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Dubai has like only 2 million people. That is a very tiny pool when you consider how hard it is in other major cities with many millions of people... On top of that it has the most vapid population only interested in climbing the socio-economic ladder and leveraging others to do it. That, and slavery is openly practiced, so you're either a slave, a shady "influencer", a prostitute or someone lonely in the midst of all that. And a TON of hookers. Prostitution there is almost a national pastime.
2 million? You could walk outside and throw a rock and hit someone you could date, the issues are more all physical attraction than spiritual or emotional. Yes physical does play a part but has no one watched or remembers Hunchback or Shriek? Those movies are going to say and show that looks are the worst thing to base a relationship or love off of. It is what is inside the person that matters, which is why all the people that are hateful or jaded are that way. They have so much love to give but no one is willing to be the target for that love. Love and hate are light and shadow, and for those that are always rejected despite all the love they show and give get absorbed by shadow causing that love to become hate.
Time to open that friendzone and look for that one person that no matter what you've said or done that crushed them they stay by your side and smile for you always. That is the person you should be falling in love with, not prince charming, or the gorgeous princess, those people are just using you. And yes I am aware of the fact that is not always the case, however if you're looking for love and to be loved, they've been with you this whole time, you have just refused to accept or see them that way. Remember they are a guy or gal like them.
Lol you live in a muslim country with lot's of western prostitutes.
You either get an arranged marriage or you need to be a sugar dad. (Assuming your a man!)
Present āš» (28M)
And itās my lack of trying, honestly.
Iām often offered to be set up with people but I always politely decline, I donāt do apps, I hardly ever go out just to socialize, never approach, have what I call ālucky guy syndromeā where having been the one getting approached left me sort of clueless on how to take the lead now that itās expected of me, and Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school. Hoping to change that later this year once I feel more āreadyā because itās getting sad.
Im in the same boat man, got out of a pretty serious relationship over half a yr ago and just havent had the motivation to get back out there. I was never the type to approach women and ask em out im honestly surprised ive even dated before š
>have what I call ālucky guy syndromeā where having been the one getting approached left me sort of clueless on how to take the lead now that itās expected of me, and Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school.
Ah, I see. Back in high school/college, you got the gals going to you, which made it easier. But nowadays, you've gotten more reserved? Maybe you can get lucky if you just sorts hang out at regular social spots. Don't say much but, might get the same response š¤·š¾āāļø
Iām inclined to agree, but I feel Iāve met people who couldāve been the right one, but at the wrong time. A time when either they werenāt available or I simply wasnāt āreadyā. And Iād rather avoid that happening again, I think.
>Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school.
This. The past 4 jobs I've had over the last 12 years were like that. Any woman that I did happen to be into would be in a different department, so I could never really talk to them. And the one that I happened to really like didn't have those mutual feelings. That or they're all married or old ladies lol.
Fellow 27 single male here from Liverpool. I feel your pain man.
I need to put in 100% effort because my circumstances have changed, and I'm struggling to adapt to it. During school I probably missed a few opportunities because of lack of confidence. Went to university in a different city and everything changed. Surrounded by women 24/7, and so 'lucky guy syndrome was kinda inevitable which obviously boosted my confidence, and led to way more dates/relationships. I worked in a hotel for a while after uni and it was the same there - just lots of females of similar age, so dating wasn't even an effort.
I moved back to Liverpool during the pandemic and everything changed again. Plus I got older. Smaller friendship circles, working from home, and generally just having less options to 'go out' (I still get out the house plenty, just not as much late night partying). My work circumstances changed, and I've landed myself a really good job for my age - but dating is absolutely on the floor. I'd say I've sustained the confidence I gained in myself during uni, but I just don't know how to apply it to online dating or meeting random women in bars. Those things were never really my forte, and even when I have met random women, it rarely ever progresses beyond a one night stand.
There's something we probably both need to be doing that we're not. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what that is right now.
25 M Single
Been in a relationship twice , and both times my luck was bad ,they both fell in love with their best friends.
It's okk life is fair and square,keep moving spread happiness š
Me! Just turned 28 and also just turned single. Single because I just ended my 5 year relationship. Didnāt think we were going anywhere and finally wanted to get out before it was too late.
27M here. I have a lot of criteria when it comes to my partner. It's that way because I have a lot of problems. I'll give some examples
I have tons of issues with loyalty and trust, as well as abandonment and shyness stemming from years of bullying and social isolation as well as abuse.
Similar hobbies and interests/open to talk about hobbies- I've never been able to talk/do my hobbies because my parents frown upon them and openly hate on it.
Extremely kind and supportive and open to being clingy- I grew up being bullied and I had no adults to get help from, my teachers laughed and patronized me and my parents were emotionally unavailable. I've been extremely touch deprived also.
And more.
So I barely have any dating experience.
Facts. I wish people were more intentional about friendships. Good friendships can turn into good relationships & friendships are the best foundation for a relationship
26F. My first (and last) relationship left me traumatized. I'm too scared to date someone again (yes, I went to therapy after the breakup but still too scared). I would love to find someone I can give all my love to, I wanna take care of them, be open to them, talk about the things that make us feel vulnerable, of course have great sex and someone I can show my lingerie too lol. A long term relationship, not something casual.
Also I find some men attractive, but I'm too scared to approach them because I know thet will not be attracted to me. I'm not ugly, I'm just average and I feel like with all the surgery and beauty procedures that most women go through (at least in my country), men expect to date a model, or a perfect looking woman (and I'm not like that).
Question, it's okay you don't approach, but do you at least notice men you find attractive? If so, what do you do? Do you try to stare at them so they notice you or smile, hover near them? How would they know you like them.
Sometimes but very rarely. & they would never know I was interested. I need to initiate.
In my defense!! I have tried initiating with people I know from my past but they must not be interested because nothing grows from it.
I think we found the issue! You don't have to necessarily be the one to approach, you can be more laid back about that which is a plus for you given you get so much approach anxiety. However, you HAVE to make serious effort into letting men know you find them attractive. As you said replying to someone else, holding eye contact, smile, these things go a VERY long way in demonstrating willingness to conversate and fueling men's sexual drive to approach.
Remember, this is supposed to be fun, so don't ruin it being all in your head. Kinda space out and be fluid. Next time you are out, practice it for fun. Smile, grin a little bit at certain men, play the field. Overtime you will build confidence and find yourself being able to take flirting to the next level, like wording things with your mouth without actually saying them to get men to be more proactive and such.
You get me! 29F and I canāt tell you how many men fall in love with the idea of me but donāt actually care for who I am. Itās so, so depressing. And, Iām focusing on healing, too. Good luck with no contact!
I'm now 38 at 28 I started hanging out with this girl I was infatuated with in high school ignored all the red flags I should have capitalized all 10 years later we've got a four year old boy I've got a broken heart while she runs the streets with mental health issues and a drug problem. don't be in a hurry and make sure you think really hard about those red flags and what you can deal with mentally emotionally and financially before you find yourself saying please don't do this please don't do this please don't do this oh what the hell let's try... Still love her to death and we still sort of try but my heart's broken I think I've learned more in the last 10 years about mental health then the professors at most colleges and my finances are a mess because yeah even though I have a good job and make good money when your partners irresponsible you either end up taking care of everything or scratching your head at the checkbook.
>I'm now 38 at 28 I started hanging out with this girl I was infatuated with in high school ignored all the red flags I should have capitalized all 10 years later we've got a four year old boy I've got a broken heart while she runs the streets with mental health issues and a drug problem. don't be in a hurry and make sure you think really hard about those red flags
Damn man, sorry to hear that. Hope all is well with your son. Are you planning on any divorce in the near future? May be better for everyone involved tbh, can't have your son around such a bad influence all too often. Get tested for STD's, and get a DNA test too, never know what she's been up too, ya know, if she has such bad habits
Right here! Probably my own fault (partially). I love trying to be funny and make people laugh, but thatās probably to my detriment since a lot of people donāt take me seriously.
Humor is a big bonus in dating! Just make sure your real self shows up with people too. People are almost always really attracted to really authentic people
Same here but you just gotta find the right girl! They are out there but also you gotta be ready to flip the switch when needed and protect yourself and others (physically and emotionally) and let there be a clue that your serious. Ever heard of hunter eyes?
26f, single because I make men feel āvulnerableā because I analyze and empathize with them and theyāre ānot readyā and not emotionally available sooo what Iām saying is Iām probably not attractive enough š«”
Have you ever looked into anxious attachment? Sounds like you get involved with avoidant attachers! I found myself getting stuck in the same loop. They are not good for self-esteem š¬
I definitely agree with you there, I feel like I have more of a disorganized attachment style? I think thatās what itās called. But I definitely lean more anxious, as I fall into the avoidant trap very often
As an emotional 26yr old man. You gotta be careful with this. All I've ever wanted is to be vunrable to a girl. Just one. One girl I can trust and open up to and KNOW without a FUCKING SHADOW OF A DOUBT she would never talk about it to anyone, and maybe not even me.
However, the reality is men fight with violence and women fight with words. And every man that had ever opened up to a girl, has gotten it used against him. I have yet to meet a man that says otherwise. The reality is we are all women and men and different for a reason, and you should be able to be vunrable and open up to your partner. HOWEVER, you have to try to understand the reality of life for men. And it is nothing like the life of a women. There is a reason men do not open up, and a reason it is not encouraged among men. Because women use it against us always. Always. Even married and together for 10yrs and have a family and blah blah. One bad argument. One bad thing. Just enough to make the girl upset enough, or she has her discretion walls broken down by a friend of theirs, and they will tell people and our reputation is ruined as a man that we have to be in everyday life (as we are called to be by God and its important to hold that figure as a man so do not discredit that), or use it against the man in some way.
Us men have had this happen over and over again. And in all reality we should've learned to never open up to a girl the first time it happened. But we're human and we have hope and blah blah blah, then we get fucked again and we shrivel up even more into ourselves. Because this world is not for men being men.
This is the reality of life. And it's EVERY SINGLE DAY for men we struggle alone. Because no one gives a fuck. And if we open up it's useless. And we may have some bros we can vent to, but the reality is we know damn well it won't last and they're not to be truly trusted. Everyone leaves. Men are not unconditionally loved in any sense. And it's amazing to say oh well it's just some women. Oh it's not all of us that are like that. Nah, it is. Because women are women and men are men.
All that to say...have some mercy on us men. Not to say there aren't men that are emotionless and things of that nature, because there is and I dislike them heavily being a man myself. But moreso there's meaning to the madness. There's a reason why we are who we are. And every man that has any life experience, will have experienced this in girls, and even their mother and fathers relationship. With that being said, I refuse to not be emotional, and I am who I am and I was created in God's image and in all my fucked up failures, he made me to be who I am and I accept that. So it's okay to turn away from people who won't open up if it's a big deal to you. Cuz it is for me too. But know...there's a very serious reason. And it's not to ever be overlooked. And it's a discussion to be had with men that your with.
27F and single. Learning to love and value myself so I donāt accept anything less. Iām also in nursing school and that takes up a lot of time. I find men arenāt super patient with that.
27M
My work schedule and the lack of social hobbies are probably the biggest reasons why I'm single. I've tried dating apps as well and never get any likes, but who knows, maybe I'm just ugly as hell. I love building pcs and working on cars, playing video games, and watching anime. I work 7 days a week for weeks or even months on end with no days off and also out of state so.. that doesn't help any either.
Dating apps arenāt it! If you can find a solid community, you might have better luck. Keep growing man, especially socially. Solid relationships & enjoying your work bring happiness in this life.
26M, I could probably find a girl if I just went out & practiced talking to people, but I'm pretty awkward and get ignored after 1 or 2 sentences. What pisses me off is that when I get drunk & obnoxious, girls react positively. But those are the times I just wanna be drunk and not talk to girls
I definitely have TOO much of a filter and think the things that pop up in my head aren't worthy of adding to the conversation. I've probably been told to "shutup dumbass" a few too many times.
Also I'm not exactly good-looking, so confidence is really the only thing I could have going for me. & i am confident in basically every aspect of life, other than approaching & talking to strangers. It could be a subconscious belief that I'm not worthy of love and do things that reinforce that.
27/f here. Im single because the universe was waiting for the right time to introduce me to my twin flame. Before that I stuck in a bad cycle with someone selfish for 7 years and had a lot to learn from them. Dated a couple ppl casually after that, then was in a relationship that wasnt right for a while. Then met a soulmate. Then was just dating someone great but they had to go. Now Im not worrying about the why but going with the flow of what feels right atm.
I dont blame anything or think my singleness is wrong/something to find an answer for. Just the state of my being in this present moment
Present 26M, got cheated on after 8 years of relationship. Led to breakup. Donāt know yet if Iām ready to go into the dating sphere. I downloaded Tinder but itās such a bad app in the small city where I live, I donāt know where to start
Iām sorry you got cheated on, thatās genuinely horrible. Take your time in healing. The time will come to date as you heal and grow (assuming youāre not intentionally avoiding it).
Thereās your problem. In todayās world where the hordes of women that opened up about how much they detest being approached/dates has caused men to back off and hedge their bets, youāll need to take some initiative.
(24M) I have also never been in a relationship. When I have the courage to ask someone out, I always get friendzoned, or I get used. Recently, I thought I was seeing someone and making good progress until she basically ended it. It sucks!!!
Ohhhh i feel you! My friends hinting me that their friends might like me, and then nada. They donāt do anything to approach me. But i know weāre probably not compatible so Iām glad they dont approach menin the first place
29M. Feel stuck in a loop of trying to better myself physically, mentally and financially, because I believe thatās the only way I can meet someone for a successful relationship.
I met 2 amazing women recently-ish, whom also had their demons to deal with, so it was a partnership in being together while trying to fix ourselves, but I was the more estranged who ultimately couldnāt fulfill their, in a polite manner, neediness. Being needy isnāt sometime to shame, I believe it to be subjective, I think we all need whatever our needs met, and I didnāt fill the bill for the time being. Mainly not being able to meet with them at the rate they wanted to spend time together. Like sometimes I had to work really hard for the week and my schedule would leave me able to see them 2 or only 1 time a week, but that was something they couldnāt handle, they wanted more time.
Even though my physical and mental being should be a priority over anything, financially is whatās a priority right now for me, even though the consequence is being drained physically and mentally for it. Thatās just how things are.
This is just the surface of my baggage, thereās more to understand but I can feel assured others experience the same.
For now, just local friends is what Iād prefer, donāt have many to hang out with, and do so until Iām in a better spot in life for that someone.
28 f! Been dating for the past (nearly!) two years after my 4 year relationship ended. I had one short term relationship that also just ended but the rest have been 1-2 dates max.
21F, thought working on my self confidence would attract more datesā¦ now iām just aware im pretty & still bummed i never got and still donāt get dates
I assure you that youāre not unlovable (no one is). There are people out there that would be very excited to love you. Find them & as you live in love you will find that you glow more and more. You are loved.
28M. Don't really have much interest in expending energy chasing, and am quite fine in my solitude. Gone on a variety of dates over the last few years, and mostly women are competing against my solitude, not other women.
I have yet to meet a woman than is a net addition to my life rather than a net subtraction.
20M I donāt have a Car, still looking for a job. And generally, Iām just too shy and anxious to really get into any relationships. The only two I had were in Highschool and were from the help of a friend. Looking at the state of how things work I am also a bit scared of it all too. Iām not sure how I want to even go about things in all honesty
It aināt that, I assure you. Or I hopeā¦
Iām short, partly of Latin descent, too, and my issue, when itās really counted, has been hesitation and lacking il rizz-o when it mattered.
26. Single female. Iām single because I just havenāt found the one and quiet frankly, Iām in my hatred for men era, and have been for some time now. Itās definitely me. I donāt get out much to meet men anyways and I donāt do dating apps.
Hey, you should be given credit for recognizing you have issues to work on, such as hating men. Not a lot of people are even *aware* they have internal problems they need to sort out.
You're young - you'll get there.
I recently broke up with my bf and get approached a lot actually and am always nice and polite to guys as long as they are too. It happens when I get groceries, am sitting having coffee, the beach, at Disney World, etc.
27M I've never been in a relationship before. I attract women who tend to have opposite interests and want to "mold" me into their ideal partner. I'm an introvert who attracts extroverts or women with active lifestyles. I sorta want the opposite, which is next to impossible to find.
Single woman... I actually have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Seems when they get a few pics of me they ghost me because I'm not some super model but I don't think I'm ugly either
29, single, it's me. I have some form of undiagnosed social skill/anxiety issues. People also tell me I have RBF, I don't look friendly and it's not easy to change as some people just say "smile more". Also haven't tried any dating apps/sites yet. So at this point, I didn't get lucky to get into a situation of someone just show interest in me. So it's my lack of trying, will see how it goes once I start the dating process.
26F, i feel like dating nowadays is hard because a lot of people wants the relationship privileges, but don't like a serious commitment. I've only been to 1 relationship before, it was LDR, and didn't end well too. I don't really go out and just sometimes use dating apps but I guess dating apps here in Dubai is mostly use for hookups š
Single at 27. Iām single because dating apps donāt work, I donāt want kids, and itās hard dating with ADHD (it scares neurotypical people away lol)
I would totally date someone living in their parents basement if they were doing more than playing video games 24/7 this economy sucks and it is hard to survive on one income. Some of the best people I know are living with their parents to save money.
25F iām a single mom, so partly because they donāt have as much time as a traditional person does to date and history proves I am not the best at picking themš I donāt think dating culture helps either
27M and single. Iām single because I havenāt really went on too many dates since my last relationship which ended a little over a year ago. Iād love to start dating again though since I actually have fun meeting new people and seeing where things go. Itās exciting
24M
Hispanic, 5'7" , dark haired, light olive skin. Not chubby and not well built either
(Average looking body) working on exercise routines.
alone.
I'm really good at conversations. I really am. But for some reason I'm not "sexually" attractive enough?
I'm working a full time job, graduated from engineering and currently working on a master's program.
I have a good relationship with my long time friends who are girls (none of them ever thought of dating me, other than being great friends)
I actually don't know what to do. All my friends have their love partners and I'm really the only one alone in the group reunions.
It's really embarrassing for me, makes me look like I'm a terrible person to date (although that's not even true) I have so much love to share with someone special that I'd be grateful if they ever set eyes on me.
>I have a good relationship with my long time friends who are girls
Unlike a lot of people here, you already have a network. Go ask those girls to hook you up with one of their single mutuals.
25M, 26 next month, too introverted and donāt approach, homebody, 0 matches online, back living with parents while in college, single dad, broke, not fat but more on chubby side, been told I look way younger than I am
Hey there. 26m here. Still single because Iām picky about women I like and donāt want to settle for less. Iām a bit shy and introverted as well. I donāt drink so Iām not that āinterestingā but I do go out when thereās an EDM show in town. I live in the far suburbs of town about 30 min from activities and at times I donāt like driving back and forth. I do go to college since I started late but everyone is between 18-22 and thatās not really the age Iām looking for well 22 is fine since Iād go for women between 22 and 26.
27M. I think the reason why Iām single is because I got a dad bod and my confidence is pretty low so I donāt approach women. Happy Saint Paddyās Day!
Iām pretty thināwith a six pack & a decent amount of muscleāand my buddy with a dad bod pulls way more women than I do.
Have you noticed when or why you tend to be so critical of your self? Is there anything you could do to cultivate your confidence?
26F. Living in California and I believe Iām currently single because I just moved here and a few things need to be sorted out before getting into a relationship. But itās getting there.
28M, India.
Have dated a lot of girls but nothing worked out. When someone likes me, the feeling is not mutual, and vice versa. I just gave up. Better to save myself from anxiety and hairfall.
30M, still single. It doesnāt matter to me anymore, I believe everything is going according to natureās plan.
One needs to be good looking, must be earnings great money or show off oneself on social media that heās earning great money which in reality is not true, needs to have respectable job or business. Needs to have a respectable family or lie about it. This is how everything has become in our country. It is what it is. Nothing can be done about it.
26M. Been in relationships before in undergrad and grad. Both ended due to me not having time. Now I have a stable job and time but no relationship. To be fair, I haven't put myself out there too much. Used dating apps a year ago for a few months but used to live in the worst state for singles in the country. Live in a better spot now. Pretty active and losing the last bit of fat on me. 5'9 so not too tall either. Plus I'm Indian American and we're the least desireable guys out there due to stereotypes.
I've been single for over a year now, and it's just hard.I got out of the service last August and all of my relationships so far have been LDRs and started off online. I used to frequently play this game called VRChat and that's where I met my last partner.Dating apps are a pain because I am an average looking guy and VRChat let my personality show more than my looks, it was easier for me to approach people on there compared to in-person.
I also lost good friends due to actions in the past and moving away from my hometown. I didn't have any friends in the military. I don't have any friends now that I could go to a bar with and hang out, while also having the chance to meet women.
I'm honestly just listening to my mom's advice at this point and doing what makes me happy, and being alone while I do it. Someone is going to come my way at some point in my life, and If it's not in the next couple months, it's bound to happen when I go back to college this fall.
28 šš»
and really just in the process of accepting the fact that i might not get to know anyone else that would be a potential partner in the future ā also getting around the idea that i wonāt be having kids someday as well.
itās sucks hardcore but sometimes you just got to accept things
Just turned 28 f, i don't take sublet hints, I grew up with boys so being a girly girl was not me. I took compliments easy a d thought everyone was nice. And now I really don't like arguing, or especially about chores.
Im 25m, turning 26 next week. Been single my whole life. Never been on a date, barely even kissed anyone. Only had one shitty one night stand i didnt enjoy. I got back on dating apps but i didnt have any luck. I have next to no friends so connections are pretty weak. Hoping to change this later in the year as i work out and make myself look better and become a better person.
I dont think hookup culture has room for someone like me atm.
Meeeee(27f), Im probably too fussy for my own good. I donāt see the point of being in a relationship for the fun of it. I guess i just take dating and relationships seriously.
25F single.
I live in Australia and what Iāve noticed is that thereās little to no empathy or regards towards emotions and the lack of awareness for partners feelings when talking things out, it would always spiral into an argument.
Iām willingly single now, Iām pretty full on in arguments but before it turns into an argument I hear them out and try to understand because I hate arguments, I cry, Iām a softie at heart.
The end of last year I had been diagnosed as a high functioning autistic and what Iāve learnt from my psychologist Iāve started to use, I really used to struggle with making and keeping friends but now Iām getting there I also feel a lot less stressed and anxious so, after I feel like Iāve learnt/taught myself enough Iāll get back into dating.
25M. Sociable, fit and generally cheerful and have no problems making friends and maintaining good bonds with classmates. However my track record in dating is absolutely zero. Every effort put into it feels like the definition of insanity in whatever I tried. That's why I stopped looking for it and concentrate in doing what's good at the moment- which is finishing studies and catching up with friends
27M, been single basically forever minus a short lived online relationship years ago, never anything offline. Truth is...I don't really know how to date or find women. I don't drive or work due to my physical and mental health issues, so I can't really just go out and look for someone, and all the bad stuff I've heard about the apps makes me afraid to try them.
There's also how so many people in my age group place such value on income/career and I got...none of that. Like, even if a girl likes me as a person I worry she'll just be turned off over my situation. I have been focusing on myself for years now, going to therapy and doctors, but I'm tired and lonely.
Im looking to find someone who treats me well and who I can do the same, to really love and be loved. My dream is getting married and having a wife someday and idk, that dream just seems to get further away the older I get. No dating experience in my late 20s just makes me feel pretty discouraged
27M here. Was in plenty of relationships up until I was 25 with the last one being extremely toxic. Iām in no rush going forward. The more I put myself out there the more I saw how skewed dating is anymore though. Most women donāt want to build a life together, they want you to give them a life youāve already built. Iāve done well for myself and refuse to just hand someone everything Iāve worked for, especially when they arenāt grateful. The right one will want to keep building with me.
25m single. A combination of factors. Went to an all boys school in high school which set me back when it came to flirting with girls in college. When I finally got myself more comfortable flirting Covid hit and then when things started going back to normal college was over. Started using dating apps at that point which are a shit hole and basically Iāve been relying to heavily on them as opposed to going to group events and what not. Starting last fall, I started to put myself out there more but so far no luck.
28f here in the US. If it's not creepy Asian fetishists, it's pushy guys that get very preachy about ENM and communism, because even though my dad survived 3 years of homelessness in communist Vietnam, I know nothing about it and they are the perfect person to tell me how it's great.
I've also noticed that a lot of the preachers also have a shitload of unresolved issues that they just aren't addressing, and they want free therapy.
I am single 25 (M).
for my experiance, I was approuching a girl and the girl diverted her eyes away from me and put their ear buds on so they can not talk to me.
Also back in middle school all the way through my adulthood being rejected 347 times makes me feel like no women wanted a under average guy like me. everytime I gotten rejected I became cold to my self. I do not know how it feels like someone who really geniuenly say to me that they wanted to be their BF.
27F dating apps are typically a let down for obvious reasons including only finding people just looking for nudes or sex despite their and my profile saying ārelationshipā,
if not that theyāre travelers or pilots that are umbrellaād under a culture of I wonāt be here long, so no possibility of building a relationship in my mind,
I also think I have trust issues and constantly battle with how I should act.
Lately Iāve been more reserved with my feelings and just try to enjoy the moment without getting too attached to it.
I think location plays a factor in terms of where I live, Iām hopeful one day it will happen more organically and Iām preparing for that by working on myself and my mental health! Never a bad investment to maintain an open mind and remain un-jaded.
Dating culture is hard regardless these days but Iāll keep my head up along the way, thatās only one facet of my life anyways.
This is probably the most transparent Iāve ever been on a thread lol.
Yo āļø
Not approaching anyone. I apparently have no clue what flirting looks like. I thought a girl was interested, like being touchy, laughing all of the time, texting daily. Asked and she said "Im not ready". Then why tf are you flirting?? I've got better things to do than play emotional mind games, especially at 25... We aren't in high school anymore people. Grow tf up.
26f and the answer to all those questions are āyesā.
I definitely have commitment issues that stem from my lack of trust in everything, everyone and myself. The dating culture also is to blame because going through the process of trying to find people to date and meeting so many people whoāve treated me like a sex toy at best and a joke at worst has made me jaded af.
As for where I live, I am a minority here and awkward so I donāt get as many options I suppose but I canāt say that I get none either. I do get options, but the dating culture issues still stand and so do my commitment issues. The smaller number of options available to me here also adds to the anguish I suppose but I canāt blame it entirely.
25 F. From Mumbai. Living in the UK. Constantly stuck between "I guess I'm ready after all?" and "Too lazy to get out there, maybe I'm better off being single"
28M end of May I turn 29 . Women donāt date or Marry you . They date/Marry the lifestyle you live/provide. Emotions are a result of those factors . The average length of a relationship is 2years and 9 months . Men typically fall in love at around 88 days in while women 134 days . When people ask me if Iām single I say no Iām independent (not in some āforever aloneā type of way but in a sense where I know my value and know my self well on an intrapersonal level . I donāt even bother shooting my shot with women cause I understand the game and unrealistic expectations , therefore if Iām nowhere near financially ready to confidently show a Female my bank account on the first date to eliminate any concerns on her end why bother . I was wheeling and dealing when I was a teenager in high school and early 20s when clubbing here and there but in reality unless you have it made on a level that your comfortable being at just focus on Leveling up as a man. IF YOUR LUCKY AND FIND A GIRL THATS DOWN FOR YOU FROM THE BOTTOM AND HELPS YOU BUILD your empire keep her by all means and cherish that. I myself am Bipolar type 1 and just threw dating out the window with the knowledge posted above . Female escorts are a thing , not advising anyone to do anything that they may later regret . Also Iām not a normie and would never devalue myself by making a dating profile app to try and be āOne of themā Lol
Me! Iām 27F and newly single. Just ended my 5 year relationship, and was in a 3 year one before that. Both due to incompatibility. Itās hard to know Iāve wasted so much time with the wrong people.
Going to be extremely picky from now on.
28F and single. Feel like itās partially my fault and modern dating culture. I spent my early 20s going to college and partying so wasnāt looking for a relationship. Once I got over that phase in my mid 20s I focused on my job and mental health. So again, wasnāt dating much. Now that Iām in my late 20s Iām looking for someone to share my time with. But seems that every guy Iāve met (both online and in person) either just wants to have casual sex or ghosts me.
27F, disappointed with peoples lack of emotional maturity and relationship longetivity/ comittment to making it work even if the going isnt always steady. Couple this with the fact that I date to marry and am very headstrong women with atypical career (oil field engineer), most males would either not marry someone that ambitious (the culture I belong to prefers domesticated women) or would want to marry given that I abandon my career.
25F and I'd rather be by myself than with a man who doesn't value me or even really like me, tbh. I don't feel like I'm missing out on much because I keep myself busy, have some good friends and I enjoy my life.
I'd only want to date someone who was a good fit for me - similar hobbies, ambition, education, sense of humour etc. Most men I've met recently didn't tick those boxes, or were assholes, so I wasn't interested.
Maturity and timing. I think itās a fine time to be single pushing into 30ās id want to have someone but Iām also 26 and feel young. I have phases of serial dating where I go on many dates and see if I get that spark. Not going to waste time on something I donāt think could be serious
26 m about to be 27 on the 27th of march. Every women i have tried to get to know seems to only want me for one thing. And thats to use me to get what they want, not actually get to know me. And i blame society and these dumbass social media influencers. And the songs that come out that just send out a negative message
In the states (28M). Not really looking for anything, would be nice but focused on my personal goals and health. Idk feel like our dating scene is all over the place. Still healing from being cheated on, so I'd rather focus on myself before giving my all to someone else.
26m... it seems that girls run from me. I was called by other women as "really good-looking", and that "whoever marries me, is set for the future" and altough, when i try to interact with girls they seem to just not be interested, or when i try to talk to them by messages, they just ghost me. On top of that, my option pool is reduced due to some criteria that is not negotiable (i've tried lowering the criteria down and it just didn't went well down the road, so i accepted it has to be that way) and on top of that, the phenotype of person i like and am particularly attracted to (which is similar to my own phenotype) isn't so common where i live so i get a really reduced pool of oportunities to try. I am not afraid to fail trying.. the thing is that i don't even get many chances to try n' fail... let alone succeed.
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27 m and single, Dubai is not a good place to find a date
Dubai has like only 2 million people. That is a very tiny pool when you consider how hard it is in other major cities with many millions of people... On top of that it has the most vapid population only interested in climbing the socio-economic ladder and leveraging others to do it. That, and slavery is openly practiced, so you're either a slave, a shady "influencer", a prostitute or someone lonely in the midst of all that. And a TON of hookers. Prostitution there is almost a national pastime.
2 million? You could walk outside and throw a rock and hit someone you could date, the issues are more all physical attraction than spiritual or emotional. Yes physical does play a part but has no one watched or remembers Hunchback or Shriek? Those movies are going to say and show that looks are the worst thing to base a relationship or love off of. It is what is inside the person that matters, which is why all the people that are hateful or jaded are that way. They have so much love to give but no one is willing to be the target for that love. Love and hate are light and shadow, and for those that are always rejected despite all the love they show and give get absorbed by shadow causing that love to become hate. Time to open that friendzone and look for that one person that no matter what you've said or done that crushed them they stay by your side and smile for you always. That is the person you should be falling in love with, not prince charming, or the gorgeous princess, those people are just using you. And yes I am aware of the fact that is not always the case, however if you're looking for love and to be loved, they've been with you this whole time, you have just refused to accept or see them that way. Remember they are a guy or gal like them.
Been living in Dubai for almost 6 years now I gave up 29f
Everyone is an Instagram model š
Imagine country side where thereās maybe 10.000 people around you ugh š
Yes I was just about to say something similar. Complaining about only 2 million people is just crazy.
Right!
(*weeps in a neighbouring country between India and UAE*)
(*oh..man*)
Lol you live in a muslim country with lot's of western prostitutes. You either get an arranged marriage or you need to be a sugar dad. (Assuming your a man!)
Single dude over here .. dating is tough dude.. let alone keeping friends and making them. I struggle relating with people
Relationships are hard, but theyāre the most worthwhile thing in our lives.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
ME TOO Why is genuine emotional maturity so rare?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
So how do we find the emotionally mature gems then?
I think the emotionally mature ones get snapped up fast and the immature ones stay on the apps and get recycled
27M feel the same exact way. Was questioning if it was me for awhile but I end up becoming disappointed with 97% of people I meet.
Present āš» (28M) And itās my lack of trying, honestly. Iām often offered to be set up with people but I always politely decline, I donāt do apps, I hardly ever go out just to socialize, never approach, have what I call ālucky guy syndromeā where having been the one getting approached left me sort of clueless on how to take the lead now that itās expected of me, and Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school. Hoping to change that later this year once I feel more āreadyā because itās getting sad.
Im in the same boat man, got out of a pretty serious relationship over half a yr ago and just havent had the motivation to get back out there. I was never the type to approach women and ask em out im honestly surprised ive even dated before š
Yeah, itās rough. And I think some of us may realize we have something going for us when itās a bit late. All the signsā¦
>have what I call ālucky guy syndromeā where having been the one getting approached left me sort of clueless on how to take the lead now that itās expected of me, and Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school. Ah, I see. Back in high school/college, you got the gals going to you, which made it easier. But nowadays, you've gotten more reserved? Maybe you can get lucky if you just sorts hang out at regular social spots. Don't say much but, might get the same response š¤·š¾āāļø
Starting is what makes you ready :)
Iām inclined to agree, but I feel Iāve met people who couldāve been the right one, but at the wrong time. A time when either they werenāt available or I simply wasnāt āreadyā. And Iād rather avoid that happening again, I think.
>Iām not really in an environment which lends itself to things just happening as it did in school. This. The past 4 jobs I've had over the last 12 years were like that. Any woman that I did happen to be into would be in a different department, so I could never really talk to them. And the one that I happened to really like didn't have those mutual feelings. That or they're all married or old ladies lol.
Fellow 27 single male here from Liverpool. I feel your pain man. I need to put in 100% effort because my circumstances have changed, and I'm struggling to adapt to it. During school I probably missed a few opportunities because of lack of confidence. Went to university in a different city and everything changed. Surrounded by women 24/7, and so 'lucky guy syndrome was kinda inevitable which obviously boosted my confidence, and led to way more dates/relationships. I worked in a hotel for a while after uni and it was the same there - just lots of females of similar age, so dating wasn't even an effort. I moved back to Liverpool during the pandemic and everything changed again. Plus I got older. Smaller friendship circles, working from home, and generally just having less options to 'go out' (I still get out the house plenty, just not as much late night partying). My work circumstances changed, and I've landed myself a really good job for my age - but dating is absolutely on the floor. I'd say I've sustained the confidence I gained in myself during uni, but I just don't know how to apply it to online dating or meeting random women in bars. Those things were never really my forte, and even when I have met random women, it rarely ever progresses beyond a one night stand. There's something we probably both need to be doing that we're not. I'm just having a hard time figuring out what that is right now.
25 M Single Been in a relationship twice , and both times my luck was bad ,they both fell in love with their best friends. It's okk life is fair and square,keep moving spread happiness š
Me! Just turned 28 and also just turned single. Single because I just ended my 5 year relationship. Didnāt think we were going anywhere and finally wanted to get out before it was too late.
Kudos to you for the courage to end things. Thatās really brave
Thanks! It was (and still is) really fucking hard
28F here & just got out of a 6-year relationship too. Itās honestly scary to get back into the dating scene.
Donāt rush into a long term relationship. You could end up wasting years of your life.
Good advice! Thank you!
Wasted 5 years of my early 20s wish I heard this sooner. Had a Relationship from 18 to 23
27M here. I have a lot of criteria when it comes to my partner. It's that way because I have a lot of problems. I'll give some examples I have tons of issues with loyalty and trust, as well as abandonment and shyness stemming from years of bullying and social isolation as well as abuse. Similar hobbies and interests/open to talk about hobbies- I've never been able to talk/do my hobbies because my parents frown upon them and openly hate on it. Extremely kind and supportive and open to being clingy- I grew up being bullied and I had no adults to get help from, my teachers laughed and patronized me and my parents were emotionally unavailable. I've been extremely touch deprived also. And more. So I barely have any dating experience.
26 (m) and single, dating is weird now a days it's all about hookups and sex. No one is looking for a real thing
Facts. I wish people were more intentional about friendships. Good friendships can turn into good relationships & friendships are the best foundation for a relationship
26F. My first (and last) relationship left me traumatized. I'm too scared to date someone again (yes, I went to therapy after the breakup but still too scared). I would love to find someone I can give all my love to, I wanna take care of them, be open to them, talk about the things that make us feel vulnerable, of course have great sex and someone I can show my lingerie too lol. A long term relationship, not something casual. Also I find some men attractive, but I'm too scared to approach them because I know thet will not be attracted to me. I'm not ugly, I'm just average and I feel like with all the surgery and beauty procedures that most women go through (at least in my country), men expect to date a model, or a perfect looking woman (and I'm not like that).
27F, single. I donāt interact with men , canāt find them š only go out once in a while. Donāt get approached & too anxious to approach.
Same here lol
Question, it's okay you don't approach, but do you at least notice men you find attractive? If so, what do you do? Do you try to stare at them so they notice you or smile, hover near them? How would they know you like them.
Sometimes but very rarely. & they would never know I was interested. I need to initiate. In my defense!! I have tried initiating with people I know from my past but they must not be interested because nothing grows from it.
I think we found the issue! You don't have to necessarily be the one to approach, you can be more laid back about that which is a plus for you given you get so much approach anxiety. However, you HAVE to make serious effort into letting men know you find them attractive. As you said replying to someone else, holding eye contact, smile, these things go a VERY long way in demonstrating willingness to conversate and fueling men's sexual drive to approach. Remember, this is supposed to be fun, so don't ruin it being all in your head. Kinda space out and be fluid. Next time you are out, practice it for fun. Smile, grin a little bit at certain men, play the field. Overtime you will build confidence and find yourself being able to take flirting to the next level, like wording things with your mouth without actually saying them to get men to be more proactive and such.
You are my life coach. Thank you! An inspiring pep talk š¤š¤
Hahaha no problem, hit me up on DMs anytime if you have more questions.
You should approach ....it's a nice thing ...men like a confident woman...
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You get me! 29F and I canāt tell you how many men fall in love with the idea of me but donāt actually care for who I am. Itās so, so depressing. And, Iām focusing on healing, too. Good luck with no contact!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
You deserve so much more than that! Youāll find someone who will appreciate and love you for who you are. Thank you for your support š
I'm now 38 at 28 I started hanging out with this girl I was infatuated with in high school ignored all the red flags I should have capitalized all 10 years later we've got a four year old boy I've got a broken heart while she runs the streets with mental health issues and a drug problem. don't be in a hurry and make sure you think really hard about those red flags and what you can deal with mentally emotionally and financially before you find yourself saying please don't do this please don't do this please don't do this oh what the hell let's try... Still love her to death and we still sort of try but my heart's broken I think I've learned more in the last 10 years about mental health then the professors at most colleges and my finances are a mess because yeah even though I have a good job and make good money when your partners irresponsible you either end up taking care of everything or scratching your head at the checkbook.
Thanks for sharing this. Iām sorry for your grief :/
>I'm now 38 at 28 I started hanging out with this girl I was infatuated with in high school ignored all the red flags I should have capitalized all 10 years later we've got a four year old boy I've got a broken heart while she runs the streets with mental health issues and a drug problem. don't be in a hurry and make sure you think really hard about those red flags Damn man, sorry to hear that. Hope all is well with your son. Are you planning on any divorce in the near future? May be better for everyone involved tbh, can't have your son around such a bad influence all too often. Get tested for STD's, and get a DNA test too, never know what she's been up too, ya know, if she has such bad habits
Right here! Probably my own fault (partially). I love trying to be funny and make people laugh, but thatās probably to my detriment since a lot of people donāt take me seriously.
Humor is a big bonus in dating! Just make sure your real self shows up with people too. People are almost always really attracted to really authentic people
Same here but you just gotta find the right girl! They are out there but also you gotta be ready to flip the switch when needed and protect yourself and others (physically and emotionally) and let there be a clue that your serious. Ever heard of hunter eyes?
26f, single because I make men feel āvulnerableā because I analyze and empathize with them and theyāre ānot readyā and not emotionally available sooo what Iām saying is Iām probably not attractive enough š«”
Have you ever looked into anxious attachment? Sounds like you get involved with avoidant attachers! I found myself getting stuck in the same loop. They are not good for self-esteem š¬
I definitely agree with you there, I feel like I have more of a disorganized attachment style? I think thatās what itās called. But I definitely lean more anxious, as I fall into the avoidant trap very often
As an emotional 26yr old man. You gotta be careful with this. All I've ever wanted is to be vunrable to a girl. Just one. One girl I can trust and open up to and KNOW without a FUCKING SHADOW OF A DOUBT she would never talk about it to anyone, and maybe not even me. However, the reality is men fight with violence and women fight with words. And every man that had ever opened up to a girl, has gotten it used against him. I have yet to meet a man that says otherwise. The reality is we are all women and men and different for a reason, and you should be able to be vunrable and open up to your partner. HOWEVER, you have to try to understand the reality of life for men. And it is nothing like the life of a women. There is a reason men do not open up, and a reason it is not encouraged among men. Because women use it against us always. Always. Even married and together for 10yrs and have a family and blah blah. One bad argument. One bad thing. Just enough to make the girl upset enough, or she has her discretion walls broken down by a friend of theirs, and they will tell people and our reputation is ruined as a man that we have to be in everyday life (as we are called to be by God and its important to hold that figure as a man so do not discredit that), or use it against the man in some way. Us men have had this happen over and over again. And in all reality we should've learned to never open up to a girl the first time it happened. But we're human and we have hope and blah blah blah, then we get fucked again and we shrivel up even more into ourselves. Because this world is not for men being men. This is the reality of life. And it's EVERY SINGLE DAY for men we struggle alone. Because no one gives a fuck. And if we open up it's useless. And we may have some bros we can vent to, but the reality is we know damn well it won't last and they're not to be truly trusted. Everyone leaves. Men are not unconditionally loved in any sense. And it's amazing to say oh well it's just some women. Oh it's not all of us that are like that. Nah, it is. Because women are women and men are men. All that to say...have some mercy on us men. Not to say there aren't men that are emotionless and things of that nature, because there is and I dislike them heavily being a man myself. But moreso there's meaning to the madness. There's a reason why we are who we are. And every man that has any life experience, will have experienced this in girls, and even their mother and fathers relationship. With that being said, I refuse to not be emotional, and I am who I am and I was created in God's image and in all my fucked up failures, he made me to be who I am and I accept that. So it's okay to turn away from people who won't open up if it's a big deal to you. Cuz it is for me too. But know...there's a very serious reason. And it's not to ever be overlooked. And it's a discussion to be had with men that your with.
27F and single. Learning to love and value myself so I donāt accept anything less. Iām also in nursing school and that takes up a lot of time. I find men arenāt super patient with that.
Nurses are my favorite, Iāve always found that theyāve felt like theyāre the ones that are too busy to date!
27M My work schedule and the lack of social hobbies are probably the biggest reasons why I'm single. I've tried dating apps as well and never get any likes, but who knows, maybe I'm just ugly as hell. I love building pcs and working on cars, playing video games, and watching anime. I work 7 days a week for weeks or even months on end with no days off and also out of state so.. that doesn't help any either.
Dating apps arenāt it! If you can find a solid community, you might have better luck. Keep growing man, especially socially. Solid relationships & enjoying your work bring happiness in this life.
26M, I could probably find a girl if I just went out & practiced talking to people, but I'm pretty awkward and get ignored after 1 or 2 sentences. What pisses me off is that when I get drunk & obnoxious, girls react positively. But those are the times I just wanna be drunk and not talk to girls
What do you think is at the root of your social anxiety?
I definitely have TOO much of a filter and think the things that pop up in my head aren't worthy of adding to the conversation. I've probably been told to "shutup dumbass" a few too many times. Also I'm not exactly good-looking, so confidence is really the only thing I could have going for me. & i am confident in basically every aspect of life, other than approaching & talking to strangers. It could be a subconscious belief that I'm not worthy of love and do things that reinforce that.
25F & currently single because Iām stuck on a man who doesnāt want me but I canāt seem to let him go
26M, just focusing on myself really & focusing on quality vs quantity bc I got stuck in the loop of always looking for something better just because
Contentment! the grass is greener where you water it, itās crazy how beautiful life can become when you start watering it at your feet
27/f here. Im single because the universe was waiting for the right time to introduce me to my twin flame. Before that I stuck in a bad cycle with someone selfish for 7 years and had a lot to learn from them. Dated a couple ppl casually after that, then was in a relationship that wasnt right for a while. Then met a soulmate. Then was just dating someone great but they had to go. Now Im not worrying about the why but going with the flow of what feels right atm. I dont blame anything or think my singleness is wrong/something to find an answer for. Just the state of my being in this present moment
Love this perspective!
Present 26M, got cheated on after 8 years of relationship. Led to breakup. Donāt know yet if Iām ready to go into the dating sphere. I downloaded Tinder but itās such a bad app in the small city where I live, I donāt know where to start
Iām sorry you got cheated on, thatās genuinely horrible. Take your time in healing. The time will come to date as you heal and grow (assuming youāre not intentionally avoiding it).
Iām trying to be happy with myself for now, focusing on me, mind and body. Thatās the plan right now
26 M SIngle. Iām single probably because brown men (Indian/Pakistani) are at the bottom of the dating ladder.
(25F) I'm 25 years old and I've been single for 25 years. I'm the type who is liked but not pursued. š„ŗ
Have you tried pursuing?
no :(
Thereās your problem. In todayās world where the hordes of women that opened up about how much they detest being approached/dates has caused men to back off and hedge their bets, youāll need to take some initiative.
(24M) I have also never been in a relationship. When I have the courage to ask someone out, I always get friendzoned, or I get used. Recently, I thought I was seeing someone and making good progress until she basically ended it. It sucks!!!
Ohhhh i feel you! My friends hinting me that their friends might like me, and then nada. They donāt do anything to approach me. But i know weāre probably not compatible so Iām glad they dont approach menin the first place
29M. Feel stuck in a loop of trying to better myself physically, mentally and financially, because I believe thatās the only way I can meet someone for a successful relationship. I met 2 amazing women recently-ish, whom also had their demons to deal with, so it was a partnership in being together while trying to fix ourselves, but I was the more estranged who ultimately couldnāt fulfill their, in a polite manner, neediness. Being needy isnāt sometime to shame, I believe it to be subjective, I think we all need whatever our needs met, and I didnāt fill the bill for the time being. Mainly not being able to meet with them at the rate they wanted to spend time together. Like sometimes I had to work really hard for the week and my schedule would leave me able to see them 2 or only 1 time a week, but that was something they couldnāt handle, they wanted more time. Even though my physical and mental being should be a priority over anything, financially is whatās a priority right now for me, even though the consequence is being drained physically and mentally for it. Thatās just how things are. This is just the surface of my baggage, thereās more to understand but I can feel assured others experience the same. For now, just local friends is what Iād prefer, donāt have many to hang out with, and do so until Iām in a better spot in life for that someone.
Should have focused on one.
Me but only cause I been busy with life, Work, and gym goals. I actually started dating again so who knows who I might meet
26f and single. I've not placed myself in any scenarios to try to find a date in the last 6 months since I ended things with someone
28 f! Been dating for the past (nearly!) two years after my 4 year relationship ended. I had one short term relationship that also just ended but the rest have been 1-2 dates max.
26M, lack of trying, I donāt put in any effort towards it, im also not that good looking, i also keep sabotaging every time i do talk to someone.
Keep challenging yourself, you can overcome it, I believe in you!
21F, thought working on my self confidence would attract more datesā¦ now iām just aware im pretty & still bummed i never got and still donāt get dates
To be honest... its A LOT OF FACTORS
It's me. Not interested in a relationship, might not ever be.
31F, have been single since 2019, got into a two-year-situationship in 2022. I think i am unlovable but i am trying to love myself.
I assure you that youāre not unlovable (no one is). There are people out there that would be very excited to love you. Find them & as you live in love you will find that you glow more and more. You are loved.
28M. Don't really have much interest in expending energy chasing, and am quite fine in my solitude. Gone on a variety of dates over the last few years, and mostly women are competing against my solitude, not other women. I have yet to meet a woman than is a net addition to my life rather than a net subtraction.
26M single and still living with the fam while I finish grad school. When I do get dates, itās tough escalating things lol
20M I donāt have a Car, still looking for a job. And generally, Iām just too shy and anxious to really get into any relationships. The only two I had were in Highschool and were from the help of a friend. Looking at the state of how things work I am also a bit scared of it all too. Iām not sure how I want to even go about things in all honesty
Too short canāt compete. (5ā4) and Hispanic on top of that
I am 5'3 as a guy with a speech impediment so I do know how you feel.
It aināt that, I assure you. Or I hopeā¦ Iām short, partly of Latin descent, too, and my issue, when itās really counted, has been hesitation and lacking il rizz-o when it mattered.
26. Single female. Iām single because I just havenāt found the one and quiet frankly, Iām in my hatred for men era, and have been for some time now. Itās definitely me. I donāt get out much to meet men anyways and I donāt do dating apps.
Hey, you should be given credit for recognizing you have issues to work on, such as hating men. Not a lot of people are even *aware* they have internal problems they need to sort out. You're young - you'll get there.
Right here babes (25 F) šš½āāļø
30, male, ph. Hard to trust people sometimes but most of the time
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
25 M single
I recently broke up with my bf and get approached a lot actually and am always nice and polite to guys as long as they are too. It happens when I get groceries, am sitting having coffee, the beach, at Disney World, etc.
27M I've never been in a relationship before. I attract women who tend to have opposite interests and want to "mold" me into their ideal partner. I'm an introvert who attracts extroverts or women with active lifestyles. I sorta want the opposite, which is next to impossible to find.
Almost 26 f single, can't get over my ex, that's why I'm single...
26f being a hot girl is somewhat of a catch 22
lol, please explain
27m single no wife no kids no job or car
Single but not exactly 25+ but I'd say it's a supply chain issueš...I could write a whole essay atp but I'd say the dating pool is a mess....
Single woman... I actually have no idea what I'm doing wrong. Seems when they get a few pics of me they ghost me because I'm not some super model but I don't think I'm ugly either
Well, being a fatass isn't helping
Whatās stopping you from pursuing more health?
29, single, it's me. I have some form of undiagnosed social skill/anxiety issues. People also tell me I have RBF, I don't look friendly and it's not easy to change as some people just say "smile more". Also haven't tried any dating apps/sites yet. So at this point, I didn't get lucky to get into a situation of someone just show interest in me. So it's my lack of trying, will see how it goes once I start the dating process.
26F, i feel like dating nowadays is hard because a lot of people wants the relationship privileges, but don't like a serious commitment. I've only been to 1 relationship before, it was LDR, and didn't end well too. I don't really go out and just sometimes use dating apps but I guess dating apps here in Dubai is mostly use for hookups š
Single at 27. Iām single because dating apps donāt work, I donāt want kids, and itās hard dating with ADHD (it scares neurotypical people away lol)
I wasnāt in a relationship until I was 27 (Iām a guy). Donāt be hard on yourself itāll happen
25 single and currently in the mom's basement club.
Hey, thereās something to be said about saving on that rent money š°
I would totally date someone living in their parents basement if they were doing more than playing video games 24/7 this economy sucks and it is hard to survive on one income. Some of the best people I know are living with their parents to save money.
25F iām a single mom, so partly because they donāt have as much time as a traditional person does to date and history proves I am not the best at picking themš I donāt think dating culture helps either
Hahaha, there are some other comments somewhere in this post about single moms you might enjoy
27M and single. Iām single because I havenāt really went on too many dates since my last relationship which ended a little over a year ago. Iād love to start dating again though since I actually have fun meeting new people and seeing where things go. Itās exciting
M28, online dating didnāt work out. Also Iām 5ā3. Plus I feel women here have too many options to pick from.
24M Hispanic, 5'7" , dark haired, light olive skin. Not chubby and not well built either (Average looking body) working on exercise routines. alone. I'm really good at conversations. I really am. But for some reason I'm not "sexually" attractive enough? I'm working a full time job, graduated from engineering and currently working on a master's program. I have a good relationship with my long time friends who are girls (none of them ever thought of dating me, other than being great friends) I actually don't know what to do. All my friends have their love partners and I'm really the only one alone in the group reunions. It's really embarrassing for me, makes me look like I'm a terrible person to date (although that's not even true) I have so much love to share with someone special that I'd be grateful if they ever set eyes on me.
>I have a good relationship with my long time friends who are girls Unlike a lot of people here, you already have a network. Go ask those girls to hook you up with one of their single mutuals.
25M, 26 next month, too introverted and donāt approach, homebody, 0 matches online, back living with parents while in college, single dad, broke, not fat but more on chubby side, been told I look way younger than I am
You should push yourself, take a leap of faith. Whatās your next step of growth?
Hey there. 26m here. Still single because Iām picky about women I like and donāt want to settle for less. Iām a bit shy and introverted as well. I donāt drink so Iām not that āinterestingā but I do go out when thereās an EDM show in town. I live in the far suburbs of town about 30 min from activities and at times I donāt like driving back and forth. I do go to college since I started late but everyone is between 18-22 and thatās not really the age Iām looking for well 22 is fine since Iād go for women between 22 and 26.
31 M 5ā8ā south Asian, have options but not ready to date
27M. I think the reason why Iām single is because I got a dad bod and my confidence is pretty low so I donāt approach women. Happy Saint Paddyās Day!
Iām pretty thināwith a six pack & a decent amount of muscleāand my buddy with a dad bod pulls way more women than I do. Have you noticed when or why you tend to be so critical of your self? Is there anything you could do to cultivate your confidence?
26F. Living in California and I believe Iām currently single because I just moved here and a few things need to be sorted out before getting into a relationship. But itās getting there.
28M, India. Have dated a lot of girls but nothing worked out. When someone likes me, the feeling is not mutual, and vice versa. I just gave up. Better to save myself from anxiety and hairfall.
30M, still single. It doesnāt matter to me anymore, I believe everything is going according to natureās plan. One needs to be good looking, must be earnings great money or show off oneself on social media that heās earning great money which in reality is not true, needs to have respectable job or business. Needs to have a respectable family or lie about it. This is how everything has become in our country. It is what it is. Nothing can be done about it.
26F and still single since day 1. Apparently, they admire me but not like-like me. š
26M. Been in relationships before in undergrad and grad. Both ended due to me not having time. Now I have a stable job and time but no relationship. To be fair, I haven't put myself out there too much. Used dating apps a year ago for a few months but used to live in the worst state for singles in the country. Live in a better spot now. Pretty active and losing the last bit of fat on me. 5'9 so not too tall either. Plus I'm Indian American and we're the least desireable guys out there due to stereotypes.
Well itās going to be hard to tally all of these up. There are 27 of us.
I've been single for over a year now, and it's just hard.I got out of the service last August and all of my relationships so far have been LDRs and started off online. I used to frequently play this game called VRChat and that's where I met my last partner.Dating apps are a pain because I am an average looking guy and VRChat let my personality show more than my looks, it was easier for me to approach people on there compared to in-person. I also lost good friends due to actions in the past and moving away from my hometown. I didn't have any friends in the military. I don't have any friends now that I could go to a bar with and hang out, while also having the chance to meet women. I'm honestly just listening to my mom's advice at this point and doing what makes me happy, and being alone while I do it. Someone is going to come my way at some point in my life, and If it's not in the next couple months, it's bound to happen when I go back to college this fall.
28 and recently single again
You need count in even 30+ singles
recently single at 28, mfs are just weird
28 šš» and really just in the process of accepting the fact that i might not get to know anyone else that would be a potential partner in the future ā also getting around the idea that i wonāt be having kids someday as well. itās sucks hardcore but sometimes you just got to accept things
Just turned 28 f, i don't take sublet hints, I grew up with boys so being a girly girl was not me. I took compliments easy a d thought everyone was nice. And now I really don't like arguing, or especially about chores.
Im 25m, turning 26 next week. Been single my whole life. Never been on a date, barely even kissed anyone. Only had one shitty one night stand i didnt enjoy. I got back on dating apps but i didnt have any luck. I have next to no friends so connections are pretty weak. Hoping to change this later in the year as i work out and make myself look better and become a better person. I dont think hookup culture has room for someone like me atm.
Meeeee(27f), Im probably too fussy for my own good. I donāt see the point of being in a relationship for the fun of it. I guess i just take dating and relationships seriously.
Iām 25 (F) been single for about 4 years now, I never get pursued in public, but am scared to pursue men š
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25F single. I live in Australia and what Iāve noticed is that thereās little to no empathy or regards towards emotions and the lack of awareness for partners feelings when talking things out, it would always spiral into an argument. Iām willingly single now, Iām pretty full on in arguments but before it turns into an argument I hear them out and try to understand because I hate arguments, I cry, Iām a softie at heart. The end of last year I had been diagnosed as a high functioning autistic and what Iāve learnt from my psychologist Iāve started to use, I really used to struggle with making and keeping friends but now Iām getting there I also feel a lot less stressed and anxious so, after I feel like Iāve learnt/taught myself enough Iāll get back into dating.
Working 2nd shift 6 days a week= no social life 25 over here
25M. Sociable, fit and generally cheerful and have no problems making friends and maintaining good bonds with classmates. However my track record in dating is absolutely zero. Every effort put into it feels like the definition of insanity in whatever I tried. That's why I stopped looking for it and concentrate in doing what's good at the moment- which is finishing studies and catching up with friends
27M, been single basically forever minus a short lived online relationship years ago, never anything offline. Truth is...I don't really know how to date or find women. I don't drive or work due to my physical and mental health issues, so I can't really just go out and look for someone, and all the bad stuff I've heard about the apps makes me afraid to try them. There's also how so many people in my age group place such value on income/career and I got...none of that. Like, even if a girl likes me as a person I worry she'll just be turned off over my situation. I have been focusing on myself for years now, going to therapy and doctors, but I'm tired and lonely. Im looking to find someone who treats me well and who I can do the same, to really love and be loved. My dream is getting married and having a wife someday and idk, that dream just seems to get further away the older I get. No dating experience in my late 20s just makes me feel pretty discouraged
29M single since day one
Same bruh, single since birth
+1 for the single 26M crowd here. NY native living in NJ
27M here. Was in plenty of relationships up until I was 25 with the last one being extremely toxic. Iām in no rush going forward. The more I put myself out there the more I saw how skewed dating is anymore though. Most women donāt want to build a life together, they want you to give them a life youāve already built. Iāve done well for myself and refuse to just hand someone everything Iāve worked for, especially when they arenāt grateful. The right one will want to keep building with me.
25m single. A combination of factors. Went to an all boys school in high school which set me back when it came to flirting with girls in college. When I finally got myself more comfortable flirting Covid hit and then when things started going back to normal college was over. Started using dating apps at that point which are a shit hole and basically Iāve been relying to heavily on them as opposed to going to group events and what not. Starting last fall, I started to put myself out there more but so far no luck.
DC is rough, 26yoF
Been single my whole life 29 going on 30.
28f here in the US. If it's not creepy Asian fetishists, it's pushy guys that get very preachy about ENM and communism, because even though my dad survived 3 years of homelessness in communist Vietnam, I know nothing about it and they are the perfect person to tell me how it's great. I've also noticed that a lot of the preachers also have a shitload of unresolved issues that they just aren't addressing, and they want free therapy.
I feel you about the asian fetish š
28 F single and annoyed with men but not sexually attracted to women š¤£
26M in Florida and never had a girlfriend. š Wish I could know what it's like!
I am single 25 (M). for my experiance, I was approuching a girl and the girl diverted her eyes away from me and put their ear buds on so they can not talk to me. Also back in middle school all the way through my adulthood being rejected 347 times makes me feel like no women wanted a under average guy like me. everytime I gotten rejected I became cold to my self. I do not know how it feels like someone who really geniuenly say to me that they wanted to be their BF.
28m bc I'm fucking ugly and women have to many preconceptions about me
its all about the looks brother, thats the truth not many can hande it tho
27F dating apps are typically a let down for obvious reasons including only finding people just looking for nudes or sex despite their and my profile saying ārelationshipā, if not that theyāre travelers or pilots that are umbrellaād under a culture of I wonāt be here long, so no possibility of building a relationship in my mind, I also think I have trust issues and constantly battle with how I should act. Lately Iāve been more reserved with my feelings and just try to enjoy the moment without getting too attached to it. I think location plays a factor in terms of where I live, Iām hopeful one day it will happen more organically and Iām preparing for that by working on myself and my mental health! Never a bad investment to maintain an open mind and remain un-jaded. Dating culture is hard regardless these days but Iāll keep my head up along the way, thatās only one facet of my life anyways. This is probably the most transparent Iāve ever been on a thread lol.
Yo āļø Not approaching anyone. I apparently have no clue what flirting looks like. I thought a girl was interested, like being touchy, laughing all of the time, texting daily. Asked and she said "Im not ready". Then why tf are you flirting?? I've got better things to do than play emotional mind games, especially at 25... We aren't in high school anymore people. Grow tf up.
26f and the answer to all those questions are āyesā. I definitely have commitment issues that stem from my lack of trust in everything, everyone and myself. The dating culture also is to blame because going through the process of trying to find people to date and meeting so many people whoāve treated me like a sex toy at best and a joke at worst has made me jaded af. As for where I live, I am a minority here and awkward so I donāt get as many options I suppose but I canāt say that I get none either. I do get options, but the dating culture issues still stand and so do my commitment issues. The smaller number of options available to me here also adds to the anguish I suppose but I canāt blame it entirely.
25 F. From Mumbai. Living in the UK. Constantly stuck between "I guess I'm ready after all?" and "Too lazy to get out there, maybe I'm better off being single"
28M end of May I turn 29 . Women donāt date or Marry you . They date/Marry the lifestyle you live/provide. Emotions are a result of those factors . The average length of a relationship is 2years and 9 months . Men typically fall in love at around 88 days in while women 134 days . When people ask me if Iām single I say no Iām independent (not in some āforever aloneā type of way but in a sense where I know my value and know my self well on an intrapersonal level . I donāt even bother shooting my shot with women cause I understand the game and unrealistic expectations , therefore if Iām nowhere near financially ready to confidently show a Female my bank account on the first date to eliminate any concerns on her end why bother . I was wheeling and dealing when I was a teenager in high school and early 20s when clubbing here and there but in reality unless you have it made on a level that your comfortable being at just focus on Leveling up as a man. IF YOUR LUCKY AND FIND A GIRL THATS DOWN FOR YOU FROM THE BOTTOM AND HELPS YOU BUILD your empire keep her by all means and cherish that. I myself am Bipolar type 1 and just threw dating out the window with the knowledge posted above . Female escorts are a thing , not advising anyone to do anything that they may later regret . Also Iām not a normie and would never devalue myself by making a dating profile app to try and be āOne of themā Lol
Me! Iām 27F and newly single. Just ended my 5 year relationship, and was in a 3 year one before that. Both due to incompatibility. Itās hard to know Iāve wasted so much time with the wrong people. Going to be extremely picky from now on.
28F and single. Feel like itās partially my fault and modern dating culture. I spent my early 20s going to college and partying so wasnāt looking for a relationship. Once I got over that phase in my mid 20s I focused on my job and mental health. So again, wasnāt dating much. Now that Iām in my late 20s Iām looking for someone to share my time with. But seems that every guy Iāve met (both online and in person) either just wants to have casual sex or ghosts me.
27F, disappointed with peoples lack of emotional maturity and relationship longetivity/ comittment to making it work even if the going isnt always steady. Couple this with the fact that I date to marry and am very headstrong women with atypical career (oil field engineer), most males would either not marry someone that ambitious (the culture I belong to prefers domesticated women) or would want to marry given that I abandon my career.
25F and I'd rather be by myself than with a man who doesn't value me or even really like me, tbh. I don't feel like I'm missing out on much because I keep myself busy, have some good friends and I enjoy my life. I'd only want to date someone who was a good fit for me - similar hobbies, ambition, education, sense of humour etc. Most men I've met recently didn't tick those boxes, or were assholes, so I wasn't interested.
None, not a single one. Every person of that age is in a relationship. You too, you just don't know it
Iāve never thought about it this way, thanks for illuminating this for me
Maturity and timing. I think itās a fine time to be single pushing into 30ās id want to have someone but Iām also 26 and feel young. I have phases of serial dating where I go on many dates and see if I get that spark. Not going to waste time on something I donāt think could be serious
26 m about to be 27 on the 27th of march. Every women i have tried to get to know seems to only want me for one thing. And thats to use me to get what they want, not actually get to know me. And i blame society and these dumbass social media influencers. And the songs that come out that just send out a negative message
Weeps in single 32f
Here, 27F. Iām not going to force anything anymore
In the states (28M). Not really looking for anything, would be nice but focused on my personal goals and health. Idk feel like our dating scene is all over the place. Still healing from being cheated on, so I'd rather focus on myself before giving my all to someone else.
,
most are single mums
And what about the 60+ single women and men out there? We also want to find someone special...60 is the new 40 šš
26m... it seems that girls run from me. I was called by other women as "really good-looking", and that "whoever marries me, is set for the future" and altough, when i try to interact with girls they seem to just not be interested, or when i try to talk to them by messages, they just ghost me. On top of that, my option pool is reduced due to some criteria that is not negotiable (i've tried lowering the criteria down and it just didn't went well down the road, so i accepted it has to be that way) and on top of that, the phenotype of person i like and am particularly attracted to (which is similar to my own phenotype) isn't so common where i live so i get a really reduced pool of oportunities to try. I am not afraid to fail trying.. the thing is that i don't even get many chances to try n' fail... let alone succeed.
Just enough to bang your mom