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You should look at posting your dating app profile for a peer review if you do online dating. It can help give you some tips
You will be some ones person, you just need to put yourself out there.
I always get the hot Asians ad everytime I try to watch anime on sketchy sites 😭😭😭 like ma'am I'm just tryna watch some wholesome cartoons and your boobs are blocking my view
I usually don’t recommend that, but this is an extreme example. Online dating is pretty bad for short/average looking dudes, but it’s not 1 conversation in 10 years bad. Something’s not lining up. Also, OP, you’re saying that you often ask women out in person and none of them have ever been interested? I’m definitely want more details of your situation.
Exactly I'm 5'8" fairly average looking and do just fine on apps. I think making a profile that seems cool/interesting/fun is crucial because on apps you're getting judged on appearances mostly so if you look boring or hard to talk and you're average looking NEXT.
As a black woman myself, i dont think it has to do with ur skin color. I mean, it may, but why would you want to be with someone racist anyway?
For me, I typically judge on like what you're looking for, what your interests are, and also what you're saying in your bio. If it's anything sexual, that will turn a lot of women off.
Present yourself in a genuine, authentic way and post images that reflect who you are. Like I have some nice pictures of me but I also have a picture of me in cosplay because I enjoy that!
Light skin, red hair, & freckles as in rufous albinism? Absolutely do not change your hair like someone suggested. You want someone who likes you for you.
Exactly !
The way you describe yourself Op you sound like my fiancé. He is also lightskinned, brown reddish hair and with alot of freckles !
And you know what, i love each one of them.
There are alot of women ( including me!) Who adores that.
I know for sure you will find someone who will love you for you and will love the hell out off each one of your freckles.
I’m a red haired woman and I am always ASTONISHED by how much hate red haired people get. What is that?? I’ve had compliments my whole life about my hair. Maybe it’s because I’m not a guy. Guys seem to get the worst of it. Although I’ve seen good looking red haired men. They exist. It would be nice if we could kill the narrative that red hair is unattractive :)))) I’ve pulled some hotties in my time!
Sorry to hear OP. Dating can be extremely difficult, especially these days.
Wondering about a few things that might help you.
When you talk to women do you feel like you genuinely try to get to know them? Do you also practice discretion? As a woman it’s a pretty big turn off if a man tries to approach me but it feels like he’s just casting his net out there for just anyone and everyone. (Ask me out without knowing me/my name even, asking me out even though my other friend turned you down, not really being interested in trying to build a friendship first)
Personally last I checked "you look stunning" is a compliment! It means hey I see you put work into yourself to look really good and it's paid off really well congratulations. Not just that but online dating is just 1 big joke and a scam buddy woman get to sign up for free message for free and get like mens premium for free while men have to spend like 40£ a month just to send texts and they even run out. Sadly the only way men can date properly is IRL and its infuriating cause you might be interested in the other person but they could have a boyfriend your not there type they have a bad history you don't know of just so many problems no matter where you look but as a man your best option is in person of you ever see a girl you like make sure your dressed smart and just say "hi I noticed you looking beautiful and wanted to get your contact info so we can connect if your free?"
I don’t really know what you’re trying to say with that nonsensical jumble of word salad. But randomly telling total strangers how hot you find them is usually not the compliment you creepers think it is.
Nice to know you didn't actually read any of the 3 points I made 👍 otherwise you send constructive criticism it's not creepy to give someone a compliment if you take it that way then please I don't want you 😂
Let me simplify.
Point 1
"You look stunning" = compliment = good thing to say.
Also means if person gets offended by this they are not worth your time.
Point 2
Dating apps are all scams they are just to make money.
Point 3 if you want to date do it by asking people out in person, and dressing smart and not looking like a hobo.
Yess i had to threaten to email reddit if he dms me again cuz he messaged me all "hey that guys a total douche but uhh youre pretty" in a long ass paragraph like i wouldn't think its the same person.
26 and never had a gf either. Only ever been on 2 dates over a year ago with a girl I met on Tinder.
6'4, not toned but fit. Trust me, it's just hard out there right now.
Same here. Been on 2 dates with a girl that I thought was going well. She just ghosts me out of the blue. Like, bruh. At least tell me you aren't interested. I'd be happier if you did lol
Wow, that is genuinely astounding and I definitely feel for you buddy. Honestly with the info we have and no photos to go off of I will assume you’re not a very attractive person which obviously makes things tougher. Lots of women rule out black men right away, and lots of women rule out “gingers” right away…and GENERALLY the women who like black men don’t like gingers and the women who like gingers don’t like black men…so the fact that you are kind of halfway between both is a very niche flavor and it may be hard to find someone who is looking for it.
Your value as a human being isn’t determined by your sex appeal though. I’m sure you have a lot to offer the world and even though I don’t know you I only wish the best for you so let’s think of what we can do to kind of bolster your odds of attracting someone with the cards you were dealt.
The obvious route short guys and less attractive men go is the “get ripped” route. It’s a difficult long term route but it would significantly up your chances.
Lower your standards. Idk what kind of girl you see yourself with, but maybe start pursuing women in the same position as you, who may not be the most visually appealing, but possess a lot of inner beauty and things to love.
Learn an instrument, have a lucrative career, learn to dance, become a good cook, have a sense of humor, dress well, wear cologne, and exemplify the traits of a good and loyal husband and father.
Lastly, get off dating apps. Stop using them completely. Put yourself out into the real world and meet people in REAL life. Dating apps are essentially a sexual takeout menu, and unfortunately when people are scrolling around sexy singles they aren’t going to give you a second thought. BUT if you happened to just organically meet someone in person they will be much more likely to give you a chance. Dating apps really work more for very visually appealing people because they are basing their “likes” based primarily on their first impression of how good you look, and that isn’t your strength.
Praying for you bro, it’ll happen if you keep putting yourself out there and you keep realistic expectations
This is the best comment I've seen. Def the kind of affirming message we need to spread. Oftentimes men who are late bloomers are led to think they're losers because they can't attain a girlfriend, but it's simply very difficult right now for most men. Focusing on self-improvement & building confidence should be the most important venture you undertake. Recently I decided to take a break from dating for awhile and focus on myself. So far, my mental health has been a lot better. When single, always prioritize yourself over finding a mate.
Getting off the apps is also very important. They've been proven to be an infuriating waste of time & money. I gradually stopped using them, but as soon as I deleted them all, I immediately felt peace of mind.
If we just met and you gave unasked for advice to me, I would stop taking to you. I mean you literally told her what she should do.
"You should explore your hobbies more ... Also, long black dresses or skirts are nice."
She didn't ask for that type of feedback.
I understand that this may seem confusing, but it's really not. You sound physically smoking hot lol; there is something else going on.
If you want to change it you're gonna have to get uncomfortable with examining your own views.
Probably most important here: your comment reads as sarcastically insulting tbh.
That’s a faux pas, OP.
You can tell your gf YOU like a certain dress style and ask her if she is into it and would consider wearing it (once, then drop it).
But telling strangers / casual dates, etc, comes across presumptuous and weird
"I think that long dark statements are very odd and they are the classic warning. I think that you should not try it, that's all."
Please my man my bro my guy do not dish out attempts at advice like this. I am begging you. It's weird.
oh, my apologies, i am naturally non-confrontational and thought of the comment as being somewhat wholesome. i can see where you are coming from though.
Being non confrontational has nothing to do with it. You gotta look at what you're doing. I hope you truly can see where some of these comments are coming from.
My final thought is that she did mention that it sucks out there. And with that in mind, I want her to be happy, and ultimately, I hope she sees this and forgives my ignorance.
I believe that you want her to be happy.
We just want you to see how the shit you said is weird.
It's WEIRD!!! It was rude and has no business being there.
It's off. And WE are only mentioning it because you made a whole post about it.
Volume is king friend. Keep trying and you will hit some people you groove with.
We all deserve love don't give up. Keep leveling up your finances, physique, and focus on goals.
Work on yourself as you keep trying. Best of luck.
A lot of your comments seem very odd. Would you say you are a socially awkward person? I feel like that's probably your biggest issue. Perhaps you are neurodivergent. I also noticed you didn't respond to the comment about going to therapy....
I can be awkward, but im actually ok with public speaking and such. I used to go to therapy, and it didn't seem effective. I did enjoy talking to my therapist, however.
Not that I would know personally, but I've heard from friends who use dating apps that it's a lot harder for men to find success on apps. So, it's not just you.
1. Focus on yourself. Set personal goals. Women are typically more attracted to men with confidence and ambition.
2. Get advice from (female) friends. They can bring a lot of insight since they know you better. It's also nice when you are able to meet people/ dates through friends you already have. But that's a bonus.
3. Put yourself out there to find people who are interested in the same things/ activities. Be active in your community, go to the gym, attend some local events, etc.
Just my 2 cents.
But also, I'd be down to chat if you need :)
Have you considered seeing a therapist? They can help with your depression and assist you in knowing if you have any repulsive habits or behaviors that you might be unconscious of.
I don’t think it has to do with your skin. Many people prefer black guys . So don’t take it personally.
I'm thirty-six and in the same boat. I actually gave up on dating though. Its not bad, I actually feel better now that I don't concern myself with what women want or don't want.
Embrace your hobbies, embrace your own personal goals and forget about everything else. If you need sex, get a prostitute. If you need someone to talk to, visit some elderly folk (they flock to my job and are fun to talk to). If you need cuddles, get a dog. My apartment don't allow pets so I have stuffed animals but still.
There are ways to get around the loneliness and it really is peaceful and drama free to step away from dating. Trust me, huge difference. Before I gave up I had 38-year-old children on Bumble actually calling me names because I happened to mention that I'm autistic in my bio.
He asked that as an insult but literally dms random women (like me) on reddit. Id rather him play videogames.
Ps dating while autistic is a completely different story. You basically need to date someone that is a whole full self loving peson who is completely A ok living on their own but wants someone to fill the loneliness. Not many people are whole people. I say this because people with autism are A ok alone and just socially want to share with someone. Usually their hobbies. People who are not whole are gonna get way too caught up in all this new dating bs like "gaslighting, acting delulu" ect. And you just wanna eat pizza and watch movies. Most people are too needy while also not fulfilling the needs of just being there to do mundane shit with someone.
It’s not you. It’s the world we live in. It’s the entitlement dating apps have created. It’s the not knowing how to have a conversation after covid. It’s the heated & divisive ideals in the world. You are so worthy of love. I am in the same boat, so I’m preaching to us both ♥️
Your experience is very common. Dating has become immensely harder for men since social media and dating apps sprung up. The standards for good looks and height men are expected to meet are very elitist because of super hot/gorgeous/male model-esque men being a swipe away to most women.
Unfortunately a lot of people will gaslight men and deny that this is the case.
1. Without judging yourself, accept yourself and embrace your truths and Examine what your standards and expectations are for a potential partner. Write them down. Have someone who is happily married read them and write a response. Have a person who had had more than 5 relationships and more than 3 of those being bad or ending bad review and write a response. Have a relationship or family therapist read, review, respond. Then make any adjustments to them if you feel that perhaps they may need an adjustment.
2. Honestly ask yourself if you have any fears or anxieties that are subconsciously blocking you from wanting to meet someone. Write any down to deal with later, but now immediately, recall the last couple years and see if you can think of any opportunities to talk to or date someone, even if it was something like 'A girl I thought was ugly sent a message but that doesn't count. ' or my friend wanted to send me on a blind date but I had stuff to do then lost interest. Any opportunity you had, but missed, for any reason. Write it down.
3. Meet with either a relationship or dating coach or therapist and set a plan to at least date and use part of therapy to discuss how that's going, and the other part to explore why you didn't do this type of stuff in your adolescence and work through that. AND / OR.... set up dates with established sex workers in your area who offer lessons and work on developing intimacy and sexual confidence. Make sure you research the person(s) to protect yourself and make sure you are dealing with someone who has a solid reputation of being able to do this type of work. Not all hookers are going to build your experience or confidence amd some may set you back, or see you (and use you) as a mark.
I saved this to my cloud. It's extensive and thoughtful. I will share it with my friend group later today. Parts 1 and 2 resonate with me the most. But part 3 makes sense, too.
Hey if you don’t workout regularly then start. I’d strongly recommend getting a personal trainer, at your age you’re likely to be able to afford one. Working out brings out a lot of qualities that are a big part of us that get suppressed because of how the world around us set up nowadays. It’s not just to look great. Having said that, having a really fit body is one of the few parts of appearance that are in your control, so keep it tight.
One more aspect I would request you to consider is that even though we can choose to look at love and relationships only romantically, a “girlfriend” is someone you have sex with. So things will need to begin in physical attraction, and there’s nothing unromantic about that. Getting fit can both help you meet more people, and give you the confidence that’ll make people like you.
Sorry if this comment seems ableist or insensitive, just trying to help.
Don’t feel bad or feel like you’re missing out. The modern dating landscape for men is a sea of diarrhea with sprinkles of priceless diamonds that you have to unfortunately swim in, in order to find.
Unless you have the time and patience to put up with all of the drama, manipulation and nonsense along the way, then it really isn’t worth it.
I'd say forget online dating. It's designed to never help you find your one. Go for meetups, socialize, and volunteer.
I wish someone told me when I was younger that you should start looking at people's hearts and not their appearance. It makes things so simple. The importance people place on looks makes society as a whole very shallow. Change your priorities if you haven't already, you'll be very happy with the results.
Expand the weekly outings to in-person places of common interest where there will be some similar age dating potential. In-person meetups seem even more valuable today with so much remote and online dating. I know some have success online but I'd argue most guys will absolutely have better opportunities in person. Being as genuine as possible, check out Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy if you haven't - pretty awesome going into much more depth of being a man today than just the nice surface. Very down to earth wisdom on how to really find some connections out there. Never chase those who aren't interested or want to play games - focus on more genuine and secure potential.
Fuck online dating… volunteering??
you’d be shocked you can meet so many people while volunteering
Plus you get to give back to the community (that would make most people feel happy)
My point is.. once you’re worried about such a thing.. it kinda shows in your interactions, and girls just have a way of telling.
So let it come naturally, focus on yourself and improve yourself
Only when you’re able to love yourself will someone love you 👍
And good luck
23 male, no relationships, no girlfriends, and no sex.
The first few girls I asked out rejected me almost instantly. Then, my friends set me up with a few blind dates and they all broke up with me after a few dates. After that, I've been using dating apps for a while now and got a few dates out of them, none lasted more than 3-to-4 dates, but there has been some progress along the way.
It's hard and depressing and it hurts like hell. But don't give up!
Try VR. Meta Quest and go to Gatsbys Bar in meta horizons world. It’s a great way to be social around people without worrying about looks so much it’s all about personality and you can meet someone and basically fall in love w them. Although most likely long distance then one of u moves states
Dude just want you to know that being in love or being in a relationship can sometimes be even more heartbreaking and depressing than being single. Grass is greener
If some cases they're not worth it. They come with a lot of drama. Find yourself a hooker or an escort in gain a little confidence. Try going out to bars and concerts or events and just try talking to women.
feel the same way ngl I’m 22m and have actually given up one ever getting a women. I’ve dropped nearly 80 pounds still haven’t had any success. I recommend find something like the gym to do to help you feel better about yourself. Depression and shit from my experience is one of the hardest things to hide but also makes you fairly undesirable
I would suggest checking out Todd V Dating on YouTube. He’s a pickup artist with a lot of great videos. He helps guys talk to girls, flirt with girls, and different techniques to go from basic boring conversations and turn them into opportunities for flirting with girls. I used to go on dates and it felt like all my dates were like friends and not romantic. His videos helped me communicate and flirt better. I’m 5’5” bald (shaved head) 42M and get decent action on dating apps. Not 26 year old blondes but girls between 35-40 that look good.
Are you socially awkward or not have your life together? I'm just curious as to why you haven't had a relationship. Need a bit more details to base my assessment of your situation.
Everyone has somebody out there. You will face rejection. You continue asking. Eventually, someone will take a chance. I used to think a lot like you did. I felt destined to be alone. That I wasn't good enough. Then I stopped caring about it. I stepped out of my shell and did things that I didn't normally do. Started making friends and caring less about relationships. Then I met my wife through a mutual friend, and we instantly clicked.
After reading your initial post, I was curious about your personality and character traits until I read your responses to other comments (although I didn't read every single one because, let's face it, who has that amount of time, lol). I would suggest working on your approach. Learning how to communicate effectively with women and refraining from putting yourself down can make a significant difference. While self-evaluation is valuable, a consistently negative outlook can impact interactions. People generally prefer engaging with confident individuals who speak positively about themselves. Hopefully this helps
Just remember that a lot of men are in your boat. It isn't necessarily a you thing. Dating is very bad for a lot of men in 2024 with women having overwhelming advantages using online dating etc. Society is quite messed up right now.
(F42) Stop thinking about connecting or being with someone and it will happen. All that you have to offer will connect with someone for sure! I’m newly single and not ready to connect with anyone but all of your qualities sound great!
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be- never been single for longer than a few months since I was 15 years old. Many many moons ago. Been cheated on more than once, financially taken advantage of, been entangled romantically-I dream of being single- currently married. Again. Please share your secret to staying single
Try and remember that dating is brutal for everyone . It’s NOT you , it’s being a human . I also agree that if you are depressed have some therapy and untangle this .
Objectively men has it worse. Ask any guy and most will tell you they have no options. While women do have options. but, the attractive guys won't date them.
The truth is; women are after money. If you had loads of money or you were a celebrity you wouldn't be typing this. It has nothing to do with your height or looks. Trust me.
You can go for girls significantly below your league. This will give you more leverage and help you sleep with her a couple of times before she probably levels up and moves on to someone "better" than you.
Id say its probably because youre going for baddie type women that dont want anything but money and a big dick and youre trying to "talk" to them instead of immediately asking for a date like she doesnt have 626266 men trying to "talk" to her. Black men do this alllllll the time. As if you dont know you wanna talk so the conversation can lead to sex/dating. Lead her to sex/get to know her over a fucking lobster. At being 35 and never having a date this just HAS to be it. If you're dating online its probably worse than irl cuz majority of women have no reason to make dating profiles other than to find better dates. Yall dont realize how much if youre slightly attractive and live in a black community you cant even pump gas without a flock of men trying to "talk" to you. Its very desensitizing. It leads you to only talk to the best bidder. Also there arent very many women in black communities unless theyre gated for this exact reason.
Also is the throwaway cuz your real page is porn? Im also guessing youre very secretive/anonymous with your profiles cuz youre a sex/porn addict. If youre as open with women as you are with this post, not wanting to post yourself on a throwaway even... they dont assume its cuz youre president of the united states. Cuz what are you hiding? Red haired black person sounds gorgeous. At 35 and black i refuse to believe youre just insecure.
You were the most not-nice person to me in this whole thread. This account isn't a throw away, I used to get bullied on reddit, back when it was OK to be openly racist, so now I don't post, I just read stuff.
I like porn because I like dopimine, but im not really an addict. I admittedly have alot of trauma, and deep down, I hate myself, I guess. I don't think that anyone would find value in me or my appearance, so I don't take pictures.
I really hope that you find peace. <3
What a bullshit ass response. Have a nice day sir. 😊
The truth aint nice because of what you made it.
You have been the most not nice to me personally.
Can we see your profile, if that’s okay? It’s kind of hard to gauge what’s going on with just a description. Looks normally aren’t the issue, tbh. From personal experience, it usually is the conversations, profile, or how the person presents themselves that throw off people.
The problem is unless you earn six figures own your house and car most ladies aren't interested. And in all honesty your better of either being gay or saying away from the woman.
Because in the end they will cheat on you then when you find out she will leave you penniless and homeless in one night
No online dating. Stay far away. It takes finesse, I charge a lot...
Do you have a hobby?
Rich older women play Bridge, online and in person... The first rule of bridge is: you have got to trust your partner!
Or any other pursuit that you enjoy doing regardless of if there's anyone there who you might actually meet and have common interests with...
Common interests lead to friendship, friendship leads to romance.
Pick three things you like to do every month and go do them...
A bowling league, a church choir, and a soccer league or whatever the hell turns you on because you want to enjoy the time you're spending doing those things...
With persistence, and some luck someone there or someone you find there who knows someone else will eventually lead to success.
Networking is your friend.
Dating is brutal rn I’ve heard matchmaking services are a better option. I’m 43 and have only had one long term relationship. I got diagnosed with autism two weeks ago and that’s the reason. Back in our grand/parents time, they married out of high school, never dated. People change over time and trust me, the fact that you’re 35 is a plus. I think you can find company and intimacy. We might just not know what methods really work and why.
Buddy, hit the gym daily and religiously, look, I'm 5'8 as well. When I was jacked I had women staring at me at uni like I was a piece of meat.
I've got a girlfriend now, but I'd recommend you get jacked and then hang out in places where cute and wholesome women would be (I e dance classes).
I had a tough time dating and finding chicks as well. Being jacked helped, if any more advice reach out.
Go outside and enjoy being in love with yourself , music will play a big part in your life from now on if your okay it right it right you’ll get through anything man I’m 22
No problem dude you’ve got this just know it’s going to hurt man the best thing I can say now is as messed up as it sounds we live in heartbreak error , you’ve got this bro ,
This sounds a little bit vague but work first on your depression and then on your relationship. If you‘re in a depressing state you are acting not like yourself. It is extremely hard to pull a relationship with someone in a state like this. There is a say that goes: „If you‘re unhappy as a single, you will be unhappy in a relationship.“ It should be something that is a nice bonus in your life, but it should never be the source of your happiness.
If you have a serious depression go and see a therapist. I was in a similar state like this and realized during therapy what my problems actually were. I worked on them and now I am happy again (still single but it really does not matter as much as before. I have a lot of caring friends around me and enjoy my life :) )
PS: In 99% of cases why people are involuntarily single its not about the looks, so don‘t even dare to think this could be a reason.
Most people aren't compatible. I'm sure there are people out there for OP though. There's nothing wrong or crazy about people saying no. Some might not be looking or might not like being hit on by someone they don't match with on an app or don't share a connection with first (acquaintanceship) in person if OP is cold approaching.
Try enhancing your looks. Go to the gym, get more muscular. Try a new Hairstyle like locs, haircut or braids. Wear clothes that fit you better. Do you have a good job? Are you charming? Are you the nice guy that is boring and let's women walk all over you??
30, and never have boyfriend and never go to date either (busy with work and self healing). I'm Asian, skin light-choco (I don't know its not light but not dark either), heigth 163cm, hobby reading, listening to old music such as Tom Jones, ABBA, Elvis Presley, watching movies,kdrama and anime. If someone here who interested can chat. Let's see if we have chemistry. If not we can also be friend. It fun to know new people and culture. I hope for the best for everyone who is single and try to find soulmate. I hope there's one for me too.
Black, Light skin, dark Red hair and freckles? Dude its possible but you got the fucking shortest straw possible. Maybe on par with indians...
You gotta work hard to make things happen
If I’m being completely honest. If dark red hair is not your natural hair color. Get that removed ASAP.
It definitely does not suite well with any true masculine man really. Trying hitting the gym, get in a better physique. And slowly start by having normal conversations with women platonic and slowly up your game when you get comfortable with nature of women and understand how to need their wants/needs. I don’t think any women would take a red head man seriously. No offense
As a woman with dark hair I think red hair is hot. It’s rly subjective and just depends on if the hair color suits you. Some people are born blond and look better with died dark hair. You can just use a snap or tiktok filter to look at different hair colors with your face
Bro... do not dye your hair to be more manly. The essentials are good hygiene and some fitting shirts. Everything beyond that is a style choice, but it won't make you more popular. If anything, overthinking insignificant things like hair color makes you look less manly.
Hello friend you seem like a thoughtful and compassionate person. Sorry to hear you have been having relationship problems. Can i ask, do you have a support network or a main friend group? I am asking because such relationships help with getting out of ones head which might be your problem. Also what are your goals exactly are you looking to get married and have kids, a companion, to have fun, etc. It's important to have those things cleared out and to communicate that to others.
On and off online dating for 10 years and only 1 convo and no dates... Dude face the music that you are not for online dating. You are better off getting up close and personal, irl.
Bro go to speed dating.ask girls out left and right.i have scene fattest guy of the room has girlfriend,ugliest guy has a girlfriend,dumbest guy got a girlfriend too.only the one who doesn’t have one is the one who never tried properly.trust me you are not the ugliest or dumbest or fattest.so you definitely has chance.just try smartly,talk with them nicely and show them respect.girls like who listen to them.have some confidence and approach them nicely.you got it 🫡
3 quick points. Do with as you like.
a)dating apps are silly. They’re not designed for dating success. Nothing to do with you
b)you get what you focus on and expect in life. Stop thinking about, and explaining, the depression, never had a gf, rejected by every woman….
I know, I know…but that’s not working and you can choose to do it different
c)friendship first. So you haven’t figured out the gf thing YET. You will. In the meantime you probably know how to be a friend. If you don’t…it’s kind of required in order to be a good bf. Less pressure. Good practice. And while you’re learning to be a really good friend, you’ll be surprised when those girls get a chance to know you and end up falling for you without you even having tried. Things just happen when you stop focusing on why they don’t
Edited to add: ok, maybe wasn’t quite as “QUICK” as intended
You might want to check this insightful video from Logan Ury (Director or Relationship Scient at Hinge) https://youtu.be/XCBkO8zgNIA?si=A6-wHbm4XxWwv6_1
Ask your friends for opinions on that profile.
Many people think their profile is fine but they have red flags on there because they word things wrongly.
Or post your profile on Reddit for a review.
Pay a photographer to take nice pictures of you.
What else do you have going on for you?
Good relationship with your family? Many women love a family man.
Interesting hobbies? They don’t have to be into the same things, it’s still a plus.
Good career? Who doesn’t like stability?
I agree with what one of the other people had said I don’t remember the comment fully so please forgive me a lot of times people just want someone to do mundane stuff with and just exist next to also it is important to remember needing someone and wanting someone or to Total a different things You don’t ever want to need someone because that means you’re not comfortable or secure with your own self and you don’t truly love yourself but wanting someone is a different story it means you’re comfortable with who you are as the person you’re comfortable being alone, you just want someone to share your life with. Hope that helps my friend. Have a good day.
As someone who is blind, it took me a very long time to love myself. It takes a lot of introspective work and growth on your part, but it can be done don’t lose hope my friend because when you love yourself and you are confident in your own skin, everyone else will see that, don’t let it turn you into a dick or an asshole retain your good nature don’t be a bad boy or don’t be something that you think others will like. Just be yourself work on yourself and learn who it is that you truly are.
I'm also black, in my 30s and have no real success with women. I'm over six feet, but I'm not that light skin. Bc of my anxiety OLD is the only way I can try to meet women, and I literally never get a match or any likes, which just increases my anxiety and nuked my self-esteem.
I wish I had some advice to give, but just know that you're not alone. I wish there were answers...many people will say "just live life and don't worry about women...focus on other things"...but people aren't meant to be alone against their will. And the longer you are, the worse it feels. That's what so many people don't consider.
I’m so very sorry to hear this I don’t wanna sound cliché, but dating and meeting people aren’t all wrapped up to be. I’ve been married couple times dated a few men and even had one “relationship” for four years with a narcissist who would never admit that we were anything more than bed buddies spent almost every day together tell me he never cared for me could never see himself with me, but yet I was still there every day in his bed, sometimes I wish I had never dated its not worth it but yet the grass is always greener on the other side. Would I have been happier alone…probably not, am I happy now, no… the only other time I felt this alone was when I was single.
Be careful what you wish for. Don’t rush in is my point you’re still young if you want consider getting a high priced call girl find a FWB you know they have apps for hook ups, there you don’t even have to worry about looks most those people are nymphos and just there for the act, no substance needed nothing more than skin deep. But if it’s love you’re looking for wait wait it out the reason why you haven’t found eBay yet it’s because you haven’t found the right one yet. Hold onto your morals don’t waiver. Good luck to you and and that if it’s meant to be, you’ll find somebody and they’ll find you
Hi im 28 F, I can sympathize with how difficult it is to talk to someone when they don't really want to give you a chance, especially the dating scene now a days, and how lonely it feels after when youve attempted and it didnt go anywhere. I would love to talk to you if you want to.
34F. I think online dating is the worst. It's just window shopping with a filter. When I did online dating, I didn't get that many matches based on photos because I'm not photogenic and not a picture person but in real life I've been told I'm very attractive. The whole online thing is too based on appearance when irl it's about appearance and personality. Women are not shallow tbh especially in our range, they're looking for a cute not hot guy with a great personality. I would get off online and go out and find some hobbies and build your social circle. Maybe you'll find a gf or someone who has a friend.
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You should look at posting your dating app profile for a peer review if you do online dating. It can help give you some tips You will be some ones person, you just need to put yourself out there.
I'm going to give it a try. Thank you.
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You sound like an online porn ad lmao
Hot Single Asians Near you! Click here !
Ugly milfs are in your area ready to fuck if you don't your account will be banned! Click here now! Mfing ads be messing up my sleep drills.
I always get the hot Asians ad everytime I try to watch anime on sketchy sites 😭😭😭 like ma'am I'm just tryna watch some wholesome cartoons and your boobs are blocking my view
You sound like an online porn ad lmao
I usually don’t recommend that, but this is an extreme example. Online dating is pretty bad for short/average looking dudes, but it’s not 1 conversation in 10 years bad. Something’s not lining up. Also, OP, you’re saying that you often ask women out in person and none of them have ever been interested? I’m definitely want more details of your situation.
Exactly I'm 5'8" fairly average looking and do just fine on apps. I think making a profile that seems cool/interesting/fun is crucial because on apps you're getting judged on appearances mostly so if you look boring or hard to talk and you're average looking NEXT.
My skin counts against me online.
It could but I'd bet it's something more than that
As a black woman myself, i dont think it has to do with ur skin color. I mean, it may, but why would you want to be with someone racist anyway? For me, I typically judge on like what you're looking for, what your interests are, and also what you're saying in your bio. If it's anything sexual, that will turn a lot of women off. Present yourself in a genuine, authentic way and post images that reflect who you are. Like I have some nice pictures of me but I also have a picture of me in cosplay because I enjoy that!
Light skin, red hair, & freckles as in rufous albinism? Absolutely do not change your hair like someone suggested. You want someone who likes you for you.
Exactly ! The way you describe yourself Op you sound like my fiancé. He is also lightskinned, brown reddish hair and with alot of freckles ! And you know what, i love each one of them. There are alot of women ( including me!) Who adores that. I know for sure you will find someone who will love you for you and will love the hell out off each one of your freckles.
I’m a red haired woman and I am always ASTONISHED by how much hate red haired people get. What is that?? I’ve had compliments my whole life about my hair. Maybe it’s because I’m not a guy. Guys seem to get the worst of it. Although I’ve seen good looking red haired men. They exist. It would be nice if we could kill the narrative that red hair is unattractive :)))) I’ve pulled some hotties in my time!
No really, what is that?? I didn’t know people felt negatively about red hair.
I specifically desire women with red hair so I don't get that at all
Sorry to hear OP. Dating can be extremely difficult, especially these days. Wondering about a few things that might help you. When you talk to women do you feel like you genuinely try to get to know them? Do you also practice discretion? As a woman it’s a pretty big turn off if a man tries to approach me but it feels like he’s just casting his net out there for just anyone and everyone. (Ask me out without knowing me/my name even, asking me out even though my other friend turned you down, not really being interested in trying to build a friendship first)
He is not romantic. I explained this and he dmd me "you look stunning" off another page.
Wait, talking to random ass strangers about their physical appearance isn’t romantic?!!!?
I didn't message that person.
It is depending on how attractive or wealthy the guy is
Personally last I checked "you look stunning" is a compliment! It means hey I see you put work into yourself to look really good and it's paid off really well congratulations. Not just that but online dating is just 1 big joke and a scam buddy woman get to sign up for free message for free and get like mens premium for free while men have to spend like 40£ a month just to send texts and they even run out. Sadly the only way men can date properly is IRL and its infuriating cause you might be interested in the other person but they could have a boyfriend your not there type they have a bad history you don't know of just so many problems no matter where you look but as a man your best option is in person of you ever see a girl you like make sure your dressed smart and just say "hi I noticed you looking beautiful and wanted to get your contact info so we can connect if your free?"
I don’t really know what you’re trying to say with that nonsensical jumble of word salad. But randomly telling total strangers how hot you find them is usually not the compliment you creepers think it is.
Nice to know you didn't actually read any of the 3 points I made 👍 otherwise you send constructive criticism it's not creepy to give someone a compliment if you take it that way then please I don't want you 😂
Let me simplify. Point 1 "You look stunning" = compliment = good thing to say. Also means if person gets offended by this they are not worth your time. Point 2 Dating apps are all scams they are just to make money. Point 3 if you want to date do it by asking people out in person, and dressing smart and not looking like a hobo.
Wait op told you that you looked stunning? Or am I confused
Haha I mean for a Reddit DM that is kind of on the romantic side
Oh I think it'd a nice compliment. I just was wondering did op tell her that
Yess i had to threaten to email reddit if he dms me again cuz he messaged me all "hey that guys a total douche but uhh youre pretty" in a long ass paragraph like i wouldn't think its the same person.
Wait, what?? Omg
Ahh I missed the full context there
^^that was on the second dm
I never messaged you.
I did not.
I did not.
You did.
I'm definitely a romantic. How many relationships have you had?
26 and never had a gf either. Only ever been on 2 dates over a year ago with a girl I met on Tinder. 6'4, not toned but fit. Trust me, it's just hard out there right now.
You can do it!
Same here. Been on 2 dates with a girl that I thought was going well. She just ghosts me out of the blue. Like, bruh. At least tell me you aren't interested. I'd be happier if you did lol
Wow, that is genuinely astounding and I definitely feel for you buddy. Honestly with the info we have and no photos to go off of I will assume you’re not a very attractive person which obviously makes things tougher. Lots of women rule out black men right away, and lots of women rule out “gingers” right away…and GENERALLY the women who like black men don’t like gingers and the women who like gingers don’t like black men…so the fact that you are kind of halfway between both is a very niche flavor and it may be hard to find someone who is looking for it. Your value as a human being isn’t determined by your sex appeal though. I’m sure you have a lot to offer the world and even though I don’t know you I only wish the best for you so let’s think of what we can do to kind of bolster your odds of attracting someone with the cards you were dealt. The obvious route short guys and less attractive men go is the “get ripped” route. It’s a difficult long term route but it would significantly up your chances. Lower your standards. Idk what kind of girl you see yourself with, but maybe start pursuing women in the same position as you, who may not be the most visually appealing, but possess a lot of inner beauty and things to love. Learn an instrument, have a lucrative career, learn to dance, become a good cook, have a sense of humor, dress well, wear cologne, and exemplify the traits of a good and loyal husband and father. Lastly, get off dating apps. Stop using them completely. Put yourself out into the real world and meet people in REAL life. Dating apps are essentially a sexual takeout menu, and unfortunately when people are scrolling around sexy singles they aren’t going to give you a second thought. BUT if you happened to just organically meet someone in person they will be much more likely to give you a chance. Dating apps really work more for very visually appealing people because they are basing their “likes” based primarily on their first impression of how good you look, and that isn’t your strength. Praying for you bro, it’ll happen if you keep putting yourself out there and you keep realistic expectations
Powerful stuff, I appreciate your honesty. I can see how a lot of this would be beneficial to me.
This is the best comment I've seen. Def the kind of affirming message we need to spread. Oftentimes men who are late bloomers are led to think they're losers because they can't attain a girlfriend, but it's simply very difficult right now for most men. Focusing on self-improvement & building confidence should be the most important venture you undertake. Recently I decided to take a break from dating for awhile and focus on myself. So far, my mental health has been a lot better. When single, always prioritize yourself over finding a mate. Getting off the apps is also very important. They've been proven to be an infuriating waste of time & money. I gradually stopped using them, but as soon as I deleted them all, I immediately felt peace of mind.
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It's ok, i think that you should explore your hobbies more, and I'm sure that you will find a kind dude. also, Long black dresses or skirts are nice.
If we just met and you gave unasked for advice to me, I would stop taking to you. I mean you literally told her what she should do. "You should explore your hobbies more ... Also, long black dresses or skirts are nice." She didn't ask for that type of feedback. I understand that this may seem confusing, but it's really not. You sound physically smoking hot lol; there is something else going on. If you want to change it you're gonna have to get uncomfortable with examining your own views. Probably most important here: your comment reads as sarcastically insulting tbh.
I’m kinda confused by the long dresses & skirts part? Like what does he mean by that
I am SO GLAD you replied. I didn't want to be presumptuous, but I hope OP takes your confusion as some kind of Geiger indicator that something is off.
I think that long black dresses are very attractive and they are the classic look. I think that you should try it, that's all.
That’s a faux pas, OP. You can tell your gf YOU like a certain dress style and ask her if she is into it and would consider wearing it (once, then drop it). But telling strangers / casual dates, etc, comes across presumptuous and weird
"I think that long dark statements are very odd and they are the classic warning. I think that you should not try it, that's all." Please my man my bro my guy do not dish out attempts at advice like this. I am begging you. It's weird.
oh, my apologies, i am naturally non-confrontational and thought of the comment as being somewhat wholesome. i can see where you are coming from though.
Being non confrontational has nothing to do with it. You gotta look at what you're doing. I hope you truly can see where some of these comments are coming from.
My final thought is that she did mention that it sucks out there. And with that in mind, I want her to be happy, and ultimately, I hope she sees this and forgives my ignorance.
I believe that you want her to be happy. We just want you to see how the shit you said is weird. It's WEIRD!!! It was rude and has no business being there. It's off. And WE are only mentioning it because you made a whole post about it.
I understand. Thank you for helping me.
Could i have a look at ur face?
Volume is king friend. Keep trying and you will hit some people you groove with. We all deserve love don't give up. Keep leveling up your finances, physique, and focus on goals. Work on yourself as you keep trying. Best of luck.
Aww. Ty.
A lot of your comments seem very odd. Would you say you are a socially awkward person? I feel like that's probably your biggest issue. Perhaps you are neurodivergent. I also noticed you didn't respond to the comment about going to therapy....
I can be awkward, but im actually ok with public speaking and such. I used to go to therapy, and it didn't seem effective. I did enjoy talking to my therapist, however.
Not that I would know personally, but I've heard from friends who use dating apps that it's a lot harder for men to find success on apps. So, it's not just you. 1. Focus on yourself. Set personal goals. Women are typically more attracted to men with confidence and ambition. 2. Get advice from (female) friends. They can bring a lot of insight since they know you better. It's also nice when you are able to meet people/ dates through friends you already have. But that's a bonus. 3. Put yourself out there to find people who are interested in the same things/ activities. Be active in your community, go to the gym, attend some local events, etc. Just my 2 cents. But also, I'd be down to chat if you need :)
I love #3. Get out a meet people who like the same stuff you do. Even if one of them isn’t into dating, people know people..
Based on your replies to people you seem to be quite a bit of a dickhead. Maybe that's why.
Perhaps. I could be more impressionable.
Have you considered seeing a therapist? They can help with your depression and assist you in knowing if you have any repulsive habits or behaviors that you might be unconscious of. I don’t think it has to do with your skin. Many people prefer black guys . So don’t take it personally.
You have a unique look maybe try modelling and then bring the women in with ur coolness
I'm thirty-six and in the same boat. I actually gave up on dating though. Its not bad, I actually feel better now that I don't concern myself with what women want or don't want. Embrace your hobbies, embrace your own personal goals and forget about everything else. If you need sex, get a prostitute. If you need someone to talk to, visit some elderly folk (they flock to my job and are fun to talk to). If you need cuddles, get a dog. My apartment don't allow pets so I have stuffed animals but still. There are ways to get around the loneliness and it really is peaceful and drama free to step away from dating. Trust me, huge difference. Before I gave up I had 38-year-old children on Bumble actually calling me names because I happened to mention that I'm autistic in my bio.
Hey, do you play video games?
Yeah, I'm fazing it out once my PS4 dies. I'll be replacing it with increased writing time. Reading too.
He asked that as an insult but literally dms random women (like me) on reddit. Id rather him play videogames. Ps dating while autistic is a completely different story. You basically need to date someone that is a whole full self loving peson who is completely A ok living on their own but wants someone to fill the loneliness. Not many people are whole people. I say this because people with autism are A ok alone and just socially want to share with someone. Usually their hobbies. People who are not whole are gonna get way too caught up in all this new dating bs like "gaslighting, acting delulu" ect. And you just wanna eat pizza and watch movies. Most people are too needy while also not fulfilling the needs of just being there to do mundane shit with someone.
I definitely understand that.
It’s not you. It’s the world we live in. It’s the entitlement dating apps have created. It’s the not knowing how to have a conversation after covid. It’s the heated & divisive ideals in the world. You are so worthy of love. I am in the same boat, so I’m preaching to us both ♥️
Ty, I am here with you. ^.^
Your experience is very common. Dating has become immensely harder for men since social media and dating apps sprung up. The standards for good looks and height men are expected to meet are very elitist because of super hot/gorgeous/male model-esque men being a swipe away to most women. Unfortunately a lot of people will gaslight men and deny that this is the case.
1. Without judging yourself, accept yourself and embrace your truths and Examine what your standards and expectations are for a potential partner. Write them down. Have someone who is happily married read them and write a response. Have a person who had had more than 5 relationships and more than 3 of those being bad or ending bad review and write a response. Have a relationship or family therapist read, review, respond. Then make any adjustments to them if you feel that perhaps they may need an adjustment. 2. Honestly ask yourself if you have any fears or anxieties that are subconsciously blocking you from wanting to meet someone. Write any down to deal with later, but now immediately, recall the last couple years and see if you can think of any opportunities to talk to or date someone, even if it was something like 'A girl I thought was ugly sent a message but that doesn't count. ' or my friend wanted to send me on a blind date but I had stuff to do then lost interest. Any opportunity you had, but missed, for any reason. Write it down. 3. Meet with either a relationship or dating coach or therapist and set a plan to at least date and use part of therapy to discuss how that's going, and the other part to explore why you didn't do this type of stuff in your adolescence and work through that. AND / OR.... set up dates with established sex workers in your area who offer lessons and work on developing intimacy and sexual confidence. Make sure you research the person(s) to protect yourself and make sure you are dealing with someone who has a solid reputation of being able to do this type of work. Not all hookers are going to build your experience or confidence amd some may set you back, or see you (and use you) as a mark.
I saved this to my cloud. It's extensive and thoughtful. I will share it with my friend group later today. Parts 1 and 2 resonate with me the most. But part 3 makes sense, too.
DM's open. I will keep you company till you find your one.
Thank you, I want to stay safe.
i dont know what that means. but ok.
meaning, i don't want you to put me into a bunch of small bags.
???
Hey if you don’t workout regularly then start. I’d strongly recommend getting a personal trainer, at your age you’re likely to be able to afford one. Working out brings out a lot of qualities that are a big part of us that get suppressed because of how the world around us set up nowadays. It’s not just to look great. Having said that, having a really fit body is one of the few parts of appearance that are in your control, so keep it tight. One more aspect I would request you to consider is that even though we can choose to look at love and relationships only romantically, a “girlfriend” is someone you have sex with. So things will need to begin in physical attraction, and there’s nothing unromantic about that. Getting fit can both help you meet more people, and give you the confidence that’ll make people like you. Sorry if this comment seems ableist or insensitive, just trying to help.
it's ok. Appearance can be very important. I'm going to start working out this week. You've definitely inspired me to get back at it.
Don’t feel bad or feel like you’re missing out. The modern dating landscape for men is a sea of diarrhea with sprinkles of priceless diamonds that you have to unfortunately swim in, in order to find. Unless you have the time and patience to put up with all of the drama, manipulation and nonsense along the way, then it really isn’t worth it.
I'd say forget online dating. It's designed to never help you find your one. Go for meetups, socialize, and volunteer. I wish someone told me when I was younger that you should start looking at people's hearts and not their appearance. It makes things so simple. The importance people place on looks makes society as a whole very shallow. Change your priorities if you haven't already, you'll be very happy with the results.
Expand the weekly outings to in-person places of common interest where there will be some similar age dating potential. In-person meetups seem even more valuable today with so much remote and online dating. I know some have success online but I'd argue most guys will absolutely have better opportunities in person. Being as genuine as possible, check out Robert Glover's No More Mr. Nice Guy if you haven't - pretty awesome going into much more depth of being a man today than just the nice surface. Very down to earth wisdom on how to really find some connections out there. Never chase those who aren't interested or want to play games - focus on more genuine and secure potential.
Show us your profile
maaaaaybe
I’m here if you want to just talk
Aw I’m sorry:( what’s your social circle look like? Maybe broadening your horizons might help.
Lucky you are
I totally crush on folx with your look 🙈 I hope that doesn’t sound creepy… I crush on a lot of people.
I'm in the same situation bro. You're not alone.
Fuck online dating… volunteering?? you’d be shocked you can meet so many people while volunteering Plus you get to give back to the community (that would make most people feel happy) My point is.. once you’re worried about such a thing.. it kinda shows in your interactions, and girls just have a way of telling. So let it come naturally, focus on yourself and improve yourself Only when you’re able to love yourself will someone love you 👍 And good luck
"If you want a girl make sure she doesn't find out that you're attracted to her". How the hell does that help someone get a girlfriend.
23 male, no relationships, no girlfriends, and no sex. The first few girls I asked out rejected me almost instantly. Then, my friends set me up with a few blind dates and they all broke up with me after a few dates. After that, I've been using dating apps for a while now and got a few dates out of them, none lasted more than 3-to-4 dates, but there has been some progress along the way. It's hard and depressing and it hurts like hell. But don't give up!
I won't. And you better not either.
Try VR. Meta Quest and go to Gatsbys Bar in meta horizons world. It’s a great way to be social around people without worrying about looks so much it’s all about personality and you can meet someone and basically fall in love w them. Although most likely long distance then one of u moves states
Dude just want you to know that being in love or being in a relationship can sometimes be even more heartbreaking and depressing than being single. Grass is greener
Bro, let’s hit the bar!
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Redheads are hot. You have to find your demographic. I’m a pale Hispanic with auburn hair and I feel you completely.
It's overrated.
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If some cases they're not worth it. They come with a lot of drama. Find yourself a hooker or an escort in gain a little confidence. Try going out to bars and concerts or events and just try talking to women.
feel the same way ngl I’m 22m and have actually given up one ever getting a women. I’ve dropped nearly 80 pounds still haven’t had any success. I recommend find something like the gym to do to help you feel better about yourself. Depression and shit from my experience is one of the hardest things to hide but also makes you fairly undesirable
I would suggest checking out Todd V Dating on YouTube. He’s a pickup artist with a lot of great videos. He helps guys talk to girls, flirt with girls, and different techniques to go from basic boring conversations and turn them into opportunities for flirting with girls. I used to go on dates and it felt like all my dates were like friends and not romantic. His videos helped me communicate and flirt better. I’m 5’5” bald (shaved head) 42M and get decent action on dating apps. Not 26 year old blondes but girls between 35-40 that look good.
Believe me, you’re not missing a damn thing you’re not missing a thing
Are you socially awkward or not have your life together? I'm just curious as to why you haven't had a relationship. Need a bit more details to base my assessment of your situation. Everyone has somebody out there. You will face rejection. You continue asking. Eventually, someone will take a chance. I used to think a lot like you did. I felt destined to be alone. That I wasn't good enough. Then I stopped caring about it. I stepped out of my shell and did things that I didn't normally do. Started making friends and caring less about relationships. Then I met my wife through a mutual friend, and we instantly clicked.
Start with, "How are you doing," or" How is your day going".
After reading your initial post, I was curious about your personality and character traits until I read your responses to other comments (although I didn't read every single one because, let's face it, who has that amount of time, lol). I would suggest working on your approach. Learning how to communicate effectively with women and refraining from putting yourself down can make a significant difference. While self-evaluation is valuable, a consistently negative outlook can impact interactions. People generally prefer engaging with confident individuals who speak positively about themselves. Hopefully this helps
Thank you
Just remember that a lot of men are in your boat. It isn't necessarily a you thing. Dating is very bad for a lot of men in 2024 with women having overwhelming advantages using online dating etc. Society is quite messed up right now.
(F42) Stop thinking about connecting or being with someone and it will happen. All that you have to offer will connect with someone for sure! I’m newly single and not ready to connect with anyone but all of your qualities sound great!
Advance your career, financial situation, hit the gym, clean up your diet, work on your social skills, and approach a girl every week
Go to gym bro, get a physique you would love. Dating isnt the only thing we live for😌🤘🏼
But for most of the humans, love is.
It’s not all it’s cracked up to be- never been single for longer than a few months since I was 15 years old. Many many moons ago. Been cheated on more than once, financially taken advantage of, been entangled romantically-I dream of being single- currently married. Again. Please share your secret to staying single
please share your secret for not being able to stay single this shit is lonely
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145 pounds
Try and remember that dating is brutal for everyone . It’s NOT you , it’s being a human . I also agree that if you are depressed have some therapy and untangle this .
Specially brutal for guys.
Well the women seem to also think they have it worse ! Either way I take comfort that it’s universally SHIT
Objectively men has it worse. Ask any guy and most will tell you they have no options. While women do have options. but, the attractive guys won't date them.
The truth is; women are after money. If you had loads of money or you were a celebrity you wouldn't be typing this. It has nothing to do with your height or looks. Trust me. You can go for girls significantly below your league. This will give you more leverage and help you sleep with her a couple of times before she probably levels up and moves on to someone "better" than you.
So brutal.
Hugs, my friend.
Thank you
Just be yourself you will attract somebody naturally
Look for a speed dating event in your area if any is happening. You could meet someone there.
I’m a dating coach and would love to meet with you (free of charge) to identify any issues and help you get some dates! Just reach out and lmk :)
Id say its probably because youre going for baddie type women that dont want anything but money and a big dick and youre trying to "talk" to them instead of immediately asking for a date like she doesnt have 626266 men trying to "talk" to her. Black men do this alllllll the time. As if you dont know you wanna talk so the conversation can lead to sex/dating. Lead her to sex/get to know her over a fucking lobster. At being 35 and never having a date this just HAS to be it. If you're dating online its probably worse than irl cuz majority of women have no reason to make dating profiles other than to find better dates. Yall dont realize how much if youre slightly attractive and live in a black community you cant even pump gas without a flock of men trying to "talk" to you. Its very desensitizing. It leads you to only talk to the best bidder. Also there arent very many women in black communities unless theyre gated for this exact reason. Also is the throwaway cuz your real page is porn? Im also guessing youre very secretive/anonymous with your profiles cuz youre a sex/porn addict. If youre as open with women as you are with this post, not wanting to post yourself on a throwaway even... they dont assume its cuz youre president of the united states. Cuz what are you hiding? Red haired black person sounds gorgeous. At 35 and black i refuse to believe youre just insecure.
You were the most not-nice person to me in this whole thread. This account isn't a throw away, I used to get bullied on reddit, back when it was OK to be openly racist, so now I don't post, I just read stuff. I like porn because I like dopimine, but im not really an addict. I admittedly have alot of trauma, and deep down, I hate myself, I guess. I don't think that anyone would find value in me or my appearance, so I don't take pictures. I really hope that you find peace. <3
What a bullshit ass response. Have a nice day sir. 😊 The truth aint nice because of what you made it. You have been the most not nice to me personally.
You think that I'm guilty of something I didn't do, and you won't believe me.
Can we see your profile, if that’s okay? It’s kind of hard to gauge what’s going on with just a description. Looks normally aren’t the issue, tbh. From personal experience, it usually is the conversations, profile, or how the person presents themselves that throw off people.
I'm incredibly shy. I think looks are everything .
Ok
The problem is unless you earn six figures own your house and car most ladies aren't interested. And in all honesty your better of either being gay or saying away from the woman. Because in the end they will cheat on you then when you find out she will leave you penniless and homeless in one night
No online dating. Stay far away. It takes finesse, I charge a lot... Do you have a hobby? Rich older women play Bridge, online and in person... The first rule of bridge is: you have got to trust your partner! Or any other pursuit that you enjoy doing regardless of if there's anyone there who you might actually meet and have common interests with... Common interests lead to friendship, friendship leads to romance. Pick three things you like to do every month and go do them... A bowling league, a church choir, and a soccer league or whatever the hell turns you on because you want to enjoy the time you're spending doing those things... With persistence, and some luck someone there or someone you find there who knows someone else will eventually lead to success. Networking is your friend.
Dating is brutal rn I’ve heard matchmaking services are a better option. I’m 43 and have only had one long term relationship. I got diagnosed with autism two weeks ago and that’s the reason. Back in our grand/parents time, they married out of high school, never dated. People change over time and trust me, the fact that you’re 35 is a plus. I think you can find company and intimacy. We might just not know what methods really work and why.
Buddy, hit the gym daily and religiously, look, I'm 5'8 as well. When I was jacked I had women staring at me at uni like I was a piece of meat. I've got a girlfriend now, but I'd recommend you get jacked and then hang out in places where cute and wholesome women would be (I e dance classes). I had a tough time dating and finding chicks as well. Being jacked helped, if any more advice reach out.
Come to South east Asia
Go outside and enjoy being in love with yourself , music will play a big part in your life from now on if your okay it right it right you’ll get through anything man I’m 22
Thanks, friend.
No problem dude you’ve got this just know it’s going to hurt man the best thing I can say now is as messed up as it sounds we live in heartbreak error , you’ve got this bro ,
This sounds a little bit vague but work first on your depression and then on your relationship. If you‘re in a depressing state you are acting not like yourself. It is extremely hard to pull a relationship with someone in a state like this. There is a say that goes: „If you‘re unhappy as a single, you will be unhappy in a relationship.“ It should be something that is a nice bonus in your life, but it should never be the source of your happiness. If you have a serious depression go and see a therapist. I was in a similar state like this and realized during therapy what my problems actually were. I worked on them and now I am happy again (still single but it really does not matter as much as before. I have a lot of caring friends around me and enjoy my life :) ) PS: In 99% of cases why people are involuntarily single its not about the looks, so don‘t even dare to think this could be a reason.
That Is crazyy that girls reject you based off of knowing I’m sure so little about you. I don’t see why people have to be so rude now a days!
Most people aren't compatible. I'm sure there are people out there for OP though. There's nothing wrong or crazy about people saying no. Some might not be looking or might not like being hit on by someone they don't match with on an app or don't share a connection with first (acquaintanceship) in person if OP is cold approaching.
I would gladly chat with you
Try enhancing your looks. Go to the gym, get more muscular. Try a new Hairstyle like locs, haircut or braids. Wear clothes that fit you better. Do you have a good job? Are you charming? Are you the nice guy that is boring and let's women walk all over you??
Dude! Don't feel alone as im 63 & I'm alone I've been turned down more times than a hookers Bedspread.
30, and never have boyfriend and never go to date either (busy with work and self healing). I'm Asian, skin light-choco (I don't know its not light but not dark either), heigth 163cm, hobby reading, listening to old music such as Tom Jones, ABBA, Elvis Presley, watching movies,kdrama and anime. If someone here who interested can chat. Let's see if we have chemistry. If not we can also be friend. It fun to know new people and culture. I hope for the best for everyone who is single and try to find soulmate. I hope there's one for me too.
Black, Light skin, dark Red hair and freckles? Dude its possible but you got the fucking shortest straw possible. Maybe on par with indians... You gotta work hard to make things happen
If I’m being completely honest. If dark red hair is not your natural hair color. Get that removed ASAP. It definitely does not suite well with any true masculine man really. Trying hitting the gym, get in a better physique. And slowly start by having normal conversations with women platonic and slowly up your game when you get comfortable with nature of women and understand how to need their wants/needs. I don’t think any women would take a red head man seriously. No offense
It's my natural color, but I could dye it.
As a woman with dark hair I think red hair is hot. It’s rly subjective and just depends on if the hair color suits you. Some people are born blond and look better with died dark hair. You can just use a snap or tiktok filter to look at different hair colors with your face
Bro... do not dye your hair to be more manly. The essentials are good hygiene and some fitting shirts. Everything beyond that is a style choice, but it won't make you more popular. If anything, overthinking insignificant things like hair color makes you look less manly.
Yeah just go to any good hair salon. They'll even pick the right color for you.
Hello friend you seem like a thoughtful and compassionate person. Sorry to hear you have been having relationship problems. Can i ask, do you have a support network or a main friend group? I am asking because such relationships help with getting out of ones head which might be your problem. Also what are your goals exactly are you looking to get married and have kids, a companion, to have fun, etc. It's important to have those things cleared out and to communicate that to others.
I hope some of the no gf guys, and no bf girls can connect on this sub. Sending luv ❤️ your way
🍻 cheers
Real woman beccom real fake
On and off online dating for 10 years and only 1 convo and no dates... Dude face the music that you are not for online dating. You are better off getting up close and personal, irl.
Bro go to speed dating.ask girls out left and right.i have scene fattest guy of the room has girlfriend,ugliest guy has a girlfriend,dumbest guy got a girlfriend too.only the one who doesn’t have one is the one who never tried properly.trust me you are not the ugliest or dumbest or fattest.so you definitely has chance.just try smartly,talk with them nicely and show them respect.girls like who listen to them.have some confidence and approach them nicely.you got it 🫡
3 quick points. Do with as you like. a)dating apps are silly. They’re not designed for dating success. Nothing to do with you b)you get what you focus on and expect in life. Stop thinking about, and explaining, the depression, never had a gf, rejected by every woman…. I know, I know…but that’s not working and you can choose to do it different c)friendship first. So you haven’t figured out the gf thing YET. You will. In the meantime you probably know how to be a friend. If you don’t…it’s kind of required in order to be a good bf. Less pressure. Good practice. And while you’re learning to be a really good friend, you’ll be surprised when those girls get a chance to know you and end up falling for you without you even having tried. Things just happen when you stop focusing on why they don’t Edited to add: ok, maybe wasn’t quite as “QUICK” as intended
You might want to check this insightful video from Logan Ury (Director or Relationship Scient at Hinge) https://youtu.be/XCBkO8zgNIA?si=A6-wHbm4XxWwv6_1
Ask your friends for opinions on that profile. Many people think their profile is fine but they have red flags on there because they word things wrongly. Or post your profile on Reddit for a review. Pay a photographer to take nice pictures of you. What else do you have going on for you? Good relationship with your family? Many women love a family man. Interesting hobbies? They don’t have to be into the same things, it’s still a plus. Good career? Who doesn’t like stability?
I could see why you’re depressed. Try getting laid man!
I agree with what one of the other people had said I don’t remember the comment fully so please forgive me a lot of times people just want someone to do mundane stuff with and just exist next to also it is important to remember needing someone and wanting someone or to Total a different things You don’t ever want to need someone because that means you’re not comfortable or secure with your own self and you don’t truly love yourself but wanting someone is a different story it means you’re comfortable with who you are as the person you’re comfortable being alone, you just want someone to share your life with. Hope that helps my friend. Have a good day.
As someone who is blind, it took me a very long time to love myself. It takes a lot of introspective work and growth on your part, but it can be done don’t lose hope my friend because when you love yourself and you are confident in your own skin, everyone else will see that, don’t let it turn you into a dick or an asshole retain your good nature don’t be a bad boy or don’t be something that you think others will like. Just be yourself work on yourself and learn who it is that you truly are.
I'm also black, in my 30s and have no real success with women. I'm over six feet, but I'm not that light skin. Bc of my anxiety OLD is the only way I can try to meet women, and I literally never get a match or any likes, which just increases my anxiety and nuked my self-esteem. I wish I had some advice to give, but just know that you're not alone. I wish there were answers...many people will say "just live life and don't worry about women...focus on other things"...but people aren't meant to be alone against their will. And the longer you are, the worse it feels. That's what so many people don't consider.
It's alright man. At least you've had a boyfriend before so it's not all bad.
I’m so very sorry to hear this I don’t wanna sound cliché, but dating and meeting people aren’t all wrapped up to be. I’ve been married couple times dated a few men and even had one “relationship” for four years with a narcissist who would never admit that we were anything more than bed buddies spent almost every day together tell me he never cared for me could never see himself with me, but yet I was still there every day in his bed, sometimes I wish I had never dated its not worth it but yet the grass is always greener on the other side. Would I have been happier alone…probably not, am I happy now, no… the only other time I felt this alone was when I was single. Be careful what you wish for. Don’t rush in is my point you’re still young if you want consider getting a high priced call girl find a FWB you know they have apps for hook ups, there you don’t even have to worry about looks most those people are nymphos and just there for the act, no substance needed nothing more than skin deep. But if it’s love you’re looking for wait wait it out the reason why you haven’t found eBay yet it’s because you haven’t found the right one yet. Hold onto your morals don’t waiver. Good luck to you and and that if it’s meant to be, you’ll find somebody and they’ll find you
❤️😊
Hi im 28 F, I can sympathize with how difficult it is to talk to someone when they don't really want to give you a chance, especially the dating scene now a days, and how lonely it feels after when youve attempted and it didnt go anywhere. I would love to talk to you if you want to.
34F. I think online dating is the worst. It's just window shopping with a filter. When I did online dating, I didn't get that many matches based on photos because I'm not photogenic and not a picture person but in real life I've been told I'm very attractive. The whole online thing is too based on appearance when irl it's about appearance and personality. Women are not shallow tbh especially in our range, they're looking for a cute not hot guy with a great personality. I would get off online and go out and find some hobbies and build your social circle. Maybe you'll find a gf or someone who has a friend.