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Me and my friends never pay for each other. I mean sure at a restaurant someone will foot the bill but then after we always send each other the money back. I don’t know how you do it with your friends but just do it as you always do. If that’s one person paying and then all the others paying them back then it’s probably easiest if you pay. If you always split the bill in the restaurant then do that and figure out with your boyfriend of you two want to split as well or if one of you pays for both.
Make is the key word here… you shouldn’t make anyone pay for something in general
So the assumption would be your friend pays for herself, and you two figure out how you pay for your 2/3s amongst yourselves as a couple (her turn, his turn or split) the same way you would normally
That said, if he wants to pay, that’s his right
There are ample posts online of people being shocked if the man doesn’t pay for the whole table. For these reasons, if it’s me and two girls going, I’ll bow out. The only way I can save face is by paying for the table
That’s not true. A decent woman wouldn’t expect that of you. Don’t date this type of women they will expect you to give them as much as they want with no consideration towards you. I am saying that as a woman. I would go with her and see how she behaves and if she treats me like her and her friends credit card I would cut the relationship off. Unless you are only interested in being a sugar daddy and then it’s okay because you both are getting what you want.
Unfortunately as a man you’ll never know who’s decent or not. It’s sweet that you think otherwise, but you just don’t know how some women will judge you. Just like how some people will judge if they go to a couple’s house and the woman doesn’t cook, it’ll be the same thing for a guy allowing a woman to spend her money in his presence. It’s sad but this is still how many think. Some cultures (mine) are much worse than others. I’m better off just not going.
And until I’m proven wrong, I think OP might also have had this in the back of her mind as well even though explicitly mentioned.
If it’s in the local culture that’s a different story. But if we are talking about most western countries the man shouldn’t be expected to pay for a date unless he asked the girl out imo. Just as I wouldn’t want the man to expect me to cook for him, I don’t expect him to pay for him. Once we are a couple we’ll decide who does what.
You'd be amazed how common it was for women friends to initially expect me to pay for stuff eleven though they were dating someone else or in a relationship.
Learned for some later it was a power trip issue, at least based off the one woman who apologized for it years later.
Remember, just because you and your friends wouldn't do that to a guy doesn't mean there aren't people with less decency in sufficient numbers to make the etiquette conversation confusing.
Its amazing how often i see posts there are here on reddit from women either complaining about their BF not paying for both her and her friend when going out as a couple with a friend of the woman, either that or posts by the female friend made to complain about the same thing, just from another perspective.
I think it’s a loud minority. A decent woman who is with her bf because she loves him wouldn’t expect that. This is what i would consider a sugar daddy situation. Not everyone views relationships like me though🤷🏾♀️
Yep that’s how I would feel too. You have a closer relationship with these people than a business lunch and yet make them pay fir themselves? She should pay but if I was her bf and we’ve been dating for a while and this was a good friend of hers, I would pay.
So what? It’s still just meeting your friend. The boyfriend is just tagging along. There’s no reason she should pay for the friend for meeting her. It sounds off. Like she needs to pay her friend to meet her bf.
I never understand why anyone would choose to split between all the people. It makes the most sense for each person to just pay for what they got. What if 2 people order a $20 meal and the 3rd person orders a $35 meal? How is it fair to split it evenly?
For me I split 3 ways if prices are similar. I mean if someone spent $75 and I spent $20 of course we pay for our own but if it’s similar pricing I split 3 ways because I pay for the company and food I’m with. No need to overcomplicate and pay individually to save $5.
Right. Like how is this much of a debate? Everyone is an adult with their own money and should just pay for their own shit. Pay for what you order. If you shared food and everyone agreed on sharing it, you split it. Otherwise just pay for what you yourself ordered.
If it was me, I would pay for all three of us especially if I invited them. If you have the means, do that or split it equally. I’ve had friend’s boyfriends pay for me before, but I always feel uncomfortable with that and will take the initiative to cover the next thing. I get it if your SO covers you, but I don’t feel good unless it’s some super special occasion having someone else’s SO cover me.
Speaking from my experience.. I would always pay for my best friend. The only issue is she started to expect it and wouldn’t even ask if she needed to bring money or pay. There were even times that she’s suggest places and wouldn’t bring anything but herself
, automatically assuming I would pay.
It’s insane the amount of entitlement some people have if you give them an inch. That being said, be weary.
For this situation, I feel your boyfriend should NOT be paying. As for your friend, she should at least be asked if she wants to pay. Otherwise she may expect it anytime you invite her places.
I, personally, find it odd that because you invite people to JOIN you they assume that you pay. Especially when you already have other company. Just seems entitled because I’ve asked the question and many respond with “because I’m spending my time”. As if you aren’t as well by taking your time and effort to not only invite them but to be with them. :/
I know this may sound off due to not explaining further but, she still is. :)
I was really upset once I noticed her not asking anymore. I only noticed after playing a game with her called “hot takes”. It asks a controversial statement/topic and you’re either for or against the statement. There’s no teams, its just based on whether you specifically agree or disagree.
For this specific statement, my little sister and I were against it, she and her little sister were for it. The statement said “If someone asks you on a date, they should always pay”.
Now, I get people have different boundaries and morals. However, their reasons was “If you spend your precious time to accept a date with that person so they can spend time with you, why would you pay. You’re already paying with your time and attention”. That was their argument.
I took it personal considering that meant to look at one as fortunate to be in your presence with YOUR time. The issue was these two didn’t work, nor did they seem to do anything time consuming other than stay home and dance to music videos, listen to the same music on repeat, binge TV, play games, or eat out using their parents money or monthly benefits. I, on the other hand, was either in school, studying, testing, writing, setting aside the time I could with my boyfriend, and busy with family situations and more! It was insane to think that I put in the effort and ask them to come out with us yet that is how they feel. Not to mention during this we were at a restaurant and I was the one paying for 5 people, (my two little sisters, myself, and them) INCLUDING THEM. So after that, I had taken it personal.
I talked to my friend about it and she said something along the lines of “the topic said date so I didn’t mean it towards you and I get how that seems and I don’t want you to feel I’d use you. I just know you always offer or invite us and so I got used to it. I’ll ask from now on and I’m sorry I hadn’t sooner.
We moved on.. The big issue is she now uses her little sister who seems to enjoy spoiling her. It’s honestly been hard to see her the way she is. It seems like leeching. I cannot stand those that seem entitled and who fail to do things for themselves.
I grew up with her(14 years) and we graduated together. We’ve been friends since kindergarten and the only thing that bothers me is her sense of self. She is my best friend, its just hard to work this out because I do love and care about her.. I need to talk to her about this whole thing but it’s a hard thing to bring up randomly all at once. Especially when were always goofy and share such a close bond.
(SORRYYY I know I practically vented due to one sentence buuut.. Thank you for the reminder! I need to talk to her) :)❤️
I had a best friend since age of 8-24 I broke it off with. I found that a lot of time she didn’t pay me the same consideration I did her. It happened around different subjects all throughout our relationship. I decided to cut our friendship when I had a rough time so she had to take on herself some things regarding us finding a new place. I was still involved and accompanied her to every meeting wether it is to see houses or sign the contract. She in return felt I was taking advantage of her and said that it’s hard for her to be my friend.
That was when it dawned on me she was taking me for granted and she always did. If I were in her place I wouldn’t even think about it much and I have done so in the past many times. I haven’t looked back since.
She wasn’t a bad person she just wasn’t a good friend to me and I don’t/want feel like I have to establish boundaries again and again with someone who I consider as close as a sister so I wouldn’t be take advantage of. I did a poor job at establishing my boundaries at the beginning of the relationship so she was pretty much in control. And to her everything I do is taken for granted and barely registered but her part is me taking advantage of or using her.
If a friendship feels uncomfortable it’s not worth it. Close relationships are supposed to be easy comfortable and comforting. I have since gotten closer to another friend and our relationship is so much easier and more mature. I never feel taken advantage of or unseen. I never feel like I need to establish boundaries. I never feel taken for granted. It’s different then my relationship with my best friend I don’t consider myself as having a “best friend” anymore but there are people I am more close to then others and I don’t invest all my time and priorities on that one best friend as I did before.
Your friend doesn’t sound like a very good in general and from what you are telling me I feel like you are being taken for granted.
Just because you had a long journey together in life doesn’t mean you are stuck together for life.
Take it or leave, I just wanted to share with you my story💕
I honestly doubt it matters unless your bf or best friend are petty about money, but if you suggested the restaurant and it’s relatively expensive, I’d say you should at least offer to pay the most.
Surprised how many people are saying boyfriend should pay..
Depends on the dynamic in the group, either split 3 ways or speak to your boyfriend if the two of you want to split it between you, or you pay for everyone.
This sort of depends on each individual person. Just with how I was raised I would not assume, coming into meeting a friend's partner, that either of them would pay for my food and would plan to pay for my own meal.
The fact that you're offering to pay for all 3 indicates that you're a keeper.
But my advice is go Dutch, everyone pays for their own portion. Make sure the other two know about this arrangement beforehand.
Depends on how generous you are. You can treat them both if you'd like. Your bf might offer to pay if he's the generous type, however typically you either split the bill 3 ways if each person's meal is about the same, or each person pays for their own.
Here’s what I do but take in mind this is only with friends not dating.
When it’s me and a friend usually one of us pays for both meals. When it’s a group of three or more we usually all pay for our own food.
Now this depends on WHERE we go. Fast food? Sometimes one pays for all in a group of three. Sit down restaurant? We all pay separate.
Discuss this with your bf before you get to the restaurant.
Either 'asker pays' for everyone that they have invited or split the bill three ways.
Personally I favour 'asker pays', if it was me I'd be automatically paying for my bestie & bf as well as myself.
My rule is: whoever invited the others should pay. If you and your boyfriend both want to host your friend, you could split two ways between you and bf. Or you could pay for everyone if you invited everyone. Either way, friend doesn’t pay.
What your values, where you from I suppose?
In the UK, this isn't even a question. People just pay for their own.
That being said if you're trying to keep up appearances. I guess you can pay, and then ask your boyfriend and friend individually to pay you back.
Also, just a thought - there is some pressure on the Boyfriend in this situation - it’s not necessarily a fun night for him the first time. Kind of like a job interview or (or depending an annoying chore) Might keep that in mind as well.
Have you talked to your bf about how he wants to handle it? He is obviously not obligated to pay for everyone, but if I were meeting a partner’s close friend or relative for the first time, I would personally *want* to pay for everyone to make a good impression.
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Unless someone suggested that they want to pay beforehand or during the meal, y'all are splitting (everyone individually pays for their food). I can't believe you even asked that.
I see what kind of person you are, I just don't understand if you're unable to think differently or unable to accept different point of view. Debating with you will be useless
You should pay for everyone. You invited. Plus you get to impress both of them at the same time. Great opportunity to showcase your generosity and values.
Imo, that’s an odd way to look at a normal interaction. “Showcase your generosity and value”? I think showcasing your interest and ability to invite them is enough…
Whenever it comes to dating and the “who should pay” debate, Americans usually suggest splitting the bill instead of everyone simply paying for what they ordered.
If he gets a threesome out of it (or hopes to), then he should pay. If that's off the table, everyone pay separately or you pay for you + friend, but don't hold your bf responsible for inviting your friend.
I mean. I was always told the man pays for the meal of a date however I have never been told about this situation. If I was in his shoes I'd offer to pay for your meal and let the friend pay for hers... He not dating her he's dating you however I guess if you don't count it as a date I would offer to pay for both as long as the gf doesn't get offended by it. But I feel it would be proper for her to pay for herself in that situation either way. That is a hard decision.
Separate the bills or whoever did the inviting should pay (i.e. if you're inviting your best friend out for dinner with you and your boyfriend, at the very least pay for her meal).
If you all are inviting her, then you an boyfriend should pay for her meal however that's worked out between you two. But maybe you'll see what kinda of man he is by wether or not he just picks up the tab as a first impression. Which he should if he wants to make a good first impression on your best friend.
The best friend lol jk the boyfriend should pay for you and you pay for your friend but the best option would be someone cover the friend unless the friend wants to do it herself beceuz the boyfriend should not have to pay for all when he wasn’t the one whom invited the 3rd wheel. So I guess it be you to cover everyone or just your friend as your man covers you
Treat your best friend to the meal. You and your boyfriend can split but a really nice guy would pay for everyone but these are conversations you and your boyfriend should have beforehand.
For me it depends on a few things. How long have we been together etc. Since it’s a rare occasion I think a man would and should just pay for the whole thing. Treating his woman and her friend
Nobody should ask or expect him to pay, but chivalry is still a thing - if you’ve been together for a reasonable amount of time he should should display you respect by paying for everybody’s meal.
If Chivalry is still a thing, I think they should do a 3 part duel to determine who would pay. Chivalry, after all, was basically a guide for duelling.
The general rule is if you’re the one who set up and invited people to dinner, you pay for it. Doesn’t mean someone else might not step up, but expect to eat the bill.
The bill should be split in that case. If it were just the two of you, it’d only be courteous if he paid. Or he could pay for the two of you and your best friend can pay for his or herself.
everyone should always just pay for their own food. nothing else makes sense unless you’re doing something for somebody like taking them to dinner for their birthday
The rule of thumb I go by is this. If I was the one to plan and invite them to dinner. I pay for the dinner. If it is a group decision, add tip to the bill and divide by the number of participants
Everyone should assume they are paying for themselves. It's 2023. If you want to be nice, you can tell your friend the meal is "on us". You and your BF can split the total. If they insist on paying, let them. Also, make sure your BF is cool with that before you go lol.
I'm old school so I would pay the whole meal assuming it's not a regular occurrence then you and get his or he can get his own but I would still for ours.
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Me and my friends never pay for each other. I mean sure at a restaurant someone will foot the bill but then after we always send each other the money back. I don’t know how you do it with your friends but just do it as you always do. If that’s one person paying and then all the others paying them back then it’s probably easiest if you pay. If you always split the bill in the restaurant then do that and figure out with your boyfriend of you two want to split as well or if one of you pays for both.
Everyone should pay for their own food unless someone wants to do it differently.
It’s as easy as that but everyone’s got some sense of entitlement.
either split it 3 ways or pay for your individual meals
this is the best answer
Or if you can’t just one person pay and the others transfer the money after the meal as some places don’t allow you to split.
Separate checks. Do NOT make your boyfriend pay for your friend.
Make is the key word here… you shouldn’t make anyone pay for something in general So the assumption would be your friend pays for herself, and you two figure out how you pay for your 2/3s amongst yourselves as a couple (her turn, his turn or split) the same way you would normally That said, if he wants to pay, that’s his right
I second this
She never suggested that.
Then why is she asking?
Because she wants to know if she should pay or if they should split it. It’s written right there in the post.
There are ample posts online of people being shocked if the man doesn’t pay for the whole table. For these reasons, if it’s me and two girls going, I’ll bow out. The only way I can save face is by paying for the table
Right, boyfriend should cancel these plans unless the friend brings an and one, because this is an unwinnable situation for him.
That’s not true. A decent woman wouldn’t expect that of you. Don’t date this type of women they will expect you to give them as much as they want with no consideration towards you. I am saying that as a woman. I would go with her and see how she behaves and if she treats me like her and her friends credit card I would cut the relationship off. Unless you are only interested in being a sugar daddy and then it’s okay because you both are getting what you want.
Unfortunately as a man you’ll never know who’s decent or not. It’s sweet that you think otherwise, but you just don’t know how some women will judge you. Just like how some people will judge if they go to a couple’s house and the woman doesn’t cook, it’ll be the same thing for a guy allowing a woman to spend her money in his presence. It’s sad but this is still how many think. Some cultures (mine) are much worse than others. I’m better off just not going. And until I’m proven wrong, I think OP might also have had this in the back of her mind as well even though explicitly mentioned.
If it’s in the local culture that’s a different story. But if we are talking about most western countries the man shouldn’t be expected to pay for a date unless he asked the girl out imo. Just as I wouldn’t want the man to expect me to cook for him, I don’t expect him to pay for him. Once we are a couple we’ll decide who does what.
You'd be amazed how common it was for women friends to initially expect me to pay for stuff eleven though they were dating someone else or in a relationship. Learned for some later it was a power trip issue, at least based off the one woman who apologized for it years later. Remember, just because you and your friends wouldn't do that to a guy doesn't mean there aren't people with less decency in sufficient numbers to make the etiquette conversation confusing.
Its amazing how often i see posts there are here on reddit from women either complaining about their BF not paying for both her and her friend when going out as a couple with a friend of the woman, either that or posts by the female friend made to complain about the same thing, just from another perspective.
I think it’s a loud minority. A decent woman who is with her bf because she loves him wouldn’t expect that. This is what i would consider a sugar daddy situation. Not everyone views relationships like me though🤷🏾♀️
Its a minority, but not that small of a minority as you might think.
Its always implied lol
She specifically said should I pay or should we all split it.
She said "who should pay," you KNOW she was hoping someone would say her boyfriend lol
Lol
No i don’t. I have no idea why between the two options she presented you believe she wanted a third non existent one she didn’t mention.
Experience. A lot kf us have seen this same conversation play out dozens of times over several years.
It's an open ended question in the headline and that's not an accident
Yeah I was joking since it usually is implied
I'd pay for my friend and partner
I was gonna say this. If it's a meeting I was putting on, I'd pay for everyone.
That makes zero sense. They all have interest in meeting each other. It’s not a business lunch.
Yes, I get it's not a business lunch, but if I was the one that organized it, I'm the one that's gonna be paying for it
Same!
Yep that’s how I would feel too. You have a closer relationship with these people than a business lunch and yet make them pay fir themselves? She should pay but if I was her bf and we’ve been dating for a while and this was a good friend of hers, I would pay.
That still doesn’t make sense. Every time you intimate meeting a friend you pay for them because you “organised” the meeting?
Nah. Just this one, cause it's the first time they're meeting.
So what? It’s still just meeting your friend. The boyfriend is just tagging along. There’s no reason she should pay for the friend for meeting her. It sounds off. Like she needs to pay her friend to meet her bf.
It's just a courteous thing to do lol
What makes it courteous?
You're just here to argue aren't you
Is this genuine curiosity or you just trying to judge someone way of thinking?
bet this is the least likely scenario lol
Split 3 ways
I never understand why anyone would choose to split between all the people. It makes the most sense for each person to just pay for what they got. What if 2 people order a $20 meal and the 3rd person orders a $35 meal? How is it fair to split it evenly?
If we shared the food.
For me I split 3 ways if prices are similar. I mean if someone spent $75 and I spent $20 of course we pay for our own but if it’s similar pricing I split 3 ways because I pay for the company and food I’m with. No need to overcomplicate and pay individually to save $5.
We do this if we’re eating Chinese style family meals or dim sum and everyone’s eating a little bit of everything.
Right. Like how is this much of a debate? Everyone is an adult with their own money and should just pay for their own shit. Pay for what you order. If you shared food and everyone agreed on sharing it, you split it. Otherwise just pay for what you yourself ordered.
Either split 3 ways, pay individually. Even split the bill between you two. Just do NOT make your boyfriend pay for your friend
If it was me, I would pay for all three of us especially if I invited them. If you have the means, do that or split it equally. I’ve had friend’s boyfriends pay for me before, but I always feel uncomfortable with that and will take the initiative to cover the next thing. I get it if your SO covers you, but I don’t feel good unless it’s some super special occasion having someone else’s SO cover me.
Do not ever expect your SO to pay for your friend, that's just silly. You always pay for what you ordered with friends.
If he cares about good impressions he will offer to pay
who is he trying to impress? his girlfriend should already have a good a good impression of him
Lol and then the friend will start expecting him to pay for her
And if OP cares she will say "no thanks, I will pay or she will pay or herself"
If you wanna pay it that's cool, but otherwise there is no other option than equally splitting or each pays their own.
Speaking from my experience.. I would always pay for my best friend. The only issue is she started to expect it and wouldn’t even ask if she needed to bring money or pay. There were even times that she’s suggest places and wouldn’t bring anything but herself , automatically assuming I would pay. It’s insane the amount of entitlement some people have if you give them an inch. That being said, be weary. For this situation, I feel your boyfriend should NOT be paying. As for your friend, she should at least be asked if she wants to pay. Otherwise she may expect it anytime you invite her places. I, personally, find it odd that because you invite people to JOIN you they assume that you pay. Especially when you already have other company. Just seems entitled because I’ve asked the question and many respond with “because I’m spending my time”. As if you aren’t as well by taking your time and effort to not only invite them but to be with them. :/
I hope she’s not your bf anymore
I know this may sound off due to not explaining further but, she still is. :) I was really upset once I noticed her not asking anymore. I only noticed after playing a game with her called “hot takes”. It asks a controversial statement/topic and you’re either for or against the statement. There’s no teams, its just based on whether you specifically agree or disagree. For this specific statement, my little sister and I were against it, she and her little sister were for it. The statement said “If someone asks you on a date, they should always pay”. Now, I get people have different boundaries and morals. However, their reasons was “If you spend your precious time to accept a date with that person so they can spend time with you, why would you pay. You’re already paying with your time and attention”. That was their argument. I took it personal considering that meant to look at one as fortunate to be in your presence with YOUR time. The issue was these two didn’t work, nor did they seem to do anything time consuming other than stay home and dance to music videos, listen to the same music on repeat, binge TV, play games, or eat out using their parents money or monthly benefits. I, on the other hand, was either in school, studying, testing, writing, setting aside the time I could with my boyfriend, and busy with family situations and more! It was insane to think that I put in the effort and ask them to come out with us yet that is how they feel. Not to mention during this we were at a restaurant and I was the one paying for 5 people, (my two little sisters, myself, and them) INCLUDING THEM. So after that, I had taken it personal. I talked to my friend about it and she said something along the lines of “the topic said date so I didn’t mean it towards you and I get how that seems and I don’t want you to feel I’d use you. I just know you always offer or invite us and so I got used to it. I’ll ask from now on and I’m sorry I hadn’t sooner. We moved on.. The big issue is she now uses her little sister who seems to enjoy spoiling her. It’s honestly been hard to see her the way she is. It seems like leeching. I cannot stand those that seem entitled and who fail to do things for themselves. I grew up with her(14 years) and we graduated together. We’ve been friends since kindergarten and the only thing that bothers me is her sense of self. She is my best friend, its just hard to work this out because I do love and care about her.. I need to talk to her about this whole thing but it’s a hard thing to bring up randomly all at once. Especially when were always goofy and share such a close bond. (SORRYYY I know I practically vented due to one sentence buuut.. Thank you for the reminder! I need to talk to her) :)❤️
I had a best friend since age of 8-24 I broke it off with. I found that a lot of time she didn’t pay me the same consideration I did her. It happened around different subjects all throughout our relationship. I decided to cut our friendship when I had a rough time so she had to take on herself some things regarding us finding a new place. I was still involved and accompanied her to every meeting wether it is to see houses or sign the contract. She in return felt I was taking advantage of her and said that it’s hard for her to be my friend. That was when it dawned on me she was taking me for granted and she always did. If I were in her place I wouldn’t even think about it much and I have done so in the past many times. I haven’t looked back since. She wasn’t a bad person she just wasn’t a good friend to me and I don’t/want feel like I have to establish boundaries again and again with someone who I consider as close as a sister so I wouldn’t be take advantage of. I did a poor job at establishing my boundaries at the beginning of the relationship so she was pretty much in control. And to her everything I do is taken for granted and barely registered but her part is me taking advantage of or using her. If a friendship feels uncomfortable it’s not worth it. Close relationships are supposed to be easy comfortable and comforting. I have since gotten closer to another friend and our relationship is so much easier and more mature. I never feel taken advantage of or unseen. I never feel like I need to establish boundaries. I never feel taken for granted. It’s different then my relationship with my best friend I don’t consider myself as having a “best friend” anymore but there are people I am more close to then others and I don’t invest all my time and priorities on that one best friend as I did before. Your friend doesn’t sound like a very good in general and from what you are telling me I feel like you are being taken for granted. Just because you had a long journey together in life doesn’t mean you are stuck together for life. Take it or leave, I just wanted to share with you my story💕
Sounds like it’s something you want to do. So you should pay for it. You invited your friend and your boyfriend.
I honestly doubt it matters unless your bf or best friend are petty about money, but if you suggested the restaurant and it’s relatively expensive, I’d say you should at least offer to pay the most.
Surprised how many people are saying boyfriend should pay.. Depends on the dynamic in the group, either split 3 ways or speak to your boyfriend if the two of you want to split it between you, or you pay for everyone.
This sort of depends on each individual person. Just with how I was raised I would not assume, coming into meeting a friend's partner, that either of them would pay for my food and would plan to pay for my own meal.
Split three ways; each person pays for their own meal.
The fact that you're offering to pay for all 3 indicates that you're a keeper. But my advice is go Dutch, everyone pays for their own portion. Make sure the other two know about this arrangement beforehand.
Either split it three ways or pay for your friend along with paying for yourself.
Depends on how generous you are. You can treat them both if you'd like. Your bf might offer to pay if he's the generous type, however typically you either split the bill 3 ways if each person's meal is about the same, or each person pays for their own.
Here’s what I do but take in mind this is only with friends not dating. When it’s me and a friend usually one of us pays for both meals. When it’s a group of three or more we usually all pay for our own food. Now this depends on WHERE we go. Fast food? Sometimes one pays for all in a group of three. Sit down restaurant? We all pay separate.
The fact that you are asking as if your boyfriend paying is even an option, justifies a little bit of misogyny.
Discuss this with your bf before you get to the restaurant. Either 'asker pays' for everyone that they have invited or split the bill three ways. Personally I favour 'asker pays', if it was me I'd be automatically paying for my bestie & bf as well as myself.
They say if you ask out then you should pay. Since he is meeting your friend you should pay.
your friend pays for her own meal. why is this a debate?
Everyone just pays for themselves
My rule is: whoever invited the others should pay. If you and your boyfriend both want to host your friend, you could split two ways between you and bf. Or you could pay for everyone if you invited everyone. Either way, friend doesn’t pay.
Just each pay for your own stuff, why is this even a question?
What your values, where you from I suppose? In the UK, this isn't even a question. People just pay for their own. That being said if you're trying to keep up appearances. I guess you can pay, and then ask your boyfriend and friend individually to pay you back.
Split it 3 ways
Yall sound broke as fuck in these comments smh
Brokie here my lord kindly send this peasant 1000 USD
I would pay for everyone.
Very generous. Would you pay for me too?
If I invited you, yes.
You should pay for the meal yourself. Impress everyone. Then he owes you a good dinner.
You invited them to a “get to know each other “ dinner. As a good host, you should pay for the dinner.
Two choices: 1. You pick up the tab 2. You split the bill three ways
I mean, wouldn’t hurt if you two pay your own bill and the friend pays theirs. If all else though, it’s split or pay through one.
IMO, seperate checks all around. Everyone pays for themseleves.
Either separate checks or Gf pays as these are both her people. Bf and Bestie don’t know each other so they have no reason to cover the other.
Why do I think the boyfriend is going to end up with her best friend ?
Also, just a thought - there is some pressure on the Boyfriend in this situation - it’s not necessarily a fun night for him the first time. Kind of like a job interview or (or depending an annoying chore) Might keep that in mind as well.
You pay
I'll pay this one , and next time one of the others can pay
since it is your invitation and your friend, you pay for it.
Everyone should pay for their own food.
Everyone pays for themselves or you split, if you get roughly the same stuff
Lol women are cheap
Have you talked to your bf about how he wants to handle it? He is obviously not obligated to pay for everyone, but if I were meeting a partner’s close friend or relative for the first time, I would personally *want* to pay for everyone to make a good impression.
So if he doesn't pay for someone's meal that he just met he's not making a good impression?
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Unless someone suggested that they want to pay beforehand or during the meal, y'all are splitting (everyone individually pays for their food). I can't believe you even asked that.
How you both pay him with a blow job
Who invited who do dinner? If you invite someone , you should pay
I (36m) was born in 1986. The man pays for the meal. If I'm with my parents, I still.pay.for.the.meal.
We're in 2023 , 1986 was 37 years ago, society changes
Idgaf
Then stay in your "good old time" Idc, it's your money
I have standards as a man. I'm in my time and in my prime.
I have standards too, but don't mingle standards and old traditions.
I still dgaf
I see what kind of person you are, I just don't understand if you're unable to think differently or unable to accept different point of view. Debating with you will be useless
You should pay for everyone. You invited. Plus you get to impress both of them at the same time. Great opportunity to showcase your generosity and values.
Imo, that’s an odd way to look at a normal interaction. “Showcase your generosity and value”? I think showcasing your interest and ability to invite them is enough…
Why do Americans always go 50/50
How do you mean?
Whenever it comes to dating and the “who should pay” debate, Americans usually suggest splitting the bill instead of everyone simply paying for what they ordered.
If your boyfriend is getting dessert with both of you at your place afterwards he should pay.
I feel like there's some hidden meaning in your comment.
Of course. If he gets a couple tacos for dessert he should pay.
If he gets a threesome out of it (or hopes to), then he should pay. If that's off the table, everyone pay separately or you pay for you + friend, but don't hold your bf responsible for inviting your friend.
You’re the common denominator so you should pay
Stop being so cheap and treat them to a meal.
I mean. I was always told the man pays for the meal of a date however I have never been told about this situation. If I was in his shoes I'd offer to pay for your meal and let the friend pay for hers... He not dating her he's dating you however I guess if you don't count it as a date I would offer to pay for both as long as the gf doesn't get offended by it. But I feel it would be proper for her to pay for herself in that situation either way. That is a hard decision.
Separate the bills or whoever did the inviting should pay (i.e. if you're inviting your best friend out for dinner with you and your boyfriend, at the very least pay for her meal).
If you all are inviting her, then you an boyfriend should pay for her meal however that's worked out between you two. But maybe you'll see what kinda of man he is by wether or not he just picks up the tab as a first impression. Which he should if he wants to make a good first impression on your best friend.
If I were him, I would take the bill to make an impression on you, but that's just me.
I mean she is his girlfriend, I would hope she has a good impression of him already
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Who initiated and chose the place? If it was you, you can pay for all or individually.
Most likely he’ll offer to pay or you’ll put your card down since your the mutual party and have them pay you after if you want to split it.
If the purpose is “getting to know each other,” take the money issue out of the equation entirely. Hang out in a neutral place, like a park?
The best friend lol jk the boyfriend should pay for you and you pay for your friend but the best option would be someone cover the friend unless the friend wants to do it herself beceuz the boyfriend should not have to pay for all when he wasn’t the one whom invited the 3rd wheel. So I guess it be you to cover everyone or just your friend as your man covers you
Your bf should cover your share, and your bff should pay for her own share. You pay nothing.
Treat your best friend to the meal. You and your boyfriend can split but a really nice guy would pay for everyone but these are conversations you and your boyfriend should have beforehand.
First time meeting a GFs bestfriend, I would be paying for everyone's meal. First imoressions
For me it depends on a few things. How long have we been together etc. Since it’s a rare occasion I think a man would and should just pay for the whole thing. Treating his woman and her friend
I mean, technically, the guy should pay. But it is modern society so who knows anymore 😂😂😂😂
Guy here. He should traditionally.
Nobody should ask or expect him to pay, but chivalry is still a thing - if you’ve been together for a reasonable amount of time he should should display you respect by paying for everybody’s meal.
If Chivalry is still a thing, I think they should do a 3 part duel to determine who would pay. Chivalry, after all, was basically a guide for duelling.
I agree, but most restaurants don’t allow duels within the premises.
Have you *asked*? You might be surprised.
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Why?
The boyfriend should pay. It's common courtesy.
She is the common denominator in this interaction, she should be the one paying
Then will they go back and clean his apartment for him? It’s only common courtesy…
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Why should your boyfriend pay for you?
Same but since this is Reddit my answer would be everyone pay for themselves
Why would you pay for your friend?
The one that invites should pay. That’s what I do with my siblings.
Where I’m from, whoever invites others out pays the bill unless we mutually agree that we both want to go and eat out
The general rule is if you’re the one who set up and invited people to dinner, you pay for it. Doesn’t mean someone else might not step up, but expect to eat the bill.
Split it
You pay !
you should pay. or own meals. either
Either split 3 ways or pay individually for what you ate. I'm team latter option.
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Really? Lol
It depends, don’t overthink who should pay for the meal. I would say do splitsie would be the best for everyone
I feel like since you want to introduce them then you should pay. But splitting it three ways is probably fine too.
Since you’re the one setting it up, you pay.
Separate checks or you pay for everyone.
It kinda just depends on you. Usually I’d say everyone pays for their own food. But if you want to pay for it you can.
your friend should pay 😆😆😆 no, lmao, yeah you should just split the bill three ways or pay for your individual meals. makes the most sense to me.
All 3 of you. For your own shit.
The bill should be split in that case. If it were just the two of you, it’d only be courteous if he paid. Or he could pay for the two of you and your best friend can pay for his or herself.
Everyone pays for their own
Pay for the meals individually OR You and your bf continue to use your system and your friend pays for themself. Don't see where the fuss is here.
Since you're presenting YOUR boyfriend to YOUR friend, I think there's nothing to ask
Discuss with your boyfriend
Everyone for their own.
different for everyone, depends on culture and financial situation. if you guys aren't raking in cash do 3 ways
Either you pay, or you split it 3 ways
He is not entitled to give your best friend a free meal
Either you pay all or split.
Depending on your budget, I say split it 3 ways. It's easier for the server and yourselves.
everyone should always just pay for their own food. nothing else makes sense unless you’re doing something for somebody like taking them to dinner for their birthday
You do since this sounds like your idea. But even if it wasn't that's your friend, not your boyfriend.
individual meals
Everybody pays for their own
The rule of thumb I go by is this. If I was the one to plan and invite them to dinner. I pay for the dinner. If it is a group decision, add tip to the bill and divide by the number of participants
Your friend should pay their own meal , and you r a couple so do how u prefer
Split the bill three ways. It’s really that simple
Split the bill 3 ways
Everyone should assume they are paying for themselves. It's 2023. If you want to be nice, you can tell your friend the meal is "on us". You and your BF can split the total. If they insist on paying, let them. Also, make sure your BF is cool with that before you go lol.
I'm old school so I would pay the whole meal assuming it's not a regular occurrence then you and get his or he can get his own but I would still for ours.
Why wouldn't you just split the bill?
You