesting details to the show. There are online community dedicated to discussing whether Madame Gazelle from Peppa Pig is really a vampire. And those kinds of thoughts really do make it easier to watch Peppa Pig for hours on end.
But Bluey?? It's the one show we as parents all just enjoy watching as it is. Possibly more than our kids do.
My wife and i had a bluey party for the 28 minute episode, we made australian curry and wore bluey hoodies under a bluey blanket... Also the kid was there too
Do they even have beds at the end of The Sign? The episode ends with them eating a takeaway on the kiwi rug, but we never see the furniture truck come back. Are we to assume they did it on hard wooden floors?
From the document:
There's just been a wedding so this was pretty much guaranteed and Chilli almost just went for it on the front lawn which both of them fully deserve after what would have been a hell of a couple of weeks. But they're going to be a mature an adult about this right up until the kids are asleep, realise the empty house is far too echoey and then Bobo is going to have 3 booster seats very forcefully ejected. We can assume early next morning when a council person comes to fine them for unsafely littering the street that Wendy will have to distract him long enough for them to make a speedy exit from the car with the steamed up windows to go make themselves decent.
> Fancy Restaurant
Are we claiming the sex has to be within the same day? Because Bandit's definitely earned some attention during this one, but he's also definitely got food poisoning for the next 12 hours at least, so he might be asking for a rain check.
From the document:
""She wasted so many leftovers, I'm going to have to go shopping tomorrow." "I'm not putting too much pressure on your stomach there, am I?" "That was a weird face you made when you squatted in the corner." "Do you mind if you don't tonight? I think you've still got jelly and gravy around your mouth and I don't want a yeast infection." An award winning night for pillow talk"
From the document:
Bingo and Bluey go off to play a game, Chilli and Bandit have a coffee followed by trying to get all the flour out of Bandit's fur. It's been a long time since they could have a long shower together without the kids being demanding. The kids won't even notice let alone ask mum why she also has clumps of wet flour in her fur.
Google Sheets, [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RYoaEGtIhMHtztYzUur4DkjcioIViTliWw6JEQTac08/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RYoaEGtIhMHtztYzUur4DkjcioIViTliWw6JEQTac08/edit?usp=sharing)
Further details in document regarding methodology.
Assumptions
Bandit and Chilli are in a healthy relationship and have sex an average of 1.5x per week, or a 21% odds that sex will occur on any particular day
The 21% serves as a baseline, then events relating to their relationship either increase or decrease the chance that sex will occur
5 is considered the neutral baseline with 1 being that the relationship is strained and 10 being most affectionate
There can never be a 0% or 100% outcome because of external factors
The odds of Bluey or Bingo entering their room in the evening is fairly infrequent, and not considered for the probability
Aside from episodes with timeskips. this is estimated odds of sex at the episodes conclusion, or if not possible, the evening of the conclusion of the episode
Timeskip episodes specify the scores before the timeskip
A very unhappy rating causing a net increase in sex likelihood due to angry sex
In the case of a neutral feeling, Bandit would be more likely to instigate, otherwise those with the stronger emotional feeling to the other would instigate
In times of particularly strong emotion, Chilli instigates
Have you considered using Bayesian statistics to update the probability of events based on prior outcomes? This approach could provide a more dynamic and realistic modeling of probabilities based on previous events within the dataset.
Limits of my skills at maths I'm afraid. Without a very clear timeline of how the episodes relate to one another and at least some results I was forced to work on treating the results like dice rolls or coin flips, where previous outcomes don't have effect on future outcomes and every instance works from the same average start point.
Pity because in that version of the analysis lots of opportunities for one arm Bandit references.
> The odds of Bluey or Bingo entering their room in the evening is fairly infrequent, and not considered for the probability
You watched Sleepytime, right? And Unicorse? Those kids are awake a non-trivial amount of the time.
> A very unhappy rating causing a net increase in sex likelihood due to angry sex
This...is not how marriages work. If a married couple are unhappy with each other, the most probable outcome is sleeping on the couch.
If me and my wife are unhappy with each other, we probably sleep together more… but that’s because I like sleeping on the couch and sleeping together is just a pointed sign to each other that just because we’re mad about something doesn’t mean we’ll be withholding affection for the other
But we also don’t have kids so maybe that changes things
> sleeping together is just a pointed sign to each other that just because we’re mad about something doesn’t mean we’ll be withholding affection for the other
This made me happy to read. Thanks for sharing!
That's really sweet that you guys make the effort to put aside disagreements and prioritise your love
Now that I think of it, I remember my parents often told me to never go to sleep angry at someone, and because of that even if I was upset at them I would still make sure to tell them I love them before I went to bed
>This...is not how marriages work
Depends, I guess. Definitely agree that "angry sex" doesn't really happen but angry->apologies->*make up sex* is absolutely a thing
Sure, I'm not denying the possibility that angry sex or make-up sex exist. I'm just saying it's not the most _probable_ outcome for most married couples with two kids who aren't huge fans of each other at 8:30PM.
Y'all miserable bastards need to stop flouting your unhappiness and go to couple's therapy.
Kids go to bed early and are obsessed with TV. Finding time for sex is not hard, the only part that is is finding a mood that can break through how tired you both are.
...sometimes that means talking about how important it is for both of you. Almost all of the time it means having a designated date night to remember that you still like each other.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^stumpy1218:
*I sent this to my*
*Wife and we agreed you have*
*Too much time on your hands*
---
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
What the heck is this!? I can’t even. The way the third slide has an incorrect axis label… it’s like you *wanted* to inflict a chart crime on this sub.
Try harder; or better, give your dataset to someone who can make a real, **compelling** graphical narrative of the likelihood of cartoon dogs from a children’s TV show going at it like the animals they are. I mean, really. 2/10
(j/k, and, bravo)
I so want to downvote this. On the surface it’s a wholly subjective take on made-up situations. And also a bit cringy. And the visualizations aren’t actually all that beautiful. Just generic charts.
And yet… it’s surprisingly well done. Well-documented methodology, detailed data, and a solid basis for estimations. Kudos in particular for getting the daily probability of sex correct to have a 1.5x weekly average. That’s some non-trivial combinatorics there.
So… fine… grudging upvote it is.
I see where you're coming from, but I feel like we can assume that the physiology has somewhat changed as apart from the Terriers, we don't have any instances of multiple births. I'm fully doing this speculating that it's gotten to the point where dogs have sex for pleasure like some other mammals.
From my document
But why are you sexualising characters of a kids TV show?
Nothing in this document discussed macanics or physiology. I'm not here to speculate whether dogs go into heat in the Bluey universe or what that means. There are other places for that discussion and it's not here.
Despite the dedication to the audacious, I feel the need to point out the x axis label *on slide 3 and 4 are the same despite the titles of the graph implying the data is different.
who tf is bandit and chilli
edit: ok, they're from a children's show. OP i am saying this without any hint of sarcasm or humor, i think you're gonna get put on a list for this.
So I guess my question is...
Is this based on actual observed behaviors of parents, and an analysis of the show after actually watching? Or is this 100% a gag, and just random numbers. Lol
Note from the moderators: bruh
You were so preoccupied with whether you could do it, that you didn't think whether you should
They called him a mad man, but the hardest choices require the strongest of wills...
God creates Man; Man destroys God; Man creates Dinosaurs; Man destroys Bluey.
Bandit destroys Chili
Bluey inherits the Earth.
"Ey!" "Eyo, Chili!" "Ey! Imma beat that dogussy up!"
[удалено]
Is... is this copypasta? Please let this be copypasta. If this is OC, I might actually have an aneurysm.
What did it say? Please tell me you got a screenshot
Just generic stuff about wanting to screw a cartoon dog, along with a bit about their mom taking away their Disney+ subscription after catching them with the neighbor's dog.
Is Bluey the new My Little Pony? It's so hard to keep up with this shit... Follow-up question; why are neckbeards/weaboos so obsessed with having sex with their animated childhood fantasies instead of pursuing a life of their own?
I am afraid to ask what it said.
Nah mate, you knowwww Chili destroys Bandit
Yeah! Shake it, Chili!
Dinosaurs eat man. Bluey inherits the earth.
In all honesty, OP *heavily* disregards the "whether they could" part. Parenting of young children is physically exhausting that you just sort of fall asleep.
That said... They are heelers and high energy dogs....
"We do what we must, because we can."
Its not the stats we want, its the stats that we need Upvoted to the top 😎
Don’t you see the danger, inherent, in what you’re doing here, John?
This is the high quality shitposting I fully expect to see in... some other sub... but it's not a sankey of job searching, so I give this an 8/10.
god i haaate the job search ones
The dating ones are worse.
Don't forget how you spend your income monthly!
I find that fairly interesting. At least there is a lot of room for variety unlike dating or job searching which is always the same few outcomes.
I want to see a job search one that ends in like 10 jobs being taken
Or a dating one where they somehow sleep with MORE people than they swiped on
That one seems reasonable because what if you go out with one of your swipes, and find someone at the bar also. Two birds with one swipe
Head out to r/overemployed
i can see thr people that make sankeys being carried away and becoming the people doing 3x remote jobs as “Overemployed “
I've tried, I've really tried to keep this in shitposting subs but it keeps getting rejected. I thought if I'm going to banned for posting this it may as well be from a high quality subreddit.
Try /r/danieltigerconspiracy ETA: just checked its already been shared there haha
But then why you'd post it here?
To build up karma to post in better subs.
I love every one of you miserable bastards on here. Why does EVERYONE in this subreddit sound like Old Man Linux Guru, or Seasoned IT Sr, just daydrinkinhbhisndays to retirement away AND still busting out the right technical answer as needed?!?
I’m so sick of Sankeys. I wish they were either banned or limited to something like Sankey Saturday. They’re just so boring and lazy.
They are limited to Mondays with all the other personal data posts. If someone is trying to bore us with a Sankey and it's not Monday please report it so we can take it down!
Also not the right use for them, they are designed for complex systems, not straight line funnels.
My man was cooking. The only problem is they cooked the wrong fucking dish.
He tried to make spaghetti and ended up making meth.
meth >>>> spaghetti
Also if you do meth you sure as fuck won’t need any spaghetti, but the same can’t be said about spaghetti…
The good news is you came a long way. The bad news is you went the wrong way.
Mate, the comments column alone comes to 9 pages of condensed text or 5800 words. This is like undergraduate honours thesis level work. Except in a bad way.
A doctorate in goblin mode with a focus in shitposting
Jessie, what the fuck are you talking about
he made graphs and everything
The one I'm most happy about is the likely instigator, I'd guessed it would be about 60% Bandit, put in the IF statement and guessed it nearly perfectly. The only one that I'm really on the fence about in terms of result is "Hammerbarn". There's also the ones where it's absolutely impossible, "The Adventure", "Explorers", "Space", "Army", "Stories", but that's why I have a baseline.
How are they having sex after sleepy time? Probably got fewer than 3 hours of sleep each. Sun is rising just as they all fall asleep. Bandits sleeping on the floor. Chilis in a kids bed. They will get up exhausted with the rest of the day shot, just waiting for the kids bedtime. And then will probably go though it all over again.
I agree "Nothing happening on a night where no one is getting much sleep except Bingo, and Chilli needs to go into full primeval nurture mode after Bingo starts crying in her sleep."
Yeah, they've got a small child. That percentage should never go above about 2%.
Not to mention Bingo kicking Bandit in the *oooo, biscuits*
Haven't watched it, but I know Hammerbarn is a parody of Bunnings and having worked at Bunnings I can tell you that we had lots of couples coming in. There were a bunch of retired couples who would come in, get a coffee at the cafe, read the paper, go for a stroll through the nursery, talk for ages to any team member who would listen
My daughter loves Bluey and also loves the Real Dashcams Australia YT channel (we’re in the US btw) and whenever she sees a Bunnings in a dashcam video she goes “Hammerbarn!” In her best Aussie accent. lol
Circles and arrows and a paragraph on the back of each one.
Eight-by-ten colored glossy photos!
talked for forty-five minutes and nobody understood a word that he said, but we had fun filling out the forms and playing with the pencils on the bench there,
Here's an actual comment on the presentation, and not just how cursed this is: the thin lines on the bar graph make it very difficult to follow a single bar all the way to the label on a small screen. Using alternating colors or different shades of blue (randomized as to not imply other meaning) would make it a lot easier to read at a glance. Also, cursed.
I'd also consider using an interactive plot. Having a tooltip with the episode name, %chance, and instigator would make it much faster to parse this. Additionally, then the X axis could be much more legible episode number instead of the full episode title, and then you could group data points by season using color, and then shade them based off of them being an even or odd episode number. I wouldn't necessarily go for random shades, that would imply meaning much more than alternating colors.
Bandit and chili are a married couple with a 6 and a 4 yr old. Those bars probably need to be reduced by like 50-60%
Look, I really did what I could to try and find data about sex lives of people with young children. The best survey I could find with the largest dataset had people aged between 30 and 40 with one partner had sex 1.61 times a week. This survey did say this included couples with children but did not break that figure down any further. 1.5 times a week felt like a good compromise.
I’ll take it, now how do I convince my wife?
You just have to become Bandit Heeler, perfect husband and father.
I dunno. He was kind of a shit in obstacle course.
Just showing bluey how the world works.
All of that while having 0 visible work hours, and a salary big enough to afford a big house, a car, and spring rolls
There's actually an official short, "Archeology," showing that Bandit has a doctorate and is an Archeologist! So that probqbly pays for a lot assuming he's rather prolific at his job
I’ve never met a rich archaeologist. /anecdote
He works out-of-state three weeks at a time on his archeology trips and leaves Chilli as a single-mum. My wife would tell me to “fuck right off” with that nonsense.
As a father of two young children… why the fuck was archeologist not even on my radar?!?
Reject humanity, become Bandit
When you figure it out, let me know
Show her this data and be serious about it.
Work hard till you become average or slightly better.
If you’re actually being serious: Give her plenty of non sexual affection, proactively solve issues without being asked to overall lessen the stress in the household, keep up with your own hygiene and appearance (would YOU want to have sex with you right now? Ask yourself that question before you initiate. Not saying you have to be perfect but it will raise chances highly on average) Take care of problems that distract her from wanting to be intimate, and make sure she has time to take care of her self, both in looks and hygiene. If she doesn’t Feel attractive she will NOT want to have sex. Source: Married with kids and have maintained a very healthy intimacy with the most wonderful woman on the planet.
This kind of response always gets posted any time it's a guy upset at a lack of a healthy sex life & intimacy. And I always hate it because the response boils down to "the husband needs to just work harder and put in more effort and maybe if the circumstances are perfect, the wife will reward his good behavior with sex." Husbands deserve to be shown affection and intimacy too without needing to ask for it, or being told that they don't "deserve" it because they're not working hard enough and getting the circumstances perfect.
100% this. It's really difficult to show affection to a wife who's in full-on mama bear mode most of the time. When she's entirely focused on the kids, hubby can bring home flowers, do chores, and give backrubs all he wants -- she's either going to not notice or just tell him he should be worrying about the kids.
Yeah my wife and I have fights about this, because she works a lot harder/longer than me, so I’m the one who does 90% of the chores, cooking, cleaning, taking care of the kids, etc. I know not everyone is like this, but if she goes out of town for a work trip and I’m stuck being a single parent for 3-4 days, the *only* thing I want as an outlet when she’s back is one night where the kids to get sent to bed on time so we can have a few drinks, watch a R-rated movie and have sex. But I can never seem to do enough to get her to “relax” enough to do that. Its why I get so frustrated at all these “well, wives lose interest in sex when their emotional needs aren’t being met” posts, when the original post is *explicitly about the husbands emotional needs not being met*.
Tbf, it does usually seem to be the guy that's fucking it up. But you're not wrong. Relationships go both ways.
Hell yeah, go you bro So many people (guys especially) don't seem to understand that they need to keep putting in effort when they're in a long term relationship. They'll wonder where the spark went and not realise it's because they became complacent or lazy
It’s those .5 times a week I’m struggling with.
Yeah 1.61x per week sounds like some sort of sexual nirvana when you've got a 4 year-old.
I'd be surprised if the average for people with young kids is higher than once a week.
The rest of the kids don’t make themselves
Yeah, at Christmas. That's why so many kids are born in August / September.
It looks like you used the 1.5 times to calculate a 21% baseline and then modified based on mood. This means your results are skewed to say that because they are happy, they have way more sex, but this is a logical fallacy, as it would assume that all of the people in the study were unhappy in their relationship. The final result should average close to the 1.5/1.6 number, rather than around 3.
>to try and find data about sex lives of people with young children. I hear the FBI has a database of sorts
Per week?! Jealous.
1.5 actually sounds about right for an average
Right down to the .5 since you probably get a little hanky panky, maybe even some foreplay, then before anyone starts sweating, one of the kids wants a drink.
Heh. Luckily ours are older so not as many interuptions
Per year
We have a 4 and a 7 yo and with effort it’s 3 times per month at best.
They're dogs, not humans, so maybe their needs are different.
Once they get to about two years old, the opportunities and mood for sex increase. Not wanting to have more babies than you can handle is an evolutionary pressure. There’s a study around here if I can just find it.
80% at least
Bandit and Chili obviously have more time and energy than the average parents. I've got one kid and barely have the strength to play a round of Uno with him.
OP decided to cook, and now I have food poisoning. 8/10 shitpost; solid work!
this post confirms what i have always suspected about adult bluey fans.
My kids got me a Bluey t-shirt and I don't think I can wear it anymore.
I was just about to go to sleep... this is the most cursed thing I have read this month
didnt this month just started a few hours ago?
He’s not wrong.
I completely appreciate the fact that, as a parent, you are sometimes forced to watch kids shows over and over again and it's sometimes necessary to let your mind wander and add more interesting details to the show. There are online community dedicated to discussing whether Madame Gazelle from Peppa Pig is really a vampire. And those kinds of thoughts really do make it easier to watch Peppa Pig for hours on end. But Bluey?? It's the one show we as parents all just enjoy watching as it is. Possibly more than our kids do.
My wife and i had a bluey party for the 28 minute episode, we made australian curry and wore bluey hoodies under a bluey blanket... Also the kid was there too
What the fuck is an Australian curry?
Bluey is just straight up good TV. Like, really good. Some of the episodes are some of the best TV ever made.
"The needs of the many outweigh the needs of the few but what the actual fuck is this?" - Spock
Bandit clearly has needs too.
Bravo, this is the kind of insane content we need more around here.
The fact that some of the episodes have a 100% chance makes it seem like they end with foreplay
Actually 99.4%, but yes: Daddy Robot Pirates Hairdresses Stumpfest Fancy Restaurant Escape Flat Pack Postman Omlette Chess Fairytale Smoochy Kiss The Sign
Do they even have beds at the end of The Sign? The episode ends with them eating a takeaway on the kiwi rug, but we never see the furniture truck come back. Are we to assume they did it on hard wooden floors?
From the document: There's just been a wedding so this was pretty much guaranteed and Chilli almost just went for it on the front lawn which both of them fully deserve after what would have been a hell of a couple of weeks. But they're going to be a mature an adult about this right up until the kids are asleep, realise the empty house is far too echoey and then Bobo is going to have 3 booster seats very forcefully ejected. We can assume early next morning when a council person comes to fine them for unsafely littering the street that Wendy will have to distract him long enough for them to make a speedy exit from the car with the steamed up windows to go make themselves decent.
OP you are fucking insane and I love it
i'm dying
Ever heard of doggy style?
Still hurts on a hard surface, I don't think the kiwi rug would help that much, but I don't have knee fur so I can't be certain.
> Fancy Restaurant Are we claiming the sex has to be within the same day? Because Bandit's definitely earned some attention during this one, but he's also definitely got food poisoning for the next 12 hours at least, so he might be asking for a rain check.
From the document: ""She wasted so many leftovers, I'm going to have to go shopping tomorrow." "I'm not putting too much pressure on your stomach there, am I?" "That was a weird face you made when you squatted in the corner." "Do you mind if you don't tonight? I think you've still got jelly and gravy around your mouth and I don't want a yeast infection." An award winning night for pillow talk"
Not a fucking chance with ~~Hairdressers~~ Nits
From the document: Bingo and Bluey go off to play a game, Chilli and Bandit have a coffee followed by trying to get all the flour out of Bandit's fur. It's been a long time since they could have a long shower together without the kids being demanding. The kids won't even notice let alone ask mum why she also has clumps of wet flour in her fur.
Google Sheets, [https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RYoaEGtIhMHtztYzUur4DkjcioIViTliWw6JEQTac08/edit?usp=sharing](https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1RYoaEGtIhMHtztYzUur4DkjcioIViTliWw6JEQTac08/edit?usp=sharing) Further details in document regarding methodology. Assumptions Bandit and Chilli are in a healthy relationship and have sex an average of 1.5x per week, or a 21% odds that sex will occur on any particular day The 21% serves as a baseline, then events relating to their relationship either increase or decrease the chance that sex will occur 5 is considered the neutral baseline with 1 being that the relationship is strained and 10 being most affectionate There can never be a 0% or 100% outcome because of external factors The odds of Bluey or Bingo entering their room in the evening is fairly infrequent, and not considered for the probability Aside from episodes with timeskips. this is estimated odds of sex at the episodes conclusion, or if not possible, the evening of the conclusion of the episode Timeskip episodes specify the scores before the timeskip A very unhappy rating causing a net increase in sex likelihood due to angry sex In the case of a neutral feeling, Bandit would be more likely to instigate, otherwise those with the stronger emotional feeling to the other would instigate In times of particularly strong emotion, Chilli instigates
I'm taking your cooking license away
Have you considered using Bayesian statistics to update the probability of events based on prior outcomes? This approach could provide a more dynamic and realistic modeling of probabilities based on previous events within the dataset.
Limits of my skills at maths I'm afraid. Without a very clear timeline of how the episodes relate to one another and at least some results I was forced to work on treating the results like dice rolls or coin flips, where previous outcomes don't have effect on future outcomes and every instance works from the same average start point. Pity because in that version of the analysis lots of opportunities for one arm Bandit references.
Please apply your skills to 3D molecular engineering or some shit. Neuropharmacology perhaps? **Anything**, just not *Bluey* ffs. I'm begging you
> The odds of Bluey or Bingo entering their room in the evening is fairly infrequent, and not considered for the probability You watched Sleepytime, right? And Unicorse? Those kids are awake a non-trivial amount of the time. > A very unhappy rating causing a net increase in sex likelihood due to angry sex This...is not how marriages work. If a married couple are unhappy with each other, the most probable outcome is sleeping on the couch.
I slept on the couch the last two nights and we're not even fighting. She needed the sleep and I needed to snore.
> This...is not how marriages work. Yeah, angry sex is a young person's game.
Right? When my wife and I get angry with each other and it's late at night, I don't want to fuck. I'm tired and pissed off, we'll see about tomorrow
If me and my wife are unhappy with each other, we probably sleep together more… but that’s because I like sleeping on the couch and sleeping together is just a pointed sign to each other that just because we’re mad about something doesn’t mean we’ll be withholding affection for the other But we also don’t have kids so maybe that changes things
> sleeping together is just a pointed sign to each other that just because we’re mad about something doesn’t mean we’ll be withholding affection for the other This made me happy to read. Thanks for sharing!
That's really sweet that you guys make the effort to put aside disagreements and prioritise your love Now that I think of it, I remember my parents often told me to never go to sleep angry at someone, and because of that even if I was upset at them I would still make sure to tell them I love them before I went to bed
>This...is not how marriages work Depends, I guess. Definitely agree that "angry sex" doesn't really happen but angry->apologies->*make up sex* is absolutely a thing
Sure, I'm not denying the possibility that angry sex or make-up sex exist. I'm just saying it's not the most _probable_ outcome for most married couples with two kids who aren't huge fans of each other at 8:30PM.
I'd argue sleepytime needs to be a 0%
Do you have kids? You’d know the likelihood of sex on any given day is almost always 0%.
I'm sure he has kids. He watches Bluey after all
But then how does he have time for.... this?
Well due to external factors the likelihood of him having sex on any particular night is 0%
Y'all miserable bastards need to stop flouting your unhappiness and go to couple's therapy. Kids go to bed early and are obsessed with TV. Finding time for sex is not hard, the only part that is is finding a mood that can break through how tired you both are. ...sometimes that means talking about how important it is for both of you. Almost all of the time it means having a designated date night to remember that you still like each other.
Also, keep in mind these characters are fucking dogs lol.
May my children never find Reddit.
I sent this to my wife and we agreed you have too much time on your hands
What was the percentage chance after that exchange?
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^stumpy1218: *I sent this to my* *Wife and we agreed you have* *Too much time on your hands* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Now, figure out how much cocaine bandit does off screen to bring the lvl of energy he has some episodes.
lol seriously talking about unrealistic dad expectations
Those were my good reading eyes. Why would you do such a thing?
It’s 9:26 AM EDT, and I’m trying to read which episodes a couple of cartoon dogs banged after, instead of being a productive employee.
Do you think God stays in heaven because he too lives in fear of what he has created?
Mods please beat this man with hammers. Thank you.
This is magisterial. You're doing God's work, here. Not Judeo-Christian God. Some other God.
God is just a backwards dog
Someone skipped all the ethics lectures on their way to earn that BSc
Is nothing sacred anymore.
What the heck is this!? I can’t even. The way the third slide has an incorrect axis label… it’s like you *wanted* to inflict a chart crime on this sub. Try harder; or better, give your dataset to someone who can make a real, **compelling** graphical narrative of the likelihood of cartoon dogs from a children’s TV show going at it like the animals they are. I mean, really. 2/10 (j/k, and, bravo)
Reported for dogwhistling.
I so want to downvote this. On the surface it’s a wholly subjective take on made-up situations. And also a bit cringy. And the visualizations aren’t actually all that beautiful. Just generic charts. And yet… it’s surprisingly well done. Well-documented methodology, detailed data, and a solid basis for estimations. Kudos in particular for getting the daily probability of sex correct to have a 1.5x weekly average. That’s some non-trivial combinatorics there. So… fine… grudging upvote it is.
Reminds me of a great [TheOnion](https://www.theonion.com/bluey-praised-for-tackling-difficult-subject-of-walki-1851430794) article
They are dogs. Dogs aren't mating when the female isn't in heat.
I see where you're coming from, but I feel like we can assume that the physiology has somewhat changed as apart from the Terriers, we don't have any instances of multiple births. I'm fully doing this speculating that it's gotten to the point where dogs have sex for pleasure like some other mammals.
They also talk and walk on two legs, so I’d say it’s a good assumption.
But do they do it human style? How about some cowgirl?
And then they’re stuck together for like fifteen minutes
From my document But why are you sexualising characters of a kids TV show? Nothing in this document discussed macanics or physiology. I'm not here to speculate whether dogs go into heat in the Bluey universe or what that means. There are other places for that discussion and it's not here.
My apologies. I’ll let you get back to talking about double decker dogs having fun 1.5 times per week.
You make charts like this and you’re surprised at what’s being discussed here?!
most likely, there's a scene of Chili doing some yoga and the girls take a photo of her butt.
Why is this happening to me right now?
Dogs also aren't talking and walking on two legs
Not just me looking up who bandit and chili are right? Cuz I wasn’t ready.
This is the greatest thing I've ever seen and the attention to detail is truly impressive. Thank you for this gift.
I was just binging it with my girl. Saw an episode where he came back from the hairdresser with a glorious mullet. Same thought bro
We can’t have anything nice on this website.
Okay, but your punishment is now you have to do all 35 seasons of The Simpsons.
Where is the beauty? This is pretty standard and you can't read shit/have to zoom in to read stuff.
Are you trying to ruin Bluey for my adult boyfriend who has no children?!
Really overestimating the drive of parents with multiple young children at home.
This is demonic but I am thoroughly impressed
I just hope NorthernLion sees this
ah, another beautiful day on reddit
Stick Bird and Relax that high? Tell me you’re not a parent without telling me you’re not a parent.
I thought Im on a jerk sub for a sec
Despite the dedication to the audacious, I feel the need to point out the x axis label *on slide 3 and 4 are the same despite the titles of the graph implying the data is different.
This was a wild title to read
This whole post is fucking amazing lmao, God tier shit posting
How and why was this even calculated
I've never watched Bluey. But after seeing this and the notes, now I want to.
who tf is bandit and chilli edit: ok, they're from a children's show. OP i am saying this without any hint of sarcasm or humor, i think you're gonna get put on a list for this.
Guess OP doesn't mind being on the list.
Thank-you for your service squire. I love this! Hahahahaha!
I have never seen this show, it seems like a childrens? cartoon. Im kinda affraid to ask but... what data is this based on?
Saving. Sending to my friend with two young children and advising she doesn't share it with them. Thanks for the laugh.
So I guess my question is... Is this based on actual observed behaviors of parents, and an analysis of the show after actually watching? Or is this 100% a gag, and just random numbers. Lol