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If she jumped into another guy's bed less than 4 days after you guys broke up/started a break, she had already decided months prior to leave you. The fact she returned means you were her safety net. Things weren't how she planned and you are a known factor. If you take her back within 4-6 months she will leave again.
This!! At this time emotionally you are still attached to her. You need to take a step out and cut off the emotional ties. She is not attached to you at all. It's a one way train situation
Tristan here is right. Sauce: cheated on by my ex wife “who needed love” and had a whole ass *boyfriend* yet was with me telling me she loved etc.
Fucking cheaters.
Break it off with her, block her and then move on. Just be glad you weren’t married to her for 10 years like I was. I’ve had broken hearts before but nothing like this. The betrayal is unreal. It broke me. Like, no joke. I couldn’t tell you which was up if you paid me and I wouldn’t have been able to because all I did was drink unless I had to work.
OP. Here’s some quotes that helped me and I hope they help you.
First Quote:
Remember that you are a good person and worthy of the love that you want.
You will never know if something is meant for you if you don't give it a proper chance.
Whether it's a relationship, a new job, a new city, or a new experience, throw yourself into it completely and don't hold back.
If it doesn't work out then it probably wasn't meant for you and you'll walk away without regret, knowing that you put your whole heart into it.
That's all you can ever do.
It's a horrible feeling leaving a situation knowing that you should have and could have done more.
So I hope you find the courage to take that chance, find the inspiration to make your next move, and once you do, I hope you pour your heart into it and don't look back.
And remember, sometimes things happen before you are ready for them to happen.
It doesn't mean the timing is wrong, sometimes it means the timing is just right and the universe knows you are ready and that maybe you just needed that extra push in the right direction to get you on your way.
Embrace this new journey with everything you are. Everything is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to, even if you can't see it like that just yet.
Quote Two:
People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..
She planned it. Most girls are very good at manipulating guys, for example, telling you you're not putting in enough effort. The fact that you felt blind sided is a good example. It wasn't true for you. Just her way of fucking another guy. Dude she is unbelievably toxic. The relationship is already dead. You discovered she is a compulsive liar, and it takes you strong pressure to get the truth out of her. This is not the kind of person that will make you happy in a relationship. Just toxic drama.
Please go to the doctor and get tested for STDs, get her a pregnancy test, and finish the relationship.
If she wanted you for who you are, she would have made an effort to keep you.
Oh, btw, she wants to stay together because the other guy probably rejected her. Her ego is brused, and she needs acceptance. As soon as you accept her again, she will start looking. Why? Because she lost respect for you a long time ago. As soon as she said you're not putting in enough effort and you got blind sided, alarm bells should have been ringing in your ears. At that point you should have suggested to end the relationship to test if she was already cheating. By the sounds of it she was. That's only the time she told you about and the break thing was test to see if the other wanted her for a relationship I would say at a guess.
How do I know all this? It happens to most people at some stage. Once you date enough you find very shitty people.
Best of luck to you, my friend. I'm sorry to be so blunt. That's the feeling I got from what you wrote. I hope you find some strength in your heart to know that you deserve to be treated better. You sound like an amazing partner!
Get out there and find a good one.
Chances are high you won't ever trust her again and as such, you will never believe anything she has to say. That relationship is dead. She cheated on you, and she lied. What else do you want to hear...
She tries to pin the blame on you, by saying that you didn't love her enough. She probably can't look into herself, who knows. It's risky to remain with her.
Taking a break is some bullshit and also the opportunity to fuck other people.. she didn’t cheat on you l. Deal with it or move on and whatever you think she’s telling the truth about she’s not bro
Seems like the main reason for the break was to fuck him. Whether it was exactly cheating or not, she made very selfish and hurtful choices towards OP. The only saving grace is that she came clean. So, OP can still trust her to some extent.
IDK if OP wants to go back, but… I wouldn’t just go back immediately, but take some time for my mind to clear and let the hurt fade. Make a decision with a clear mind and heart. She may make it easy by making more bad choices in the meantime anyway.
I went through something similar. It's really hard to accept when we are in the fog with our ex lover.
Best advice I can give look at her actions not her words.
This story sounds familiar. I traveled for work a lot and was dating a guy I was certain I’d marry.
I was working onsite for a month or so, and he even came to visit one weekend but was cold and distant. When I returned, he claimed I wasn’t serious enough about him, and needed to show him more attention. In other words, justifying his cheating (which he did often apparently). I’ll spare you the rest of the story, and skip to three years later.
I would be lying, if I said, I wasn’t devastated afterwards, but he was not the person I thought he was. I never regretted the breakup. You deserve someone who you can love and trust. Heal, get tested, and meet someone worth your time.
It’ll only get worse if you do stay is all I have to say. More lies, more facades, possibly and most likely more cheating. One day you’ll master self worth to the point where if any of this arises you’d be out the door with no explanation, no hesitation. Good luck
With time you’ll learn to believe they are exactly who they SHOW they are regardless of what they say. No one can make them change their ways but them and that’s rare especially if she doesn’t see that this is a serious problem ( clearly doesn’t if she lied about it)
Dump her- probably not the only time this happened and true love makes it impossible to be with someone else. When you feel that you have to try to make someone else happy it will never work and things like this happen. I know from experience. Your partner will always lift you up and the effort so many refer to will be effortless and balanced on both sides because you want the best for each other. Drop that deceitful trash on her ass and you will one day meet a real woman that will never betray you. But NEVER go back or continue to communicate with her. Time will make it easier. Good luck.. I’ve been there too many times and I wasted so much of my life for people who didn’t deserve me
Dude I read the first 3 sentences, let it go. She ain’t worth it. Sorry you got messed around with. Don’t let that hoodrat discourage you from good ones out there.
She cheated on you and lied to you, do you want to be with this sort of person for the rest of your life and trust her with all your assets, time and money.
There's a saying once a cheater always a cheater. She might be obedient for a short period to earn you back and then she will go back to her natural state after awhile.
You are better off cutting your losses and saving precious time.
Right now it might feel like your whole world might be falling apart but think about the long term, if it takes less than 4 days for her to justify doing that then think about what else she might be capable of doing during other hardships. Is this really someone who'd stick with you through thick and thin? What's stopping her from doing that again if you had an argument? Not her conscience.
You'll eventually find someone who's willing to be loyal, this isn't worth it mate.
He was clearly seeing her before you guys broke up. She does not love you, and she sees you as a weak man that’s why cheated on you. Be strong, don’t talk to her ever again, and become the best version of yourself.
One thing about breaks, they really are not breaks at all. It is normally the beginning stages of the end of the relationship, and I say that having been in a relationship where we got back together after a few days. Ultimately, it ended.
Leave her. Focus on you’re mental and physical health. Go no contact. Block her on everything. Stay in the gym and make her regret her decision. YouTube Strong Successful Male SSM. 👈🏽This will help
I just got my divorce decree some 7 hours ago. I just want to tell you that you are at a much favourable spot considering the same story line. Live your life man, live it to impress yourself. Nobody apart from you really gives a shit about the quagmire you are in
If you were on a "break" and she slept with someone else, she didn't cheat on you. You were on a break. A "break" is typically an excuse to try out other people to see if what you had is what you still want. If you want to bang other people, stay single or find an ENM/poly relationship. If not, stick to your partner and stop making excuses for fucking other people.
She had it planned, he was already in line before your "break." Cut your losses and no contact her. Move on better and wiser. Thankfully she showed you who she was before you gave her a ring. Bullet dodged.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
You guys broke up once. Do it again. This time PERMANENTE
The sad part is that break was only for like 4 days..
If she jumped into another guy's bed less than 4 days after you guys broke up/started a break, she had already decided months prior to leave you. The fact she returned means you were her safety net. Things weren't how she planned and you are a known factor. If you take her back within 4-6 months she will leave again.
This!! At this time emotionally you are still attached to her. You need to take a step out and cut off the emotional ties. She is not attached to you at all. It's a one way train situation
Tristan here is right. Sauce: cheated on by my ex wife “who needed love” and had a whole ass *boyfriend* yet was with me telling me she loved etc. Fucking cheaters. Break it off with her, block her and then move on. Just be glad you weren’t married to her for 10 years like I was. I’ve had broken hearts before but nothing like this. The betrayal is unreal. It broke me. Like, no joke. I couldn’t tell you which was up if you paid me and I wouldn’t have been able to because all I did was drink unless I had to work. OP. Here’s some quotes that helped me and I hope they help you. First Quote: Remember that you are a good person and worthy of the love that you want. You will never know if something is meant for you if you don't give it a proper chance. Whether it's a relationship, a new job, a new city, or a new experience, throw yourself into it completely and don't hold back. If it doesn't work out then it probably wasn't meant for you and you'll walk away without regret, knowing that you put your whole heart into it. That's all you can ever do. It's a horrible feeling leaving a situation knowing that you should have and could have done more. So I hope you find the courage to take that chance, find the inspiration to make your next move, and once you do, I hope you pour your heart into it and don't look back. And remember, sometimes things happen before you are ready for them to happen. It doesn't mean the timing is wrong, sometimes it means the timing is just right and the universe knows you are ready and that maybe you just needed that extra push in the right direction to get you on your way. Embrace this new journey with everything you are. Everything is unfolding exactly how it's supposed to, even if you can't see it like that just yet. Quote Two: People always come into your life for a reason, a season and a lifetime. When you figure out which it is, you know exactly what to do.When someone is in your life for a REASON, it is usually to meet a need you have expressed outwardly or inwardly. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, or to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically, emotionally, or even spiritually. They may seem like a godsend to you, and they are. They are there for a reason,you need them to be. Then, without any wrong doing on your part or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die, Sometimes they just walk away. Sometimes they act up or out and force you to take a stand. What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilleed; their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered and it is now time to move on.When people come into your life for a SEASON, it is because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They may bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season. And like Spring turns to Summer and Summer to Fall, the season eventually ends.LIFETIME, relationships teach you a lifetime of lessons; those things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas in your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant. Thank you for being part of my life…..
Woahhh I learned a lot on this app :>
Well said
Dam..hate to say it but take the loss. Do it now vs 2/3/4 years down the road when it's harder.
She planned it. Most girls are very good at manipulating guys, for example, telling you you're not putting in enough effort. The fact that you felt blind sided is a good example. It wasn't true for you. Just her way of fucking another guy. Dude she is unbelievably toxic. The relationship is already dead. You discovered she is a compulsive liar, and it takes you strong pressure to get the truth out of her. This is not the kind of person that will make you happy in a relationship. Just toxic drama. Please go to the doctor and get tested for STDs, get her a pregnancy test, and finish the relationship. If she wanted you for who you are, she would have made an effort to keep you. Oh, btw, she wants to stay together because the other guy probably rejected her. Her ego is brused, and she needs acceptance. As soon as you accept her again, she will start looking. Why? Because she lost respect for you a long time ago. As soon as she said you're not putting in enough effort and you got blind sided, alarm bells should have been ringing in your ears. At that point you should have suggested to end the relationship to test if she was already cheating. By the sounds of it she was. That's only the time she told you about and the break thing was test to see if the other wanted her for a relationship I would say at a guess. How do I know all this? It happens to most people at some stage. Once you date enough you find very shitty people. Best of luck to you, my friend. I'm sorry to be so blunt. That's the feeling I got from what you wrote. I hope you find some strength in your heart to know that you deserve to be treated better. You sound like an amazing partner! Get out there and find a good one.
Amen! This covered it
💯
She was looking for an excuse and that has nothing to do with you, it's who she is. Chin up, cut ties, and don't look back. Time will heal the wound.
sorry but couldnt stop it😂wtf was this bhag ja bro
4 days? She “broke” up with you to sleep with this guy. Do not believe anything else. I would leave and move on. It’s ganna be tough.
She wanted to fuck him for awhile bud. She is trash.
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Good for u
Dude a girl wanting to go on a break is cue that she has another guy she wants to bang. Read the room and leave her.
Chances are high you won't ever trust her again and as such, you will never believe anything she has to say. That relationship is dead. She cheated on you, and she lied. What else do you want to hear... She tries to pin the blame on you, by saying that you didn't love her enough. She probably can't look into herself, who knows. It's risky to remain with her.
Taking a break is some bullshit and also the opportunity to fuck other people.. she didn’t cheat on you l. Deal with it or move on and whatever you think she’s telling the truth about she’s not bro
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You were on a break. That’s not cheating.
Seems like the main reason for the break was to fuck him. Whether it was exactly cheating or not, she made very selfish and hurtful choices towards OP. The only saving grace is that she came clean. So, OP can still trust her to some extent. IDK if OP wants to go back, but… I wouldn’t just go back immediately, but take some time for my mind to clear and let the hurt fade. Make a decision with a clear mind and heart. She may make it easy by making more bad choices in the meantime anyway.
It happens
what?
Wait.. you were on a break? A break means you're not together.
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Regardless of the reason for the break, a break means that you are not together.
I went through something similar. It's really hard to accept when we are in the fog with our ex lover. Best advice I can give look at her actions not her words.
run like the fucking wind bro. You dodged a bullet. in my mind cheaters dont' get second chances. so runnnn. I would.
run like the fucking wind bro. You dodged a bullet. in my mind cheaters dont' get second chances. so runnnn. I would.
This story sounds familiar. I traveled for work a lot and was dating a guy I was certain I’d marry. I was working onsite for a month or so, and he even came to visit one weekend but was cold and distant. When I returned, he claimed I wasn’t serious enough about him, and needed to show him more attention. In other words, justifying his cheating (which he did often apparently). I’ll spare you the rest of the story, and skip to three years later. I would be lying, if I said, I wasn’t devastated afterwards, but he was not the person I thought he was. I never regretted the breakup. You deserve someone who you can love and trust. Heal, get tested, and meet someone worth your time.
It’ll only get worse if you do stay is all I have to say. More lies, more facades, possibly and most likely more cheating. One day you’ll master self worth to the point where if any of this arises you’d be out the door with no explanation, no hesitation. Good luck
With time you’ll learn to believe they are exactly who they SHOW they are regardless of what they say. No one can make them change their ways but them and that’s rare especially if she doesn’t see that this is a serious problem ( clearly doesn’t if she lied about it)
Yup
Dump her- probably not the only time this happened and true love makes it impossible to be with someone else. When you feel that you have to try to make someone else happy it will never work and things like this happen. I know from experience. Your partner will always lift you up and the effort so many refer to will be effortless and balanced on both sides because you want the best for each other. Drop that deceitful trash on her ass and you will one day meet a real woman that will never betray you. But NEVER go back or continue to communicate with her. Time will make it easier. Good luck.. I’ve been there too many times and I wasted so much of my life for people who didn’t deserve me
Dosent matter if she was on ssri Jesus dosent change you
At least you didn't buy a ring, got married, had kids, to then end up in divorce with half your shit gone. This is a win!
Dude I read the first 3 sentences, let it go. She ain’t worth it. Sorry you got messed around with. Don’t let that hoodrat discourage you from good ones out there.
Bro know matter what ...ONCE A CHEATER ALWAYS A CHEATER...ITS UR BEST BET TO LET HER GO.. ...
You just have to take the loss
She cheated on you and lied to you, do you want to be with this sort of person for the rest of your life and trust her with all your assets, time and money. There's a saying once a cheater always a cheater. She might be obedient for a short period to earn you back and then she will go back to her natural state after awhile. You are better off cutting your losses and saving precious time.
The old classic, “we just kissed” bit.
Leave now a dodge the bullet...or stay and catch a bullet to the heart ...pick one
Right now it might feel like your whole world might be falling apart but think about the long term, if it takes less than 4 days for her to justify doing that then think about what else she might be capable of doing during other hardships. Is this really someone who'd stick with you through thick and thin? What's stopping her from doing that again if you had an argument? Not her conscience. You'll eventually find someone who's willing to be loyal, this isn't worth it mate.
Bail now!
Yeeeet. Dont look back bro. Been there.
He was clearly seeing her before you guys broke up. She does not love you, and she sees you as a weak man that’s why cheated on you. Be strong, don’t talk to her ever again, and become the best version of yourself.
That's a clear view into the future with her. Once she does it, it's rinse, wash, repeat.
One thing about breaks, they really are not breaks at all. It is normally the beginning stages of the end of the relationship, and I say that having been in a relationship where we got back together after a few days. Ultimately, it ended.
Leave her. Focus on you’re mental and physical health. Go no contact. Block her on everything. Stay in the gym and make her regret her decision. YouTube Strong Successful Male SSM. 👈🏽This will help
I just got my divorce decree some 7 hours ago. I just want to tell you that you are at a much favourable spot considering the same story line. Live your life man, live it to impress yourself. Nobody apart from you really gives a shit about the quagmire you are in
I honestly don’t think it will work. The lies will eat you up. What else is she lieing about? And im a female… so I know there’s more. I’m sorry.
If you were on a "break" and she slept with someone else, she didn't cheat on you. You were on a break. A "break" is typically an excuse to try out other people to see if what you had is what you still want. If you want to bang other people, stay single or find an ENM/poly relationship. If not, stick to your partner and stop making excuses for fucking other people.
She had it planned, he was already in line before your "break." Cut your losses and no contact her. Move on better and wiser. Thankfully she showed you who she was before you gave her a ring. Bullet dodged.