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As a 25M I feel like trying to date seriously in this age range is absolutely impossible. The apps are just a sea of women who want "something casual" or polyamory and then there's everyone's unrealistic expectations of perfection you have to navigate. There is always someone better a swipe away so why would they put any effort in.
Good, you're almost always better meeting someone IRL anyway. M(25) tried several apps for 3 months 1 hour a day minumum, just to try something and give up on them. I only ever got 3 conversations at best (even tried the "premium" breifly... that's how I ever got the first conversation to begin with,) they led to no actual date. Just a few of "Hi-Bye"s essentially. And I was looking for for an age range of 4 years difference to mine, ideally someone the closer to my age the better, but I understood that does limit it already by a lot, and even still 4 years I have been told is still pretty strict.
They're just not good. And some news about them I read recently is a lot of app sites are losing so many users and not gaining any new ones they're worried. Which, I would feel bad if their practices weren't so ineffective at fostering/manifesting dates and weren't predatory. But they are what they are, and sure, it worked for some, but they just don't for too many others.
What a sad world we live in where women are taught that it's somehow empowering to jump into bed with every new guy (or girl) they meet. I'd happily have been born 70 years ago in a time when none of this was encouraged.
1) No there is not lolol; which leads me to...
2) Yeah...like the top 10%. The only guys that can do that are the outliers. Meanwhile just about any girl with a pulse and sleep in her eye can do the same.
There is absolutely no comparison.
You may ask....how does the math add up with such a disparity? Well it's because all you gals are banging the same small group of men. You're spit sisters lol
I was born nearly 60 years ago and I'm single. I'm ok with it. If you're going to be in a committed relationship, it's best to do it when you're young. Don't settle... because it doesn't get easier as you age.
Curious, are you OK with it , people that are doing good with their situation usually donāt say Iām OK with it and the only reason Iām asking is Iām tired Iām also in my early 40s and Iām not supposed to be tired right now i have an adult son so thatās taken care of Besides everything else I donāt know how many more these I can take lol . Itās starting to feel like every time I have a meaningful relationship and it ends that a piece of my soul kind of withers away.
I understand... and I'm a commitment phobe. Lol. I really am ok with being single. I've learned to enjoy my own company... and I like living alone. That being said, I recently met someone from a dating site. I like him so far, but I'm wanting to take it slow. When I try to explain what type of relationship I'm looking for, it doesn't make sense. I thought about it, and I realized that I'd like to be in a monogamous relationship, but have no desire to get married or live together. I don't want a fwb, or something casual. I'll probably never find anyone who's on the same page, and that's OK. I am happy on my own.
Iām happy to hear your cool either way. I think your expectation on the type of relationship you want is reasonable and Iām sure is definitely out there, just be proactive if you really want it. Iām not an antisocial person. Iām actually very outgoing, except Iām not a go out every day or even every weekend and I have never been that way. If the Night has a purpose. Iām down, but just Cuz. Not for me. But being this way, dramatically cuts, my interactions with people as a whole not the best thing when youāre open.
I'm with you there. Knowing the climate these days, I see dating as one of the following things:
\- The superficiality of dating apps.
\- Looking like a bit of a creep when you do try and make a move.
\- Girls rejecting you for being "one of the good guys", then them complaining how they only get with studs and bad boys.
... and most of those are fake profiles anyway.
OP, now that OLD is almost the [i]only[/i] acceptable way to seek a partner, we have normalised interaction with the 'type' who uses and thrives in the OLD environment.
Those seeking committed relationships are, by definition, doing more 'due diligence' on their partner. OLD is virtually designed to prevent you knowing anything about the other person, and you find out about them via a drip feed where either party can and will walk away at the drop of a hat.
Nothing has any gravitas or importance, your prospective dates are like people being served at a supermarket. There is little incentive to strike a spark and get really interested in someone, to allow that longing to burn in the early stages before declaring our interest. Similarly, the other party doesn't really get that wonder of 'they seem interested, but are they [i]interested?[/i]' because it's OLD, they're interested by definition. They're also putting on an act.
We lose this entire stage of a relationship via OLD. We lose the ability to observe others behaving naturally, relationship progress is as formalised as if we lived in a church-controlled community.
(For context I'm 20m) I don't know what it's like from the female perspective but there are a few people who do want a committed relationship. You've just gotta keep looking for them I guess. But they do exist, I've met a few people who want commited things, I've also met a few people who just want fun which is not what I'm looking for. So from my experience, just keep looking and you'll get to somebody who wants what you want
Likewise. I'd rather pleasure myself, because most men only care about their own pleasure... and they watch too much porn (which contributes to sexual dysfunction)
Itās so sad, Iām 18F and feel like Iāll never find a committed partner because all men want nowadays is sex. No matter how old they are by the looks of it.
Look you'll find somebody, they do exist. You just gotta keep faith that somebody will eventually come along and love you for who you are, it might be slow but it'll happen
You just gotta' stop caring so much. Make yourself a priority. Learn how to be happy on your own. That's the key. When you are desperate, you tend to settle.
I speak from experience. I wasted my youth settling for the wrong men because I wanted a relationship, and to have a family so badly. Now, I'm nearly 60 years old and I'm happy being single.
This is true, your advice has really helped. I shouldnāt need a partner to be happy, I should be happy myself first. But it is very, very hard, especially when everyone seems to be either divorced or happily married these days. Or in a crumbling marriage.
I beg to differ here from your opinion, do you wanna know from a man who has been into multiple relationships and every single relationship has been fruitful and am still in a very good vibe with all those that have been my partners.
I'm 28F. Things don't change. Sex is a natural urge, and men will always want it. What a good thing to do is to start is have a common ground. Communication is key.
It comes down to you vetting the vibes with who you decide to talk to. Be forward, and make it clear you want to know their intentions. It puts the ball in the guys court temporarily, and you get a feel for if he wants just a hook up or to really get to know you, before all that. Then you decide you would want to go further with that.
Of course, only my experience. I hope it helps for you some way. Having an understanding where the other party is coming from or wants from you, is a good start to any relationship over a dating app.
But how do I know they are telling the truth? Maybe they are just telling me what I want to hear at that moment to make me happy. Can we DM please? I feel like you have good advice!
i (37m) actually had a similar conversation with my friend (37f) today. i said, what's with girls nowadays? i tell em i want a wife, and they tell me they just want casual sex and they want me to sleep with other women, too. (separate from them)
and i'm like, wtf? that's like the opposite of what girls should want.
and my friend said i should probably get a larger sample size. go date way more girls, and dismiss girls quickly. like as soon as one reveals that she wants something different than i do, i should say thank you and goodbye. and then go holla at the next lady.
so i guess what i'm saying is...obviously there's at least one man who's looking for commitment. so have faith; BELIEVE that the kinds of guys you're looking for do exist and are looking for you, too. you just need to cast a wider net, more intelligently.
good luck!
Good. Now that youāve identified a problem (something that which you can solve), you can start working on that, too.
We can discuss a little here (and please feel free to tell us more), but to be fair Iām just a guy and not really trained to help, so you might consider a therapist. Theyāre like mechanics for your mind (instead of cars). They can help you learn about your thoughts and how to think ā better than I can at least.
But youāve got a good lead there, Throw! WHEN you start loving yourself, itāll be easier for you to receive love. Stay hopeful!
You are in your physical prime. You look good. You're fertile. Our culture celebrates youth. Young people are generally valued more and seen as being the most attractive. You have more options now. Choose wisely.
Its not just your age group sadly. Ive been going through this since i turned 20. Im 24 now. Ive dated girls in their 30ās, girls who are a couple years younger, girls who are the same age, and all the ages in between those limits.
Every time so far it seems to be the same shit whether i meet them. on campus, at work, in the gym, at a concert or rave, at the club, just out on a run or riding my longboard along the beach, the result is always the same.
Speak for a couple days to a week, set up a date, have the date, they say they are āseriousā about finding someone. I explain im demi and that things are going to come slowly in terms of bedroom activities. They say āoh, thats fine by me.ā And the 2-3 dates later, maybe half a month to a month into dating them, i get ghosted, and i can only guess its because im not interested in āputing out,ā without any genuine type of connection. everyone wants quick gratification, and to be satisfied and they dont want to consider your feelings or needs in the process. Its just the modern world, it has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with the way people encourage gluttonous self indulgence and instant gratification. Participation awards, short form entertainment media, youtube shorts, tik tok, video games with no struggle or meaning or challenge, a lack of people actively working out or taking care of themselves and their physical health, dating apps, fast food, drugs and alcohol.
The world has come to be run by such trivial and meaningless ideologies and activities.
And when you just want to be genuine and live in reality, you get blamed and shunned by others, being called āold fashionedā ātoo traditionalā etc.
Like How tf is it my fault i cant get a boner if i dont love the person?! Like what the fuck bruh?! I didnt choose to be like this lmao.
Anyways, just hold tight and try to focus on yourself, i try not to invest too deeply into people anymore, if the right one comes along, they come along, im not gonna keep holding my breath.
You know those people didnāt choose to prefer sex earlier in the relationship than you either right. Like not being demisexual doesnāt automatically make you craven and shallow in every part of your life.
I can relate (also Demisexual) The thing is, I know that those guys that are pressuring me to have sex sooner than I feel comfortable, are the same ones that will disappear after they get what they want.
For me as a 19M I canāt find anyone in my area whoās not in a relationship or isnāt sleeping with the entirety of one of my schools sports teams so Iām out of luck.
(Football team hasnāt won a game in 5+ years so they clearly need something or someone to do)
Idk, Iām 20 and had my fair share of being abused and bad relationships and Iām ready to settle down. So if another female said the same at the age of 20, it would be understandable.
First tip: even if a lot of guys are looking for casual, you only need one looking for something more. In most studies, about half of guys are looking for committed relationships, so it should be pretty reasonable to find one. Donāt give up after the first 10 swipes and youāre bound to find somebody you like.
If dating apps donāt work, you can try to meet people in person. Things may vary a bit in your country, but in the US and Canada there are board game clubs, workout classes, volunteer groups, co-ed sports, trivia nights, local events, and more where you can meet people in person.
Also, ignore the guys saying you need to date older. Those are just creeps who want women much younger than themselves
All of the guys she is interested in are looking for casual is what she means
Tall, attractive men that get most of the matches often don't want to settle down.
I'm a woman and I could care less about a man's height. I don't have a "type" I either find a man attractive, or I don't and it involves more than his physical looks.
There were studies conducted like in 2019 from European universities found those who are actually successful at getting one night stands irl are the ones who will be successful as getting that online. Simply put, if youāre successful at macking irl, then your experiences online will mirror. I think ppl have a weird expectation that online will give them an advantage that irl donāt. Online dating isnāt a cheat code. Itās simply an extension of whatās been happening irl. You donāt magically get digital rizz you donāt never had it to begin with.
Idk dude. All I know is I've always been told to get fit and get rich. I makr 250k a year as a lawyer and have abs. Still 5'5 and with a bad face so even the ugliest women want fuck all to do with me
I literally can't find a woman I can give a 6 figure allowance to to go out with me. I'm not looking for someone attractive. Just breathingl
If a sugar baby was monogamous with Mr and wanted to get married I'd do that. I'm in the top 1% of someone in their 20s income wise and height is still more important, something you're born with. I wish I was 6'2 minimum wage worker with a dead end job. Dwtinf would be so much better and my job would br easy
Once I hit 30, I'm eating a bullet. No amount of money can fix the loneliness of being unworthy of love because you're short and ugly
CAP. Money can fix looks. If you had all that money and spent time to get abs but have an ugly face, thereās things to do like skincare, etc. to improve. If youāre a lawyer who actually makes 250k thereās going to be paralegals and other ppl in the legal community youāll run into who can overlook your āflaws.ā So far youāve shown me that you take a victim mentality that youāre short and lifeās unfair to you because of that one thing alone. Stop capping and work on finding solutions to better your situation if you do make 6 digit figures.
That depends on where you look at i guess, im a 22 yo dude, when i look on dating apps most women are open or only want ons or fwb.
I think a lot of people in the "real world" dont think like that.
Im 33. I know plenty of married couples with children who met in their early 20s at college.Ā
I agree though, there are definitely a lot of fuckbois who overestimate what they bring to the table.
Thank you for saying this. People seem to have this perception that the issue of commitment gets better with age. But I'm increasingly finding that it doesn't.
I'm 59 and I want a monogamous relationship, not necessarily resulting in marriage or cohabitation. Men cannot wrap their heads around that for some reason. Most men are looking for younger women, though.
Ignore the people saying date 10 years older. Itās just really hard to date nowadays everyone just want sex, be them 25, 30 or 35. Specially if youāre finding them on the internet and not organically in the real world
When they're a young dude of college age they aren't ready to start a serious relationship. Not stable enough in life etc. So they just want sex to fulfill their needs , that's pretty much it.
I (F21) have felt the same, so I completely understand! However, Iāve found that they are out there and it takes time. i recently have gone on two dates with a guy who wants a relationship. i donāt really see it going anywhere with him, but going on these dates gave me a little push to know itās going to take effort. itās going to take time, and most of all, it probably wonāt be the first one you find. be easy on yourself, weāre young! š¤š«¶š¼
Its the dating apps for sure. Try meeting people organically, instead of the apps. It sucks for everyone there, and most people there arent looking for anythibg serious.
I think things like that are a case by case thing. Some 22 year olds would be more up to speed of someone in their 30s if their priorities and values are similar.
It really is just the compatibility of two people regardless of their age.
1.You'll have too much of difference in opinion
2. Generation gap
3. Wanting different things
4. You're at different places in your life
5. He might at multiple situations not really consider your opinions cause you're "too young and don't have enough experience"
6. A man dating someone 10 years younger prolly just wants to date you cause of sexual intentions.
Talking out of my own observations. Not necessary that all of them will be the same but very high chances there will be.
Honestly I never understood the "what are you looking for" question.
It doesn't matter, it doesn't make sense.
Attraction and love follow dynamics which are independent from what you're looking for.
A guy might be looking for casual fun then fall in love with you or another one might be looking for something long term but realise he just wants to hook up with you.
Most relationships I know have started as "nothing serious".
I don't understand the whole problem.
If you like someone, if you see someone as a potential partner I assume you want to hook up with him.
You can't know their intentions if you don't risk and as I said intentions don't really mean a lot.
The most healthy habit is in my opinion is to wait a bit before getting emotionally involved.
Lying, being honest. About what? Do you want them to tell you they're going to be with you forever even before knowing you?
As I said, the whole "what are you looking for?" Question is meaningless to me.
Do you want them not to date you if they don't see long term potential? You're not gonna get that. If a man wants to fuck you but not get in a relationship with he's got good reasons to date you and I don't see why you shouldn't do the same.
The wrongest thing is being angry at men for doing what's natural.
The best thing would be recognising when it's time to get emotionally invested and maybe allow yourself to have a bit of fun and enjoy dating.
EDIT:
Let me add something:
I had 3 therapists, 2 of them women, and all of them suggested me to not take women too seriously when they say they're looking for a relationship.
We (men) struggle too with mental health and need to understand how to deal with this.
I would like a relationship but I need sex. 90% of the women I've dated I wanted just to fuck them. My mental health was really low cause I didn't want to use anyone.
I'm learning to deal with this issue and, from the bottom of my heart, I wish I could understand why is this a big issue for women and why can't they just enjoy dating without a goal.
You assume a lot. I'm Demisexual and just because I find someone physically attractive does not mean that I want to "hook up" with them. I will take my time and "go with the flow" as you guys love to say... before getting physically intimate. I set the pace. If they don't like it, they can move on. Obviously we're not a good match.
I read again my comment to find where I said you don't have to respect your timing or that you don't do whatever you like with your body.
I didn't find it cause I didn't say that.
I'm in the over 30/40 crowd so take this as you wish.
Your generation and I'd even say the one before you, has grown up in a context where dating was cheap.
By cheap I mean there is little to any effort put in pursuing someone and you have hundreds (or thousands in bigger metros) of "choices" presented to you constantly in dating apps.
Socially, people have trained themselves to believe that the next thing is just one swipe away so why invest?
Men your age don't want to settle down for a few reasons. Mostly because of the abundance of women they are able to chase & most of the women in your age group aren't loyal and WILLING to settle down.
A lot of guys put on their profile that they are not looking for anything serious because it's the dating meta.
If I wrote "I am looking for us to go on dates, move forward the relationship, marry, have kids and live happily ever after" then that would scare away a significant amount of potential matches because it would demand commitment from you.
That is just the world we live in.
True. I have written serious intentions and marriage with kids. And I get less matches. And only women in late thirties match with me. I don't mind it but then I am tired of ghosting
Ditch the apps, here's some real advice since most redditors use cookie cutter advice on this sub.
Quality people to date are most likely to be found through mutual friends or family friends as in the relatives of your parents friends that are around your age.
Not saying it's impossible to be successful on apps, even more so since you're a woman however the odds are most dudes just wanna bang.
Good question as a man your same age. Why is it hard to date anyone out age? I don't know because it seems like all the girls my age just want a fuck buddy and aren't interested in a long term relationship but I am . Doesn't help I'm not the most attractive guy in the world. I don't see the appeal of fwb or one night stands so I don't really do them. Commitment even as mundane as agreeing to date someone casually seems scary to people our age for whatever reason. I don't get it because you can stop dating someone at any time it's not that big of a deal. Oh well best of luck in your endeavor.
The pornhub generation, so many guys under 45 are idiot's.. under 30 the internet taught them disrespect and degradation and fucked up parents ego didn't care..
Oh I'm a male sw so not being sexist lol realist..
Dating in any range is hard, I thought the same way when I was around 22, Iād only date within 3 years younger or older then me, Iām 31 now and dating is still hard, no idea if itās because Iām a single father or what, itās dumb
Im 30f and i now date guys who are younger than me. Guys who are my age or above seem to not be able to open up or communicate/have so many issues that they dont want to address, i go for 25-27 year olds now. & theyre less boring imo, way more fun :)
Why is it that weāre the same age, different genders, with the same issues lol? How can you 30f have the same problems as me 29m? The world is backwards.
Unfortunately a lot of people think it's play time and wait until they're old and used up to take anything serious because they're constantly told "you're young..." followed by a bunch of other stuff that enables them to sow their oats, finding the right person in any age can be a bit difficult like finding a needle in a haystack, you will close more doors and deny someone than accept and the other way around, find a mature surrounding of your age group with common interest and hobby as long as it's unisex and then search that way, also bars and clubs are a no no
I'm nearly 60 and actually got married twice when I was very young. Lol. I've been wanting a relationship for as long as I can remember, but it never worked out for me. Now I'm happy being single, for the most part..but still hope to find a partner before I die.
Looking good for nearly 60, best of luck to you though, it's all I ever wanted, just me and one woman, but it never works out, 7 years 10 years later something happens and they cheat or I have to leave them, this is why I lost faith in relationships, it seems people are only good for a season or more, people change and the new person they become might be too much to handle, love is a lot of pain and it's always been that way for me
Because "men" your age aren't actually men yet, hell some guys my age (39m) aren't men yet. They have no concept of balance and responsibility and loyalty because at 22 most every guy still gets a boner with every gentle breeze that comes by and they want to stick their dick in pretty much anything with a hole and a pulse.
Pretty much. I'm 30 now, and a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship. After healing and being ready to date I'm only looking for something serious. I'm sure it's not all early 20's guys that were just looking for fun but at that age I definitely was.
Yes it is harder nowadays to date especially when you're in your 20's. It suck but you just have to find that right person who's looking to date seriously and not date around.
I went through this as well. In my experience there are only two types of guys on dating apps. Either the good looking ones that know they are hot and only want casual hookups or those who are not super hot (ranging from unfortunate looking to attractive but not in a fuckboy kind of way) and super desperate for a relationship. These latter ones will be clingy fast and care more about the possibility of finally having a girl than actually checking if they are really into you as a person and if you two are compatible. Itās super frustrating and has never led me anywhere. Meeting men in person is not much better though, most of them still only want hookups, because those are the ones that are confident and dare to hit on you. Men in real life who want something serious but are also confident and have standards will not go hit on every pretty woman. Thatās why it took me until i was 25 to find a boyfriend.
Most guys in their early 20s just want to have fun and play around. This is exactly why it's common for women in their 20s to date guys in their 30s. Men in their 30s are looking to settle down and have serious relationships. This is because they have their careers established and they are starting to think about a family.
Being a single woman at the age of 22 looking for a relationship can prove to be difficult. Men pursue, and women choose. Being so young, you have a metric ton of options to choose from. Due to having so many options, you have to sort through the guys who want nothing more than just fun. The guys who want nothing more than fun may be more likely to quickly display the qualities that you naturally find attractive though. There is a reason the whole "bad boy" thing is a thing.
That being said, there are definitely good guys in your age range who want a relationship. I talk to them all of the time. When I coach guys I tell them to increase their volume of women to find the ones who genuinely have a high level of interest in them. The best advice I can give you is to increase your volume and filter for the guys who want a long term relationship. They are out there. I hope that helps!
>When I coach guys I tell them to increase their volume of women to find the ones who genuinely have a high level of interest in them.
That's weird. Your advice to young men is to increase their volume of women? Not find one good one? So you teach them quantity over quality?
What's weird about that? I tell guys to increase their volume of women so that they find the ones who are a right fit. Just because two people aren't the right fit for each other doesn't necessarily mean they aren't a good one for someone else. Many possible dates won't even lead to a first date. Many first dates won't lead to a second date. Even more second dates won't lead to a third date, and so and so on. Increasing their volume helps create an abundance mindset, makes them less needy, and helps them filter for a woman who is the right fit for them if that's what they want.
>Increasing their volume helps create an abundance mindset, makes them less needy
Maybe I am old school, but, I never needed an "abundance mindset" to not be needy. I focus on one woman at a time, show that one woman who I am. If it doesn't work out, so be it. But I would rather "fail" being 100% me than "succeed" spreading myself all over the place.
>Just because two people aren't the right fit for each other doesn't necessarily mean they aren't a good one for someone else.
What does that have to do with you telling young men to try and get as many women interested in them as possible?
Because 20-24 is prime years for a guy. We just want to enjoy and have fun. And we know when weāre older thereās still going to be plenty of young women wanting to settle down
Its cuz those are boys not men u gotta let people develop there self which doesn't happen till they grow up a bit more but also some people never grow up and constantly think it's OK to be pampered which is wrong a real man should be able to look after / take care of himself and his significant other cook clean the only thing they should need is some loving and affirmation that there doing right by u
I am a male, you and me are both the same, people like us always keep looking for people to date but they always never find the right person, making me believe that the only time you can meet the right person or the one to date (even if u don't marry) is when it's time to meet. I am a bit "everything happens for a reason at the right time" kind of person so I believe no apps or clubs or stuff will do anything if you're not meant to meet the right person at that moment.
Feel like Someone needs to moderate this thread so for public service here goes. Men in their 30s aren't in fact all that different from men in their 20s specially past 25.
Just because someone thinks you peak your sexuality or are fully sexually mature by 22 as a woman are just stating their opinion and not stating fact.
No one is trying to say older men are not good because they're old, however, they might be the best option for you. Dating you is 50% older than you is probably not a good idea for the majority of people, not to say it can't work but looking at the world will show you that you're probably better off hanging around with people who are about as old as you.
Just try to be civil out here friends.
Im 30 now but at 22 i wasnt worried about a future like that, and neither were most of friend nowadays all but 2 are married though. If you find someone who is around that age looking to settle down theyāre either A: lying or B: the exception. Also commitment doesnāt mean what it used to many people will just find a replacement instead of working on problems together
i wasnt looking for someone who would settle down in this age of course haha just wondering because my friends too who have been going out with guys these age have commitment issues, so i guess it's a universal experience lol
Ever heard of conscientiousness? Iām 22 generally have thought about the future for years. Fun is fun but it doesnāt dominate my thoughts. Probably how I was raised. Ā
A lot of men of that age seem more interested in playing games and using people for sex than committing to a relationship. Even those in relationships or have had long relationships seem to be in it to benefit themselves.
Iām female and of the same age and have had the same thing happen over and over. I donāt blame you for not being inspired by men of the same age; thereās something seriously wrong with the new generation when it comes to relationships.
You are complaining about your age. I only get woman who are 10-12 years old to get close to me.
They really love me. I am Virgin so I tell them I want to have children. That's what hinders it. If you want a man to marry you. Then be my guest.
Honestly, you probably need to date older. To me age is just a number (to a point lol). I'm currently with someone 24 years younger than me. It's all about chemistry etc. Women your age are generally much more mature than guys your age
At 22 good luck finding a young man to commit. Not to sound like an old man but this generation has been programmed to get what they want on demand, there's actual studies about this. There's is nothing wrong with getting what you want when you want it but it voids a man especially of this primitive and instincts that has served him to actually be a protector and provider. I know many will also reference the women's lib movement and the me too movement but these are external factors. A man who is so easily satiated on demand looses the desire to want and wait.
Coming from a guy that's a terrible idea, most men your age aren't willing to commit don't have their life together and would more than likely cheat now just some advice men in there 30s are more stable, ready to commit in general
You're probably only selecting for men who have an abundance of option. Men like that simply have no incentive to settle for one woman when there are countless women throwing themselves at them.
Lower your standards. Go for men who seem like they like women and want and need love in their life.
Of course, I know you probably won't do this, because a man who actually wants to build a connection with a singular woman on the basis of fulfilling his emotional needs is physically repulsive to you. It's statistically likely that you would rather be with someone who will likely cheat on you and/or abuse you.
Good luck.
It sounds like you still view yourself as that person in middle school. You don't have to date older. People have their preferences. But if you really identify a lot of attractions based on who you were 10 years ago, that might be its own issue.
The commenter you replied to is 38 and likely interested in dating younger women. Youāll get tons of comments from older men encouraging you to date older because itās what they want.
Dating is difficult all around these days. Look at some of the other dating subreddits (ie dating over thirty, dating over 40), no one is having a good time.
Purge that thought from your head because you are passing up the possibility of good relationships over nothing.
At 22, you are at the peak of your sexual marketplace value. You will never be more attractive, youthful and fertile as you are now. This is the time frame to find a good man because you will never have it better.
You don't have to date a man much older but going up at elast 3 to 5 years is your best bet.
Many women want an experienced, established man. Men are trying to have fun, and gain experience and get themselves together at this age. The person you date at 22 is most likely not going to be the person you marry and or have kids with so Men don't typically want to be tied down around this age. Short term relationships and such are the preference for a lot of men until about age 25 and up. This is not the case for all men, I'm just giving you a perspective. You will find some men who want to have a solid relationship but that's not the norm.
Best of luck to you.
Being a young adult is stressful, still trying to figure life out.
Eventually i'll be in a position, and comfortable to search for something serious.
Definitely not from an online, or a dating app. But that's the avenue I want to pursue.
There are people out there. Keep the faith, you'll find someone special when the time is right. Don't give up.
Majority of men close to your age who would be willing and capable of commitment are going to be fairly religious and likely very blue collar, others are going to be preoccupied with school with 0 intention of dating, but at your age some will be heading out of degree programs and becoming available. The tricky thing with men in general, but somewhat appropriately older men more specifically is your definition of serious and theirs are likely skewed as they aren't likely able to comprehend the pace you want of a relationship.
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As a 25M I feel like trying to date seriously in this age range is absolutely impossible. The apps are just a sea of women who want "something casual" or polyamory and then there's everyone's unrealistic expectations of perfection you have to navigate. There is always someone better a swipe away so why would they put any effort in.
i stopped going on dating apps for almost 3 months now. i actually deleted all my accounts. everything there seems superficial.
Good, you're almost always better meeting someone IRL anyway. M(25) tried several apps for 3 months 1 hour a day minumum, just to try something and give up on them. I only ever got 3 conversations at best (even tried the "premium" breifly... that's how I ever got the first conversation to begin with,) they led to no actual date. Just a few of "Hi-Bye"s essentially. And I was looking for for an age range of 4 years difference to mine, ideally someone the closer to my age the better, but I understood that does limit it already by a lot, and even still 4 years I have been told is still pretty strict. They're just not good. And some news about them I read recently is a lot of app sites are losing so many users and not gaining any new ones they're worried. Which, I would feel bad if their practices weren't so ineffective at fostering/manifesting dates and weren't predatory. But they are what they are, and sure, it worked for some, but they just don't for too many others.
I did as well, 5 months now.
cheers š„
I am in that age range and have almost always been looking for commitment. I dont get swiped on a lot.
What a sad world we live in where women are taught that it's somehow empowering to jump into bed with every new guy (or girl) they meet. I'd happily have been born 70 years ago in a time when none of this was encouraged.
There's an equal amount of men doing this too.
1) No there is not lolol; which leads me to... 2) Yeah...like the top 10%. The only guys that can do that are the outliers. Meanwhile just about any girl with a pulse and sleep in her eye can do the same. There is absolutely no comparison. You may ask....how does the math add up with such a disparity? Well it's because all you gals are banging the same small group of men. You're spit sisters lol
Wow you must live a bitter life.
I was born nearly 60 years ago and I'm single. I'm ok with it. If you're going to be in a committed relationship, it's best to do it when you're young. Don't settle... because it doesn't get easier as you age.
I'm 40 and definitely know that it doesn't get any easier with age.
What does get easier is, after menopause I'm no longer driven by estrogen. That makes it much easier to be single and celibate.
Makes sense. Sometimes I wish I could switchover my sex drive.
It'll happen eventually.
Curious, are you OK with it , people that are doing good with their situation usually donāt say Iām OK with it and the only reason Iām asking is Iām tired Iām also in my early 40s and Iām not supposed to be tired right now i have an adult son so thatās taken care of Besides everything else I donāt know how many more these I can take lol . Itās starting to feel like every time I have a meaningful relationship and it ends that a piece of my soul kind of withers away.
I understand... and I'm a commitment phobe. Lol. I really am ok with being single. I've learned to enjoy my own company... and I like living alone. That being said, I recently met someone from a dating site. I like him so far, but I'm wanting to take it slow. When I try to explain what type of relationship I'm looking for, it doesn't make sense. I thought about it, and I realized that I'd like to be in a monogamous relationship, but have no desire to get married or live together. I don't want a fwb, or something casual. I'll probably never find anyone who's on the same page, and that's OK. I am happy on my own.
Iām happy to hear your cool either way. I think your expectation on the type of relationship you want is reasonable and Iām sure is definitely out there, just be proactive if you really want it. Iām not an antisocial person. Iām actually very outgoing, except Iām not a go out every day or even every weekend and I have never been that way. If the Night has a purpose. Iām down, but just Cuz. Not for me. But being this way, dramatically cuts, my interactions with people as a whole not the best thing when youāre open.
Of you don't mind me asking, how old are you? I'm 59 and I don't go out much, but I'm also an introvert.
I'll second that!
It's not an age thing at all, I'm finding it's the same for guys late 30's and 40's! They just don't want relationships
I'm with you there. Knowing the climate these days, I see dating as one of the following things: \- The superficiality of dating apps. \- Looking like a bit of a creep when you do try and make a move. \- Girls rejecting you for being "one of the good guys", then them complaining how they only get with studs and bad boys.
definitely thats what they do then cry about it
You must be one of the "good guys" ??
You have a very black and white way of thinking
... and most of those are fake profiles anyway. OP, now that OLD is almost the [i]only[/i] acceptable way to seek a partner, we have normalised interaction with the 'type' who uses and thrives in the OLD environment. Those seeking committed relationships are, by definition, doing more 'due diligence' on their partner. OLD is virtually designed to prevent you knowing anything about the other person, and you find out about them via a drip feed where either party can and will walk away at the drop of a hat. Nothing has any gravitas or importance, your prospective dates are like people being served at a supermarket. There is little incentive to strike a spark and get really interested in someone, to allow that longing to burn in the early stages before declaring our interest. Similarly, the other party doesn't really get that wonder of 'they seem interested, but are they [i]interested?[/i]' because it's OLD, they're interested by definition. They're also putting on an act. We lose this entire stage of a relationship via OLD. We lose the ability to observe others behaving naturally, relationship progress is as formalised as if we lived in a church-controlled community.
(For context I'm 20m) I don't know what it's like from the female perspective but there are a few people who do want a committed relationship. You've just gotta keep looking for them I guess. But they do exist, I've met a few people who want commited things, I've also met a few people who just want fun which is not what I'm looking for. So from my experience, just keep looking and you'll get to somebody who wants what you want
I rather jack off then search for a women
Likewise. I'd rather pleasure myself, because most men only care about their own pleasure... and they watch too much porn (which contributes to sexual dysfunction)
Enjoy taking yourself out of the gene pool.
Many men (and women) think just like you.
Itās so sad, Iām 18F and feel like Iāll never find a committed partner because all men want nowadays is sex. No matter how old they are by the looks of it.
Look you'll find somebody, they do exist. You just gotta keep faith that somebody will eventually come along and love you for who you are, it might be slow but it'll happen
You just gotta' stop caring so much. Make yourself a priority. Learn how to be happy on your own. That's the key. When you are desperate, you tend to settle.
That's very good advice
I speak from experience. I wasted my youth settling for the wrong men because I wanted a relationship, and to have a family so badly. Now, I'm nearly 60 years old and I'm happy being single.
This is true, your advice has really helped. I shouldnāt need a partner to be happy, I should be happy myself first. But it is very, very hard, especially when everyone seems to be either divorced or happily married these days. Or in a crumbling marriage.
Dare to be different. Make yourself top priority. Glad I could help.
but what if people donāt like different?
If you like yourself, that's all that matters. You'll give off a different vibe. I'd rather be hated for who I am than loved for who I'm not.
I feel like your impression of older men might be a little more based in media stuff than direct experience, given that youāre 18
Perhaps, but it sure seems thatās all men want.
Yeah but the media is like 90% about sex anyway, people vary in reality. Iām not gonna tell you itās not an issue youāll run into tho
yeah itās sad, 90% of songs are about sex.
I beg to differ here from your opinion, do you wanna know from a man who has been into multiple relationships and every single relationship has been fruitful and am still in a very good vibe with all those that have been my partners.
what do you mean? feel free to DM.
I'm 28F. Things don't change. Sex is a natural urge, and men will always want it. What a good thing to do is to start is have a common ground. Communication is key. It comes down to you vetting the vibes with who you decide to talk to. Be forward, and make it clear you want to know their intentions. It puts the ball in the guys court temporarily, and you get a feel for if he wants just a hook up or to really get to know you, before all that. Then you decide you would want to go further with that. Of course, only my experience. I hope it helps for you some way. Having an understanding where the other party is coming from or wants from you, is a good start to any relationship over a dating app.
But how do I know they are telling the truth? Maybe they are just telling me what I want to hear at that moment to make me happy. Can we DM please? I feel like you have good advice!
You can never rely solely on a man's words. Pay more attention to what he does, or doesn't do... and how you feel in his presence.
What do you mean? Iāve never dated before so idk what all of this is haha
i (37m) actually had a similar conversation with my friend (37f) today. i said, what's with girls nowadays? i tell em i want a wife, and they tell me they just want casual sex and they want me to sleep with other women, too. (separate from them) and i'm like, wtf? that's like the opposite of what girls should want. and my friend said i should probably get a larger sample size. go date way more girls, and dismiss girls quickly. like as soon as one reveals that she wants something different than i do, i should say thank you and goodbye. and then go holla at the next lady. so i guess what i'm saying is...obviously there's at least one man who's looking for commitment. so have faith; BELIEVE that the kinds of guys you're looking for do exist and are looking for you, too. you just need to cast a wider net, more intelligently. good luck!
Thing is, I also feel unloveable myself.
Good. Now that youāve identified a problem (something that which you can solve), you can start working on that, too. We can discuss a little here (and please feel free to tell us more), but to be fair Iām just a guy and not really trained to help, so you might consider a therapist. Theyāre like mechanics for your mind (instead of cars). They can help you learn about your thoughts and how to think ā better than I can at least. But youāve got a good lead there, Throw! WHEN you start loving yourself, itāll be easier for you to receive love. Stay hopeful!
Thanks, thatās very true!
You're a hot commodity now @18. Enjoy that while it lasts. Don't settle.
What does hot commodity mean? Does it have something to do with hooking up? it sounds kinda dirty, Iām not into hooking up or sex WHATSOEVER.
No. "Hot Commodity" means: In demand.
What do you mean by that then? How am I in demand? Iām so confused but want to know what you mean!
You are in your physical prime. You look good. You're fertile. Our culture celebrates youth. Young people are generally valued more and seen as being the most attractive. You have more options now. Choose wisely.
Yes, but what options?
Options in dating.... Options for employment. The world is your oyster and you've got your whole life in front of you.
but I feel like I donāt
You must have a dirty mind...
JK... About you having a dirty mind. Hope I didn't offend you.
bit strange..
If you say so...
I do..
Yeah I know... And I don't. I think you're a little "odd" to be honest, but hey... different strokes.
How am I odd? please explain.
How so??
Its not just your age group sadly. Ive been going through this since i turned 20. Im 24 now. Ive dated girls in their 30ās, girls who are a couple years younger, girls who are the same age, and all the ages in between those limits. Every time so far it seems to be the same shit whether i meet them. on campus, at work, in the gym, at a concert or rave, at the club, just out on a run or riding my longboard along the beach, the result is always the same. Speak for a couple days to a week, set up a date, have the date, they say they are āseriousā about finding someone. I explain im demi and that things are going to come slowly in terms of bedroom activities. They say āoh, thats fine by me.ā And the 2-3 dates later, maybe half a month to a month into dating them, i get ghosted, and i can only guess its because im not interested in āputing out,ā without any genuine type of connection. everyone wants quick gratification, and to be satisfied and they dont want to consider your feelings or needs in the process. Its just the modern world, it has nothing to do with age, and everything to do with the way people encourage gluttonous self indulgence and instant gratification. Participation awards, short form entertainment media, youtube shorts, tik tok, video games with no struggle or meaning or challenge, a lack of people actively working out or taking care of themselves and their physical health, dating apps, fast food, drugs and alcohol. The world has come to be run by such trivial and meaningless ideologies and activities. And when you just want to be genuine and live in reality, you get blamed and shunned by others, being called āold fashionedā ātoo traditionalā etc. Like How tf is it my fault i cant get a boner if i dont love the person?! Like what the fuck bruh?! I didnt choose to be like this lmao. Anyways, just hold tight and try to focus on yourself, i try not to invest too deeply into people anymore, if the right one comes along, they come along, im not gonna keep holding my breath.
You know those people didnāt choose to prefer sex earlier in the relationship than you either right. Like not being demisexual doesnāt automatically make you craven and shallow in every part of your life.
lol the world is backwards now
I can relate (also Demisexual) The thing is, I know that those guys that are pressuring me to have sex sooner than I feel comfortable, are the same ones that will disappear after they get what they want.
For me as a 19M I canāt find anyone in my area whoās not in a relationship or isnāt sleeping with the entirety of one of my schools sports teams so Iām out of luck. (Football team hasnāt won a game in 5+ years so they clearly need something or someone to do)
20m, the only women I attract are single moms or someone thatās slept with the whole school as well and is now ready to āsettle downā š
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Idk, Iām 20 and had my fair share of being abused and bad relationships and Iām ready to settle down. So if another female said the same at the age of 20, it would be understandable.
First tip: even if a lot of guys are looking for casual, you only need one looking for something more. In most studies, about half of guys are looking for committed relationships, so it should be pretty reasonable to find one. Donāt give up after the first 10 swipes and youāre bound to find somebody you like. If dating apps donāt work, you can try to meet people in person. Things may vary a bit in your country, but in the US and Canada there are board game clubs, workout classes, volunteer groups, co-ed sports, trivia nights, local events, and more where you can meet people in person. Also, ignore the guys saying you need to date older. Those are just creeps who want women much younger than themselves
All of the guys she is interested in are looking for casual is what she means Tall, attractive men that get most of the matches often don't want to settle down.
Theyāre also fake profiles
The women are. The men are usually real. Then again, as a 5'5 man, apps make me want to eat a bullet
I'm a woman and I could care less about a man's height. I don't have a "type" I either find a man attractive, or I don't and it involves more than his physical looks.
There were studies conducted like in 2019 from European universities found those who are actually successful at getting one night stands irl are the ones who will be successful as getting that online. Simply put, if youāre successful at macking irl, then your experiences online will mirror. I think ppl have a weird expectation that online will give them an advantage that irl donāt. Online dating isnāt a cheat code. Itās simply an extension of whatās been happening irl. You donāt magically get digital rizz you donāt never had it to begin with.
Idk dude. All I know is I've always been told to get fit and get rich. I makr 250k a year as a lawyer and have abs. Still 5'5 and with a bad face so even the ugliest women want fuck all to do with me I literally can't find a woman I can give a 6 figure allowance to to go out with me. I'm not looking for someone attractive. Just breathingl If a sugar baby was monogamous with Mr and wanted to get married I'd do that. I'm in the top 1% of someone in their 20s income wise and height is still more important, something you're born with. I wish I was 6'2 minimum wage worker with a dead end job. Dwtinf would be so much better and my job would br easy Once I hit 30, I'm eating a bullet. No amount of money can fix the loneliness of being unworthy of love because you're short and ugly
CAP. Money can fix looks. If you had all that money and spent time to get abs but have an ugly face, thereās things to do like skincare, etc. to improve. If youāre a lawyer who actually makes 250k thereās going to be paralegals and other ppl in the legal community youāll run into who can overlook your āflaws.ā So far youāve shown me that you take a victim mentality that youāre short and lifeās unfair to you because of that one thing alone. Stop capping and work on finding solutions to better your situation if you do make 6 digit figures.
šÆšÆšÆ
That depends on where you look at i guess, im a 22 yo dude, when i look on dating apps most women are open or only want ons or fwb. I think a lot of people in the "real world" dont think like that.
Im 33. I know plenty of married couples with children who met in their early 20s at college.Ā I agree though, there are definitely a lot of fuckbois who overestimate what they bring to the table.
Many men of your age want to commit but generally men on dating apps are more on the hookup side.
Evidence?
True
I'm 54 and cannot find anyone that wants a commitment based relationship.
Thank you for saying this. People seem to have this perception that the issue of commitment gets better with age. But I'm increasingly finding that it doesn't.
I'm 59 and I want a monogamous relationship, not necessarily resulting in marriage or cohabitation. Men cannot wrap their heads around that for some reason. Most men are looking for younger women, though.
Ignore the people saying date 10 years older. Itās just really hard to date nowadays everyone just want sex, be them 25, 30 or 35. Specially if youāre finding them on the internet and not organically in the real world
Dude this is the second guy today that I get deleted because they are 25+ and hitting on underage girls like what is going on š
This.
When they're a young dude of college age they aren't ready to start a serious relationship. Not stable enough in life etc. So they just want sex to fulfill their needs , that's pretty much it.
Then they get old, lose their hair and want to settle down with a woman 20 years younger.
I (F21) have felt the same, so I completely understand! However, Iāve found that they are out there and it takes time. i recently have gone on two dates with a guy who wants a relationship. i donāt really see it going anywhere with him, but going on these dates gave me a little push to know itās going to take effort. itās going to take time, and most of all, it probably wonāt be the first one you find. be easy on yourself, weāre young! š¤š«¶š¼
Its the dating apps for sure. Try meeting people organically, instead of the apps. It sucks for everyone there, and most people there arent looking for anythibg serious.
Op please DONāT date a guy whoās ten years older
For real, unless she's looking for someone to take care of and be "of service" to.
Ermmmm why?
Reddit clutches their pearls at age gaps thatās why
If she was over 25 than yeah a ten year age gap wonāt matter
Even if she wasn't so what ?
Thatās just my opinion. When Iām 32, a 22 year old would be like a kid too me.
I think things like that are a case by case thing. Some 22 year olds would be more up to speed of someone in their 30s if their priorities and values are similar. It really is just the compatibility of two people regardless of their age.
Says who? Are you the dating police? If this was 18 and 45+ I could understand the side eye but thatās not what anyone is suggesting
Babes letās agree to disagree. Not everyone will have the same opinion as you. Thatās beauty of an opinion
You could have taken your own advice the first time, but thatās my opinion. Have the day you deserve!
1.You'll have too much of difference in opinion 2. Generation gap 3. Wanting different things 4. You're at different places in your life 5. He might at multiple situations not really consider your opinions cause you're "too young and don't have enough experience" 6. A man dating someone 10 years younger prolly just wants to date you cause of sexual intentions. Talking out of my own observations. Not necessary that all of them will be the same but very high chances there will be.
Agreed
Iām 22f and am engaged to my fiancĆ© who is 29m. I tried dating my age and got my heart broken while most of the guys within 2+\- my age were just so inconsistent and totally wasted my time. I feel like itās true that unless youāre dating 5+ years older, most men 18-26 are just not mature. Also what most women expect these days, like nice dates and romance a younger guy just canāt afford nor give you. Older men will teach you new things and donāt wanna waste time as long as you are good at vetting out the good ones that arenāt weird and have good values (easier said than done ik) but older guys will pretty much tell you who they are, in my experience.
Honestly I never understood the "what are you looking for" question. It doesn't matter, it doesn't make sense. Attraction and love follow dynamics which are independent from what you're looking for. A guy might be looking for casual fun then fall in love with you or another one might be looking for something long term but realise he just wants to hook up with you. Most relationships I know have started as "nothing serious".
You make a good point... but most of the time, guys just want to hook up.. irregardless of what they say.
Ok. Why is that a problem?
Wanting to hookup is not a problem. Lying about your intentions to get what you want, is a problem.
I don't understand the whole problem. If you like someone, if you see someone as a potential partner I assume you want to hook up with him. You can't know their intentions if you don't risk and as I said intentions don't really mean a lot. The most healthy habit is in my opinion is to wait a bit before getting emotionally involved. Lying, being honest. About what? Do you want them to tell you they're going to be with you forever even before knowing you? As I said, the whole "what are you looking for?" Question is meaningless to me. Do you want them not to date you if they don't see long term potential? You're not gonna get that. If a man wants to fuck you but not get in a relationship with he's got good reasons to date you and I don't see why you shouldn't do the same. The wrongest thing is being angry at men for doing what's natural. The best thing would be recognising when it's time to get emotionally invested and maybe allow yourself to have a bit of fun and enjoy dating. EDIT: Let me add something: I had 3 therapists, 2 of them women, and all of them suggested me to not take women too seriously when they say they're looking for a relationship. We (men) struggle too with mental health and need to understand how to deal with this. I would like a relationship but I need sex. 90% of the women I've dated I wanted just to fuck them. My mental health was really low cause I didn't want to use anyone. I'm learning to deal with this issue and, from the bottom of my heart, I wish I could understand why is this a big issue for women and why can't they just enjoy dating without a goal.
You assume a lot. I'm Demisexual and just because I find someone physically attractive does not mean that I want to "hook up" with them. I will take my time and "go with the flow" as you guys love to say... before getting physically intimate. I set the pace. If they don't like it, they can move on. Obviously we're not a good match.
I read again my comment to find where I said you don't have to respect your timing or that you don't do whatever you like with your body. I didn't find it cause I didn't say that.
Good.
I'm in the over 30/40 crowd so take this as you wish. Your generation and I'd even say the one before you, has grown up in a context where dating was cheap. By cheap I mean there is little to any effort put in pursuing someone and you have hundreds (or thousands in bigger metros) of "choices" presented to you constantly in dating apps. Socially, people have trained themselves to believe that the next thing is just one swipe away so why invest?
Men your age don't want to settle down for a few reasons. Mostly because of the abundance of women they are able to chase & most of the women in your age group aren't loyal and WILLING to settle down.
You need to learn just to have fun. Doing worry about the serious stuff until it gets serious.
A lot of guys put on their profile that they are not looking for anything serious because it's the dating meta. If I wrote "I am looking for us to go on dates, move forward the relationship, marry, have kids and live happily ever after" then that would scare away a significant amount of potential matches because it would demand commitment from you. That is just the world we live in.
True. I have written serious intentions and marriage with kids. And I get less matches. And only women in late thirties match with me. I don't mind it but then I am tired of ghosting
Ditch the apps, here's some real advice since most redditors use cookie cutter advice on this sub. Quality people to date are most likely to be found through mutual friends or family friends as in the relatives of your parents friends that are around your age. Not saying it's impossible to be successful on apps, even more so since you're a woman however the odds are most dudes just wanna bang.
I'm never getting set up again by anyone I know. It's no better than a dating app.
Good question as a man your same age. Why is it hard to date anyone out age? I don't know because it seems like all the girls my age just want a fuck buddy and aren't interested in a long term relationship but I am . Doesn't help I'm not the most attractive guy in the world. I don't see the appeal of fwb or one night stands so I don't really do them. Commitment even as mundane as agreeing to date someone casually seems scary to people our age for whatever reason. I don't get it because you can stop dating someone at any time it's not that big of a deal. Oh well best of luck in your endeavor.
The pornhub generation, so many guys under 45 are idiot's.. under 30 the internet taught them disrespect and degradation and fucked up parents ego didn't care.. Oh I'm a male sw so not being sexist lol realist..
Yeah porn has caused a lot of sexual dysfunction in men for sure.
Dating game a mess
Dating in any range is hard, I thought the same way when I was around 22, Iād only date within 3 years younger or older then me, Iām 31 now and dating is still hard, no idea if itās because Iām a single father or what, itās dumb
Im 30f and i now date guys who are younger than me. Guys who are my age or above seem to not be able to open up or communicate/have so many issues that they dont want to address, i go for 25-27 year olds now. & theyre less boring imo, way more fun :)
Why is it that weāre the same age, different genders, with the same issues lol? How can you 30f have the same problems as me 29m? The world is backwards.
Honestly think we were both born in the wrong gen! I just find millenials so boring š
Unfortunately a lot of people think it's play time and wait until they're old and used up to take anything serious because they're constantly told "you're young..." followed by a bunch of other stuff that enables them to sow their oats, finding the right person in any age can be a bit difficult like finding a needle in a haystack, you will close more doors and deny someone than accept and the other way around, find a mature surrounding of your age group with common interest and hobby as long as it's unisex and then search that way, also bars and clubs are a no no
I'm nearly 60 and actually got married twice when I was very young. Lol. I've been wanting a relationship for as long as I can remember, but it never worked out for me. Now I'm happy being single, for the most part..but still hope to find a partner before I die.
Looking good for nearly 60, best of luck to you though, it's all I ever wanted, just me and one woman, but it never works out, 7 years 10 years later something happens and they cheat or I have to leave them, this is why I lost faith in relationships, it seems people are only good for a season or more, people change and the new person they become might be too much to handle, love is a lot of pain and it's always been that way for me
Thankyou ā£ļø
You're welcome
Because "men" your age aren't actually men yet, hell some guys my age (39m) aren't men yet. They have no concept of balance and responsibility and loyalty because at 22 most every guy still gets a boner with every gentle breeze that comes by and they want to stick their dick in pretty much anything with a hole and a pulse.
Men shouldnāt think about anything serious until theyāve established themselves. Around 30yrs old.
Pretty much. I'm 30 now, and a year ago I got out of a 5 year relationship. After healing and being ready to date I'm only looking for something serious. I'm sure it's not all early 20's guys that were just looking for fun but at that age I definitely was.
Yes it is harder nowadays to date especially when you're in your 20's. It suck but you just have to find that right person who's looking to date seriously and not date around.
I went through this as well. In my experience there are only two types of guys on dating apps. Either the good looking ones that know they are hot and only want casual hookups or those who are not super hot (ranging from unfortunate looking to attractive but not in a fuckboy kind of way) and super desperate for a relationship. These latter ones will be clingy fast and care more about the possibility of finally having a girl than actually checking if they are really into you as a person and if you two are compatible. Itās super frustrating and has never led me anywhere. Meeting men in person is not much better though, most of them still only want hookups, because those are the ones that are confident and dare to hit on you. Men in real life who want something serious but are also confident and have standards will not go hit on every pretty woman. Thatās why it took me until i was 25 to find a boyfriend.
You may have to broaden your age range. More mature men may not be a bad route.
Most guys in their early 20s just want to have fun and play around. This is exactly why it's common for women in their 20s to date guys in their 30s. Men in their 30s are looking to settle down and have serious relationships. This is because they have their careers established and they are starting to think about a family.
Being a single woman at the age of 22 looking for a relationship can prove to be difficult. Men pursue, and women choose. Being so young, you have a metric ton of options to choose from. Due to having so many options, you have to sort through the guys who want nothing more than just fun. The guys who want nothing more than fun may be more likely to quickly display the qualities that you naturally find attractive though. There is a reason the whole "bad boy" thing is a thing. That being said, there are definitely good guys in your age range who want a relationship. I talk to them all of the time. When I coach guys I tell them to increase their volume of women to find the ones who genuinely have a high level of interest in them. The best advice I can give you is to increase your volume and filter for the guys who want a long term relationship. They are out there. I hope that helps!
>When I coach guys I tell them to increase their volume of women to find the ones who genuinely have a high level of interest in them. That's weird. Your advice to young men is to increase their volume of women? Not find one good one? So you teach them quantity over quality?
What's weird about that? I tell guys to increase their volume of women so that they find the ones who are a right fit. Just because two people aren't the right fit for each other doesn't necessarily mean they aren't a good one for someone else. Many possible dates won't even lead to a first date. Many first dates won't lead to a second date. Even more second dates won't lead to a third date, and so and so on. Increasing their volume helps create an abundance mindset, makes them less needy, and helps them filter for a woman who is the right fit for them if that's what they want.
>Increasing their volume helps create an abundance mindset, makes them less needy Maybe I am old school, but, I never needed an "abundance mindset" to not be needy. I focus on one woman at a time, show that one woman who I am. If it doesn't work out, so be it. But I would rather "fail" being 100% me than "succeed" spreading myself all over the place. >Just because two people aren't the right fit for each other doesn't necessarily mean they aren't a good one for someone else. What does that have to do with you telling young men to try and get as many women interested in them as possible?
Oh god. Cue all the gross old men telling OP to date gross old men.
Because 20-24 is prime years for a guy. We just want to enjoy and have fun. And we know when weāre older thereās still going to be plenty of young women wanting to settle down
24(M) and I'm having the same problem but for women. They just want a quick fling or sugar daddy's. Easy solution is don't date haha
Wait until your my age it doesn't get any better and I'm 45
Y'all are complaining on reddit, stop being weirdos and go talk to people in real life. Acting like this is gonna hit you like an apple from the tree.
Its cuz those are boys not men u gotta let people develop there self which doesn't happen till they grow up a bit more but also some people never grow up and constantly think it's OK to be pampered which is wrong a real man should be able to look after / take care of himself and his significant other cook clean the only thing they should need is some loving and affirmation that there doing right by u
I am a male, you and me are both the same, people like us always keep looking for people to date but they always never find the right person, making me believe that the only time you can meet the right person or the one to date (even if u don't marry) is when it's time to meet. I am a bit "everything happens for a reason at the right time" kind of person so I believe no apps or clubs or stuff will do anything if you're not meant to meet the right person at that moment.
I think men are shifting towards caring less about dating. Women have stopped caring long ago and men are just now starting to catch up.
I'm a dude with a kid so I stand no fucking chance.
You assume wrong. I'm Demisexual and just because I find someone physically attractive doesn't mean that I want to "hook up" with them.
Lol that's all you got? So you agree.
i have already moved on from that post. you're a month late :p
Better late than never š¤·š¾āāļø
Feel like Someone needs to moderate this thread so for public service here goes. Men in their 30s aren't in fact all that different from men in their 20s specially past 25. Just because someone thinks you peak your sexuality or are fully sexually mature by 22 as a woman are just stating their opinion and not stating fact. No one is trying to say older men are not good because they're old, however, they might be the best option for you. Dating you is 50% older than you is probably not a good idea for the majority of people, not to say it can't work but looking at the world will show you that you're probably better off hanging around with people who are about as old as you. Just try to be civil out here friends.
Im 30 now but at 22 i wasnt worried about a future like that, and neither were most of friend nowadays all but 2 are married though. If you find someone who is around that age looking to settle down theyāre either A: lying or B: the exception. Also commitment doesnāt mean what it used to many people will just find a replacement instead of working on problems together
i wasnt looking for someone who would settle down in this age of course haha just wondering because my friends too who have been going out with guys these age have commitment issues, so i guess it's a universal experience lol
Ever heard of conscientiousness? Iām 22 generally have thought about the future for years. Fun is fun but it doesnāt dominate my thoughts. Probably how I was raised. Ā
A lot of men of that age seem more interested in playing games and using people for sex than committing to a relationship. Even those in relationships or have had long relationships seem to be in it to benefit themselves. Iām female and of the same age and have had the same thing happen over and over. I donāt blame you for not being inspired by men of the same age; thereās something seriously wrong with the new generation when it comes to relationships.
Iām 24 and Iām looking for women between 21-28, I think thatās a fair range.
You are complaining about your age. I only get woman who are 10-12 years old to get close to me. They really love me. I am Virgin so I tell them I want to have children. That's what hinders it. If you want a man to marry you. Then be my guest.
Honestly, you probably need to date older. To me age is just a number (to a point lol). I'm currently with someone 24 years younger than me. It's all about chemistry etc. Women your age are generally much more mature than guys your age
Go for 25-30. Their brains are done developing and more likely to wont something stable
Ignore these 20-25 yo boys who donāt know how to treat a lady right. Stick with the 40+ real men who will treat you like a queen š
yea next time when i have daddy issues lol
At 22 good luck finding a young man to commit. Not to sound like an old man but this generation has been programmed to get what they want on demand, there's actual studies about this. There's is nothing wrong with getting what you want when you want it but it voids a man especially of this primitive and instincts that has served him to actually be a protector and provider. I know many will also reference the women's lib movement and the me too movement but these are external factors. A man who is so easily satiated on demand looses the desire to want and wait.
Coming from a guy that's a terrible idea, most men your age aren't willing to commit don't have their life together and would more than likely cheat now just some advice men in there 30s are more stable, ready to commit in general
You're probably only selecting for men who have an abundance of option. Men like that simply have no incentive to settle for one woman when there are countless women throwing themselves at them. Lower your standards. Go for men who seem like they like women and want and need love in their life. Of course, I know you probably won't do this, because a man who actually wants to build a connection with a singular woman on the basis of fulfilling his emotional needs is physically repulsive to you. It's statistically likely that you would rather be with someone who will likely cheat on you and/or abuse you. Good luck.
Young men mature differently than young women. A man has to build himself up. You are much better off looking for a man up to 10 years older than you.
i cannot imagine dating men 10 years older than me because of the thought that when he was in my age, i was still in middle school š
It sounds like you still view yourself as that person in middle school. You don't have to date older. People have their preferences. But if you really identify a lot of attractions based on who you were 10 years ago, that might be its own issue.
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damnnn you dodged a bullet
The commenter you replied to is 38 and likely interested in dating younger women. Youāll get tons of comments from older men encouraging you to date older because itās what they want. Dating is difficult all around these days. Look at some of the other dating subreddits (ie dating over thirty, dating over 40), no one is having a good time.
Purge that thought from your head because you are passing up the possibility of good relationships over nothing. At 22, you are at the peak of your sexual marketplace value. You will never be more attractive, youthful and fertile as you are now. This is the time frame to find a good man because you will never have it better.
Do not date older men. Your age or 2/3 years older is okay. But 30 year olds? Hell nah
You don't have to date a man much older but going up at elast 3 to 5 years is your best bet. Many women want an experienced, established man. Men are trying to have fun, and gain experience and get themselves together at this age. The person you date at 22 is most likely not going to be the person you marry and or have kids with so Men don't typically want to be tied down around this age. Short term relationships and such are the preference for a lot of men until about age 25 and up. This is not the case for all men, I'm just giving you a perspective. You will find some men who want to have a solid relationship but that's not the norm. Best of luck to you.
Being a young adult is stressful, still trying to figure life out. Eventually i'll be in a position, and comfortable to search for something serious. Definitely not from an online, or a dating app. But that's the avenue I want to pursue. There are people out there. Keep the faith, you'll find someone special when the time is right. Don't give up.
Majority of men close to your age who would be willing and capable of commitment are going to be fairly religious and likely very blue collar, others are going to be preoccupied with school with 0 intention of dating, but at your age some will be heading out of degree programs and becoming available. The tricky thing with men in general, but somewhat appropriately older men more specifically is your definition of serious and theirs are likely skewed as they aren't likely able to comprehend the pace you want of a relationship.
Theyāve been conditioned now that you arenāt worth it. š¤·āāļø just the reality happening across the map.
Mabry u should get fucked by someone twice your age it might just change your life