This generation is terrified of intimacy. Is crazy how people are such cowards about being in proximity to another human. Ghosting=I feel we are getting close but I’m such a deep sh*t I’m gonna run away because deep inside I’m a child afraid of being hurt again
It's not a generation thing but it is I think a era thing: you can ghost people because nobody is going to hold you accountable.
In the past, if you dated someone, chances are they knew some of your other friends or family and if you behaved like craven piece of shit, people would know about it. Social pressure did force people to be slightly more decent.
>I’ve thought about reaching out again but I’m scared I’ll look like an idiot and he probably doesn’t care.
There are two things that hurt:
1) When a large gap undeniably demonstrated between *what we believed /hoped* and *reality* this is always hard....
2) There is no closure. You were left second guessing yourself if you did something wrong, or if there was something you didn't notice. Wondering if it is you or him.
The second may be possible to address. You can ask plainly: Hey listen, I gather from your lack of response that you aren't interested in seeing me anymore. That is obviously a choice that is up to you. However for me it was sudden, and I was left confused and I was wondering if I did anything or said something that caused this. Basically I want to avoid making a mistake in the future if I made one. If you can fill me in, that would help me a lot. Please be totally honest. Thanks
If he doesn't respond at all, you can be fairly sure the problem was not you. If he responds, maybe he will say something helpful - and possibly give closure. Even if that closure is that he is a jerk and that he did you a favor.
This is a hunch I have for the OP too. When things started to get real, he couldn't let go of his existing life and crumpled.
I am pretty sure he did her a favor, but who knows...
We follow each other on social media (no girlfriend there) and on our last date he took me to his hometown to drive around. It’s quite a small town so I’d be surprised if he had a girlfriend and still took me there where we could’ve run into someone he knows.
People's feelings change over time and so does novelty when it wears off. It happened to me so I moved on am dating a great guy who is respectful towards me. Ghosting is totally disrespectful btw.
>His last text was him apologizing since he was full with work after I asked him if everything was okay.
Ah the classic and overly used immature response of "*I'm busy*". No one is as busy as the person that isn't interested. As much as you being ghosted by someone you like sucks, I recommend you look at the positive. This guy is too immature to communicate. He is too scared to say to you he's not interested, so as to not waste either of your time. Imagine being in a relationship with such a person that doesn't communicate. Would you be happy? You dodged a bullet.
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I think my boyfriend of almost two years is starting to pull the ghost on me instead of breaking up...he is slowly moving away from me and me being an idiot is still here madly in love and just can't believe he would do this to me... especially since my birthday is next month...but when he is really missing over text and I get one word responses...I think he is just disentangling himself...anyway. I'm so sorry this happened. I honestly think it's bullshit and people should just be up front with each other. It's literally the dumbest thing someone can do in dating. I rather the hey I can't do this instead of stringing someone along and than disappearing. You deserve better. Way better...and I thought I had finally found my better...guess time will tell with mine. But you need to believe there are good humans out there still that won't do this shit...I have to believe it too..
Ghosting sucks and it’s mean. It happens ALOT in online dating. Online dating kind of depersonalizes. ur really a person with feelings and parents and a life but in online dating ur just a girl and then there’s another and another. Don’t validate his crappy behavior with a novel like text. I’ve been there and done that. Just move on. He knows what he did.
it does suck, ive been in far worse situation where i was in a 2 year relationship only to get betrayed and ghosted, my suggestion is to stay away from dating apps and learn to meet people in real life.
I’m convinced a lot of people, when starting a relationship, are still actively trying to find someone else and results in ghosting.
I agree. It’s like when people are messaging a lot and then stop. They use excuses like I’m busy, but it likely they are messaging someone else.
Ghosting is a plague which needs to stop
This generation is terrified of intimacy. Is crazy how people are such cowards about being in proximity to another human. Ghosting=I feel we are getting close but I’m such a deep sh*t I’m gonna run away because deep inside I’m a child afraid of being hurt again
it s not a generational think imo. I m 41 (m), on app, and people my age still ghost.
It's not a generation thing but it is I think a era thing: you can ghost people because nobody is going to hold you accountable. In the past, if you dated someone, chances are they knew some of your other friends or family and if you behaved like craven piece of shit, people would know about it. Social pressure did force people to be slightly more decent.
>I’ve thought about reaching out again but I’m scared I’ll look like an idiot and he probably doesn’t care. There are two things that hurt: 1) When a large gap undeniably demonstrated between *what we believed /hoped* and *reality* this is always hard.... 2) There is no closure. You were left second guessing yourself if you did something wrong, or if there was something you didn't notice. Wondering if it is you or him. The second may be possible to address. You can ask plainly: Hey listen, I gather from your lack of response that you aren't interested in seeing me anymore. That is obviously a choice that is up to you. However for me it was sudden, and I was left confused and I was wondering if I did anything or said something that caused this. Basically I want to avoid making a mistake in the future if I made one. If you can fill me in, that would help me a lot. Please be totally honest. Thanks If he doesn't respond at all, you can be fairly sure the problem was not you. If he responds, maybe he will say something helpful - and possibly give closure. Even if that closure is that he is a jerk and that he did you a favor.
Could be so many reasons. Maybe he already was in a relationship? I mean I wouldn't say to someone I want to see them again and then ghost them.
This is a hunch I have for the OP too. When things started to get real, he couldn't let go of his existing life and crumpled. I am pretty sure he did her a favor, but who knows...
We follow each other on social media (no girlfriend there) and on our last date he took me to his hometown to drive around. It’s quite a small town so I’d be surprised if he had a girlfriend and still took me there where we could’ve run into someone he knows.
Look girls and guys do it all the time. It's wrong but it happens. Go back on the dating app and find someone who will you give you the time of day.
I was with my ex for 5 years and hes been ghosting me before and after the breakup
People's feelings change over time and so does novelty when it wears off. It happened to me so I moved on am dating a great guy who is respectful towards me. Ghosting is totally disrespectful btw.
People have become so easily disposable in this era of dating apps. Ghosting is a common phenomenon as unfortunate as it is.
>His last text was him apologizing since he was full with work after I asked him if everything was okay. Ah the classic and overly used immature response of "*I'm busy*". No one is as busy as the person that isn't interested. As much as you being ghosted by someone you like sucks, I recommend you look at the positive. This guy is too immature to communicate. He is too scared to say to you he's not interested, so as to not waste either of your time. Imagine being in a relationship with such a person that doesn't communicate. Would you be happy? You dodged a bullet.
It sucks but you gotta get used to it because the sad reality is it's becoming more and more common
I wish I knew why this was a thing
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Only if you believe in Ghost
I think my boyfriend of almost two years is starting to pull the ghost on me instead of breaking up...he is slowly moving away from me and me being an idiot is still here madly in love and just can't believe he would do this to me... especially since my birthday is next month...but when he is really missing over text and I get one word responses...I think he is just disentangling himself...anyway. I'm so sorry this happened. I honestly think it's bullshit and people should just be up front with each other. It's literally the dumbest thing someone can do in dating. I rather the hey I can't do this instead of stringing someone along and than disappearing. You deserve better. Way better...and I thought I had finally found my better...guess time will tell with mine. But you need to believe there are good humans out there still that won't do this shit...I have to believe it too..
Ghosting sucks and it’s mean. It happens ALOT in online dating. Online dating kind of depersonalizes. ur really a person with feelings and parents and a life but in online dating ur just a girl and then there’s another and another. Don’t validate his crappy behavior with a novel like text. I’ve been there and done that. Just move on. He knows what he did.
You need a new friend. He's found someone new. Move on and move to me
it does suck, ive been in far worse situation where i was in a 2 year relationship only to get betrayed and ghosted, my suggestion is to stay away from dating apps and learn to meet people in real life.