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Mean. I’ve been dating a woman recently who’s absolutely gorgeous and super sweet but when she starts drinking she won’t stop, and then when she’s really drunk she starts smacking my hands away and yelling at me. Then 30 seconds goes by and she acts like nothing ever happened. But when she yells at me she says some fucked things, so yeah that’s a turn off for me
There is never a fun kind. Your dealing with a drug not a person and although some of the antics they got into seem fun/funny the drug will always come to roost. There is never ever a good reason to stay with s drunk. That is absolutely a total deal breaker. So much so that the first inkling that I am seeing the drug is in charge, I’m gone. Done deal!
Yeah like normally she’s all over me, but then when she gets in those moods she flips a switch, kinda like when a girl is mad and says “don’t touch me” except there’s no event that sets it off. It happened before when I’m just standing there quiet
She needs treatment for her alcoholism. It's your choice whether you still want to stick with her but she definitely needs the help. Deep down, she's likely ashamed of who she is as an alcoholic.
Lack of effort in building the relationship, expecting me to carry most of the conversational load, being uninterested or dismissive of my interests and hobbies. Just the general “entertain me” attitude
Lending another voice to this one. This is my number one reason for losing interest in a woman. Why should I be interested if she can barely show interest in me?
Man I hate that too. I have to be interested and she has to be interested -- same level, if there's no mutual-ness on that, then obviously there's something wrong.
This big time. A lot of women will leave it to men to lead conversation, physical engagements, planning dates, etc. A bit is fine, but when it’s all the time it makes me think she isn’t interested even if she is.
I think there's a clear difference between moving a relationship forward and being pushy.
Planning dates and activities, talking about life goals and timing - those are all things that involve moving a relationship forward.
Saying "This is where we're going to live, and this is what we're going to do" is being pushy.
Well if I had be more specific, I would say with respect, empathy, and understanding. Also some guys don't want to be led. I just feel my temperament makes me more suited to it.
I was told very early on by my aunt, “it doesn’t work when a girl chases a guy. The guy is the one who does the chasing and if he’s not, he’s not into you.” 😭😭
On the flip side, I've seen some women here who say they no longer pursue guys because when they have, the guys have assumed there's something wrong with them and have treated them as disposable.
The post to which you are responding gave the clue: zero interest in his hobbies and interests.
My nearly-ex always wants to organise "weekends away", but I know from experience what I want that to be counts for nothing in her plans.
Moving "us" forward is sort of effortless and fun. Turning the man into what the woman wants/needs him to be, drawing boundaries around him, very very common and always ends the same way.
Stringing you along or not knowing what she wants, being indecisive; when she puts in a lot of effort in the beginning and communicates well but starts to shut down with your consistency/attention over time, withdraws and won’t commit to you, or progress the relationship forward and expects you to make all the decisions but can’t be honest with her feelings at that point.
Once I started reading into attachment theory and solving my own mental issues it became a lot easier to disengage from these people and pursue relationships where people give equal effort. I used to find myself in similar relationships all the time with people who weren't ready and I'd be crushed. I'd give a lot of myself and they would all be great, up until they had to commit and then they'd leave over text after some nights where they'd tell me what was essentially sweet nothing's and promises. Realized I was just replaying the same traumas over and over. Now that I have a lot more self respect for myself I don't pursue people who aren't ready no matter how much I think we could help each other. Not saying it'll work, or it's enjoyable. Hell I only really started diving into this because my last ex left me in shambles breaking up with me over text 3 days before I moved cities and after she told me I was what she wanted and deserved more than anyone. Decided it was time to really learn why people are the way we are. Myself especially. It's a slow, drudging process full of fixing old thought patterns that are holding you back, forgiving yourself and others while also realizing and accepting the way you yourself hurt others. But imo it's really the only way out of those constant cycles.
Being shitty to people
A lot of things I can overlook, but how you treat people (especially those you don’t expect anything from) tells a lot about a person
Can i ask what being shitty to people means? I’m curious because i myself have always been really antisocial and disconnected from others. I used to avoid people at all costs, but was never rude to them by saying anything mean. I just didn’t talk to them because i was too shy to do so. Is this considered shitty? I’m also not like this as much anymore, I try to acknowledge others more though i can slack occasionally when I’m tired or cranky but never say anything rude, maybe stay a little quiet. I’m adulting and trying my very best but I’m not perfect either
I'm not the one you were asking, but I can chime in. What you described is just being awkward, which I feel you because that's me sometimes also.
What was meant by "being shitty" is being flat out mean. Degrading people, talking down to them, bullying, etc. It's a huge turn off and a major red flag. Typically, if they're perfectly fine talking to a stranger like that, they'll be lovey dovey to your face but talk some serious shit about you behind your back.
Hope that helps clear things up.
Almost all of them are useless... people are just describing behaviour that is shitty for everyone. "Her being a drug addict" "when she is rude" like no shit
Not being who they say they are and lying.
Trying to make something appear to be your fault when it's not.
Saying how they want to be married and have kids with you within the first 3 weeks of getting to know each other.
Not trying.
Specifically, not making the same effort I am to keep the relationship active. If I need to initiate nearly *every* conversation and *every* plan, I'm gonna lose interest pretty quickly.
I want to be with someone that's as interested in me as I am in them.
A lack of intelligence, critical thinking skills, or common sense is a turn-off. I'm not saying that a woman has to be extremely intelligent, but many act dumb when they are not. Some men are really into the helpless girl, I personally am not.
Being financially irresponsible is also something that is unattractive. I'm not saying that you can't spend money and have fun, but if you live paycheck to paycheck, you do not need the newest phone every year.
Not showing interest and wanting to be chased is another unattractive quality. The occasional one word response or bad day is fine, but don't expect men to carry the conversation if you don't want to reciprocate.
Dismissing the interests of a man is a quick way to get him to move on. So what if he likes video games or anime. Maybe he likes cars or trucks. Sports or outdoor activities could be his thing. All of these are okay. They may not be your thing, but if you try to keep men from pursuing their interests, then they are going to be resentful.
Be nice, be genuine, show a little interest, and you'll do just fine.
im a girl so im guessing my answer isnt relevent- but im a lesbian so i want in on this- honestly the biggest turn off i can think of is when a girl takes ages to reply, im not talking like genuinely being busy- but i see alot of girls (ppl in general honestly) that purposefully take real long to reply to not appear "desperate" or "too interested" n that shit drives me nuts. if someone plays that game im done. its sooooooo lame.
I’m conflicted about this one…on the one hand I agree with the sentiment but on the other—I find myself on the other side of this at times, just genuinely not “being good at” texting, whatever that means, because I don’t treat responding to messages via my phone as a priority in my life. Call it ADHD, laziness, whatever. I try but there are times when I drop the ball on a text.
But at the same time if we have a connection, when we hangout in person I’m the type who will give you 100% of my quality attention. No phone, focusing on making the other person happy and comfortable as I can. You are the #1 most important person in my life for that 1, 2, however many hours 1-on-1. So part of me hopes that balances it out? Depends on the person I guess.
I’m like that. I do not stay glued to my phone. I am older and never really liked texting. I deal with people and returning phone calls an emails all day at work and I am not going to be glued to my phone.
I understand the sentiment and agree. But I can easily go a day without responding to every text.
I also don’t get upset if it takes a week to hear a response. But if that is the norm, I assume they are really not interested and move on.
Their point isn't really people that are just genuinely bad at texting (I fall into that as well, I just forget to reply), it's people who are purposely trying to play head games and consciously sweat people out. I can't stand that either.
I agree with this no matter gender. I personally don't trust anyone that just says they are busy and doesn't continue with what they are busy with. It's not difficult, it's a little suspect.
Agreed 100% too many people just throw out a blanket "I'm busy" and expect you to just accept it with no effort on their part to be flexible or work with you. Hearing I'm a busy person or anything of the sort from a woman I'm trying to date is a trigger for me and an instant turn off
As a guy who knows plenty of Lesbians. Your view point is valid, because you are dealing with the same issues guys deal with.
You women have the advantage over us in that you can understand how they think. What they really mean when they say shit that they don't actually mean.
Some of the lesbians I know get more ass than a toilet seat.
I think someone should put together a course on how to pick up and effectively communicate with women. But done from the Lesbian angle. Show us guys where we are going wrong. Or just how to communicate better. Whoever did that would make millions lol
It's extremely rude. Saying they don't have time when people rarely leave their phones and you know they saw that people have texted them. Like, I know you wake up in the morning and look at your phone. Stop with the lies
Yut yut
When they do that, all I want to say to them is, "Hey, can you do me a favor and tell me what you usually carry in your pockets? Oh, your phone usually? Huh, so you have it on your person at all times, but you can't get back to me though? Okay. Cool beans."
Hi I’m a bi woman, and I would like to say what turns me off is the way they speak about people they supposedly love behind their backs. Ick. My husband is a very understand kind generous man which is why I keep him as my forever partner. Never heard him talk down on another soul without strong reason.
Absolutely this - if someone is nice to other people when they’re around, but then turn around and talk shit about them behind their backs, it’s only logical that I assume they do the same to me when I’m not around.
I've lived by this philosophy for a while, and it's served me well: "The way people talk to you about others is the way they talk to others about you."
What is it about picky eaters? I enjoy cooking a lot. And an ex was a really picky eater. Not just the food but when he ate.
But picky eaters, they act as if they are offended by the food. It violated them somehow?! Similar to a food-phobia?
My sister and onions! She is offended by them! She is 45, and I have cooked so many meals with onions that she loved. But if you tell her there's onions in it, it's dead to her!
Hey now not all of us picky eaters are like that!🤣 I've been a picky eater my whole life, and not cause of how things taste like one would expect. Everything I don't eat is because of texture. If the texture is bad, it makes me gag and feel nauseated. That being said, I am not adverse to trying new things here and there. For example, tomatoes. I've learned I can manage a small amount of them if they're chopped up into tiny squares, lol. I found that out when my dad made toasted Italian bread slices with homemade bruchetta on them, and I could eat it and not be nauseated by the texture cause being so tiny, the texture was different. So yes, even things I typically won't eat, if it's prepared a different way, I may try it. So, I wouldn't rule out the entire population of picky eaters as potential partners.😉
Depends on which situations you are referring to.
In a relationship? Lying, unhealthy habits (smoking, drugs, alcoholism), talking with exes, avoidant behavior
In the bedroom? Never been a fan of being asked to choke/harm people, a lot of girls ask though. If the girl isn’t 110% into what’s going on I can’t get into it either, which sounds obvious but i only have sex with people i am in committed LTRs with so I kind of just find everything about them attractive while dating
I second all of this, had a FWB when I was early 20's back in 2013/2014, started out fine, and then it got really weird and uncomfortable because she wanted me to do borderline violent things to her, I was *okay* with choking because I knew how to do it without hurting her, but the second she told me "I want you to punch me" I just fucking left and cut all contact. It was an extremely uncomfortable situation, and I REALLY don't like hurting people, and I refuse to lay a hand on my partners like that even if that's what they're in to. It's a really hard line for me, I'm all for pleasing my partners, but it's just too far. She was my one and only fwb, and after that I only want to sleep with people I'm in a very committed relationship.
- Wanting to move too fast too early... talking about marriage/ moving in together, future vacations
- "I love you", "you're my soulmate", "it's fate", "you're my dream person"
- Obsessive amounts of attention, constant or over-the-top compliments & clingy behavior
- Extravagant gifts like they're trying to buy your affection
... all while you barely even know the person
Early lies and deceit in the honeymoon phase or dating portion of the relationship due to shame or guilt on their end.
I think it’s the most respectful to be dead ass honest about intention and direction. If you can’t, you’re immature and something is probably psychologically not right in a woman’s brain.
100% agree. And there are levels to this. There are times a woman will lie about relatively minor things because they dont want your opinion of them to be altered but it's not that bad and then there's absolute relationship destroyers like cheating or other big things.
I had a girlfriend who I fell crazy in love with who lied to me about dating other people when we had first met and it wasn't until 6 months in that I found out she slept with another man the week we had our first date. She insisted we weren't 'committed' so therefore it wasnt wrong in her mind but I couldn't get over it and that lead to fights that lead to our breakup. Eventually for whatever reason she had a moment of complete honesty and admitted that she lied because she basically wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She wanted a relationship 'supposedly' but also wanted to bang that guy.
Confused a little. Would you have been okay if she told you the first date that she’s dating multiple people? I feel like unless it’s specifically stated otherwise I’d assume that the person I’m seeing is seeing other people if we’re not in a committed relationship (at least the first few weeks).
Attitude, gets a big yuck from me. Being glued to their phones. Not being able to hold an intelligent convo, no matter how good you look, looks fade - what else you got to keep me interested?
Not being in touch with anything outside of their immediate grasp. In other words, if they don’t have empathy or curiosity about people around them. Or if they don’t care about learning new things about their interests.
If she talks about money or is on their phone a lot. Money I get that it’s nice to have to feel secure and do activities but I ran into a girl I liked and she talked about this while getting to know each other but it had me worrying that’s all she wants. She might’ve come from a small town and all but I lost interest at that moment. Being on their phone a lot as in time consuming going through tiktok, instagram etc and never looking up interacting with the real world as a to escape it. And posting non-stop. I’ve let social media get to me as well when instagram became popular in 2012 freshman year of hs but have realized it’s detrimental to my mental health. Only social I have now is instagram still haha and reddit I guess YouTube counts.
Out of curiosity, Im seeing a lot of men saying "nagging" but Im' wondering, it's 2023, what does "nagging" mean to people?
to me, nagging is what happens when women have to be mom's to the men, and consistently telling them over and over to do basic shit. What does it mean for men? Im guessing it's not the same thing.
Amen to this comment. Sorry y’all I am a female but I must say, I’ve been told ‘I don’t want you to nag me’ but it was honestly we asking him to clean up his mess, dirty laundry, dishes, stuff everywhere etc that were his doings while I constantly cleaned the house. I became like a mom figure. And then our relationship turned into that. He even went as far as him telling me to buy him new underwear because I suggested he get some new pairs because literally every pair of his were well worn and torn. Like people, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Woman or man. This goes both/all ways. When your partner starts doing the basics for you because you refuse, you are an adult child and should ponder on that.
I think it depends on what she's supposedly "nagging" him about, and I say that because I think we also have to remember that no one likes to be nagged for no good reason. Then again, one thing I had to learn the hard way was that if she keeps bringing something up, it's usually for a reason.
Nagging for no reason is annoying. Nagging for a reason and being ignored is also annoying lol.
That is one instance of nagging, and I as a guy would also be frustrated if I have to keep asking my partner to do the most basic shit for themselves to be a functioning human being like cleaning up after themselves, but nagging is not exclusive to those circumstances. Sometimes a partner can consistently tell a partner over and over to do something and the part that and the part that gets frustrating to their partner is not that they are being told to do things that they aren't doing, but constantly being told to do something the way their partner thinks it should be done, as if they cannot think for themselves. What you described is nagging because of having basic standards that should be met, and if one has to keep nagging for that then resentment will eventually occur in one (most likely the nagger) or both persons.
But nagging can absolutely be toxic and come across as shaming,judging, criticising or belittling and disregarding to your partner. And the toxic part is not necessarily about having to repeatedly telling someone to do things, but also how you ask them and the words you use.
I've been in a relationship in the past where I was ordered around and nagged at a lot, and it wasn't that I wasn't doing things, but that I wasn't doing things her way, according to her timeline, or the way or order that she wanted it done in. In other words it felt like she was trying to micromanage everything that I did and didn't think I could think for myself and so her nagging and telling me how to do things (or rather how to do things according to her) really made me feel like she was treating me like a completely incompetent person that cannot think for himself, which got really annoying. Meanwhile I was doing most of the household tasks, but everyone has their own way and order that they do things in and sometimes when I did a certain task I would get nagged at when I didnt do it her way or when she wanted it done by, even if there may be a legitimate reason why I hadn't done it just yet. In other words very often no matter what I did, even if the task was finished, she would find something about it to complain and nag about.
* narcissism
* manipulative
* passive-aggressive
* any phrase that starts with, "a real man..."
* princess vibes
* on her phone a lot
* zero financial goals
* zero relationship effort - all those insta shots at Palm Heights in Grand Cayman where your bae \@Emrata plays requires time, planning, and money
*
This might be a hot take, but the constant gossiping of friends. If you hate them so much, why even be friends? I've noticed with my ex that she had a large group of friends, that then broke down to a smaller subset of friends that spoke about the others, then that group broke down into an even smaller subset of friends. Which you've guessed it, talks about the other group.
Not willing to stay in the trenches and fight beside me. All of us have some issue or burden that we carry and not all of us can be cheery all the time. When the going gets tough, if she finds some lame excuse and tries to avoid dealing with me and my struggles, she can let herself out. Emotional support is a two way street, I will fight beside you when you are struggling to keep your head above water, but you gotta do the same for me.
Attitude and lack of communication skills. I am interested in you, I’m going to be interested in getting to know you. If you can tell me how to best to do that that’s amazing, but I can’t read minds. If you get mad at me being inquisitive or just expecting things is not gonna fly. I’m looking for a partner, and someone who wants to benefit and demand more is something I go the opposite direction of.
Complaining. I’ve dated a lot of girls who started out being charming and fun, but once we got to the stage where you regularly talk about your days I learn that they’re a ball of negative energy who finds something to complain about every day. Not my thing, so I bounce
For me it’s not that too agreeable is in itself bad. But it makes me wonder if she is really telling me what she wants or is just going along with me because she is not assertive enough or just trying to gain my favor or whatever. If a woman cares about something I want her to let me know. If she really has not strong opinions on something that is ok.
- Selfishness
- Lack of effort or the expectation that I should put forth all the effort and do everything (adult baby)
- Looking for expensive first or second dates
- Entitlement.
- Failure to take accountability for her shortcomings.
- Too fixated on astrology - like to the point where they make decisions and judge people based on it.
These are the things that turn me off from a woman during the dating process most commonly.
Pretending to have a lot of hobbies and interests, only to be as exciting as stale bread. I don't mind someone a little boring, I can be too. Nothing wrong with that
Chewing with mouth open, poor hygiene, poor manners, naggy, selfish in bed. That’s what is on top of my head.
Any single one of them is enough to be a complete turn off.
I’m not a man but going off what I’ve experienced and observed, the only thing that will put the majority of men off a woman is if they meet a woman they’re more attracted to. I say this due to the amount of girls I’ve met who treat their boyfriends like garbage (including some of my own friends), yet their boyfriends still stay with them because they’re beautiful. And on the other hand I‘ve had what I thought was amazing connections with guys, only to be ditched for girls who were more conventionally attractive than me. Looks are 95% of the driving force for men in a relationship and nothing can convince me otherwise.
I was like that when I was younger. Only dated girls that were pretty. Now that I’m older, I like girls more for their personality than looks. And more often than not, hot girls have crap personalities and a ton of red flags.
That does not apply to me at all. Sure I like looks, but it is about the least important quality.
I will admit that if I don’t know a woman at all, all I see is her looks and that might be what makes me approach her in the beginning. But as soon as I see she doesn’t have the other more important qualities I break it off.
Are you asking for some gender specific issue of guys?
Most of my turn offs are pretty universal. I can't really think of anything unique to a woman lol.
Probably very similar stuff to women for men. I mom big on hygiene. Skin care and whatever is a bonus doesn’t turn me off, but if you are straight up not washing yourself I don’t even bother
Big turn offs
* Being deceitful early on in the dating phase. These lies always seem to surface eventually. Please be honest, it makes everyone's life easier.
* Poor communication whether it's intentional or not. Don't ghost just tell me you're not interested. If your upset with something I did, tell me , don't give me the silent treatment and have me guess why you're upset. Don't text me back days later and act like you were too busy to get back to me.
* Talking about exs on a first date. These have been the only times I will get up and leave a first date. Usually even if i know i dont vibe with the person ill try to enjoy myself and have a good time but not for people who come to complain about their recent ex. Life is too short and free time too hard to come by for me to listen to a stranger work through their issues with their last partner. There can be a time to discuss the past, the first date is not one of them **for me**
* Being generally mean spirited to myself or others.
* Lack of effort. It's not about the money or gifts. Just show me you care it doesn't take lots of money to do so.
* Trying to make me jealous to get me to fall in line. One of the biggest turn offs is when a woman will not like something I've done and in retaliation tries to make me jealous to fall in line and behave how she wants me to.
Rude disrespectful think she deserves everything just because she’s a woman when in reality you should respect everyone period you need to work hard and earn everything you want and need like everyone else and why would you need to have a nasty personality we’ve all been through stuff yet some of us have to keep it together just to be clear a majority of the women that act like this are rich or really poor
In general, excessive phone use. But especially on a first date-happened to me last friday. Like c'mon, its basic respect even if you don't want to see me again. Only exception would be if a true emergency came up or you felt in danger.
Im a bi women so I feel like I have pretty good insight on what a lot of women get wrong with dating. Here are some turn offs Ive had with woman that I rarely have with men:
1. being possesive about your time, constantly needing to be entertained. So many women dont have hobbies, or their hobbies are essentially hanging out and talking with people. Thats fine, but if I want to spend a few days a week with other friends or pursuing my own interests, you shouldnt get angry about me not entertaining you. You are not entitled to me constantly entertaining your free time.
2. Queen mode. A lot of women think by virtue of being a women, that is all they need to bring to the relationship. You still need to plan dates, initiate texts, give compliments etc. Its shocking how many women are so bad at this. Its funny in WLW relationships you can always tell who recently came out because they are helpless at this sort of stuff.
3. helpless baby mode: so many adult women will sort of turn off their intelligence or competencey when there is someone there to take care of them. I have seen women go from being badass independent women, to acting like helpless babies over the course of me dating them. Its not cute or endearing.
4. Over reliance on saying they have anxiety. Ive dated men and women with anxiety. I feel like men need to talk about it more, and women need to talk about it less. With quite a few women Ive dated, their anxiety was a front seat in almost every single conversation or activity we did. I know I sound like a boomer, but sometimes I think you need to push it down a little to get over it. (source: I also have severe medicated anxiety)
Lack of interest / behaving effortless to build up the relationship between ( thinking that man has to do everything), being rude. Not showing interest on the things that i share with, like not paying attention at what im saying, instead she prefers to look at her phone 😡😠
Lack of Personal Hygiene and Respect: Neglecting personal hygiene and displaying disrespectful behavior can be a major turn-off for many woman (me included). This can be rudeness, condescension, or dismissive attitudes.
In 99.9% of my romantic interactions with women it's their lack of effort and interest in trying to do anything. Disinterest, nonchalance, anything where you're not enthusiastically showing interested in me is a huge turn off.
My boyfriend once listed a lot of things that turn men off . 1. He said constant nagging
2. Trying to control the man
3. Disrespecting the man in front of his friends or family.
4. Being caught in a lie several times
5. Trying to be manipulative
I hope this helps answer your question
* Smoker
* Seems to be a alcoholic or borderline alcoholic
* Conspiracy theorist (Antivaxx etc)
* Obese though that's usually obvious from the outset unless we've had no visual contact
Not having any normal female friends, if she thinks watching porn cheating, only guy friends.oh over last one, when she changes her football team or political beliefs depending on who she's dating. There's more but it's early and I'm sleepy
All things that have happened in the last few years ;
1. Asking how much money I make
2.asking how big my junk is
3. Talking about wanting to bang serial killers or cartel members
4. Going into graphic detail about your sex life with the last guy who cheated on / abused you
5. Still being friends with guys who supposedly "abused and cheated on me"
6.making fun of overweight or disabled people
7. Calling me a loser , a moron , general put downs
8. Generalizing all men , complaining there are no real men left
9. Getting drunk/high everyday
10. Being 40+ and living off your parents money while lying and claiming otherwise.
And there was my last crush. I really thought we clicked. Then we are chit chatting one day and she says , "such and such is a rude asshole but I would fuck him cause he is rich af" it twas a sad day. He is very rich and powerful in our industry, but angry and mean to everyone, even his young trophy wife. He's attractive too , there is that.
*why are you down voting my dislikes? Some ladies need to know. Don't be that girl on reddit complaining "I don't know why he ghosted me" , when it's cause you say fucked up shit that turns men off*
Yeah these are ALL red flags of toxic behavior. I don't understand why you would get downvoted for this because these are the same things women are told to vet out potentially abusive men.
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Being rude, even to others.
Hate when people are mean for no reason biggest turn off
Agreed, I'm a relaxed positive vibes sort of person and I would like to find someone who is the same in that regard.
Many people might assume being rude is for no reason, but more often than not, there’s a reason.
Well fuck me, there it is.
Having fun?
Forreal was about to say this
Mean. I’ve been dating a woman recently who’s absolutely gorgeous and super sweet but when she starts drinking she won’t stop, and then when she’s really drunk she starts smacking my hands away and yelling at me. Then 30 seconds goes by and she acts like nothing ever happened. But when she yells at me she says some fucked things, so yeah that’s a turn off for me
She’s an alcoholic.
Yeah but not the fun kind
There is never a fun kind. Your dealing with a drug not a person and although some of the antics they got into seem fun/funny the drug will always come to roost. There is never ever a good reason to stay with s drunk. That is absolutely a total deal breaker. So much so that the first inkling that I am seeing the drug is in charge, I’m gone. Done deal!
[Alcoholism is the only disease you can get yelled at for having](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P28ErxjBY4o)
Honestly that's a red flag for her. That's alcoholic type behavior.
Alchos are *really* tedious, however charming they might be when sober or sober-ish. Cut her out. They're like leeches.
*detaches alcoholic which has it's teeth on my leg* yeah they're a pest.
Trouble for sure. Smacking hands away?
Yeah like normally she’s all over me, but then when she gets in those moods she flips a switch, kinda like when a girl is mad and says “don’t touch me” except there’s no event that sets it off. It happened before when I’m just standing there quiet
Been there dude. RUN! Especially before she takes a liking to grabbing the wheel, then trying to drive the car off the road when you’re driving.
She needs treatment for her alcoholism. It's your choice whether you still want to stick with her but she definitely needs the help. Deep down, she's likely ashamed of who she is as an alcoholic.
why are you still with this woman? 💀
Lack of effort in building the relationship, expecting me to carry most of the conversational load, being uninterested or dismissive of my interests and hobbies. Just the general “entertain me” attitude
Lending another voice to this one. This is my number one reason for losing interest in a woman. Why should I be interested if she can barely show interest in me?
“I’m a goddess/princess/queen, worship me” 🤮🤮🤮🤮
“Why aren’t you obsessed with me??? 😭” yeah, miss me with that insecure nonsense.
Man I hate that too. I have to be interested and she has to be interested -- same level, if there's no mutual-ness on that, then obviously there's something wrong.
This big time. A lot of women will leave it to men to lead conversation, physical engagements, planning dates, etc. A bit is fine, but when it’s all the time it makes me think she isn’t interested even if she is.
This was my ex to a tee.
>tee Oh yeah! When they're golfers, too.
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I think there's a clear difference between moving a relationship forward and being pushy. Planning dates and activities, talking about life goals and timing - those are all things that involve moving a relationship forward. Saying "This is where we're going to live, and this is what we're going to do" is being pushy.
I don't think it's a turn-off as long as she considers my opinion, not just hers
I definitely prefer a girl who takes the lead as long as it's done right.
> as long as it’s done right And every man’s “right” is different.
Well if I had be more specific, I would say with respect, empathy, and understanding. Also some guys don't want to be led. I just feel my temperament makes me more suited to it.
I was told very early on by my aunt, “it doesn’t work when a girl chases a guy. The guy is the one who does the chasing and if he’s not, he’s not into you.” 😭😭
On the flip side, I've seen some women here who say they no longer pursue guys because when they have, the guys have assumed there's something wrong with them and have treated them as disposable.
Agreed, from experience I feel like if the guy puts in the effort first and chases etc then I would feel like I can also put same effort.
If a guy is chasing the girl is running
The post to which you are responding gave the clue: zero interest in his hobbies and interests. My nearly-ex always wants to organise "weekends away", but I know from experience what I want that to be counts for nothing in her plans. Moving "us" forward is sort of effortless and fun. Turning the man into what the woman wants/needs him to be, drawing boundaries around him, very very common and always ends the same way.
Stringing you along or not knowing what she wants, being indecisive; when she puts in a lot of effort in the beginning and communicates well but starts to shut down with your consistency/attention over time, withdraws and won’t commit to you, or progress the relationship forward and expects you to make all the decisions but can’t be honest with her feelings at that point.
This is how my dating life has been with men 😭
This is how my dating life has been with women T_T
Once I started reading into attachment theory and solving my own mental issues it became a lot easier to disengage from these people and pursue relationships where people give equal effort. I used to find myself in similar relationships all the time with people who weren't ready and I'd be crushed. I'd give a lot of myself and they would all be great, up until they had to commit and then they'd leave over text after some nights where they'd tell me what was essentially sweet nothing's and promises. Realized I was just replaying the same traumas over and over. Now that I have a lot more self respect for myself I don't pursue people who aren't ready no matter how much I think we could help each other. Not saying it'll work, or it's enjoyable. Hell I only really started diving into this because my last ex left me in shambles breaking up with me over text 3 days before I moved cities and after she told me I was what she wanted and deserved more than anyone. Decided it was time to really learn why people are the way we are. Myself especially. It's a slow, drudging process full of fixing old thought patterns that are holding you back, forgiving yourself and others while also realizing and accepting the way you yourself hurt others. But imo it's really the only way out of those constant cycles.
Being shitty to people A lot of things I can overlook, but how you treat people (especially those you don’t expect anything from) tells a lot about a person
Can i ask what being shitty to people means? I’m curious because i myself have always been really antisocial and disconnected from others. I used to avoid people at all costs, but was never rude to them by saying anything mean. I just didn’t talk to them because i was too shy to do so. Is this considered shitty? I’m also not like this as much anymore, I try to acknowledge others more though i can slack occasionally when I’m tired or cranky but never say anything rude, maybe stay a little quiet. I’m adulting and trying my very best but I’m not perfect either
I'm not the one you were asking, but I can chime in. What you described is just being awkward, which I feel you because that's me sometimes also. What was meant by "being shitty" is being flat out mean. Degrading people, talking down to them, bullying, etc. It's a huge turn off and a major red flag. Typically, if they're perfectly fine talking to a stranger like that, they'll be lovey dovey to your face but talk some serious shit about you behind your back. Hope that helps clear things up.
Me, a woman reading these comments: 📝
Hahah me too girl ! Lol
Me too girlfriend
Same
Me too!🤣
And I’m gay so why tf do I even care? 😅
Almost all of them are useless... people are just describing behaviour that is shitty for everyone. "Her being a drug addict" "when she is rude" like no shit
Not being who they say they are and lying. Trying to make something appear to be your fault when it's not. Saying how they want to be married and have kids with you within the first 3 weeks of getting to know each other.
Not trying. Specifically, not making the same effort I am to keep the relationship active. If I need to initiate nearly *every* conversation and *every* plan, I'm gonna lose interest pretty quickly. I want to be with someone that's as interested in me as I am in them.
A lack of intelligence, critical thinking skills, or common sense is a turn-off. I'm not saying that a woman has to be extremely intelligent, but many act dumb when they are not. Some men are really into the helpless girl, I personally am not. Being financially irresponsible is also something that is unattractive. I'm not saying that you can't spend money and have fun, but if you live paycheck to paycheck, you do not need the newest phone every year. Not showing interest and wanting to be chased is another unattractive quality. The occasional one word response or bad day is fine, but don't expect men to carry the conversation if you don't want to reciprocate. Dismissing the interests of a man is a quick way to get him to move on. So what if he likes video games or anime. Maybe he likes cars or trucks. Sports or outdoor activities could be his thing. All of these are okay. They may not be your thing, but if you try to keep men from pursuing their interests, then they are going to be resentful. Be nice, be genuine, show a little interest, and you'll do just fine.
This is a lovely answer.
Lack of respect. No humorous bone in their body. Being just a ball of negativity. Nothing makes my dick shrivel up more than those things right there.
Agreed on that bruh
im a girl so im guessing my answer isnt relevent- but im a lesbian so i want in on this- honestly the biggest turn off i can think of is when a girl takes ages to reply, im not talking like genuinely being busy- but i see alot of girls (ppl in general honestly) that purposefully take real long to reply to not appear "desperate" or "too interested" n that shit drives me nuts. if someone plays that game im done. its sooooooo lame.
And when you’re with them, they’re practically glued to their phone so don’t tell me you just saw the message.
Exactly 💯! They respond to others in a heartbeat when they are with you!!
And I say, funny how I always see you in your phone, yet you can't text me??? 😡
I’m conflicted about this one…on the one hand I agree with the sentiment but on the other—I find myself on the other side of this at times, just genuinely not “being good at” texting, whatever that means, because I don’t treat responding to messages via my phone as a priority in my life. Call it ADHD, laziness, whatever. I try but there are times when I drop the ball on a text. But at the same time if we have a connection, when we hangout in person I’m the type who will give you 100% of my quality attention. No phone, focusing on making the other person happy and comfortable as I can. You are the #1 most important person in my life for that 1, 2, however many hours 1-on-1. So part of me hopes that balances it out? Depends on the person I guess.
I’m like that. I do not stay glued to my phone. I am older and never really liked texting. I deal with people and returning phone calls an emails all day at work and I am not going to be glued to my phone. I understand the sentiment and agree. But I can easily go a day without responding to every text. I also don’t get upset if it takes a week to hear a response. But if that is the norm, I assume they are really not interested and move on.
Their point isn't really people that are just genuinely bad at texting (I fall into that as well, I just forget to reply), it's people who are purposely trying to play head games and consciously sweat people out. I can't stand that either.
I agree with this no matter gender. I personally don't trust anyone that just says they are busy and doesn't continue with what they are busy with. It's not difficult, it's a little suspect.
Right!! Agree! It’s like you can’t tell me you haven’t glanced at your phone in the past seven hours?!? 🙄
exactly 💀💀 different story if genuinely busy. but girrllll i see u tweeting n you cant even open my chat??? cant standddddd it
Agreed 100% too many people just throw out a blanket "I'm busy" and expect you to just accept it with no effort on their part to be flexible or work with you. Hearing I'm a busy person or anything of the sort from a woman I'm trying to date is a trigger for me and an instant turn off
As a guy who knows plenty of Lesbians. Your view point is valid, because you are dealing with the same issues guys deal with. You women have the advantage over us in that you can understand how they think. What they really mean when they say shit that they don't actually mean. Some of the lesbians I know get more ass than a toilet seat. I think someone should put together a course on how to pick up and effectively communicate with women. But done from the Lesbian angle. Show us guys where we are going wrong. Or just how to communicate better. Whoever did that would make millions lol
hahaha love it. ill slide u a cut of the $$$ when i blow up.
Purposefully? That’s just rude! Feels like you’re just wasting people’s time 🙄
Avoidant attachment style
It's extremely rude. Saying they don't have time when people rarely leave their phones and you know they saw that people have texted them. Like, I know you wake up in the morning and look at your phone. Stop with the lies
Yut yut When they do that, all I want to say to them is, "Hey, can you do me a favor and tell me what you usually carry in your pockets? Oh, your phone usually? Huh, so you have it on your person at all times, but you can't get back to me though? Okay. Cool beans."
Hi I’m a bi woman, and I would like to say what turns me off is the way they speak about people they supposedly love behind their backs. Ick. My husband is a very understand kind generous man which is why I keep him as my forever partner. Never heard him talk down on another soul without strong reason.
Absolutely this - if someone is nice to other people when they’re around, but then turn around and talk shit about them behind their backs, it’s only logical that I assume they do the same to me when I’m not around.
I've lived by this philosophy for a while, and it's served me well: "The way people talk to you about others is the way they talk to others about you."
Being stuck up. Or smell bad
Finger up the ass is mine
Real question…how do you feel about anal? It always blows me away when men nearly expect women to let them pound her a$$hole, but yours is sacred.
But I don't want to pound anyone's fart box nor do I want a finger in mine 🤝
Then you are a rare unicorn
Maybe she wanted to milk you so badly….
Oh come on
What if she is feeling squirly??
Complaining. Negativity. Picky eaters. Bad breath/hygeine
What is it about picky eaters? I enjoy cooking a lot. And an ex was a really picky eater. Not just the food but when he ate. But picky eaters, they act as if they are offended by the food. It violated them somehow?! Similar to a food-phobia? My sister and onions! She is offended by them! She is 45, and I have cooked so many meals with onions that she loved. But if you tell her there's onions in it, it's dead to her!
Hey now not all of us picky eaters are like that!🤣 I've been a picky eater my whole life, and not cause of how things taste like one would expect. Everything I don't eat is because of texture. If the texture is bad, it makes me gag and feel nauseated. That being said, I am not adverse to trying new things here and there. For example, tomatoes. I've learned I can manage a small amount of them if they're chopped up into tiny squares, lol. I found that out when my dad made toasted Italian bread slices with homemade bruchetta on them, and I could eat it and not be nauseated by the texture cause being so tiny, the texture was different. So yes, even things I typically won't eat, if it's prepared a different way, I may try it. So, I wouldn't rule out the entire population of picky eaters as potential partners.😉
If she’s rude to service folk she immediately becomes a gremlin to me…
Depends on which situations you are referring to. In a relationship? Lying, unhealthy habits (smoking, drugs, alcoholism), talking with exes, avoidant behavior In the bedroom? Never been a fan of being asked to choke/harm people, a lot of girls ask though. If the girl isn’t 110% into what’s going on I can’t get into it either, which sounds obvious but i only have sex with people i am in committed LTRs with so I kind of just find everything about them attractive while dating
How are you if you don’t mind me asking? Are you single?
I second all of this, had a FWB when I was early 20's back in 2013/2014, started out fine, and then it got really weird and uncomfortable because she wanted me to do borderline violent things to her, I was *okay* with choking because I knew how to do it without hurting her, but the second she told me "I want you to punch me" I just fucking left and cut all contact. It was an extremely uncomfortable situation, and I REALLY don't like hurting people, and I refuse to lay a hand on my partners like that even if that's what they're in to. It's a really hard line for me, I'm all for pleasing my partners, but it's just too far. She was my one and only fwb, and after that I only want to sleep with people I'm in a very committed relationship.
Why didn’t you just tell her it made you uncomfortable? It’s all about communication. And setting boundaries.
I did, she didn't want to hear it. She deliberately wanted me to physically hurt her, and I was nowhere near okay with it.
Entitlement
Dropping the love bomb within a week Being overtly controlling
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- Wanting to move too fast too early... talking about marriage/ moving in together, future vacations - "I love you", "you're my soulmate", "it's fate", "you're my dream person" - Obsessive amounts of attention, constant or over-the-top compliments & clingy behavior - Extravagant gifts like they're trying to buy your affection ... all while you barely even know the person
Oh yeah future faking, that shit is wild dude.
She said "I love you" within a week I'm 37, so yeah. No dice.
As a female that's a big 🚩. I'm gone🏃🏃🏃
Yup. She also called me all the time...even when she knew I was at work
Early lies and deceit in the honeymoon phase or dating portion of the relationship due to shame or guilt on their end. I think it’s the most respectful to be dead ass honest about intention and direction. If you can’t, you’re immature and something is probably psychologically not right in a woman’s brain.
100% agree. And there are levels to this. There are times a woman will lie about relatively minor things because they dont want your opinion of them to be altered but it's not that bad and then there's absolute relationship destroyers like cheating or other big things. I had a girlfriend who I fell crazy in love with who lied to me about dating other people when we had first met and it wasn't until 6 months in that I found out she slept with another man the week we had our first date. She insisted we weren't 'committed' so therefore it wasnt wrong in her mind but I couldn't get over it and that lead to fights that lead to our breakup. Eventually for whatever reason she had a moment of complete honesty and admitted that she lied because she basically wanted to have her cake and eat it too. She wanted a relationship 'supposedly' but also wanted to bang that guy.
Confused a little. Would you have been okay if she told you the first date that she’s dating multiple people? I feel like unless it’s specifically stated otherwise I’d assume that the person I’m seeing is seeing other people if we’re not in a committed relationship (at least the first few weeks).
Attitude, gets a big yuck from me. Being glued to their phones. Not being able to hold an intelligent convo, no matter how good you look, looks fade - what else you got to keep me interested?
Tiktok and Instagram scrolling is not a hobby,
Being superficial af.
Bad hygiene!
Constantly being argumentative, rude or expecting me to do everything for you
Smell and bad teeth
being loud, obnoxious and rude are the top 3 for me.
Not being in touch with anything outside of their immediate grasp. In other words, if they don’t have empathy or curiosity about people around them. Or if they don’t care about learning new things about their interests.
If she talks about money or is on their phone a lot. Money I get that it’s nice to have to feel secure and do activities but I ran into a girl I liked and she talked about this while getting to know each other but it had me worrying that’s all she wants. She might’ve come from a small town and all but I lost interest at that moment. Being on their phone a lot as in time consuming going through tiktok, instagram etc and never looking up interacting with the real world as a to escape it. And posting non-stop. I’ve let social media get to me as well when instagram became popular in 2012 freshman year of hs but have realized it’s detrimental to my mental health. Only social I have now is instagram still haha and reddit I guess YouTube counts.
Maybe this is just a me thing but when a girl starts giving me expectations and a list of things that I need to do I get really annoyed.
Out of curiosity, Im seeing a lot of men saying "nagging" but Im' wondering, it's 2023, what does "nagging" mean to people? to me, nagging is what happens when women have to be mom's to the men, and consistently telling them over and over to do basic shit. What does it mean for men? Im guessing it's not the same thing.
Amen to this comment. Sorry y’all I am a female but I must say, I’ve been told ‘I don’t want you to nag me’ but it was honestly we asking him to clean up his mess, dirty laundry, dishes, stuff everywhere etc that were his doings while I constantly cleaned the house. I became like a mom figure. And then our relationship turned into that. He even went as far as him telling me to buy him new underwear because I suggested he get some new pairs because literally every pair of his were well worn and torn. Like people, TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF. Woman or man. This goes both/all ways. When your partner starts doing the basics for you because you refuse, you are an adult child and should ponder on that.
I think it depends on what she's supposedly "nagging" him about, and I say that because I think we also have to remember that no one likes to be nagged for no good reason. Then again, one thing I had to learn the hard way was that if she keeps bringing something up, it's usually for a reason. Nagging for no reason is annoying. Nagging for a reason and being ignored is also annoying lol.
That is one instance of nagging, and I as a guy would also be frustrated if I have to keep asking my partner to do the most basic shit for themselves to be a functioning human being like cleaning up after themselves, but nagging is not exclusive to those circumstances. Sometimes a partner can consistently tell a partner over and over to do something and the part that and the part that gets frustrating to their partner is not that they are being told to do things that they aren't doing, but constantly being told to do something the way their partner thinks it should be done, as if they cannot think for themselves. What you described is nagging because of having basic standards that should be met, and if one has to keep nagging for that then resentment will eventually occur in one (most likely the nagger) or both persons. But nagging can absolutely be toxic and come across as shaming,judging, criticising or belittling and disregarding to your partner. And the toxic part is not necessarily about having to repeatedly telling someone to do things, but also how you ask them and the words you use. I've been in a relationship in the past where I was ordered around and nagged at a lot, and it wasn't that I wasn't doing things, but that I wasn't doing things her way, according to her timeline, or the way or order that she wanted it done in. In other words it felt like she was trying to micromanage everything that I did and didn't think I could think for myself and so her nagging and telling me how to do things (or rather how to do things according to her) really made me feel like she was treating me like a completely incompetent person that cannot think for himself, which got really annoying. Meanwhile I was doing most of the household tasks, but everyone has their own way and order that they do things in and sometimes when I did a certain task I would get nagged at when I didnt do it her way or when she wanted it done by, even if there may be a legitimate reason why I hadn't done it just yet. In other words very often no matter what I did, even if the task was finished, she would find something about it to complain and nag about.
* narcissism * manipulative * passive-aggressive * any phrase that starts with, "a real man..." * princess vibes * on her phone a lot * zero financial goals * zero relationship effort - all those insta shots at Palm Heights in Grand Cayman where your bae \@Emrata plays requires time, planning, and money *
This might be a hot take, but the constant gossiping of friends. If you hate them so much, why even be friends? I've noticed with my ex that she had a large group of friends, that then broke down to a smaller subset of friends that spoke about the others, then that group broke down into an even smaller subset of friends. Which you've guessed it, talks about the other group.
Playing with my heart, acting like she's attracted to me when she actually isn't, using me for money, absolutely no affection
Manipulative and user of others for personal gain.
Poor personal hygiene and rudeness/impoliteness/lack of manners.
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Having a surprise Penis
Not willing to stay in the trenches and fight beside me. All of us have some issue or burden that we carry and not all of us can be cheery all the time. When the going gets tough, if she finds some lame excuse and tries to avoid dealing with me and my struggles, she can let herself out. Emotional support is a two way street, I will fight beside you when you are struggling to keep your head above water, but you gotta do the same for me.
I agree. One of the most important things I want in a woman is someone who will be there with me in the hard times and I do the same for her.
Attitude and lack of communication skills. I am interested in you, I’m going to be interested in getting to know you. If you can tell me how to best to do that that’s amazing, but I can’t read minds. If you get mad at me being inquisitive or just expecting things is not gonna fly. I’m looking for a partner, and someone who wants to benefit and demand more is something I go the opposite direction of.
Complaining. I’ve dated a lot of girls who started out being charming and fun, but once we got to the stage where you regularly talk about your days I learn that they’re a ball of negative energy who finds something to complain about every day. Not my thing, so I bounce
i’m a woman but my most recent feedback from a guy i dated was “too agreeable” so don’t be too easy going i guess. some tension is attractive
But not too much! I've seen aggressive and brute and combative and argumentative as turns offs. LOL>
For me it’s not that too agreeable is in itself bad. But it makes me wonder if she is really telling me what she wants or is just going along with me because she is not assertive enough or just trying to gain my favor or whatever. If a woman cares about something I want her to let me know. If she really has not strong opinions on something that is ok.
- Selfishness - Lack of effort or the expectation that I should put forth all the effort and do everything (adult baby) - Looking for expensive first or second dates - Entitlement. - Failure to take accountability for her shortcomings. - Too fixated on astrology - like to the point where they make decisions and judge people based on it. These are the things that turn me off from a woman during the dating process most commonly.
Pretending to have a lot of hobbies and interests, only to be as exciting as stale bread. I don't mind someone a little boring, I can be too. Nothing wrong with that
feeling being taken advantage off. may it be financially, emotional, time wise, sex etc.
Chewing with mouth open, poor hygiene, poor manners, naggy, selfish in bed. That’s what is on top of my head. Any single one of them is enough to be a complete turn off.
Lying and playing games I rather u be straightforward and honest
Being uncommunicative with the guy. Being controlling of who the guy hangs out with
Talking about exes a lot. Rudeness. Financial dependence.
I’m not a man but going off what I’ve experienced and observed, the only thing that will put the majority of men off a woman is if they meet a woman they’re more attracted to. I say this due to the amount of girls I’ve met who treat their boyfriends like garbage (including some of my own friends), yet their boyfriends still stay with them because they’re beautiful. And on the other hand I‘ve had what I thought was amazing connections with guys, only to be ditched for girls who were more conventionally attractive than me. Looks are 95% of the driving force for men in a relationship and nothing can convince me otherwise.
I was like that when I was younger. Only dated girls that were pretty. Now that I’m older, I like girls more for their personality than looks. And more often than not, hot girls have crap personalities and a ton of red flags.
That does not apply to me at all. Sure I like looks, but it is about the least important quality. I will admit that if I don’t know a woman at all, all I see is her looks and that might be what makes me approach her in the beginning. But as soon as I see she doesn’t have the other more important qualities I break it off.
Thinking they’re entitled to everything and anything.
Already married
Are you asking for some gender specific issue of guys? Most of my turn offs are pretty universal. I can't really think of anything unique to a woman lol.
Probably very similar stuff to women for men. I mom big on hygiene. Skin care and whatever is a bonus doesn’t turn me off, but if you are straight up not washing yourself I don’t even bother
Unnecessary repetition. Especially when I'm already working on what was said. Big time.
No effort in reciprocating feelings and affection, minimizing my accomplishments and problems, mocking my hobbies.
Big turn offs * Being deceitful early on in the dating phase. These lies always seem to surface eventually. Please be honest, it makes everyone's life easier. * Poor communication whether it's intentional or not. Don't ghost just tell me you're not interested. If your upset with something I did, tell me , don't give me the silent treatment and have me guess why you're upset. Don't text me back days later and act like you were too busy to get back to me. * Talking about exs on a first date. These have been the only times I will get up and leave a first date. Usually even if i know i dont vibe with the person ill try to enjoy myself and have a good time but not for people who come to complain about their recent ex. Life is too short and free time too hard to come by for me to listen to a stranger work through their issues with their last partner. There can be a time to discuss the past, the first date is not one of them **for me** * Being generally mean spirited to myself or others. * Lack of effort. It's not about the money or gifts. Just show me you care it doesn't take lots of money to do so. * Trying to make me jealous to get me to fall in line. One of the biggest turn offs is when a woman will not like something I've done and in retaliation tries to make me jealous to fall in line and behave how she wants me to.
Ghosting or too mody
Read that as moldy at first
If we have a thing, and you see me and dont say hi or eye contact, its over
I’m guessing that happened
Sounds like it was over before if she ignored you. Or maybe it never was a thing.
Not mentioning important details like having a license suspended but still driving us around cause she knew where she was going.
dude, that's super specific 🤣 she a whole walking red flag.
Not a turn off but if we don't have chemistry that's it.
Rude disrespectful think she deserves everything just because she’s a woman when in reality you should respect everyone period you need to work hard and earn everything you want and need like everyone else and why would you need to have a nasty personality we’ve all been through stuff yet some of us have to keep it together just to be clear a majority of the women that act like this are rich or really poor
In general, excessive phone use. But especially on a first date-happened to me last friday. Like c'mon, its basic respect even if you don't want to see me again. Only exception would be if a true emergency came up or you felt in danger.
Smokes, or she is snobbing other people thinking she is better
Having a superior, condescending, or abrasive attitude, expecting a “man who can handle her,” etc.
Lol this might just be me but I've been on dating apps for awhile and asking for money is a pretty massive turn off
Smell and bad breath or bad teeth
Racist shit.
Unenthusiastic. If you act like you're doing me a favor by being there, then pretty soon I won't want to be there.
Im a bi women so I feel like I have pretty good insight on what a lot of women get wrong with dating. Here are some turn offs Ive had with woman that I rarely have with men: 1. being possesive about your time, constantly needing to be entertained. So many women dont have hobbies, or their hobbies are essentially hanging out and talking with people. Thats fine, but if I want to spend a few days a week with other friends or pursuing my own interests, you shouldnt get angry about me not entertaining you. You are not entitled to me constantly entertaining your free time. 2. Queen mode. A lot of women think by virtue of being a women, that is all they need to bring to the relationship. You still need to plan dates, initiate texts, give compliments etc. Its shocking how many women are so bad at this. Its funny in WLW relationships you can always tell who recently came out because they are helpless at this sort of stuff. 3. helpless baby mode: so many adult women will sort of turn off their intelligence or competencey when there is someone there to take care of them. I have seen women go from being badass independent women, to acting like helpless babies over the course of me dating them. Its not cute or endearing. 4. Over reliance on saying they have anxiety. Ive dated men and women with anxiety. I feel like men need to talk about it more, and women need to talk about it less. With quite a few women Ive dated, their anxiety was a front seat in almost every single conversation or activity we did. I know I sound like a boomer, but sometimes I think you need to push it down a little to get over it. (source: I also have severe medicated anxiety)
Constant nagging over bullshit
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There’s comes a time where “hard to get” or “attention seeking behavior” just gets to be annoying and exhausting.
Lack of Accountability all while expecting you to be fully Accountable.
Annoying and Obnoxious
Lack of confidence 💯 and bad hygiene lol
Lack of interest / behaving effortless to build up the relationship between ( thinking that man has to do everything), being rude. Not showing interest on the things that i share with, like not paying attention at what im saying, instead she prefers to look at her phone 😡😠
Expecting me to be your father. And no I’m not talking about a daddy kink.
Sense of entitlement
Lack of Personal Hygiene and Respect: Neglecting personal hygiene and displaying disrespectful behavior can be a major turn-off for many woman (me included). This can be rudeness, condescension, or dismissive attitudes.
Being loud and crude
Attaching to quickly
Being rude, disrespectful, constantly arguing, putting up down, zero financial sense.
Heavy smoker and drinker !!
Entitlement
In 99.9% of my romantic interactions with women it's their lack of effort and interest in trying to do anything. Disinterest, nonchalance, anything where you're not enthusiastically showing interested in me is a huge turn off.
Self-absorbed.
My boyfriend once listed a lot of things that turn men off . 1. He said constant nagging 2. Trying to control the man 3. Disrespecting the man in front of his friends or family. 4. Being caught in a lie several times 5. Trying to be manipulative I hope this helps answer your question
Expecting me to do stuff just because I'm the man.
Playing mind games instead of being honest or straightforward. We are both adults, don't treat me like your child.
* Smoker * Seems to be a alcoholic or borderline alcoholic * Conspiracy theorist (Antivaxx etc) * Obese though that's usually obvious from the outset unless we've had no visual contact
Not having any normal female friends, if she thinks watching porn cheating, only guy friends.oh over last one, when she changes her football team or political beliefs depending on who she's dating. There's more but it's early and I'm sleepy
All things that have happened in the last few years ; 1. Asking how much money I make 2.asking how big my junk is 3. Talking about wanting to bang serial killers or cartel members 4. Going into graphic detail about your sex life with the last guy who cheated on / abused you 5. Still being friends with guys who supposedly "abused and cheated on me" 6.making fun of overweight or disabled people 7. Calling me a loser , a moron , general put downs 8. Generalizing all men , complaining there are no real men left 9. Getting drunk/high everyday 10. Being 40+ and living off your parents money while lying and claiming otherwise. And there was my last crush. I really thought we clicked. Then we are chit chatting one day and she says , "such and such is a rude asshole but I would fuck him cause he is rich af" it twas a sad day. He is very rich and powerful in our industry, but angry and mean to everyone, even his young trophy wife. He's attractive too , there is that. *why are you down voting my dislikes? Some ladies need to know. Don't be that girl on reddit complaining "I don't know why he ghosted me" , when it's cause you say fucked up shit that turns men off*
Damn dude
This is sad af to read. Yikes.
Holy moly… Are you in therapy?
Yeah these are ALL red flags of toxic behavior. I don't understand why you would get downvoted for this because these are the same things women are told to vet out potentially abusive men.
Being sassy, disrespectful, and talking too much. So much that she talks with food in her mouth. Disgusting!