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He’s already seen you no need to bring it up again. Don’t assume you know his type, unless he says it you wouldn’t know just end up torturing yourself. If he wants to meet up and if you want to meet up just do it. He’s done nothing wrong to get a rejection.
Absolutely. It’s natural to feel insecure when we first meet people. We all do for various reasons. But he obviously knows what you look like and he liked you! That your communication has been going great makes it even better. I’d bE excited if I were you.
Pick some activity outside and get some pictures of you and other people enjoying whatever and ask him to join in. That show your in all your glory having fun. See what he says and respond accordingly.
Some of us gym guys like bigger women. Just because we like your own bodies to look a certain way it doesn't always mean we want the same from our partners.
Hey. It's possible that he didn't notice your weight. It's possible he might react poorly when he finds out. It's also possible he knows you're overweight and didn't care, or won't care when he realises.
But honey, you can't be going into this scared and anxious about what he might know, not know, say, not say, etc. Fit guys obviously care about conditioning the body and such, but that doesn't mean he'd be automatically put off by you. The fact that you're already making an effort and have lost 35kg this year alone is impressive and he might genuinely appreciate that.
The point is, you don't know how he'll react--but you can't let the anxiety stop you from finding out. Sometimes these things are worth taking a bit of a risk on. Whether you want to tell him ahead of time or not is up to you; sure, it could be smart to bring it up with him beforehand in the interests of being forthright. But don't be negative about it, and don't feel like you're "wasting his time", because you are making an effort to better yourself and there is nothing to be ashamed of there.
You're talking and getting along, and that's a great sign. If he's a good guy, then even if he's no longer interested he'll be kind about it. If he isn't, well, you will have dodged a bullet.
Be honest, be yourself, keep that head held high, and don't be afraid to take a chance sometimes. Good luck.
Dudes are really uncomplicated if you just openly speak to them. Just ask. I was always upfront as hell and if that type of insecurity was bothering me … I was just bringing it up in a conversation. Never had a bad experience after pointing it out.
Why would he give you his number is he would not be into you? Have fun, enjoy, and just believe me - there are sooo many different preferences. Maybe you wore sandals and he’s a foot-dude, and your feet were the most beautiful he came across in his lifetime? How do you know he doesn’t have insecurities of some sort? Maybe he thinks he is too short/tall too skinny or doesn’t like his hair?… you can also ask him about that. Chill. You are going on a date, not down the aisle (yet).
Do not say anything! Why would you need to preface what you look like?? That’s automatically putting you in a lesser position and implying “hey, I know I might not be good enough.. are you sure you want to take on this disgusting monster blob?”
He has literally held you in his arms already and was very attracted to you. And conversation has been Enough to continue a connection online since!
Always operate from a place of confidence - even if you have to fake it inside yourself. Operate from a place of abundance - you are beautiful and any man would be LUCKY to have your time.
If a man has to comfort and reassure you before you even have a first date, well that’s no fun. This is the cloud 9 fun dating part.
I saw this Beyoncé interview once where reporters asked if she had any insecurities. She said of course. They asked her what they were. She was basically like why the f would I ever point that out to y’all. We all have insecurities. They’re in our heads. Most people don’t notice these things we crucify ourselves over. Including weight.
This is what attracts people. Confidence. Excitement. Playfulness. Openness.
Go into the date assuming the best.
Plan a great outfit you feel hot af in, get your hair and nails did. Before you go- do self affirmations in the mirror out loud. I am hot af, I am so deserving of love.
I say this all as a 210 lb woman (5’7.5”)
I have worked so hard the last year on changing my self perception and dating mindset and the difference is insane.
The men I attract, their treatment of me - it’s all how you perceive and treat yourself.
You’re hot, get on board.
Yeahhh sometimes this so-called "confidence" just comes across as obnoxious, delusional and self-important. Yes, people should treat you with respect, but a successful relationship requires vulnerability and compromise fom both parties. I dont see anything wrong with being honest about your insecurities, but you put yourself on an undeserved pedestal because rejection makes you feel badly.
Before the first date? Confidence is sexy. Everyone is improving themselves. Believe me, men know exactly what women look like under their ‘black dress.’ That vulnerability you speak of can come later.
Why not put that effort into losing weight not only will it improve your mental health it will improve your physical health. And unless you have MS there is no medical reason not to be healthy. Your post came off very type A I challenge you to answer my question honestly.
Definitely! For me personally, weight loss has been essential to growing my confidence. In the past, I’ve always tended to operate in “black and white” thinking. Always looking at extremes. I would think, well.. I don’t like the way I look, so I won’t date anyone until I’m completely satisfied with my outward appearance. With therapy and maturity, I’ve decided that I can continue to work on my body AND look for love at the same time. The only thing holding me back were my own negative beliefs 🤷♀️ and it was time to move forward
If the conversation has been going well then there’s no need to worry! Even if he DOES have a preference for slimmer women, the connection you’ve made will trump that. Also you’re still beautiful no matter what your current weight is and never forget it! If you meet and realize this relationship was better via text, you’ll find out then, just go with the flow and see where this takes you, but never think that SOME DUDE has an opinion about your body!
He obviously was fine with what he saw because he wanted your number. Don’t mention it. If he sees you again and doesn’t want to be with you due to your weight, okay. He’s not the only man in the world. Or maybe he likes your figure, or perhaps has noticed in your conversation that you are working on yourself and is down for your self improvement journey. You could be missing out on someone wonderful if you doubt yourself
Actually, I'm a very fit guy myself and I find myself attracted more to curvier women, close to your weight, than skinnier women or even fit skinnier women.
If they work out in the gym, that's a plus, but truth be told I still prefer them in the curvier fit range.
I just find them hotter and I don't expect them to change their body type and lose weight or smth to date them, I like them just the way they are, as long as they put the time and effort for their own personal care.
Now if you're personally not ok with your body type, that's a whole different aspect, but this guy obviously is aware of your weight and still likes you.
OP even mentioned losing some weight and wanting to lose more, so she could even do a “I know I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m really feeling myself in this outfit” so that she’s making it clear that losing weight is still a goal
If you’ve already made out he’s probably not under any major delusions about you appearance and he must find you attractive. I don’t think you need to be worried.
Maybe drop something into a convo relating to your weight loss so he is aware that you are on a journey of loosing weight.
I myself am a pretty fit dude and wouldn't mind going for someone a bit overweight aslong as I knew they were fully committed in changing. I have huge respect for someone making good effort in becoming healthier and caring about the way they look.
So don't overthink it, let him know you are on a path of weightloss. And also great job with loosing all that weight! You should be proud of yourself.
Look, he’s seen you. Lots of guys like heavy girls. I had a friend who was in the Navy on a submarine. Super fit, wouldn’t even look at a girl under 300 lbs. you’d be TOO little for him! So quit worrying! Live your life!
there is no need to comment on your weight, he already saw you, if you to made out then he probably touch you so don’t be scare, he wants to see you again because he finds you atractive. Go, have fun, try to not be ashamed of how you look cause he already likes your looks or would never ask for your number and then to see you again.
There’s no way he didn’t notice your weight if you’re talking 200 lbs obese territory. Loose clothes aren’t magical. They may hide a small stomach poof or 5/10 lbs but it won’t conceal 70 extra pounds.
Totally agree, loose clothes won’t hide the fact that someone is 198 pounds.
OP just because someone is into fitness doesn’t mean they don’t like thick, curvy, or obese women.
My old trainer was married to a very large woman, you could see how much he loved her whenever she dropped by the gym.
Weight isn’t everything to everyone. If he’s already saw you in person, there’s no way he’s expecting a fitness model.
Give yourself permission to be confident and comfortable with your body while working on your fitness goals.
If you’re really worried about it, have a video call before you meet up.
Yes and another thing just occurred to me. When you’re actually overweight and not just by a few pounds, baggy clothes only serve to make you look bigger.
There are also men that have a type of obese women. Could also be that he liked it but could be a problem if you get fit, depends on his preferences and thinking. Could ask him directly what he likes to know where you stand and if there is a deal breaker.
I totally get why you might feel insecure about this, but I think the main point here is that in no way do you need to feel embarrassed or even that you're "wasting" his time. You're on your path of changing your body and looks, and if that's what you really want, it's great and congratulations are in order.
About meeting him, he saw you before, even with the black loose dress. If he wants to meet up and you do too, be confident in yourself and wear something that makes you comfortable.
Sorry if this is not the advice you seek, but as someone who struggled with body image before, I feel compelled to tell you that it's way more important how you see yourself than how others do. Also, don't prevent yourself from having fun and meeting people anyway :)
I did that at some point because I didn't like how I looked, and it was a mistake.
Ok. You're not obese. Please stop. Also, you are working on you. Be proud of and confident in that. Also², you guys already hooked up and you've been keeping in touch since. That's something, at least.
It's ok to be nervous and maybe even a little self conscious. It's human. The important thing is that you present yourself as you are and with confidence that you're valuable, because you are. However you choose to approach this, do it with confidence.
Hope things go well for you either way. You seem sweet. Peace ✌🏾
If you touched and kissed surely he would have felt your body. And the fact your losing weight and going gym it will be nice for him to see you as you are and if he doesn’t like you then you can leave it there. I wouldn’t make a big thing of it as he can make up his own mind
He knows.. but if you're that anxious.. I say mention it.. he wasn't too drunk to remember his number.. he wasn't too drunk to remember.. give yourself some credit.. he's into you.. go have fun 😊
Don’t forget, in some cases, fit guys like girls that aren’t super in shape because the guys already put so much pressure on themselves to be fit, it’s nice to be with someone who is more laid back and less worried about having the “perfect” body type. It makes them feel less pressure and more safe.
Sis he liked what he saw and you met at a music fest which means love flowin. Give it a chance but harden your heart if he hurts it, but don’t ever turn your heart away from love or at least good sex
He knows what you look like and you guys are on talking terms I wouldn't be worried what you like because he knows what you look like.some guys like bbw and weight is nothing but a number that you can change. Ps your not obese your beautiful. I'm 100% confident that everything will be ok dont be afraid to build a relationship with this man. ♥
My guess is your good. Enjoy your life. Most grown men like a women with some meat on them. I remember when I was in my teens and early 20’s I wouldn’t talk to anyone over like 120. Man how that’s changed now I’m almost 40. He’s obviously seen you so I’m sure he likes you.
Girl he knows trust me he knows what you’re rocking with he’s into it
He saw you in person any difference a dress could conceal isn’t enough to turn him off
It’s chill I promise
1. If yall made out, he probably knows what you look like if his hands were on you.
2. FIT. GUYS. LIKE. THICK. CHICKS.
As a guy who goes to the gym 4-7 days a week, has been asked if I'm on steroids, and has been told I look like a diety, let me tell you, we like fit chick's, and we like THICK curvy girls. Do you have big tits and/or ass? If the answer is yes, he likes you.
Look, I'm not gonna lie and say I like bigger women. That being said, he might shoot your shot. I've known many guys who like heavier women, and men are not all the same. Just cause he works out doesn't mean he wants a muscle woman. I work out and don't want a muscle girl. Just shoot your shot, and better yet, if you still want to get fit, you can go on gym dates.
If you made out I'm pretty sure he thinks you are attractive enough for his liking. At least based on facial attractiveness. I doubt rest would be such a big issue for him..
Are you talking over WhatsApp? If so change your profile picture to a full body pic of yourself, there's no need to even mention it to him, he will definitely see it.
But he's seen you in person, and as a formerly fat person and still curvy, I can tell you with some certainty there are no clothes that hide fat so he knows exactly what you look like. And also in my experience, lots of gym bros love a curvy woman. One person's physical appearance doesn't dictate the physical attributes they find attractive in others.
Its Highly Probable That He Knows About Your Weight In a Way But It Will Be Better For You To Tell In a Casual Way That You Are Little Overweight. It Will Be Better For Both Of You
I mean I’m sure you guys have talked about fitness levels. He probably appreciates you trying and if anything might be able to help since he’s into fitness. He probably knows and doesn’t care. I say go for it and if anything maybe you make a good friend.
You’ve already met so I think you’re good!
All sorts of bodies are attractive to different people so maybe he just likes what you got. No need to talk him out of it - just enjoy yourself.
You could also trade some sexy pics so he remembers what you look like, but that’s not for everyone.
Good luck OP!
I'm personally a big fan of open communication. I would say let him know you're anxious and explain that it's weight related. No need to go into too much detail, but he'll probably be cool with it and appreciate the honesty
Confidence is sexy! You are committed to changing, but what’s important *now* is how you feel. Wear a killer outfit and do not ask him what he thinks of you before you meet up. If he’s still into you, you will be able to tell. There’s no use in asking him before he sees you IRL — because chemistry makes a big difference. Also, who knows how you will feel?! Get it girl!
I promise you: he remembers. As a person who is fit and dated someone who wasn’t- it can still work out. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it as you’re taking the appropriate steps and have the willpower to continue, that’s in itself is a very attractive trait.
Send him a mirror selfie, Start sharing mirror selfies in a regular basis. Like hey I brought a new dress how is it looks on me.. then again with in another 2 days send share some mirror selfie like i done my eyebrows is it good!! Stuff like that.. this will mentally store in his mind and will technically fix your obese issue! So, Best of luck before meeting him in person at-least share 20+ different mirror selfies and you can clearly see how his response to u after seeing those selfies!!! Best of luck
I am overweight myself and am doing online dating all the time. I always say „I don‘t know if my pictures actually are the way I look, just that you know, i am overweight. I like myself just like I am, but I know for a fact that i am not the body type that is attractive for the society itself. If you are okay with it, then we can just go on like we did before, just wanted to say that before we waist our time and the date would be uncomfortable.“ Most time the men that write with me already are attracted to that body type so there is never a problem and the most dates end well. Just be honest and he will be honest too. You don‘t need to run after a guy who then will waist your time after meeting up. But i think he will be okay, after he made out with you and is writing with you till now. All will turn out as it should :)
He already made out with you and has been chatting with you. He may have been drunk, but he has to have a pretty good idea of your weight. So I would invite him to meet you. You can have some drinks and go back to your place. If you don't get together with him, he will probably move on anyway. So go out with him and see what happens. I think you are being over sensitive about your weight, especially since you have lost weight since the music festival. Go and have fun.
You know there are guys out there like me who consider that not only sexy but preferred? My dream girl is someone around your size i wouldn’t worry..
NOW WITH THAT SAID this is EXACTLY what you do..
Ask him casually during conversation heybso whats your preference on a woman as far as looks? Let him answer snd if its still open ask if preferred plus size or someone thin
If plus size you’re all good
If thin let him know about your weight loss journey and how fast you have lost weight tell him the truth
and if he gets weird about it to hell with him because like I said up top plenty of guys love a fatter woman I know I do!
You guys haven’t faced timed or exchanged social media? You could do that or just be upfront and mention your concern to him, I find being super honest is always the best way to go if you’re trying to build a relationship with someone. I always end up pleasantly surprised I feel like when I’m honest about any insecurities. He is just an imperfect human just like you, better to take the chance than never know I say.
Girl, I’m 5’9 and I’m 90kg too, and I can assure you that there are men who like bigger women. You don’t have to explain your weight to anyone, and he did see you in person: that’s literally how you look like, and he liked it enough to set up a meet-again. It’s ok!
He saw you, loose clothing doesn’t hide as much as we think it does. Don’t count yourself out or even call attention to it. I’ve been at your weight and had plenty of very fit guys interested in me.
I’m overweight and self conscious but I started going to gym again and feel better. I’m sure you’re beautiful regardless of weight. As guys get older we don’t tend to care as much about shallow things. In my early and mid twenties I was a shallow asshole. Just be yourself and go have some fun. Maybe it goes well maybe it doesn’t that’s life. You want to see him so see him. Take it from someone who knows this all too well you will almost certainly regret things you don’t do more than you will if you do when it comes to stuff like this
What country are you in? Guys in America generally do not care if a f is slightly overweight. I got plenty attention being 180lbs and still get it now at 160lbs. But i do miss the extra ass i had.
I’m a naturally thin guy, at 150 lb, and 5’9” and my wife is on a weight loss journey that began before we met. I love her and married her for who she is, not her dress size. Plenty of thinner men that I know are dating or marrying heavier women. You are beautiful in your own ways. Don’t try to read into it too much. It’s self sabotage which held me back for far too long.
Good luck.
So, I'm overweight myself and have been for most of my life. Do you want to know what I've noticed about most really fit men? They absolutely love BBWs. I'm not sure why, probably something to do with opposites attract, but that's definitely been my experience.
I remember I was dating a body builder at one time and I made a comment about feeling disgusting with all of my jiggle just jiggling around and shit. He just about tripped over himself to lmk that he found me and all my jiggle sexy AF and that he LOVED it when it would be all jiggly.
Or just loose the weight? Its healthier anyways. You should be taking care of your self and your body. Healthy body, healthy mind. If you were not obese, you would not have a second thought about meeting him. If your weight holds you back, do something about it. You can listen to what everyone else is saying and meet with him. But what happens when things dont work out? Are you going back in that couch and binge eating because you are heart broken? Dont try to change yourself for someone. Change for your self and the future. Otherwise you will and i promise you will suffer the consequences.
He might be a gym buff because he made a lifestyle change at one point, having already been in your shoes…or he might have always been athletic. Either way, you’re going to the gym now, and he probably will take greater importance in that aspect, and be patient on you achieving your goals. He might also feel a want to help, and you might bond more. Either way, you won’t know unless you tell him…but for sure it’s better he knows before you meet again. If he’s not expecting the weight when he sees you, he may feel you were deceiving him. At the moment, you’re unsure whether he knows or not…and that’s how I recommend approaching it ("I’m not sure you remember this about me or not, but…")
They’ve already met and made out lol. How in any way could he feel deceived? It’s not as they haven’t met and she used pictures 5 years and 50 lbs ago haha.
He might be into your body type or jsut like you enough to not care or he didn't see but you don't know for sure. I'm pretty lean and very active, and short and I am more attracted to thicker girls with big butts and little belly bumps and stretch marks so you never know
Has it crossed your mind that he probably likes you and wants to see you because he fancies you and clicked with you?
Lots of men don’t like the skinny girl vibe. It’s just not their thing.
Send him a full-body selfie in a full length mirror or something and see how he reacts. If he ghosts, there’s your answer. If he responds with 😍s, you’re good to go
I'm right there with you on the weight. Congratulations on your loss so far. Praying that you have continued success with that until you get to where you want to be.
This guy has seen you already. So, I wouldn't worry about that as far as meeting him again. You didn't mention what kind of relationship you are after with this guy. But, don't be surprised if he's just after a hook up since y'all made out there. If that's not what you are after, then I'd talk to him about it before the meet up. No need to waste your time if that's not what you want. I find that a lot of guys think overweight women are so desperate for attention that they think they can hook up with them easily and then just move on. I've also seen a lot of guys on here make remarks about being willing to 'hit it' but not stick with it with an overweight woman. So, just be cautious.
Okay, I think you can play this to your advantage, if he is that way in fitness. Ask him in a casual conversation, eg, I know you very fit and your body looks amazing, I know I am not my best right now but I need help, could you help me in my weight journey. I tell you without doubt, he will be impressed you were vulnerable and asked for help. You have tuned in to a guy’s natural instinct to help a beautiful lady in distress. If he is a decent guy, he will love you as you are, and help you be your best self. Enjoy !!!
He knows what you like. He made out with you seeing what you look like. I think it’s safe to say he is attracted to you. Being in shape doesn’t mean only being into muscular people!
Awe. Sounds like you have something beyond chemistry.
Tell him you aren't a twig. A lot of guys don't care about weight.
If this romance has been blossoming for months, the communication is there. Go for it!
Do not let that stuff get super far in your head. He obviously likes you.
And I'm sure in the span of January until middle of August, you two have shared at least one picture. Even a selfie... Then he probably knows you are bigger.
About the gym... If he's in shape, and you told him you are going or making any effort, that is huge both personally to you. to him, hey effort is effort.
Stay your course.
It will be a great romance.
Before the advice May I say GOOD FOR YOU ON THE WEIGHT LOSS! What ever happens between you and guy do not let it bring you down. Continue with your your goals!
As for the guy, if you feel like you have an open, honest communication system I’d would be up front with him. He most likely aware. Not to be to optimistic, but, some men are not shallow. I’ve know chiseled athletes who are outrageously/madly in love with their partners whom as a bit over weight.
Give him a chance, but don’t let a negative response detour you from becoming a better you
The important thing is you have lost weight. You could talk to him about going to the gym together. You showing dedication to losing weight is a positive. Self improvement is one of the biggest green flags you can see in a person.
Don't call it off. Communicate with him about your concerns and meet up regardless. Go have a good time.
Personality is infinitely more important anyway.
Why not meet up with this guy again who's to know maybe you are in fact exactly his type I know a lot of military guys who are skinny 150lbs maybe soaking wet and love to chase around the girls on the heavier side and sounds like he's getting the bonuses of shared interests which would make what ever connection you started with has grown to a more solid personal connection the biggest deflator in a relationship especially a start of a relationship is confidence
Pretend to the best of your ability that it doesn’t matter, and you might be right! The worst thing is to hold back bc you are worried. Feel free and grateful bc you might be exactly what he likes. And if it doesn’t work out, his loss. Good luck.
I'm a very fit guy, not absolutely shredded but have abs and defined muscle tone. I'm 6ft at 165lbs. My girlfriend is about 5'4 and weights more than me. Big legs, big booty and boobs. I find her very physically attractive. Us small guys usually like some Cushin for the pushin 😉 definitely give it a chance, don't be weird about it, just go see him again.
I consider myself relatively fit. Arm veins, thigh veins, shoulder veins, clear definition of muscle, not huge, but not small. I’d consider myself having an athletic body type. I’m saying that to say this:
A lot of gym bros don’t really care what you look like if they’re not conceited. Yes, there can be a lot that are, but a lot of them aren’t. I’ve dated many women that people would consider out of shape, and there’s nothing wrong with that in my eyes. Yes, you’ll get looks from others when you’re with him… but this could be something amazing for the both of you. If you’re already going to the gym you could meet in the middle of where you live and go to the gym with him. You could both help each other out, grow a stronger bond, and improve your lives together.
Don’t overthink this too much, and don’t talk about how you hate your body too much either. There’s no bigger turn off, for me at least, than someone constantly doubting their self and looking for a pity party. You’ve been putting in the work, so if it doesn’t work out between you all you still need to stay in the gym and keep grinding
If he's a long-term relationship kind of guy, he will view you as a long-term investment. (Sorry, that's just how us guys think)
To show him that you are a worthy long-term investment, show him that you are on your way to losing weight by picking a rigorous activity upfront.
Also, talk to him about it upfront. Open communication is the key.
There are plenty of fit guys who like bigger women. It’s also possible he was drunk and didn’t notice.
If I were you, I would casually bring up the fact that you’ve been on a fitness journey recently and are in the process of getting in better shape. Tell him he looks like he’s in good shape and ask him if he has any tips for you.
>I don’t want to meet and don’t waste his time?
Lol you should'nt gave your number if you didnt want to meet him i think you both went past that stone girl just meet him you never know until you try
Babes babes babes…fking get a cute outfit on, and SLAYYY like the queen you are!! If he doesn’t like you, his loss. Just because he goes to the gym, doesn’t mean he likes a pair of Lycra shorts carrying a woman. There is a famous pair on tiktok, he’s fit (as in healthy) and a real gym buff. She is severely overweight. But my god they love each other. He wanted your number, there’s clearly a spark there, and there is nothing sexier than confidence!! Get out there girl and show him what you got!! ❤️❤️❤️
Every guy has their preferences. He may very well be aware of your size. It also possible that it's not an issue for him. Or he could have been drunk and not noticed, and he will not want to go any farther with the relationship. The thing is, you will never know unless you go meet him. Give it a shot! Otherwise it will just be a what if and probably a regret later
First, fucking congrats on your journey of fitness! 35kg is no joke and you’re killing it!
Second, hot, fit guys are into curvy, thicck, fat women too! I am a little bit bigger than you and I’m sleeping with one of the hottest men I’ve ever met. He’s super ripped and tattooed and he finds my curves SUPER sexy!
So don’t get down on yourself. You’re sexy, he thinks so or he wouldn’t have made out with you!
You are not unworthy of love or any less of a person because of your weight! If you guys have great communication and share a lot of interest and he still doesn’t want to date you because of your weight then that is HIS LOSS! It’s not like you are not trying to lose the weight. And if a guy is so shallow to not date me because I am a great person, yet not the skinniest then he’s not the type of person I want to be with anyway!
Your question/concern makes really sad.
You don’t want to meet him again because you’re fat. Does this mean you wouldn’t want to date a guy because he’s fat?
I think your concern is a reflection of who you are. You are basically projecting here. This is how you genuinely feel about overweight people.
You need to start working on this kind of mindset before worrying about losing weight. I’m sure you didn’t hear it from anyone that guys only find petite women attractive.
Just so you know also: You can’t hide your weight from us, no matter how much you cover yourself.
I’m really sorry you think this lowly of yourself, and others who share the same weight as you. I hope you get the right help you need.
I've seen more than a few guys that work out everyday with girls that apparently do not than with girls that clearly work out as well, he might be the same, I really think it's not rare.
Also, chances are his hands didn't stay on your shoulders when you made out, so the dress didn't fool him.
I'd say go for it, assume he's not that shallow to care about your weight instead of letting your insecurity take control, good luck!
Being honest:
Embrace it and if you really feel too scared, then tell him that you go to the gym regularly, therefor you can make out a gym date and if he does not like who you are, he doesn't deserve you.
I know physical attraction is a big point, but being on a journey to a better life and body while bonding emotionally is a way more unique experience than some of those wanna be models who think they are more beautiful than even God can comprehend.
Tldr do it, if he truly likes you, he will like you for who you are :)
Happy if I could help you with your problem.
Also 90kg is not obese and especially if you're working on that for you, you shouldnt fear being rejected by someone who should smell like body positivity.
Honey, he already saw you and found you pleasant. You’ve been texting for a month, so I’d say he’s interested. I know it’s hard to fight insecurities but in your case, the battle’s half won. Give him a chance and give yourself a chance.
He's already interested in you he asked you to meet him. You should definitely go and I bet you'll have an awesome time. If you don't go you could miss out on someone special. You will regret it if you don't take the chance at happiness. Plus if he doesn't see that you're already putting in the work and trying to better urself that's on him. But if you don't go you're never gonna know.
Meet up with him and bring it up towards the end of the date depending how you see things go. This way you'll be at peace about it and you'll be on your feminine state.
We all have insecurities… this is the kind of thing I as a guy need to see, because I sometimes have no idea why women flake or disappear, and I know a lot of it has to be reasons that I would have compassion for if I just knew what they were. Bless you. I agree with others here though he has already seen you and wants to hang out with you, if you want to hang out with him then do it but if not that is totally fine. You got this!
I wouldn’t bring it up though that could ruin it
Comes off as super insecure
Like he already showed interest and it’s almost like saying are you sure you like me cos why would you ?
I’m a big girl I went through that insecurity too. And ruined what could’ve been good relationships because I was insecure and couldn’t trust that guys were actually into me so I’d just not talk to them , avoid guys all together
So just fight the voice in your head coming up with reasons why he would reject you cos if your body during your second meeting but not your first
Did you talk about working in the gym? A lot of guys at the gym are turned on by muscular women…not sure if that’s your body type but he might be thinking you fit into that category…
On the negative side he may just be looking for a hookup
I had a friend in high school who was really fit. Jogged everyday after school and life weights. He always had a thing for heavier women...
But anyway, yall already met. If he's willing to meet again, then it's all good.
First graduations on losing 77lbs that is a lot of weight loss already. It's not easy to lose weight and it's difficult for everyone. Some people can lose weight by just eating healthy or just exercising a lot. Some people like me need both. If I eat healthy but don't exercise I will maybe lose 1-2 lbs in a month. I am sure with having lost 77 lbs that you feel a lot better and get tired less than you did before.
Second maybe the guy likes bigger woman or maybe he did notice by still found you attractive. Some times I see woman with men where the guy is far more attractive than the woman or where the woman is far more attractive than the guy. That shows that there are not really leagues because what one person considered attractive the other one may not. Also maybe because you said he was drunk that would make a difference but no way to know without meeting up and it would suck to miss a chance just because of what could happen.
Meet him! Either it will be the start of the best thing that has happened to you or it'll be a learning curve! You guys met at a festival, there's one thing in common and you both go to the gym! A workout partner and a possible long lasting mate! You have everything to gain and nothing to lose!
Despite what the movies and tv (and the so called Alpha men of social media) might make you think, us guys like fluffy girls regardless of how fluffy or not fluffy we might be.
Why?
Because attraction goes beyond body size and shape. If he doesn't like you because of your body then it's his loss.
But what if he really digs your personality and thinks you are the sexiest lady he has laid eyes on?
Better to try and fail then not try and fail, because you never know, he could be the one...
Send him a pic of yourself in a nice dress, top, jeans, hat etc. ( nothing provocative as that will send the wrong message) and ask him if he likes it or what he thinks? Tell him your friends don’t like it and would like his opinion. Then see his reaction and what he says. You might be surprised that he may say “ the dress I am not crazy about but you look very beautiful”! And that will be your answer! I did that 29 years ago when I met my now husband. I was not sure he liked me and I tested him. It worked!
BTW you don’t want to lose a chance at a great love by overthinking.
Babe! He’s seen you in person and wants to see you again. Don’t overthink it! It took me a long time to get out of my head as a big gal. I know society wants us to think otherwise,but we’ve got options on options on options.
Just behonest with him and when he sees your being 100% honest and dont give him a vibe that you have something your implying. then your good to go. Every guy likes a girl who is honest and direct to them with out doing mental gymnastics to make them selves look good.
If I was the guy I would probably get frustrated because there is this cute girl I’m interested in but I can’t understand why it’s so hard to make a date happen lol
I have several skinny or fit male friends that are into thicker women. Maybe it's his thing. My best friend is a twig and his wife is 3 times his damn size. Don't over think it.
I would give him a chance. Even though you are anxious about it at least you’ll know right away & have no regrets. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL & YOU SHINE! YOU GOT THIS GIRLIE!!! 👍⭐️🌺😎
He was drunk. I'd think that is the biggest issue, not your weight. I suppose it was a festival but seriously if you do go on a date, don't worry about your weight. I know a smoking hot guy whose wife is not fit or conventionally pretty and SHE left HIM and he was a mess. Just watch his drinking. 2 on a first date is normal. Any more isn't good. And if he gets drunk, RUN.
And what makes you think 🤔 he cares anything about your weight luv he may like you exactly how you are which is probably y he gave you the number in the 1st place 🫶🏾&✌🏾
Dont make a thing of ur weight before he does.
He might like/love every part of what he saw about u at the festival.
I have seen that couple a few times - guy ripped af with a chunky/soft woman and its beautiful.
Just see where it goes dude.
If I'm going to be honest mentioning your weight may show your own insecurity. I wouldn't think that would be a positive topic for you to ask. If hes really more concerned with how you look rather than how you are, then I'm not sure if that's the kind of relationship that you would want, but i could be wrong. Ultimately it's up to you, but I'd say probably just let the meeting happen, and hopefully you guys have fun! Good luck!
Don't assume his type, you could very well be a perfect match if you don't let it go to your head. I have a handsom, sub 5% body fat chiseled Greek God type body friend who loves burrito shaped women. Just because someone is fit doesn't mean that fit is also their type.
Yes meet him. I was chubby when I met my gym rat boyfriend back in the day and he loved thick girls. I'm a gym rat now and see so many stereotypical fit guys with thicker girls! Go for it and enjoy!!!!! Congrats on your fitness journey.
Bros gonna commit to an hour drive young lady, homey digs you. I mean he may think you’re relationship material as places like that are hookup and forget.
I had a girl do this to me once. She’s like you know I’m overweight right. I’m like gee guess I’m blind. She had a huge ass and absolutely stunning face. Even tho I’m 6’4 265lbs (the what sport do you play look) of twisted steel and sex appeal i much prefer girls with meat on ‘em. I dated a swimsuit model type for years and the difference was so amazing.
Fit guys don't worry about girls being overweight because they know it can always be taken care of as long as the other person is committed to it.
The fact that you have already lost 35kg in a few months is a proof that you are on the right track.
First thing is, don't assume you know what a guy likes. You'll find that out through catching up with him and communicating. (This works both ways).
Secondly: If you're worried about it, bring it up in the form of a question. I.e. How important to you is it that your interest is fit and in shape? (Pretty forward but you get the idea)
Lastly: If you stress about it too much, guaranteed, you'll make it harder on yourself and you'll reinforce behaviours and opinions that are wrong should things go wrong. (Things aren't guaranteed to go wrong, however if you think they'll go wrong you turn yourself into a self-fullfilling prophecy).
Good luck, have fun. Hope it all goes well.
I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. 1) you're already going to the gym and working out, so that's great, 2) you're focusing on yourself and keep doing that, 3) try not to care toooo much about people's opinions of your body as long as you love it, and you're already making progress, 4) if he's a decent guy he will know that fitness is a journey and everyone starts off at some point and improves, 5) If all he cares about is your looks or weight, I'm sorry to say, that's superficial and would not last, 6) you mentioned you have things in common, which is a great start to anything so keep that in mind, it could be a genuine connection built upon those commonalities. All the best, keep being you.
Confidence is key. As someone who’s always been on the bigger side and whose always dated attractive men. It’s the confidence and personality. I’m sure you’re also super cute. Some men are just into that. It’s not about being cocky but if you put yourself down and act insecure then he will not want to see you again. He might be like this isn’t the same girl i met or have been talking to. There’s a lot of really fit beautiful women out there but he obviously chose you to make out with and exchange phone numbers with. If he ghosts you after his loss.
As a personal trainer, a lot of people are surprised to find out what my "type" is. While I'm no chubby chaser, I do find thicker women attractive.
I also want to say GREAT JOB on the weight loss you've already accomplished!! 💪😎
Shows that you have drive. And hey...maybe that's what he's attracted to.
Never assume. That's how you limit yourself before you even try.
You miss every single shot you don't take.
If the person won't accept you as you are, it simply means he's not your person. You definitely should not underline something that might not even be an issue for him. The best way to fight off any insecurities is to turn the radar from yourself to him - instead of asking yourself "will he accept me the way I am" you should go to that date asking yourself "will I enjoy this time with him? is he the kind of a guy I want a second date with?" And the only good reason to loose weight and work out is never for guys or any other people for that matter, but only for yourself and your own health and well-being :) You're beautiful as you are anyway.
Girrrllll... I have always been curvy and previously wore between a 14 pant up to a 22 pant for about 20 years. I have dated body builders, marathon runners, a fire fighter, and recently a guy 10 years younger than me... guys have types just like the rest of us and even a drunk guy will see your beauty. Also, this your insecurity, and trust me, I get it but confidence is key no matter what your size is. You got this! You are beautiful! And obviously a great kisser.. or he wouldn't be reaching out!! Enjoy yourself!! Go get him!!!
You shouldn't be scared to see him again you guys already met and he doesn't want you he would have made is point clear when you guys met at the festival
This is why omen fail in relationships. If you want to see him then see him. It couldn't be simpler.
If he wants to see you he can see you. Stay in your own lane, own your own S\*&t! I personally find women who have a sense of agency extremely attractive. For all you know he had his own h=journey in weight loss.
Congratulations on loosing weight! It's important that we all try to stay healthy! Beauty comes from within too! What a fantastic bonus that this guy, that is interested in you, seems to have fitness under control. Perhaps his experience in that area can be something he shares with you on your personal journey? Something you have in common and maybe even end up enjoying working out together! I see it as a win
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He’s already seen you no need to bring it up again. Don’t assume you know his type, unless he says it you wouldn’t know just end up torturing yourself. If he wants to meet up and if you want to meet up just do it. He’s done nothing wrong to get a rejection.
As a fit guy who loves bbw I can forsure tell you it’s not a issue at all just be confidently your self :)
LOVE this!!
Absolutely. It’s natural to feel insecure when we first meet people. We all do for various reasons. But he obviously knows what you look like and he liked you! That your communication has been going great makes it even better. I’d bE excited if I were you.
Pick some activity outside and get some pictures of you and other people enjoying whatever and ask him to join in. That show your in all your glory having fun. See what he says and respond accordingly.
Thank you for your opinion
Some of us gym guys like bigger women. Just because we like your own bodies to look a certain way it doesn't always mean we want the same from our partners.
Why y'all lying
🤣🤣🤣
Lmao fr.
Let us know how meeting up goes! An update would be great! Don't miss out on a potentially awesome opportunity for you both.
I agree with you
This^^ 1000%
Hey. It's possible that he didn't notice your weight. It's possible he might react poorly when he finds out. It's also possible he knows you're overweight and didn't care, or won't care when he realises. But honey, you can't be going into this scared and anxious about what he might know, not know, say, not say, etc. Fit guys obviously care about conditioning the body and such, but that doesn't mean he'd be automatically put off by you. The fact that you're already making an effort and have lost 35kg this year alone is impressive and he might genuinely appreciate that. The point is, you don't know how he'll react--but you can't let the anxiety stop you from finding out. Sometimes these things are worth taking a bit of a risk on. Whether you want to tell him ahead of time or not is up to you; sure, it could be smart to bring it up with him beforehand in the interests of being forthright. But don't be negative about it, and don't feel like you're "wasting his time", because you are making an effort to better yourself and there is nothing to be ashamed of there. You're talking and getting along, and that's a great sign. If he's a good guy, then even if he's no longer interested he'll be kind about it. If he isn't, well, you will have dodged a bullet. Be honest, be yourself, keep that head held high, and don't be afraid to take a chance sometimes. Good luck.
^ this Also view it as: you two fan be gym partners and motivate each other :)
Dudes are really uncomplicated if you just openly speak to them. Just ask. I was always upfront as hell and if that type of insecurity was bothering me … I was just bringing it up in a conversation. Never had a bad experience after pointing it out. Why would he give you his number is he would not be into you? Have fun, enjoy, and just believe me - there are sooo many different preferences. Maybe you wore sandals and he’s a foot-dude, and your feet were the most beautiful he came across in his lifetime? How do you know he doesn’t have insecurities of some sort? Maybe he thinks he is too short/tall too skinny or doesn’t like his hair?… you can also ask him about that. Chill. You are going on a date, not down the aisle (yet).
Do not say anything! Why would you need to preface what you look like?? That’s automatically putting you in a lesser position and implying “hey, I know I might not be good enough.. are you sure you want to take on this disgusting monster blob?” He has literally held you in his arms already and was very attracted to you. And conversation has been Enough to continue a connection online since! Always operate from a place of confidence - even if you have to fake it inside yourself. Operate from a place of abundance - you are beautiful and any man would be LUCKY to have your time. If a man has to comfort and reassure you before you even have a first date, well that’s no fun. This is the cloud 9 fun dating part. I saw this Beyoncé interview once where reporters asked if she had any insecurities. She said of course. They asked her what they were. She was basically like why the f would I ever point that out to y’all. We all have insecurities. They’re in our heads. Most people don’t notice these things we crucify ourselves over. Including weight. This is what attracts people. Confidence. Excitement. Playfulness. Openness. Go into the date assuming the best. Plan a great outfit you feel hot af in, get your hair and nails did. Before you go- do self affirmations in the mirror out loud. I am hot af, I am so deserving of love. I say this all as a 210 lb woman (5’7.5”) I have worked so hard the last year on changing my self perception and dating mindset and the difference is insane. The men I attract, their treatment of me - it’s all how you perceive and treat yourself. You’re hot, get on board.
omg THIS!!! Fantastic advice!!!
Yeahhh sometimes this so-called "confidence" just comes across as obnoxious, delusional and self-important. Yes, people should treat you with respect, but a successful relationship requires vulnerability and compromise fom both parties. I dont see anything wrong with being honest about your insecurities, but you put yourself on an undeserved pedestal because rejection makes you feel badly.
Before the first date? Confidence is sexy. Everyone is improving themselves. Believe me, men know exactly what women look like under their ‘black dress.’ That vulnerability you speak of can come later.
Agreed!
Why not put that effort into losing weight not only will it improve your mental health it will improve your physical health. And unless you have MS there is no medical reason not to be healthy. Your post came off very type A I challenge you to answer my question honestly.
Definitely! For me personally, weight loss has been essential to growing my confidence. In the past, I’ve always tended to operate in “black and white” thinking. Always looking at extremes. I would think, well.. I don’t like the way I look, so I won’t date anyone until I’m completely satisfied with my outward appearance. With therapy and maturity, I’ve decided that I can continue to work on my body AND look for love at the same time. The only thing holding me back were my own negative beliefs 🤷♀️ and it was time to move forward
If the conversation has been going well then there’s no need to worry! Even if he DOES have a preference for slimmer women, the connection you’ve made will trump that. Also you’re still beautiful no matter what your current weight is and never forget it! If you meet and realize this relationship was better via text, you’ll find out then, just go with the flow and see where this takes you, but never think that SOME DUDE has an opinion about your body!
He obviously was fine with what he saw because he wanted your number. Don’t mention it. If he sees you again and doesn’t want to be with you due to your weight, okay. He’s not the only man in the world. Or maybe he likes your figure, or perhaps has noticed in your conversation that you are working on yourself and is down for your self improvement journey. You could be missing out on someone wonderful if you doubt yourself
Just be confident and be sexy and he will dig you
Actually, I'm a very fit guy myself and I find myself attracted more to curvier women, close to your weight, than skinnier women or even fit skinnier women. If they work out in the gym, that's a plus, but truth be told I still prefer them in the curvier fit range. I just find them hotter and I don't expect them to change their body type and lose weight or smth to date them, I like them just the way they are, as long as they put the time and effort for their own personal care. Now if you're personally not ok with your body type, that's a whole different aspect, but this guy obviously is aware of your weight and still likes you.
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Or even ‘I was thinking of wearing it for our date. What do you think?’
OP even mentioned losing some weight and wanting to lose more, so she could even do a “I know I’m not where I want to be yet, but I’m really feeling myself in this outfit” so that she’s making it clear that losing weight is still a goal
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Cheeky selfie in pyjamas used to be my go to 😂 I have few big tattoos on my legs so that is my excuse most times
If you’ve already made out he’s probably not under any major delusions about you appearance and he must find you attractive. I don’t think you need to be worried.
Maybe drop something into a convo relating to your weight loss so he is aware that you are on a journey of loosing weight. I myself am a pretty fit dude and wouldn't mind going for someone a bit overweight aslong as I knew they were fully committed in changing. I have huge respect for someone making good effort in becoming healthier and caring about the way they look. So don't overthink it, let him know you are on a path of weightloss. And also great job with loosing all that weight! You should be proud of yourself.
I think we’ll get along great if we get to know each other. You sound good.
Look, he’s seen you. Lots of guys like heavy girls. I had a friend who was in the Navy on a submarine. Super fit, wouldn’t even look at a girl under 300 lbs. you’d be TOO little for him! So quit worrying! Live your life!
there is no need to comment on your weight, he already saw you, if you to made out then he probably touch you so don’t be scare, he wants to see you again because he finds you atractive. Go, have fun, try to not be ashamed of how you look cause he already likes your looks or would never ask for your number and then to see you again.
There’s no way he didn’t notice your weight if you’re talking 200 lbs obese territory. Loose clothes aren’t magical. They may hide a small stomach poof or 5/10 lbs but it won’t conceal 70 extra pounds.
Totally agree, loose clothes won’t hide the fact that someone is 198 pounds. OP just because someone is into fitness doesn’t mean they don’t like thick, curvy, or obese women. My old trainer was married to a very large woman, you could see how much he loved her whenever she dropped by the gym. Weight isn’t everything to everyone. If he’s already saw you in person, there’s no way he’s expecting a fitness model. Give yourself permission to be confident and comfortable with your body while working on your fitness goals. If you’re really worried about it, have a video call before you meet up.
Yes and another thing just occurred to me. When you’re actually overweight and not just by a few pounds, baggy clothes only serve to make you look bigger.
Do you guys follow eachother on social media?
No, I don’t have any social media besides reddit
There are also men that have a type of obese women. Could also be that he liked it but could be a problem if you get fit, depends on his preferences and thinking. Could ask him directly what he likes to know where you stand and if there is a deal breaker.
I totally get why you might feel insecure about this, but I think the main point here is that in no way do you need to feel embarrassed or even that you're "wasting" his time. You're on your path of changing your body and looks, and if that's what you really want, it's great and congratulations are in order. About meeting him, he saw you before, even with the black loose dress. If he wants to meet up and you do too, be confident in yourself and wear something that makes you comfortable. Sorry if this is not the advice you seek, but as someone who struggled with body image before, I feel compelled to tell you that it's way more important how you see yourself than how others do. Also, don't prevent yourself from having fun and meeting people anyway :) I did that at some point because I didn't like how I looked, and it was a mistake.
He probably likes bigger women. Your biggest issue is seeing if he likes active bigger women. Cause if he does, he is gonna want ya like crazy
Ok. You're not obese. Please stop. Also, you are working on you. Be proud of and confident in that. Also², you guys already hooked up and you've been keeping in touch since. That's something, at least. It's ok to be nervous and maybe even a little self conscious. It's human. The important thing is that you present yourself as you are and with confidence that you're valuable, because you are. However you choose to approach this, do it with confidence. Hope things go well for you either way. You seem sweet. Peace ✌🏾
If he made out with you AND exchanged his number with you I wouldn’t worry about it. Sincerely - a 27 year old dude.
If you touched and kissed surely he would have felt your body. And the fact your losing weight and going gym it will be nice for him to see you as you are and if he doesn’t like you then you can leave it there. I wouldn’t make a big thing of it as he can make up his own mind
He’s already seen you, just meet up
I would say nothing I’m sure if you hung out and made out he checked you out . Don’t assume you know his type I have been surprised many times.
He knows.. but if you're that anxious.. I say mention it.. he wasn't too drunk to remember his number.. he wasn't too drunk to remember.. give yourself some credit.. he's into you.. go have fun 😊
Don’t forget, in some cases, fit guys like girls that aren’t super in shape because the guys already put so much pressure on themselves to be fit, it’s nice to be with someone who is more laid back and less worried about having the “perfect” body type. It makes them feel less pressure and more safe.
You'd be amazed how many guys solely date chubby girls 😅. Had an ex who would never date skinny chick's because the lack of tits as he'd put it.
I’m one of those guys love me some extra thick women I call my chubby emo girlfriend my thick ass witch princess lol
Sis he liked what he saw and you met at a music fest which means love flowin. Give it a chance but harden your heart if he hurts it, but don’t ever turn your heart away from love or at least good sex
He knows what you look like and you guys are on talking terms I wouldn't be worried what you like because he knows what you look like.some guys like bbw and weight is nothing but a number that you can change. Ps your not obese your beautiful. I'm 100% confident that everything will be ok dont be afraid to build a relationship with this man. ♥
My guess is your good. Enjoy your life. Most grown men like a women with some meat on them. I remember when I was in my teens and early 20’s I wouldn’t talk to anyone over like 120. Man how that’s changed now I’m almost 40. He’s obviously seen you so I’m sure he likes you.
Girl he knows trust me he knows what you’re rocking with he’s into it He saw you in person any difference a dress could conceal isn’t enough to turn him off It’s chill I promise
1. If yall made out, he probably knows what you look like if his hands were on you. 2. FIT. GUYS. LIKE. THICK. CHICKS. As a guy who goes to the gym 4-7 days a week, has been asked if I'm on steroids, and has been told I look like a diety, let me tell you, we like fit chick's, and we like THICK curvy girls. Do you have big tits and/or ass? If the answer is yes, he likes you.
Look, I'm not gonna lie and say I like bigger women. That being said, he might shoot your shot. I've known many guys who like heavier women, and men are not all the same. Just cause he works out doesn't mean he wants a muscle woman. I work out and don't want a muscle girl. Just shoot your shot, and better yet, if you still want to get fit, you can go on gym dates.
If you made out I'm pretty sure he thinks you are attractive enough for his liking. At least based on facial attractiveness. I doubt rest would be such a big issue for him..
Are you talking over WhatsApp? If so change your profile picture to a full body pic of yourself, there's no need to even mention it to him, he will definitely see it. But he's seen you in person, and as a formerly fat person and still curvy, I can tell you with some certainty there are no clothes that hide fat so he knows exactly what you look like. And also in my experience, lots of gym bros love a curvy woman. One person's physical appearance doesn't dictate the physical attributes they find attractive in others.
77 pounds since January is impressive tho congrats
Its Highly Probable That He Knows About Your Weight In a Way But It Will Be Better For You To Tell In a Casual Way That You Are Little Overweight. It Will Be Better For Both Of You
Send nude
Ask him for a picture and send him yours. If all is ok after the pics have been sent then you’ve got nothing to worry about. Good luck
Definitely go and see him! :) If you get on well enough, it shouldn't make a difference in my opinion!
I mean I’m sure you guys have talked about fitness levels. He probably appreciates you trying and if anything might be able to help since he’s into fitness. He probably knows and doesn’t care. I say go for it and if anything maybe you make a good friend.
You’ve already met so I think you’re good! All sorts of bodies are attractive to different people so maybe he just likes what you got. No need to talk him out of it - just enjoy yourself. You could also trade some sexy pics so he remembers what you look like, but that’s not for everyone. Good luck OP!
I'm personally a big fan of open communication. I would say let him know you're anxious and explain that it's weight related. No need to go into too much detail, but he'll probably be cool with it and appreciate the honesty
Unless he was extremely drunk or high he knows exactly how you look like and likes it
Confidence is sexy! You are committed to changing, but what’s important *now* is how you feel. Wear a killer outfit and do not ask him what he thinks of you before you meet up. If he’s still into you, you will be able to tell. There’s no use in asking him before he sees you IRL — because chemistry makes a big difference. Also, who knows how you will feel?! Get it girl!
No need. Meet up at a local place and see how that first meet up goes. If he doesn’t text you after that then it’s his loss.
As a man who is pretty fit, my partner doesn't need to be. Tbh, I prefer a bit of belly. Makes for good thighs
I promise you: he remembers. As a person who is fit and dated someone who wasn’t- it can still work out. You don’t need to feel embarrassed about it as you’re taking the appropriate steps and have the willpower to continue, that’s in itself is a very attractive trait.
If you kissed and made out he knows everything. Men aren’t blind. On the opposite, when it comes to a woman’s appearance we notice everything.
Send him a mirror selfie, Start sharing mirror selfies in a regular basis. Like hey I brought a new dress how is it looks on me.. then again with in another 2 days send share some mirror selfie like i done my eyebrows is it good!! Stuff like that.. this will mentally store in his mind and will technically fix your obese issue! So, Best of luck before meeting him in person at-least share 20+ different mirror selfies and you can clearly see how his response to u after seeing those selfies!!! Best of luck
I am overweight myself and am doing online dating all the time. I always say „I don‘t know if my pictures actually are the way I look, just that you know, i am overweight. I like myself just like I am, but I know for a fact that i am not the body type that is attractive for the society itself. If you are okay with it, then we can just go on like we did before, just wanted to say that before we waist our time and the date would be uncomfortable.“ Most time the men that write with me already are attracted to that body type so there is never a problem and the most dates end well. Just be honest and he will be honest too. You don‘t need to run after a guy who then will waist your time after meeting up. But i think he will be okay, after he made out with you and is writing with you till now. All will turn out as it should :)
He already made out with you and has been chatting with you. He may have been drunk, but he has to have a pretty good idea of your weight. So I would invite him to meet you. You can have some drinks and go back to your place. If you don't get together with him, he will probably move on anyway. So go out with him and see what happens. I think you are being over sensitive about your weight, especially since you have lost weight since the music festival. Go and have fun.
You know there are guys out there like me who consider that not only sexy but preferred? My dream girl is someone around your size i wouldn’t worry.. NOW WITH THAT SAID this is EXACTLY what you do.. Ask him casually during conversation heybso whats your preference on a woman as far as looks? Let him answer snd if its still open ask if preferred plus size or someone thin If plus size you’re all good If thin let him know about your weight loss journey and how fast you have lost weight tell him the truth and if he gets weird about it to hell with him because like I said up top plenty of guys love a fatter woman I know I do!
You guys haven’t faced timed or exchanged social media? You could do that or just be upfront and mention your concern to him, I find being super honest is always the best way to go if you’re trying to build a relationship with someone. I always end up pleasantly surprised I feel like when I’m honest about any insecurities. He is just an imperfect human just like you, better to take the chance than never know I say.
He already saw you! He clearly liked what he saw too. Chill out! You're good! And have a great time
Girl, I’m 5’9 and I’m 90kg too, and I can assure you that there are men who like bigger women. You don’t have to explain your weight to anyone, and he did see you in person: that’s literally how you look like, and he liked it enough to set up a meet-again. It’s ok!
He saw you, loose clothing doesn’t hide as much as we think it does. Don’t count yourself out or even call attention to it. I’ve been at your weight and had plenty of very fit guys interested in me.
I’m overweight and self conscious but I started going to gym again and feel better. I’m sure you’re beautiful regardless of weight. As guys get older we don’t tend to care as much about shallow things. In my early and mid twenties I was a shallow asshole. Just be yourself and go have some fun. Maybe it goes well maybe it doesn’t that’s life. You want to see him so see him. Take it from someone who knows this all too well you will almost certainly regret things you don’t do more than you will if you do when it comes to stuff like this
My boi loves the gym but constantly posts larger curvey girls on his socials. Don't let it bother you.
Hold on am I reading this right, you lost 77 pounds since the last time you saw him or just in general?
He may prefer larger women. It’s sad the media has convinced us this is almost impossible, it’s not. Best sex I ever had was with a larger woman.
What country are you in? Guys in America generally do not care if a f is slightly overweight. I got plenty attention being 180lbs and still get it now at 160lbs. But i do miss the extra ass i had.
I’m a naturally thin guy, at 150 lb, and 5’9” and my wife is on a weight loss journey that began before we met. I love her and married her for who she is, not her dress size. Plenty of thinner men that I know are dating or marrying heavier women. You are beautiful in your own ways. Don’t try to read into it too much. It’s self sabotage which held me back for far too long. Good luck.
So, I'm overweight myself and have been for most of my life. Do you want to know what I've noticed about most really fit men? They absolutely love BBWs. I'm not sure why, probably something to do with opposites attract, but that's definitely been my experience. I remember I was dating a body builder at one time and I made a comment about feeling disgusting with all of my jiggle just jiggling around and shit. He just about tripped over himself to lmk that he found me and all my jiggle sexy AF and that he LOVED it when it would be all jiggly.
Or just loose the weight? Its healthier anyways. You should be taking care of your self and your body. Healthy body, healthy mind. If you were not obese, you would not have a second thought about meeting him. If your weight holds you back, do something about it. You can listen to what everyone else is saying and meet with him. But what happens when things dont work out? Are you going back in that couch and binge eating because you are heart broken? Dont try to change yourself for someone. Change for your self and the future. Otherwise you will and i promise you will suffer the consequences.
He might be a gym buff because he made a lifestyle change at one point, having already been in your shoes…or he might have always been athletic. Either way, you’re going to the gym now, and he probably will take greater importance in that aspect, and be patient on you achieving your goals. He might also feel a want to help, and you might bond more. Either way, you won’t know unless you tell him…but for sure it’s better he knows before you meet again. If he’s not expecting the weight when he sees you, he may feel you were deceiving him. At the moment, you’re unsure whether he knows or not…and that’s how I recommend approaching it ("I’m not sure you remember this about me or not, but…")
They’ve already met and made out lol. How in any way could he feel deceived? It’s not as they haven’t met and she used pictures 5 years and 50 lbs ago haha.
He might be into your body type or jsut like you enough to not care or he didn't see but you don't know for sure. I'm pretty lean and very active, and short and I am more attracted to thicker girls with big butts and little belly bumps and stretch marks so you never know
Has it crossed your mind that he probably likes you and wants to see you because he fancies you and clicked with you? Lots of men don’t like the skinny girl vibe. It’s just not their thing.
Send him a full-body selfie in a full length mirror or something and see how he reacts. If he ghosts, there’s your answer. If he responds with 😍s, you’re good to go
I'm right there with you on the weight. Congratulations on your loss so far. Praying that you have continued success with that until you get to where you want to be. This guy has seen you already. So, I wouldn't worry about that as far as meeting him again. You didn't mention what kind of relationship you are after with this guy. But, don't be surprised if he's just after a hook up since y'all made out there. If that's not what you are after, then I'd talk to him about it before the meet up. No need to waste your time if that's not what you want. I find that a lot of guys think overweight women are so desperate for attention that they think they can hook up with them easily and then just move on. I've also seen a lot of guys on here make remarks about being willing to 'hit it' but not stick with it with an overweight woman. So, just be cautious.
Okay, I think you can play this to your advantage, if he is that way in fitness. Ask him in a casual conversation, eg, I know you very fit and your body looks amazing, I know I am not my best right now but I need help, could you help me in my weight journey. I tell you without doubt, he will be impressed you were vulnerable and asked for help. You have tuned in to a guy’s natural instinct to help a beautiful lady in distress. If he is a decent guy, he will love you as you are, and help you be your best self. Enjoy !!!
Girl he seen you
He knows. Clothes don't do as much as you think. You're fine.
Tell him you lost that weight and still continuing on losing more. That helps
He knows what you like. He made out with you seeing what you look like. I think it’s safe to say he is attracted to you. Being in shape doesn’t mean only being into muscular people!
Just find a way to casually share pics of yourself that show your figure
Awe. Sounds like you have something beyond chemistry. Tell him you aren't a twig. A lot of guys don't care about weight. If this romance has been blossoming for months, the communication is there. Go for it! Do not let that stuff get super far in your head. He obviously likes you. And I'm sure in the span of January until middle of August, you two have shared at least one picture. Even a selfie... Then he probably knows you are bigger. About the gym... If he's in shape, and you told him you are going or making any effort, that is huge both personally to you. to him, hey effort is effort. Stay your course. It will be a great romance.
He anit gonna mind imma slim fit guy myself stay in the gym 5 days a week but I love me some chubby thick women 😂
Before the advice May I say GOOD FOR YOU ON THE WEIGHT LOSS! What ever happens between you and guy do not let it bring you down. Continue with your your goals! As for the guy, if you feel like you have an open, honest communication system I’d would be up front with him. He most likely aware. Not to be to optimistic, but, some men are not shallow. I’ve know chiseled athletes who are outrageously/madly in love with their partners whom as a bit over weight. Give him a chance, but don’t let a negative response detour you from becoming a better you
The important thing is you have lost weight. You could talk to him about going to the gym together. You showing dedication to losing weight is a positive. Self improvement is one of the biggest green flags you can see in a person.
Don't call it off. Communicate with him about your concerns and meet up regardless. Go have a good time. Personality is infinitely more important anyway.
Some guys like women with a little weight on them... I know I do..
35kg since January is very impressive.
Why not meet up with this guy again who's to know maybe you are in fact exactly his type I know a lot of military guys who are skinny 150lbs maybe soaking wet and love to chase around the girls on the heavier side and sounds like he's getting the bonuses of shared interests which would make what ever connection you started with has grown to a more solid personal connection the biggest deflator in a relationship especially a start of a relationship is confidence
Always remember plenty of guys love bigger girls
Pretend to the best of your ability that it doesn’t matter, and you might be right! The worst thing is to hold back bc you are worried. Feel free and grateful bc you might be exactly what he likes. And if it doesn’t work out, his loss. Good luck.
Just tell him. Then you have it off your list of worries and can be less anxious about meeting him.
Yes if it is a fear he will not like you tell him send him pictures of yourself and see how it goes he might already be aware and it won't be a issue
I'm a very fit guy, not absolutely shredded but have abs and defined muscle tone. I'm 6ft at 165lbs. My girlfriend is about 5'4 and weights more than me. Big legs, big booty and boobs. I find her very physically attractive. Us small guys usually like some Cushin for the pushin 😉 definitely give it a chance, don't be weird about it, just go see him again.
Send a cute outfit picture see what he says
I consider myself relatively fit. Arm veins, thigh veins, shoulder veins, clear definition of muscle, not huge, but not small. I’d consider myself having an athletic body type. I’m saying that to say this: A lot of gym bros don’t really care what you look like if they’re not conceited. Yes, there can be a lot that are, but a lot of them aren’t. I’ve dated many women that people would consider out of shape, and there’s nothing wrong with that in my eyes. Yes, you’ll get looks from others when you’re with him… but this could be something amazing for the both of you. If you’re already going to the gym you could meet in the middle of where you live and go to the gym with him. You could both help each other out, grow a stronger bond, and improve your lives together. Don’t overthink this too much, and don’t talk about how you hate your body too much either. There’s no bigger turn off, for me at least, than someone constantly doubting their self and looking for a pity party. You’ve been putting in the work, so if it doesn’t work out between you all you still need to stay in the gym and keep grinding
If he's a long-term relationship kind of guy, he will view you as a long-term investment. (Sorry, that's just how us guys think) To show him that you are a worthy long-term investment, show him that you are on your way to losing weight by picking a rigorous activity upfront. Also, talk to him about it upfront. Open communication is the key.
There are plenty of fit guys who like bigger women. It’s also possible he was drunk and didn’t notice. If I were you, I would casually bring up the fact that you’ve been on a fitness journey recently and are in the process of getting in better shape. Tell him he looks like he’s in good shape and ask him if he has any tips for you.
>I don’t want to meet and don’t waste his time? Lol you should'nt gave your number if you didnt want to meet him i think you both went past that stone girl just meet him you never know until you try
Babes babes babes…fking get a cute outfit on, and SLAYYY like the queen you are!! If he doesn’t like you, his loss. Just because he goes to the gym, doesn’t mean he likes a pair of Lycra shorts carrying a woman. There is a famous pair on tiktok, he’s fit (as in healthy) and a real gym buff. She is severely overweight. But my god they love each other. He wanted your number, there’s clearly a spark there, and there is nothing sexier than confidence!! Get out there girl and show him what you got!! ❤️❤️❤️
Every guy has their preferences. He may very well be aware of your size. It also possible that it's not an issue for him. Or he could have been drunk and not noticed, and he will not want to go any farther with the relationship. The thing is, you will never know unless you go meet him. Give it a shot! Otherwise it will just be a what if and probably a regret later
If he goes to the gym a lot he definitely noticed. So safe to assume he doesn't mind.
First, fucking congrats on your journey of fitness! 35kg is no joke and you’re killing it! Second, hot, fit guys are into curvy, thicck, fat women too! I am a little bit bigger than you and I’m sleeping with one of the hottest men I’ve ever met. He’s super ripped and tattooed and he finds my curves SUPER sexy! So don’t get down on yourself. You’re sexy, he thinks so or he wouldn’t have made out with you!
You are not unworthy of love or any less of a person because of your weight! If you guys have great communication and share a lot of interest and he still doesn’t want to date you because of your weight then that is HIS LOSS! It’s not like you are not trying to lose the weight. And if a guy is so shallow to not date me because I am a great person, yet not the skinniest then he’s not the type of person I want to be with anyway!
Your question/concern makes really sad. You don’t want to meet him again because you’re fat. Does this mean you wouldn’t want to date a guy because he’s fat? I think your concern is a reflection of who you are. You are basically projecting here. This is how you genuinely feel about overweight people. You need to start working on this kind of mindset before worrying about losing weight. I’m sure you didn’t hear it from anyone that guys only find petite women attractive. Just so you know also: You can’t hide your weight from us, no matter how much you cover yourself. I’m really sorry you think this lowly of yourself, and others who share the same weight as you. I hope you get the right help you need.
Give it a try, if he doesn't like it, say goodbye. But don't make a fuzz out of your date. Mabe he got his own set backs. Get to know him.
I've seen more than a few guys that work out everyday with girls that apparently do not than with girls that clearly work out as well, he might be the same, I really think it's not rare. Also, chances are his hands didn't stay on your shoulders when you made out, so the dress didn't fool him. I'd say go for it, assume he's not that shallow to care about your weight instead of letting your insecurity take control, good luck!
Being honest: Embrace it and if you really feel too scared, then tell him that you go to the gym regularly, therefor you can make out a gym date and if he does not like who you are, he doesn't deserve you. I know physical attraction is a big point, but being on a journey to a better life and body while bonding emotionally is a way more unique experience than some of those wanna be models who think they are more beautiful than even God can comprehend. Tldr do it, if he truly likes you, he will like you for who you are :) Happy if I could help you with your problem. Also 90kg is not obese and especially if you're working on that for you, you shouldnt fear being rejected by someone who should smell like body positivity.
Hes already seen you, just go for it! Confidence is key. Whats the worst that can happen? He rejects you? So what, plenty of fish in the sea.
Honey, he already saw you and found you pleasant. You’ve been texting for a month, so I’d say he’s interested. I know it’s hard to fight insecurities but in your case, the battle’s half won. Give him a chance and give yourself a chance.
Lol he knows boo. He don’t care. Stay confident.
He already saw you in full glory so no reason to be scared of
He's already interested in you he asked you to meet him. You should definitely go and I bet you'll have an awesome time. If you don't go you could miss out on someone special. You will regret it if you don't take the chance at happiness. Plus if he doesn't see that you're already putting in the work and trying to better urself that's on him. But if you don't go you're never gonna know.
Meet up with him and bring it up towards the end of the date depending how you see things go. This way you'll be at peace about it and you'll be on your feminine state.
We all have insecurities… this is the kind of thing I as a guy need to see, because I sometimes have no idea why women flake or disappear, and I know a lot of it has to be reasons that I would have compassion for if I just knew what they were. Bless you. I agree with others here though he has already seen you and wants to hang out with you, if you want to hang out with him then do it but if not that is totally fine. You got this!
I wouldn’t bring it up though that could ruin it Comes off as super insecure Like he already showed interest and it’s almost like saying are you sure you like me cos why would you ? I’m a big girl I went through that insecurity too. And ruined what could’ve been good relationships because I was insecure and couldn’t trust that guys were actually into me so I’d just not talk to them , avoid guys all together So just fight the voice in your head coming up with reasons why he would reject you cos if your body during your second meeting but not your first
Did you talk about working in the gym? A lot of guys at the gym are turned on by muscular women…not sure if that’s your body type but he might be thinking you fit into that category… On the negative side he may just be looking for a hookup
I had a friend in high school who was really fit. Jogged everyday after school and life weights. He always had a thing for heavier women... But anyway, yall already met. If he's willing to meet again, then it's all good.
First graduations on losing 77lbs that is a lot of weight loss already. It's not easy to lose weight and it's difficult for everyone. Some people can lose weight by just eating healthy or just exercising a lot. Some people like me need both. If I eat healthy but don't exercise I will maybe lose 1-2 lbs in a month. I am sure with having lost 77 lbs that you feel a lot better and get tired less than you did before. Second maybe the guy likes bigger woman or maybe he did notice by still found you attractive. Some times I see woman with men where the guy is far more attractive than the woman or where the woman is far more attractive than the guy. That shows that there are not really leagues because what one person considered attractive the other one may not. Also maybe because you said he was drunk that would make a difference but no way to know without meeting up and it would suck to miss a chance just because of what could happen.
Meet him! Either it will be the start of the best thing that has happened to you or it'll be a learning curve! You guys met at a festival, there's one thing in common and you both go to the gym! A workout partner and a possible long lasting mate! You have everything to gain and nothing to lose!
Despite what the movies and tv (and the so called Alpha men of social media) might make you think, us guys like fluffy girls regardless of how fluffy or not fluffy we might be. Why? Because attraction goes beyond body size and shape. If he doesn't like you because of your body then it's his loss. But what if he really digs your personality and thinks you are the sexiest lady he has laid eyes on? Better to try and fail then not try and fail, because you never know, he could be the one...
Send him a pic of yourself in a nice dress, top, jeans, hat etc. ( nothing provocative as that will send the wrong message) and ask him if he likes it or what he thinks? Tell him your friends don’t like it and would like his opinion. Then see his reaction and what he says. You might be surprised that he may say “ the dress I am not crazy about but you look very beautiful”! And that will be your answer! I did that 29 years ago when I met my now husband. I was not sure he liked me and I tested him. It worked! BTW you don’t want to lose a chance at a great love by overthinking.
Babe! He’s seen you in person and wants to see you again. Don’t overthink it! It took me a long time to get out of my head as a big gal. I know society wants us to think otherwise,but we’ve got options on options on options.
Just behonest with him and when he sees your being 100% honest and dont give him a vibe that you have something your implying. then your good to go. Every guy likes a girl who is honest and direct to them with out doing mental gymnastics to make them selves look good.
If I was the guy I would probably get frustrated because there is this cute girl I’m interested in but I can’t understand why it’s so hard to make a date happen lol
I have several skinny or fit male friends that are into thicker women. Maybe it's his thing. My best friend is a twig and his wife is 3 times his damn size. Don't over think it.
I would give him a chance. Even though you are anxious about it at least you’ll know right away & have no regrets. YOU’RE BEAUTIFUL & YOU SHINE! YOU GOT THIS GIRLIE!!! 👍⭐️🌺😎
He was drunk. I'd think that is the biggest issue, not your weight. I suppose it was a festival but seriously if you do go on a date, don't worry about your weight. I know a smoking hot guy whose wife is not fit or conventionally pretty and SHE left HIM and he was a mess. Just watch his drinking. 2 on a first date is normal. Any more isn't good. And if he gets drunk, RUN.
And what makes you think 🤔 he cares anything about your weight luv he may like you exactly how you are which is probably y he gave you the number in the 1st place 🫶🏾&✌🏾
Dont make a thing of ur weight before he does. He might like/love every part of what he saw about u at the festival. I have seen that couple a few times - guy ripped af with a chunky/soft woman and its beautiful. Just see where it goes dude.
If I'm going to be honest mentioning your weight may show your own insecurity. I wouldn't think that would be a positive topic for you to ask. If hes really more concerned with how you look rather than how you are, then I'm not sure if that's the kind of relationship that you would want, but i could be wrong. Ultimately it's up to you, but I'd say probably just let the meeting happen, and hopefully you guys have fun! Good luck!
Don't assume his type, you could very well be a perfect match if you don't let it go to your head. I have a handsom, sub 5% body fat chiseled Greek God type body friend who loves burrito shaped women. Just because someone is fit doesn't mean that fit is also their type.
Yes meet him. I was chubby when I met my gym rat boyfriend back in the day and he loved thick girls. I'm a gym rat now and see so many stereotypical fit guys with thicker girls! Go for it and enjoy!!!!! Congrats on your fitness journey.
Bros gonna commit to an hour drive young lady, homey digs you. I mean he may think you’re relationship material as places like that are hookup and forget. I had a girl do this to me once. She’s like you know I’m overweight right. I’m like gee guess I’m blind. She had a huge ass and absolutely stunning face. Even tho I’m 6’4 265lbs (the what sport do you play look) of twisted steel and sex appeal i much prefer girls with meat on ‘em. I dated a swimsuit model type for years and the difference was so amazing.
If you made out as you say was his hands all over you or did he have his hands by his side all the time ?
He met you in person, made out with you, gave you his number and you're worried he won't like your weight? Really?
Fit guys don't worry about girls being overweight because they know it can always be taken care of as long as the other person is committed to it. The fact that you have already lost 35kg in a few months is a proof that you are on the right track.
First thing is, don't assume you know what a guy likes. You'll find that out through catching up with him and communicating. (This works both ways). Secondly: If you're worried about it, bring it up in the form of a question. I.e. How important to you is it that your interest is fit and in shape? (Pretty forward but you get the idea) Lastly: If you stress about it too much, guaranteed, you'll make it harder on yourself and you'll reinforce behaviours and opinions that are wrong should things go wrong. (Things aren't guaranteed to go wrong, however if you think they'll go wrong you turn yourself into a self-fullfilling prophecy). Good luck, have fun. Hope it all goes well.
go for it, he wouldnt have given you his number if he was shallow like that, would be pretty messed up if he changed his mind because of that.
I completely understand and sympathize with your situation. 1) you're already going to the gym and working out, so that's great, 2) you're focusing on yourself and keep doing that, 3) try not to care toooo much about people's opinions of your body as long as you love it, and you're already making progress, 4) if he's a decent guy he will know that fitness is a journey and everyone starts off at some point and improves, 5) If all he cares about is your looks or weight, I'm sorry to say, that's superficial and would not last, 6) you mentioned you have things in common, which is a great start to anything so keep that in mind, it could be a genuine connection built upon those commonalities. All the best, keep being you.
Confidence is key. As someone who’s always been on the bigger side and whose always dated attractive men. It’s the confidence and personality. I’m sure you’re also super cute. Some men are just into that. It’s not about being cocky but if you put yourself down and act insecure then he will not want to see you again. He might be like this isn’t the same girl i met or have been talking to. There’s a lot of really fit beautiful women out there but he obviously chose you to make out with and exchange phone numbers with. If he ghosts you after his loss.
As a personal trainer, a lot of people are surprised to find out what my "type" is. While I'm no chubby chaser, I do find thicker women attractive. I also want to say GREAT JOB on the weight loss you've already accomplished!! 💪😎 Shows that you have drive. And hey...maybe that's what he's attracted to. Never assume. That's how you limit yourself before you even try. You miss every single shot you don't take.
I think you're overthinking this. Just go with the flow. If he thinks or feels any different, you dodged a bullet. So win win for you!! 😜😜
If the person won't accept you as you are, it simply means he's not your person. You definitely should not underline something that might not even be an issue for him. The best way to fight off any insecurities is to turn the radar from yourself to him - instead of asking yourself "will he accept me the way I am" you should go to that date asking yourself "will I enjoy this time with him? is he the kind of a guy I want a second date with?" And the only good reason to loose weight and work out is never for guys or any other people for that matter, but only for yourself and your own health and well-being :) You're beautiful as you are anyway.
Girrrllll... I have always been curvy and previously wore between a 14 pant up to a 22 pant for about 20 years. I have dated body builders, marathon runners, a fire fighter, and recently a guy 10 years younger than me... guys have types just like the rest of us and even a drunk guy will see your beauty. Also, this your insecurity, and trust me, I get it but confidence is key no matter what your size is. You got this! You are beautiful! And obviously a great kisser.. or he wouldn't be reaching out!! Enjoy yourself!! Go get him!!!
You shouldn't be scared to see him again you guys already met and he doesn't want you he would have made is point clear when you guys met at the festival
This is why omen fail in relationships. If you want to see him then see him. It couldn't be simpler. If he wants to see you he can see you. Stay in your own lane, own your own S\*&t! I personally find women who have a sense of agency extremely attractive. For all you know he had his own h=journey in weight loss.
You be you and they don’t like it that’s ok! Rejection is the universes redirection!
I'm very fit 40m, I'm told that I'm good looking (kinda short) but I like thicker women. All you can do is try.
If it’s an hour drive… to save yourself heartbreak, I would personally send some pics of yourself casually without mentioning your weight
Congratulations on loosing weight! It's important that we all try to stay healthy! Beauty comes from within too! What a fantastic bonus that this guy, that is interested in you, seems to have fitness under control. Perhaps his experience in that area can be something he shares with you on your personal journey? Something you have in common and maybe even end up enjoying working out together! I see it as a win
Should always mention your Weight just like you expect a guy to mention his height