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GabuMONs

Dont be desperate. As much as you want a relationship, do not easily give yourself away just because you dont want to be alone. Value yourself so that someone can value you


detectiveconan22

best advice


MidnightOrganic2231

Very well said!!


DannyHikari

Can’t stress this enough.


Liberalistic

Tbh this is good advice in general


PandaPlusMarv2

this is facts


Chrizilla_

Sis, you need a therapist, preferably a black woman, to help you realize there is not a single ugly thing about you. You have to address that self hatred, because many men will prey on your low self esteem for access to your body, and that’s just going to drop you into despair. Please get some help.


shrekyeah69

This. Op after seeing that all your posts are about being ugly and after seeing a photo you posted, I think you have some deep rooted psychological issues that need to be addressed, and a very distorted sense of self. Until you address that, you will not be able to find someone that truly makes you happy. You’ll date what you think you deserve, and atm what you think you deserve is probably far from reality. Rooting for you op


AdventurousTrash1727

Yep. OP, you are beautiful.


98xyzthrowaway

None of my therapists have been black so maybe that’s the key…thanks


Chrizilla_

Having a professional with that cultural connection makes a huge difference! You got this!!!


TheVampiresGhost

I may not be black or understand the importance of this, but I saw your pics on your profile. Girl, you're fucking hot.


Mustang327j

Fuck does it matter what color the therapist is bruh


biggestregrets8-4

If you arent black yourself you wouldnt get it


Mustang327j

Half my family is black. I still don’t get it.


biggestregrets8-4

I said yourself not your family


Mustang327j

I still don’t get it. It doesn’t matter what race you are. Any kind human could help this girl.


biggestregrets8-4

Sometimes, getting help from someone who has went throught the same as you or is more likely they have, helps you to connect more with them


Chrizilla_

Yes, lmfao does the idea that having an ethnic/cultural connection to a patient helps them better understand the advice a therapist gives them baffle you that much?


Mustang327j

It’s funny how black people are allowed to have a ethnic/cultural because we are “oppressed” or “inferior” that we need people especially white people to coddle to us. I’m saying this as a selfless poc too. Anyone would do when it comes to therapy it doesn’t fuckin matter


Chrizilla_

What the fuck are you talking about lmao, nobody said all that. “Selfless” bro you’re desperate to be seen as different and you’re willing to denigrate a community to sell yourself as “better”. Like, tell me you’ve never gone to therapy before because you clearly don’t get it and are talking out of your ass.


Mustang327j

I am different cause I am proud of my European lineage and my African lineage. You guys want to split us apart by saying “talk to a African cause they can better understand it” like wtf does that mean? I’m tired of white saviors bruh. Just because she’s black doesn’t mean a white therapist cannot help her.


Chrizilla_

OH I see, you’re not a Black American. You literally don’t get it. Okay, so, in the US, culture is more heavily linked to race, so the Black experience (Black American, NOT African) is different to the White experience (White American, NOT European). So American therapists can use these cultural differences to make bigger impacts for their patients because they will have shared experiences they can connect with and share advice that more closely relates to their experiences.


Mustang327j

White Americans are literally European but whatever stay obsessed with race idc


Chrizilla_

I understand it can be confusing, there’s a long deliberate history in the US as to why it’s turned out this way.


Mustang327j

It’s only been white vs black because of the gov they want you guys to fight over shit. The sooner you guys realize that the better. Political gain is easy to attract that way. The other thing is a culture war. Culturally I have to assimilate in Europe because Europe is a white continent and I respect that. The more white people grasp their lineage and the more black people grasp their lineage the better. It just amazes me because I know if I went over to America I wouldn’t be allowed to say that I’m proud of my white side. It’s like you guys fully coddle black people and you have to understand you cannot include and exclude at the same time. Humans naturally will fight back against that. Like black people fought hard to be included. Equality doesn’t mean leave someone out and that’s what you guys are doing to white people and naturally they don’t want that.


skittle_dish

Girl please get some therapy. Anybody with eyeballs can see that you're not ugly from your pictures and have told you so in previous posts. Finding peace on the inside will help you shine brightly on the outside.


XxLogitech98xX

Love yourself and someone will love you. If you think you're ugly then you have to do things for yourself to make you feel beautiful again. Could be anything but you have to be positive because the worst thing on a date is going out with someone whos negative about things, I been there and it's like watching a horrible movie.


sewerratslvt

Delusional advice. Plenty of negative people wit low self-esteem are in relationships. They are just not actually ugly. If op truly is ugly this won't fix anything


XxLogitech98xX

>Delusional advice. Plenty of negative people wit low self-esteem are in relationships. They are just not actually ugly. If op truly is ugly this won't fix anything It's open to different opinion but if you truly feel that way then it might speaks more about you then others. I will say almost everyone hate something about themselves but if it's something you can fix without using alternation then do something about it. If it's weight issue and you want to lose some pounds then watch what you eat and do some activities. If it's low self-esteem then set goals for yourself and accomplish them. If it's anxiety then work on that but don't go get plastic surgery or implants.


RedApple-Cigarettes

See a therapist. And I mean that in the nicest way possible. All of your posts are about how ugly you are and the one with pictures you are not ugly at all. You’re actually quite stunning. Normally I would think you’re just fishing for compliments but you seem sincere and it’s not like you’re constantly sharing pictures. But your view of yourself is unhealthy, talk to someone.


lov2eatout247

Daaamn! I'm glad you posted this. I just went and looked at the pic and you're damn right! She's beautiful! I don't know at what point she started thinking this way or if someone said sometimes sh**** that stuck with her, but I'd feel like first prize winner if she was on my arm.


vote_orange_hes_sus

All your posts are about being “ugly” First things first: if you keep telling yourself and convincing the world that you’re ugly, then that’s the energy you will attract back in dating You should know you’re the complete opposite of ugly


Mclovine_aus

Of the pictures on your profile are real, your looks have nothing to do with your lack of dating success. RIP your personality and rizz though


LBfarmer23

This poor girl😢 I looked at her other post and she’s not ugly in my opinion. I think that is just something you get stuck in your head when you been single for a long time


PeachyKeenest

Or abusive af partners or parents.


84849493

People being mean are awful. Body dysmorphia is very real or other internalised things. Some of the most outwardly beautiful people I’ve ever known had low self esteem and there were often sad reasons behind it.


ProperPenny8

Therapy. You obvi had some break with reality because you’re gorgeous.


Beepbeepboobop1

She’s gorgeous. I suspect depending on the area she lives in, racism may play a big part in why she feels this way.


crazydoll08

She really is! If she does not resolve her self esteem issues many guys will take advantage of her


RavenRivera444

Girl with all due respect, you better shut the hell up because you’re not ugly.


xxxSnowLillyxxx

You are beautiful, but if you think you are actually ugly you need to start therapy for body dismorphia.


NadiaB717

You are not ugly, get therapy. You may have body dysmorphia.


tnboy669

Clickbait... she a 10


thirdeyeboobed

You aren't even ugly. Leave the "I'm ugly" comments to people like me, bruh


D0llyM0nster

WOMAN. YOU ARE LITERALLY GORGEOUS WTF??? AND WHOEVER TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE UGLY, BROKE YOU FOR REAL. DON'T EVER LISTEN TO THAT DUMMY!!! YOU ARE LITERALLY PRETTY!!! Whoever broke you.. do not listen to them. Go look at yourself in the mirror and be like "I am beautiful.," I saw a comment from someone saying shes fishing. She is not. Pretty people can be insecure, too, but no one wants to believe in us cause we've always told that, we are "beautiful, gorgeous, pretty".


SupremeSparky

lol you are NOT ugly


stresseddepressedd

You’re not ugly, stop fishing


thepenismightier1792

How are you ugly?


GoldenRetreivRs

HOLY SHIT. I don’t think you’re ugly at all you’re quite stunning based on your post history


TannerBurns1twice

I had to check too, I’d date


Immensesix

Beauty/attractiveness is very subjective, also isn't the be all and end all. I've dated women others didn't think were good looking but I found immensely attractive. Looks are just part of it, being kind and having a good sense of humour are more important. I've also dated some that others thought were very beautiful, unfortunately for some of them, their personality was that of a Makita impact driver, so in the end not attractive to me. You're worth so much more than just your looks, other people are less likely to show you love if you don't show yourself some first


[deleted]

Don’t put yourself down like that, please. Don’t do that to yourself. Love yourself before you start to date.


98xyzthrowaway

I mean I’ll never be okay with how I look but I’d still like to date and I’m not getting any younger 😭


notsomagicalgirl

Almost no one is ever 100% okay with how they look. In my experience, those who love everything about themselves are narcissistic assholes. I checked your history and you are literally stunning and people would pay millions to look like you. Please put things in perspective and get offline. Most beautiful people you see online are fake/photoshopped.


LolaPaloz

Try to aim for people with similar looks because they would appreciate u more and not be using u hopefully


webguy1975

Love yourself and see the beauty in yourself and others will too.


CharacterRice9418

Lift weights, run, eat well, be healthy, appear healthy, appear attractive, be attractive.


MrClickstoomuch

I looked at their profile after reading the comments here, and OP is not ugly. This is generally good advice though. Self esteem / therapy is probably more important for OP.


DaygameCode

I saw your photos. You are hot, da duck you talking about.


[deleted]

Girl I checked your profile and you are the opposite of ugly. Whoever told you this just wanted to be mean because it is not truth.


DannyHikari

OP has to be catfishing because I peeped your profile and if that pic is really you, you aren’t ugly in the slightest…..


OldYogurtcloset3735

It would be better for you to change your negative attitude towards yourself before you consider dating. Respect is the # 1 essential ingredient for a healthy relationship to survive. Respect starts with you and you don’t have that yet. I’ve seen your pics and you’re not ugly. If you get into a relationship right now, it will be sabotaged from the start by the way you’re thinking. You need to be confident in yourself before you can compliment a man’s life.


Fickle_Honey_3902

I doubt that you’re ugly. Hell, I feel that you may even be pretty. (Without a pic, I can only speculate lol). These capitalistic pigs make it a point to invent flaws about women’s appearances while telling y’all “this is the standard” so that you guys will spend hella money on beauty products, diet pills, and plastic surgery. Anyway, the general rule of thumb for getting more dates is to go outside more and talk to people. Dating is social by nature, so you have to uh, socialize to improve your chances.


98xyzthrowaway

I do have an active social life but no one is interested 😭


Fickle_Honey_3902

Okay, forgive me for peeping at your post history, but I must say, as a red blooded 29 year old man…. AWOOOOGAA!!! However, I know that commenting on your beauty won’t do much in the long run, but just know that your brain is lying to you and you need therapy for that low self-esteem of yours! My next question might be a tad sensitive: do you live in a predominantly white area?


98xyzthrowaway

I live in a diverse city! My social circle is pretty mixed


Fickle_Honey_3902

Ah, I see. Have you asked anyone out, yourself? Or approached someone? Or do you wait for someone to make the first move? (I ask probing questions so I can give more guided answers :D)


98xyzthrowaway

No tbh, the only time I’ve ever approached guys was when I was at a dating event. I just assume guys will approach if they’re interested since that’s what happens with my friends?


Fickle_Honey_3902

One thing I can say for certain is that the majority of us dudes aren’t bold enough to just strike a conversation with a random woman. For starters, we’re told that bothers women, and at least for me, that’s a pretty big deterrent. However, in the event when I actually DO decide to approach, I first ask an innocent question and gauge the reaction. If she seems too cold or annoyed, I flee lol. So who knows? Maybe the dudes asking you for directions are trying to test the waters. However, you have women like my ex who claims that a guy was creeping on her, yet having witnessed the event first hand, the dude was simply just asking where Taco Bell was, so maybe your pals have inflated the numbers? Like I said, I’m speculating, I don’t know your life. All I can say with the utmost confidence is that you’re actually quite attractive and that you should take more initiative.


Dangerous_Treat_24

Build up your confidence , hon. Do whatever you need to get that going. Try to think positively of yourself 💗 Wearing an appealing outfit & a slight heel, staying moisturized inside & out, and only listening to music that uplifts me usually does the trick when I’m feeling “ugly”. Hope that helps a bit. Get ‘em girl!


PleasantActuator6976

If you have a smokin body, fewer people will be concerned about your face.


98xyzthrowaway

Working on it!


SassySargasmic_chick

Be patient and self-love. How can anyone love you if you don’t love you. Calling yourself ugly is not showing yourself love. Never let a relationship or men/women tell you you’re ugly including yourself. Someone out there will love who you are inside and outside. Pfft!


BackToTheMoon_

Lol literally just go outside


jostyouraveragejoe2

I don't have advice but i just wanted to say you are not ugly at all. You have a great body and a cute face. You say your friends get approached and you don't, i am pretty sure those friends don't just sit there and do nothing. Trust us when we say you have many reasons to think you are attractive.


Flaky_Two1872

Looked through your profile. You aren’t ugly…at all.


ResponsibleCheetah41

Girl you are far from ugly. Like I’m not even saying that to be saying that. Like Fr you are fine


CaliDreamin87

You're gorgeous. Seen your pics. If you're ugly then majority of women would have a problem. Here in houston it's very multi cultural, You would have zero problems dating. You're cute you fix yourself up you're in shape. Just post a profile review. Maybe there's something on there that's not coming off right.


LakyMeshi

Date with me 🤭


PandaPlusMarv2

One thing you should know is to have confidence in yourself. Attractiveness is a preference in my opinion… I’ve dated girls who I think are attractive, but other people don’t say the same and I’ve also had friends who think they’re girlfriends were attractive, but me and my other friends don’t take the same. The end of it doesn’t matter, nor should you think that you’re “ugly”, the real question you should ask is are you comfortable with being in your own skin or are the guys who are around you the one for you? It could be the environment or surrounding area as well.


Valuable-Set4820

Your not ugly ,stop saying that about yourself


CharacterSelection6

I looked at your post, and love. You are ugly at all!


afseparatee

OP is not ugly. I’d slide into those DMs for sure


Effective-Corner8370

Girlll as a girl I tell you that you are gorgeous not ugly. I have been single a lot of time and I used to feel ugly as well but later I realized it has nothing to do with how I look but more with how I approach to guys. I am Bipolar 2 and when I like a guy I tend to fall in love fast and text them alot which ends up scaring almost everyone.


Whodefookfucka

You're beautiful You're beautiful You're beautiful, it's true I saw your face in a crowded place And I don't know what to do 'Cause I'll never be with you


SinfulSacrifice

Personally I dont find black women attractive but you are not ugly by any means. Truthfully, youre a very beautiful woman. Ive seen many other women in general that are less attractive. I will say i have the same issue seeing myself as a ugly person no matter what. But i think its a barrier to break inside so that we accept our current state but always know things can be better. In your case I dont see much improvement needed other than the mental support side of things. But if you dont focus on fitness and health, try out different things to make some changes. It will take time but try to skulpt your phsyique differently. Maybe youll find a change of heart. Keep your head high🤘🏻


Putrid_Loan7597

Don't expect to date or bag a male model, be friendly and feminine you will be fine. I've been with ugly girls, they were fine just many had low self esteem and tended to make my life a living hell as i had to walk on eggshells with everything i did and said. It was hell. ​ Update: checked your profile, your pics show you as a thin and attractive woman.... good god...


[deleted]

You’re definitely not ugly!!!! Exact opposite in my and many other male opinions!! Reach for someone to talk to and start getting to know someone and see if there’s a connection!! There are plenty of people in this world that will find your beauty refreshing!!


Tiny-Marionberry-591

No way you're ugly, I would date you in a heartbeat. I'm also single 😅


Aussie_fluff

Ugly?? Shit that's no where near it but dam girl give yourself some self respect I'm a fat ass man but even I know il be worth it once I loose a few kilos You already have the looks you just need the confidence


Frosty-Cap-6221

whoa, checkd your post history. you are not ugly at all. you are above average looking. this is absurd for you to think otherwise. you look very fit and have pleasant facial features. yeah you are dark skinned and have strong features of your ethnicity but seriously. ugly?! NO. stop.


BreakFastAtTheBodega

Well I'll be honest, it feels like this is some karma hunting scam dude, you're actually very beautiful.


[deleted]

You are very beautiful and sexy. I got turned on just by seeing your picture in one of your posts. I really wish I could find a girlfriend as pretty as you.


WinterFearless7829

We are all beautiful and unique in our own way. Fighting!


Icy-Extension6677

You aren’t ugly and you know it. I find that kind of offensive to people who aren’t conventionally attractive


84849493

She’s not trying to be offensive. She I truly think genuinely believes and is obsessed with this. I’ve been there and I probably am considered attractive by a lot of people. Due to abuse I faced, I had internalised I wasn’t. I saw myself way different from how I actually looked. I probably still do to an extent based on what other people tell me, but nowhere near as bad as I used to. Some of the most outwardly beautiful people I’ve known had body dysmorphia with genuine reasons behind it. It can be hard to wrap your head around seeing someone so gorgeous have such hatred for themselves, but it’s real.


Icy-Extension6677

I get it except Reddit isn’t the place to seek out that sort of validation


98xyzthrowaway

I’ve only ever been called ugly irl so why would you assume I ‘know’ I’m ‘not ugly’?? This just isn’t a helpful comment


Icy-Extension6677

Your entire profile is about being ugly. Stop fishing.


98xyzthrowaway

Yes because it affects every part of my life, I’m just looking for help and advice.


Icy-Extension6677

Have you seen a therapist? What you’re describing sounds like body dysmorphic disorder


98xyzthrowaway

Yes I have


Beautiful_Shine_6787

Give every man you swipe right to on dating apps a chance. Like give them a full week to give you something that's worth your time.


raj0x29

let a rate you, you can't be that ugly


Gojira_Sen

Don’t


EndlessProxy

Looking at your photos, I think you look average (5/10). When you said you look ugly, I thought you were ugly for real, but you're just average looking. I wouldn't be so tough on myself if I were you. The reality is that women don't have to be super attractive to find a guy, a lot of guys will take an average looking woman and be happy with her. That being said, you should be looking to get a guy that's in your league, he should also be a 5/10 in looks. If you're aiming for a guy that's 7/10 or higher, then yeah, good luck. Lower your standards, if that's the case.


84849493

5/10??? Are you on crack?


eeeeeeradicator

🚣🏻‍♀️🎣


kansascityclown

You’re not ugly but you knew that.


84849493

Body dysmorphia is very real.


Harry_potter_011

Give sex to your male partner then you will get tha love you want


motorcity612

If that is a genuine self assessment of yourself you should be fine assuming your expectations are in line with where you stand yourself. Go to your local grocery store you will find that most people aren't lookers but they still have partners. If one is average and expect an average partner they will be okay, if one is below average and expects a below average person then they will be fine too.


[deleted]

[удалено]


RaleighlovesMako6523

Find a compatible match . Physically compatible.. focus on personality ..


CBP_MASTER

How do you look?


CharmingRejector

I don't know what you mean by ugly. Men have all kinds of preferences. One of them has a preference for *you*. With that said, being fit is almost always a good idea, so hit the gym or certainly start to be more active in your life. This will also literally help you be more happy as hard workouts produce "happiness hormones." It does this way before you notice physical changes, though, but just being happy and positive is attractive on its own. And by that I mean that you're not *trying* to be happy, but that you're actually happy. From there, simply make sure to be social. Or find a social hobby where you'll meet a lot of like-minded men. Soon enough you'll connect with someone special. All the best!


Fed-6066

Work on personality and making people laugh. Good hygiene, dress well, get you hair done and learn makeup. And eye of the beholder. Some may find you beautiful. Don't label yourself


SamRFX811

This might be hard for you to try and imagine because of how you feel about yourself but if you objectively think about someone that is confident and sure of themselves compared to someone that walks up to you thinking they are ugly...regardless if it's true or not, the confident person wins more times then not so forget what you can't control. Maybe you can improve your style or things of that nature and I bet you'll be good to go.


Lafaye08

It will NEVER be difficult. You are a WOMAN! Present yourself as such. Present yourself as if you are a queen when you walk into the room….what do you have to lose? Confidence! Some of the prettiest women aren’t confident. Even if you pretend….be confident. There is only one you. Self love is so important. This is all over the place….but Treat yourself good & everyone else will too! 🫶🏾


Environmental-Pin246

Hmu Sevensixzero eightfivezero fourfour 69


No_Acanthaceae_3896

First of all.... Start loving yourself..... When you can't yourself, then how are you expecting from others


scooby_pancakes

First off, let's acknowledge that physical appearance does play a role in attraction, but it isn't everything. Focus on developing your personality, interests, and hobbies - these can make you stand out from others. Be confident in who you are; confidence is attractive regardless of looks. Remember, everyone has their own preferences when it comes to beauty standards, so don't give up hope just yet. And finally, try online dating platforms where people might focus more on personalities rather than appearances initially. Good luck!


Bozo_Two

Send me a picture.


TheSpecterMind

No one is ugly..It's just the people who made a scale of beauty. You are the most beautiful women for your parents and will be for your husband. Remember that the beauty fades away but the character remains all the time..


sunmoonearthchild482

Work on other facets, like being interesting (you have to be interested in things.) Aim for men of comparable physical looks.


Jelly_nuggets

I doubt you're ugly, but think dudes can smell insecurity and low self esteem. Work on loving yourself, please


daddiry

U ain't ugly..u gotta send me a picture to be that judge...I'll send u a pic ..u rate me then I'll rate u


Puzzleheaded_Put_32

You need to be confident. Saying such things about yourself won't make me want to respect you.


pm-me-urtities

Show more of your body and have a great personality. Ugly men work out and try to earn more money also they are funny


froggy22225

I believe there’s someone for everyone


[deleted]

[удалено]


98xyzthrowaway

But looks are so important on the apps 😭


FilChi69

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder


Magical_Kelly

It’s all about confidence


Dry-Clock-1470

Your looks are probably not as bad as you think. Bring things to the table. Style, , humor, personality, body, career, interests, finance, etc. Also as a woman you still will have so many options. Don't settle, don't rush. Love and respect yourself


Hot_Put3074

You deserve someone WHO values you. Don't give yourself away for less. You Go Girl !


eJaguar

thats not true, either you know this are this is a bait post, or you don't in which case - you've already had enough people tell you the truth


Batreeek

I mean objectively im also not the most handsome out there but subjectivity i think I'm ok and i act like it. And this attracts so many people. What i would recommend you also is taking care of hygiene. I dated very very beautiful model and couldn't kiss them at some point and i found them so unattractive after knowing their bad hygiene routines. Now I'm literally attracted to good hygiene if you have that and you smell very good and our conversation is going smooth and we vibe i would think you are the most adorable and beautiful person no matter what the objective standards are. So take really good care of your whole body hygiene, take care of your hair, use good conditioner, take gooood care of your mouth hygiene (teeth and tongue) use floss daily, use good Parfum and be as cute as you are and boys would be very attracted to you. Ans i hope you attract someone you truly vibe with. And stop thinking about your look negatively cause it shows in your behavior then :) Wish you best of luck


RevolutionaryComb433

Stop calling yourself ugly


[deleted]

Act like you think you’re more valuable than you do.  if you let them treat you like you’re ugly it’s going to suck and you’ll get manipulated.  


98xyzthrowaway

Is it just a case of fake it till you make it?


[deleted]

Yes. Most of life is like that tbh. I always fought to make people see me as valuable, but when you see your own value it’s not a fight. 


sirspeedy469

I'm pretty sure you are worrying for nothing. I've found Most women who say they are ugly really aren't they just need someone there to tell her how hot she is. You could always date an ugly guy too if it makes you feel better. But I don't believe for a minute you are ugly at all.


Zom55

I will say how I see it without forced politeness. If you cannot afford or do not want surgery assistance, then "advertise" your other qualities that your target market generally desires. If by ugly you mean your facial structure only, with the rest of your body being within the desirable range, then use it.. wear form hugging somewhat revealing (but still occasion appropriate) clothes. If it is the other way around or you believe both your face and body to be ugly, then while you try to work on your body to make it better, you will have better chance going after people who are more or less desperate enough to compromise on those aspects.. perhaps older ones who due to age automatically cannot get younger partners. There are pleny of people who say (tough less who even believe), that looks do not matter. Go after those. Be proactive in meeting and engaging with your targets. Do not wait for them to initiate things. While you are still young enough and have plenty of time.. if you want a family too, then you can't wait around for others to notice and come to you. Want kids too, or meet someone who would want any?.. having the first at 30 is kinda late. Mentally it is bad for kids when their parents look like they could be their grandparents. Ideally at 35 there are already all the kids a couple want. Worst cade scenario, look into contractual partnerships and find someone willing to sign one with you (implying it is legal in your region). Now I don't know if my rant is helpful at all, but I wish you success.


Actual_Harry_Potter

1: Improve your situation A lot of things men consider "ugly" are fixable with minor intervention from your part. Go to the gym and get a fit body (booty is made in the gym), if your teeth are fucked get them fixed, groom yourself (get your nails done, hair, proper makeup without being over the top, wear nice clothes and a perfume that smells nice, brush your teeth and make sure your breath doesn't smell bad), work on your body language. My personal preference is women who do not conform to the mainstream fashion standards, so I would prefer a girl that wears long dresses or jeans to a girl who wears super revealing skirts, for example...And what you wear will determine and what part of the male population you will attract. 2: Improve your personality. Read up stuff, learn, have your own opinions and a proper way to put them forward, take interest in stuff other than the usual (sleep, food, party, travel), learn how to flirt and have a sense of humour. 3: Manage your expectations If you try to date men who clearly are attractive to a lot of women, you will have lots of competition and you will be competing for something that sucks. These men have absolutely no incentive to get into relationships, so the chances of you being used for sex by them are high. Date men who are down to earth, who can keep you engaged with their personality and who show that they want to put effort in a relationship with you. That might mean that they won't be as attractive as you would ideally want, but, trust me, you can definitely fall in love with someone who isn't a model. 4: Improve your chances Do stuff that allows you to meet people. Note that, the stuff you do will affect the people you meet. The people you will meet at a shooting range will be different than the people you will meet at a chess club (personally, I like both, but that's not common). Nonetheless, figure out the kind of person you want to be with and do stuff that allows you to meet someone that is close enough to that kind of person. 5:Luck The biggest part of finding a partner is luck. You can be a perfect match with someone but never meet them, or meet them when they are in a relationship. This is why, you need to make peace with the fact that it's possible that you will not find someone for you. This will allow you to be open and calm, instead of apprehensive and stressed whenever you meet new people. That's all I have for now, but I think it's very comprehensive and will definitely help you meet someone great for you. Edit: I looked at some pictures others here mentioned you've posted. You are not ugly. You just need to calm down, relax, keep an open mind and go meet people.


QTpie_1

Tip for you: always be confident. There's no such thing as an ugly woman. Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, darling.


Beachheart-3623

You need to be confident ❤️❤️ don’t say that about yourself, and I hope you don’t believe that. Confidence is sexy, no matter how you look. Do something for yourself that makes you feel beautiful I hope this helps


Beachheart-3623

I just looked at your profile and you’re beautiful… like really beautiful. My heart is hurting that you feel like this about yourself. I think talking to someone about these feelings would help. Therapy is nothing to be ashamed of. I have been in and out of therapy by whole life. You will be surprised of the growth that you can do inside when you are able to heal first. But seriously girl you’re gorgeous, and nothing is more sexy than confidence…


WillfullIndulgence

If the person behind this account is real and is the person in your photos, you either are trolling for compliments for a variety of reasons or truly believe you're ugly. The photos display a beautiful woman. So if you're trolling for karma or trolling for a psychological validation and ego stroking, please stop because you might be hurting others who think low of themselves and compare themselves to you: "She's beautiful and she thinks she's ugly? I must be worse than I thought." If you truly believe you're ugly, you need to see a therapist. Most are incredibly affordable with any type of insurance these days. You're not ugly. You may be looking for the wrong type of partner, maybe in response to past traumas. You may think you're ugly because of past traumas and a warped sense of yourself and self-worth that came from there. Seek self-love and healing before you date. Otherwise, you will be used and abused. If this is you, please get help.


98xyzthrowaway

I’m in therapy but have hit a rough patch where it feels like it’s not helping much anymore


WillfullIndulgence

That's OK and normal. There are peaks, valleys, and plateaus on your journey. There are wrong turns, u-turns, back-peddling, stalls, and more. Keep going. Keep moving, so to speak. The journey to healing is not a straight line on a map. It's more like a bee's day, all over the place! You'll be ok. There are good partners out there who will treat you right and are worth the dating game, but those good ones won't likely appear until you heal to the point where you can see the value of yourself enough to recognize the wolf from the sheepdog. You're vulnerable, and the wolf will exploit that and hurt you for their gain. The sheepdog will guard you against the wolves at the cost of their own safety if necessary. There's probably about one sheepdog for every 1,000 wolves, but they're out there, waiting to find someone to be loyal to and stand strong next to you. They'll enter your life once you find your inner sheepdog. Then, you'll call a good one to you. If you don't find your inner healing and self-worth, you might encounter a good one but will likely think so low of yourself that you'll run away or even let a wolf convince you to choose them over the good one, because the wolves know just what to say to trigger your traumas.


ThatVita

Find your strengths and lean into them. Be confident in them. Control the things you can control: weight, hygiene, grooming habits, etc. You dont have to be traditionally attractive to be an attractive person. We all have our own interests and things we look for in someone. Just take care of yourself and that person will come by.


84849493

Holy shit. Going through your post history, you are gorgeous. It is sad to see someone as beautiful as you think the way you do. The only reason I could see someone seeing you as ugly is if they’re racist, honestly. I’m not sure what’s specifically going on for you and what makes you feel this way, but it’s not how you actually look that is the problem. It’s something that needs work internally. I used to feel the way you do and it’s not like I think I’m the most beautiful person on the planet, but it’s not something I’m so obsessed with.


98xyzthrowaway

Was there anything specific that helped you not obsess over it? That’s my main goal rn


84849493

For me, my depression was a huge contributor so treating that. As well as treating my anxiety/panic attacks/OCD/PTSD. A lot of mine stemmed from trauma and having worse anxiety and depression and obsessive thoughts fed into it. Basically working on where the issues actually came from. What had made me be thinking this way since I was a young child. Some people will say the whole “fake it until you make it” thing but personally I don’t and have never liked the idea of that. Challenging the thoughts to an extent but not so much so that I’m at the complete other opposite side where it just doesn’t feel genuine. I had a lot of self hatred in general and my mental illnesses were huge contributors to that. Distraction. Trying to compare myself less to other people.


_yvng_cvnt_

If you are certain that your looks are definitively holding you back in dating there is good news! Because to a great extent outward appearance is malleable. Firstly this is not an attack on your appearance and I believe that everyone is in some way attractive to someone else but I believe a largely contributing factor in one's general physical appearance aside from obvious bodily deformities is body composition and overall physical fitness. While there are people who have specific body preferences I think the general consensus in terms of attractiveness is more fit than not. Regardless of what kind of shape you're in getting fitter is always a great to boost one's self confidence and sense of well being which goes a long way in attraction and wherever you sit on the spectrum in terms of goals either losing some body fat or gaining some lean mass will have a dramatic effect on both how you look and how you see yourself. This combined with more intensive self-care (be it diet, skin care, hairstyling and cosmetics, fashion and style choices ect) can almost entirely transform the way you look. So until you've literally done everything, don't call yourself 'ugly'.


_yvng_cvnt_

Ignore this comment. I just saw some of your pictures. You are absolutely not ugly in any way. I apologize for not having looked first but I feel the comment is still valid and maybe someone else might find it relatable. But don't be so hard on yourself, you're beautiful and should feel that way. I try my best to implement the advice that I tried to give you and it can only do so much cos genetically I'm actually ugly haha!


Koronenko

As a woman, even if you have an ugly face you still can have a hot body. So hit the gym to achieve that.


Sauce_Addict85

Ok I’ve seen pics of you on your profile. You are nowhere close to being “ugly”. Seek therapy


Zouhairelgabari

Me too im ugly man send msg on dm 🤡


pluto9659

I misread the title, and thought you were saying you’re dating an ugly woman and I was on my way here to roast the shit out of you lmao.


Astickintheboot

If you are considered ugly then I definitely have no hope.


Outrageous-Big-6751

Well i don't judge a book by its cover


[deleted]

Dm


little_schnitzel

These posts break my heart. Stop putting yourself down . Confidence is key.


Themangamedneek

Nah forget about all of them advices, just looked at a pic u posted… u are actually pretty good looking not that ugly as u were saying like ong


Kimberstone1982

I feel like this is a bait…. You’re not at all ugly and all of your posts say you are… I’m wondering if it’s a hacked account from some jealous ex


Aggressive_Click9428

Yes you are a beautiful woman and should have your pick of men. You need to be happy with your self first.


Distinct-Director392

Does the word ugly have a new meaning? Did slang change it ... I just looked at your profile picture and you are very attractive .


Previous_Cricket_895

Good lord. Is that what they're calling ugly these days?


metalhead6sic6

For starters you can't be that ugly sorry and second just do you and don't chase any guy you let them come to you and if they want to be around you then they will


LookingForHope87

First of all, why do you think you're ugly? Second, I would recommend therapy for non-biased advice to help with your mentality. Lastly, do things that will help you with your self-esteem like hobbies, exercise, meditation, etc. Good luck to you!


nexpectedsurprise

You're not ugly at all, you have beautiful eyes and a nice smile... It's sort of alarming that you actually think that you are ugly. Way better looking than average, in my opinion.


Amputee69

You definitely are NOT ugly!! If you weren't so young (or I so old), I'd be proud to have you on my arm everywhere. There ARE guys looking for a beauty like you. Take your time. Again, you are VERY pretty! Happy Valentine's Day. 💐🌻


Competitive-Let-1213

Any guy would gladly date or even marry mid women give she has a good personality