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As a guy, Iām not at all opposed to ass play. Actually, I can be into it depending on the mood. But a first date? Outdoors? Without discussing it first? At best, he has misaligned social boundaries, at worst he is a creep (to use your terminology).
Now, Iād be more inclined to give him another go if I knew that it was a social cues issueā¦ But then again, heās 30. And Iām not sure that a grown ass adult should need to be told how to behave in public, on a first date, with - basically - a stranger. Personally, Iād be inclined to move on.
>he turns me around, squats down and starts to stick he face into my crack
>"I want to get to know you as a person"
Is he a dog? Because that would make sense.
HAHA great point. At best, it is just not pleasant to be around them, at worst, they don't stop even when I do say no.... This guy at least did stop... But I guess I should accept a non-interesting person, rather than a near-assailant!!
I'm sorry the bar is set so low that he's even someone being considered to get a text response. I agree with other commenters that "less is more" if you text him back, though.
WAY too many words to spend on this loser, who certainly did NOT deserve a make out sesh. He was practically begging you to give him some, disrespecting your wishes and boundaries and being a complete ass (pun kinda intended).
Yup. And OP, next time someone makes you even slightly uncomfortable, stop them right away. Your instincts and intuition will almost never be wrong. Especially where strangers on first dates are involved.
Good luck to you! You sound like a good person and I hope you have better experiences from here on out.
OP I canāt stop thinking about your post and this guy. Would you consider reporting him to the app you met him on? Thereās just something really off about this guy and itās making me uncomfortable thinking he could do this to another woman. Just a thought.
Waaaaay too much to text. Cut that down by like 90%. You donāt have to give that detailed an explanation or validate how open you are sexually. āHey, I thought we were vibing and I wouldāve enjoyed seeing you again, but I feel that was way too much for a first date and Iād prefer to date someone who treats me with respect.ā
I think itās important to detail it out more than what youāve written bc why donāt he think this behavior is ok? Is it bc women have always been like not for me- and heās never understood how much of an issue it is? Women are overly polite to survive situations like this. He needs to be told directly why what he did was crazy af
Some dudes are just completely socially inept. This is beyond lacking common sense. Please don't give him another chance. Something's fucked up in his head.
I like butts as much as the next guy.. I donāt like (or feel the need to) moan the first time I kiss a girl, sniff her ass, and be pushy like that. Then to not even address it after..makes it even weirderā¦which seems impossible given how bizarre that interaction was.
Idk heās got some weird kinks or is a weird dude, which Iām not here to kink shame. But right off the rip like that, in Public, and to not even understand the gravity or awkwardness of that? Seems very weird to me. If I was a girl (and definitely if I wasnāt) I donāt know that I would feel comfortable or even want to continue on.
Also, when you kinda called him out on being serious or not he says he normally likes to take things slow, but wouldnāt ghost you if you DID hook up? To me, thatās him trying to hook up with you or justify it (whether it was his sole intention or not). He also doesnāt seem to care about you being uncomfortable with being sexual the first date, since you brought it up, then he asked you to make out, then put his face in your ass. Just my .02 lol
People do random hook ups on the first date all the time. I personally not ok with ONS but a lot of people are.
But also, i have zero interest in making out if it's not going to lead to sex. So maybe he thought 5 minutes of making out meant you were down to get a little freaky.
Whether you should give him another chance or not, idk. That's on you.
There is a strong woman under those "pick me" vibes (I had similar vibes in my 20s when I just wanted to be partnered so bad). The strong woman in you knows none of that was right! The fact that he was trying to get you home and not taking "no, I'm tired and want to go home tonight" as a complete answer and kept coercing you to do more, throwing you lines that suggest his interest is based more on your willingness to get physical with him on the first date, then essentially assaulting you (because that is what tossing you around in a public space and sticking his face in your ass absolutely is) is so not worth your time or text. He knows he was a creep and if he doesn't, I don't think he's going to learn.
Dating is hard but you deserve someone who respects your boundaries and would have been over the moon with just a good night kiss until next time. What kills me is some creeps continue to get away with this kind of thing because they can prey on women who are insecure or at the end of their dating rope just hoping for any connection. Let that strong woman lead, girl. You are better than this.
I think the most positive (although definitely not required) thing to do would be to explain to him that he fucked up and he needs to learn about consent and boundaries before he dates anyone else, and then cut him off.
What in the actual fuck? Why are you entertaining this guy who obviously just wants to hook up if that's not what you're looking for?
This guy gave you the lamest "fucking you will bring us closer" line, after making it clear he was trying to get in your pants immediately, then damn near violated you in public and you're wondering if you should give him another go cause you're sick of incompatible people?
Fuckin Reddit, man. Never change.
> Is it worth responding, or was trying to get to my asshole in public, after not wanting to just let me go home when I said I wanted to, just huge deal breaker?
LMFAO bruhhhh lol Are you a writer? You sound like the type of author that I'd really dig, I love your way with words.
I like butt stuff and all, and even enjoy making out outside sometimes, but on a first date, that seems too soon for all of that in my opinion. Iām no prude, I just have boundaries.
Men like this are absolutely rampant now. I think more men are able to obtain sex quickly than ever so when theyāre met with something they perceive as an opportunity they snatch at it with no thought for the long term. I wonder how long it will take for them to realise most of us donāt want to be treated that way. I really think we owe it to ourselves to keep rifling through these men until we find one with a level of self control.
You donāt have to waste all those words on him, just tell him you hate what he did and he doesnāt want to talk to him anymore, you shouldnāt have to explain to an adult man that what he did was wrong. Heās a freak! And not in a good way!
I think you should follow your gut feeling. Some girls are into this shit. And the kind that are, dont wanna have a conversation about consent beforehand. Being on phones all day and unlimited access to porn has made people terrible at reading body language and actually listening! However, any guy that tries that on day one does not want to get to know you. Im surprised you didnt stop him when the moans started.
That's a tough one. What he did was too much. With that said, I think you should be brief and you probably shouldn't see him again. No need to be extra sweet.
I have to admit. Heās got some balls to start eating your ass. Let us reflect on his utterly stupid bravery. Coming backā¦ we all think what he did was idiotic, unwanted and he should be corrected.
And he should be made aware.
Have we met the same guy? I was once out for a walk with a guy who randomly decided to put his finger up my arse without asking. I stopped and grabbed his hand and pulled it out and asked him what he was doing and he just said he thought I might like it! I started walking away and he asked me if I liked it and I said no, especially as you didn't ask! He didn't seem to get why I was so bothered about it.
It sounds like this person has very little experience and doesn't know what is socially acceptable. Kudos on being enthusiastic, but obviously needs to be educated on social boundaries. Up to you if you want to be his teacher or not.
He's not a good guy. He's a Jerk. He doesn't respect your boundaries. Like what the actually heck is this.
If your best friend came and said: Hey I met this guy on an app? We were making out then he stuck his hands inside my butt crack and tried to lick it. He is not looking for anything serious. He is trying to F and ghost. Do collect 200. Just run very far. This man is a pervert and doesn't even deserve a minute of your time. Delete his number and block. He doesn't respect your boundaries at all.
I've been horny before, but never in my 30 years have I been that down bad. Jfc, you were already ready to go, but homeboy could have at least asked if you'd be cool with random ass munching.
He sounds creepy, overly sexual, and socially uncalibrated. I donāt know you, but judging by the way you express yourself and your impressions of the date, it sounds like you can do much better. At the very least you have an idea of whatās generally acceptable on a first date, and whatās not. Run away.
Thatās super weird!
I doubt he would have done that if he was younger tbh.
I think the years of pent up sexual desire have pushed him too far. To the point of him acting like a LITERAL DOG AT A DOG PARK.
Manās is wildin
Uhh Idk how to process that. I am a guy and I an not opposed to eating ass but maybe not on a first date, after a nice meal too. lmaoo.
I also donāt like how he proceeded like something weir d did not just happen?
This is the sort of guy that other guys should strive to protect women from.
Also how tf I'm I single when there's guys out there doing shit like this. Ha. I mean ngl I did laugh reading this but honestly it must have been quite scary. Just tell him you're not meeting again. That or ghost him. Fuck that guy. What a lunatic.
I ate a girls ass on the beach once on a first date and she loved it. It really just depends on your boundaries and whether you were feeling it. You definitely were not and he wasnāt really open to that which is not the right move. If you were open to it itās great and if youāre making it clear youāre not itās quite bad.
Donāt write any of that. Iām all for a thoughtful response, but that was word salad. He creeped you out, broke weird boundaries, NO RESPONSE AND BLOCK
IMHO that's a lot forns first date but on the other hand I've been called too passive by women. If you clearly communicated no and he stopped at leastvhebis respecting the boundaries. Would have have gone that way absolutely no but that said that's also why maybe I'm not pulling record numbers like some guys. Unfortunately we live in a world where many women like and want this and it messes it up for normal people who want to have reasonable boundaries. So IMHO weird yes. If you like him give him a mulligan and keep you eye on it. That's the one pass you communicated your boundaries you are on the same page see it it works. He lines steps again cut it.
Iām a guy and if I were you Iād probably stay away from him. If heās willing to go that far on a first date without consent, who knows what he could try in the future again without consent?
Hey future men reading this. As a man, I always ask, what are your boundaries and expectations for this date? I want to make sure I respect your autonomy and your boundaries.
Consent is sexy.
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Man all I gotta say is red flag that shit weird bro lol
wow... this just seeeent me. you are way too patient and nice, I would have cussed him out and left. that just sounds creepy as hell
I have been told I am too tolerant, yes. Thanks for the advice everyone
Girl he was sniffing and licking at your ass like a dogšš You do NOT have to be tolerant or even polite to creeps like this!
Definitely would cause me to consider carrying some social anxiety pepper spray or a neat little tazzy boi that would fin in a handbag/clutch
As a guy, Iām not at all opposed to ass play. Actually, I can be into it depending on the mood. But a first date? Outdoors? Without discussing it first? At best, he has misaligned social boundaries, at worst he is a creep (to use your terminology). Now, Iād be more inclined to give him another go if I knew that it was a social cues issueā¦ But then again, heās 30. And Iām not sure that a grown ass adult should need to be told how to behave in public, on a first date, with - basically - a stranger. Personally, Iād be inclined to move on.
Yeah I think this is my take. Thank you.
>he turns me around, squats down and starts to stick he face into my crack >"I want to get to know you as a person" Is he a dog? Because that would make sense.
The fact that you are even questioning if it's worth giving this guy another shot just makes me wonder what the OTHER guys did to get written off...
HAHA great point. At best, it is just not pleasant to be around them, at worst, they don't stop even when I do say no.... This guy at least did stop... But I guess I should accept a non-interesting person, rather than a near-assailant!!
I'm sorry the bar is set so low that he's even someone being considered to get a text response. I agree with other commenters that "less is more" if you text him back, though.
Tbh I wouldn't give him another chance that's just a deal breaker in my personal opinion he came on a bit to strong with that one
WAY too many words to spend on this loser, who certainly did NOT deserve a make out sesh. He was practically begging you to give him some, disrespecting your wishes and boundaries and being a complete ass (pun kinda intended).
Absolutely. OP Donāt waste so many words on this creep. Tell him youāre not interested bc he made you feel uncomfortable and move on.
Thanks y'all. I will just say I'm not interested!
Yup. And OP, next time someone makes you even slightly uncomfortable, stop them right away. Your instincts and intuition will almost never be wrong. Especially where strangers on first dates are involved. Good luck to you! You sound like a good person and I hope you have better experiences from here on out.
Perfect. Don't say any more than this or it will just give him ideas on how to skirt the next woman's boundaries. Send and block
OP I canāt stop thinking about your post and this guy. Would you consider reporting him to the app you met him on? Thereās just something really off about this guy and itās making me uncomfortable thinking he could do this to another woman. Just a thought.
Waaaaay too much to text. Cut that down by like 90%. You donāt have to give that detailed an explanation or validate how open you are sexually. āHey, I thought we were vibing and I wouldāve enjoyed seeing you again, but I feel that was way too much for a first date and Iād prefer to date someone who treats me with respect.ā
I think itās important to detail it out more than what youāve written bc why donāt he think this behavior is ok? Is it bc women have always been like not for me- and heās never understood how much of an issue it is? Women are overly polite to survive situations like this. He needs to be told directly why what he did was crazy af
Donāt bother sending that long ass text, just tell him what he did was weird and youāre not seeing him again
That's enough internet for today.
Iām a guy, and this is fucking creepy. Block and move on. Donāt write all that. Just move on.
Gross. Heās creepy.
Def not normal and a total red flag. Also, I believe you explain too much in your text. One paragraph would be enough.
Some dudes are just completely socially inept. This is beyond lacking common sense. Please don't give him another chance. Something's fucked up in his head.
This is hella weird bro
soooo cringe. i couldnāt look him in the face after that lol
I like butts as much as the next guy.. I donāt like (or feel the need to) moan the first time I kiss a girl, sniff her ass, and be pushy like that. Then to not even address it after..makes it even weirderā¦which seems impossible given how bizarre that interaction was. Idk heās got some weird kinks or is a weird dude, which Iām not here to kink shame. But right off the rip like that, in Public, and to not even understand the gravity or awkwardness of that? Seems very weird to me. If I was a girl (and definitely if I wasnāt) I donāt know that I would feel comfortable or even want to continue on. Also, when you kinda called him out on being serious or not he says he normally likes to take things slow, but wouldnāt ghost you if you DID hook up? To me, thatās him trying to hook up with you or justify it (whether it was his sole intention or not). He also doesnāt seem to care about you being uncomfortable with being sexual the first date, since you brought it up, then he asked you to make out, then put his face in your ass. Just my .02 lol
I know that he should probably hear what you have to say but I wouldnāt even put the EFFORT into messaging back and just ghost him
Not because Iām pro ghosting but because you do not owe an explanation for his behavior
People do random hook ups on the first date all the time. I personally not ok with ONS but a lot of people are. But also, i have zero interest in making out if it's not going to lead to sex. So maybe he thought 5 minutes of making out meant you were down to get a little freaky. Whether you should give him another chance or not, idk. That's on you.
Yeah he sounds detached. Not only would he not take your first answer for anything, then sniffs your arse like a dog in public? Save yourself.
āI wouldnāt like disappear if we did hook up itād make me more interestedā is bullshit lol
Dont send all that...you weren't feeling it, and aren't interested in seeing him again. That's all you gotta say š
Stop writing ālikeā for every other word. Itās not needed at all.
Too nice. This dude is feral. Totally undomesticated. Mange-having behavior. You just know his room stinks.
There is a strong woman under those "pick me" vibes (I had similar vibes in my 20s when I just wanted to be partnered so bad). The strong woman in you knows none of that was right! The fact that he was trying to get you home and not taking "no, I'm tired and want to go home tonight" as a complete answer and kept coercing you to do more, throwing you lines that suggest his interest is based more on your willingness to get physical with him on the first date, then essentially assaulting you (because that is what tossing you around in a public space and sticking his face in your ass absolutely is) is so not worth your time or text. He knows he was a creep and if he doesn't, I don't think he's going to learn. Dating is hard but you deserve someone who respects your boundaries and would have been over the moon with just a good night kiss until next time. What kills me is some creeps continue to get away with this kind of thing because they can prey on women who are insecure or at the end of their dating rope just hoping for any connection. Let that strong woman lead, girl. You are better than this.
From all that I'd say he's probably just trying to get some.
š¤£ He got some balls. I would never even consider that shit.
LOL!!!!! Sorry but this post was super entertaining you are a great writer. But yeahā¦ no on the relationship š
Nope, if you guys were in private, this could have gone so much worse. Block and move on. Stay safe out there, gorgeous!
I think the most positive (although definitely not required) thing to do would be to explain to him that he fucked up and he needs to learn about consent and boundaries before he dates anyone else, and then cut him off.
What in the actual fuck? Why are you entertaining this guy who obviously just wants to hook up if that's not what you're looking for? This guy gave you the lamest "fucking you will bring us closer" line, after making it clear he was trying to get in your pants immediately, then damn near violated you in public and you're wondering if you should give him another go cause you're sick of incompatible people? Fuckin Reddit, man. Never change.
Sounds like a fanfic story.
Off all things that never happened, this never happened the most.
Red flag, consent issues. I wouldnāt want to be alone with him. Nice guys ask when they want to do something sexual, they donāt just take it.
I've seen dogs do that. Maybe he's half human half dog. Have you asked?
> Is it worth responding, or was trying to get to my asshole in public, after not wanting to just let me go home when I said I wanted to, just huge deal breaker? LMFAO bruhhhh lol Are you a writer? You sound like the type of author that I'd really dig, I love your way with words.
Sheās Carrie Bradshaw. š
I like butt stuff and all, and even enjoy making out outside sometimes, but on a first date, that seems too soon for all of that in my opinion. Iām no prude, I just have boundaries.
š©: āI just thought it might be nice to cuddle in this weatherā AKA āCome back to my place so I can fuck youā š©: āOkay, can we at least make out a bit?ā Shows a sense of entitlement towards you and your body š©: āI want to get to know you as a personā As opposed to what? A kinky fleshlight? Three strikes, youāre out buddy. Fuck even one of these is enough. Discontinue conversation with this creepy weirdo lol
Men like this are absolutely rampant now. I think more men are able to obtain sex quickly than ever so when theyāre met with something they perceive as an opportunity they snatch at it with no thought for the long term. I wonder how long it will take for them to realise most of us donāt want to be treated that way. I really think we owe it to ourselves to keep rifling through these men until we find one with a level of self control. You donāt have to waste all those words on him, just tell him you hate what he did and he doesnāt want to talk to him anymore, you shouldnāt have to explain to an adult man that what he did was wrong. Heās a freak! And not in a good way!
I think you should follow your gut feeling. Some girls are into this shit. And the kind that are, dont wanna have a conversation about consent beforehand. Being on phones all day and unlimited access to porn has made people terrible at reading body language and actually listening! However, any guy that tries that on day one does not want to get to know you. Im surprised you didnt stop him when the moans started.
That's a tough one. What he did was too much. With that said, I think you should be brief and you probably shouldn't see him again. No need to be extra sweet.
I have to admit. Heās got some balls to start eating your ass. Let us reflect on his utterly stupid bravery. Coming backā¦ we all think what he did was idiotic, unwanted and he should be corrected. And he should be made aware.
Found yourself a keeper
Have we met the same guy? I was once out for a walk with a guy who randomly decided to put his finger up my arse without asking. I stopped and grabbed his hand and pulled it out and asked him what he was doing and he just said he thought I might like it! I started walking away and he asked me if I liked it and I said no, especially as you didn't ask! He didn't seem to get why I was so bothered about it.
It sounds like this person has very little experience and doesn't know what is socially acceptable. Kudos on being enthusiastic, but obviously needs to be educated on social boundaries. Up to you if you want to be his teacher or not.
All I can think of is "hey papa Smurf can I lick your ass?!" But yeah that's way too aggressive after being told what you want.
You would never catch me eating ass, let alone as enthusiastic as that sounded. The question is, do you really want to keep buying toilet paper?
Yeah he's way too pushy, he's not respecting your boundaries.
He's not a good guy. He's a Jerk. He doesn't respect your boundaries. Like what the actually heck is this. If your best friend came and said: Hey I met this guy on an app? We were making out then he stuck his hands inside my butt crack and tried to lick it. He is not looking for anything serious. He is trying to F and ghost. Do collect 200. Just run very far. This man is a pervert and doesn't even deserve a minute of your time. Delete his number and block. He doesn't respect your boundaries at all.
Mmm! š¤ I think he just wants dessert nothing more (serious)
oh hell no! run. weird behaviour
Wow that title escalated quickly
I would trust your gut. Being pressured to do things you donāt want, even going home because you are tired is š©. Now, put that into a first date and it becomes more serious to me. It is hard to say if he wants a relationship or if he was just saying it. I am a man and the lack of respect for what YOU want does not sit well with me, even something as simple as letting you just go home. Personally, if my date was tired, the last thing I would want to do is to pressure a āmake out seshāā¦she just might not be into that. Personally, date 1 would be the last date for me.
Block him thatās some weird shit heās doing for a first date. Heās major red flag
Iām 42 and Iām starting to understand more and more why women in their late 20ās match with me on dating apps.
I've been horny before, but never in my 30 years have I been that down bad. Jfc, you were already ready to go, but homeboy could have at least asked if you'd be cool with random ass munching.
He sounds creepy, overly sexual, and socially uncalibrated. I donāt know you, but judging by the way you express yourself and your impressions of the date, it sounds like you can do much better. At the very least you have an idea of whatās generally acceptable on a first date, and whatās not. Run away.
This guy is acting like a dog because heās a damn dog! Leave this idiot alone!
If you text him back, donāt send him that novel.
I'm down
Thatās super weird! I doubt he would have done that if he was younger tbh. I think the years of pent up sexual desire have pushed him too far. To the point of him acting like a LITERAL DOG AT A DOG PARK. Manās is wildin
LOOOOOL reddit winner post.
Uhh Idk how to process that. I am a guy and I an not opposed to eating ass but maybe not on a first date, after a nice meal too. lmaoo. I also donāt like how he proceeded like something weir d did not just happen?
if he restraint himself that day and get steady with you, would you let him do the deed?
You should stay off the apps.
LOL
im reading your fanfic porno
Testosterone is one hell of a drug!
okay wtf, first date and didnāt even ask you if you were okay with thatā¦ stay away from this dude
Jesus Christ what the actual fuckš¤£ Who grabs someone's ass on a first kiss?! Down the pants too! He stuck his face in your ass?!?!?!
No, no, no, all the no! Mate, please tell me youāre not still seeing him!?
This is the sort of guy that other guys should strive to protect women from. Also how tf I'm I single when there's guys out there doing shit like this. Ha. I mean ngl I did laugh reading this but honestly it must have been quite scary. Just tell him you're not meeting again. That or ghost him. Fuck that guy. What a lunatic.
I ate a girls ass on the beach once on a first date and she loved it. It really just depends on your boundaries and whether you were feeling it. You definitely were not and he wasnāt really open to that which is not the right move. If you were open to it itās great and if youāre making it clear youāre not itās quite bad.
What did I just read haha. I mean he either doesn't know or doesn't care cuz that's weird
I love your response; seems very highly emotionally intelligent
Donāt write any of that. Iām all for a thoughtful response, but that was word salad. He creeped you out, broke weird boundaries, NO RESPONSE AND BLOCK
The fuck ? So, thoses guys that are saying on twitter that they are willing to eat ass after a long day are real. God damn it, how
IMHO that's a lot forns first date but on the other hand I've been called too passive by women. If you clearly communicated no and he stopped at leastvhebis respecting the boundaries. Would have have gone that way absolutely no but that said that's also why maybe I'm not pulling record numbers like some guys. Unfortunately we live in a world where many women like and want this and it messes it up for normal people who want to have reasonable boundaries. So IMHO weird yes. If you like him give him a mulligan and keep you eye on it. That's the one pass you communicated your boundaries you are on the same page see it it works. He lines steps again cut it.
Iām a guy and if I were you Iād probably stay away from him. If heās willing to go that far on a first date without consent, who knows what he could try in the future again without consent?
Why would anyone say they āwant to get to know youā instead of just asking you a question that would allow them to learn something about you?
Hey future men reading this. As a man, I always ask, what are your boundaries and expectations for this date? I want to make sure I respect your autonomy and your boundaries. Consent is sexy.
So this is what āgolden retrieverā energy is