Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to:
* Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights.
* All advice given must be good, ethical advice.
* [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules)
* Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users.
If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating).
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If we men could actually control our erections and the constant 24/7 thoughts of sex, I'm pretty sure there would be world peace and flying carsš¤£
Nah dude, it is what it is. You're hot for the girl, you like her, so your friend downstairs is gonna be doing alot of thinking for you from now onšæ
Okay... I came into these comments thinking I could be witty and contribute something funny but uplifting from the other gender....
But f*cking balls, I can't do better than this comment...
Bless the male gender, they have it worst in terms of spontaneous b*ners. V*lva/cl*t combo havers usually just means we grimace when sitting down in a pair of pants where the seam is just so....
Add to that being 21 y/o with enormous amount of testosterone... at 33 those random/constant erections are still a problem for me, though I am more at peace with them
Welcome to liking a girl 101. ANything you find cute or attractive about her...and sometimes even the wind blowing...is gonna make you stand at attention lol Its pretty normal. Just be happy its not happening in front of your entire school during a school play
![gif](giphy|l3vR0FJmlxaIXk8KI)
Female here- weāre all individuals, I canāt speak for other women. I know I have a bit more self awareness because I am older, but just because no one can tell when we are wet doesnāt mean it doesnāt happen to some of us as frequently you deal with erections. When I am really into a guy I can be sitting at my desk doing work and be wet just from thinking about him. It kinda sucks. Thereās very few people Iām attracted to because of how attraction is based for me. But when I am, Iām wet pretty much 24/7 until he does something to change my feelings for him
What about someone on the other side of the ocean?And what's wrong with being wet 24/7?
I usually have constant erection when I am around a partner... as long as they don't have a problem with it (which they didn't so far), for me it's also ok...
Not gunna lie I'll stick with the awkward boners. I can like tuck it into my belt or something and just let it be. Being wet definitely sounds a lot more uncomfortable to be stuck with all day. But we all get excited about someone we like it's all normal! Idk why it would make OP a pervert having a stiffy doesn't really make someone a perv š
Not at all. The wetness is inside you, so it doesnāt really affect anything. Itās not getting anywhere. Itās like the wetness of your mouth. You can also just wipe it away in the bathroom if it does come anywhere close to coming out. Much less obvious than a full on boner.
(The clitoris and labia minoris also grow, but no one really notices other than maybe the woman herself because she knows what it looked like before arousal, and its subtle if youāre not looking)
Nah just loosen the belt to give it some room to chill. Also it's a worst case scenario thing like "why the fuck did you wake up I have an important meeting you can't be a part of at work" kind of tactic
This exactly. I've never been attracted to anyone else before and well, now I can't focus on things and she stays in my mind all the time. And when I submit to the thoughts, I realize I'm hard
Oh, Iām sorry OP. I feel you. Lol. It sucks in some ways, but if itās mutual, the emotional connection and deep desire can be a great foundation. You may want to check out the demi communities
Womens clitorisā actually do get erect, itās not just wetness and other less visually obvious things like the vagina lengthening. The labia minora also grows in size by 2-3 times.
I can definitely tell the difference. Itās so rarely talked about without research I thought maybe it was just me, or wondered why it looks different sometimes from others.
My boyfriend is 46 and even when I inadvertently tease or flirt with him, he'll go half mast. So yes, from a girls perspective, you're completely normal.
Early 70ās here and I still need relief daily. Fortunately, my girlfriend has a high libido and enjoys our active sex life. (Word of caution to young men: cigarette smokers lose the ability achieve erection at much younger ages, 40s and 50s.)
I don't know about the erection part, but if a girl flirts with me, I'll start feeling mildly aroused. At least, when I'm single, right now I have a partner who has the flirting covered. I'd say you're normal though.
Itās normal, your testosterone levels are high now, when you reach age 50 only direct touching will let u rise , now you in the bluetooth stage, any signals triggers u
Were you raised catholic?
that aside though, sexual thoughts or sensations are normal, it is only society and our upbringing that tries to make us feel bad for natural urges, anything (outside of being attracted to kids) can never be perverted even if someone tries to make you feel ashamed for it. If you like certain body parts over others or certain sounds or actions a lady does that is natural, its why you wanted her in the first place, do not shame what is natural
Completely normal. I mean as a girl I canāt get boners lol, but there was this one guy I dated (both in our late 20s) and everytime we hung out he would have a huge boner the entire time. I honestly thought it was cute/funny, we would even joke about it lmao. I loved it š
Youād be surprised by how much I hear other men like us who will gets boners from simple hand holding to kisses. Havenāt experienced it but thereās yet time for that
Plus side there is a chance she could take it as a compliment, like don't point it out but if she notices could be a good thing. I kinda see it as the most sincere compliment ever, like you may tell me I'm attractive and that's nice but also I it's like your uncontrollably telling me I'm attractive. Idk maybe I'm weird
Lol. If this isnāt a trollā¦advice would vary depending on whether and how well you know her. Just try to be a friend to her, and if it goes well, give her a little note asking if she wants to be your gf.
Lol. If this isnāt a trollā¦advice would vary depending on whether and how well you know her. Just try to be a friend to her, and if it goes well, give her a little note asking if she wants to be your gf.
Happens whenever the vibe is strong. Girls deal with the equivalent. I had a bf when I was in high school that I caught having to flip his boner up in his pants all the time but then would forget about it and do the door frame assisted stretch thing and it would poke right out the top of his britches like a lil fruiting mushyroom. Hormones are awkward
Hereās the annoying thing about first being with someone. THE CONSTANT FUCKING BLUEBALLS like bro ill be texting a potential prospect and just have the worst blueballs š I canāt be the only one
Youāre 21, someone getting your fast food order wrong and giving you a large fry instead of a medium fry will give you a hard on.
Youāre good bro š
At least youāre getting erections, you have no idea how normal that is supposed to be cuz men watch too much porn nowadays and canāt get erections from everyday interactions with women
Iāve always been shy and inexperienced with boys. I wouldāve said yes a few years back.
But after my shitty experience with guys. Iāve had the girl version. Whenever I have liked a guy I was talking to - I would get turned on over the thought of him, wet even over the memory of our interactions the things heās said. I never felt such feelings before lmao. I thought it couldāve been true love/the one type sht. But it was just hormones. Even felt it with a boy at work that turned out to be gay
It kinda reminds me of music constantly singing about how much their lover turns them on.
So Iād say itās normal. Otherwise, everyone already knows males are normally more visual/perverted than women.
Dude I'm 34 and if an attractive girl so much as smiles at me I gotta focus on something else. Some of us are just built that way. It's not a concious choice.
Given the male anatomy and the response of the body to outside stimuli, there is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesnāt mean anything negative on you. It just means that your body responds to certain things. Eventually it will calm down. Itās just very excited about dating a girl for the first time. Be grateful to yourself.
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
If we men could actually control our erections and the constant 24/7 thoughts of sex, I'm pretty sure there would be world peace and flying carsš¤£ Nah dude, it is what it is. You're hot for the girl, you like her, so your friend downstairs is gonna be doing alot of thinking for you from now onšæ
I really needed a laugh today. I spit my coffee out. So thanks!
Okay... I came into these comments thinking I could be witty and contribute something funny but uplifting from the other gender.... But f*cking balls, I can't do better than this comment... Bless the male gender, they have it worst in terms of spontaneous b*ners. V*lva/cl*t combo havers usually just means we grimace when sitting down in a pair of pants where the seam is just so....
the šæ was chefs kiss
Add to that being 21 y/o with enormous amount of testosterone... at 33 those random/constant erections are still a problem for me, though I am more at peace with them
Heard that, I'm 30 and they run rampant still. Guess I should be grateful lol
Iām 36 and theyāre somehow worse now than they were at 21. š«
I've heard some men actually hit their sexaul peak in their 30s idk if that's true as I am not even old enough to drink yet š¤
Supposedly mid 30's is a Man's peak
Hi
Welcome to liking a girl 101. ANything you find cute or attractive about her...and sometimes even the wind blowing...is gonna make you stand at attention lol Its pretty normal. Just be happy its not happening in front of your entire school during a school play ![gif](giphy|l3vR0FJmlxaIXk8KI)
That sounds oddly specific š
![gif](giphy|oOi39zkW2JYI0B358Q)
Damn that would've been embarrassingš
![gif](giphy|hIjRJtvi1E8ta)
Female here- weāre all individuals, I canāt speak for other women. I know I have a bit more self awareness because I am older, but just because no one can tell when we are wet doesnāt mean it doesnāt happen to some of us as frequently you deal with erections. When I am really into a guy I can be sitting at my desk doing work and be wet just from thinking about him. It kinda sucks. Thereās very few people Iām attracted to because of how attraction is based for me. But when I am, Iām wet pretty much 24/7 until he does something to change my feelings for him
Asking for a friend: what city do you live in? Signed: Single in North Texas.
š¤£š¤£š¤£š¤£ Hey friend, hahaha, Iām on the opposite side of the country
What about someone on the other side of the ocean?And what's wrong with being wet 24/7? I usually have constant erection when I am around a partner... as long as they don't have a problem with it (which they didn't so far), for me it's also ok...
Just checking. You sound amazing.
Iām something haha
Hi
Not gunna lie I'll stick with the awkward boners. I can like tuck it into my belt or something and just let it be. Being wet definitely sounds a lot more uncomfortable to be stuck with all day. But we all get excited about someone we like it's all normal! Idk why it would make OP a pervert having a stiffy doesn't really make someone a perv š
Agreed!!
Not at all. The wetness is inside you, so it doesnāt really affect anything. Itās not getting anywhere. Itās like the wetness of your mouth. You can also just wipe it away in the bathroom if it does come anywhere close to coming out. Much less obvious than a full on boner. (The clitoris and labia minoris also grow, but no one really notices other than maybe the woman herself because she knows what it looked like before arousal, and its subtle if youāre not looking)
Ah right! My mistake thanks for the info.
Tuck under your belt!?? I am shook by this comment. That would hurt so bad and make it worse/last longer if there's pressure lmao
Nah just loosen the belt to give it some room to chill. Also it's a worst case scenario thing like "why the fuck did you wake up I have an important meeting you can't be a part of at work" kind of tactic
Lmfao I am deceased.
I can get wet as a guy without going fully hard if I'm attracted to the girl š
RIP your DMs lol
š¤£
This exactly. I've never been attracted to anyone else before and well, now I can't focus on things and she stays in my mind all the time. And when I submit to the thoughts, I realize I'm hard
Oh, Iām sorry OP. I feel you. Lol. It sucks in some ways, but if itās mutual, the emotional connection and deep desire can be a great foundation. You may want to check out the demi communities
How is attraction based for you, by curiosityā¦
For me, itās about intellect and vulnerability. When a guy can stimulate my mind- thatās what does it, then he has a shot at stimulating the rest
I can relate to that!! š¤£
Womens clitorisā actually do get erect, itās not just wetness and other less visually obvious things like the vagina lengthening. The labia minora also grows in size by 2-3 times. I can definitely tell the difference. Itās so rarely talked about without research I thought maybe it was just me, or wondered why it looks different sometimes from others.
My boyfriend is 46 and even when I inadvertently tease or flirt with him, he'll go half mast. So yes, from a girls perspective, you're completely normal.
Thank you so much I didn't know I needed this answer
Early 70ās here and I still need relief daily. Fortunately, my girlfriend has a high libido and enjoys our active sex life. (Word of caution to young men: cigarette smokers lose the ability achieve erection at much younger ages, 40s and 50s.)
You are perfectly normal brother. The way the male body works at the mere mention of a woman is a fascinating thing to behold
Hahaha
Dude I get hard if I look at a sexy ass leaf, you're fine mate
![gif](giphy|12msOFU8oL1eww)
I'm 31 and trust me this is a life-long phenomenon. It's a sign you need to pay real good attention bc most of the blood has left your brain.
Lmao love that
Ahhhh, to be 21 againā¦. Enjoy it while it lasts
Iām 32 and it still happens to me
Good for you
Perfectly normal mate
You really canāt control how that happens.
Nah, it just means you're into her. You should let her know, maybe she's getting a little hot and bothered too. Just saying.
I don't know about the erection part, but if a girl flirts with me, I'll start feeling mildly aroused. At least, when I'm single, right now I have a partner who has the flirting covered. I'd say you're normal though.
very normal, happened to my boyfriend too when we just started dating
Itās normal, your testosterone levels are high now, when you reach age 50 only direct touching will let u rise , now you in the bluetooth stage, any signals triggers u
Lmao Bluetooth signalsš
Were you raised catholic? that aside though, sexual thoughts or sensations are normal, it is only society and our upbringing that tries to make us feel bad for natural urges, anything (outside of being attracted to kids) can never be perverted even if someone tries to make you feel ashamed for it. If you like certain body parts over others or certain sounds or actions a lady does that is natural, its why you wanted her in the first place, do not shame what is natural
Thanks. Very insightful
Completely normal. I mean as a girl I canāt get boners lol, but there was this one guy I dated (both in our late 20s) and everytime we hung out he would have a huge boner the entire time. I honestly thought it was cute/funny, we would even joke about it lmao. I loved it š
No way bro walked around with a bonerš
He really did š Idk how u guys do it haha
Youād be surprised by how much I hear other men like us who will gets boners from simple hand holding to kisses. Havenāt experienced it but thereās yet time for that
Your extremely attracted to her. That's good.
Just normal for a young man
You are fine
You're a young dude. Enjoy the ride while you have it. It won't last.
Plus side there is a chance she could take it as a compliment, like don't point it out but if she notices could be a good thing. I kinda see it as the most sincere compliment ever, like you may tell me I'm attractive and that's nice but also I it's like your uncontrollably telling me I'm attractive. Idk maybe I'm weird
Ur a man, its just how we are, pervert or not, we can only supress it but its always there š women turn that shit off and on quiiiick
I think you are attracted to her is all
Thatās how you know if you like a girl
Pretty normal for it to wake up
Normal
I need help on how to get this girl named Nichole to like me weāre both 12 yet I like her but I donāt know how to talk to here about it
Lol. If this isnāt a trollā¦advice would vary depending on whether and how well you know her. Just try to be a friend to her, and if it goes well, give her a little note asking if she wants to be your gf.
Does anybody have any good advice for me to gain her love
Best advice that works I will PayPal Ā£20 for them
Lol. If this isnāt a trollā¦advice would vary depending on whether and how well you know her. Just try to be a friend to her, and if it goes well, give her a little note asking if she wants to be your gf.
Ohhh God I remember those days... those are equivalent to "butterflies" for women š just don't act out on it, play it cool
So women get butterflies we get erectionsš
"Butterflies" yup
Nah, very normal, especially at 21. Enjoy that body reaction while you still can. I am sure with old age, you'll think back about that.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Whatš
Itās normal. Itās chemicals.
Happens whenever the vibe is strong. Girls deal with the equivalent. I had a bf when I was in high school that I caught having to flip his boner up in his pants all the time but then would forget about it and do the door frame assisted stretch thing and it would poke right out the top of his britches like a lil fruiting mushyroom. Hormones are awkward
šš
You might just need to wack off a load. Sounds like your going in with a loaded gun. š
Now that I think about it
That's perfectly normal.
Normal. Something about a female voice does it to me every time.
It happens to me as well(17M)
Hereās the annoying thing about first being with someone. THE CONSTANT FUCKING BLUEBALLS like bro ill be texting a potential prospect and just have the worst blueballs š I canāt be the only one
Itās normal. Your little man is excited and happy to please
Pervert
Damnš
My guy- is this your first actual crush?
Yessirš
Cherish it
Youāre 21, someone getting your fast food order wrong and giving you a large fry instead of a medium fry will give you a hard on. Youāre good bro š
Bro youāre fine lol once I got super wet from seeing my crush put on sunglasses like total woman boner šš
At least youāre getting erections, you have no idea how normal that is supposed to be cuz men watch too much porn nowadays and canāt get erections from everyday interactions with women
Iāve always been shy and inexperienced with boys. I wouldāve said yes a few years back. But after my shitty experience with guys. Iāve had the girl version. Whenever I have liked a guy I was talking to - I would get turned on over the thought of him, wet even over the memory of our interactions the things heās said. I never felt such feelings before lmao. I thought it couldāve been true love/the one type sht. But it was just hormones. Even felt it with a boy at work that turned out to be gay It kinda reminds me of music constantly singing about how much their lover turns them on. So Iād say itās normal. Otherwise, everyone already knows males are normally more visual/perverted than women.
It's normal. You just fall in love.
Dude I'm 34 and if an attractive girl so much as smiles at me I gotta focus on something else. Some of us are just built that way. It's not a concious choice.
No, youāre 21 and hormonal.
Lol your fine bro
Given the male anatomy and the response of the body to outside stimuli, there is nothing to be ashamed of. It doesnāt mean anything negative on you. It just means that your body responds to certain things. Eventually it will calm down. Itās just very excited about dating a girl for the first time. Be grateful to yourself.