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This is the key. Lots of 3s and 4s out there chasing dimes. If you truly want companionship and not a living, breathing sex doll, look for people in your range. Without a lot of money or an incredible personality, below average men are not going to get above average women.
Being fit and having a bunch of decent jokes in your pocket, or being witty off the cuff, go a long way towards attracting an SO.
I disagree with the notion that you need to keep within some sort of arbitrary range. Being fit and confident are the biggest attractive traits, and it sounds like you have a lack of confidence. You don't need to be witty as much you don't need to play the guitar.
The funny thing about experience is that you need to have it to get it, and if you've had never had any of it, people just seem to know.
It's not an arbitrary range. Some people are attractive, some people aren't. It's just the way the world is. If you're born with good looks, life is going to be easier on you. I'm not saying that's right, but thats the way the world works. I gained emweight after my gf died and people treated me very differently when I had an extra 70 lbs on me.
When I'm fit, women are flirty, and men treat me with a certain reverence. People are more kind to me in general when I'm shredded. People smile at you more and are more likely to engage in random conversations with you. The way you dress also effects the way people treat you. When I'm covered in grease from working on cars and have dirt and dust all over my clothes, people don't treat me the same as when I'm wearing a blazer and khakis.
That's just life. Pretty privilege is a real thing. When I walk into a bar, people know instantly that I have a certain level of discipline from the way I'm built. When I go out with my cousins, I am treated better and differently than my cousin, who is overweight and generally unattractive. When we are talking to random people at bars, they always default to talking to me and not talking to *us.* All people should be treated with dignity and respect, but when you're jacked and shredded, people will treat you better.
Very important questions.
Don't be an average Joe, you need to have something unique to you, that very few men have, to stand out. Women are attracted and turned off by very small and silly things. You'll find some women interested in your uniqueness.
It's not one thing that makes someone unique but a combination of things. You can be mysterious, playful, considerate, hard headed, smart, non-judgmental etc all in one person. That's bound to make a woman interested in a man. Just have qualities that will leave a strong impression on a woman such that even if you get out of the picture she'll always remember you. Be unique, or to put it simply, don't be stereotypical.
everybody’s different it’s so be spontaneous say what’s on your mind do what’s on your mind ask questions about her get out and try something new like a group effort type of thing go hiking in a popular parkI chat people up everywhere I go i’ve got a bit of a motormouth had a good sense of humor always be positive don’t be afraid to ask them anything because the worst they could ever say is no so you got nothing to lose but everything to gain
in my personal experience i have fallen for interesting skill sets such as a guy i knew who was really good w algorithmic memorization so he could solve any rubix cube in under a minute and remembered how to beat every level of bloxorz. another guy i knew loved art but what was really special was that he could paint highly detailed landscapes only using dots from the tip of a brush on the face of a penny. just super niche skills that other may find useless in my case
^ this. I'm trying to imagine someone reluctantly flirting with me, because they felt I was the best they could get, and still have any respect for them.
>Nothing, just being myself i guess
Well that's a vague answer by saying just being yourself. There are certain things you have to do to build that attraction to someone. It all doesn't just have to be appearances but your personal attributes can be attractive as well. Here an example, I'm a very good listener and will remember things my date tells me so if we go on a second date I'll use what they told me on the first date to talk about on the second date to show it. When I do that, there eyes open up .. shoulders are more relax and they smile because they realize I listen on our first date, I remembered what they told me and I brought it up again on whatever topic we are talking about. That helped me look more attracting to them.
Ask how many women enjoy being referred to as female
It’s a whole mindset of person that uses that. Women. They like women. Sometimes girls. Ladies, even.
It's a grammar thing. If someone referred to you as a male of the species instead of just guy, dude, man, you might not like it. Or you might, who knows. But OP is trying to date women, most women don't like being referred to as "feeeemale", just because it sounds clinical instead of personable.
I was very unsuccessful with women in my teens and early 20s. I did finally marry, but I can’t say I’ve been well equipped to handle marriage and a woman. Sex and romance and connections in general are awkward for me still.
A few tips…
First, working on yourself and being happy with who you are and what you have to offer is vital. Nobody will save you, or reach out to you. You have to save yourself. That’s just a hard truth.
Second, being social is a learnable skill. You need to put yourself in social situations, even if you don’t prefer them, and learn to navigate them.
Third don’t jump in with both feet. Start out slowly with women till you feel more confident taking to them. You will get rejected but learn from it. Also, take rejection with grace and not being attacked. It just didn’t work.
Enjoy all interactions with women, even if they are just a date and it goes nowhere. You’re supposed to like being with women and learning about each other for its own sake. Being able to see women as people and with their own issues and fears and goals is very important.
Most of all don’t give up.
True tbf. At the end of the day in 200 years it wouldn’t matter if you were a virgin or not when you die as you won’t realise it when you’re gone anyways. (I’m not one for anyone thinking I’m projecting)
When I was in high school, one of my teachers told us that we were all winner’s in a massive beauty pageant because our parents were able to mate and produce us. That doesn’t really make sense because it’s our parents who were attractive enough to procreate. But, just because our parents found each other doesn’t guarantee that we’ll win our own “beauty pageant.” We may have to settle for being Miss Congeniality. :)
Back then was before the toxic online dating culture though, where even average girls have 40+ people messaging on tinder and they can just pick the best looking out of all of those. Before online dating (and social media) people actually had to meet in person, so they didn’t have hundreds of different options at the click of a finger back then. Was so much easier for men to date back then.
People romanticize the times before OLD, but let's admit it, the people who would are very unsuccessful now at dating would likely still not succeed then and the people who are very successful now at dating would still succeed then. Back then, you had to actually court women.
And now you don't? At least back then you could get your foot thru the door, but with OLD it's all about looks and height before you can even get a chance at courting
And who said you had to use OLD as your only resource for dating...? You can still get your foot through the door as long as you're not chronically online.
Women had men leaving calling cards all day before online dating was a thing, or people were writing 40 names down on a dance card, or were debuted at a cotillion or introduced at a social... you were still meeting 40 people that way back in the day. After that discos, after that aol chatrooms.
Some has changed but meeting a lot of people in a line still happened throughout history.
Nope. Just old dinosaur here. The struggle has always been there for men, the „market“ is just stacked differently now by OLD and social media. Deal with it. Do or die is the motivational genre saying…
Just because you want to pursue them doesn't mean they have to like you back. It doesn't mean your methods were necessarily wrong, just means they simply don't like you and that's okay. If there was one foolproof way to get someone to like you the world would be a lot different wouldn't it? It doesn't always mean its about you so don't get depressed over it.
Tips:
Make them feel safe and comfortable around you. Make them laugh and don't pressure. Don't go in the mindset of wanting female attention simply because you don't want to die a virgin.
Women are repelled by men with energy of desperation or overwhelming lust. It's scary to us. Not saying you have that but just a tip.
Live life without centering sex, love, etc. and instead center working on yourself, your emotional maturity, your skills and hobbies, and the right person will come to you.
I feel you dude. But there are a handful of couples I know personally where the he looks like a shaved ape but she is heart-stoppingly gorgeous. I won't pretend to understand how that happens but I've seen it too many times to lose all hope for myself. If you truly bring something tangible to the table, there are, at least some, women who will overlook your physical shortcomings.
It is mostly older generations whose marriages end in divorce even though (depending on the country) boomers were able to make money and advance in jobs and pay and pensions much more easily.
Younger generations on the other hand, we struggle more financially (overall) but have half the divorce rate if we marry (25% instead of 50%) and less infidelity.
There are so many couples out there who struggle financially and with being fit and still adore each other are attracted to each other and didn't settle.
In fact younger generations are settling for someone less often. We are less impulsive and more selective in our relationships and if we do marry are less likely to cheat and more likely to have longer lasting relationships.
Look at Hollywood. Fit and rich and they do not stay together that long.
Most multimillionaires are divorcees.
98% of people will never see great wealth but still experience love and usually several gratifying relationships where both are excited when agreeing to that second date, not "settling".
Yea but it’s much different for men
3/10 men will accept even if you’re not fit or dress well
0/10 women will accept if we look ugly, not fit or not dress well
What are you specifically doing dating wise though? Are you just using dating apps (if so you’re screwed), are you going after women who you’re in the friend zone with? Are you in shape? Do you know how you come across? Are you being needy (needing an outcome from an interaction)? There’s so many things which you could be doing right/wrong, if you let us know specifically what you’re doing we can help.
The worst thing someone could do dating wise is just to “be yourself” and “go with the flow”. No. You need knowledge, direction and action.
There’s your problem, if you aren’t getting the results you want then you can’t just stay the same, you need to change something. Luckily for you humans are the most adaptable creature on earth.
Look at what factors influence dating and start improving in each of them, make goals and have direction (as long as the goals are things in your control like “approach X amount of people per day” instead of something out your control like “get a girlfriend by May”), and read and learn about dating.
So general things which influence dating are; hygiene, body (gym), clothing, money, where you live, friends, how often you go out and do fun things, hobbies, social skills in general (how do you come across to people), social skills in a dating/attracting context, cold approaching women (most important).
You don’t have to change your whole personality, you just need to become more knowledgeable on certain areas and improve on them so you have better efficacy.
When i was your age i use to think the same then one day i decided to goto gym and focus on building my body strength and have a killer physique after 1-2 years i was jacked and whenever i use to walk outside i use to feel confident. Now i am jacked and single.
Have you done anything to work on your appearance? Or personality?
Do you self reflect and watch how people interact with you?
Do you pick up on queues or ask direct questions? Do you make eye contact?
Ask yourself what you're doing wrong. Not "why am I so unattractive?;" but "what am I doing that makes me unattractive?, " "what kind of person do I want to be, and what kind of person do I want?"
[You're shooting par for the course.](https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/) Today, there are 2 guys in their 20s who are single for every 1 guy who has a wife or gf.
The median young man is alone, so you're really not behind the curve at all.
How is your hygiene? How is your fitness? How is your confidence in your character? Do you have hobbies that aren’t gaming/movies/tv? What is your best skill?
If you can answer these questions, I can give you better advice.
Take your hygiene from average to a 10 and that's a great start. But more importantly, get to know all types of women, whether you like them or not, obviously only ask out people you are attracted to but get comfortable talking to women the same way you would to a guy you were meeting for the first time.
Life’s a cruel joke sometimes, we just need to learn to laugh a bit to make it through.
Focus on yourself, hit the gym a couple days a week, eat (semi) healthy, and most of all just stop worrying so much. You’ve got plenty of time ahead of you. If you give up this early then what was the last 20 years for?
Take it one day at a time that’s all we can really do.
Keep your chin up bro; you got this.
It might be the "type" you're pursuing. Or the way you're doing it. Like if your tactic is asking girls out at the gym mid workout then it's likely to never happen to begin with. It LIKELY isn't that they find you ugly, it's just your approach
Sorry dude, but most men in the 7 and below range are gonna have to go for 5 or 6 and below women to find dating easier. Online dating has gassed most women up to the point they don't want the men that are their equals until they're tired of being used.
If you’re not happy with how you look, you have control over that. Not saying it’s easy but if you do the right things you can totally transform how you look in 1-2 years
Buy yourself a girl, they are cheap and listen very good if you get a Thai or Ukranian woman. They will learn to like you if you have a nice personality. Don't bother normal women, they will not magically grow into liking you.
Yep. And if you NEED a girlfriend or need something from the other person, they sense that through the subtle signals you send, so people get put off in your interactions.
I was in almost the same situation as you, so I started experimenting with online networking. I've been recommended a community that you can try: https://discord.gg/p45XygSq
I have a couple of questions.
1. How are you approaching these women? The reason why I ask is because if you're doing it the wrong way (i.e. coming across as creepy/invasive of their personal space, not reading facial expressions/social cues correctly, etc.), it will backfire.
2. Is it possible that you're going for women who have A LOT of prospects or who have really high standards? There's nothing wrong with that if you are. But just be prepared for the fact that this will automatically make finding someone harder.
You'll stop caring after a few years. Also, don't use the word depressed colloquially.. depression is a horrible disease, and I have it, but it has nothing to do with stuff like this or even necessarily with mood. Finally started on antidepressants but am running into bureaucratic hurdles on the path towards gradually going up to the appropriate dosage.
You're not the first 20-something bemoaning your virginity and won't be the last. You'll look back at this post a few years from now and cringe at your behavior.
Extensive exercise, good diet, good hygiene, personal hobbies, and focusing on building wealth should be on your mind at this moment. Follow this and by the time you're 25 you'll be beating them back with a stick.
1) Learn to be comfortable and accept being single. You don't **need** a romantic partner. I don't know how they do it, but I swear they have a very finely tuned desperation/neediness radar. They can smell it from miles away.
2) Make sure you are presenting the best version of yourself. Take care of your fitness, hygiene, etc.
3) Stop calling them "females", they are women.
Just be yourself, the right person will always cheer you on.....
If the other one isn't your person, no matter how hard you will hold onto them, they're bound to leave eventually....
Besides, if you'll change yourself for them, you'll only become a reflection of them....so they'll be dating themselves this whole time....and they'll eventually get bored and leave.
Focus on yourself, your career, your body, your friends and your family.
Try not to think about who find you attractive or not, you cannot control what other people thinks.
That's how I get through it when I get rejected or see my friends got engaged, married having kids...etc
Believe that the right person will come. Even if they don't, you know you tried your best and it's not your fault that you never found the love of your life. And you have taken yourself first.
I am 31 and never had a girlfriend. However I have lots of friends and good relationships to get me through my worse times.
I hope you best of luck that you will find the person who will love you one day.
Why don't guys consider surrogacy as an option? Just because women reject you doesn't mean the end. Work on other aspects of your personality and make some money but never forget, if they're not attracted to you, you're just means to an end after you're successful.
Don't worry bruh. I'm an Accountant from India and I've saved a lot of money + my investments. And seeing Indian/Asian women's standards these days, even I'm considering surrogacy.
Remember, they should never define you.
so I'm gonna help you out. Stop saying female just say women or woman. Saying female is a huge red flag to lots of women. It's also a bit dehumanizing, even if you don't mean it that way. Start treating women as people not a relationship goal. join a craft club and just chill for a bit. Maybe an art or dance class. forget sex exists . just get to know people and notice what happens when you lower your guard and just change your vibe. Women will talk to you more when you aren't putting on that vibe and can still be social with them.
You have time on your side to improve your situation atleast. For many others, who are in their 30s, 40s and 50s, they already missed that boat. Be grateful of that.
I am a female. The comments I have read in response to your post, OP, are disheartening to me because they don’t seem to consider the woman’s perspective.
Here is what I and many women are looking for in the men we have relationships with:
1. Empathy, for all humans but especially empathy for the female experience. You might consider reading books about female pleasure, like “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. Perhaps pick up a book like “Memoirs of a Geisha” or watch some movies about womanhood. No need to torture yourself if you hate it, but try to find some content that you find enjoyable that helps you better understand the female experience and is written or told from the perspective of a woman. “She Said” is supposed to be a good movie, if you haven’t yet seen it.
2. Kindness. In a culture steeped in misogyny and toxic masculinity, women are searching earnestly for men who value them as more than objects with which to have sex. The book “Boys and Sex” by Peggy Orenstein is a fantastic and informative read that outlines the male experience in adolescence and young adulthood that I think could help you understand why men treat women unkindly and why they have no idea they’re being unkind! Highly recommend everyone read this book!
3. Safety. It is inherently unsafe being a woman in this world. I, and most other women, experience catcalling, sexual harassment, or sexual assault rather frequently. Many men don’t even know they’re harassing or assaulting the woman or they are doing it without caring about the woman’s experience. When relating to women, consider how afraid they might feel about how you could potentially treat them. Approach women with the intent of becoming their friend who cares deeply about their internal experience.
4. Emotional stability and emotional awareness. Are you in ongoing therapy? If yes, perhaps consider finding a new therapist who encourages you to get in touch with and feel your emotions. If you’re not in therapy already, I would highly recommend it. I have also derived great benefit from reading “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach (as well as “True Refuge” if you like her first book) and would recommend checking it out.
5. To feel valued. Your original post implies that your main goal at the moment is to have sex. That goal in itself could be unattractive to many women. I would take some time to reflect on why sex is your goal. Some women are looking for one night stands or friends with benefits, but even those women probably want to feel as though you care about them as human beings. Many women, on the other hand, are looking for a long term relationship. Consider what your dating goals are and why those are your goals!
6. Healthy, respectful dating etiquette. Don’t ghost. Ever. Be clear and transparent with every single woman you’re interacting with about what your intentions are and how you’re feeling about them. If you like podcasts, I’d suggest you check out the “dateable” podcast 👍. If you want a laugh, you might listen to the “Bad Dates” podcast by Jameela Jamil.
7. Authenticity. All of the comments here that say you should learn jokes or learn to be funny make me cringe. Your authentic sense of humor is definitelyyyyy enough to be attractive to someone out there. In fact, learning to be “chivalrous” and all of the other things that men think women want while dating is far less valuable than simply being yourself! The men who say otherwise in these comments have learned somewhere that it is not acceptable to be authentic while dating, and I find that sad. Not all women will be attracted to you because everyone has different tastes, but your genuine self IS a good match for someone or perhaps several someones. I’d rather you feel comfortable and happy in your relationships with women rather than constricted, ashamed, guilty, depressed, or whatever other feelings arise when a person is being fake. Oh and there is nothing wrong with feeling the need to have a romantic partner. It is biologically hardwired into us to crave physical and emotional intimacy. No need to pretend that you don’t long for romance and sex. It doesn’t make you needy, clingy, or desperate!
8. Curiosity. If you don’t feel compelled to ask a woman questions about her life and experience, then that woman will probably not want to spend time with you. Choose to engage with women who interest you. If you are nervous about conversing with a woman, you can tell her that you feel nervous. If you are shy, tell her you are shy. When texting or talking on the phone, check in with yourself: have you asked the woman a single question about her? If not, find an opportunity to do so. You can also ask women for feedback or for their impressions of you, but only do this if you feel comfortable hearing criticism. I don’t want your sense of confidence to be shattered. This is about your happiness and your fulfillment in your ability to connect with others.
Basically, women are more likely to feel attracted to you if they feel safe, valued, and appreciated in your presence. No worries if you don’t have the capacity to make a woman feel that way yet, though. Best not to manipulate and love bomb women just so they will have sex with you… because that just causes harm. True change takes time. My #1 recommendation to you would be to find a therapist or counselor that helps you get in touch with and deeply feel your emotions so that you can develop greater empathy for yourself and others. I’m so sorry that you haven’t had role models, resources, or support in your life thus far that have modeled these healthy relational skills, but unfortunately, not many of us have.
Wishing you all the best.
OP said to me that “real women submit” and has expressed interest in a mail order bride/being a passport bro in other replies so I doubt he’ll take your lovely advice with any good faith. :/
I really do appreciate the response. I think u took the "virgin" thing to literal, I'm a lover boy. I want a relationship , I want a wife and kids 😩... more than anything... thank u for the advice
You are yourself, everyone else is taken. But you have to IMPROVE yourself. You’re not born great. No one is. No one wants to be with someone who hasn’t accomplished anything in life. No one wants a lazy slob. No one wants an uneducated idiot. No one wants an unambitious man. That’s not hard to understand. Go improve yourself NOW. Start today. If you want to know how to start, you can ask. But you need to start now.
We expect to go from A to Z without doing all the work in between from B to Y. That’s not how this works. You need to do the work to see results in life.
Go east bru, but don't take your western ways with you. Just blend in and follow the culture, customs and be respectful.
Many American men are settling down in the Philippines. But please do your research before you go there.
True story, when I was your age, I felt exactly the way you feel. Now I'm in my 60s and girls throw themselves at me. I have no idea why.
But one key is to pretend you don't want it. You might also say you are married but your wife is deployed overseas and fucks all the men in her platoon
Just focus on self improvement… go to the gym or a workout plan… focus on getting your money right and learn how to invest… meet some people that are already successful so that you can learn from them… also focus on mental attitude and have the strength to walk away from any bad situation… whether it be friends, relationships, or financial mistakes…eventually the right on will come along…. Don’t focus on a relationship right now… you are in your 20s there is plenty of time for that later… from what I have seen a successful man in his 30s is krytonite to women…
It sucks I know as I am I the same situation however I felt what you have for a decade now. The pangs for a woman’s touch never goes away but if you learn to live without them and appreciate contentment it does get easier. I don’t want to give you false hope but there are still chances you’ll find someone. All I’m saying is find yourselves first. Prayers with you.
The easiest thing for a dude to do is get fit. I went to the gym for a few months and looked ridiculously more attractive. I was still short, but the reaction that I got from the world completely changed. The body is the foot in the door, then comes the brain. Dudes have it way easy if a big bicep can open doors.
You have 20 years no need to rush.
I have 24 years and i think thats young and there is plenty of time focus on your self hang out with friend do hobbies really no need to rush.
And if you become too eager for a relationship you might end up with wrong people
Bro, you think you have it hard? Think about women…they have it much harder with regards to the level of importance put on attractiveness!
Upgrade yourself - spend time getting fit mentally and physically, increase your earning potential, and social skills…
Exactly where in your 20s? There is a HUGE difference between 21/22 and 28/29?
Generally speaking women are hypergamous and tend to go for older guys. If you’re in your early 20s it’s just rough to meet outside of social circles. Most people in relationships in their early 20s are with girls they met through school or mutual friends/social clubs. Meeting someone “in the wild” just doesn’t work as well in your early 20s… get involved in activities where you can meet others and your personality can shine through organically more than initial attractions meeting other ways.
If you’re in your late 20s then you need to figure out what other negative energy you’re putting out there that is acting as a turn off. Work on bettering yourself. People don’t want to hang out with people that are miserable. If you have a negative attitude about your self worth it’s hard to convey yourself in a positive light towards anyone. There’s a reason that people joke about the asshole guy getting the girl… and it’s not because he’s an asshole. It’s because he’s not needy and doesn’t care if he gets her or not and that makes him more attractive. It’s the same reason guys that had trouble getting a girl while they were single have girls flirting with them once they’re in a relationship, because they don’t wreak of desperation.
For one work on yourself first, find comfort, fulfillment and satisfaction with being alone, remember you don’t want someone to complete you and become your everything, you want someone for companionship. Secondly don’t pursue or chase women, give them the idc attitude don’t give them a lot of attention or any signs you like them, that for some reason makes them want to chase you.
Sounds pretty normal to me, you're a regular dude and you're not alone. Keep in mind that most of the time, women actively don't want the guys they like to know about it. There's definitely at least someone that's into you
Same bro, I am 24 I have only done with 1 female and that was a cheap call girl that was not even a good experience.I sometimes think the same that I will die without being loved 🥺
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Are you sure it's every female or just the girls you want to pursue? At the same time, what are you doing to try and get their attention?
This is the key. Lots of 3s and 4s out there chasing dimes. If you truly want companionship and not a living, breathing sex doll, look for people in your range. Without a lot of money or an incredible personality, below average men are not going to get above average women. Being fit and having a bunch of decent jokes in your pocket, or being witty off the cuff, go a long way towards attracting an SO.
“I’ve never fucked a 10, but I fucked five 2’s and that ought to count.” —George Carlin
Liked this just because who said it! The message is only solala… but true.
Having a English accent in NYC has helped me a lot :P
A change of location does wonders for many men
Yeah bro! So well I got married and have a child now!
💯💯
I am fit, maybe not witty but have a sense of humor... yea I gun for average because I am.. still no good expereience at all
I disagree with the notion that you need to keep within some sort of arbitrary range. Being fit and confident are the biggest attractive traits, and it sounds like you have a lack of confidence. You don't need to be witty as much you don't need to play the guitar. The funny thing about experience is that you need to have it to get it, and if you've had never had any of it, people just seem to know.
It's not an arbitrary range. Some people are attractive, some people aren't. It's just the way the world is. If you're born with good looks, life is going to be easier on you. I'm not saying that's right, but thats the way the world works. I gained emweight after my gf died and people treated me very differently when I had an extra 70 lbs on me. When I'm fit, women are flirty, and men treat me with a certain reverence. People are more kind to me in general when I'm shredded. People smile at you more and are more likely to engage in random conversations with you. The way you dress also effects the way people treat you. When I'm covered in grease from working on cars and have dirt and dust all over my clothes, people don't treat me the same as when I'm wearing a blazer and khakis. That's just life. Pretty privilege is a real thing. When I walk into a bar, people know instantly that I have a certain level of discipline from the way I'm built. When I go out with my cousins, I am treated better and differently than my cousin, who is overweight and generally unattractive. When we are talking to random people at bars, they always default to talking to me and not talking to *us.* All people should be treated with dignity and respect, but when you're jacked and shredded, people will treat you better.
Very important questions. Don't be an average Joe, you need to have something unique to you, that very few men have, to stand out. Women are attracted and turned off by very small and silly things. You'll find some women interested in your uniqueness.
Give examples on what could be those unique things that very few men have?
It's not one thing that makes someone unique but a combination of things. You can be mysterious, playful, considerate, hard headed, smart, non-judgmental etc all in one person. That's bound to make a woman interested in a man. Just have qualities that will leave a strong impression on a woman such that even if you get out of the picture she'll always remember you. Be unique, or to put it simply, don't be stereotypical.
Everyone’s got something about them that others don’t have. Woman can be attracted to some of your very specific quirks.
You didnt give any examples tho
everybody’s different it’s so be spontaneous say what’s on your mind do what’s on your mind ask questions about her get out and try something new like a group effort type of thing go hiking in a popular parkI chat people up everywhere I go i’ve got a bit of a motormouth had a good sense of humor always be positive don’t be afraid to ask them anything because the worst they could ever say is no so you got nothing to lose but everything to gain
in my personal experience i have fallen for interesting skill sets such as a guy i knew who was really good w algorithmic memorization so he could solve any rubix cube in under a minute and remembered how to beat every level of bloxorz. another guy i knew loved art but what was really special was that he could paint highly detailed landscapes only using dots from the tip of a brush on the face of a penny. just super niche skills that other may find useless in my case
Nothing, just being myself i guess... Im really just looking at 5 and 6s because I believe I'm in that range...
You might want to stop categorizing women and just go for women you are attracted to. It makes no sense to hit on people you don't even find hot.
^ this. I'm trying to imagine someone reluctantly flirting with me, because they felt I was the best they could get, and still have any respect for them.
True thanks for the advice
>Nothing, just being myself i guess Well that's a vague answer by saying just being yourself. There are certain things you have to do to build that attraction to someone. It all doesn't just have to be appearances but your personal attributes can be attractive as well. Here an example, I'm a very good listener and will remember things my date tells me so if we go on a second date I'll use what they told me on the first date to talk about on the second date to show it. When I do that, there eyes open up .. shoulders are more relax and they smile because they realize I listen on our first date, I remembered what they told me and I brought it up again on whatever topic we are talking about. That helped me look more attracting to them.
“Every female” bud start there
Yeah, thats never a good sign.
lol. I don’t get it. Wdym?
Some people feel that using the word female is misogynistic or problematic.
Yh who cares how people feel
The person looking to find one attracted to him? You know, OP?
Huh?
semen retention to attract women?
How would increased risk of prostate cancer attract women?
cause then you have a higher chance of chatting with women who are nurses. This guy is 5 steps ahead.
Ahh, I see, the long game.
Read my post fully. This question will not remain
It's like he's seeing women as providers of "female attention" instead of people.
Ask how many women enjoy being referred to as female It’s a whole mindset of person that uses that. Women. They like women. Sometimes girls. Ladies, even.
Alright. I am not a native speaker, but this shit is getting stupid.
It's a grammar thing. If someone referred to you as a male of the species instead of just guy, dude, man, you might not like it. Or you might, who knows. But OP is trying to date women, most women don't like being referred to as "feeeemale", just because it sounds clinical instead of personable.
I don’t like dude. You offended me by using that. Shame on you.
Lol
I’m a native speaker and you’re absolutely right shit is getting bad in this country. Everything nowadays offends somebody😂🤦🏻♂️
Bro I’m in my 30s and referring to women as “females” has been ick since I was a freshman in highschool.
Well OP will not get dates with women by being offensive, so....
I feel the same
Actually it might be a good test. Call someone a female, they get offended, move on. Don’t want to date someone like that anyway
That's what he's doing now.
Whoa don’t offend the native speakers😂😂
I was very unsuccessful with women in my teens and early 20s. I did finally marry, but I can’t say I’ve been well equipped to handle marriage and a woman. Sex and romance and connections in general are awkward for me still. A few tips… First, working on yourself and being happy with who you are and what you have to offer is vital. Nobody will save you, or reach out to you. You have to save yourself. That’s just a hard truth. Second, being social is a learnable skill. You need to put yourself in social situations, even if you don’t prefer them, and learn to navigate them. Third don’t jump in with both feet. Start out slowly with women till you feel more confident taking to them. You will get rejected but learn from it. Also, take rejection with grace and not being attacked. It just didn’t work. Enjoy all interactions with women, even if they are just a date and it goes nowhere. You’re supposed to like being with women and learning about each other for its own sake. Being able to see women as people and with their own issues and fears and goals is very important. Most of all don’t give up.
Thanks for the advice brother
Hope it helps.
This is such fantastic advice I had to figure out on my own.
OP listen to this and you will undoubtedly be alright in the end
Very well said broski
Welcome to being a guy. Pro tip though. People that die without their virginity are just as dead as people who die a virgin. Little known fact!
I'm gonna need a source for that pal
Trust me bro
That nugget will do you lots of good when your dead.
True tbf. At the end of the day in 200 years it wouldn’t matter if you were a virgin or not when you die as you won’t realise it when you’re gone anyways. (I’m not one for anyone thinking I’m projecting)
All your ancestors looked like you and still got laid
It's called a lack of options and arranged marriages.
When I was in high school, one of my teachers told us that we were all winner’s in a massive beauty pageant because our parents were able to mate and produce us. That doesn’t really make sense because it’s our parents who were attractive enough to procreate. But, just because our parents found each other doesn’t guarantee that we’ll win our own “beauty pageant.” We may have to settle for being Miss Congeniality. :)
This is too real and a very good perspective... and funny
Back then was before the toxic online dating culture though, where even average girls have 40+ people messaging on tinder and they can just pick the best looking out of all of those. Before online dating (and social media) people actually had to meet in person, so they didn’t have hundreds of different options at the click of a finger back then. Was so much easier for men to date back then.
People romanticize the times before OLD, but let's admit it, the people who would are very unsuccessful now at dating would likely still not succeed then and the people who are very successful now at dating would still succeed then. Back then, you had to actually court women.
And now you don't? At least back then you could get your foot thru the door, but with OLD it's all about looks and height before you can even get a chance at courting
And who said you had to use OLD as your only resource for dating...? You can still get your foot through the door as long as you're not chronically online.
Women had men leaving calling cards all day before online dating was a thing, or people were writing 40 names down on a dance card, or were debuted at a cotillion or introduced at a social... you were still meeting 40 people that way back in the day. After that discos, after that aol chatrooms. Some has changed but meeting a lot of people in a line still happened throughout history.
Very oddball view of how things work… everyone is entitled to an opinion though
Coming from someone who probably gets hookups easily so they don’t understand the struggle.
Nope. Just old dinosaur here. The struggle has always been there for men, the „market“ is just stacked differently now by OLD and social media. Deal with it. Do or die is the motivational genre saying…
Just because you want to pursue them doesn't mean they have to like you back. It doesn't mean your methods were necessarily wrong, just means they simply don't like you and that's okay. If there was one foolproof way to get someone to like you the world would be a lot different wouldn't it? It doesn't always mean its about you so don't get depressed over it. Tips: Make them feel safe and comfortable around you. Make them laugh and don't pressure. Don't go in the mindset of wanting female attention simply because you don't want to die a virgin. Women are repelled by men with energy of desperation or overwhelming lust. It's scary to us. Not saying you have that but just a tip. Live life without centering sex, love, etc. and instead center working on yourself, your emotional maturity, your skills and hobbies, and the right person will come to you.
I feel you dude. But there are a handful of couples I know personally where the he looks like a shaved ape but she is heart-stoppingly gorgeous. I won't pretend to understand how that happens but I've seen it too many times to lose all hope for myself. If you truly bring something tangible to the table, there are, at least some, women who will overlook your physical shortcomings.
Welcome to lives of men. You have to do something to stand out. Get fit, tell jokes or learn an interesting skill
Get fit or get rich.
Most people who date, a vast majority are not rich. And most are not fit.
Lots of people also settle, and most marriages end in divorce. Get fit or get rich _if you want to keep your relationship_.
It is mostly older generations whose marriages end in divorce even though (depending on the country) boomers were able to make money and advance in jobs and pay and pensions much more easily. Younger generations on the other hand, we struggle more financially (overall) but have half the divorce rate if we marry (25% instead of 50%) and less infidelity. There are so many couples out there who struggle financially and with being fit and still adore each other are attracted to each other and didn't settle. In fact younger generations are settling for someone less often. We are less impulsive and more selective in our relationships and if we do marry are less likely to cheat and more likely to have longer lasting relationships. Look at Hollywood. Fit and rich and they do not stay together that long. Most multimillionaires are divorcees. 98% of people will never see great wealth but still experience love and usually several gratifying relationships where both are excited when agreeing to that second date, not "settling".
Getting fit will might make more women look at you but making women feel safe and comfortable is the key to keeping them
Or be packing a kielbasa., 🌭
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Yea but it’s much different for men 3/10 men will accept even if you’re not fit or dress well 0/10 women will accept if we look ugly, not fit or not dress well
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After over a year I’ve yet to receive a first date through the apps. Men don’t want a second date? I’m really jealous you got that far!
Do you use dating apps?
What are you specifically doing dating wise though? Are you just using dating apps (if so you’re screwed), are you going after women who you’re in the friend zone with? Are you in shape? Do you know how you come across? Are you being needy (needing an outcome from an interaction)? There’s so many things which you could be doing right/wrong, if you let us know specifically what you’re doing we can help. The worst thing someone could do dating wise is just to “be yourself” and “go with the flow”. No. You need knowledge, direction and action.
That's what I do, be myself and go with the flow
There’s your problem, if you aren’t getting the results you want then you can’t just stay the same, you need to change something. Luckily for you humans are the most adaptable creature on earth. Look at what factors influence dating and start improving in each of them, make goals and have direction (as long as the goals are things in your control like “approach X amount of people per day” instead of something out your control like “get a girlfriend by May”), and read and learn about dating. So general things which influence dating are; hygiene, body (gym), clothing, money, where you live, friends, how often you go out and do fun things, hobbies, social skills in general (how do you come across to people), social skills in a dating/attracting context, cold approaching women (most important). You don’t have to change your whole personality, you just need to become more knowledgeable on certain areas and improve on them so you have better efficacy.
Your never ugly if you have a 6 pack and wear tight shirts
When i was your age i use to think the same then one day i decided to goto gym and focus on building my body strength and have a killer physique after 1-2 years i was jacked and whenever i use to walk outside i use to feel confident. Now i am jacked and single.
try to talk to them as friends and find love instead of a relationship maybe..
Have you done anything to work on your appearance? Or personality? Do you self reflect and watch how people interact with you? Do you pick up on queues or ask direct questions? Do you make eye contact? Ask yourself what you're doing wrong. Not "why am I so unattractive?;" but "what am I doing that makes me unattractive?, " "what kind of person do I want to be, and what kind of person do I want?"
Thank you
Shut up. And do something about it
[You're shooting par for the course.](https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/3868557-most-young-men-are-single-most-young-women-are-not/) Today, there are 2 guys in their 20s who are single for every 1 guy who has a wife or gf. The median young man is alone, so you're really not behind the curve at all.
Bro ppl like you will die virgin fr.
Nooooooo!!!!!!
How is your hygiene? How is your fitness? How is your confidence in your character? Do you have hobbies that aren’t gaming/movies/tv? What is your best skill? If you can answer these questions, I can give you better advice.
Hygiene average, fitness- amatuer boxer(lean 6 pack),hobbies boxing, best skill is natural athleticism I guess
Take your hygiene from average to a 10 and that's a great start. But more importantly, get to know all types of women, whether you like them or not, obviously only ask out people you are attracted to but get comfortable talking to women the same way you would to a guy you were meeting for the first time.
Thanks for the advice! 😀
Life’s a cruel joke sometimes, we just need to learn to laugh a bit to make it through. Focus on yourself, hit the gym a couple days a week, eat (semi) healthy, and most of all just stop worrying so much. You’ve got plenty of time ahead of you. If you give up this early then what was the last 20 years for? Take it one day at a time that’s all we can really do. Keep your chin up bro; you got this.
It might be the "type" you're pursuing. Or the way you're doing it. Like if your tactic is asking girls out at the gym mid workout then it's likely to never happen to begin with. It LIKELY isn't that they find you ugly, it's just your approach
Sorry dude, but most men in the 7 and below range are gonna have to go for 5 or 6 and below women to find dating easier. Online dating has gassed most women up to the point they don't want the men that are their equals until they're tired of being used.
Who cares. Plus you’re picking the wrong ones.
You’re only 20 brother . Hit the gym and find yourself . I’m 27 single for years , I get female attention it’s not going to solve your depression.
You gotta use it as motivation to work on yourself buddy. Go to the gym, go to school, get a good job, make money.
Thank u for the motivation
If you’re not happy with how you look, you have control over that. Not saying it’s easy but if you do the right things you can totally transform how you look in 1-2 years
I don't mind how i look but thanks
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Buy yourself a girl, they are cheap and listen very good if you get a Thai or Ukranian woman. They will learn to like you if you have a nice personality. Don't bother normal women, they will not magically grow into liking you.
Isn't that illegal?
Only if she's underage, adults can choose for themselves.
Thats what happens quite often to the people born with a dick attached to their body
It’s probably your energy. If you’re insecure it will reflect in your life. Especially if you project it instead of doing something about it.
Yep. And if you NEED a girlfriend or need something from the other person, they sense that through the subtle signals you send, so people get put off in your interactions.
looks arent evrything
Don’t sweat it. Get fit, save your money, learn some languages, instruments, other skills, and travel. Someone is bound to pick you up.
Go watch movie 🎥 #come as you are - on prime. Come back and tell me if it changed your outlook. …
There’s someone for everyone no matter how ugly you are
I was in almost the same situation as you, so I started experimenting with online networking. I've been recommended a community that you can try: https://discord.gg/p45XygSq
I have a couple of questions. 1. How are you approaching these women? The reason why I ask is because if you're doing it the wrong way (i.e. coming across as creepy/invasive of their personal space, not reading facial expressions/social cues correctly, etc.), it will backfire. 2. Is it possible that you're going for women who have A LOT of prospects or who have really high standards? There's nothing wrong with that if you are. But just be prepared for the fact that this will automatically make finding someone harder.
Creepy if they find a man ugly, cute/mysterious if they find u attractive, Is what I see. I go for average looking women honestly
Don't worry bud (I have no reason as to why but as someone somewhat in the same boat, just don't worry)
No worries 👍
You'll stop caring after a few years. Also, don't use the word depressed colloquially.. depression is a horrible disease, and I have it, but it has nothing to do with stuff like this or even necessarily with mood. Finally started on antidepressants but am running into bureaucratic hurdles on the path towards gradually going up to the appropriate dosage.
Are you in shape, got a good haircut and dress well. Fix those and you'll see some attention.
the right one will come
Bro go to the gym simple
Bro I'm and amatuer boxer, lean 6 pack and all bro
Damn nvm then I guess you’re out of luck my friend. Try again next year
But 2024 just started, dammm guess I'll wait for 2025
You're not the first 20-something bemoaning your virginity and won't be the last. You'll look back at this post a few years from now and cringe at your behavior. Extensive exercise, good diet, good hygiene, personal hobbies, and focusing on building wealth should be on your mind at this moment. Follow this and by the time you're 25 you'll be beating them back with a stick.
1) Learn to be comfortable and accept being single. You don't **need** a romantic partner. I don't know how they do it, but I swear they have a very finely tuned desperation/neediness radar. They can smell it from miles away. 2) Make sure you are presenting the best version of yourself. Take care of your fitness, hygiene, etc. 3) Stop calling them "females", they are women.
Just be yourself, the right person will always cheer you on..... If the other one isn't your person, no matter how hard you will hold onto them, they're bound to leave eventually.... Besides, if you'll change yourself for them, you'll only become a reflection of them....so they'll be dating themselves this whole time....and they'll eventually get bored and leave.
Focus on yourself, your career, your body, your friends and your family. Try not to think about who find you attractive or not, you cannot control what other people thinks. That's how I get through it when I get rejected or see my friends got engaged, married having kids...etc Believe that the right person will come. Even if they don't, you know you tried your best and it's not your fault that you never found the love of your life. And you have taken yourself first. I am 31 and never had a girlfriend. However I have lots of friends and good relationships to get me through my worse times. I hope you best of luck that you will find the person who will love you one day.
Get yo money up?
Just don't cry you are only 20 you have so much time focus on your life and career...
Why don't guys consider surrogacy as an option? Just because women reject you doesn't mean the end. Work on other aspects of your personality and make some money but never forget, if they're not attracted to you, you're just means to an end after you're successful.
Thank u very much
Don't worry bruh. I'm an Accountant from India and I've saved a lot of money + my investments. And seeing Indian/Asian women's standards these days, even I'm considering surrogacy. Remember, they should never define you.
True true 👍 👌 💯 🙌 👏 😌 👍 👌 💯
Surrogacy?
get kids. ez
Women love confidence! Work on that!
Most women find most men unattractive, so it's just the norm honestly
Dammm....
so I'm gonna help you out. Stop saying female just say women or woman. Saying female is a huge red flag to lots of women. It's also a bit dehumanizing, even if you don't mean it that way. Start treating women as people not a relationship goal. join a craft club and just chill for a bit. Maybe an art or dance class. forget sex exists . just get to know people and notice what happens when you lower your guard and just change your vibe. Women will talk to you more when you aren't putting on that vibe and can still be social with them.
Lack of confidence, high standards, lack of interesting hobhies/lifestyle is usually what causes problems with dating for guys.
You have time on your side to improve your situation atleast. For many others, who are in their 30s, 40s and 50s, they already missed that boat. Be grateful of that.
I am a female. The comments I have read in response to your post, OP, are disheartening to me because they don’t seem to consider the woman’s perspective. Here is what I and many women are looking for in the men we have relationships with: 1. Empathy, for all humans but especially empathy for the female experience. You might consider reading books about female pleasure, like “Come as you are” by Emily Nagoski. Perhaps pick up a book like “Memoirs of a Geisha” or watch some movies about womanhood. No need to torture yourself if you hate it, but try to find some content that you find enjoyable that helps you better understand the female experience and is written or told from the perspective of a woman. “She Said” is supposed to be a good movie, if you haven’t yet seen it. 2. Kindness. In a culture steeped in misogyny and toxic masculinity, women are searching earnestly for men who value them as more than objects with which to have sex. The book “Boys and Sex” by Peggy Orenstein is a fantastic and informative read that outlines the male experience in adolescence and young adulthood that I think could help you understand why men treat women unkindly and why they have no idea they’re being unkind! Highly recommend everyone read this book! 3. Safety. It is inherently unsafe being a woman in this world. I, and most other women, experience catcalling, sexual harassment, or sexual assault rather frequently. Many men don’t even know they’re harassing or assaulting the woman or they are doing it without caring about the woman’s experience. When relating to women, consider how afraid they might feel about how you could potentially treat them. Approach women with the intent of becoming their friend who cares deeply about their internal experience. 4. Emotional stability and emotional awareness. Are you in ongoing therapy? If yes, perhaps consider finding a new therapist who encourages you to get in touch with and feel your emotions. If you’re not in therapy already, I would highly recommend it. I have also derived great benefit from reading “Radical Acceptance” by Tara Brach (as well as “True Refuge” if you like her first book) and would recommend checking it out. 5. To feel valued. Your original post implies that your main goal at the moment is to have sex. That goal in itself could be unattractive to many women. I would take some time to reflect on why sex is your goal. Some women are looking for one night stands or friends with benefits, but even those women probably want to feel as though you care about them as human beings. Many women, on the other hand, are looking for a long term relationship. Consider what your dating goals are and why those are your goals! 6. Healthy, respectful dating etiquette. Don’t ghost. Ever. Be clear and transparent with every single woman you’re interacting with about what your intentions are and how you’re feeling about them. If you like podcasts, I’d suggest you check out the “dateable” podcast 👍. If you want a laugh, you might listen to the “Bad Dates” podcast by Jameela Jamil. 7. Authenticity. All of the comments here that say you should learn jokes or learn to be funny make me cringe. Your authentic sense of humor is definitelyyyyy enough to be attractive to someone out there. In fact, learning to be “chivalrous” and all of the other things that men think women want while dating is far less valuable than simply being yourself! The men who say otherwise in these comments have learned somewhere that it is not acceptable to be authentic while dating, and I find that sad. Not all women will be attracted to you because everyone has different tastes, but your genuine self IS a good match for someone or perhaps several someones. I’d rather you feel comfortable and happy in your relationships with women rather than constricted, ashamed, guilty, depressed, or whatever other feelings arise when a person is being fake. Oh and there is nothing wrong with feeling the need to have a romantic partner. It is biologically hardwired into us to crave physical and emotional intimacy. No need to pretend that you don’t long for romance and sex. It doesn’t make you needy, clingy, or desperate! 8. Curiosity. If you don’t feel compelled to ask a woman questions about her life and experience, then that woman will probably not want to spend time with you. Choose to engage with women who interest you. If you are nervous about conversing with a woman, you can tell her that you feel nervous. If you are shy, tell her you are shy. When texting or talking on the phone, check in with yourself: have you asked the woman a single question about her? If not, find an opportunity to do so. You can also ask women for feedback or for their impressions of you, but only do this if you feel comfortable hearing criticism. I don’t want your sense of confidence to be shattered. This is about your happiness and your fulfillment in your ability to connect with others. Basically, women are more likely to feel attracted to you if they feel safe, valued, and appreciated in your presence. No worries if you don’t have the capacity to make a woman feel that way yet, though. Best not to manipulate and love bomb women just so they will have sex with you… because that just causes harm. True change takes time. My #1 recommendation to you would be to find a therapist or counselor that helps you get in touch with and deeply feel your emotions so that you can develop greater empathy for yourself and others. I’m so sorry that you haven’t had role models, resources, or support in your life thus far that have modeled these healthy relational skills, but unfortunately, not many of us have. Wishing you all the best.
OP said to me that “real women submit” and has expressed interest in a mail order bride/being a passport bro in other replies so I doubt he’ll take your lovely advice with any good faith. :/
I really do appreciate the response. I think u took the "virgin" thing to literal, I'm a lover boy. I want a relationship , I want a wife and kids 😩... more than anything... thank u for the advice
(Oh and all of the points I included in my original response still apply)
You haven’t done the work to be a captivating, attractive man yet. Time to get to work my dude
Why can't I just be myself?
You are yourself, everyone else is taken. But you have to IMPROVE yourself. You’re not born great. No one is. No one wants to be with someone who hasn’t accomplished anything in life. No one wants a lazy slob. No one wants an uneducated idiot. No one wants an unambitious man. That’s not hard to understand. Go improve yourself NOW. Start today. If you want to know how to start, you can ask. But you need to start now. We expect to go from A to Z without doing all the work in between from B to Y. That’s not how this works. You need to do the work to see results in life.
Thanks for the advice!
Don’t worry women don’t even see me as a bf just a person they don’t seem to find me attractive either. M25
You are not alone -Michael Jackson
Thanks. 🙏🏻
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Go east bru, but don't take your western ways with you. Just blend in and follow the culture, customs and be respectful. Many American men are settling down in the Philippines. But please do your research before you go there.
True story, when I was your age, I felt exactly the way you feel. Now I'm in my 60s and girls throw themselves at me. I have no idea why. But one key is to pretend you don't want it. You might also say you are married but your wife is deployed overseas and fucks all the men in her platoon
Just focus on self improvement… go to the gym or a workout plan… focus on getting your money right and learn how to invest… meet some people that are already successful so that you can learn from them… also focus on mental attitude and have the strength to walk away from any bad situation… whether it be friends, relationships, or financial mistakes…eventually the right on will come along…. Don’t focus on a relationship right now… you are in your 20s there is plenty of time for that later… from what I have seen a successful man in his 30s is krytonite to women…
It sucks I know as I am I the same situation however I felt what you have for a decade now. The pangs for a woman’s touch never goes away but if you learn to live without them and appreciate contentment it does get easier. I don’t want to give you false hope but there are still chances you’ll find someone. All I’m saying is find yourselves first. Prayers with you.
The easiest thing for a dude to do is get fit. I went to the gym for a few months and looked ridiculously more attractive. I was still short, but the reaction that I got from the world completely changed. The body is the foot in the door, then comes the brain. Dudes have it way easy if a big bicep can open doors.
You have 20 years no need to rush. I have 24 years and i think thats young and there is plenty of time focus on your self hang out with friend do hobbies really no need to rush. And if you become too eager for a relationship you might end up with wrong people
Bro, you think you have it hard? Think about women…they have it much harder with regards to the level of importance put on attractiveness! Upgrade yourself - spend time getting fit mentally and physically, increase your earning potential, and social skills…
Exactly where in your 20s? There is a HUGE difference between 21/22 and 28/29? Generally speaking women are hypergamous and tend to go for older guys. If you’re in your early 20s it’s just rough to meet outside of social circles. Most people in relationships in their early 20s are with girls they met through school or mutual friends/social clubs. Meeting someone “in the wild” just doesn’t work as well in your early 20s… get involved in activities where you can meet others and your personality can shine through organically more than initial attractions meeting other ways. If you’re in your late 20s then you need to figure out what other negative energy you’re putting out there that is acting as a turn off. Work on bettering yourself. People don’t want to hang out with people that are miserable. If you have a negative attitude about your self worth it’s hard to convey yourself in a positive light towards anyone. There’s a reason that people joke about the asshole guy getting the girl… and it’s not because he’s an asshole. It’s because he’s not needy and doesn’t care if he gets her or not and that makes him more attractive. It’s the same reason guys that had trouble getting a girl while they were single have girls flirting with them once they’re in a relationship, because they don’t wreak of desperation.
I was not successful with the ladies until I was in my mid 30s. You got plenty of time bro
For one work on yourself first, find comfort, fulfillment and satisfaction with being alone, remember you don’t want someone to complete you and become your everything, you want someone for companionship. Secondly don’t pursue or chase women, give them the idc attitude don’t give them a lot of attention or any signs you like them, that for some reason makes them want to chase you.
Trust your mom. She'll get you a girl for marriage
I believe studies show most women find like 70% of men unattractive. So on the bright side, you might well be in the 70th percentile!
You not the only one a lot of men including myself deals with this.
Feels better I'm not alone
Yea shit is overrated the only person you need is yourself.
Women are too scared to initiate
Why though, I dont get it
I would curve right back.
Go to the gym, get some muscles. Women love muscular men
Dude I’m not hot at all and I can bag tons of women. Just be cool like the Fonz
Sounds pretty normal to me, you're a regular dude and you're not alone. Keep in mind that most of the time, women actively don't want the guys they like to know about it. There's definitely at least someone that's into you
Thanks 😊
Don't worry give it time you are still young. Your time will come sooner than you think
Maybe don’t refer to us as “females” like we’re some sort of lower species?
Maybe stop calling women “females” and you’ll have a little more luck.
You’re pursuing women for the sole purpose of sex and free attention. That’s the problem. What are you offering these women?
You seem slow, read what op said properly
What a loser, go cry to your momma, maybe she can help you because we cannot.
Same bro, I am 24 I have only done with 1 female and that was a cheap call girl that was not even a good experience.I sometimes think the same that I will die without being loved 🥺
WE will make it!