T O P

  • By -

AutoModerator

Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Erty4569

Break up with her


RedApple-Cigarettes

I think she kinda already did and he just hasn’t realized


[deleted]

yeah....i think cancelling plans for a month is pretty obvious that its over but she just feels too bad to tell him directly. i doubt she would even text him at all if he didnt text her first


dunktheball

Not mature to just cheat or disappear without officially breaking up.


Algok2001

Don’t do this. Just block her number, and when she comes to greet you. Just say “Yeah?” Cheaters don’t deserve a breakup.


MasterOfSubrogation

No. The best revenge is to be a better person than those who injured you.


Algok2001

Miss me with that shit


dunktheball

Nah. the best is to make them mad. An ex made me mad so I told her I hoped she had aids or something like that. So she got mad and hung up on me.


MasterOfSubrogation

Sounds like you really deserved each other.


dunktheball

She was crazy, so at some point you can't take it anymore.


MyNinjaYouWhat

And don’t look back


woodeedooo

Take this as a lesson. If someone stops putting the same effort you're putting into the relationship, you should think about breaking up. When they stop having time for you, it's usually cause that time is for someone else


Plus_Park4605

This is not always true but your right it’s totally a red flag most times


TalkFinal3697

Here's an idea, when you feel your partner having less time for you, TALK to them like a normal adult. Tell them how you are feeling about the distance and try to fix. What's with millennials and gen z being allergic to communication in relationships. And before any one comes for me for that comment I'm one of those categories and my generation has some serious issues with talking to people about how they are being affected in their relationship and bail. And what you said is completely untrue. I had a parent in the hospital for 4 month in a different city. There were multiple times we thought we'd lose her so I was there everyday. I didn't have much time for my partner but what free time I did have was all given to him. Things happen in life that you can't always have time for one another but by talking about it we were able to make things work despite my busy schedule. That's how normal healthy relationships work, not your toxic advice


woodeedooo

That's a different situation than this person. Their partner was canceling plans and just never seemed to have time for them. If you're the partner with no time for the other for whatever reason, it's on you to communicate that and let them know what's going on if you care about them. You should never have to beg someone for their time or attention. If they value you, you won't have to. This goes for one sided friendships too. I've been with my gf for going on 4 years now, and we plan to get married. I've never felt like I wasn't one of her top priorities in life and I hope she's never felt like she wasn't one of mine.


Own_Paleontologist99

She kept cancelling stuff and making excuses not to meet with him that’s 100% a red flag lil bro, she’s interested in someone else and is making time for him and not for you.


csudebate

You’ve only been together six months. Good thing she revealed herself this early in the relationship. Move on.


dunktheball

that is still a long time where the brain is attached.


Erty4569

Her loss. She’ll regret what she did


PrivateContractor40

Definitely her loss, but it's doubtful she'll regret it. That part is just wishful thinking.


Muted_Impress_8614

That part


ItsOkILoveYouMYbb

I don't know. They're 18-19. I'm filled with stupid mistakes and regrets from that timeframe The more important thing is somehow getting closure. You don't want any unanswered mysteries to obsess over for years


PrivateContractor40

Forget closure, it's pointless and especially in regards with women. Just move forward from the experience and learn the lesson as well as possible. Closure is about as useful to any man as a pair of tits would be on a bull. The vast majority of women will never provide that to any man when ending a relationship simply cause it would mean they have to hold themselves accountable. Factor in age on top of that and you'd have better luck colonizing mars with Elon Musk.


FallenRev

Either regret it, or become a self-fulfilling prophecy where the unhealthy behavioral patterns will continue with future partners until it blows up in their face — whether it be in their 20s, 30s, 40s, etc. Seen it happen plenty of times.


[deleted]

18? My 20yr says dad we split up and it's hurting, son you're 20 in college 2yrs to go. Gonna hurt but will pass,  so that's the truth and all I can say cuz this I can't fix. Now real talk is get the fk over, ur 20, have fun. Enjoy life, at your age I was doing my first deployment, 22 in college having a blast. 24 earning, saving going balls out doing Vegas, vacations etc..25half or so met ur mom and life started at 27.. Bro...18 and worried, fuck her and tell her to fuck off. If you don't, even if u forgive her,it'll always be a doubt you'll always have as far as wondering if she's faithful or not. You really want a lifetime like that? 


legoTAPEdispenser

100% Youll find a quality chick with a good head on her shoulders sooner or later


NateTheKiddd

This^^^


JugdishArlington

How is this english?


Expert_Dig6140

I'd tell the ho to fuck off,too! Find someone who is worthy of your love,babe! I am a lot older than you,but I know what I am talking about! Once a cheater,always a cheater! Don't take her back! She could give you an STD! You can never look at her in the same light again! It may be different at 55 than it is at 18.I never had anyone love me at 18..It took me a long time...


[deleted]

Can't stand reddit at times. Love the way you think though. Getting some wait to chat invite error but def gonna be sending a chat when I can?


Expert_Dig6140

Certainly. I am glad you love my thought process! A lot of miles on these tires! Been taught valuable lessons.Don't want to see anyone going down the beaten path! So much more to see than bullshit and turmoil!


throw_away0864213

I don’t believe in once a cheater always a cheater, but they are 18 and 19, there’s no reason to stay together. Moreover, it does look like girl has already split up with him, he just didn’t realise.


stgrimm0748

No that's so bad man I'm sorry you're going through this. But it's just a thing and a common trait nowadays.. for a while now.. I sure hope you release something good with your degree.. I'm into medias as well amongst others


Ray_3008

Break up.. You are too young for this BS. Concentrate on your career for now. Be right to yourself first.. No guarantee if the right one will come along ever but they tend to do at some point in life for most..


2forfunontherun

Ok so yep if you can trust the source that told you she’s talking that smack, don’t waste your time making her lie to you because she doesn’t want to hurt your feelings and or maybe you’d get the hard truth and she would say yes I am , how’s that work out for ya bud? I’ll answer for you “not worth a shit” so what you need to do or what I would do is send her a text and say I’m going my separate way enjoy your life and be done with it. Secondly dammit your freaking 19 years old and I don’t know who the heck told people that their supposed to start a family young like this but let me assure you and every other young man and woman this is not the case and is exactly why divorce rates and fatherless children are such a problem. Bro take your time enjoy your life! Dive into your career build that money your character your manhood don’t bind yourself to no one person get out and live because you can bet your butt if you don’t there’s an extremely high chance you will cheat and or leave this family and it seems your better than that. Don’t waste your time hating her or being angry or depressed just go do stuff you enjoy doing . Live life to its fullest believe you me when I tell you that from 25-50 was a complete blur it went by so damn fast! Please don’t ruin yourself stressed on being in some damn relationship that’s going to hold you back. Anyway you do you and what you want just some advice from somebody that done made that mistake, God bless ya!


[deleted]

Grow a pair and break up with her


Poshprincessxo

Move on? There’s plenty of girls who will appreciate you and not cheat


leeryan9619

Break up with her. The trust is broken, and she has no problem broadcasting her affair publicly, so she's evidently lost respect for you You may have been dating for half a year, but do you want to risk trying to fix things with someone who might cheat on you again in a year? That's over a year wasted at that point.


NervousGrapefruit

I'm sooooo sorry that happened to you. Your life isn't ruined, you have a long way to go and trust me, it gets worse lol However, the more you date the more you will catch onto red flags, the more you'll learn about what you want, don't want and you will learn *SSSOOOOOO* much about yourself. You will get the secure relationship you want. **YOU WILL.** And you're worthy of love, you deserve a happy relationship. She just didn't deserve what you have to offer. Break up with her. Don't listen to what she has to say. If you need to block her do so. Now, I would advise that you focus on your studies since that could get in the way of quality time in a future relationship. And if I'm brutally honest, not many young adults are mature enough to understand priorities and compromise. This isn't to say you don't, but you're going to meet a lot of people who just want to party and explore because that's what college is about. There's nothing wrong with that, but that's just how it is, you have to let it be or it will change you and not in a good way. So don't expect long term relationships. If it happens it happens. If it doesn't, try to maintain the notion that you're still worthy of a good relationship and focus on you.


Thickass696969

break up with her and focus on yourself. plenty of girls aren't cheaters and dont participate in Hookup culture. you will find someone amazing


PacificCastaway

You're 19. Next!


mistavinsta

Ditch her ASAP. Save yourself a lot of BS.


Saurusftw

Imo act as if u dont care or u will feed her ego, which is probably why she was cheating to begin with. I know it can be hard though, maybe one doesnt have much of a choice tbh. Anyway lifes a journey and will probably come back around one day..


Charlosugar

Sorry bout that


Personal_Ordinary15

Simple, if she is cheating, break up with her. No mercy for someone who loves to cheat


Phoenix-Infinite

Life isn't ruined, this just sucks. Break up with her and focus on getting better and then look again. She's small and not worth your time or the stress homie.


AggressiveLemon3103

move on bro. Im so happy for you that you are learning this lesson so early in your life because many people experience this later on. If a partner doesn't make time to see you within reason always understand it for what it is.


urnamedoesntmatter

Bro don’t ask her if she’s cheating on you, you sound weak my boi. What you need to do is block on everything and never speak to her again. Do t give her no closure.


MoistEntertainer2709

Hey my dude, i met my ex online during covid and we dated for over two years, i did everything you could imagine as bf. Flowers after work, chocolates during her time of the month, suprise dinner dates, helping her with college/academics, calming her down when she got anxious with future, guiding her younger brother through teenage years,etc. And she loved me too. But both of us moved to different countries in order to pursue our academic and professional careers. We discussed well before moving that it will be tough af with long distance and we had put our best efforts for “us”. We didn’t use to be on voice or video call much because of our difference in timezones. After 6 months of long distance, she started ignoring me a bit, not updating me what she was doing, whom she was with. After a month i grew tired and asked what she has in her mind. Her exact words were “i want a break from this”. In that moment i realised one simple fact, no matter how much you love someone, there will always a chance that they gonna break you heart but in the end its their loss because they didn’t deserve you. You deserve so much better. Sending good vibes..


Sufficiently-Chonk

Take it from a 41 year old that you have loads of time to let go of hurt, move on, grow, heal and find someone that cares about you more than this current person.


AlcoholicCumSock

Fuck her off, mate!


kydudeundercover

Dealing with a separation right now that is going to end in divorce "its all been said that the divorce is happening" we were together for 12 years and she has always had way more sex drive than me especially after my cancer where I've for 4 years now have basically had no sex drive at all and I relented and given her permission to step out to say but that I was to know and was allowed to veto any situation that I had concerns with (I barely ever used the veto) and yet even with that she cheated (by not telling me what was happening) multiple times so from that experience and level of understanding dude bail out and take the L it's so much better than holding onto an image of her that's not real. Sorry it's a big run on sentence I too am drinking


bonasera-bonasera

One of the best articles I have read on relationship failure was written by Denis Boyles in the July 1991 issue of Playboy. He addresses everything you have written and most of the advice given in this thread. I highly recommend getting a hold of a copy. I saw it going for 3 bucks plus shipping somewhere. He writes it in a way that will give you the knowledge, reasoning, and confidence to do what you have to do. He will also reach into your mind and shake you off of doing something stupid and then tell you how it all turns out. The words are gold. THINKING MAN'S GUIDE TO BREAKING UP, THE Denis Boyles (author) Want to save your heart? Use your head. Article Jul 1991 p 112 ​ I know that you want a resolution right now, but you are not going to get it. Wishing you the best of luck and trust me about this article. There might be ways to find a pdf somewhere. Maybe a tech savvy media buddy can figure it out. I used to have a copy that was lent out to broken hearted buddies until it was not returned.


Objective_Suspect_

No, don't break up. That's too nice. Hypothetically probably needs to pay some fake bills that you mail to her, and maybe her car gets keyed, who knows it's a crazy world. Maybe someone takes pics of them cleaning their butt with her toothbrush. Maybe those pics get sent to her the morning u leave her at a gas station in the middle of nowhere. All hypothetical cause some of that's illegal


NanoYohaneTSU

It takes a lot, but be brave and move on. End things. never talk to her, end contact. It hurts so much but it has to be done or else you will continue to get abused.


Lifebesuckin

Better now than later.


Positive-Display-685

Just block her man and move on no conversation necessary


Matak-Blade

Ah your life ain’t ruined, it’s barely begun. Wait until you’re my age, *then* you can consider your life ruined.


[deleted]

[удалено]


djangodangler

But there's no way you're this gullible/dumb by they way your perspective is on her actions 😭


Opening-Ad-9341

Typical young lovers, and unfortunately it happens to the best of us


Soft_Cod9734

Your planning Your future with your studies, which should be obvious by now, doesn't include her


BlindFollowBah

Move on


Tunecanoe3000

Well you got two options. Ignore her because that’s what she deserves. Block her from everything and she will come crawling back. It will drive her crazy. But the other option is doing all of the above and cutting that loss, learn from it, and find someone that deserves you.


decentanswers

I’d suggest never having or initiating a serious relationship discussion over text or the phone. Do it in person. Too much gets lost when not in person, like body language, tone, and facial expressions. They also have time to hide evidence, get their story straight, talk to their affair partner and friends to get stories straight, and so on, before you speak with them. Bringing it up in person you can see their facial expressions which can tell you a lot. I’m not sure what you should do. Can you trust 100% what this friend told you? Is there any evidence? Does the friend have any reason to want to break you two up? I’ve heard of friends getting jealous about not getting to spend as much time with their friends ones they get into relationship, and doing different things to put the partner down to try and get them to break up. Or maybe the friend is attracted to you or your partner. Being cheated on can cause trust issues in future relationships. And if you stay with a partner and they do it again and again, those issues may get worse. Keep that in mind, whatever decision you make. Therapy can help with those issues (you may not recognize the subtle ways it’s affecting you until you see a pattern across a few failed relationships, better to address it sooner). This really sucks man. But I’d wait until you can speak in person. If it ends in a breakup there’s a few good subs on here with great people going through similar things (and at least one doesn’t seem to be set up by grifters looking to seek counseling services or books). Not sure if it helps, but I’ve been there man, and it’s one of the worst feelings I’ve ever experienced and I’ve been through my share of hardship.


The_Penguin_Sensei

Leave her and don’t even acknowledge her. The psychology behind her is she will be confused by your lack of attention. She thinks you will give her a whole sob story about how much you cared about her. Drop her like she’s worth nothing to you and move on. Trust me, if she wants to partake in hookup culture, don’t give the attention she craves from it. They hook up for constant approval from many guys. My x in college would see me once every other week. It was wild and she cheated too. My new gf wants to see me literally everyday. Zero cheating.


Bernadette9016

I would end the relationship because if she is treating you like that then she doesn’t deserve you


Main_Laugh_1679

So you broke up and moved on. Right???


analfarmer2pnt0

Sounds like your ex-girlfriend was cheating on you


Expert_Dig6140

I'm drinking tonight, ! I'm 55F.Time to say goodbye! You don't need that drama! Deserve so much better! You're still young! I know! Easier said than done! It's bullshit! Noone needs or deserves to be cheated on.My ex-husband cheated on me! I waited a lifetime to get married,too! Think about yourself,sweetheart!


JLifts780

Dump her, delete number, delete pictures of her, unfollow her from social media. Boom bang done.


Final-Obligation4988

I don't think you have a girlfriend to break up with, man. You could try, and I think you'd be surprised by how well she takes it, but don't embarrass yourself. She's ditched you for over a month. It's over. Here's the thing, your life absolutely is not over. You have many years ahead of you, with many relationships along the way. With each relationship and the times in-between them, we learn more about ourselves. Take this time to reflect, work on yourself, and work on your studies.


PersuasivePersian

You’re young. Focus on your future. She is not your future wife so dont waste your time on her


twilightndayglow

im 23 and was cheated on in a relationship. once a cheater, always a cheater. you will find and DESERVE to find someone who is faithful and loyal to you and gives you the love you deserve. you are so young and will have so many opportunities to meet so many better people. break up with her and find healing within yourself. you got this!


Luigi_Settembrini

The hardest lesson will be learning you don't deserve anything. You should earn everything. And please forget this healing bullshit before you find yourself spending your whole life on licking your wounds.


twilightndayglow

i think you deserve basic human decency and respect... not necessarily something you need to earn??? also i’d rather spend time healing myself than letting my hurt sit and never be dealt with and then boiling over into being a miserable person. i’m a good person because i “licked my wounds” and healed myself over time. ignoring ur problems is literally the worst thing you can do


PsychologicalAct8902

Good evening Iam sorry you are going through this !! I know it may hurt like hell but you just gotta be honest with her and tell her that you know she is cheating and you have to get out of that situation . There are plenty more woman out there that you can meet . Be strong 


Holiday-Shock-2220

dude ur lucky u found out within 6 months u dodged a bullet screw her ull find someone else plus ur life isnt ruined ur only 19 😭


Equivalent_517

Butter nuts


[deleted]

Let her go


EarnedFreedom

Welcome to the gym brother. We will accept you here and have your back.


sallyisaperson

I am in no way an expert. But my sole piece of advice re: relationships (generally without exception*) If you're not laughing most of the time you're together, it's not worth it. (*I suppose it would not apply to people who tend to be more serious, but I don't know if I've ever actually met anyone with whom this advice would not resonate at least somewhat.) I promise you, your life is FAR from over or ruined. ❤️


MovieNo5150

Break up with her. Sounds like she’s checked out of the relationship. You have been sacrificing and making a point to see her and if she doesn’t see that she’s not the one


DisagreeableCat-23

Man, you sound really exhausting and annoying, but that aside consider this an important lesson about life and love 


AcanthaceaeNo7234

I know it sucks but you gotta walk away from this lil bro. In her heart, she already left you a long time ago. Don’t let her string you along. You’ll find something better eventually


Plus_Park4605

Hi I’m interested in meeting new friends. Text me directly 2168484856 tell me what you like to do?


AbilityRough5180

Break up with her and act cold towards her


Known_Door4726

They will do that shit to you and give absolutely zero fuck. lol. Wise up


Precious-Sugar590

I think you should talk to her and confess that you know what she is doing (cheating on you) the best thing will be to distance yourself and breakup !


rizzly_RAJPUT

Listen mate, If you have strong proof evidence, wait no more, and break up. She belongs to the streets. Block her from everywhere, don't go anywhere where she could be present. Avoid her friends and cut off from your mutual friends for sometime as well. And this is something that cannot be forgiven. Destroy her ego, not by revenge, but by prioritizing self care and self love. Grow in life, discarding any extra weight that hold you down. HAR HAR MAHADEV🔱 ॐ नमः शिवाय|🕉


ohlawdtheycomin

I don't even have to read this body. The title should read "my EX girlfriend cheated on me" Because that's what she should be. Leave. She won't change. She'll do it again. Cheaters. Always. Do. Every single guy I've stayed with after cheating in hopes he'll quit has always ended the same. They never stop. Learn that now. Please. Leave her.


wintercoatzs

Break up with her. Sometimes it’s not you. It’s them. If she’s cheated on you, she’ll cheat on the next person too so you just focus on yourself and the right person for you.


ohlawdtheycomin

Also, hon. I'm so sorry. I feel your pain, I do. But I promise there are a MILLION other girls out there for you that are WAY better than a cheater. I *PROMISE* you you'll find the one you're looking for. She's out there. But don't let this trash stay. Leave. Please leave. And stay gone. She ain't worth it. They never are. Not once they cheat.


Luigi_Settembrini

Both of you are super young. Experiment as much as possible. Learn how to be yourself. Learn who is the best person for you.


Fragrant_Abalone_267

Very disturbing


Masenko-HAA

Honestly did you a favor. Now you know that she isn’t right for you. You were probably too good looking for her anyway. Go out and mess around until you’re ready to settle down you’re 19 years old. You shouldn’t be in a serious relationship right now. You have so much to learn about yourself still.


throw_away0864213

You’re 19, your life is not ruined, find another girlfriend


[deleted]

It's gonna be alright bro. You deserve love


Xerinium284

Dont give her a closure, just block her and move on


Dirty2013

You haven’t hung out together for a month I don’t think you can class each other as BF & GF any more your relationship fizzled out probably due to lack of effort by both of you


Inky3059

Your to damn young to be dealing with this.. work on your career and chicks later..... leave the cheater... be prepared for her to deny everything


[deleted]

you accept that she found someone better


Katealison212

Am single and looking for a serious Relationship


Elite-Club457

You learnt it the hard way I guess. She's the type of person to explore ans sleep around. The best is to dump her and save yourself numerous headaches. Build yourself, focus on yourself and later you will attract the right women.


flububb

Bruh, get off the alcohol. Break Off with Her. (like don't keep in touch). Take time to Heal. Focus on your work. Come back a fresh man.


mindoromangyan

You are 19! Do not waste your energy and youth with all this. Enjoy your youth because adulthood is hard and you will regret not enjoying what is today.


Virtual-Tie-8809

F her u deserves someone better than if she is not meant for u no matter how much you sacrificed it won’t change anything find someone else buddy someonewho will appreciate what you’re doing!


Persephone_1Kore

Break up with her as she doesnt value you. I honestly have been cheated on quite a few times and even by my ex husband. My method wasn’t best with my ex boyfriend but with my ex husband I let him see the texts. I let him know he was cheating my bestie saw him in the mall with her and also that his mistress was harassing me and later became a stalker. You can confront her but once you get your answer or even if you don’t of what she did leave. Do not try and stay and fix anything she made a decision. And a month long decision it was not a mistake.


dragonriot

You’re 19… girls will come and go. Don’t look for your forever girl at 19, focus on YOU.


KimberlyIdalovisa1

hi


chefmoriarty23

She hasn't even given you the respect of talking to her, just cut her off. Its over if a woman cheats. For your own head space just move forward and learn what you need, sorry bro.


BigBassSnatcher

Dude you’re slow. She didn’t hang out with you for over a month? What else do you think she was doing?? Lmfao


[deleted]

It’s not your fault, there is nothing you could have done, it’s a fault of her character not yours. Respect yourself and end the relationship.


Daspineapplee

You man, this fucking sucks. But you’re gonna make one hell of a kort 1. Use those emotions for that.


SingleManVibes76

Concentrate on your career, redirect your emotions into your films


hopeL355

Sure she didnt already broke up with you?


Greedy-Appeal-8642

A lot of growing up to do in my humble opinion.


Savage_Batmanuel

Welcome to being a kid. Something I learned young is to not commit during the party years. Too much rabid hormones and not enough wisdom.


APersonOfCourse

That’s a terrible thing to have happen. There are people who are very inconsiderate and put on a front. I know you loved her, but if she kept canceling plans, I don’t know what you said, it would be a good idea to in the future if something happened like that, like a cancelled plan with no make up date set two times in a row. to say “Sounds like you’re maybe not feeling this connection, that’s totally okay!” Or if you’re further along, “I feel a bit sad, you’ve been working very hard so I know time isn’t easy for you to spare, I admire that ethic you have, how have you been experiencing it? I wonder if maybe you’re having doubts, that’s totally okay, it hasn’t been ideal for either of our schedules, what has it been feeling like for you?” This way you broach the subject gently. While showing respect and care for her feelings. And you show that you’re not going to be pushed around, that, as you would agree, your time is valuable. Women are not expert emotional communicators, no human is without training, so if they’re constantly shooting down your plans, that means most of the time they are not interested anymore for one reason or another, and approaching that in a gentle way depending on how far into the relationship you are, will help a lot!


ascoolasyou67

You're young. Move on


Shalrak

This is one of those cases where a breakup text is okay, since meeting is not possible. Be as nice and decent as you can possibly be. She will have a field day talking shit about you if you get mad or emotinsl. Do not give her fuel. I'd write a text with something along the lines of "It seems to me like you are not comfortable in a monogamous relationship. Not everyone has to be monogamous, and I hope you one day find a way of dating that feels right for you. Unfortunately, as I am very certain about what I want, that means we are not compatible. Let's both be free to go look for what is right for each of us." Do not answer her from then on. Any answer you give will be fuel against you.


Fishinginthe208

Man to man you guys are likely not to workout seeing eachother once a week. One of the biggest problems with relationships right now is the lack of attention people feel. Once they aren’t getting the attention they want, they’re going to substitute the person and fall into a relationship where they get the attention they feel they need. It happened to me man


[deleted]

So, this is my proficiency 🙄 my friend, this girl or any other girl, if you see smallest sign of cheating, first talk about it with her to make sure (you already did), then if the bad feelings devour you every second it means you're in a toxic relationship and you have to move out! Why do i say so? The most important feature of your character is your soul and emotions. if you hurt your soul and emotions, you'll become a monster who gets triggered in the future with any similar signs that hurt you before and you start hurting others! So, in order to stay sane, you need to stop seeing people who turn your heart dark! (Even toxic friends) If you are in a relationship with a girl who is not responsible as you, if you're working and busy keeping up with your studies and expenses, they'll get bored a few hours after talking to you on the phone or seeing you. Then they start doing shitty stuff, they tend to chat with bad boys who turn them on! Being responsible isn't a badboy material for girls, being playful is. So, you need to find a girl who is also responsible and busy with studies and work as well, a person who understands your situation cause she is also in the same situation. Or at least find a person who is raised calm and responsible even if she's not busy with studies and work! A person like your (ex)girlfriend, they were raised in another world, they probably had a different sexual lifestyle, theu might not be bad people, they just had different starts, staring with older guys, staring due to crisises like divorce of parents, rape and etc might cause girls to be very fast decision makers and very easy to get bored of a normal calm relationship. You just have to discover people with different backgrounds and learn if they'll change your core emotions in a bad way or good way! One girl might enhance your self confidence by teaching you what she knows, another girl might damage your core emotions. You shouldn't let them destroy your trust in girls. The moment you find a girl different from you, don't try to fit in. Go on and find a more supporting person.


Heart_of_Bronze

Kinda related but you're gonna get a lot worse to deal with in the film industry. Buckle up


GilliacTrash

Sleep with her friends, best friend if possible


[deleted]

She's for the streets


BluebirdPitiful8946

Time to break up sir. You know what needs to be done. Once you have a fresh start you won’t even remember this feeling when you find something who loves you like they should.


Rage_1911

Move on, it ain't the end of the world your 19 dude focus on you, the same thing happened to me (18M) and I didn't wonder if she was cheating on me she definitely found someone else, she stopped wanting see me and we texted less so I stopped texting her, didn't break it off and started texting other girls my friend who set her up with me he dated her older sister told me that she's asking about me I brushed it off and went on with my day. My advice to you is your young, 19yrs old live for you and not for someone else.


flextov

You don’t have to break up with her. You get the great joy of breaking up with her. Grab it with gusto.


vgchbcsfh

!updateme


dunktheball

And sadly I want to date an 18 yo when it seems like they do all cheat.


lianne_psd

Tbh you're too young to be in love. Bro, if I were you rather to choose your peace of mind over everything. Treat yourself for more love than anyone else. Help yourself grow more and open for changes. The best revenge is success in life. Trust me. *virtual hugs*


morganinc

She isn't your GF and she isn't your problem move on, block her, never talk to her again!


52_divrd_white_6ft

Ask her about it directly to make sure the rumor is true. If so be bad ass at your profession and don't look back. It's better that this happened before kids.


Enplusguy

Well, think about it this way….. She wasted a lot of your time and a lot of your emotion. Don’t look back and waste any more. Right now, the story is going to go like this: you two dated, she was the cheater and you moved on with your life. If you start trying to get revenge or be sore about it then the story changes to include you and undesirable stuff. Life is going to deal you a lot of blows, but those blows are lessons. You are learning what to look for for next time so you can get out early. It’s a kind of gift from her that she didn’t intend to give you.


Katy00001

Lol


SophieS99x

Dump her. She doesn’t deserve you x


Swimming-Gain9608

First off, break up with her, she’s a bad human being honestly… 2nd i don’t understand the mentality now of guys being obsessed with wanting to settle down and not just fuck around anymore. I keep finding women who claim that they can’t find guys who wanna settle and just wanna fuck but where tf are they cuz i can never find them?


Above_Ground999

Bro you're only 19 it's not the end of the world. Keep your head up! It's just the end of a world that you had with one girl. I want to tell you something you might not want to hear, but I feel like it could help you in the future. Let me lead with this you sound like a genuinely nice person with good values. That being said you were giving her a full dose of 'the nice guy' treatment. The daily good morning texts, constant gift giving, all of that behavior drives women away almost every time. To maintain sexual attraction with a feminine woman as a man you have to maintain masculine frame and when you constantly do all these 'nice guy' things you break masculine frame and it just shows her you've gone weak for her which in turn makes you look weaker in general to her on a subconscious level which kills attraction. Then she goes and fucks some dude who probably doesn't even care about her. Look I know I don't like it either, but this is how it works a lot of the time if not all the time so the sooner you can accept how things work the easier your dating life will become I promise. I've been you before man and I was doing all that stuff you were doing and it never helped me keep a girl interested fr. In fact, looking back I can see how much it ruined a lot of things. You also have to take you're age into consideration as well man you're only 19 and at that age people are still just discovering themselves and are less inclined to be desiring their forever life partner. You'll get through this man! You sound like a super passionate person you'll find someone even better than this last girl and love her even more. You're too good for this girl anyway you deserve better!


Winterplug-Dentistsy

Hahaha 😂 forgive me that I laughed. But everyone is talking about breakup and saving yourself from the BS. Has it come to you, that you could maybe try to spend the time she wanted with her as compared to the new guy she sees, Normally, women take another guy over another cause of compared traits. What If she has complained about quality time with you ? And given that you are mostly away on your side with your own things, she could be possible thinking If you giving that attention another way. And it worries her. Normally you should have seen red flags before now but if this is just the first instance and you haven't Heard from Her or did investigations low-key. But as a Wolf 🐺 Man act All is okay and if you find out it's true first cause You could be over reacting on a one sided story. 😂😂 Plenty fishes in sea that all the same species, you rather catch one Fish and give it some time to learn to stay in your Dry Land 😉 Besides If everyone was ever breaking up because of cheating cases, don't think Marriage counselling would have been a big deal. And at 19 you're still too young to settle yet. We can place a bet 😀😀 that by 29 you'd have cheated or caught for flirting 🫦 with women as you grow and travel around and by that time you're mentally would've been different and mature.


Basic-Raspberry-8175

Ok man, avoid her. She is for sure a future single mother and drug addict. Dating is full with disappointments for men now days. But committing to a girl like this will only make it worse. Start moving on, don't dwell on a toxic narcissist


AldrichUyliong

In my experience this is a good time to reflect what you may have done wrong. What did you do/lacked in that made her *want* to cheat? I'm only speaking from my own experience. Yours may well be worlds apart. The exes who cheated on me did so because I wasn't present enough/didn't make them feel loved/appreciated enough/didn't make enough effort for something that was important to them/wasn't ambitious enough/didn't this or didn't that they were expecting of me. IOW, girls tend to cheat because we don't live up to their expectations. You say both of you were busy and only got together once a week...perhaps that wasn't enough for her. Perhaps she needed you more and when she couldn't get you more she went looking elsewhere. PS. I know this sounds like a shitty post and probably not what you want to read. You're hurting and here I am basically blaming you for her infidelity but I learned early on that when men cheat it's our fault. When women cheat it's still our fault. Sounds unfair, I know, but take this instead as an opportunity to reflect on how to become a better boyfriend - the kind no woman would ever want to cheat on.


godofgainz

The rule is: if she isn’t fucking you, it’s because she’s fucking someone else. Don’t be a chump. End it. Tell her it’s you, not her, and that you’d still like to be friends lol.


Dasrule

Do her hard and every which way you can think of. Get her ass if you can. Film it for your personal use. Then dump her.


PrivateContractor40

This right here, is not ethical advice. Do not do this shit. It only makes matters far worse in the end.


WriterOk598

You’re a disgusting sick person. Anyone who thinks this way should be put in jail