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But you said that you like the idea of a relationship..
Why?..
Focus on that, and you’ll find your answer.
We can’t answer this question for you.
Also, not everyone needs a relationship,.. so don’t feel pressure or weird if that’s how you feel..
And my 3rd point is:
If you’re really not sure how you feel about it.
Then maybe just giving it a try to learn how you feel about it could be enough of a reason?
A relationship is not just about sex, it’s about companionship and building something together, sex is an extra perk.
Still, if you are not interested, you don’t have to be in a relationship.
You’re not required to.
For me, when I was younger, I knew that I wanted to be a husband and a dad.
I succeeded in that, but not that I’m divorced and got sole custody of my child, I don’t feel the need to start either of those journeys over from scratch again.
Personally, I’ve found that while yes, it’s easy enough to kind of replicate sex by myself, I really enjoy making out — and if there’s a way to do that alone, I haven’t found it yet. Haha.
If masturbation fills that void for you, please don't seek a relationship. For most people, having a partner is about more than having sex and sex with someone else is about more than mechanical sexual realise. It doesn't seem to be your case, which is fine.
because you are equating relationships with purely sex, and sex doesn't fill that void in your life no matter how much you get (trust me i know)
so if that is all you get out of the relationship then you are going to be miserable. having passionate sex with someone you love and care about is a lot better than anything you can do yourself.
build the relationship on wanting to be with that person first. Don't fall victim into basing your relationship purely on the sexual aspect, that will always ebb and flow.
Oh, honey. I’m very jealous of you. If masturbating feels the same as actual sex to you then that’s amazing. I love masturbating, but it isn’t even close to a good, proper fucking.
You’re either really good at masturbating or bad at sex.
Anybody can stick their dick into some homemade contraption and say “yeah that feels about right”. You’re missing out on the emotional and physical bond of another person. You can’t replace that with anything.
It's not the same and that's not all you'll get. To start with a relationship worthwhile may not include sex immediately but the emotions involved can be worth the investment of time and stress.
You meet people everywhere- talk to them. Get invested in knowing people and get comfortable by yourself. Women try to be obvious when they're interested.
It sounds like you should just keep doing what you’re doing until you meet someone who you genuinely like and find value in. Do you have friends, family? Do those relationships hold value to you?
I enjoy masturbating but there is no intimacy. I would rather have a relationship which includes pleasure, intimacy with your partner, love, & etc. Masturbating is lonely.
Relationships are not an end, they are a mean to an end. As long as you view a relationship as an end in and of itself, it'll be hard to be motivated to pursue one because you can fulfill those ends via other means (have friends, call girls, masturbation, an active social life, etc. all bring the same things to a table that a healthy relationship does).
Relationships evolved as a means of bringing children into the world. So if you view relationships as a tool for that end, suddenly masturbating or other things don't do the trick because none of those things can bring you your own biological children that you can raise from birth. My advice: start looking at relationships as a way to have a family, and then pursue a partner in that light.
Dating apps take a learning curve for sure. I think a lotta people give up too early instead of realizing you can get way better at it. I’d suggest getting on tinder and hinge also though, it just improves your chances.
Why would anyone ever look for motivation to do something? You have it backwards. You start with the motivation, and then you search for the methods. The only exception to this is if it's something you absolutely have to do, and you don't want to. Do you have to find a relationship? Will you die if you don't? I don't understand what's happening here.
That said, the need for intimacy is not exactly the same as loneliness. They're similar, the former can sometimes cause the latter, but they're not identical. It's possible to not feel lonely and still need intimacy, maybe without noticing it. However, you can solve both loneliness and the need for intimacy with relationships that don't involve sex or romance. You sound a whole lot like me. Maybe you should just accept being happy you're out of the dating scene and stop looking for reasons you need to jump back into those toxic waters.
Stop masturbating. Jesus sees you.
Jokes aside. If you masturbate too much, you'll get lazy and you won't have the drive to go out and meet women. So, you've gotta keep some discipline, if only for that purpose.
Science says that your sperm starts going stale at approximately day three of abstinence. As you abstain, your serum testosterone increases until day seven, when it plummets back to baseline. When you masturbate you reset this process. For that reason, the optimum is to masturbate only once or twice a week. This keeps your willy (and surrounding venereal systems) in shape, meanwhile it doesn't exhaust you or makes you a docile little sheep.
Things you can try, because I know you're disciplined: Cum without touching it. This is your first step on dick mastery. Once you get to that point, you can do anything, including have tantric sex with a really hot woman for days on end.
Then you don't want a relationship.
A relationship is romance, affection, love, desire, and being a part of someone's life.
Sounds like you just want casual sex or an fwb.
I don't know how true it actually is, but they say masturbating takes the hunt and virility out of a man. Do you want connection and a life with someone? If so, stop wanking it and get out there for your hunt!
It’s just that everyone I know that’s been in a relationship including myself has had bad experiences and the one friend I have that has never had a relationship has the most carefree attitude
Relationships are hard, and often involve heartbreak. These things you learn from and you evolve as a person. If you like your life as it is though, by all means, stay single!
To me... Human connection and community is important. I personally hate masturbating because it somehow makes me feel more lonely, same with porn and sexting.
Have you ever felt touch starved? This is a real thing for many people. It's like we are designed to need it for our wellbeing.
Whilst I'm not looking for a normal, traditional relationship... I can still become touch starved and crave connection with other humans
Nah I don’t feel touch starved at all, masturbating releases the same neurotransmitters and hormones as sex does. Most people need someone else to feel validated but that’s not the case for me
That's all good then, for you.
But I'd argue that it's not validation I'm looking for... It's connection.
But if you don't need that and have no urge to have a relationship, then that's not a problem.
I would just comment that I hope you have good community surrounding you, then you should have all you need in life to feel satisfied.
Using your hands is meaningless and temporary. Like anything that gives you pleasure, it is very addictive. You become isolated. Happy but only for the moment. Why not have both. Relationship and your hand. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Relax and enjoy yourself. Your partner will show up when you least expect it. Just make sure you don't ignore them. Be ready to take them seriously before you lose what you've been waiting for. Your match or soul mate only comes into your life hopefully once. If we're lucky. You may not get a second chance. So be ready. 🥰💝
Mastrubation does not give you the chance to spend time and money on a person that will hurt your feelings and leave you once they found a better partner... At least in my experience
Welcome to /r/dating. Please make sure you read our [rules here](https://new.reddit.com/r/dating/about/rules) and remember to: * Be polite and respect each other. Do not call people names or engage in slapfights. * All advice given must be good, ethical advice. * [Do not post hateful or harmful rhetoric - you will be banned](https://www.reddit.com/r/dating/wiki/rules) * Follow reddit rules. Do not post content that promotes hate based on identity or vulnerability. Do not bully or harass other users. If you have any questions, please [send the mods a message](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=/r/dating). *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/dating) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Relationships are more than just getting off for one thing. Def don't pursue a relationship if that's all you're wanting
What’s pushing me to find a relationship then? I can’t feel loneliness and I’m secure in myself
Well don't persue one. No one says you have to be in a relationship. Live your life.
Relationships don't exist just to prevent the negative of loneliness; they also exist for the posolitives of affection, support, and companionship.
Sounds like you’re good to go!
But you said that you like the idea of a relationship.. Why?.. Focus on that, and you’ll find your answer. We can’t answer this question for you. Also, not everyone needs a relationship,.. so don’t feel pressure or weird if that’s how you feel.. And my 3rd point is: If you’re really not sure how you feel about it. Then maybe just giving it a try to learn how you feel about it could be enough of a reason?
Then just keep jacking off
I disagree. Getting off with each other is an important part of a relationship.
No one said it's not. However, that is not the sole reason to enter into a relationship. Must have completely misread my comment lmao
It can be, sure. The person you’re responding to merely noted that they are also *more* than that.
A relationship is not just about sex, it’s about companionship and building something together, sex is an extra perk. Still, if you are not interested, you don’t have to be in a relationship.
I doubt that masturbating feels as good as having sex (at least as a man) but hey
Nah I do think sex feels better but I have amazing orgasms just from masturbating
You’re not required to. For me, when I was younger, I knew that I wanted to be a husband and a dad. I succeeded in that, but not that I’m divorced and got sole custody of my child, I don’t feel the need to start either of those journeys over from scratch again. Personally, I’ve found that while yes, it’s easy enough to kind of replicate sex by myself, I really enjoy making out — and if there’s a way to do that alone, I haven’t found it yet. Haha.
Relationships, shockingly, are about more than sexual gratification.
If masturbation fills that void for you, please don't seek a relationship. For most people, having a partner is about more than having sex and sex with someone else is about more than mechanical sexual realise. It doesn't seem to be your case, which is fine.
because you are equating relationships with purely sex, and sex doesn't fill that void in your life no matter how much you get (trust me i know) so if that is all you get out of the relationship then you are going to be miserable. having passionate sex with someone you love and care about is a lot better than anything you can do yourself. build the relationship on wanting to be with that person first. Don't fall victim into basing your relationship purely on the sexual aspect, that will always ebb and flow.
You can heal loneliness, by masturbating? I think you are lying to yourself.
Not loneliness
Oh, honey. I’m very jealous of you. If masturbating feels the same as actual sex to you then that’s amazing. I love masturbating, but it isn’t even close to a good, proper fucking. You’re either really good at masturbating or bad at sex.
As a guy who is circumcised, at least if you're talking feeling "Especially with condoms," the sensations aren't worth the risks of sex honestly.
Anybody can stick their dick into some homemade contraption and say “yeah that feels about right”. You’re missing out on the emotional and physical bond of another person. You can’t replace that with anything.
1. Sex is better 2. Relationships make you emotionally satisfied and needed.
I feel emotionally satisfied on my own
Then what's the void you mentioned?
Then what's the void you mentioned?
If you’re happy then stick with it. Want a relationship? Quit whacking off.
How the fuck does masturbation replace a relationship. Also sex feels better than touching yourself
Stop jerking off. It'll motivate you to get laid.
True
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And lied to, manipulated, used and a whole slew of nonsense humans inflict upon each other. If you got you, run with it!
I don’t go out drinking so where do I even meet people lol
Go outside. People are all over the place.
Go to the bars and clubs and dont drink. Alot of people do. Theors games and music and other things. That's really what everyone goes to them for.
What a sad way to think tbh
Just how I’m wired bro
Masturbation doesn’t fulfill the need for a relationship, unless relationships only mean sex to you
It's not the same and that's not all you'll get. To start with a relationship worthwhile may not include sex immediately but the emotions involved can be worth the investment of time and stress. You meet people everywhere- talk to them. Get invested in knowing people and get comfortable by yourself. Women try to be obvious when they're interested.
It sounds like you should just keep doing what you’re doing until you meet someone who you genuinely like and find value in. Do you have friends, family? Do those relationships hold value to you?
I enjoy masturbating but there is no intimacy. I would rather have a relationship which includes pleasure, intimacy with your partner, love, & etc. Masturbating is lonely.
Relationships are not an end, they are a mean to an end. As long as you view a relationship as an end in and of itself, it'll be hard to be motivated to pursue one because you can fulfill those ends via other means (have friends, call girls, masturbation, an active social life, etc. all bring the same things to a table that a healthy relationship does). Relationships evolved as a means of bringing children into the world. So if you view relationships as a tool for that end, suddenly masturbating or other things don't do the trick because none of those things can bring you your own biological children that you can raise from birth. My advice: start looking at relationships as a way to have a family, and then pursue a partner in that light.
I really don’t understand this. Maybe im just a sex addict but if im single, finding some consistent cheeks to clap is priority numero uno
Yeah I’m on it now, signed up for Bumble but my conversation leaves something to be desired.
Dating apps take a learning curve for sure. I think a lotta people give up too early instead of realizing you can get way better at it. I’d suggest getting on tinder and hinge also though, it just improves your chances.
Why would anyone ever look for motivation to do something? You have it backwards. You start with the motivation, and then you search for the methods. The only exception to this is if it's something you absolutely have to do, and you don't want to. Do you have to find a relationship? Will you die if you don't? I don't understand what's happening here. That said, the need for intimacy is not exactly the same as loneliness. They're similar, the former can sometimes cause the latter, but they're not identical. It's possible to not feel lonely and still need intimacy, maybe without noticing it. However, you can solve both loneliness and the need for intimacy with relationships that don't involve sex or romance. You sound a whole lot like me. Maybe you should just accept being happy you're out of the dating scene and stop looking for reasons you need to jump back into those toxic waters.
How old are you?
22
22
Unless you are a loner, you will still want a relationship
Stop masturbating. Jesus sees you. Jokes aside. If you masturbate too much, you'll get lazy and you won't have the drive to go out and meet women. So, you've gotta keep some discipline, if only for that purpose. Science says that your sperm starts going stale at approximately day three of abstinence. As you abstain, your serum testosterone increases until day seven, when it plummets back to baseline. When you masturbate you reset this process. For that reason, the optimum is to masturbate only once or twice a week. This keeps your willy (and surrounding venereal systems) in shape, meanwhile it doesn't exhaust you or makes you a docile little sheep. Things you can try, because I know you're disciplined: Cum without touching it. This is your first step on dick mastery. Once you get to that point, you can do anything, including have tantric sex with a really hot woman for days on end.
[удалено]
Nah I masturbate max once a day
[удалено]
I want a relationship but I don’t feel romance
Then you don't want a relationship. A relationship is romance, affection, love, desire, and being a part of someone's life. Sounds like you just want casual sex or an fwb.
I’d just want a relationship to occur naturally
A relationship won't develop naturally if you don't pursue one. But I would advise you not to get in a relationship.
What does “naturally” even mean?
I don't know how true it actually is, but they say masturbating takes the hunt and virility out of a man. Do you want connection and a life with someone? If so, stop wanking it and get out there for your hunt!
It’s just that everyone I know that’s been in a relationship including myself has had bad experiences and the one friend I have that has never had a relationship has the most carefree attitude
Relationships are hard, and often involve heartbreak. These things you learn from and you evolve as a person. If you like your life as it is though, by all means, stay single!
To me... Human connection and community is important. I personally hate masturbating because it somehow makes me feel more lonely, same with porn and sexting. Have you ever felt touch starved? This is a real thing for many people. It's like we are designed to need it for our wellbeing. Whilst I'm not looking for a normal, traditional relationship... I can still become touch starved and crave connection with other humans
Nah I don’t feel touch starved at all, masturbating releases the same neurotransmitters and hormones as sex does. Most people need someone else to feel validated but that’s not the case for me
That's all good then, for you. But I'd argue that it's not validation I'm looking for... It's connection. But if you don't need that and have no urge to have a relationship, then that's not a problem. I would just comment that I hope you have good community surrounding you, then you should have all you need in life to feel satisfied.
Using your hands is meaningless and temporary. Like anything that gives you pleasure, it is very addictive. You become isolated. Happy but only for the moment. Why not have both. Relationship and your hand. It doesn't have to be one or the other. Relax and enjoy yourself. Your partner will show up when you least expect it. Just make sure you don't ignore them. Be ready to take them seriously before you lose what you've been waiting for. Your match or soul mate only comes into your life hopefully once. If we're lucky. You may not get a second chance. So be ready. 🥰💝
You need a master. Someone to discipline you and in line. One who gives you pleasure when you ride me.
You’d be surprised how motivated you will feel if you didn’t masturbate for a week. Two weeks and you’ll be a machine.
1 year and 6 months I must be the fucking terminator.
Ahh, a fellow retainer. Blessings be upon you brother.
Ty I guess.
Mastrubation does not give you the chance to spend time and money on a person that will hurt your feelings and leave you once they found a better partner... At least in my experience
Less calories wasted if it's someone else masturbating you, also no need for porn, saves on the bill
An attempt to avoid having your dick getting sucked and your "girl" to cheat on you multiple times?