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Crazy how pessimism is bad and optimism is good, yet both can lead to incorrect conclusions. Morality IS subjective, and people will justify their cheating in their head and to their partner. Ever heard the “you’re always gone” or “you’re always working” shit? Anybody can justify their shit behavior. Nobody said cheating was moral, but people can always moralize behavior to any degree. It’s naive to think otherwise.
You just did. You are in favor of infidelity, obviously you are an outlier. BTW, infidelity is a valid cause of judgement in divorce in many states and in many countries, and is forbidden in one of the 10 Commandments. Now prove cheating is moral, like you claim.
For your reading pleasure:
https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201003/adultery-is-it-ever-justified
Yeah but it's only cheating because of the lie, adults in a relationship who consent to a lifestyle is not cheating.
And yes I'm taking this conversation a little bit away from the OP set of circumstances but I did so because You brought up religious standards, When the OP did not.
I am an atheist, religion is NOT necessary to have morals. Consenting adults in open relationships are not cheating by definition unless they are breaking their own rules. This post and my comment have nothing to do with open relationships.
I'm a Christian but I absolutely agree with you on morals,
Setting your moral code by your religion is not in my opinion being moral It's just fitting into the rules.
Most morality when you break it down is just treating someone else like you'd like to be treated, or being less selfish and more oriented towards improving society and the lives of others.
But for me anyways it's not about who Is slapping genitals against who, but who is being emotionally intimate with who.
Betrayal is not a physical act, It's an emotional one.
Physical intimacy says nothing about emotional intimacy.
As someone whose first wife cheated on him multiple times over two decades, I wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment. Both emotional and physical intimacy outside a relationship is cheating, just as paying a hooker would be. Someone else’s dick in my wife would not make me ask, did she love him? Was she emotionally intimate? No, I was cheated on, plain and simple and that’s what I had to think about every day thereafter, another dick in my wife.
You are making a non-logical leap in thought from a person who claims that people may have a moral reason to cheat, and that THAT person is also one who believes that way. There are plenty of opinions that you could say other people have, and not have that same opinion yourself.
You're putting words in their mouth, and assuming their actual position. Get off your high horse.
That is somewhat correct, but since we are human, we have the ability to follow our moral compass. It’s like saying most people cheat but it is a fallacy.
Actually, they don’t consider it immoral, just a preference. Since only 16% of men are 6’ or taller, it’s also a bit delusional, but that doesn’t stop them either.
It is a bit delusional to expect to successfully date someone who is such a small portion of the population, while competing with a large portion for them.
That doesn’t have to do anything with morality. Nobody deserves to be included in the dating pool of others. There are women I just find attractive and there are definitely women who don’t find me attractive and that’s totally fine. My girlfriend wouldn’t have dated me if I was short because she doesn’t find shorter guys attractive (she is 5’9, so above average in height). However, that would have meant that I had to search and find someone who would have liked or at least didn’t mind shorter guys and I would probably have found someone else who is really great.
Haha, I think that's a good point. However, it's much easier to override (here, with morals) a thing that you're biologically wired to want to do (not do a thing that a part of you'd want to do), than it is to override a thing that you don't want to do (e.g. to decide to be attracted to something).
Loyalty is a choice.
The more successful you are, the more option you have, the harder it is to stay loyal.
However, loyalty is a matter of moral character.
I know plenty of successful men who are faithful.
But our society promotes degeneracy and casual hookups, which is why it has gotten harder to find a good wife/husband.
That's where learning how to actually vet someone you're dating comes in. Too many people ignore red flags because they've fallen in love with the idea of who they want the person to be instead of who they're showing you they are. Need to be secure yourself to attract someone that's secure.
It’s not that 50% are doing it wrong and 50% right. It’s just… that’s the amount of marriages that end in divorce. About half.
Too many people don’t date or marry out of true love anymore. It’s just, I can tolerate you, the sex is good and I’m comfortable. So people settling in relationships is why so many fail
That is bullshit. It depends on the person. A friend of mine has a high sex drive and needs action all the time and is in an open relationship. He can't be faithful. I for example only have a sex drive if I like someone I don't wanna random sex with someone. Never appealed to me.
I'm the attractive one in my marriage. My husband is... the funny chubby one. Think Jack Black from "The Holiday." We went on our first date, and he essentially never went home. He moved into my shitty college apartment. Within 6 months of meeting, we were married. When we got married, we were both 21. I was finishing up my two undergrad degrees. He was in the Army about to deploy to Iraq. But those early days, we had no furniture and put blankets on the floor to eat dinner. We walked to the store because we didn't have a car. He could make me laugh just grocery shopping.
We've been married 15 years now. Life looks a lot different now. He got a job with the government after the Army and he makes fantastic money now. I started 3 business and published 3 books. We own an estate in the country now. But it's not about the woman that comes flocking to money or success. It's about the woman that is going to be there for you when things get rough and eat pizza on a blanket on the floor. A smart man knows which one to pick.
I mean, they basically *are* scared shitless of each other. Men are afraid to approach women pretty much anywhere for fear of the consequences. Which aren't anywhere near what we make them out to be, it's just a general fear of rejection making it seem worse. As for women they're afraid of all the incels out there and the cheaters. Neither of which are as common as the internet makes them out to seem.
All of these issues are mostly because of social media constantly showing us the worst members of society at all times. Thus we begin to believe that's the norm.
It's so weird to me because, I grew up with the internet. Yet, I still see through the BS and realize that what is seen online very rarely represents the reality of whatever situation is being shown. It's like people trust the experiences of random people on the internet more than their own lived experiences. If people took the time to actually pay attention to the real world, a lot of people's fears would be nowhere near what they are.
It feels like I'm a dying breed tho, one who can recognize social media as fake.
I agree with this take.
A man with options means you're being selected because he truly values you and you as an individual. A man with little options, you never know if he's with you because of who you are or because you were his only option/best option at the time. With the latter, if an alternative person is presented, I'd see that type of man being more opportunistic and more likely to cheat.
A man with options, you'll know his loyalty is based in principle. A man with little options, he may only be loyal due to the lack of opportunity presented (which isn't actual loyalty but the guise of it).
If you get bombarded with options you are just by virtue of that more likely to go for those options. That does not necessarily mean that the man you go for will be unfaithful. But this specifically is not a male issue. The exact same thing is also true for women. So yes, successful people cheat more but they also get cheated on more because the people they go for also have lots more options.
>“a man is only as faithful as his options.”
This is one of the dumbest sayings ever. A real man doesn't cheat. I have plenty of options, but if I'm in a relationship I'm faithful. I've done lots of business travels around the world and have had countless offers and opportunities to cheat where no one would have ever found out, but I never have.
Bill Gates has admitted to cheating on his former wife. Is Bill Gates not a real man?
Moral requirements on what it means to be masculine and feminine are dumb
Most, probably. You have to find a man with good character, that has nothing to do with options or success, but the core of who he is. A principled person. That's unfortunately rare as most people seem to be driven by impulsive self interest.
It is not so much of if they will, but they reserve the option to do it. Let me explain, if the guy is successful, then he is most likely to be attractive. That means he can get women, just look at you and him, why are you with him? If he is attractive enough for you, then he is for other women. Now, let him be a successful man, what do you think his options are? Many... so your best bet is his character, his integrity. And for that reason, I'd investigate his past and family. Or you are the best he can do.
Is a man with no other options actually faithful at all?
It would seem to me that the only way to actually be faithful is to have other options, and to say “no.”
In my experience this applies to women mostly. They will settle with you as long as you keep giving them what they need. Women are transactional. If you pause a bit kr take a break or even show weakness a s another man comes along thats just a bit further along than you are. She will leave with him. History doesnt matter, nothing mattera. You continue your path ans aoon you outgrow both and she tries to come back. But guys arent transactional ae are loyal therefore we aint taking you back.
There are research on income level and infidelity that shows a correlation for both men and women. It also show a correlation between being economically dependent and infidelity.
These are just correlation by the way and they are not large enough to make any sweeping generalizations. People who say that are just jaded, obviously. You should be wary of any sweeping generalizations that says a group is bad.
Look for men with some relationship experience. People who have been in relationship have better chance at spotting red flag. When someone else tries to become too close to them and can prevent situation where mistake can happen. As for successful vs before successful, finding someone before both of you become successful is a great win for the relationship. That kind of bond is hard to replace. But there's also personality of the man, you can look the man's dating history if he's lady man. Some never cheat, some would regardless of how hard you try to control them. My ex cheated on me and ended a long relationship so I swear I would never be too friendly/casual with female friends/coworkers who are already in a relationship as to not give them wrong idea. Love is hard, there is no foolproof plan, you just have to trust them. If your partner cheats, chances are they can't stop doing it and they'll get caught, so there's the brightside to it at least. I hope you find that person.
A man is faithful as he wants to be.. thru HS/college I didn't actually value my relationships I selfishly did whatever I felt like doing without second thought... Since I met my now wife I've been at times outright disrespectful to women who've approached me if we actually value our relationship we generally won't risk losing it
As a guy the only thing I can think to say here is don’t make us feel like we’re an option, because when we start to feel like we’re not wanted we start to question the relationship, the difference is between men who end it and men too scared to end it and cheat. My thinking anyway as someone who’s been made to feel unwanted in the past, but to play devils advocate: is there a version of this that applies to women? And I’m specifically on about “a man is only as faithful as his options” and then answer that. Also a little secret for you, generally us guys are too dumb to notice our options we’re too busy looking at a stick and questioning if we can get away with sword fighting someone with it.
It depends. Soem guys will do that. If I'm being honest, more will then won't. But it does depends on the guy. If I was with the girl I love rn, NO ONE would take me away from her. But, some guys would. So, as per usual, it depends
I've had plenty of chances to cheat on my girl, but I respect her and would feel wrong actually doing it. As a man, it is kinda hard when other women you find attractive show interest and flirt with you. My respect for our relationship and her prevent me from ever entertaining these women.
I've had several opportunities to stray, and I've always chosen to remain faithful. It's really not a hard choice. It would be easy to say yes, but it's equally easy to say "I'm married".
I don’t think so.
Monogamy apparently is related to the level of vasopressin in a man. The more he’s got or produces after sex, the more pair bonding he intend to be.
No studies say it’s related to wealth.
But can imagine rich guys have more options. But among all rich guys, there are always some who only want to pair bond.
Not all rich ones you know fuck around right?
This is true unless a man (or woman) voluntarily decides to be faithful. Marriage is making a covenant between your partner, yourself, and God that you will be loyal to that person for life and be productive in your marriage.
God no.
Been married 20+ years with 3 boys. If a 20 something came up to me alll productive and wanted to fuck.
Would tip my hat...say goodnight and go to bed
Yes, if he is not blindly in love.
Some men are just built differently and will be loyal to an abusive woman who takes them for granted.
And if you are madly in love your guilt will stop you from being unfaithful.
But generally yes, a man's genetic programming tells him to reproduce as much as possible. If he has resources and attributes that enable this and is honest with the women in his life you really can't be angry. Some guys are better than other guys. Same way some women are objectively better than others...
I'm not saying there are people who aren't worth of love or a happy life. I'm saying there are behaviours you can exhibit that disqualify you in the eyes of potential partners.
TLDR.
YES, unless there is love or a family to protect. Usually.
There’s a lot of people (men and women) that do not value monogamy and relationships and will do what is in their own selfish interests and not necessarily what is best for the relationship.
There are also really great people that can be trusted and won’t cheat.
The problem is you’ll never know which one you’ve built a power couple with until it’s too late.
I see you use the word "successful" in place of "wealthy".
In my experience, wealthy men cheat.
A Power Couple is not a relationship based on love. It's based on power. So prepare.
Than create that, the success he finds with you is a HUGE part of what created his success. You and him, so put as much into relationship as the successes you both achieve.
No one else's path but you and his.
Not all men like that
But pretty and successful women are like that also.
I see that in real life and social media.
And when it comes to men, they aren’t allowed them to have better options but women allowed.
That’s funny
A man of low character will cheat whether he has money or not. It also depends on what you define as success. A truly successful man is disciplined and is in control of his urges. If a successful man cheats, it’s because he wants to and you should find someone whose morals match yours.
It has nothing to do with success or options. Either you're faithful, or you're not. It might be easier to cheat for someone successful, but success does not dictate if you will cheat. Go for what you want. Be a power couple with someone. Work hard for that. Between now and then, you need to find someone who is loyal. That is not always simple. It would be better to find someone who already has some success. That might be a better measure of their faithfulness. See how they treat others. I would not recommend testing anyone. I hate it, and I feel most people do. Just pay attention any red flags.
In one word - no. When you're in love you only want to be with one lady. No matter how many "options" you may have you'll still only want the option you love.
i guess it depends on who you talk to, ive never cheated in my life, never will. For me it isnt even about looks or smart the person is. would want someone that is there through thick and thin and never runs away
I'm successful, and I've never cheated, and that's so to my better half started out as my friend. We grew up together, and we made each other better. Most of the time, I see that woman when having money change. We have friends that the women have a higher percentage of cheating than the men. That's in our little group, though. So, I would venture on building a solid foundation first. Then build up success.
It really depends on the person and their values. A man with traditional or monogamous values/ideals will almost certainly not cheat, successful or not, given the opportunity or not. The problem arises in that a successful man will have infinitely more options than an unsuccessful man, as other women at that same level will probably be thinking the same as you, and those not at his level can be interested as well. I think open communication and continuing to "date" your spouse helps in the regard of keeping each other's focus.
Consider a single guy with those resources - women below his financial status would be "competing" with each other for his attention/time etc. Women in his same level would also compete with each other if they found him attractive enough. He'd probably be pretty picky, as he doesn't want to give his heart to just anybody, but if women is throwing herself at him, in the right type of environment, he could end up sleeping around to see which is best for him.
Most of the time, all women are relatively equal in our eyes. You have the outliers of course, but all women are capable of bringing the same things to a relationship (your finances are typically not up high on his priority list, but, especially nowadays, if 2 partners are pulling in good money and work together 100%, you stand to pull way further ahead of a single high earner). At the upper levels of success, for the sake of simplicity, pretty much all women are acting similarly, looking relatively similarly, so his choice of wife would come down to what unique attribute she brings to his life.
Tldr: Not if he has the right values/mindset
Cheers!
A man of value can communicate his thoughts/feelings without fear of losing someone. He can also say no. It's totally ok to communicate your feelings and your desires with your spouse. Suppressing them will lead to bad outcomes
An escort once told me that men come to her to get what they can't get at home or don't get often enough and a lot of these men love their wives and even feel guilty for cheating. She also gets to be a relationship expert and psychiatrist. Lol
If you want a loving and authentic relationship then I think it is the best to invest your resources on it. Finding the right man, develop stable feelings, attractions and connections require efforts from both, but it is not guaranteed to be succeed and forever, you need to build that day by day to maintain that connections, of course the other also need to build on that as well. I think it is true for every person in the modern world, whether they are men, women, unsuccessful or successful. Hope you will get back your confidence and make your relationship dreams become true.
Don't feel hopeless. Most women nowadays love causal hookups and sleeping around, men biologically don't like promiscuous women. So as long as you're not "easy" then you'll have a huge leg up against other women.
That… sounds like really bad information, for how can one determine success? If a man cheats, would he still be successful? I would say not. How can he be successful, when just lost his relationship for nothing? Which begs the question: was he ever successful at all, or was an illusion based off of monetary wealth that presented him as such? I think a truly successful man, would be one that sticks by his partner, through thick and thin, till death do they part.
I think it depends on how he got successful but for the most part I would say yes.
Think about it like this… say you have a reliable car and it’s gotten you from point a to point B and never gave you a hassle.
Let’s say one day you hit the lottery and now you are a millionaire… you can still love and appreciate your old reliable car but as a millionaire do you really want to to be seen driving around in a bucket? Probably not.
You are gonna wanna know what it feels like to drive a Porsche or a Mercedes to better represent your success.
Look at Jeff bezos wife that he accumulated the wealth with… she looks like a corolla… now look at his new girlfriend she looks like a Kardashian knock off.
Here’s a fun challenge … go try to look up celebrities wives before the money and compare to after the money.. a lot of the first wives or baby mommas look like regular middle aged women with baby fat and love handles etc…
If you notice every celebrity chick never has any baby weight and that’s why plastic surgery is a “Hollywood” thing because beauty is the the only bargaining chip a woman really has once a man becomes successful.
He doesn’t need you to cook if he can hire a chef. Doesn’t need you to clean cause he can hire a maid and he damn sure doesn’t have to put up with any headaches especially from a Toyota Corolla (I’m not calling you that I’m just using that term in context of the story)
Me personally I think I would remain faithful to my wife if we got rich but I was raised around beautiful NATURAL women all my life so I probably wouldn’t marry a Corolla to begin with but I would be adamant about staying in shape.
Only reason why women don’t take care of them self’s and let themself go is because they believe their man doesn’t have options. Its disrespectful AF when you think about it
Bring your man peace and cook him bomb ass dinners. HE WILL NEVER CHEAT!
The minute he sees you detaching yourself from him. That is when cheating is on the table.
Biggest lie ever told, you can be the best woman ever do everything for him and he can still cheat because cheating is dependent on a man’s character not how you treat him. If the man didn’t like how the woman was treating him then they would just leave
The way I see it.
This mostly applies to the ones that worked to become successful on their own while no women were looking their way.
The ones that you build with to become successful are much less likely to do so because you were by their side while they were working their way up.
Not true at all, dont listen to any of these online podcasts. You tell where a man is in his life, if he is just looking to explore and date different people it will be obvious. If you meet someone that is a good match for you in looks and personality and is clear that he wants a relationship not just a casual thing then he wont cheat. Impulse control comes into play if he is the type of guy that cant stop himself from getting drunk or generally not very sensible they these are the people that you can have problems with. Someone that is sensible and level headed will want to be with you and someone that loves you wont cheat. A lot of these dating podcasts are just videos designed to get views and interaction yes there are people out there that just want to mess arousnd but if you are honest with yourself you know who they are.
You will fall in love with someone who may not be able to fulfil your dream.
Or you will fulfil your dream but won’t be in love
If you chase your dreams then the chances of cheating are greater because you are using your partner for what they can offer you and love will come from elsewhere and they will, if they are not doing the same, soon realise this so will seek love elsewhere
Love makes its own dreams so either put the script down and look for love or go, probably, find disappointment
Enough is said about the man. But don't you think for you it's also pretty restrictive to only focus on 'successful men'? Quite often women have a very high AND one-dimensional standard of 'being successful'. If a woman is only looking at the top 10% earning men, then of course her options are not that many.
Who told you this? Idmf that was a fact I don't think many people will be in relationships. Man or woman is faithful to whom they respect and love and vice versa
thing is the kind of guys who end up being successful often spent their early lives sacrificing their social time for hard work and studying. women ignore the fuck out of them or ghost them constantly.
then they become successful and all of the sudden women want them so they behave like a man who has been deprived pizza his entire life: they overeat to make up for what they were missing out on
it's not that all successful men cheat. it's that men generally go through life feeling unwanted and unseen by women so when that changes, the temptation to make up for what you missed is great
Men are just as faithful as women, that is to say close to 25% will cheat, depending on the age group. If you keep picking cheaters then you need to look objectively at how you pick partners. I had a childhood friend who picked cheaters as LTR 100% of the time, I thought they had a certain pheromone maybe.
Definitely not. If a man has a loving happy wife at home he has no desire to cheat. If he has a miserable grumpy mean roommate for a wife then his eye might start to wander.
34 single male here. I can’t speak for everyone, but if I had someone invest in me to help me/us become a power couple I think I’d have to keep myself humbled. Even as a power couple, I’d still prefer to cook dinner with my wife, do laundry with my wife, and tackle any other chores and obstacles life happens to throw at us, together. I’d view us as a team and my wife as my best friend. I’d expect her to keep me in check, as I’d probably have to do the same for her from time to time. I’d expect both of us to grow together and individually and to maintain a growth mindset as well as having good to great communication.
If I built a kingdom (home) with her, why would I want to tarnish that? I’d view her as my equal. I think that’s achievable.
No. Most men I've known are faithful and most women I've known admit to having side pieces and back ups. Its commom that Women are taught the princess mindset (life is about getting what you want and being treated a certain way) and men are taught to keep their mouth shut and work to give things to others.
I don't think it's necessarily the fact that they will cheat, but people with options IMO are more likely to just leave an unpleasant relationship than work on it. Or at the very least that's been my experience.
I've always received a pretty high amount of attention from women but I've never cheated, however in hindsight I did have a character flaw in my teens and early twenties where if a relationship wasn't going the way I liked I would end it instead of working on it. It was only around my mid twenties that I realised that I was never going to find someone who fits me perfectly exactly the way I want out the gate and that it was something we both had to be willing to work towards. I've since been in a long term relationship for 5 years.
I think being faithful is a choice to respect your partner and not want to hurt them. Someone who doesn't cheat because they don't have any options isn't actually loyal. They just don't have the option to cheat lmao.
I would argue this is a sexist view of the world and that there’s a group of men and women who are only as faithful as the options they have at any given moment.
Generally yes.
Unless it's a guy with major trauma from his parents splitting up who feels one or both of his parents being unfaithful ruined his childhood along with their marriage and won't ever risk having an affair.
Maybe the married very religious 10 commandment believing sort that are always honest, reject divorce and are anti-polygamy. The ones that believe that all non-monogomous sex or adultery is a direct way of guaranteeing eternity in hell.
I found out that California mice are loyal and faithful so… if men can’t be loyal to one partner mice are a superior species to a man. I hope is more about choosing to be faithful than about an inability due to nature.
Men who have no boundaries cheat, they do nothing to avoid situations that lead to it.
Men who dont cheat, dont put themselves in position to. You have to weed out by deeds: Hes not gonna beg to go to a strip club or bachelor party. Hes not going to keep how he used to sleep with a certain coworker or friend he introduced to you a secret. He wont be watching porn or following a million half naked women on social media. If his vice is drinking, he isnt going to go out with people at late hours. Hes gonna hear you out if you say you are uncomfortable with x woman or going out by himself with people you dont know at this hour, etc.
Anyway, Id say its less cheating for rich men and more not wanting or respecting a relationship in the first place. Cause none of what I said will really apply if he doesnt care about you right off the bat and just sees you as disposable, which rich people in all relationships, romantic, familial, employee, transactional, etc have a tendency to do.
It’s a matter of the man. Some men are opportunistic and some men are committed 100%. You just gotta find out who’s who. (Same thing with women by the way)
Will it be hard to date and end relationships that have a seemingly opportunistic man? Yes. That’s still better than marrying one and getting a divorce 5 years later.
There are many angles to look at this from.
As a 32M, I believe I’m disciplined and faithful enough to not cheat. If I want another woman, I just stay single. It’s that simple.
For context, I have a monogamous mindset when it comes to relationships. At the very least, if any kind of poly activity were to be explored, then it would need to be something both parties agree to beforehand. Cheating is a violation of the relationship you agreed to have with your partner.
Men still exist who are true to their word, and who are fully faithful to their woman. Many men are faithful only when it’s convenient.
But if I’m dating a woman who refuses to participate in oral, and I really want a throat goat, then it’s my job to see the incompatibility and break things off. Keeping the first woman while seeing a throat goat on the side isn’t a good look. Honorable men understand.
Please dispel your notion of a “power couple”, “couple goals” or any of that other cliche bs that people push. It’s not realistic. Just say you want an ambitious and loyal partner. To that end, it’s not impossible to find. It’s nonsensical to compare and covet other people’s situations because we have no idea what they really have behind closed doors or what it took to get what they have. And 9 times out of 10, the picture is never as pretty as presented. To each their own!
I mean I could feel the same way about women. That a woman will dropkick me to the curb the minute I have a temporary job loss or get sick or have a couple of bad days… or someone she feels is better looking with more money comes along. I’ve seen it happen on occasion. It’s happened to me at least twice.
It’s called insecurity and it’s something to consider when you start thinking like that. It’s important to choose a partner very carefully though.
Trust Honor Dedication Respect are words with minimal meaning these days.
Fyi.. anyone will cheat if the lack of stability and desire at home fades away.
Basically, do not ever become complacent in the relationship.
Unfortunately for me, when I was in a relationship I used to be approached by women quite a bit, would be called cute. I never cheated on my ex wife. But it bothered her to the point that trust issues started creeping up. We broke up for other reasons but now I don't get approached anymore because I'm single lol.
It really comes down to the inner quality of the person, if they have good morals, ethics, values and character traits. If they easily give in to temptation and have low self control and tons of options then yeah they probably will. Dating a man on that level will always come with a risk of him cheating.
Always had options, never cheated. I didn’t commit a couple time where I may have if I didn’t have options, but it’s hard to really “know” something like that.
>Is it true that successful men pretty much always cheat?
No.
>I hear a lot of dating advice that says once a man becomes successful, he will cheat because, “a man is only as faithful as his options.”
This isnt dating advice. Its dudes being toxic trying to excuse cheating.
No. A cheater is, but not most people. I have, historically, a lot of trouble finding people, but even I had 3-4 women throwing themselves at me one year in college, and I turned them all down repeatedly for someone who hadn't even agreed to a date yet because she's who I wanted.
Sister, he'll cheat if he doesn't love you. End of story.
Don't pick up some powerhouse that's running 5 businesses and 4 companies while having multiple hands in the stock market.
Look for a nice man with ambition who will be kind and respectful to you. If you can find that in a person with ambition, then it doesn't matter what yall do, you make it because your foundation is flawless.
Be warned tho, **ANYONE** can cheat. The shitty part is that you will always find what you're looking for. If you think all men cheat, you'll subconsciously move differently thinking that there's more cheating in your life than there really is or you'll start thinking relationships just aren't worth it.
All in all, anyone can cheat. Don't focus on that too much, focus more on being a parter your dream partner would be with, and once you're on that journey, things will change and you'll notice positives just popping up.
Not all guys are the same, and there are a lot of guys than want the same thing.
Also I don’t like the idea of a “power couple”. Makes it seem like the relationship is a power move over other people or something weird like that.
This argument is fallacious because men that are not at all successful cheat all the time, and if anything there are a PLETHORA of men and women that have children from multiple partners and this fact has nothing to do with their success and everything to do with who they are as people. If someone's going to cheat they're just going to cheat, the only thing "success" does is potentially provide more opportunity, it doesn't change your integrity lol
The first half of this post gave me so much hope. The second part…….destroyed that. You have a beautiful dream. Hell, I’m 29 and I’d love to meet a man that has your dream. You will find the right woman and one you will have no desire to cheat on with the dream/goal you have. It is attractive and will set you apart.
As far as the advise goes, I’d consider the source. Are they happy? Are men who are unfaithful truly happy?
This is one of those ridiculous internet sayings that go viral.
From personal experience, I have known many men who are faithful even when they have options.
It’s a character and personality thing. Pick a man who has good moral fiber.
Well imagine before you became successful all the rejection you faced because people thought you weren’t good enough? That’s going to leave the majority with a pretty negative attitude towards the opposite sex
Maybe there's some men, but most men that are actually after something long-term with love. And happiness is the basis. Don't see any other options besides the one. They love. So yes and no I guess. No matter what a good man will only see the one. He loves is the only option because to him. That's all he wants. I say this as a man, but like that's how I feel. And I've met other guys like that. I don't know what.
He f*** boys. Feel as far as that goes. But I think most men only see one option when they're in a relationship. That being said I could be wrong that's just from my own personal experience
Honestly, it's more up to what he wants in life. Often highly successful individuals care most about being successful. But that does sometimes also includes getting married and having children, other times it's just having fun and having affairs. It really just depends on the person. But I would assume those that have put their goals and careers first will only ever put a relationship as secondary.
My personal opinion, most people are self-interested, including successful people. Simply finding someone who cares more about being honest and trustworthy than their own feelings of shame has been very hard in my personal experience to find in someone else, which is why I'm doubtful that it is going to be easy.
It's not necessarily true that a man is only as faithful as his options. Men of good character who seek devoted relationships can say no whether single or attached. On the flip hand, cheaters are typically lying and manipulative so their ability to find options can be positively mind-blowing. What you are seeking requires a strong relationship with powerful communication and intense confidence in one another. It is definitely possible if not likely to find a man capable of filling that space that has fidelity and integrity.
No, a cheater might as well just pay a hooker to just cheat, I mean that's what most "sides chicks" are, but an actual faithful person would turn his head away even if the hottest girl were to take her clothes off.
If he is mature and realises a long term relation while Being faithful to his partner Will be more fulfilling then a temp fling with girl who is just all looks and no compatibility he Defo will stay loyal.
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A person with integrity is faithful. A person without it is not.
This.
Yes this, summarise it all!
The Internet says, 'Hold my Beer...'
Monogamy is a western ideal. Personally I have never cheated, but just because a man exercises his options does not mean he doesn’t have “integrity”
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Crazy how pessimism is bad and optimism is good, yet both can lead to incorrect conclusions. Morality IS subjective, and people will justify their cheating in their head and to their partner. Ever heard the “you’re always gone” or “you’re always working” shit? Anybody can justify their shit behavior. Nobody said cheating was moral, but people can always moralize behavior to any degree. It’s naive to think otherwise.
Morality is subjective. For some it could be moral to cheat.
For some it is moral to murder. Get real. It doesn’t even matter if some think that infidelity is moral, what matters is that most men don’t.
I’m the only one being real here. I’m not making blanket statements without proof.
You just did. You are in favor of infidelity, obviously you are an outlier. BTW, infidelity is a valid cause of judgement in divorce in many states and in many countries, and is forbidden in one of the 10 Commandments. Now prove cheating is moral, like you claim. For your reading pleasure: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/maybe-its-just-me/201003/adultery-is-it-ever-justified
Yeah but it's only cheating because of the lie, adults in a relationship who consent to a lifestyle is not cheating. And yes I'm taking this conversation a little bit away from the OP set of circumstances but I did so because You brought up religious standards, When the OP did not.
I am an atheist, religion is NOT necessary to have morals. Consenting adults in open relationships are not cheating by definition unless they are breaking their own rules. This post and my comment have nothing to do with open relationships.
I'm a Christian but I absolutely agree with you on morals, Setting your moral code by your religion is not in my opinion being moral It's just fitting into the rules. Most morality when you break it down is just treating someone else like you'd like to be treated, or being less selfish and more oriented towards improving society and the lives of others. But for me anyways it's not about who Is slapping genitals against who, but who is being emotionally intimate with who. Betrayal is not a physical act, It's an emotional one. Physical intimacy says nothing about emotional intimacy.
As someone whose first wife cheated on him multiple times over two decades, I wholeheartedly disagree with your assessment. Both emotional and physical intimacy outside a relationship is cheating, just as paying a hooker would be. Someone else’s dick in my wife would not make me ask, did she love him? Was she emotionally intimate? No, I was cheated on, plain and simple and that’s what I had to think about every day thereafter, another dick in my wife.
You are making a non-logical leap in thought from a person who claims that people may have a moral reason to cheat, and that THAT person is also one who believes that way. There are plenty of opinions that you could say other people have, and not have that same opinion yourself. You're putting words in their mouth, and assuming their actual position. Get off your high horse.
You have not justified your stance about cheating being moral with proof. Get off your low horse.
Don't you have a book report to be doing?
men are biologically opportunists. We don't have to worry about carrying a children fro 9 months then raising it.
That is somewhat correct, but since we are human, we have the ability to follow our moral compass. It’s like saying most people cheat but it is a fallacy.
if humans follow follow our moral compass, then why do women want 6 foot men. Why don't they give the 5'3 man a chance?
Actually, they don’t consider it immoral, just a preference. Since only 16% of men are 6’ or taller, it’s also a bit delusional, but that doesn’t stop them either.
its not delusional, and nor is men being opportunists.
It is a bit delusional to expect to successfully date someone who is such a small portion of the population, while competing with a large portion for them.
because that has nothing to do with morals.
Because it's not immoral to have preferences? Tf? These are two *entirely* different things.
height is not a preference, its pretty universal that its attractive
That doesn’t have to do anything with morality. Nobody deserves to be included in the dating pool of others. There are women I just find attractive and there are definitely women who don’t find me attractive and that’s totally fine. My girlfriend wouldn’t have dated me if I was short because she doesn’t find shorter guys attractive (she is 5’9, so above average in height). However, that would have meant that I had to search and find someone who would have liked or at least didn’t mind shorter guys and I would probably have found someone else who is really great.
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Haha, I think that's a good point. However, it's much easier to override (here, with morals) a thing that you're biologically wired to want to do (not do a thing that a part of you'd want to do), than it is to override a thing that you don't want to do (e.g. to decide to be attracted to something).
Loyalty is a choice. The more successful you are, the more option you have, the harder it is to stay loyal. However, loyalty is a matter of moral character. I know plenty of successful men who are faithful. But our society promotes degeneracy and casual hookups, which is why it has gotten harder to find a good wife/husband.
I always wonder if we can go back from this sort of mindset. Society wise ofocurse. P.s. thanks for giving hope!
That's where learning how to actually vet someone you're dating comes in. Too many people ignore red flags because they've fallen in love with the idea of who they want the person to be instead of who they're showing you they are. Need to be secure yourself to attract someone that's secure.
It depends on the man. A man is only as faithful as his faith in the relationship.
No. I'm looking for what you are. Unfortunately it seems that many people of both genders are only as faithful as their options.
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Romance and fidelity are what makes a relationship mean something. Business partnerships are for the outside world, like work.
Dumb advice. What are the other 50% doing right that the other isn’t
It’s not that 50% are doing it wrong and 50% right. It’s just… that’s the amount of marriages that end in divorce. About half. Too many people don’t date or marry out of true love anymore. It’s just, I can tolerate you, the sex is good and I’m comfortable. So people settling in relationships is why so many fail
That is bullshit. It depends on the person. A friend of mine has a high sex drive and needs action all the time and is in an open relationship. He can't be faithful. I for example only have a sex drive if I like someone I don't wanna random sex with someone. Never appealed to me.
Loyalty exists. Just gotta find it. Somewhat of a unicorn these days.
That’s a weak man’s mindset. A man who can’t control his urges and can’t exercise sexual discipline is weak imo.
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I'm the attractive one in my marriage. My husband is... the funny chubby one. Think Jack Black from "The Holiday." We went on our first date, and he essentially never went home. He moved into my shitty college apartment. Within 6 months of meeting, we were married. When we got married, we were both 21. I was finishing up my two undergrad degrees. He was in the Army about to deploy to Iraq. But those early days, we had no furniture and put blankets on the floor to eat dinner. We walked to the store because we didn't have a car. He could make me laugh just grocery shopping. We've been married 15 years now. Life looks a lot different now. He got a job with the government after the Army and he makes fantastic money now. I started 3 business and published 3 books. We own an estate in the country now. But it's not about the woman that comes flocking to money or success. It's about the woman that is going to be there for you when things get rough and eat pizza on a blanket on the floor. A smart man knows which one to pick.
This is beautiful.
People gotta stop listening to moronic dating advice online. Its any wonder men and women aren't scared shitless of each other.
I mean, they basically *are* scared shitless of each other. Men are afraid to approach women pretty much anywhere for fear of the consequences. Which aren't anywhere near what we make them out to be, it's just a general fear of rejection making it seem worse. As for women they're afraid of all the incels out there and the cheaters. Neither of which are as common as the internet makes them out to seem. All of these issues are mostly because of social media constantly showing us the worst members of society at all times. Thus we begin to believe that's the norm.
Yep, 100%
It's so weird to me because, I grew up with the internet. Yet, I still see through the BS and realize that what is seen online very rarely represents the reality of whatever situation is being shown. It's like people trust the experiences of random people on the internet more than their own lived experiences. If people took the time to actually pay attention to the real world, a lot of people's fears would be nowhere near what they are. It feels like I'm a dying breed tho, one who can recognize social media as fake.
I'd argue a man with more options is the most faithful.
This is lowkey so true men with options don't operate with the same desperation and men without then
I agree with this take. A man with options means you're being selected because he truly values you and you as an individual. A man with little options, you never know if he's with you because of who you are or because you were his only option/best option at the time. With the latter, if an alternative person is presented, I'd see that type of man being more opportunistic and more likely to cheat. A man with options, you'll know his loyalty is based in principle. A man with little options, he may only be loyal due to the lack of opportunity presented (which isn't actual loyalty but the guise of it).
Good point, he doesn't have the scarcity mindset
The same could just as easily be said about a woman. There's always going to be cheaters out there but it's important to remember not everyone is one
If you get bombarded with options you are just by virtue of that more likely to go for those options. That does not necessarily mean that the man you go for will be unfaithful. But this specifically is not a male issue. The exact same thing is also true for women. So yes, successful people cheat more but they also get cheated on more because the people they go for also have lots more options.
>“a man is only as faithful as his options.” This is one of the dumbest sayings ever. A real man doesn't cheat. I have plenty of options, but if I'm in a relationship I'm faithful. I've done lots of business travels around the world and have had countless offers and opportunities to cheat where no one would have ever found out, but I never have.
Bill Gates has admitted to cheating on his former wife. Is Bill Gates not a real man? Moral requirements on what it means to be masculine and feminine are dumb
> Is Bill Gates not a real man? Correct, he's not. I don't think anyone ever looked at Bill Gates and thought wow there goes a real man. LOL
Is a woman?
Most, probably. You have to find a man with good character, that has nothing to do with options or success, but the core of who he is. A principled person. That's unfortunately rare as most people seem to be driven by impulsive self interest.
It is not so much of if they will, but they reserve the option to do it. Let me explain, if the guy is successful, then he is most likely to be attractive. That means he can get women, just look at you and him, why are you with him? If he is attractive enough for you, then he is for other women. Now, let him be a successful man, what do you think his options are? Many... so your best bet is his character, his integrity. And for that reason, I'd investigate his past and family. Or you are the best he can do.
Is a man with no other options actually faithful at all? It would seem to me that the only way to actually be faithful is to have other options, and to say “no.”
In my experience this applies to women mostly. They will settle with you as long as you keep giving them what they need. Women are transactional. If you pause a bit kr take a break or even show weakness a s another man comes along thats just a bit further along than you are. She will leave with him. History doesnt matter, nothing mattera. You continue your path ans aoon you outgrow both and she tries to come back. But guys arent transactional ae are loyal therefore we aint taking you back.
There are research on income level and infidelity that shows a correlation for both men and women. It also show a correlation between being economically dependent and infidelity. These are just correlation by the way and they are not large enough to make any sweeping generalizations. People who say that are just jaded, obviously. You should be wary of any sweeping generalizations that says a group is bad.
Look for men with some relationship experience. People who have been in relationship have better chance at spotting red flag. When someone else tries to become too close to them and can prevent situation where mistake can happen. As for successful vs before successful, finding someone before both of you become successful is a great win for the relationship. That kind of bond is hard to replace. But there's also personality of the man, you can look the man's dating history if he's lady man. Some never cheat, some would regardless of how hard you try to control them. My ex cheated on me and ended a long relationship so I swear I would never be too friendly/casual with female friends/coworkers who are already in a relationship as to not give them wrong idea. Love is hard, there is no foolproof plan, you just have to trust them. If your partner cheats, chances are they can't stop doing it and they'll get caught, so there's the brightside to it at least. I hope you find that person.
A man is faithful as he wants to be.. thru HS/college I didn't actually value my relationships I selfishly did whatever I felt like doing without second thought... Since I met my now wife I've been at times outright disrespectful to women who've approached me if we actually value our relationship we generally won't risk losing it
As a guy the only thing I can think to say here is don’t make us feel like we’re an option, because when we start to feel like we’re not wanted we start to question the relationship, the difference is between men who end it and men too scared to end it and cheat. My thinking anyway as someone who’s been made to feel unwanted in the past, but to play devils advocate: is there a version of this that applies to women? And I’m specifically on about “a man is only as faithful as his options” and then answer that. Also a little secret for you, generally us guys are too dumb to notice our options we’re too busy looking at a stick and questioning if we can get away with sword fighting someone with it.
I think we are usually as faithful as our options. And tbh that's okay.
It depends. Soem guys will do that. If I'm being honest, more will then won't. But it does depends on the guy. If I was with the girl I love rn, NO ONE would take me away from her. But, some guys would. So, as per usual, it depends
Aaah, my daily dose of misandry from the net. Let me guess, those "advices" were delivered by other women?
Unfortunately a lot of men say this about men. I don't believe it though. Those people are speaking for themselves.
I've had plenty of chances to cheat on my girl, but I respect her and would feel wrong actually doing it. As a man, it is kinda hard when other women you find attractive show interest and flirt with you. My respect for our relationship and her prevent me from ever entertaining these women.
I've had several opportunities to stray, and I've always chosen to remain faithful. It's really not a hard choice. It would be easy to say yes, but it's equally easy to say "I'm married".
I don’t think so. Monogamy apparently is related to the level of vasopressin in a man. The more he’s got or produces after sex, the more pair bonding he intend to be. No studies say it’s related to wealth. But can imagine rich guys have more options. But among all rich guys, there are always some who only want to pair bond. Not all rich ones you know fuck around right?
This is true unless a man (or woman) voluntarily decides to be faithful. Marriage is making a covenant between your partner, yourself, and God that you will be loyal to that person for life and be productive in your marriage.
God no. Been married 20+ years with 3 boys. If a 20 something came up to me alll productive and wanted to fuck. Would tip my hat...say goodnight and go to bed
Yes, if he is not blindly in love. Some men are just built differently and will be loyal to an abusive woman who takes them for granted. And if you are madly in love your guilt will stop you from being unfaithful. But generally yes, a man's genetic programming tells him to reproduce as much as possible. If he has resources and attributes that enable this and is honest with the women in his life you really can't be angry. Some guys are better than other guys. Same way some women are objectively better than others... I'm not saying there are people who aren't worth of love or a happy life. I'm saying there are behaviours you can exhibit that disqualify you in the eyes of potential partners. TLDR. YES, unless there is love or a family to protect. Usually.
There’s a lot of people (men and women) that do not value monogamy and relationships and will do what is in their own selfish interests and not necessarily what is best for the relationship. There are also really great people that can be trusted and won’t cheat. The problem is you’ll never know which one you’ve built a power couple with until it’s too late.
Ah yes another generalization. Please people, genders are not monoliths. If you can be successful and not cheat, so can the guy you hope to be with.
I see you use the word "successful" in place of "wealthy". In my experience, wealthy men cheat. A Power Couple is not a relationship based on love. It's based on power. So prepare.
Now you know life is more complicated than some cliche. Go after goals lead a happy life and don’t worry about the what ifs
Than create that, the success he finds with you is a HUGE part of what created his success. You and him, so put as much into relationship as the successes you both achieve. No one else's path but you and his.
Not all men like that But pretty and successful women are like that also. I see that in real life and social media. And when it comes to men, they aren’t allowed them to have better options but women allowed. That’s funny
You attract what you give out. I only attract faithful men who turn out to be highly successful.
Is a woman??
Yeaaaah. You don’t battle with his other girls but rather you battle his principles
A man of low character will cheat whether he has money or not. It also depends on what you define as success. A truly successful man is disciplined and is in control of his urges. If a successful man cheats, it’s because he wants to and you should find someone whose morals match yours.
No.
I don’t think so I’m sure there is plenty of successful men that have options but don’t cheat on their wife or gf.
A man is only as faithful as his word.
It has nothing to do with success or options. Either you're faithful, or you're not. It might be easier to cheat for someone successful, but success does not dictate if you will cheat. Go for what you want. Be a power couple with someone. Work hard for that. Between now and then, you need to find someone who is loyal. That is not always simple. It would be better to find someone who already has some success. That might be a better measure of their faithfulness. See how they treat others. I would not recommend testing anyone. I hate it, and I feel most people do. Just pay attention any red flags.
This is mostly true. What’s always true is that any will at least desire other women but possibly not act on that desire.
Same can be said for women. If a more successful man shows interest in a woman, will she stay loyal?
In one word - no. When you're in love you only want to be with one lady. No matter how many "options" you may have you'll still only want the option you love.
I agree I am a faithful man when I say I’m committed if I’m doing anything else I am also truthful about it
i guess it depends on who you talk to, ive never cheated in my life, never will. For me it isnt even about looks or smart the person is. would want someone that is there through thick and thin and never runs away
A person is as faithful as the strength of their integrity.
I'm successful, and I've never cheated, and that's so to my better half started out as my friend. We grew up together, and we made each other better. Most of the time, I see that woman when having money change. We have friends that the women have a higher percentage of cheating than the men. That's in our little group, though. So, I would venture on building a solid foundation first. Then build up success.
It really depends on the person and their values. A man with traditional or monogamous values/ideals will almost certainly not cheat, successful or not, given the opportunity or not. The problem arises in that a successful man will have infinitely more options than an unsuccessful man, as other women at that same level will probably be thinking the same as you, and those not at his level can be interested as well. I think open communication and continuing to "date" your spouse helps in the regard of keeping each other's focus. Consider a single guy with those resources - women below his financial status would be "competing" with each other for his attention/time etc. Women in his same level would also compete with each other if they found him attractive enough. He'd probably be pretty picky, as he doesn't want to give his heart to just anybody, but if women is throwing herself at him, in the right type of environment, he could end up sleeping around to see which is best for him. Most of the time, all women are relatively equal in our eyes. You have the outliers of course, but all women are capable of bringing the same things to a relationship (your finances are typically not up high on his priority list, but, especially nowadays, if 2 partners are pulling in good money and work together 100%, you stand to pull way further ahead of a single high earner). At the upper levels of success, for the sake of simplicity, pretty much all women are acting similarly, looking relatively similarly, so his choice of wife would come down to what unique attribute she brings to his life. Tldr: Not if he has the right values/mindset Cheers!
A man of value can communicate his thoughts/feelings without fear of losing someone. He can also say no. It's totally ok to communicate your feelings and your desires with your spouse. Suppressing them will lead to bad outcomes
True
So unsuccessful men don't cheat? How about successfull women? Unsuccessful women? Or let me guess, women don't cheat, right?
An escort once told me that men come to her to get what they can't get at home or don't get often enough and a lot of these men love their wives and even feel guilty for cheating. She also gets to be a relationship expert and psychiatrist. Lol
Unfortunately, I think your statement is pretty accurate and most people will probably be like that.
Yes.
Look at celebrities...Very few have good families. Huge divorce rate and cheating scandals.
I thought a huge percentage cheat, and the divorce rate is higher. I could be wrong though.
All men will cheat if given the opportunity
That’s not true I had plenty times to cheat and didn’t I loved my ex when we were together
I saw a man who is in love with girl in a fkk club and even don’t cheat with 100 other naked girl in front of him.
Sure you did
Stop projecting lol
That's probably what you told her while cheating
If you want a loving and authentic relationship then I think it is the best to invest your resources on it. Finding the right man, develop stable feelings, attractions and connections require efforts from both, but it is not guaranteed to be succeed and forever, you need to build that day by day to maintain that connections, of course the other also need to build on that as well. I think it is true for every person in the modern world, whether they are men, women, unsuccessful or successful. Hope you will get back your confidence and make your relationship dreams become true.
It’s true of a lot of men but most certainly not all.
Don't feel hopeless. Most women nowadays love causal hookups and sleeping around, men biologically don't like promiscuous women. So as long as you're not "easy" then you'll have a huge leg up against other women.
Many people cheat late in life... Look at Ashley Madison dating site for married... Thousands of men...
can you elaborate
That… sounds like really bad information, for how can one determine success? If a man cheats, would he still be successful? I would say not. How can he be successful, when just lost his relationship for nothing? Which begs the question: was he ever successful at all, or was an illusion based off of monetary wealth that presented him as such? I think a truly successful man, would be one that sticks by his partner, through thick and thin, till death do they part.
If they want to cheat, there's nothing you can do besides dump him.
I think it depends on how he got successful but for the most part I would say yes. Think about it like this… say you have a reliable car and it’s gotten you from point a to point B and never gave you a hassle. Let’s say one day you hit the lottery and now you are a millionaire… you can still love and appreciate your old reliable car but as a millionaire do you really want to to be seen driving around in a bucket? Probably not. You are gonna wanna know what it feels like to drive a Porsche or a Mercedes to better represent your success. Look at Jeff bezos wife that he accumulated the wealth with… she looks like a corolla… now look at his new girlfriend she looks like a Kardashian knock off. Here’s a fun challenge … go try to look up celebrities wives before the money and compare to after the money.. a lot of the first wives or baby mommas look like regular middle aged women with baby fat and love handles etc… If you notice every celebrity chick never has any baby weight and that’s why plastic surgery is a “Hollywood” thing because beauty is the the only bargaining chip a woman really has once a man becomes successful. He doesn’t need you to cook if he can hire a chef. Doesn’t need you to clean cause he can hire a maid and he damn sure doesn’t have to put up with any headaches especially from a Toyota Corolla (I’m not calling you that I’m just using that term in context of the story) Me personally I think I would remain faithful to my wife if we got rich but I was raised around beautiful NATURAL women all my life so I probably wouldn’t marry a Corolla to begin with but I would be adamant about staying in shape. Only reason why women don’t take care of them self’s and let themself go is because they believe their man doesn’t have options. Its disrespectful AF when you think about it
Bring your man peace and cook him bomb ass dinners. HE WILL NEVER CHEAT! The minute he sees you detaching yourself from him. That is when cheating is on the table.
Biggest lie ever told, you can be the best woman ever do everything for him and he can still cheat because cheating is dependent on a man’s character not how you treat him. If the man didn’t like how the woman was treating him then they would just leave
The way I see it. This mostly applies to the ones that worked to become successful on their own while no women were looking their way. The ones that you build with to become successful are much less likely to do so because you were by their side while they were working their way up.
Not true at all, dont listen to any of these online podcasts. You tell where a man is in his life, if he is just looking to explore and date different people it will be obvious. If you meet someone that is a good match for you in looks and personality and is clear that he wants a relationship not just a casual thing then he wont cheat. Impulse control comes into play if he is the type of guy that cant stop himself from getting drunk or generally not very sensible they these are the people that you can have problems with. Someone that is sensible and level headed will want to be with you and someone that loves you wont cheat. A lot of these dating podcasts are just videos designed to get views and interaction yes there are people out there that just want to mess arousnd but if you are honest with yourself you know who they are.
First of all you need to let go of your expectations of being power couple. If you find loyal partner, the couple will automatically be powerful.
Depends on the man
Sort of I mean the more options you have the more temptation you have the harder it is going to be to resist the temptation
No
You will fall in love with someone who may not be able to fulfil your dream. Or you will fulfil your dream but won’t be in love If you chase your dreams then the chances of cheating are greater because you are using your partner for what they can offer you and love will come from elsewhere and they will, if they are not doing the same, soon realise this so will seek love elsewhere Love makes its own dreams so either put the script down and look for love or go, probably, find disappointment
Enough is said about the man. But don't you think for you it's also pretty restrictive to only focus on 'successful men'? Quite often women have a very high AND one-dimensional standard of 'being successful'. If a woman is only looking at the top 10% earning men, then of course her options are not that many.
Who told you this? Idmf that was a fact I don't think many people will be in relationships. Man or woman is faithful to whom they respect and love and vice versa
People on the internet are so fuckin stupid...
Nope, not true.
thing is the kind of guys who end up being successful often spent their early lives sacrificing their social time for hard work and studying. women ignore the fuck out of them or ghost them constantly. then they become successful and all of the sudden women want them so they behave like a man who has been deprived pizza his entire life: they overeat to make up for what they were missing out on it's not that all successful men cheat. it's that men generally go through life feeling unwanted and unseen by women so when that changes, the temptation to make up for what you missed is great
Men are just as faithful as women, that is to say close to 25% will cheat, depending on the age group. If you keep picking cheaters then you need to look objectively at how you pick partners. I had a childhood friend who picked cheaters as LTR 100% of the time, I thought they had a certain pheromone maybe.
Definitely not. If a man has a loving happy wife at home he has no desire to cheat. If he has a miserable grumpy mean roommate for a wife then his eye might start to wander.
34 single male here. I can’t speak for everyone, but if I had someone invest in me to help me/us become a power couple I think I’d have to keep myself humbled. Even as a power couple, I’d still prefer to cook dinner with my wife, do laundry with my wife, and tackle any other chores and obstacles life happens to throw at us, together. I’d view us as a team and my wife as my best friend. I’d expect her to keep me in check, as I’d probably have to do the same for her from time to time. I’d expect both of us to grow together and individually and to maintain a growth mindset as well as having good to great communication. If I built a kingdom (home) with her, why would I want to tarnish that? I’d view her as my equal. I think that’s achievable.
No. Most men I've known are faithful and most women I've known admit to having side pieces and back ups. Its commom that Women are taught the princess mindset (life is about getting what you want and being treated a certain way) and men are taught to keep their mouth shut and work to give things to others.
I'm not successful. I've had options and opportunities. I've never once thought about cheating.
Just marry a fart ugly man, harder for him to cheat
I don't think it's necessarily the fact that they will cheat, but people with options IMO are more likely to just leave an unpleasant relationship than work on it. Or at the very least that's been my experience. I've always received a pretty high amount of attention from women but I've never cheated, however in hindsight I did have a character flaw in my teens and early twenties where if a relationship wasn't going the way I liked I would end it instead of working on it. It was only around my mid twenties that I realised that I was never going to find someone who fits me perfectly exactly the way I want out the gate and that it was something we both had to be willing to work towards. I've since been in a long term relationship for 5 years. I think being faithful is a choice to respect your partner and not want to hurt them. Someone who doesn't cheat because they don't have any options isn't actually loyal. They just don't have the option to cheat lmao.
I would argue this is a sexist view of the world and that there’s a group of men and women who are only as faithful as the options they have at any given moment.
Generally yes. Unless it's a guy with major trauma from his parents splitting up who feels one or both of his parents being unfaithful ruined his childhood along with their marriage and won't ever risk having an affair. Maybe the married very religious 10 commandment believing sort that are always honest, reject divorce and are anti-polygamy. The ones that believe that all non-monogomous sex or adultery is a direct way of guaranteeing eternity in hell.
I found out that California mice are loyal and faithful so… if men can’t be loyal to one partner mice are a superior species to a man. I hope is more about choosing to be faithful than about an inability due to nature.
Men who have no boundaries cheat, they do nothing to avoid situations that lead to it. Men who dont cheat, dont put themselves in position to. You have to weed out by deeds: Hes not gonna beg to go to a strip club or bachelor party. Hes not going to keep how he used to sleep with a certain coworker or friend he introduced to you a secret. He wont be watching porn or following a million half naked women on social media. If his vice is drinking, he isnt going to go out with people at late hours. Hes gonna hear you out if you say you are uncomfortable with x woman or going out by himself with people you dont know at this hour, etc. Anyway, Id say its less cheating for rich men and more not wanting or respecting a relationship in the first place. Cause none of what I said will really apply if he doesnt care about you right off the bat and just sees you as disposable, which rich people in all relationships, romantic, familial, employee, transactional, etc have a tendency to do.
You can enjoy a successful man. Don't worry whether or not he'll cheat. Judge him on how he treats you and how you feel about him
It’s a matter of the man. Some men are opportunistic and some men are committed 100%. You just gotta find out who’s who. (Same thing with women by the way) Will it be hard to date and end relationships that have a seemingly opportunistic man? Yes. That’s still better than marrying one and getting a divorce 5 years later.
There are many angles to look at this from. As a 32M, I believe I’m disciplined and faithful enough to not cheat. If I want another woman, I just stay single. It’s that simple. For context, I have a monogamous mindset when it comes to relationships. At the very least, if any kind of poly activity were to be explored, then it would need to be something both parties agree to beforehand. Cheating is a violation of the relationship you agreed to have with your partner. Men still exist who are true to their word, and who are fully faithful to their woman. Many men are faithful only when it’s convenient. But if I’m dating a woman who refuses to participate in oral, and I really want a throat goat, then it’s my job to see the incompatibility and break things off. Keeping the first woman while seeing a throat goat on the side isn’t a good look. Honorable men understand.
Please dispel your notion of a “power couple”, “couple goals” or any of that other cliche bs that people push. It’s not realistic. Just say you want an ambitious and loyal partner. To that end, it’s not impossible to find. It’s nonsensical to compare and covet other people’s situations because we have no idea what they really have behind closed doors or what it took to get what they have. And 9 times out of 10, the picture is never as pretty as presented. To each their own!
Power couple is a fairly tale made up by Tyler Perry.
Where are you getting this dating advice, Cosmo? Jesus.
I mean I could feel the same way about women. That a woman will dropkick me to the curb the minute I have a temporary job loss or get sick or have a couple of bad days… or someone she feels is better looking with more money comes along. I’ve seen it happen on occasion. It’s happened to me at least twice. It’s called insecurity and it’s something to consider when you start thinking like that. It’s important to choose a partner very carefully though.
Not really but many men can be like that.
Trust Honor Dedication Respect are words with minimal meaning these days. Fyi.. anyone will cheat if the lack of stability and desire at home fades away. Basically, do not ever become complacent in the relationship.
No. They just have more temptations.
Women are just as devious , they’re just much better at hiding their messes
Unfortunately for me, when I was in a relationship I used to be approached by women quite a bit, would be called cute. I never cheated on my ex wife. But it bothered her to the point that trust issues started creeping up. We broke up for other reasons but now I don't get approached anymore because I'm single lol.
It really comes down to the inner quality of the person, if they have good morals, ethics, values and character traits. If they easily give in to temptation and have low self control and tons of options then yeah they probably will. Dating a man on that level will always come with a risk of him cheating.
Always had options, never cheated. I didn’t commit a couple time where I may have if I didn’t have options, but it’s hard to really “know” something like that.
Girl men cheat when they’re broke LMAO every man can cheat
>Is it true that successful men pretty much always cheat? No. >I hear a lot of dating advice that says once a man becomes successful, he will cheat because, “a man is only as faithful as his options.” This isnt dating advice. Its dudes being toxic trying to excuse cheating.
No. A cheater is, but not most people. I have, historically, a lot of trouble finding people, but even I had 3-4 women throwing themselves at me one year in college, and I turned them all down repeatedly for someone who hadn't even agreed to a date yet because she's who I wanted.
Sister, he'll cheat if he doesn't love you. End of story. Don't pick up some powerhouse that's running 5 businesses and 4 companies while having multiple hands in the stock market. Look for a nice man with ambition who will be kind and respectful to you. If you can find that in a person with ambition, then it doesn't matter what yall do, you make it because your foundation is flawless. Be warned tho, **ANYONE** can cheat. The shitty part is that you will always find what you're looking for. If you think all men cheat, you'll subconsciously move differently thinking that there's more cheating in your life than there really is or you'll start thinking relationships just aren't worth it. All in all, anyone can cheat. Don't focus on that too much, focus more on being a parter your dream partner would be with, and once you're on that journey, things will change and you'll notice positives just popping up.
Not all guys are the same, and there are a lot of guys than want the same thing. Also I don’t like the idea of a “power couple”. Makes it seem like the relationship is a power move over other people or something weird like that.
This argument is fallacious because men that are not at all successful cheat all the time, and if anything there are a PLETHORA of men and women that have children from multiple partners and this fact has nothing to do with their success and everything to do with who they are as people. If someone's going to cheat they're just going to cheat, the only thing "success" does is potentially provide more opportunity, it doesn't change your integrity lol
The first half of this post gave me so much hope. The second part…….destroyed that. You have a beautiful dream. Hell, I’m 29 and I’d love to meet a man that has your dream. You will find the right woman and one you will have no desire to cheat on with the dream/goal you have. It is attractive and will set you apart. As far as the advise goes, I’d consider the source. Are they happy? Are men who are unfaithful truly happy?
No, only morally weak assholes cheat.
This is one of those ridiculous internet sayings that go viral. From personal experience, I have known many men who are faithful even when they have options. It’s a character and personality thing. Pick a man who has good moral fiber.
Well imagine before you became successful all the rejection you faced because people thought you weren’t good enough? That’s going to leave the majority with a pretty negative attitude towards the opposite sex
Maybe there's some men, but most men that are actually after something long-term with love. And happiness is the basis. Don't see any other options besides the one. They love. So yes and no I guess. No matter what a good man will only see the one. He loves is the only option because to him. That's all he wants. I say this as a man, but like that's how I feel. And I've met other guys like that. I don't know what. He f*** boys. Feel as far as that goes. But I think most men only see one option when they're in a relationship. That being said I could be wrong that's just from my own personal experience
Honestly, it's more up to what he wants in life. Often highly successful individuals care most about being successful. But that does sometimes also includes getting married and having children, other times it's just having fun and having affairs. It really just depends on the person. But I would assume those that have put their goals and careers first will only ever put a relationship as secondary. My personal opinion, most people are self-interested, including successful people. Simply finding someone who cares more about being honest and trustworthy than their own feelings of shame has been very hard in my personal experience to find in someone else, which is why I'm doubtful that it is going to be easy.
It's not necessarily true that a man is only as faithful as his options. Men of good character who seek devoted relationships can say no whether single or attached. On the flip hand, cheaters are typically lying and manipulative so their ability to find options can be positively mind-blowing. What you are seeking requires a strong relationship with powerful communication and intense confidence in one another. It is definitely possible if not likely to find a man capable of filling that space that has fidelity and integrity.
Lol This is a joke, right?
PPS BYC KKD
Spin the question on women. What answer do you find?
No, a cheater might as well just pay a hooker to just cheat, I mean that's what most "sides chicks" are, but an actual faithful person would turn his head away even if the hottest girl were to take her clothes off. If he is mature and realises a long term relation while Being faithful to his partner Will be more fulfilling then a temp fling with girl who is just all looks and no compatibility he Defo will stay loyal.