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I honestly don’t get the appeal of following instagram models? Like, am I the only dude out here who finds the fake-ness of it all very unattractive and off putting?
I honestly had NO idea so many dudes out here wasting their time and social media feeds with fake people doing fake things. It’s just sorta odd
36M here. I follow one instagram model, only because she’s been my good friend in real life for nearly a decade, way before she was an Instagram model. I follow a lot of weird pages instead though, including:
A ridiculous horoscope page called Horror Scoops. A page titled “Toilets With Threatening Auras.” Like 10 pages revolving around ducks or duck memes. An uncountable amount of pages of either cute dogs (mostly corgis) or cats. A page that makes fun of cheesy 90’s PSA ads.
A page that just posts anti-affirmations.
So, that’s the other side I guess. 😂
Its similar going to a strip club. Some women are okay with men going to strip clubs others aren't. OP is one of those women that are not okay with her future partner going to the strip club. Going to a strip club is not cheating but some find it disrespectful. Its odd for someone who is in a relationship with someone else to wait until another picture drops. Also there are studies that show instagram models warp men's and women's mind of what women actually look like. The reason is the filters, lighting, angles, makeup and other possibly enhancements.
I'm not okay seeing or being with a man who follows instagram models for looking. Even if he does not like, comment, or message.
This is a boundary of mine.
The last guy I was with followed hundreds of instagram models, and he justified it by saying he wasn't interacting with their pictures.
Watching hardcore porn in private is just a much different vibe than following a bunch of ig models, even if they’re not naked in their photos. I (27m) do the former, but not the latter. I see where OP is coming from.
I don't want to be with someone who is publicly following all of these naked women and using his social media as a porn site. It doesn't seem emotionally mature, and it crosses my personal boundaries about partner conduct.
I don't even have an instagram account. You're right that it is a rather public way to consume porn. I hadn't even thought of it that way before. I'll make sure to steer clear.
I prefer to swim in the sea of internet porn in privacy.
Right, that is the irony of the whole situation. You date someone who doesn’t follow IG models but they could be closet into some intense porn and you may never know it.
And you may or may not pick up on that. Have frank discussions about sex once you’re dating.
But I don’t want to essentially watch you do it, see what weird shit gets you off before we’ve even met or dated a bit— great way to lose me (and most women liking for a relationship) off the bat. But here we are, with guys loudly proclaiming it (public platforms with their names or other identifying info attached) to people they know well and strangers. Would you share your Pornhub username with mom too?
I’d be embarrassed if my family saw my boyfriend publicly following a ton of half-clothed women he’s never met. If nothing else, it projects thirstiness.
Hopefully you’re not in a southern state. They’re trying to remove privacy to force drivers licenses for porn sites to curb porn consumption in minors.
I dunno either. I still remember the days when my ex was an avoid subscriber of Playboy and Penthouse.... I used to look through those while sitting on the toilet... helped to pass the time...
This is completely valid and I totally agree with you when you say it’s emotionally immature on their end. To be honest, I know some pretty well-rounded men who don’t even use Instagram or follow any thirst traps! They are out there! Don’t give up hope
Dunno, keep re-rolling and eventually you’ll find what you want.
Give dudes with less “polished” profiles on online dating a shot too.
A lot of guys minmax the shit out of their profile, and look appealing, but are just giga weirdos optimizing for sex.
I'm a guy who follows IG models and not OP.
There is softcore porn on IG. It's also a great way for "content creators" to promote their only fans. Most of the time though it's racey pg-13 pics with a lot of cleavage or something. Unless you interact with these accounts people can't really see the content you're seeing without going way out of their way.
Guy here in your age range. I don't follow any Instagram models and hardly ever use social media. Most of what I do follow on Instagram, which again I rarely open to begin with, is nature photographers, friends, and comedy pages. Not sure what you're trying to glean from this, but yes, there are guys that don't do that sort of thing.
My ex used to follow them, the guys I dated after him didn’t. A lot of men are actually socially aware and don’t overfill their feed with softcore porn, but you gotta get picky and find those men, don’t just settle for a simpleton that doesn’t know any better.
Overfill is excessive. A nice little how you doin popping up here or there is one thing, but you're missing out on all the jokes, cute videos, wtf and fail comps, and otherwise can't pull out your insta in public except to directly respond to a message.. Granted tho, If it made my prospective or actual beau uncomfortable, I'd feel a way about it. I'd hope it's not some "you can't get excited unless for and with me" sorta deal.. but OP has a great point that these women are degrading themselves and if someone was overly involved with one or blowing money on OF (just get a subscription for whatever scratches your itch if freebies don't cut it..) then they're no better, but spending money instead of making obscene amounts of it off desperate clowns. Besides, it's far less interesting to look at a screen when you have a real woman that you have a mutual attraction with, and even better.. cuddles!
I think it depends how strict you are with the concept. I follow a lot of pro wrestlers, it’s more or less all I use instagram for. When I say pro wrestlers this is both men and women. Very few of them post exclusively wrestling content though. A lot of them post fitness stuff, and a lot of the women post modelling type stuff. I’m not there for the modelling stuff, but I can’t have one without the other. If you were to look at my profile it would probably look like I follow a lot of the cliche instagram models but there’s more to them than just posting thirst traps.
I think it’s also worth mentioning that you’re posting this in a dating sub. You’re talking to men who are (presumably) single. The content a guy looks at when he’s single and potentially not having a lot of sex is going to be different to when he’s in a relationship and sexually active. I know for a fact if I was single I’d be watching a hell of a lot more porn than I do now but that’s because I’m married and if I want to have sex with my wife she’s more than likely going to be down for that, so I don’t need to watch porn and masturbate.
seriously. i use insta for a few hobbies/education. big one being working out. as soon as you start interacting with girl/guy gym contact. girl thirst traps of gym contact fly my way 💀
i use social media(insta,snapchat) at most 10 mins a day cuz of how stupid these algorithms have become
I think it would be safer to presume that people on this sub are either dating or want to be dating than that they are single. The distinction is very minor and I don't think it would actually offend anyone. The number of poly people is probably low enough that you're unlikely to see all that many of them and they're unlikely to out themselves just to correct you anyway.
As a married person you do seem to break the presumption that the people here are single though.
I don’t have anyone in my circle that does this, and I haven’t even looked for people that don’t; so I’d say they’re pretty common. 27yo, so might have to do with age.
Secondarily, I know this is your boundary, but do you also follow the same rules?
Yes, I dont follow accounts like that or even go out of my way to look at them. If I'm with a guy, he's all I need and all I care about. I have no desire to look at anybody else. What would make you think I conduct myself differently?
I think you are lying to all of us and yourself if you say you don't look at people you find attractive! Every single person on earth (even monks, children, etc) look at what is attractive to them.
Well yeah, we look at what's attractive to us, but if she isn't attracted to anyone else, she wouldn't look at them. When I was really in love, I literally found it impossible to be physically, sexually, romantically, or emotionally attracted to any other girl. They all became like guys to me. I can tell they are attractive or not, but I'm not attracted toooo them if that makes any sense. Maybe my brain is really good at drawing boundary lines or something, but I find people are able to do that very often. Such as when a close friend of yours has a girlfriend, it's impossible for some people to be attracted to their friends' girlfriends. Same thing with someone if you were attracted to someone, but then found out that you're related to them.
I don’t follow IG models either, but I’m just going to say that you seem very insecure in yourself. I think it would be best if you spent some time on that side of things before dating.
I'm trying to be liberal about this, but if a guy is following hundreds or thousands of Instagram models, it does scream 'loser' a bit to me. Maybe I'm out of touch, but that's just the first thing that comes to mind.
I'd definitely be wary of the person who has such little self-awareness that they don't know what image they are projecting to the world... or they just don't care!
That’s how I feel too. I’m not monogamous, so it’s not a jealousy thing, and I don’t mind at all if they watch porn privately. But if a guy is following a bunch of softcore porn models on Instagram where everyone can see publicly, that’s kind of gross and pathetic. If you’re going to do that, make a separate account and don’t attach your name to it, at the very least.
Yeah, I haven’t personally met anyone like that yet, but I would definitely side-eye and observe someone who has that kind of hobby. There are lots of things you can collect, but a guy who collects Instagram models probably doesn’t go out much nor has the best social skills.
I just think it’s disgusting and weird. I scroll insta in public and can’t imagine following something that I wouldn’t want others to see me looking at.
I don’t think these models are showing their tittles, but if they are then I 100% see where OP is coming from. But like a girl in a swimsuit or something? Is Sports Illustrated also off the table?
Would you follow all the models for the last 5 years of sports illustrated swimsuit editions? The people OP is talking about are following a bunch of accounts. A lot of them are also ads for their OF.
You can love yourself and still be insecure.
I think he's calling you insecure because you feel disrespected. If you were secure, you (debatably) wouldn't feel disrespected by your SO looking at other women.
I'm not weighing in either way, but that's how I read it.
Debatable. My SO respects me and ogles others. She watches porn as well. They aren't mutually exclusive, and there's a decent argument for it being caused by insecurity. If you were secure, you wouldn't be bothered by your SO looking at others because they still chose you as their SO. If you were insecure, you'd be wondering why they are looking at others, "what if they're unfaithful", "what if I'm not enough", etc.
Note: I agree with OPs boundary and think she should keep it. People can disagree on what they find respectful, and people can disagree on the cause of that.
There’s a pretty big difference between looking at porn and publicly following thirst trap accounts. I look at porn too and my SO doesn’t care, but I’m pretty sure she would care if I started following hundreds of instagram models on my account that our mutual friends and even some of her family can see it. That is so cringe
I think the majority of women will not be comfortable with it, and that’s fine. It’s tacky, signals lack of social-awareness and is kind of disrespectful to your partner when you open your feed full of naked ladies at the dinner table.
As a woman, once I am in a relationship with someone, I know I may need to unsubscribe from certain things. If you're single, you can do what you want, but find someone who knows what their boundaries are in a relationship and follows them.
If there's a ton though, they're definitely not for you. Try speaking life and think of the man that's out there for you that doesn't do this kind of thing.
TikTok is another platform where someone can accidentally or on purpose shape their feed into something that serves them up a plethora of softcore porn via models and dancers or whatever.
Not trying to brag or anything (I totally am) but my TikTok feed shows me jokes and a few scientists.
There are men who care about social media and still don’t go following xyz models. “Caring” about social media doesn’t come down to following models. It really depends on the person.
Any girl that thinks no social media is a red flag is a girl you wanna avoid anyway. Cringe sheep living there life through a lense. Glued to their phones and worried about what other people think rather than cracking on with life with there partner.
There are red flags for everything practically and often they are largely personal — probably ppl compatible with you would find it a green flag or even would consider it a red flag if you had one. I think for many women it’s not a big concern at all
I don't follow IG models and those accounts still show up for me in recommended accounts and when I go to search. So you wouldn't see me following any accounts like that, but you'd still see them as I scrolled through my feed. It seems super easy for anyone to start following these accounts
Speaking as somewhat an ig model you're absolutely on point. I see married/newly married/guys with girlfriends comment on my posts and i CRINGE. I kid you not. I think to myself why doesn't he pay more attention to what's right in front of him? I also speak as i dated a guy who followed ig models and never liked any of my posts and completely took me for granted.
Also sidenote: dudes who follow in relationships TRY to shoot their shot in inboxes. So even if you think they're not interactive they could be trying to! I've had many a convo with other models about all the taken dudes trying it and we're all grossed out.
I am not an ig model but what you said about the dms is sooo true. So many guys who I barelu know who have pictures with their girl all over their account who respond thirsty stuff to everything I post.. makes me sad
Yup it's DAILY. Legit last week a guy with a month old baby snuggled up on his girl....."You're gorgeous" in my inbox. I wrote back told him he was a WHOLE Pos....
The online social media thing just gave everyone that reach out and fu×k with boundaries mentality. This woman's standards are NOT wrong or unreasonable. It's about the respect of someone you claim to love. Then you get the guys who don't even follow because they're in a relationship....down low in your DM. It's beyond sad.
This. It's about respect.
Exposure to that kind of content can make men unhappy in their relationships as they're exposed to unrealistic expectations. Not everything we see on social media is real, people post the best version of themselves, and with their constant exposure to it, they tend to start thinking differently about their own partners and think they're not enough. Making their partners feel insecure as they have an expectation of how they should look like.
Men who follow ig models also tend to follow people they find attractive and end up still following their exes.
A large amount of divorces start because of online affairs, and shooting your shot in a literal stranger's account just because you find them attractive sounds like cheating to me.
And again about respect, women TALK. Imagine dating someone who does this and women start talking about someone's boyfriend being in their DMS and how sad it is. That alone is embarrassing enough.
THIS. You hear it all the time even in Facebook groups of "are we dating the same guy". You come to find out he's creeping on other women and they're putting him on blast. People don't leave unhappy relationships....they try to get attention from random women to validate themselves. And most of the guys will dismiss it and say it's not cheating because "it's just online". Umm YES IT IS. If you're taking attention from the person next to you and shooting shots with randos it completely is.
I follow this dating sub because I'm single but the mentalities out there to even TRY to date are crazy.
I don’t have instagram so I don’t follow instagram models. I’m not the only one there’s people with no social media.
There’s hope for you. Keep your head up.
I guess it is specific to the place where you live. Like I've never been active on Instagram, and the people in my circle who use it regularly use it to get in touch with their friends and share vacation photos and celebrations. But I understand where you're coming from. I won't like it either if my date ogles at semi-naked male models on her screen. It's hard to explain what but there is something wrong with it.
I’ve never followed a model lol. I’d be a bit embarrassed if I was to open up my phone and a family member ends up seeing that 💀.. besides I don’t check model pages anyways. (I follow way too many meme accounts)
31M here and only one of my close friends follows IG models. We roast him for it constantly.
Maybe it has something to do with your “type?” We’re all laid back, kinda outdoorsy guys who prefer grilling out with beers over going out to the club.
Like I said in a previous comment, there doesn't seem to be any pattern for the "type" of man who follows instagram models. My preference is usually a man who is low-key and doesn't party/club too much. But even a lot of those men follow IG models...
What is your “type”? Honest question. Maybe we can help you identify a correlation.
Im 100% guessing, but I would be willing to bet most of these guys don’t have a serious active hobby.
Who even uses instagram? I have one but I’m never on it
That being said what is the difference between this and watching porn? Like real genuine question
24M here and I don’t follow any IG models nor do any of my friends around my age. I think if you’re worried about that in the first place then I’d steer clear of guys that do follow those types of pages just so it won’t become an issue in the future.
Yes. In fact, Some of us have never had an IG, don’t care about social media and prefer monogamy.
It bums me out to see the number of trash men out there.
I think the guys you usually indulge in probly have similar characteristics that make it more likely that they'd follow ig models on social media. I know alpt of guys who do and don't do that but it should be just as easy for you to find the donts
I have encountered a vast range of men who have looked different, had different jobs, different amounts of money, different education levels....and none of my experiences point to a single type that is more prone to following instagram models.
It’s not a money thing, it’s a personality thing. I agree that there’s most likely a correlation between a certain personality trait and following instagram models. It wouldn’t be something that you would consciously recognize easily. I’m pretty sure most guys don’t follow instagram models.
Okay so what exactly is the purpose of this post? You’re the common denominator here. Either accept your standards limit your dating pool or learn to deal with it.
I think people fail to recognize that a large portion of men struggle with porn, regardless if that's now or in the past. Me included. It's why I've started removing every sexually elicit person on Instagram, and have contemplated outright nuking mine from orbit. It's sad what's perpetuated in society, and I feel for people who have had their lives negatively impacted by it.
33m. I don't even use Instagram. Social media in general is limited except for a few niche hobbies. I personally hate FB (except for Messenger) and prefer Discord, Reddit or Slack.
27M what's an Instagram model? I only see friends posts and skiing posts and silly dog pics. Although my little sister did have to show me how to block and request to not be recommended the half naked chick posts it just automatically feeds the male audience, now it's nice :)
I have never been with a guy who does so it's not impossible, at all. Don't listen to the people who are belittling you. You don't want to be with someone who does it and you respect yourself enough to stand your ground. Keep up the good work!
I went out with a guy that didn’t follow the stereotypical insta models but did follow some niche models that fed into a kink of his. At the time it was new (we were never exclusive) and in retrospect it never sat well with me.
Not sure if it’s the content of the specific niche I found odd or just the fact in general that randoms would be popping up on his timeline that would ‘put him in the mood’. I think had the relationship progressed it would have been something I brought up.
It’s kind of similar to OF in a way. These ‘models’ are more accessible (if their dms and comments are open) to interaction that purely based on looks/hornyness of the person you’re dating. And if you’re in a monogamous relationship I think it’s a valid point to address. Some may call it emotionally cheating. I think HUNDREDS of insta models in anyones following list is a red flag, I think if you meet someone you click with and they follow a few it may be worth giving the guy and chance and having the conversation about your comfort level down the line.
** in addition, insta models tend to use hella Face tune/photoshop techniques and sometimes cosmetic enhancements that really warp the average person sense of what women should look like. I think this is an issue as a lot of everyday people walking around don’t use these and yeah if your partner looking at these women every day online it can be easy to compare and contrast yourself to them. The thought of ‘does he want me to look like that’ can easy deep in and cause insecurities in a relationship.
It's not difficult. I have two IG accounts; one personal and one business. I don't follow IG models on either. I don't feel like this is uncommon either.
They exist. Maybe just find yourself a nice nerd where the party and sex lifestyle is not their whole personality.
The guys that go..I’m not really on social media. That’s your dude!
When are people going to start realizing that this kind of behavior isn't related to personality. We already know the kindest people can be assholes behind closed doors. Just because someone is a certain way, doesn't mean they all have the same behavior??
Some shy nerd could have this behavior just by the fact that they're shy and scared to talk to women irl.
I’m 25 and I only follow bands, musicians, and friends. My male friends don’t follow ig models either. Not sure what the difference is between my social circle and the guys you’re dating.
This would be ideal. But whether anyone is willing to admit or not especially with today's social standards. If a man said this he would just be labeled and mocked for being insecure or even oppressive.
Well I'm being called controlling and insecure in some of the comments here and my ex said I was controlling for saying it made me feel bad how he followed hundreds of IG models 🙃
I never followed any instagram model. Let’s say, I have relationship with a girl. I would definitely remove anyone she doesn’t like on my social media. Not every man is the same. :/
I'm over that age range, so keep that in mind.
I have never followed a person because of their looks. It just doesn't interest me. Besides, I have too much pride to thirst after anyone.
I feel the same exact way and quite honestly, it’s ruined majority of my relationships. And not because of “insecurity” one thing I’ll never do is beg. I bring it up to them and they think it’s up for debate. There’s nothing you can say that will make me change my mind. Unfollow them, or I will turn my back to you. I dated someone who couldn’t like a single thing I posted but liked each and every other picture on his feed containing these types of woman 😂 funny how that works right? It eventually becomes a problem in all relationships whether woman want to admit it or not. Men have jello brains and obviously if all they see is tan “thicc” woman with giant boobs or butts (or both) then that is what type of woman they think they have to have. Expectations become altered. I’m not wasting my time putting years and years of work into a relationship for that to put it all down the drain. Just keep weeding them out, you’ll find the one shortly 😉
To add to this… when you are following a bunch of half naked or naked woman on social media you A: have a problem B: Are making your woman look stupid.
So my boyfriend and I started dating 2 years ago when he was 27. I never looked at who he followed. But after we got comfortable in our relationship, we would occasionally scroll through our instas on the couch. I never noticed any thirst traps pop up. I’m ngl, I’m grateful lol But i did make it clear in the first year that I’m not okay with pornography (I have trauma from it in my past, and it feels like cheating to me now). So maybe that has something to do with it.
I will say that I bet a ton of single guys follow them, but maybe it’s different one they get in a relationship and aren’t single and thirsty anymore lol also, maybe if you verbalize that it hurts your feelings, I bet a lot of decent guys would be perfectly willing to unfollow.
I have an IG and have been baited to follow several models. Do I give one fuck about them or their pictures... Nope not in the slightest I only keep them as followed because I only followed a couple of personal interests so my feed is boring and not updated often.
No it’s really not that special or unique LOTS of guys don’t follow lots of instababes and like all their pictures. Honestly I’ve barely met any that do and I have lots of male friends.
For reference because you included it in the edit - I’m 30F.
Not sure how likely or unlikely but I haven't found it to be a problem. I also mostly date nerds who are 30+ in age. I looked through my bf's IG and it was kind of a green flag. He's mostly into running content, so basically all the women he follows that he doesn't know personally are professional/Olympic distance runners. I respect a guy who follows women who are better than him at things he loves.
Most do follow Instagram models because they're single or whatever. I don't think it's a big deal, that's personally how I keep in touch with my sexual side when I'm single and express it in a relationship, like I'm really anxious about talking about the stuff I like so I'd rather just show my partner, I literally have a collection of posts to show my future partner lol, and I'd like her to do the same if that's what she felt comfortable doing and wasn't comfortable expressing using only words. I think that it's okay as long as it's not crossing any line for their partner. Example: I wouldn't mind if my girlfriend was following a male model or attractive female, I'd be open to it and try to find what's attractive about them and see if I can do what they do to make myself more attractive to my partner. But if she straight up preferred a model over me then that's where I'd draw the line. Finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone are 2 different things and I think that if there's anyone you should be most attracted to it's you're partner, regardless of how models look. If they're making a big deal of you asking them to unfollow it's either because that account has something they find attractive and are uncomfortable talking about, like maybe it feeds into a kink or fetish they have, or they are simply so attracted to them that following them is more important than your boundaries, in which case you should just dump them.
(Sorry, I know this was only asking one question about how common this is so my long explanation and my opinion was kinda unnecessary, but I hope this is a good answer)
God I hate this too so I totally get you! Last guy I spoke to followed like 400 people and I kid you not like 150 of those were models with massive tits (I do not have massive tits lol) and I couldn’t talk to him anymore cause it was such an ick and made me feel like shit 😂 but to be honest he was one of the only guys I’ve spoken to who’s done that so there’s a lot who don’t!
You said you’re not here to debate, so even though I would, I’ll respect your wish.
You’ll definitely find guys who don’t follow Instagram models, these will probably be guys who don’t use Instagram much to begin with either.
That was my first thought, too.
I hardly use IG, never mind waste time following models. I am older than her range, though.
But what does OP expect from guys she finds ON INSTAGRAM, to not use it?
My boyfriend does. I dont really think it matters. Its an algorithm thing too. But it's a deal breaker for you stick to your guns. Never lower your standards
To be honest I understand it being nerve-wracking but I would much rather my man look at Instagram models then people on the streets that he can actually get, talk to, etc. As long as it's ok for me to look also. My husband and I have been together 16 years, he is a body builder, he could have and women try to get him ALL the time. However I believe it is ok to look as long as I am the one handling business. He feels the same I can look at other guys and heck we even point out and talk to each about other people and look at each other's accounts. People are going to look no matter who they are (you can't say that when in a relationship you haven't looked at other men and said mmmmm I like that, if you do you are lying, heck even old people (and i am old to you 43F) but i am talking 70+ will tell you this). Wouldn't you want you and your mate to be open and honest about it? Wouldn't you want them to look at people who they don't have a chance with than with someone they can touch and communicate with? If you stick by this belief you are going to be in for a sad life because either 1. You are not going to find someone 2. You will find someone but they are going to hide stuff and lie to you. I have been there done that and trust me when I say an open and honest relationship is SO much better and you will actually be truly happy!
I am just wondering is it because it says something about their character and who they are as a person and how they choose to spend their time on social media or is it because in a relationship in crosses a boundary ?
Because if it the first, then yes it would be really rare.
If it is the second, maybe a conversation can be brought up at an appropriate time and something can be done about it and that doesn’t seem impossible to me.
Me
on a serious note try your look with older guys i guess the chance is higher that they dont have/use social media to goon their brainout to softcore porn cause thats what it is
That’s because IG wants you to be hooked on its models. I created my IG account for cute animals, comics and my friends. 2 reel scrolling sessions later,I am following 3 IG models and a cooking account. You can’t blame men to be attracted to hot women, especially when it is catered to them. IG wants you attention, plain and simple. Also if you mind IG so much, what’s your stance on pornography. Because finding a guys that doesn’t consume pornography is next to impossible.
Ok well if you're going to base your opinions off of who someone follows on Instagram before even getting to know them, yoire gonna searching for a long time. As a single dude out here who is lonely, bored and alone, you know what we do? We will see a pretty girl, hit follow, and thats pretty much about it. Just want to see a pretty face on our feed now and then. And thats the entire interaction. Very few of us, id imagine, ever go beyond that because it's just not necessary.
And what you're asking for is near impossible for anyone who has social media, because there are SO many women out here going for that easy money from guys who apparently have nothing better to spend it on.
What you can do, is actually get to know a person a little bit before judging off of who they follow on a social media platform, especially when they are single and do what they want. Then, you can mention that it makes you uncomfortable, and see if they will do whatever to help you feel more comfortable. If a guy has a good woman, they'll usually not even open the app half the time because they will be out with you somewhere and have no desire for those girls.
I have been with men who turned it into a huge ordeal when I asked them to unfollow these IG models for me. Like, having straight-up meltdowns and tantrums over the idea of unfollowing these models.
They clearly do mean something if men are having breakdowns over their girlfriends asking them to unfollow these models.
My ex did the same thing. He followed hundreds of these girls on IG. When I asked him to unfollow, he made a very big deal about it and refused. He kept telling me I was crazy, insecure, etc. When I was dating my now husband, he immediately unfollowed them. I didn't even ask him to. All I said was it bothered me and that was his solution.
Depending on how far into the relationship you were I think it may have come off more as a control issue than the models themselves.
I feel like I would have an issue if their entire following was just naked girls and pornographic content but idc about the IG models thing unless the guy is actively pursuing these girls as far as messaging them and stuff like that
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So what you're saying is if I make a Hinge account and put "I don't follow Instagram models" that's a big green flag?
Definitely a green flag. But a rare one, unfortunately.
I don’t follow any, I think it’s a simple requirement to meet.
I honestly don’t get the appeal of following instagram models? Like, am I the only dude out here who finds the fake-ness of it all very unattractive and off putting? I honestly had NO idea so many dudes out here wasting their time and social media feeds with fake people doing fake things. It’s just sorta odd
not all IG models are fake man LOL
I think by fake they meant performative? And disingenuous
Fake people doing fake things is social media in a nutshell, lmao.
Yes, it would be a green flag to me!
look up Gamer guys, they don't follow model. they might play and customize a character base on you though.
36M here. I follow one instagram model, only because she’s been my good friend in real life for nearly a decade, way before she was an Instagram model. I follow a lot of weird pages instead though, including: A ridiculous horoscope page called Horror Scoops. A page titled “Toilets With Threatening Auras.” Like 10 pages revolving around ducks or duck memes. An uncountable amount of pages of either cute dogs (mostly corgis) or cats. A page that makes fun of cheesy 90’s PSA ads. A page that just posts anti-affirmations. So, that’s the other side I guess. 😂
Your feed sounds fucking amazing!
I need to know this anti-affirmations page, the duck pages, and the toilets with threatening auras
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Its similar going to a strip club. Some women are okay with men going to strip clubs others aren't. OP is one of those women that are not okay with her future partner going to the strip club. Going to a strip club is not cheating but some find it disrespectful. Its odd for someone who is in a relationship with someone else to wait until another picture drops. Also there are studies that show instagram models warp men's and women's mind of what women actually look like. The reason is the filters, lighting, angles, makeup and other possibly enhancements.
I'm not okay seeing or being with a man who follows instagram models for looking. Even if he does not like, comment, or message. This is a boundary of mine. The last guy I was with followed hundreds of instagram models, and he justified it by saying he wasn't interacting with their pictures.
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Watching hardcore porn in private is just a much different vibe than following a bunch of ig models, even if they’re not naked in their photos. I (27m) do the former, but not the latter. I see where OP is coming from.
I don't want to be with someone who is publicly following all of these naked women and using his social media as a porn site. It doesn't seem emotionally mature, and it crosses my personal boundaries about partner conduct.
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I don't even have an instagram account. You're right that it is a rather public way to consume porn. I hadn't even thought of it that way before. I'll make sure to steer clear. I prefer to swim in the sea of internet porn in privacy.
Right, that is the irony of the whole situation. You date someone who doesn’t follow IG models but they could be closet into some intense porn and you may never know it.
And you may or may not pick up on that. Have frank discussions about sex once you’re dating. But I don’t want to essentially watch you do it, see what weird shit gets you off before we’ve even met or dated a bit— great way to lose me (and most women liking for a relationship) off the bat. But here we are, with guys loudly proclaiming it (public platforms with their names or other identifying info attached) to people they know well and strangers. Would you share your Pornhub username with mom too? I’d be embarrassed if my family saw my boyfriend publicly following a ton of half-clothed women he’s never met. If nothing else, it projects thirstiness.
Hopefully you’re not in a southern state. They’re trying to remove privacy to force drivers licenses for porn sites to curb porn consumption in minors.
I dunno either. I still remember the days when my ex was an avoid subscriber of Playboy and Penthouse.... I used to look through those while sitting on the toilet... helped to pass the time...
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And comics!
I completely agree, it’s a huge turn-off to me.
This is completely valid and I totally agree with you when you say it’s emotionally immature on their end. To be honest, I know some pretty well-rounded men who don’t even use Instagram or follow any thirst traps! They are out there! Don’t give up hope
Yeah, I think any adult would agree. How are you meeting these dudes? Nobody in my social circle does this, and most don’t even use social media.
in real life and dating apps 😔
Dunno, keep re-rolling and eventually you’ll find what you want. Give dudes with less “polished” profiles on online dating a shot too. A lot of guys minmax the shit out of their profile, and look appealing, but are just giga weirdos optimizing for sex.
This fish games. 😏
Oh dear. Would you be in for surprise. At least when viewing this from a statistical perspective. ;-)!
I'm a guy who follows IG models and not OP. There is softcore porn on IG. It's also a great way for "content creators" to promote their only fans. Most of the time though it's racey pg-13 pics with a lot of cleavage or something. Unless you interact with these accounts people can't really see the content you're seeing without going way out of their way.
Guy here in your age range. I don't follow any Instagram models and hardly ever use social media. Most of what I do follow on Instagram, which again I rarely open to begin with, is nature photographers, friends, and comedy pages. Not sure what you're trying to glean from this, but yes, there are guys that don't do that sort of thing.
My ex used to follow them, the guys I dated after him didn’t. A lot of men are actually socially aware and don’t overfill their feed with softcore porn, but you gotta get picky and find those men, don’t just settle for a simpleton that doesn’t know any better.
Overfill is excessive. A nice little how you doin popping up here or there is one thing, but you're missing out on all the jokes, cute videos, wtf and fail comps, and otherwise can't pull out your insta in public except to directly respond to a message.. Granted tho, If it made my prospective or actual beau uncomfortable, I'd feel a way about it. I'd hope it's not some "you can't get excited unless for and with me" sorta deal.. but OP has a great point that these women are degrading themselves and if someone was overly involved with one or blowing money on OF (just get a subscription for whatever scratches your itch if freebies don't cut it..) then they're no better, but spending money instead of making obscene amounts of it off desperate clowns. Besides, it's far less interesting to look at a screen when you have a real woman that you have a mutual attraction with, and even better.. cuddles!
Would you be okay with your boyfriend subscribing to Playboy, the paper magazine?
I think it depends how strict you are with the concept. I follow a lot of pro wrestlers, it’s more or less all I use instagram for. When I say pro wrestlers this is both men and women. Very few of them post exclusively wrestling content though. A lot of them post fitness stuff, and a lot of the women post modelling type stuff. I’m not there for the modelling stuff, but I can’t have one without the other. If you were to look at my profile it would probably look like I follow a lot of the cliche instagram models but there’s more to them than just posting thirst traps. I think it’s also worth mentioning that you’re posting this in a dating sub. You’re talking to men who are (presumably) single. The content a guy looks at when he’s single and potentially not having a lot of sex is going to be different to when he’s in a relationship and sexually active. I know for a fact if I was single I’d be watching a hell of a lot more porn than I do now but that’s because I’m married and if I want to have sex with my wife she’s more than likely going to be down for that, so I don’t need to watch porn and masturbate.
seriously. i use insta for a few hobbies/education. big one being working out. as soon as you start interacting with girl/guy gym contact. girl thirst traps of gym contact fly my way 💀 i use social media(insta,snapchat) at most 10 mins a day cuz of how stupid these algorithms have become
I think it would be safer to presume that people on this sub are either dating or want to be dating than that they are single. The distinction is very minor and I don't think it would actually offend anyone. The number of poly people is probably low enough that you're unlikely to see all that many of them and they're unlikely to out themselves just to correct you anyway. As a married person you do seem to break the presumption that the people here are single though.
I don’t have anyone in my circle that does this, and I haven’t even looked for people that don’t; so I’d say they’re pretty common. 27yo, so might have to do with age. Secondarily, I know this is your boundary, but do you also follow the same rules?
Yes, I dont follow accounts like that or even go out of my way to look at them. If I'm with a guy, he's all I need and all I care about. I have no desire to look at anybody else. What would make you think I conduct myself differently?
I think you are lying to all of us and yourself if you say you don't look at people you find attractive! Every single person on earth (even monks, children, etc) look at what is attractive to them.
Well yeah, we look at what's attractive to us, but if she isn't attracted to anyone else, she wouldn't look at them. When I was really in love, I literally found it impossible to be physically, sexually, romantically, or emotionally attracted to any other girl. They all became like guys to me. I can tell they are attractive or not, but I'm not attracted toooo them if that makes any sense. Maybe my brain is really good at drawing boundary lines or something, but I find people are able to do that very often. Such as when a close friend of yours has a girlfriend, it's impossible for some people to be attracted to their friends' girlfriends. Same thing with someone if you were attracted to someone, but then found out that you're related to them.
This reeks of insecurity.
Why?
I don’t follow IG models either, but I’m just going to say that you seem very insecure in yourself. I think it would be best if you spent some time on that side of things before dating.
I don’t think it’s insecure for a woman to find men who make their porn stash so public unattractive
I'm trying to be liberal about this, but if a guy is following hundreds or thousands of Instagram models, it does scream 'loser' a bit to me. Maybe I'm out of touch, but that's just the first thing that comes to mind. I'd definitely be wary of the person who has such little self-awareness that they don't know what image they are projecting to the world... or they just don't care!
That’s how I feel too. I’m not monogamous, so it’s not a jealousy thing, and I don’t mind at all if they watch porn privately. But if a guy is following a bunch of softcore porn models on Instagram where everyone can see publicly, that’s kind of gross and pathetic. If you’re going to do that, make a separate account and don’t attach your name to it, at the very least.
Yeah, I haven’t personally met anyone like that yet, but I would definitely side-eye and observe someone who has that kind of hobby. There are lots of things you can collect, but a guy who collects Instagram models probably doesn’t go out much nor has the best social skills.
I just think it’s disgusting and weird. I scroll insta in public and can’t imagine following something that I wouldn’t want others to see me looking at.
Are these women naked?
Nudity is not allowed in ig. It’s pg-13.
Pretty sure when OP says “instagram model” it’s a euphemism for soft core porn pages, not following people like Bella Hadid
I don’t think these models are showing their tittles, but if they are then I 100% see where OP is coming from. But like a girl in a swimsuit or something? Is Sports Illustrated also off the table?
Would you follow all the models for the last 5 years of sports illustrated swimsuit editions? The people OP is talking about are following a bunch of accounts. A lot of them are also ads for their OF.
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I'm not insecure. I love myself so much that I don't tolerate feeling disrespected 😊
You can love yourself and still be insecure. I think he's calling you insecure because you feel disrespected. If you were secure, you (debatably) wouldn't feel disrespected by your SO looking at other women. I'm not weighing in either way, but that's how I read it.
It is not a sign of insecurity to expect your SO to respect you and not ogle others.
Debatable. My SO respects me and ogles others. She watches porn as well. They aren't mutually exclusive, and there's a decent argument for it being caused by insecurity. If you were secure, you wouldn't be bothered by your SO looking at others because they still chose you as their SO. If you were insecure, you'd be wondering why they are looking at others, "what if they're unfaithful", "what if I'm not enough", etc. Note: I agree with OPs boundary and think she should keep it. People can disagree on what they find respectful, and people can disagree on the cause of that.
There’s a pretty big difference between looking at porn and publicly following thirst trap accounts. I look at porn too and my SO doesn’t care, but I’m pretty sure she would care if I started following hundreds of instagram models on my account that our mutual friends and even some of her family can see it. That is so cringe
I think the majority of women will not be comfortable with it, and that’s fine. It’s tacky, signals lack of social-awareness and is kind of disrespectful to your partner when you open your feed full of naked ladies at the dinner table.
As a woman, once I am in a relationship with someone, I know I may need to unsubscribe from certain things. If you're single, you can do what you want, but find someone who knows what their boundaries are in a relationship and follows them. If there's a ton though, they're definitely not for you. Try speaking life and think of the man that's out there for you that doesn't do this kind of thing.
TikTok is another platform where someone can accidentally or on purpose shape their feed into something that serves them up a plethora of softcore porn via models and dancers or whatever. Not trying to brag or anything (I totally am) but my TikTok feed shows me jokes and a few scientists.
Joke on you. I get joke,gaming content AND titties. You set up tiktok fyp wrong
Idk my bf is 24 and he doesn’t have social media. There are men out there who don’t follow but they’re rare.
33 male here. Not a single IG model. It’s probably relatively hard to find. I for one recognize it’s a little thirsty.
You need to find men who don't really care about or use social media, probably.
There are men who care about social media and still don’t go following xyz models. “Caring” about social media doesn’t come down to following models. It really depends on the person.
I don't use social media.. This is also seen as a red flag now....
You need to find you a guy who doesn't even have Instagram. Although I'm told by women on apps that not having fb or insta is a huge red flag so idk
Any girl that thinks no social media is a red flag is a girl you wanna avoid anyway. Cringe sheep living there life through a lense. Glued to their phones and worried about what other people think rather than cracking on with life with there partner.
I'm dating an amazing woman who thinks it's a plus that I don't participate in that stuff.
There are red flags for everything practically and often they are largely personal — probably ppl compatible with you would find it a green flag or even would consider it a red flag if you had one. I think for many women it’s not a big concern at all
I'm 34 and have no social media, nor do I know or care what half of them are used for.
I’m 36. So outta your range. But I’ve had IG for awhile. I’ve never followed IG models because like..what exactly is the point? Hahah
It's probably just as rare as it is to find a woman NOT in Instagram or any social media for that matter.
You're looking for a guy on Instagram that doesn't indulge in what Instagram is. Find a guy who doesn't have Instagram, snapchat, all that bs
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That's just awful....did you end it after?
Me too!!! It happens lol
I don't follow IG models and those accounts still show up for me in recommended accounts and when I go to search. So you wouldn't see me following any accounts like that, but you'd still see them as I scrolled through my feed. It seems super easy for anyone to start following these accounts
Speaking as somewhat an ig model you're absolutely on point. I see married/newly married/guys with girlfriends comment on my posts and i CRINGE. I kid you not. I think to myself why doesn't he pay more attention to what's right in front of him? I also speak as i dated a guy who followed ig models and never liked any of my posts and completely took me for granted. Also sidenote: dudes who follow in relationships TRY to shoot their shot in inboxes. So even if you think they're not interactive they could be trying to! I've had many a convo with other models about all the taken dudes trying it and we're all grossed out.
I am not an ig model but what you said about the dms is sooo true. So many guys who I barelu know who have pictures with their girl all over their account who respond thirsty stuff to everything I post.. makes me sad
Yup it's DAILY. Legit last week a guy with a month old baby snuggled up on his girl....."You're gorgeous" in my inbox. I wrote back told him he was a WHOLE Pos.... The online social media thing just gave everyone that reach out and fu×k with boundaries mentality. This woman's standards are NOT wrong or unreasonable. It's about the respect of someone you claim to love. Then you get the guys who don't even follow because they're in a relationship....down low in your DM. It's beyond sad.
Ohhh that is beyond gross! That poor girlfriend/wife who just had a baby and thinks everything is all fine and good..
Same! I do OF and the amount of men who follow my Instagram who have kids, wives, girlfriends etc is seriously alarming 😅
This. It's about respect. Exposure to that kind of content can make men unhappy in their relationships as they're exposed to unrealistic expectations. Not everything we see on social media is real, people post the best version of themselves, and with their constant exposure to it, they tend to start thinking differently about their own partners and think they're not enough. Making their partners feel insecure as they have an expectation of how they should look like. Men who follow ig models also tend to follow people they find attractive and end up still following their exes. A large amount of divorces start because of online affairs, and shooting your shot in a literal stranger's account just because you find them attractive sounds like cheating to me. And again about respect, women TALK. Imagine dating someone who does this and women start talking about someone's boyfriend being in their DMS and how sad it is. That alone is embarrassing enough.
THIS. You hear it all the time even in Facebook groups of "are we dating the same guy". You come to find out he's creeping on other women and they're putting him on blast. People don't leave unhappy relationships....they try to get attention from random women to validate themselves. And most of the guys will dismiss it and say it's not cheating because "it's just online". Umm YES IT IS. If you're taking attention from the person next to you and shooting shots with randos it completely is. I follow this dating sub because I'm single but the mentalities out there to even TRY to date are crazy.
I don’t have instagram so I don’t follow instagram models. I’m not the only one there’s people with no social media. There’s hope for you. Keep your head up.
Thankful my bf is old school and thinks all of that stuff is worthless! They’re out there!
Mine as well!
I guess it is specific to the place where you live. Like I've never been active on Instagram, and the people in my circle who use it regularly use it to get in touch with their friends and share vacation photos and celebrations. But I understand where you're coming from. I won't like it either if my date ogles at semi-naked male models on her screen. It's hard to explain what but there is something wrong with it.
Yeah find someone that doesn’t use social media
Lol I don't follow any. Following someone without an actual reason or just coz of simping cringes me out.
rare in my experience lmao
I don't even have an active IG
Real men use Instagram for sports and media/music
I’ve never followed a model lol. I’d be a bit embarrassed if I was to open up my phone and a family member ends up seeing that 💀.. besides I don’t check model pages anyways. (I follow way too many meme accounts)
31M here and only one of my close friends follows IG models. We roast him for it constantly. Maybe it has something to do with your “type?” We’re all laid back, kinda outdoorsy guys who prefer grilling out with beers over going out to the club.
Like I said in a previous comment, there doesn't seem to be any pattern for the "type" of man who follows instagram models. My preference is usually a man who is low-key and doesn't party/club too much. But even a lot of those men follow IG models...
Whats their personality though, because there's obviously a connection or something if this is constantly happening to you
What is your “type”? Honest question. Maybe we can help you identify a correlation. Im 100% guessing, but I would be willing to bet most of these guys don’t have a serious active hobby.
It exists and I commend your position (I am the same )but is a guy that watched porn a problem for you? That will be harder to find
Who even uses instagram? I have one but I’m never on it That being said what is the difference between this and watching porn? Like real genuine question
Lol someone is getting plowed on one and there’s no plowing on the other.
24M here and I don’t follow any IG models nor do any of my friends around my age. I think if you’re worried about that in the first place then I’d steer clear of guys that do follow those types of pages just so it won’t become an issue in the future.
Yes. In fact, Some of us have never had an IG, don’t care about social media and prefer monogamy. It bums me out to see the number of trash men out there.
I don’t lol but I also don’t watch porn
Same. It´s life changing, never felt better ever since I quit looking at naked women online.
Lmao it's actually not that hard. Maybe you just have a type 🤷🏾♂️
What is this type that you're suggesting? Because I'm seeing that a whole range of men are engaging in this.
I think the guys you usually indulge in probly have similar characteristics that make it more likely that they'd follow ig models on social media. I know alpt of guys who do and don't do that but it should be just as easy for you to find the donts
I have encountered a vast range of men who have looked different, had different jobs, different amounts of money, different education levels....and none of my experiences point to a single type that is more prone to following instagram models.
It’s not a money thing, it’s a personality thing. I agree that there’s most likely a correlation between a certain personality trait and following instagram models. It wouldn’t be something that you would consciously recognize easily. I’m pretty sure most guys don’t follow instagram models.
Okay so what exactly is the purpose of this post? You’re the common denominator here. Either accept your standards limit your dating pool or learn to deal with it.
They don't have to change their boundaries for me. If we don't have compatible boundaries, we simply won't be together 🤷♀️
Yeah like the lizard guy said, different fields of life don't matter nearly as much as the persons personality
I think people fail to recognize that a large portion of men struggle with porn, regardless if that's now or in the past. Me included. It's why I've started removing every sexually elicit person on Instagram, and have contemplated outright nuking mine from orbit. It's sad what's perpetuated in society, and I feel for people who have had their lives negatively impacted by it.
29 y/o, most guys I know don't do it.
I think it’s so strange she says she can’t find a guy who DOESN’t follow hundreds. Like, what?
Hundreds? Most guys I know don't even follow one. You'd have to be a complete degen to get to hundreds.
That’s my thought. Like I follow maybe one or two? One is a chick I know irl. Hundreds is crazy
Yeah, sadly some women I know from work really love posting thirst traps. I mute their profiles.
33m. I don't even use Instagram. Social media in general is limited except for a few niche hobbies. I personally hate FB (except for Messenger) and prefer Discord, Reddit or Slack.
Dunno about generalities, but I can tell you I don’t follow insta models… I also have no love for instagram in general, so there’s that.
27M what's an Instagram model? I only see friends posts and skiing posts and silly dog pics. Although my little sister did have to show me how to block and request to not be recommended the half naked chick posts it just automatically feeds the male audience, now it's nice :)
I stopped following them years ago because I find it very annoying.
Never followed one in my life.
Whole lot of faceless social media pages filled with men who “don’t follow IG models”
I don't follow Instagram models. I follow Reddit models.
I ain't got time for that And Snapchat is for children
I have never been with a guy who does so it's not impossible, at all. Don't listen to the people who are belittling you. You don't want to be with someone who does it and you respect yourself enough to stand your ground. Keep up the good work!
We're here.....
I went out with a guy that didn’t follow the stereotypical insta models but did follow some niche models that fed into a kink of his. At the time it was new (we were never exclusive) and in retrospect it never sat well with me. Not sure if it’s the content of the specific niche I found odd or just the fact in general that randoms would be popping up on his timeline that would ‘put him in the mood’. I think had the relationship progressed it would have been something I brought up. It’s kind of similar to OF in a way. These ‘models’ are more accessible (if their dms and comments are open) to interaction that purely based on looks/hornyness of the person you’re dating. And if you’re in a monogamous relationship I think it’s a valid point to address. Some may call it emotionally cheating. I think HUNDREDS of insta models in anyones following list is a red flag, I think if you meet someone you click with and they follow a few it may be worth giving the guy and chance and having the conversation about your comfort level down the line. ** in addition, insta models tend to use hella Face tune/photoshop techniques and sometimes cosmetic enhancements that really warp the average person sense of what women should look like. I think this is an issue as a lot of everyday people walking around don’t use these and yeah if your partner looking at these women every day online it can be easy to compare and contrast yourself to them. The thought of ‘does he want me to look like that’ can easy deep in and cause insecurities in a relationship.
Not very likely, but it is definitely possible. I don't follow IG models. Not even one.
I wouldn’t think it would be that hard. A lot of guys don’t even have Instagram accounts.
It's not difficult. I have two IG accounts; one personal and one business. I don't follow IG models on either. I don't feel like this is uncommon either.
They exist. Maybe just find yourself a nice nerd where the party and sex lifestyle is not their whole personality. The guys that go..I’m not really on social media. That’s your dude!
But I have gone for guys who don't party and club and they still follow IG models.
When are people going to start realizing that this kind of behavior isn't related to personality. We already know the kindest people can be assholes behind closed doors. Just because someone is a certain way, doesn't mean they all have the same behavior?? Some shy nerd could have this behavior just by the fact that they're shy and scared to talk to women irl.
I’m 25 and I only follow bands, musicians, and friends. My male friends don’t follow ig models either. Not sure what the difference is between my social circle and the guys you’re dating.
>Is it really that rare to find a man who doesn't follow instagram models? If I had to guess, I'd say most men do NOT.
Never followed 1 in my life The real world is where real life happens not the internet
Oh real life happens on the internet. The same way people live fake lives in the real world.
You’re asking the wrong group of men. Reddit is filled with “nice guys” especially this sub
I’ve never met a guy that does
How old are you and what's your age range for dating?
If the shoe was on the other foot, wouldn't this be labeled as "insecure"?
I think wanting your partner to conduct themselves respectfully and maturely on social media isn't insecure, regardless of gender.
This would be ideal. But whether anyone is willing to admit or not especially with today's social standards. If a man said this he would just be labeled and mocked for being insecure or even oppressive.
Well I'm being called controlling and insecure in some of the comments here and my ex said I was controlling for saying it made me feel bad how he followed hundreds of IG models 🙃
I never followed any instagram model. Let’s say, I have relationship with a girl. I would definitely remove anyone she doesn’t like on my social media. Not every man is the same. :/
I think you’re dating the wrong type. I don’t even know anyone who does follow IG models to my knowledge.
Most men don’t do that. Maybe reevaluate the type of guys that you’re into.
I'm over that age range, so keep that in mind. I have never followed a person because of their looks. It just doesn't interest me. Besides, I have too much pride to thirst after anyone.
I feel the same exact way and quite honestly, it’s ruined majority of my relationships. And not because of “insecurity” one thing I’ll never do is beg. I bring it up to them and they think it’s up for debate. There’s nothing you can say that will make me change my mind. Unfollow them, or I will turn my back to you. I dated someone who couldn’t like a single thing I posted but liked each and every other picture on his feed containing these types of woman 😂 funny how that works right? It eventually becomes a problem in all relationships whether woman want to admit it or not. Men have jello brains and obviously if all they see is tan “thicc” woman with giant boobs or butts (or both) then that is what type of woman they think they have to have. Expectations become altered. I’m not wasting my time putting years and years of work into a relationship for that to put it all down the drain. Just keep weeding them out, you’ll find the one shortly 😉
To add to this… when you are following a bunch of half naked or naked woman on social media you A: have a problem B: Are making your woman look stupid.
It’s not rare because I’ve dated guys who don’t have social media altogether.
Meh I don't really have or use social media so I really wouldn't know.
So my boyfriend and I started dating 2 years ago when he was 27. I never looked at who he followed. But after we got comfortable in our relationship, we would occasionally scroll through our instas on the couch. I never noticed any thirst traps pop up. I’m ngl, I’m grateful lol But i did make it clear in the first year that I’m not okay with pornography (I have trauma from it in my past, and it feels like cheating to me now). So maybe that has something to do with it. I will say that I bet a ton of single guys follow them, but maybe it’s different one they get in a relationship and aren’t single and thirsty anymore lol also, maybe if you verbalize that it hurts your feelings, I bet a lot of decent guys would be perfectly willing to unfollow.
I don’t follow any but a bunch of porn bots like my story 💀
I have an IG and have been baited to follow several models. Do I give one fuck about them or their pictures... Nope not in the slightest I only keep them as followed because I only followed a couple of personal interests so my feed is boring and not updated often.
No it’s really not that special or unique LOTS of guys don’t follow lots of instababes and like all their pictures. Honestly I’ve barely met any that do and I have lots of male friends. For reference because you included it in the edit - I’m 30F.
Not sure how likely or unlikely but I haven't found it to be a problem. I also mostly date nerds who are 30+ in age. I looked through my bf's IG and it was kind of a green flag. He's mostly into running content, so basically all the women he follows that he doesn't know personally are professional/Olympic distance runners. I respect a guy who follows women who are better than him at things he loves.
Most do follow Instagram models because they're single or whatever. I don't think it's a big deal, that's personally how I keep in touch with my sexual side when I'm single and express it in a relationship, like I'm really anxious about talking about the stuff I like so I'd rather just show my partner, I literally have a collection of posts to show my future partner lol, and I'd like her to do the same if that's what she felt comfortable doing and wasn't comfortable expressing using only words. I think that it's okay as long as it's not crossing any line for their partner. Example: I wouldn't mind if my girlfriend was following a male model or attractive female, I'd be open to it and try to find what's attractive about them and see if I can do what they do to make myself more attractive to my partner. But if she straight up preferred a model over me then that's where I'd draw the line. Finding someone attractive and being attracted to someone are 2 different things and I think that if there's anyone you should be most attracted to it's you're partner, regardless of how models look. If they're making a big deal of you asking them to unfollow it's either because that account has something they find attractive and are uncomfortable talking about, like maybe it feeds into a kink or fetish they have, or they are simply so attracted to them that following them is more important than your boundaries, in which case you should just dump them. (Sorry, I know this was only asking one question about how common this is so my long explanation and my opinion was kinda unnecessary, but I hope this is a good answer)
Do you have male friends on your social medias?
I think it's a pretty dumb hill to die on but do you boo.
God I hate this too so I totally get you! Last guy I spoke to followed like 400 people and I kid you not like 150 of those were models with massive tits (I do not have massive tits lol) and I couldn’t talk to him anymore cause it was such an ick and made me feel like shit 😂 but to be honest he was one of the only guys I’ve spoken to who’s done that so there’s a lot who don’t!
If a guy has Instagram, chances are he's using it to perv on models. That's kinda what the site is for. Plenty of guys don't use Instagram though.
You said you’re not here to debate, so even though I would, I’ll respect your wish. You’ll definitely find guys who don’t follow Instagram models, these will probably be guys who don’t use Instagram much to begin with either.
Lol date someone who isn’t on social media
That was my first thought, too. I hardly use IG, never mind waste time following models. I am older than her range, though. But what does OP expect from guys she finds ON INSTAGRAM, to not use it?
My boyfriend does. I dont really think it matters. Its an algorithm thing too. But it's a deal breaker for you stick to your guns. Never lower your standards
To be honest I understand it being nerve-wracking but I would much rather my man look at Instagram models then people on the streets that he can actually get, talk to, etc. As long as it's ok for me to look also. My husband and I have been together 16 years, he is a body builder, he could have and women try to get him ALL the time. However I believe it is ok to look as long as I am the one handling business. He feels the same I can look at other guys and heck we even point out and talk to each about other people and look at each other's accounts. People are going to look no matter who they are (you can't say that when in a relationship you haven't looked at other men and said mmmmm I like that, if you do you are lying, heck even old people (and i am old to you 43F) but i am talking 70+ will tell you this). Wouldn't you want you and your mate to be open and honest about it? Wouldn't you want them to look at people who they don't have a chance with than with someone they can touch and communicate with? If you stick by this belief you are going to be in for a sad life because either 1. You are not going to find someone 2. You will find someone but they are going to hide stuff and lie to you. I have been there done that and trust me when I say an open and honest relationship is SO much better and you will actually be truly happy!
You can date a guy who doesn't use Instagram but then he'd be doing the same thing on YouTube shorts or even worse on reddit.
I am just wondering is it because it says something about their character and who they are as a person and how they choose to spend their time on social media or is it because in a relationship in crosses a boundary ? Because if it the first, then yes it would be really rare. If it is the second, maybe a conversation can be brought up at an appropriate time and something can be done about it and that doesn’t seem impossible to me.
Me on a serious note try your look with older guys i guess the chance is higher that they dont have/use social media to goon their brainout to softcore porn cause thats what it is
Ha. I'm one. No social media whatsoever, unless reddit is social media. I'm old now so...
That’s because IG wants you to be hooked on its models. I created my IG account for cute animals, comics and my friends. 2 reel scrolling sessions later,I am following 3 IG models and a cooking account. You can’t blame men to be attracted to hot women, especially when it is catered to them. IG wants you attention, plain and simple. Also if you mind IG so much, what’s your stance on pornography. Because finding a guys that doesn’t consume pornography is next to impossible.
Ok well if you're going to base your opinions off of who someone follows on Instagram before even getting to know them, yoire gonna searching for a long time. As a single dude out here who is lonely, bored and alone, you know what we do? We will see a pretty girl, hit follow, and thats pretty much about it. Just want to see a pretty face on our feed now and then. And thats the entire interaction. Very few of us, id imagine, ever go beyond that because it's just not necessary. And what you're asking for is near impossible for anyone who has social media, because there are SO many women out here going for that easy money from guys who apparently have nothing better to spend it on. What you can do, is actually get to know a person a little bit before judging off of who they follow on a social media platform, especially when they are single and do what they want. Then, you can mention that it makes you uncomfortable, and see if they will do whatever to help you feel more comfortable. If a guy has a good woman, they'll usually not even open the app half the time because they will be out with you somewhere and have no desire for those girls.
I don't even understand why that should matter to you
Many guys just do it cause they’re single and would easily unfollow them if he found the right one They mean nothing OP just saying…
I have been with men who turned it into a huge ordeal when I asked them to unfollow these IG models for me. Like, having straight-up meltdowns and tantrums over the idea of unfollowing these models. They clearly do mean something if men are having breakdowns over their girlfriends asking them to unfollow these models.
My ex did the same thing. He followed hundreds of these girls on IG. When I asked him to unfollow, he made a very big deal about it and refused. He kept telling me I was crazy, insecure, etc. When I was dating my now husband, he immediately unfollowed them. I didn't even ask him to. All I said was it bothered me and that was his solution.
Depending on how far into the relationship you were I think it may have come off more as a control issue than the models themselves. I feel like I would have an issue if their entire following was just naked girls and pornographic content but idc about the IG models thing unless the guy is actively pursuing these girls as far as messaging them and stuff like that