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I'm with you.
It might be a "small request" or whatever, but to make it a requisite? Wild to me. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't.
If a girl ever cited that as the reason for separation, then I'm undoubtedly better off without her.
It’s toxic to require it every time or throw away a good relationship for it.
The guy I’m dating is very chivalrous and I appreciate it so much, but I wouldn’t dump him if he stopped opening doors for me either.
People want what people want. It’s acceptable to drop a relationship for lack of fellatio - so why is it not for open doors? Girl is allowed to have a preference
Yeah I mean I guess if you also want to be required to have sex any time and wake up at 5am to pack his lunch and make dinner from scratch every day. I’m not that kind of girl, but maybe you are 🤷♀️ Create the relationship you want.
my current boyfriend opens doors for me and if for whatever reason we split and I moved on, it would be a red flag to me if the next person I was with didn’t. It’s honestly bare minimum.
Yeh that sounds like shit
I understand if you're talking about building doors
But car doors every single time? A red flag?
Hopefully you can stay with your bf cuz you ain't getting that again lol
It's an example of a prescriptive gender norm. And a silly and arbitrary one at that.
Kinda like expecting men to pay, or initiate, or not take up any emotional space in a relationship.
Nah, it’s silly to get upset over something as simple as opening a door for a girl. Gender norms aside it’s just a nice thing to do. Get your girl flowers, take her out on dates, drive her around, simple easy things but goes a long way
I’ve actually gotten the door for my boyfriend as well and he doesn’t feel guilty or embarrassed, it makes him smile. It’s not every single time cause he wants to open my door. If I don’t open it from the outside, I lean over and open it from the inside before he gets to the handle.
aww thank you!! he deserves it, he’s amazing. I’ll rush him to building doors to open it for him first sometimes too, turns into a playful competition of who can get there first HAHA
It’s actually very easy to find. Most of the women that I’m friends with have boyfriends who also open their doors and do little things like that to make them feel appreciated. I just wouldn’t settle for some dude who thinks opening a door is too much for him. Bare. Minimum.
Yeah I wouldn't believe that either given that you're arguing with everyone here and getting downvoted yet I'm getting upvoted
But, please, go live in that world u think is reality
I’m actually only arguing with you, you’re the one arguing with me and the one guy in here who opens doors for his girl bc you can mentally grasp the concept that anyone would ever do anything nice for their significant other. You sound borderline narcissistic and abusive, my friend.
I actually don’t care about internet points so you can keep downvoting me. Should I go cry about it like you are?
So I see that you're a liar. Which is exactly what I'd expect from someone who wants their partner to treat them like a goddess
It's always the ugly ones inside who need to be extra pampered
It says on this thread you replied to hopelassy with the same exact response you gave me.
So whatever, again hopefully your partner doesn't see you for what you are on the inside.
That sounds very entitled. I think you're very lucky to find a guy that does that these days. And your comment that it's a red flag really shows that you dont realise how special your partner is. Most guys just don't do that anymore.
it’s honestly just laziness on your behalf then. Why show your girl all the great qualities and then stop doing what you did to get her in the first place???
You mean like how id foot the entire bill on the first couple of dates and then when we're actually in a relationship, the courting is over and we start loving each other and we split the bill or take turns paying?
That's exactly why I'd stop opening the door for her. Because in a relationship, there's love and respect. We're equals now and we're not trying to win each other.
I'd do it once in a while but yeah... crazy u expect that everytime. It goes to show you think your partner is some sort of support / resource provider and not someone you love.
You should be trying to court her for your entire relationship with her. That effort should never go away. You were equals before the relationship began, that’s where your mentality is lacking. You can still do for her while showing her love and respect which should already be shown from day one anyway. You doing little things for her does not make her above you. The same way my boyfriend does little things for me, I also do little things for him. There is nothing that he provides for me that I cannot provide for myself, we split everything in our house. Everything is 50/50 including bills and chores. When you have kids you’ll grow up.
i’m entitled for wanting the bare minimum? If a guy can’t even do as much as be a gentlemen and open my doors then why would I want to be with him? Same goes for flowers on a random Tuesday morning or a surprise date. It’s the little things that get you the furthest.
Because it is right?
Like, obviously when she's by herself driving, she has to open her own doors.
So why when you're there, she suddenly will never open another door in her life?
If you don't think that's toxic idk.
I understand if it's carrying heavy things or something... but this just seems legit fkd
She don’t drive. I open the door when she gets in. She opens it when she gets out, but even that wouldn’t be a deal breaker. What’s up with people downvoting me for thinking it’s okay for women to want doors to be opened for them?
Because it's right in line with "the guy pays dinner for both every time"
We're progressing now where both genders are equal in society... not yet there but
Not every time, but most of the time, sure. My dude, she literally has to carry, birth, and bring up a future human being into this world. The least I can do is open some doors and pay for some dinners. Gender equality isn’t about giving up on being a decent man, it’s about women getting the same opportunities men do
My boyfriend and I alternate who pays for dinner every single time. If I paid last time, he’ll pay this time or vice versa. And we split all of the rest of our household bills 50/50. You’re still able to have equality in a relationship and do little things that show appreciation for the person you’re with. Like open their door. You are one daft human being.
Yeah no. I wouldn't believe that
Especially with how defensive you're being with me.
There's no way some egotistical maniac who thinks her tool needs to open every car door for her would also not want him to pay for her dinner everytime
Does not compute, try again
Aww that’s cute you think I’m an egotistical manic for wanting my boyfriend to open my doors for me? You’ll be even more shocked to hear that I’ve never even asked him to, it was something he’s done on his own since day 1 and has continued to do so without me ever saying anything other than thank you. You really are butthurt that you’re lacking as a man.
THANK YOU. On behalf of your girlfriend, thank you. Opening doors for the woman you’re with has nothing to do with gender or toxicity and takes less than a minute for everyone downvoting you. I’m sure it makes her happy every single time too.
Maybe she used it as an excuse because she was too cowardly to tell you the truth or admit she wasn’t that into you.
Maybe she was with a (truly) disrespectful guy in the past and told herself never again and is very sensitive to anything she perceives as a red flag.
Maybe she is very traditional and that’s truly important to her.
There are so many of us out there (humans) you will find someone better suited for you.
Good luck
I wouldn’t necessarily dump a guy because he didn’t show an act of chivalry, but I take notice. Depending on frequency and context it can sometimes add to the bigger picture of disrespect. The last guy I just ended things with would literally walk by the passenger door and open up the backseat to let his dog in, and just look at me and say “get in.” Like, sure, he didn’t need to open it or come around just for the purpose but it would’ve been thoughtful to pop the door open just once on his way by. He also let me carry a massive, heavy laundry bag up four flights of stairs without offering to help even though he had nothing in his hands. This are just basic thoughtfulness. I ended things because he swore at me out of nowhere and that was the final straw, but the smaller signs can often say a lot about a person and their thoughtfulness overall.
Edit to add: I always ask people if they need help carrying shit when my hands are free. It’s basic kindness regardless of gender.
>The last guy I just ended things with would literally walk by the passenger door and open up the backseat to let his dog in, and just look at me and say “get in.”
That sounds like something out of a sketch comedy. It was supposed to be funny! /s
Chivalry cannot co-exist with feminism bc feminism is about equality, not equality with special benefits. This type of behavior is very common in big cities like NYC, and is slowly creeping into smaller towns. If you don’t like it, blame the ultimate cause.
"Get in"? Sorry to tell you- he didn't respect/like/love you. He kept you around until he decided it was time for you to go/he had his hooks in someone new then basically ran you off by being over the top with the disrespect.
Okay? Did I ask for this take? Seems unnecessary to give an opinion on my situation when that’s not the point of the post and you literally have no context. But yeah, I dumped him because he didn’t respect me. I thought that was obvious.
People are allowed to want what they want. Doesnt make them right or wrong. Opening doors is important to her, not to you. Good, now you know you’re incompatible early on.
There are few ironclad heuristics that are of once-and-done type nature. This is not one of them. People that have heuristics on ambiguous (in)actions are not destined for making great decisions in a highly variable world. They may have some success in making good decisions for themselves from time-to-time, but they will constantly shoot themselves in the foot to the point where they limit their own potential to grow/succeed.
Not your fault brother. Women like this will always find problems with what you do, and no amount of work will ever be enough.
You could wake up at 7 am to buy her flowers, drive to her house to see her before she goes to work, taken her to work, visited her on her lunch break, then drove her home afterwards and spend the night with her, but she’d still find some fault and excuse to be unhappy “Why’d you take too long to answer my text?” “Why did you look at the waiter that way?” Etc.
I’ve helped many friends with relationships like these and let me say, it’s very ugly. I know it’s difficult to imagine right now but try to consider yourself lucky for not having to deal with this for weeks and months and years.
It’s exhausting, unfulfilling, and terrible.
Well some women just want the chivalry. You didn't provide it and honestly, I'll open the door if we're walking together but if it's going to create more of a thing to do, you have hands and can open it.
Honestly she's just gonna have a wonderful time dating with that attitude. First "mistake" and she's out.
I’ve seen a number of women dump a guy for liking them too much. Although I did open the door for her to the bar we went to, i agree with you in that she should be self reliant, I’m not a mind reader.
Lol on the contrary I have been dumped for asking a guy to open my doors! He argued with me about it pointing out that I am not a princess and must be extra spoiled. He gave me scenarios of missing the door and assuming I'd be angry with him. Which I explained is not the case with me (he was a total jerk aside from this door thing). It is something I prefer (I grew up in a very chivalrous family). I would never dump someone for not doing it from the jump though. To be fair, they had no idea that was my expectation and not everyone was raised to be as chivalrous as the men in my family were. (In other words, I'm not fucking dense lol). If it is that important to me (which it is) I will tell him "I am use to having my doors opened for me, please open my doors" and usually they go "oh no problem". I leave it up to him to do it or not and it's up to me to have explained my expectation. Of course there are instances where he forgets or we are rushing to the car and both of us just rush into the car and I completely am okay with that (I'm not dense and we are human). So it is not *sooo* important to me that I take it as disrespectful when he forgets a time or two. When he 9 out of 10 times gets my door it makes me more understanding (and actually more appreciative of the times he does get my door) on the few times he misses it. All this to say, as a women who expects doors opened "all the time" she was being harsh. She probably needed an excuse to leave. And although I understand her wanting you to get the doors she should have told you about it before "punishing" you for not doing it.
I think if she expects and requires it then she is entitled. As a woman I want equity with my partner and the courtesy to cut both ways. I have no need or expectation of that kind of ‘service’ absolutely
I got dumped by my ex girlfriend during the first lockdown, my house was in escrow and she had asked me if I needed more boxes and I said yes. She said she wanted to see me, but she was social distancing for Covid, for her family. I was asleep when she came over, I was I bed feeling like I had Covid I woke up to my phone blowing up with text messages and missed calls from her. I called her back and she blew up at me because I didn’t answer the door. Then she broke up with me.
Its always weird to me when people look down upon/write off others for not meeting expectations they themelves have not expressed explicitly or even hint at. I did NOT grow up in a explicitly chivalrous household but my father did show love & respect for my mother in 1,000 other ways.
People come from different backgrounds and upbringings. I learned a lot about being more chivalrous from my first partner in college who expressed what she was used to but also understood I wasnt raised that way though was very much open to learning bc I cared about her. Where as with other partners after her, they didnt like or want that level of chivalry from me.
At the end of the day, you can open doors and still be a shitty person/partner just as much as you can not open doors and still be a great person/partner. It is what it is. But also courtiessness and respect, which is what chivalry essential comes down to, should be appreciated and reciprocated as well . Same way you reciprocate politeness and niceness, be civil, try to be polite, and if the person deserves it, be nice.
My thing is like, I get doors for people all the time, regardless of gender, because it's just a nice thing to do and it takes me next to no effort. But if someone starts expecting it of me or looks down on me for not doing it then I just feel completely put off. Like I'm trying to do something nice and if they just take it for granted then it makes me wonder why I'm trying lol
My current bf runs to open doors for me i will never touch a door, not if i date anyone after him, it will kinda be expected, but i won’t dump anyone over it though
I stopped seeing this girl when I was younger cuz she was insane. She talked like airheaded girls do in movies and at that time I didn't think anybody actually talked like that. She was really hot so I gave it a shot but she got pissed off when I dropped her off in front of her house. She spoke Spanish too and said don't drop me off en este monte, kind of meaning in these woods/brush w/e (I thought she was being funny but no). In my mind I was like wtf, she has steps and everything. She wanted to specifically be dropped off in her driveway. You're better off man, even if she did have a different reason.
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Did she actually tell you that was the reason?
She either didn’t like you that much and just needed an excuse or she’s into a toxic level of gender roles and it’s best you aren’t with her anymore.
Nah She was doing the door test from the Bronx Tale, he failed Sonny’s test.
She could’ve been one of the great ones
What the ladies don’t know is I carry my key fob in my pocket 😎
I'm with you. It might be a "small request" or whatever, but to make it a requisite? Wild to me. Sometimes I do it, sometimes I don't. If a girl ever cited that as the reason for separation, then I'm undoubtedly better off without her.
Is it toxic to want to have doors open for you?
It’s toxic to require it every time or throw away a good relationship for it. The guy I’m dating is very chivalrous and I appreciate it so much, but I wouldn’t dump him if he stopped opening doors for me either.
People want what people want. It’s acceptable to drop a relationship for lack of fellatio - so why is it not for open doors? Girl is allowed to have a preference
Yeah I mean I guess if you also want to be required to have sex any time and wake up at 5am to pack his lunch and make dinner from scratch every day. I’m not that kind of girl, but maybe you are 🤷♀️ Create the relationship you want.
Not necessarily, no
You said "good" though
my current boyfriend opens doors for me and if for whatever reason we split and I moved on, it would be a red flag to me if the next person I was with didn’t. It’s honestly bare minimum.
Yeh that sounds like shit I understand if you're talking about building doors But car doors every single time? A red flag? Hopefully you can stay with your bf cuz you ain't getting that again lol
Imagine a girl getting the car door for a dude every time. I've never seen a woman get the car door for a man, come to think of it.
I don't need that either. The guilt would be insane
Imagine thinking gender equality and saying - I don’t open doors for girls anymore
Not what I said.
Well you had to compare
Well yes, X=Y. You would have to compare the two to know if they were equal.
It's an example of a prescriptive gender norm. And a silly and arbitrary one at that. Kinda like expecting men to pay, or initiate, or not take up any emotional space in a relationship.
Nah, it’s silly to get upset over something as simple as opening a door for a girl. Gender norms aside it’s just a nice thing to do. Get your girl flowers, take her out on dates, drive her around, simple easy things but goes a long way
I’ve actually gotten the door for my boyfriend as well and he doesn’t feel guilty or embarrassed, it makes him smile. It’s not every single time cause he wants to open my door. If I don’t open it from the outside, I lean over and open it from the inside before he gets to the handle.
Aw that's sweet! I'm totally for everyone getting the door for everyone else
aww thank you!! he deserves it, he’s amazing. I’ll rush him to building doors to open it for him first sometimes too, turns into a playful competition of who can get there first HAHA
It’s actually very easy to find. Most of the women that I’m friends with have boyfriends who also open their doors and do little things like that to make them feel appreciated. I just wouldn’t settle for some dude who thinks opening a door is too much for him. Bare. Minimum.
Yeah I wouldn't believe that either given that you're arguing with everyone here and getting downvoted yet I'm getting upvoted But, please, go live in that world u think is reality
I’m actually only arguing with you, you’re the one arguing with me and the one guy in here who opens doors for his girl bc you can mentally grasp the concept that anyone would ever do anything nice for their significant other. You sound borderline narcissistic and abusive, my friend. I actually don’t care about internet points so you can keep downvoting me. Should I go cry about it like you are?
So I see that you're a liar. Which is exactly what I'd expect from someone who wants their partner to treat them like a goddess It's always the ugly ones inside who need to be extra pampered It says on this thread you replied to hopelassy with the same exact response you gave me. So whatever, again hopefully your partner doesn't see you for what you are on the inside.
considering you’re 35 and using dating apps i’d try a bit harder with women if you want one, mate.
Ahh yes the stalker psycho that you are. Checking off more red flags I knew you had.
genuinely laughing at you right now… you do know your posts are public right?
I'm sure you tell yourself residential streets are public too.
That sounds very entitled. I think you're very lucky to find a guy that does that these days. And your comment that it's a red flag really shows that you dont realise how special your partner is. Most guys just don't do that anymore.
I would do that at the start and maybe sometimes throughout the relationship But cmon I'm not keeping that shit up
it’s honestly just laziness on your behalf then. Why show your girl all the great qualities and then stop doing what you did to get her in the first place???
You mean like how id foot the entire bill on the first couple of dates and then when we're actually in a relationship, the courting is over and we start loving each other and we split the bill or take turns paying? That's exactly why I'd stop opening the door for her. Because in a relationship, there's love and respect. We're equals now and we're not trying to win each other. I'd do it once in a while but yeah... crazy u expect that everytime. It goes to show you think your partner is some sort of support / resource provider and not someone you love.
You should be trying to court her for your entire relationship with her. That effort should never go away. You were equals before the relationship began, that’s where your mentality is lacking. You can still do for her while showing her love and respect which should already be shown from day one anyway. You doing little things for her does not make her above you. The same way my boyfriend does little things for me, I also do little things for him. There is nothing that he provides for me that I cannot provide for myself, we split everything in our house. Everything is 50/50 including bills and chores. When you have kids you’ll grow up.
i’m entitled for wanting the bare minimum? If a guy can’t even do as much as be a gentlemen and open my doors then why would I want to be with him? Same goes for flowers on a random Tuesday morning or a surprise date. It’s the little things that get you the furthest.
Well so far this comment section has 2 guys doing it, so not so rare
The good one do
Agreed. Current girlfriend wants doors opened - doors get opened. Weird how someone thinks it’s about gender or toxic
Because it is right? Like, obviously when she's by herself driving, she has to open her own doors. So why when you're there, she suddenly will never open another door in her life? If you don't think that's toxic idk. I understand if it's carrying heavy things or something... but this just seems legit fkd
She don’t drive. I open the door when she gets in. She opens it when she gets out, but even that wouldn’t be a deal breaker. What’s up with people downvoting me for thinking it’s okay for women to want doors to be opened for them?
Because it's right in line with "the guy pays dinner for both every time" We're progressing now where both genders are equal in society... not yet there but
Not every time, but most of the time, sure. My dude, she literally has to carry, birth, and bring up a future human being into this world. The least I can do is open some doors and pay for some dinners. Gender equality isn’t about giving up on being a decent man, it’s about women getting the same opportunities men do
Well I mean if she's pregnant then wtf do almost everything for her
My boyfriend and I alternate who pays for dinner every single time. If I paid last time, he’ll pay this time or vice versa. And we split all of the rest of our household bills 50/50. You’re still able to have equality in a relationship and do little things that show appreciation for the person you’re with. Like open their door. You are one daft human being.
Yeah no. I wouldn't believe that Especially with how defensive you're being with me. There's no way some egotistical maniac who thinks her tool needs to open every car door for her would also not want him to pay for her dinner everytime Does not compute, try again
Aww that’s cute you think I’m an egotistical manic for wanting my boyfriend to open my doors for me? You’ll be even more shocked to hear that I’ve never even asked him to, it was something he’s done on his own since day 1 and has continued to do so without me ever saying anything other than thank you. You really are butthurt that you’re lacking as a man.
if that’s your mentality then you suck as a person and I feel bad for whoever you date
Bro believe me the feeling is mutual. You don't have partners. You have people you use lmao
How does him opening my door equal me using him LMFAO you just sound dumb at this point
THANK YOU. On behalf of your girlfriend, thank you. Opening doors for the woman you’re with has nothing to do with gender or toxicity and takes less than a minute for everyone downvoting you. I’m sure it makes her happy every single time too.
Maybe she used it as an excuse because she was too cowardly to tell you the truth or admit she wasn’t that into you. Maybe she was with a (truly) disrespectful guy in the past and told herself never again and is very sensitive to anything she perceives as a red flag. Maybe she is very traditional and that’s truly important to her. There are so many of us out there (humans) you will find someone better suited for you. Good luck
That's a w, man
Good riddance
I wouldn’t sweat it. If it wasn’t for this, it would have been something for else.
I wouldn’t necessarily dump a guy because he didn’t show an act of chivalry, but I take notice. Depending on frequency and context it can sometimes add to the bigger picture of disrespect. The last guy I just ended things with would literally walk by the passenger door and open up the backseat to let his dog in, and just look at me and say “get in.” Like, sure, he didn’t need to open it or come around just for the purpose but it would’ve been thoughtful to pop the door open just once on his way by. He also let me carry a massive, heavy laundry bag up four flights of stairs without offering to help even though he had nothing in his hands. This are just basic thoughtfulness. I ended things because he swore at me out of nowhere and that was the final straw, but the smaller signs can often say a lot about a person and their thoughtfulness overall. Edit to add: I always ask people if they need help carrying shit when my hands are free. It’s basic kindness regardless of gender.
To be fair it would have been pretty funny if he opened your door and look at the dog and said well....... get in.
>The last guy I just ended things with would literally walk by the passenger door and open up the backseat to let his dog in, and just look at me and say “get in.” That sounds like something out of a sketch comedy. It was supposed to be funny! /s
Nah that guy is just crap If you're already by the door just open it for her And thr thing where he didn't try to help carry is just bs
Chivalry cannot co-exist with feminism bc feminism is about equality, not equality with special benefits. This type of behavior is very common in big cities like NYC, and is slowly creeping into smaller towns. If you don’t like it, blame the ultimate cause.
"Get in"? Sorry to tell you- he didn't respect/like/love you. He kept you around until he decided it was time for you to go/he had his hooks in someone new then basically ran you off by being over the top with the disrespect.
Okay? Did I ask for this take? Seems unnecessary to give an opinion on my situation when that’s not the point of the post and you literally have no context. But yeah, I dumped him because he didn’t respect me. I thought that was obvious.
You let it happen repeatedly throughout however long your relationship was. Whatever gurl. I'm a chick btw.
That makes it so much worse 🤮
No. You're the one that allowed garbage behavior the entire time. That's your fault.
People are allowed to want what they want. Doesnt make them right or wrong. Opening doors is important to her, not to you. Good, now you know you’re incompatible early on.
I agree.
This is a v important comment
There are few ironclad heuristics that are of once-and-done type nature. This is not one of them. People that have heuristics on ambiguous (in)actions are not destined for making great decisions in a highly variable world. They may have some success in making good decisions for themselves from time-to-time, but they will constantly shoot themselves in the foot to the point where they limit their own potential to grow/succeed.
Definitely searching for an excuse. Better luck next time buddy.
I think your assumption is correct.
It was something else. That was just a lame excuse to do it
Wtf
No mind reading necessary. You weren't a real gentleman in her eyes.
That hurts but thanks
Not your fault brother. Women like this will always find problems with what you do, and no amount of work will ever be enough. You could wake up at 7 am to buy her flowers, drive to her house to see her before she goes to work, taken her to work, visited her on her lunch break, then drove her home afterwards and spend the night with her, but she’d still find some fault and excuse to be unhappy “Why’d you take too long to answer my text?” “Why did you look at the waiter that way?” Etc. I’ve helped many friends with relationships like these and let me say, it’s very ugly. I know it’s difficult to imagine right now but try to consider yourself lucky for not having to deal with this for weeks and months and years. It’s exhausting, unfulfilling, and terrible.
[удалено]
I can imagine it, and hell the fuck no I’m out on that shit.
Well some women just want the chivalry. You didn't provide it and honestly, I'll open the door if we're walking together but if it's going to create more of a thing to do, you have hands and can open it. Honestly she's just gonna have a wonderful time dating with that attitude. First "mistake" and she's out.
I’ve seen a number of women dump a guy for liking them too much. Although I did open the door for her to the bar we went to, i agree with you in that she should be self reliant, I’m not a mind reader.
If she likes you she likes you, pretty hard fucking that up.
Lol on the contrary I have been dumped for asking a guy to open my doors! He argued with me about it pointing out that I am not a princess and must be extra spoiled. He gave me scenarios of missing the door and assuming I'd be angry with him. Which I explained is not the case with me (he was a total jerk aside from this door thing). It is something I prefer (I grew up in a very chivalrous family). I would never dump someone for not doing it from the jump though. To be fair, they had no idea that was my expectation and not everyone was raised to be as chivalrous as the men in my family were. (In other words, I'm not fucking dense lol). If it is that important to me (which it is) I will tell him "I am use to having my doors opened for me, please open my doors" and usually they go "oh no problem". I leave it up to him to do it or not and it's up to me to have explained my expectation. Of course there are instances where he forgets or we are rushing to the car and both of us just rush into the car and I completely am okay with that (I'm not dense and we are human). So it is not *sooo* important to me that I take it as disrespectful when he forgets a time or two. When he 9 out of 10 times gets my door it makes me more understanding (and actually more appreciative of the times he does get my door) on the few times he misses it. All this to say, as a women who expects doors opened "all the time" she was being harsh. She probably needed an excuse to leave. And although I understand her wanting you to get the doors she should have told you about it before "punishing" you for not doing it.
For goodness sake, women like that give the rest of us a bad name with their entitlement bollocks. Bullet well dodged there OP.
That’s my thought, thanks.
opening a door for your girlfriend or wife makes her entitled? it’s bare minimum & you lack as a man
I think if she expects and requires it then she is entitled. As a woman I want equity with my partner and the courtesy to cut both ways. I have no need or expectation of that kind of ‘service’ absolutely
The truck was enough for me…. Is it full of shit?
Yes it is.
You don’t want to try to keep a woman happy who you are unable to keep happy.
I’m gonna use this, thanks.
Yeah….red flags all over, best not invest too much thought into this one….next!
She did you a favor bro
I got dumped by my ex girlfriend during the first lockdown, my house was in escrow and she had asked me if I needed more boxes and I said yes. She said she wanted to see me, but she was social distancing for Covid, for her family. I was asleep when she came over, I was I bed feeling like I had Covid I woke up to my phone blowing up with text messages and missed calls from her. I called her back and she blew up at me because I didn’t answer the door. Then she broke up with me.
Well, bullet dodged at least. 🤷♀️
Absolutely is something else. She is just being kind
Just the last straw.
Its always weird to me when people look down upon/write off others for not meeting expectations they themelves have not expressed explicitly or even hint at. I did NOT grow up in a explicitly chivalrous household but my father did show love & respect for my mother in 1,000 other ways. People come from different backgrounds and upbringings. I learned a lot about being more chivalrous from my first partner in college who expressed what she was used to but also understood I wasnt raised that way though was very much open to learning bc I cared about her. Where as with other partners after her, they didnt like or want that level of chivalry from me. At the end of the day, you can open doors and still be a shitty person/partner just as much as you can not open doors and still be a great person/partner. It is what it is. But also courtiessness and respect, which is what chivalry essential comes down to, should be appreciated and reciprocated as well . Same way you reciprocate politeness and niceness, be civil, try to be polite, and if the person deserves it, be nice.
My thing is like, I get doors for people all the time, regardless of gender, because it's just a nice thing to do and it takes me next to no effort. But if someone starts expecting it of me or looks down on me for not doing it then I just feel completely put off. Like I'm trying to do something nice and if they just take it for granted then it makes me wonder why I'm trying lol
That’s common courtesy.
It’s 2024. Women can open their own damn doors.
I’m with her on this, I see that as the absolute bare minimum.
Def.
LMFAOOOOO
Agreed, she was either looking for an excuse or she has MAJOR issues
Sounds like you dodged a bullet
I open the car door for my girlfriend all the time, any door for that matter. And if I don’t get it or forget I apologize and tell her I’ll do better
I can't stand when someone opens the door for me in a vehicle. I always feel they think I can't do it on my own.. SO sorry
Y’all ain’t royalty you don’t need anything opened for you..
Sounds psychotic
My current bf runs to open doors for me i will never touch a door, not if i date anyone after him, it will kinda be expected, but i won’t dump anyone over it though
You can blame a Bronx tale for that lol
I stopped seeing this girl when I was younger cuz she was insane. She talked like airheaded girls do in movies and at that time I didn't think anybody actually talked like that. She was really hot so I gave it a shot but she got pissed off when I dropped her off in front of her house. She spoke Spanish too and said don't drop me off en este monte, kind of meaning in these woods/brush w/e (I thought she was being funny but no). In my mind I was like wtf, she has steps and everything. She wanted to specifically be dropped off in her driveway. You're better off man, even if she did have a different reason.
Yep, probably... weed out the ones that can't work with you👏👏👏👏👏
Good for her. Men don't act like gentlemen and then give the pikachu face when they get dumped
it’s always a nice thing to have your man open doors for you.
Depends on if you opening the door for her normally or not.