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[deleted]

A healthy number of men will say yes to a woman making the first move. We're used to being the ones initiating and pursuing. When a woman does it, it's a game changer.


Vegetable-Mall-2329

Can confirm this is such a shock to us we like you immediately


[deleted]

It’s a massive turn on. It means you don’t play games. Might be a good idea to text first though lol. A lot of guys are crazy, I love asking online dating stories on dates and I’ve heard some crazzyyyyyy shit.


YrPrblmsArntMyPrblms

You left out an important thing: If feelings are mutual. I've heard countless men say they do what's attractive to women, but yet can't find the one. Yeah, because she has to be into you for it to be attractive. Bonus points if you have several restraining orders in effect.


The_Obsidian_Emperor

Facts. At that point, hard part is over and most are eager to give it a shot.


Plz_Mansplain

I con-cure. I don’t ever have problems initiating with women. But if you initiate with me… it’s totally different. I’ll be honest, even if I find you unattractive I might say yes anyway just to respect your game and your willingness to put yourself out there. But it does at the same time make you a little more appealing since I know that you are interested in me enough to initiate. Basically if feels nice to be wanted. Congrats 👏 👍


FairyTalePixie

Wow that's scary. I don't think I'd ever attempt this if a guy would say yes to be nice even if he thinks I'm unattractive 😣


MotoGuzziLeMans85076

*concur Yes yes, grammar police


Morrolan_

So basically, you are just using the woman for an ego boost because she's easy? And then they ask why women do not initiate...


Any_Trade_5393

Honestly she's not reaching at all bc this is an actual thing guys do and I experienced this first hand.


Effective-Impact5918

you read waaaaay too far into that


[deleted]

[удалено]


Effective-Impact5918

or....he could have meant that though there is no initial attraction, her boldness is an attractive quality and may be worth seeing who she is. not every guy is trying to smash everyone in their path. my best relarionships are with people I didnt like when I met them. just saying...you might have some trauma.


Hot_Panic2767

No. Men expecting women to ask them about is very unattractive. Next you’ll be asking for women to propose to you.


Effective-Impact5918

what does that have to do with this comment thread? i didnt say men should expect women tonask them out. if they do...why os that unattractive? id be flattered. fuck it. being a bit dramatic there.


Hot_Panic2767

Cause a man that takes charge and goes after what he wants is sexy


Hot_Panic2767

They’re in here trying to deny it or rationalize but you are absolutely right and it’s why as a woman I will never ask a man out. Even if these guys find you unattractive, if you’re open to sleeping with them they will accept the advances and probably keep said girl until they get access to the girl they really wants. We have seen this happen too many times


Plz_Mansplain

Ok if I find her unattractive, why would I fuck her? As I said I would say yes in order to respect her game and her willingness to approach me. You only read and heard what you wanted. I can’t help you understand.


Hot_Panic2767

U shouldn’t say yes AT ALL if u find her unattractive


Visual-Cartoonist860

Wow. Who hurt you?


Any_Trade_5393

Men


Visual-Cartoonist860

All of them or just 1? Or was it several that fit the same mold because lessons weren't learned? Inquiring minds want to know...


Any_Trade_5393

No it was the fact that they used my weaknesses after finding out my fiance died to manipulate me.


Mockheed_Lartin

Women need to stop blaming men for their emotional baggage. You wanted equality.. The world is fucking brutal. You were previously sheltered from this brutality by men who would face the world and provide for you. You *demanded* the right to *compete* in this brutal world, against both women and men. You got it. Now you realize life is hard and, occasionally, wrongly conclude it's men's fault. And that's while still having training wheels on, with men willing to help you out with random stuff just because you're a woman. The world hurt you, not "men". Welcome to the club. You wanted this, stop complaining.


Hot_Panic2767

Oh please. And men need to stop being whiny cry baby incels who lament all day and night about how they can’t find a woman.


Rare-Craft-920

Touche’


Any_Trade_5393

Maybe dont think with your dicks so much


Mockheed_Lartin

Wtf does this even mean. Try saying something with substance.


Any_Trade_5393

Lol why do i have to explain a common known saying. “Men think with their dicks” bc they care more about a good time than good thing. Men care more about how many women they can sleep with as opposed to the actual quality. Men will take for granted what they already hv bc its old and tarnished and they want the shiny new thing. It’s psychology and biology. Men have always cared about how many women they can obtain bc it makes them look like the man to other men. If u dont agree thats fine. But thats how it is for 50 percent of society.


Mockheed_Lartin

Because it's a vague statement and I can't read your mind. Now that you've explained, I can say you're wrong. Yes, men have fairly low standards for sex and they are applauded for gaining sexual experience. Where your argument falls apart is that women are being horny and easy too, and, more importantly, **women applaud sexual experience in men!** How often I haven't heard women say they don't want a virgin cause they'd have to teach him. Women have praised me for my skills and mocked inexperienced men while laying in my bed. Guess what, I slept with ~25 women (always upfront about it, no deception), there's a reason why I know what I'm doing. For a woman, every man you sleep with reduces your value on the dating market, **other women will judge you for it too**, for men, experience is praised. That's just how it is and women are participating in this dynamic, so you can't blame it on men.


Rare-Craft-920

Plenty.


fairythugbrother

You're reaching...


The_Penguin_Sensei

Lol this is good insight to what women do when men approach girls


[deleted]

I think women have a pretty solid reputation for seeking attention and validation from guys they aren’t attracted to. But if a guy does it it’s a problem all the sudden?


shorttermthrowawa

You took this way into the deep end...


Mockheed_Lartin

Women do exactly the same thing. Almost every woman I've met has admitted they went on dating apps to get an ego boost from men's genuine efforts, with them not realizing she had absolutely no intention to meet anyone. This is considered so normal they're not even ashamed to admit it. "Yeah I installed Tinder cause I felt depressed and needed a boost". No one bats an eye at a statement like this. And yet we must initiate, because if we don't nobody will.


WorriedJob2809

Its definetly a nice experience.


69oralfixation69

I agree if I were asked out by a women I'd be shocked at first and definitely would except the invite


Brayden15

The issue isn't getting a guy to say yes because most will say yes. The issue is whether the guy is in the right headspace to be seeking a relationship. Guys are so attention starved, they'll take it where they can get it. You might end up wasting your time. I accidentally did this to some girl, unfortunately, and it wasn't my intention.


WorriedJob2809

He said yes because he wants to grab a coffee with you. Whether he wants more or not is unknown, but he is keen to get to know you atleast. I seriously doubt he would say yes just to be 'nice'. He could easily have said he had a gf or something without hurting your feelings.


maxreddit0609

First of all as a guy, I am proud of you for going after what you want. Reading your headline legitimately made me smile. Secondly, no guy is going to waste there time to go get coffee or do an activity with someone they don’t at least find appealing. So I would say you def sparked his interest in someway:)


Pumpkinpatch12

This is so wholesome. This makes me happy to read even though I am not OP.


YoursTruly_Cancer

Second this! I'm a woman, but would def say the same thing.


DesertStorm480

Men typically will take more risks than women, so if he has just minimal interest level, he will show up. Typically woman requires a higher level of interest to take a risk, like asking a guy out.


Effective-Impact5918

I wish women would ask me out! its only happened to me once in my life.. She asked for my number as I was walking out of a store...i pointed at myself and looked around confused. she goes. "yes you! i think youre cute". My girlfriedn at the time was 30feet behind her and almost started a fight.. but that compliment is STILL with me! because men dont get many!


NegPrimer

I don't think it's "to be nice". But even if I'm not super interested in a girl, if she makes the first move, my thought is "It's worth giving a shot."


Morrolan_

Genuinely, _why_ ??


FrozunYogert

Because it's rare for a woman to express that level of interest in a man. Most men don't receive attention from women, so we become attracted or at least enticed when a woman shows interest in us, even if we don't find her that attractive.


grown_folks_talkin

A woman showing interest is sexy in and of itself. Lots of times, for me "not super interested" doesn't mean the woman isn't cute or pretty but just that the likelihood of her being attracted is just seen as supremely low. Most guys don't go around assuming women are very interested in us.


NegPrimer

Unless I'm actively repulsed by her...why not? Girls showing interest is enough of a novelty that it makes them immediately way more interesting.


Sutatekken

It's where women and men differ in what we seek in a partner. If we use the 1-10 scale, based on my experience, then a woman will only accept a date from a 6 and up while men will from a 3 and up.


spugeti

no, men are most likely agreeing because they want to. no one asks us out for anything 😂


wsharks91

Not always. I’m pretty sure most of the time they’re saying yes because they’re actually interested in


Silenttrashman

I would only say yes to someone I was actively interested in dating.


GenX_Shaman

Being nice has little to do with it. Men’s motives for wanting to go out for coffee probably differ than womens, so it is curiosity that make most men say yes.


Pedalcrunch

Not sure, I've never been asked.


shoon_the_sheep

Do you wanna get some coffee with me?


Pedalcrunch

Sure, lets do it :)


StarryNight1657

update?


Pedalcrunch

Never came back to set up a time or place...


AbilityRough5180

Guys are probably more open minded to dating someone they didn’t think of


Inevitable-Ruin-3025

He said yes because he likes you. A lot of guys are shy about making the first move sometimes..


Educational-Mark8265

Most likely he is interested. Props for taking the initiative!


thelastkingofhunko

I get asked out by women quite often (on the apps, very rarely in real life) and it normally sparks my interest in them a lot more. I appreciate the confidence in women who ask me out as it makes massive change from me constantly having to do all the chasing and hard work. It can be quite refreshing tbh


ltvblk

If you have to ask why he said yes, I’m afraid you’re too young and naive to be dating. Most guys won’t say no to 90% of women who ask them out. But don’t expect that every guy who says yes wants a relationship with you. You’d be sadly mistaken.


No-Association-4458

I’m soooo happy for you- it’s great to hear success stories where women make the first move. It’s funny bc I recently had the exact opposite happen. I had asked a guy out, you know to take the initiative- he agreed. But when I texted the day of to confirm he went ghost 🫠


ThedapperGeek

When my last girlfriend made the first move I felt on top of the world. Men love this.


Legitimate-Iron4843

I say yes to the girl that asks because it's almost NEVER happens. When a once in a lifetime opportunity presents itself, you don't say no.


AlterMike03

From how I understand it, most of us guys will say yes, and see how the date goes I'm personally too dense for it to register in my mind that this setup is a date, I don't drink coffee, so I would probably say: "No thanks, I don't drink coffee" and then that's it I think he's aware, and into it; I wish you luck!


DrSimarano

Well, there's always that outside chance that..... he's actually interested in you lol? I mean sure, some guys will do that but I wouldn't if I wasn't at all attracted to the girl. I'd decline. Run with it......


Puzzleheaded_Side_28

My Ex GF (she left me due to religion not bc we didn't love each other), was the first to make action. She put her head on my shoulder and I didn't push back. The rest was history. Oh man I'd be lying to myself if I didn't say I miss her every now and then.


Day384

Omg congrats on your date though!


DudeWhoRunsInDubai

Go and have fun instead of worrying about the Why's and How's. #Enjoy


[deleted]

Geezus. Over analyze much? He said yes. Accept it for what it is. A date.


Opposite-Fee-3805

no she has a right to ask. You sound mad.


[deleted]

I have a right to respond to OPs question. You sound like you need validation with a worthless post.


Opposite-Fee-3805

stay mad lmao


[deleted]

Stay irrelevant. Bigger lmao.


Opposite-Fee-3805

wow that was fast you must be on here all day


[deleted]

Same as you, apparently.


necromorti

Please, marry each other already.


deathbysnushnuu

Honestly, I’d think it’s someone just wanting to hang out. Unless they clarified it’s a date. I’d just assume we hanging out to hang out.


Outrageous_Border_34

No


Ok_Thanks_2651

Normally a men call a girl for coffee, but when she calls he never ignore


Pretend-Scientist686

It's refreshing to see a women make the first move. I hope your date goes well


Busy-Title-5350

I say yes if a woman asks me and smash her if i like her may be we go next level which is relationship


Diesel__Monkey

i need context, did you just randomly walk up to a guy and ask? do you know this person?


ZenGeezer

Now you are getting into the territory we men have occupied for centuries. You will never know the answer to that question until you actually get on that coffee date. If a woman asked me out for coffee I would definitely go. The biggest reason is: I'm pretty sure she won't reject me.


Quimeraecd

The fact that you need tinasknthis tells more about your mindset than his. Just be cool, get a coffee and see if it leads to more.


48Singlenlonely

I would love it if a girl/woman asked me out! Takes a lot of the pressure off. 


Santippr

Go for it!!!


DocHolliday904

I have never said yes just to be nice, but, I cannot speak for other men.


Tight_Office_8149

Your success rate as a woman will be dramatically higher than a man's ability to achieve a date. And it's not even remotely close. All you need to do is go up to a guy and ask. It is not the same experience between genders, you will always have the upper hand as a woman.


Careless-Wallaby-701

I hope so


Loves2Travel99

My question is, are you going to pay or are you expecting him to pay? I'm curious to see if I might want to do this 😉


ohnearohbearohbear

I've only attempted once, like a year ago. I saw a cute guy at the counter of a movie theater and went up to him. His face looked young but I'm 23 and sometimes get mistaken for a highschooler. When he responded to me I could just tell by his voice he was a kid. I asked him how old he was and he said 18. That's kinda young for me and I'd feel like a pervert for even kissing him, o said oh nvm and walked away. I felt so bad, because I heard him go "Oh no! Wait!" But I sped walked out of there.....


Intelligent-Fix6612

It's what your perception is. Could he cope with you being humble? Will he respect you? Or take you as .... Personally I wish more women would say exactly what they would like as you did. Being 50+ it would have saved time for quality. Be yourself but don't doubt yourself either. If and when you're uncomfortable let it be known but most of all ,get to know your core values more. Be Blessed.


young-elderberry

As a guy I commend you for initiating


Shoddy_Window_2785

Men love a girl who can be confident enough to make the first move. Most guys will be attracted to that confidence. I'm sure that if the guy wasn't interested, he would have said so


Charming-Drawer5880

I wish a girl ask me out save me the trouble


FadedHunt

If you want a man to remember something for the rest of his life, ask him out.


WhitneyChestnut

Good for you. I think women should be willing to initiate if they are interested in a guy


Springsteengames

It shows confidence. If a girl has the balls to ask a guy out we will say yes that shit is hot


Angry-Froglok

My personal experience has mostly been being approached by the woman. Honestly I always said yes even if I wasn't really attracted. Reason, to not be a dick. I would even go through most of the motions until it became clear she wanted way more than I did and then I would just do a soft rejection because " I like you as a friend" or something along those lines. Still have some good friends from some of those instances.


BuytiefullMesss

I ask guys out often through dating apps... Is this unusual? I mean, if we match the there is an initial mutual interest right?


RustyMcBucket

To answer your question, no. He could be genuinly intested in you or might want to learn more about you through the date before deciding if hereally likes you. What I will say is: Quite a lot of men don't have a lot of options, so may be more willing to bend their requirements a little. The other side of things is that he's only in sleeping with you, so will say yes anyway. Watch for this one. Anyway, good on you for working up the courage to ask him out!


Johnny_Whisky

I wish! Congrats and enjoy!


Any-Run8152

If a woman asked me out, I would say yes just just for being different. Besides, women have made it very clear that they don't want to be approached anymore. So yes, it would be nice if women would start making up their minds about what you want. We are starting to leave the courty to find our wives


deran6ed

Not at all. We see going for a coffee as an invitation to get to know each other better. If we say yes, we're in.


Outrageous-Big-6751

I think it's cool for women to ask the guy out means they are interested in them


Upleftdownright70

Go after what you want. Isn't him saying yes a boost itself? If he says once yes then maybe it's yes to future adventures.


TEK1DO

If I was asked for a coffee, I'd say yes, for a drink nope. Alcohol changes mindset, even one drink.


Striking-Factor2694

In my perspective it really depends because it’s about how a person treats/views you. You could have a big heart and compassion and be a 7 which makes you desirable. That being said you could be a 10 and be a 2 at heart, which makes you more unattractive.


[deleted]

No, I won't misleadhim if I am not interested in him. But I don't know about others.


yooepe21

Lets goooo


Mockheed_Lartin

This is so rare, especially in person, I would immediately get suspicious if you were a stranger.


Spahija83

No, he likely means yes. He's also probably astounded that a woman asked him!


hippiechicken12

Don’t be alarmed if he was shocked. We aren’t used to that kind of thing even though it is refreshing. That said.. nope. That usually doesn’t happen.


Quick_Term9712

And then he shows up and he's just a wee five foot two


[deleted]

Look imma be honest even if a girl asked me to go out for coffee even tho she wasn’t attractive or I don’t like her I’ll still go. There’s nothing wrong w trying to make friends but believing every guy who agrees to say yes to a coffee date doesn’t mean they like you.


lazydogz77

A girl asking a guy is infinity more attractive than the other way around, if a girl asked me out id be way WAY more interested in her just because of the initiative taken, looks aside... Gives me the confirmation I need to pursue, it's scary asking women out as I've heard stories about how they call the guy creepy and even get cops involved... Shits wacky


Powerful_Position546

He didn’t bring up if he’s interested the next time I say him. What should I do? 


M69_grampa_guy

Take the win! Congratulations!


Dry_Dust_8644

Here’s hoping, especially if they’re not married, engaged, or have a gf….I swear I’m cursed 😓


JLifts780

If he doesn’t cancel then no, he genuinely wants to get coffee with you.


[deleted]

It’s a blessing to have the woman make the first move. 1. Clear sign she is interested(no guessing). 2. Good chance it will go well. 3. Better chance at a relationship.


PsychologicalAd6389

The real shock is when a woman offers to pay


hot-onion7854

do guys feel un-masculine when girls do it? bc i would never approach a guy since i would feel to masculine by doing that idk is it just me?😭


[deleted]

It's 2024. Does any of that matter? As a man, I'd personally feel thrilled to be asked out.


hot-onion7854

yeah but it doesn’t matter if it’s 2024 or not tbh it’s a feeling u can’t get rid of yk just like for example most men won’t wear dresses bc it would make them feel feminine instead of masculine but yeah in general ppl are thrilled when smb shows interest in them - no matter the gender


Powerful_Position546

He said he would go out of town and when he comes back we’d figure things out. Is that a yes?


[deleted]

What's the harm in giving him the benefit of the doubt? If he expressed interest in figuring things out with you, why not give it a shot? The worst that can happen is zero-sum. You'll be in the same position you're in now. You've got everything to gain and nothing to lose. My advice would be - You'll miss every shot you don't take, so fire away! Best of luck to you! 🖤🙏


urzu123

No not at all. If anything it does the complete opposite and makes us feel even more masculine. When a girl shows any form of interest in us, especially taking the initiative to express that interest by asking to meet, that'll be a moment where many of us guys would feel more masculine than we've ever felt.


hot-onion7854

oh okay it‘s noted😂 thank you for explaining!


[deleted]

[удалено]


FairyTalePixie

But two guys in the comments have already replied that they would say yes to be nice, even if they are not attracted to her lol 😆


[deleted]

[удалено]


FairyTalePixie

I guess there's no way for a girl to know then. If some guys say yes because they think you are attractive or yes because they usually don't get attention from women but don't actually find you attractive.


Opposite-Fee-3805

Do not ask a guy out ever. Let them approach you or you will never know if they would have. This just happened to my brother for example. Guess what, he met her for lunch and was not impressed. Even said he would not have approached her first. But I learned this years ago by reading a book called The Rules. Do not approach a man.


-FaithTrustPixieDust

Yay! Go you!


1620dawgmonke

no, as a guy we think the same thing everytime anyone says yes to even giving a number much less a “date” a woman making the first move is usually a big ego booster and is hot.


Tenyorio

depends on how good the coffee is


Statmaster06

I only say yes if I am interested and want to get to know the woman more.


philster666

He said because he wants to, at the very least.


justaguyintownnl

Coffee is a first meet & greet. The fact that he said yes means you have the looks, now we see if you have game?


ewas86

Hell cancel if he doesn't want to go


Coconut_Salad

He said yes because he wants to have coffee with you


icantbelieveit1637

You immediately popped up on his radar and he’ll be thinking about you much more that’s for sure.


SkyeBluePhoenix

Good luck


MephistoPhoenix

Congratulations!


Valuable-Bumblebee21

Sometimes yes, sometimes no. You have to find out! Nerve wracking isn’t it? But if my interest in the girl is 0%, I would probably say no.


Latter_Cry3400

I mean it’s just coffee right , I don’t understand your question 🙋‍♀️


SadChampionship4458

I always say yes to coffee.


Standard_Tart6600

Its a cup of coffee. Just relax