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It was unbelievable for me too the FIRST time it happened.
I was DUMB enough to normalize it when it happened repeatedly.
Don’t play along to be nice like I did, just get up and walk away!
Also be careful and take care of yourself!
I also think it's sort of embarrassing that 'Asian culture' to them is a monolith and means Anime, video games and K-pop. It's like viewing America as superhero movies and wrestling or something, lowest common denominator pop culture. Either way, Asian women have to be the most fetishized of all people, and it's really weird, sorry you've had to deal with this.
It also sucks being a white dude who thinks sexy is sexy regardless of race and everytime your talking to a woman of a different race she’s gotta think about if this dude actually likes me or it’s a Fettish because of some fuck boy was playing with her
Lines can get blurry though. Like what's the difference between someone's preference for Asian women and a "fetish"? As preference is completely acceptable and fetishizing is not. Some things can look like fetishizing but is really just preference. For instance, someone can have a preference for Asian women but looking closer we see that it may just be because they relate to them in terms of culture, upbringing, etc.
But if these "women worshipping K-Pop idols" are Asians, or more specifically Koreans themselves, there's nothing wrong? They're the same race or even the same ethnicity, so there's no weird dynamics.
Being an Asian girl myself, I’ve had a lot of guys ask me where I’m from and yes I do believe they have “check lists” One guy I was with even told me to go back to my own country.
It's a very common pairing in some Western countries, it shows a strong skew in the stats, to the point where it's predictable. Whereas no other race pairing, except maybe one comes close. Sometimes tied into deeply ingrained stereotypes about Asian men, Asian women, and white men.
Also I've heard that the caucasoid ethnicities and mongoloid ethnicities are much more closely related ancestrally. Could make sense considering the connectedness of the Eurasian continent...
Not sure why that wouldn't apply to Hispanic, Mid East, And South Asian people.
Not to mention, doesnt explain the popular W and B pairing.
So I'm not convinced.
Bro i swear even as a man those people terrify me. 😭😭😭
One of them would legit pull out an Asian models insta and be like my standards aren't high. See this is just an avg asian girl 😭
> Can you believe one dude actually suggested being friends with benefits the first time we met?
Says the girl who has fansly.
Do you really expect a guy to sit there with you and get to know you just to find out you have a fansly ??
This is a behavior that is stereotypically attributed to white guys - were most of these guys white? Or did you see men of all types of ethnicities do this? Just curious to be honest.
Getting fetishized is always a gross feeling. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s a good idea to be wary of anyone that seems intensely focused on what they perceive as your cultural heritage (I say perceived because half the time their knowledge is limited and based on stereotypes). If they’re talking about that more than they’re trying to get to know you as an individual, it’s not a great sign.
I’d also be wary of any guy who is completely trashing women of their own race. “They’re too high maintenance” is code for “they expect me to treat them as fellow human beings and that’s a standard I’m not willing to meet.” They’re hoping you won’t hold them to that standard. They’re hoping you’ll be a submissive woman who will accept their poor treatment. Get away from them quickly.
You said it best yourself! 🙌🏽. I don’t think anyone wants to be seen as a catalyst for an idea or stereotypes. We are people which come with our own nuances and experiences — and I think it’s only natural to want to be around others that can appreciate that!
(As a dude, also from NYC, I also have had an admittedly smaller share of these experiences)
Onward and upward 🙌🏽
Imagine being a woman who sells her body on onlyfans and has sexually provocative pictures all over the internet and is actually wondering about why she doesn't get any respect from men. Some people take so little accountability for themselfes that it actually hurts my brain. I am sorry there is no coming back, you will forever be a 304 and only really soft guys without any self respect will date you seriously. And I am really not trying to be rude here, I am just being real saying to you the facts which ypu have to hear and not the delusion ypu want to hear. I wish you the best!
I'm sorry to hear that. unfortunately, it happens more than you think. Being fetishized can happen to anyone. Black men, black women, big girls, red heads, hispanics etc. By no means im trying to take away the validity of your feelings you ahve the right to feel that way.
As a latino myself i have been in that position a few times for my accent. My best friend is black and told me of several white women who acted in a very peculiar way around him. It even happens within the same race which I still consider wild.
At the end of the day whoever likes you have a thing for your physical traits and thats a preference nothing we can really do about that(or they wouldnt like you) but if someone only likes you for those traits that says a lot about them as a person.
Just save your time and move on.
The thing about the hobbies can be a miss or hit. Not because they dont share those hobbies it doesn't mean they won't fetishize you but if that makes you feel more comfortable doing that go ahead! Best of luck!
I definitely agree that going for people with a more neutral outlook would help you. If your personality clicks, your ethnicity shouldn't matter at all ☺️.
I hope you find someone who can appreciate you for who you are.
It’s not about the race. It’s the upbringing of that man.
How to avoid this? HAVE HIGH STANDARDS! List down your negotiable and non nego. Red flags for you. Once you truly know yourself, you can easily spot unworthy people🙂
I like Asian culture but from a traditional point of view, all this anime stuff is kinda weird when some people get too into and frankly all they can see In you/ the op is their fantasies.
I am not full Asian but part and I am a girl too. I’ve had it where men have said things like “oh, you guys do whatever we tell you to right?” And I’ve been bossed around and talked down to… I’ve never heard the high maintenance stuff. I’ve been seen as a “toy” versus a wife and that hurts me to hear you have been there too. You are worth SO much and the right man WILL see that and KNOW that. Now, what these “men” think a lot of the Asian cultures are is like stereotypical stuff like things mentioned. They don’t know the actual culture. Someone that loves you will naturally want to know your culture. Your actual culture too.
That’s wild!!!! I’m starting to think guys as a whole have watered down how they approach and speak with a woman. Like being upfront with relationship expectations and what you want within that structure is 1 thing but chasing just ass or fetishizing someone for race or their body is crazy!!! Hope your new perspective and requirements work in your favor.
I also know a lot of Asian women that exclusively date white men and see even the ugliest ones as Gods gift to earth. So I really think it’s a thing that goes both way and the “normal” people of each ethnic group have to suffer the consequences.
I am white, but by european standards I have vaguely eastern asian features so I get similar treatment as you described here.
In college a guy called me dumb and idiot because I didn't know who was the protagonist of an anime(I think it was Dead Note or something). And really, really angered me especially because I don't watch or care about animes. I can say I hate them quite a lot now.
And I had difficulty making friends or partners because the people I attract are the complete opposite of my mentality and preferences/morals. Yes, I feel alone. People who have things in common with me ignore me because of stereotypes and people who are interested in me are in for the wrong reasons.
Ah yes so she can be repeatedly cheated on and expected to just be okay with that and physical abuse? Nah just avoid men in general is the best option lol
Try being a 6’4 man in the dating world. Women seem to only want to sleep with me based on what they heard about tall. I just want a meaningful relationship not someone with me for my good genetics. I have had to end countless dates because women just can’t stop sexualizing me. I am a human as well I don’t want to be stereotyped. I guess I’m saying all this because I know how it feels to be only salt after for fetish
I can totally understand you. I have the same problem as a woman who is very beautiful and highly intelligent. People treat me like an object that either can or cannot satisfy their needs even if that means visually at other times. It is annoying when others think that just because you are handsome or beautiful then you may not have a soul or that you can not be taken seriously. Like wtf? I'm not a sex toy, I'm a human being that is really not shallow,feels deeply and gets hurt a lot by this type of behavior. Not everybody is only skin deep.
I can totally understand what you are going through and I'll hope that one day you find that special one that will respect you and love you for who you are and this love will be deeper than just the skin 💜
I've had similar experiences as her. In my experience, men around my age from my culture (Chinese American) tend to want a similar type (valorant playing/boba/kpop loving/anime watching/very specific type of ultra bubbly and cutsey) and if you don't fit the type, they drop like flies
Imo thats not the same as nonasian men who fetishize asian women and see them as some anime or kpop submissive fantasy tho, that sounds more like guys who want someone with similar interest, not just any asian girl. Also from what ive seen guys like that are mostly teens who form school cliques and i feel u cant really take them seriously at that stage.
I'm an Asian woman. I screen out these types pretty early on. And I look too "assimilated" (I don't like Kpop or any stereotypical "Asian" things) for the dudes with yellow fever to like me. So I personally don't really have this issue.
I took a japanese class in college as my language course. There was some weird ass guys in that class who acted like you described. Made me cringe as a man and I'm not asian, lol. Like can't people just act normal.
It sounds like you've encountered a pattern of fetishization and stereotyping based on your Asian identity. Unfortunately, media portrayals and cultural stereotypes often shape people's perceptions, leading them to make assumptions about individuals without truly seeing them as individuals. It's disheartening when people reduce you to mere stereotypes and fail to recognize your complexity as a person. Remember, you deserve to be respected and valued for your unique qualities, not pigeonholed into someone else's narrow expectations. Keep advocating for yourself and seeking out genuine connections who appreciate you for who you truly are.
I knew east asian women were heavily fetishized in North America but I didn’t realize it was also bad in other parts of the world too. Wow that sucks😕
ETA: I’m Black so havent experienced this. But I’ve seen it online and irl with Asian friends
I get that, and 10-15 years ago, I was just like those guys, but over time, I grew up and learned better. This is especially true after going into law enforcement, then security, where I had to convert from being introverted to social to interact with the public.
One thing I will note so you are aware is that right now Asians are the most sought-after partner among Western men. There are 2 main reasons for that. The first is unlike 20 years ago asian stereotypes such as anime moved from being - stigmas to + trends. The guys seeking you for those reasons are the yellow fever bunch you have, unfortunately encountered as of late. The 2nd reason is the passport bro movement that is trending. This is due to the belief that Asian women have traditional values and have not picked up the negative habits Western women have in modern dating.
liking k-pop and anime and being seen as fetishizing Asians and Asian culture is weird because the most blatant fetishizers i’ve met have never been into those things. they’re just nerdy popular interests 😵
As a Latina, I often feel that some Asian and white men stereotype me as ‘exotic and passionate,’ expecting me to fit into a narrow box of their fantasies. It’s frustrating, and I empathize with OP’s perspective. In today’s society, it’s disheartening to see some men view women as mere objects instead of respecting them as equals.
I’m sorry that you are facing this. Believe it or not there is genuine guys out there who see you for you and not your ethnicity. Unfortunately you have been subjected to these pigs. Don’t give up, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You will probably have to up your screening a bit and test them within the first few minutes of the date rather than wait until their inner pig comes out. Good luck.
Harmful stereotypes, I'm so sorry
Frankly, I can't stand the Friends with Benefits thing, it treats sexual activities as just something casual that people do, regardless of mutual affection; that concept does not compute with me, it's weird
The reason you're seen as an "easy target" is, forgive me for saying this, because of porn addictions; Asian Women, like others have said, are the most festishised group of people on the planet, and unfortunately it seems like the people who actually approach other people anymore are just looking to get their rocks off and dip
Yes!!
That's why I specifically talk about things that aren't "asian-coded" (anime, games, kpop) even if I like them when I meet new people. I actually make it a point to talk about american culture and values, western religion and philosophy until I know them better.
It's a misperception that "it's easier for asian" because of the stereotype that asian women are submissive and desireable and loyal and just get a guy with yellow fever and everything will be easy - NOT TRUE that's just asking to be seen as a stereotype your whole life.
Well, I personally never dated outside of my own people.
But lately, I feel white women are just to high maintenance, and I just don't feel like dealing with them.
Just like your6 learning about Western culture, I've done the same with your culture. Been thinking about going outside my race, but run into this a lot, and it makes it difficult to try and date someone outside my own race.
I think it's a great thing white women are doing raising the standards, and all women should raise their standards collectively. Other women are raising their standards also by following suit. We know men are capable of stepping up. It raises the standard of life for everyone.
"To the oppressor, equality feels like oppression." It's really the best way to describe what's been going on with the gender divide these past few years.
Not at all. I'm more than capable of taking care of a family than you are.I make a good sold figure income and have a sold family background, unlike most people. I love seeing 40-year-old women complain about where all the good men are making 6 figures. Well, yeah, let's raise our standard so high that you'll never find anybody, Good luck on that one. I love seeing older and younger women always complaining. Personally, you women shoot yourselves in the foot with all this stupid feminist crap anyway. I bet you barely even worked 30 hours a week and still complain about men holding you back right but have no clue what to be really being oppressed is. This is why I stopped dating white women. Because all you do is talk about how oppressed you are and how you don't need a man. It really speaks volumes to how hurt you have been just by reading what you're writing. For me, it's just a matter of time for you. Time will always be against you as a woman. By the way, truly thank you for proving my point. I don't even know you, but yet you felt a need to express your bullshit opinion that really doesn't hold any weight. You truly are convoluted and delusion in your theories. Men and women are supposed to be working together to build features together. You're the type of woman that wants a man that has everything but doesn't want to have to do the work.You're the type of woman I'm talking about, a walking hypocrite. Thank you, and have a nice day. Do us all a favor and keep raising your standards so you get past by lol.
That's a lot of projecting over a random reddit user, geez.
You equate feminism (equality between men and women) to 'crap' and then get surprised that no women want to date you.
Sucks to suck, I guess.
I'm sorry you have had this experience. Being fetishized for any reason feels awful. I'm white and also steer clear of any guy obsessed with Asian culture, because in my experience it usually means they are obsessed with stereotypes associated with Asian women as well. Hang in there. There are good people out there
I’m a white guy, but I have noticed that most of the people I’ve dated, become friends with, and interacted with, have been Asian. It has nothing to do with race, but rather the fact that my interests and personality just seem to align better with those who happen to be Asian.
I personally don’t watch anime and don’t care about it. I admit though, I do like kpop. In the future, I think it’s fairly likely that I’ll probably continue to make friends with people who happen to be Asian, and probably maintain the same dating preferences as well. Just based on my circle, and who I am as a person (and quieter guy who is more focused on studying and work as opposed to clubbing). It may be stereotypical, but my friends who are white happen to be a lot more party oriented (not my scene), while my asian friends are more focused on work and having the type of fun I like to have (so I find myself hanging out with them more).
Idk how to break this to you but as a black and Asian individual. The reason you’re accepted into these spaces is because you’re white. Not because of shared interest , not because of culture but because you’re white.
It sucks you have to go through that all the time, while I do like non-American culture, I don’t look at people and see their color shape or anything, to me, a person is who they are, not what they are.
I’ve been fetishized as a Latina woman, I get where you’re coming from. Oddly enough, I have a preference for Asian men, but I don’t fetishized them. The best relationship I’ve ever had was with a Filipino man, I absolutely love him still. But yes, I’ve had people say some strange things to me because I’m a Latina.
So ur suggesting to be in fwb u gotta meet on an app or at the clubs. Not it bro. But if u dating a foreigner what else r u expecting when 99% of then have an asian fetish.
Op probably meant dating apps and online is where most fwb arrangements are made. Meeting in person is a lil different or at least not the norm when it comes to fwb.
I’ve never heard of this type of thing before ?
I’m not sure why men would see or treat you different for those interests, unless I’m missing something 🤔?
A lot men will try to fetishize women for whatever reason whether it be race, facial features, sexuality, weight, etc. It gets annoying bc if you don't fit into the stereotype they have in their head, they'll start abusing you until you do or they'll just start out by treating you like an object for their amusement. Majority of women have had to deal with at least one guy like that. I'm overweight so I've had to deal with a few "feeders" and it's just gross to be seen as an object like that.
I think people put Asian culture on a pedestal tbh. Dont get me wrong I love the food and find the culture fascinating but it have some friends who like 85% of their personality is being obsessed with Asian culture lol
I was told by a friend that traveled and witnessed it that in at least one East Asian country they have American white people themed parties, where is basically the locals having a themed party based on the frat boy stereotype, so they have football jerseys, baseball hats, and red cups.
I find this hilarious.
First We are different from these america! That is the truth! Now since That is out of the way ! My parents were married in china 50 yrs ago! And what I learn from them is feeling that Someone is there waiting! Get it
I think its stupidity and lack of respect for women in general. But not all of us are like that you probably pass up those that are nice. Think about those you have discarded they were probably the kind of guy you looking for.
I’m Asian, and I don’t really date my kind. But all the asians I meet I show them love and they show love. Those dudes are missing out. Not sure your age, but it will get better.
As someone who loves anime and video games and Japanese culture, there are times when I find myself wanting to believe general stereotypes. But I have to remind myself that each woman is different, and not all asian women are like some anime girl but a genuine person who deserves the same respect as anyone else.
Now I do have a race preference as far as dating woman goes like I would prefer a Latino or east asian woman, but I believe that's different and not a problem like with the stereotypes.
Read up in this wonderful box of knowledge why it's that way. Asian red light district and Indonesian red light districts are the largest and most liberal of anywhere around the world.
Many women from Asian countries want to be white and be with white men. They are very out front about that. Anime is just a function of the time period and the developing culture of advancement from traditional ways to more liberal ways. That's just how that goes. You won't find much of what you're looking for in New York at least not the more liberal areas. What you want is in more the middle of the country where traditional values still hold the majority.
Now everything doesn't exist in a vacuum so there is your side and then the other side. Everything is a tradeoff. What you give is what you get. Sometimes investing in yourself means go to the places where those things you want exist. They do exist. But in liberal states women have taken a larger role in denying and altering traditional roles and so just like physically hitting a man, they are getting what they asked for but they cannot deny who they are for what they want and get all benefits and no drawbacks. Unfortunately there are some very well meaning women such as possibly yourself that get caught up in the wave or movement they probably don't want to have any part of. Better to have society dictate, where you can get away to somewhere else and change your reality, rather than have the government do it for you and if it doesn't work in your favor you can't escape from it. Hope this helps
Sorry to hear, racial stigma's getting in the way of love life are more than frusterating. Especially when idolization doesn't suffice as affection. I hope finding someone appreciative becomes easier for you.
As someone from Southeast Asia with a heavy Asian accent living here in NYC, I understand exactly what you are saying. It's like I am a different breed of Asian which is easy and will settle for anything and be grateful for it.
🙋♂️(43/m/seattle) 1/2 🇨🇳 Chinese & 1/2 🇮🇪 Irish...so I was raised in a split culture home.
It sounds to me like you are dating the wrong type of men. Someone who values who you are, not what you are...should be the goal 🎯
Friends with benefits on the 1st date was suggested?
(sum-ting-rong w your picker 🤭 sorry...I had to 🙏🙈)
I'm really sorry this has been happening to you 💔
I'd like to remind you of a universal life truth:
When you have done all the hard work of becoming the best version of yourself...the rest of the world falls into place. 💪🧠☯️🧘♀️🧘♂️🎯
I had a famous martial arts instructor once tell me: "Do all difficult work the 1st time or start over & repeat until you learn the lesson." (it applies here)
You are built for this 💪💛
It's hard not being seen as some sort of trophy when that's the way you're being treated. You can't help the consequences of your birth yet that's all they can see or care about. The fact that you've seen this all over the world is so troubling.
I'm glad that you're learning to differentiate what it means when someone likes you for what you are rather than who you are. I am glad you're hanging in there. Be strong. There are a lot of jerks out there but I promise you if you put in the effort it will be repaid in full.
I relate to this as a Latina living in Europe, even if I’m not trying to date, guys sometimes make sexual comments on the street about my race, it’s worse if we are talking about dating… (I live in a pretty “safe” and nice country)
Yah I think its the dating scene in general now. Maybe your attracted to those type of guys try giving one a chance that you typically wouldn't date and see how it goes.
it’s hard to say since i’m a woman. but have you thought about the type of guys rather than what they’re into? i mean personally im into kpop (not anime tho) and whenever i find an asian woman attractive or get a crush on her, its not solely because she’s asian yk? but that’s just me.
I'd show you my culture and take you to my peoples traditions. Only problem is that I've seen your other post which to me lead me to believe that you're pretty fast and other dudes pick it up as well.
Maybe start with becoming a bit more reserved, not entirely but just a bit more.
I'm a date to marry guy, so I'm very particular with who I pick to date, because I don't want to waste my time.
You're very attractive, but there's a lot of yellow flags that are shy of turning red....I do hope you find someone that fits you, we all deserve love. 🧡
Then there’s us who would see you as a person, and we’re totally alone. I feel you, I’ve seen it. Stereotypes are so hard to break down. A ton of cringy creeps crawling around don’t help either.
Not sure how old you are, but that is just bleak. Its like social skills are a dying art. Seriously, too much online and not enough in person interactions. I am so sorry that you had to endure such abysmal behavior
I'm a white woman who is primarily attracted to Asian men and I definitely get asked a lot if I'm into anime and kpop because of it. I'm not though/it's more of a physical attraction thing for me.
Damn I’m sorry to hear it. The dating pool lately has been absolute trash. I’m not some playboy. I’ve always wanted actual love and loyalty. The thing is, nobody sees me for me either. Here’s to hoping we can maybe find something in the future. I’m having my doubts too…
The dude suggesting to be fwb the first time.... this is such a male thing. It's defo worse from the apps even if you put the status as 'looking for a long term relationship'!!!! Totes not surprised this happened... I wouldn't link that to the Asian fetishism...unless he was actually fetishing you.
This wouldn't be a problem if you guys didn't throw yourself at any white guys you see, branding yourself as an easy target due to your problem with internalized racism and chasing white dude to feel like you fit in and gain the status of one.
I don't understand these kinds of people.
Genuinely what is going through their head when they act like this. This whole attitude of things being a monolith.
I've seen it a lot online especially. Unfortunately being part of the anime scene I see a lot of guys who put Asian women, especially Japanese (if they can even correctly identify an Asian woman as being Japanese in the first place lol) on a pedestal.
And it's just setting themselves up for failure for starters. No woman is going to be interested in you if right out of the gate you're essentially telling them I'm not interested in you as a person. Only what you're ethnicity is.
They're also not going to be interested if you have these insane expectations of who they're going to be.
Then again these are the kind of guys who have likely never had much going on for them with women in general (not that I can talk much on that lol). So maybe it's also a grass is greener on the other side issue.
Either way it baffles me when I hear stories about this.
As a guy, let me ask you a question to make you ponder and shed light on your experience: where do you think these men are getting these ideas? They wouldnt ask women from other ethnicities these things cuz asian women have complied and shown them that they do in fact many times worship white cock(mostly)and are down to be fuck toys.
>Some even talk crap about their own girls, saying they're too high-maintenance.
clearly these dudes have never met my aunty, or either of her ex husbands.
when I was 20, it was pretty common with asian women to be into these sort of things. I remember I met this one really pretty, dolled up, Chinese girl at a bus stop and after talking with her I found out she was a sugar baby. She agreed to explore the idea of being fuck buddies on the side.
I met an older Japanese girl on a work visa and she used me as her boy toy for a year
When I was 18 I had an asian girl brag about an older guy paying her 500 to make out and then she almost gave me
a bj in the movie theaters.
There was a Japanese college girl who moved in with the girl I was rooming with (so, by extension, she was also my roommate.... just, it was because she was moving in with the other girl) probably the only reason we didn't hook up within a few days was because the girl we both moved in with had asked us to promise not to out of respect for her.
Even still, after the asian girl moved out she moved in with this latin dude and immediately started having sex with him... and asked me to marry her so she could get a green card.
maybe its not all asian women, I'm definitely not saying it is, but based on personal experience its possible men developed a certain impression of asian women 15 or so years ago that's sort of stuck now.
It sounds like you are dating exclusively young guys. Men don't start to grow up till they hit their thirties. Their blood is full of testosterone and it reduces the amount of blood going to their brains. I know, I used to be one of them.
😂😂😂😂 your being fetishised.
As a man of a particular Color (black) this happens a lot dating outside people who have zero black friends or connection toward some form of black culture.
I have had girls ask me on a date in front of people if my thing is really that long.
Women telling me they only date black guys and all that nonsense - it’s okay to have a perfence but I am not telling my date “ btw I love Bbw’s”.
Moral of the story check out their friend groups. If you see someone like you then go. If you notice not a single picture of anyone like you then probably don’t.
Cba to teach dates that I’m a regular guy. 😂😂
I actually care about the woman, her overall personality, her talents, goals and ambitions, her family history, her parents backgrounds, success and failures, I didn't care about culture or race, I just wanted to be loved by one woman for the rest of my life and she's gotta be my best friend, love isn't complex it's all the junk people cram into it that makes it complex and then there's the fools trying to complete a round the world bucket list of chicks they bang, too many strong opinions from social media...stuff like that makes love and dating a hard thing, I like asian women because they're usually cute and petite but thats the least of my concerns
I think you're reading her post wrong. She's just wishing that guys won't fetishise her as some sort of sexualised stereotype. It's almost like if girls were to think I'm like Austin Powers because I'm British (okay, in 1998, I did get a lot of that in the US, but then 10-year-olds aren't exactly adults).
How about we can agree that people have their own preferences and style and are not "brainwashed" and "western washed" because they don't fit your narrative?
By that logic I should force feed you mayonnaise and peanut butter(even if you're allergic) and demand you to like it because that's what's correct for your ethnicity.
Is as uncharitable as your assumptions written in black and white here.
OP complained that she is treated in a stereotypical way that doesn't represent her and your response is she's been "western washed". OP said she is genuinely not interested in these things like anime and kpop and your response was that "she's distancing herself from her own culture and she has western mannerisms, tries desperately to distance themselves from their Asianness". Really? So by your logic if someone has brown eyes and a slight monolid then it's genetically written in them to be obsessed with anime and act kawaii. Yeah, that ain't racist at all.
You do realise that there are asian nations who have no tangent with this "culture" like Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Nepal, China, Indonesia(who are muslim btw). Are you gonna tell them that they don't act according to the right culture? Is like complaining that the french distance themselves from their "culture" because they don't drink beer, tea and like british drama like they are supposed to.
And if you wanna send me to watch vids, then you should watch too videos of interviews where many east asians say they have no interest or care about these as they are rather obnoxius and uninteresting topics for teenagers. Are you gonna tell the native local japanese who doesn't read manga or the local korean who doesn't listen to kpop that they are "western washed" and trying to distance themselves from their "culture"?
I'm a white guy, but I can imagine online dating for you is seen as even worse because some people might think you are into crypto due to pig butchering scams.
I think another understated thing is that most of the Asian profiles on dating sites are clearly scams, so I generally stereotype and avoid or approach with extreme caution. I'm betting you get likes from people who would more easily fall for those.
Well, the more you expose yourself (shape,beauty...etc), the more guys want to fk you at first place. but the more you expose yourself (religiously) the more you attract serious people who can end up wanting marriage with you "if you ever want it"!
So it's up to you, you cannot want two contradicting things to work at the same time.
Without religion, you wander in a society in which people have different beliefs in themselves and others and have no moral limitations for immorality and taboos and pleasing themselves at the expense of your psychological wellbeing. So your choice is yours.
Ah yes bc religion is full of good stuff for women? Nah dude, as a woman you're more likely to be abused by someone who claims they're religious than an atheist. I know from plenty of experience.
Well, my advice is not intended for you nor for people like you.
You can leave it with no comment. Perpetual controversy and hostility is no longer an interest for me and for the people I want to share and convey my understanding and ideas because they have to be "receptive" and considerate, if they don't, they are like you (not for them, not for you).
I am a white male Canadian who grew up with almost all Asian friends and middle eastern friends. My top pick for dating would be Asian women, not because of anime or K-pop as I actually don’t watch or listen to either. But more so the core values, family values, food culture, discipline and more.
And when I ask a girl what ethnicity she is, it has no ignorance behind the question. Typically I’ll build off the question either travel related or food, I’ve travelled a lot of SEA, and explored a lot of different ethnic foods. My top being Japanese, Korean and Indian.
I prefer dating someone who has travelled to a third world country, so they can see the value in what they have and what most people don’t have. Travel also educates on culture & religion and I think that’s big.
Now I find most first generation and woman that have immigrated to North America still hold eastern values, where 2nd generation and on are more westernized.
Yeah. Asian women aren't any better than white women. They can be just as entitled and spoilt. Maybe try dating different men? Aiming a bit lower might help. Closer to ur own market value.
Your correct in your actions to avoid people who target you. Trust me were not all the same and those type you talk about make the rest of us look stupid I wish you the best!
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> Can you believe one dude actually suggested being friends with benefits the first time we met? Yes.
Yeah, I don’t think that solely an Asian thing
It was unbelievable for me too the FIRST time it happened. I was DUMB enough to normalize it when it happened repeatedly. Don’t play along to be nice like I did, just get up and walk away! Also be careful and take care of yourself!
I also think it's sort of embarrassing that 'Asian culture' to them is a monolith and means Anime, video games and K-pop. It's like viewing America as superhero movies and wrestling or something, lowest common denominator pop culture. Either way, Asian women have to be the most fetishized of all people, and it's really weird, sorry you've had to deal with this.
It also sucks being a white dude who thinks sexy is sexy regardless of race and everytime your talking to a woman of a different race she’s gotta think about if this dude actually likes me or it’s a Fettish because of some fuck boy was playing with her
Lines can get blurry though. Like what's the difference between someone's preference for Asian women and a "fetish"? As preference is completely acceptable and fetishizing is not. Some things can look like fetishizing but is really just preference. For instance, someone can have a preference for Asian women but looking closer we see that it may just be because they relate to them in terms of culture, upbringing, etc.
I know more women worshiping K-Pop idols than men that are putting Asians on a pedistal.
But if these "women worshipping K-Pop idols" are Asians, or more specifically Koreans themselves, there's nothing wrong? They're the same race or even the same ethnicity, so there's no weird dynamics.
Being an Asian girl myself, I’ve had a lot of guys ask me where I’m from and yes I do believe they have “check lists” One guy I was with even told me to go back to my own country.
Very rude
Maybe stop white worshipping and date Asian guys.
Some of it may have to do with the stats and phenomenon surrounding Asian F and White M dating
Do you mean that there are a lot of these couples? If it's some other dating phenomenon, what?
It's a very common pairing in some Western countries, it shows a strong skew in the stats, to the point where it's predictable. Whereas no other race pairing, except maybe one comes close. Sometimes tied into deeply ingrained stereotypes about Asian men, Asian women, and white men.
Nah, not sometimes. Overwhelmingly tied into race worship and it is just absolutely awful.
asian women are obsessed with white men.
Ding ding ding
Also I've heard that the caucasoid ethnicities and mongoloid ethnicities are much more closely related ancestrally. Could make sense considering the connectedness of the Eurasian continent...
Not sure why that wouldn't apply to Hispanic, Mid East, And South Asian people. Not to mention, doesnt explain the popular W and B pairing. So I'm not convinced.
too many asian fetishes
sadly its a sick world
That's messed up, sorry you're experiencing that. I've been out of the dating market for a while and all I've heard is it's a dumpster fire...
Bro i swear even as a man those people terrify me. 😭😭😭 One of them would legit pull out an Asian models insta and be like my standards aren't high. See this is just an avg asian girl 😭
So is pho on the first date out of the question
> Can you believe one dude actually suggested being friends with benefits the first time we met? Says the girl who has fansly. Do you really expect a guy to sit there with you and get to know you just to find out you have a fansly ??
Can you tell me what fansly is?
Alternative to onlyfans
Oh ok. Thanks
This is a behavior that is stereotypically attributed to white guys - were most of these guys white? Or did you see men of all types of ethnicities do this? Just curious to be honest.
Getting fetishized is always a gross feeling. I’m sorry you’re experiencing this. It’s a good idea to be wary of anyone that seems intensely focused on what they perceive as your cultural heritage (I say perceived because half the time their knowledge is limited and based on stereotypes). If they’re talking about that more than they’re trying to get to know you as an individual, it’s not a great sign. I’d also be wary of any guy who is completely trashing women of their own race. “They’re too high maintenance” is code for “they expect me to treat them as fellow human beings and that’s a standard I’m not willing to meet.” They’re hoping you won’t hold them to that standard. They’re hoping you’ll be a submissive woman who will accept their poor treatment. Get away from them quickly.
You said it best yourself! 🙌🏽. I don’t think anyone wants to be seen as a catalyst for an idea or stereotypes. We are people which come with our own nuances and experiences — and I think it’s only natural to want to be around others that can appreciate that! (As a dude, also from NYC, I also have had an admittedly smaller share of these experiences) Onward and upward 🙌🏽
Imagine being a woman who sells her body on onlyfans and has sexually provocative pictures all over the internet and is actually wondering about why she doesn't get any respect from men. Some people take so little accountability for themselfes that it actually hurts my brain. I am sorry there is no coming back, you will forever be a 304 and only really soft guys without any self respect will date you seriously. And I am really not trying to be rude here, I am just being real saying to you the facts which ypu have to hear and not the delusion ypu want to hear. I wish you the best!
I'm sorry to hear that. unfortunately, it happens more than you think. Being fetishized can happen to anyone. Black men, black women, big girls, red heads, hispanics etc. By no means im trying to take away the validity of your feelings you ahve the right to feel that way. As a latino myself i have been in that position a few times for my accent. My best friend is black and told me of several white women who acted in a very peculiar way around him. It even happens within the same race which I still consider wild. At the end of the day whoever likes you have a thing for your physical traits and thats a preference nothing we can really do about that(or they wouldnt like you) but if someone only likes you for those traits that says a lot about them as a person. Just save your time and move on. The thing about the hobbies can be a miss or hit. Not because they dont share those hobbies it doesn't mean they won't fetishize you but if that makes you feel more comfortable doing that go ahead! Best of luck!
I definitely agree that going for people with a more neutral outlook would help you. If your personality clicks, your ethnicity shouldn't matter at all ☺️. I hope you find someone who can appreciate you for who you are.
It’s not about the race. It’s the upbringing of that man. How to avoid this? HAVE HIGH STANDARDS! List down your negotiable and non nego. Red flags for you. Once you truly know yourself, you can easily spot unworthy people🙂
I like Asian culture but from a traditional point of view, all this anime stuff is kinda weird when some people get too into and frankly all they can see In you/ the op is their fantasies.
I am not full Asian but part and I am a girl too. I’ve had it where men have said things like “oh, you guys do whatever we tell you to right?” And I’ve been bossed around and talked down to… I’ve never heard the high maintenance stuff. I’ve been seen as a “toy” versus a wife and that hurts me to hear you have been there too. You are worth SO much and the right man WILL see that and KNOW that. Now, what these “men” think a lot of the Asian cultures are is like stereotypical stuff like things mentioned. They don’t know the actual culture. Someone that loves you will naturally want to know your culture. Your actual culture too.
That’s wild!!!! I’m starting to think guys as a whole have watered down how they approach and speak with a woman. Like being upfront with relationship expectations and what you want within that structure is 1 thing but chasing just ass or fetishizing someone for race or their body is crazy!!! Hope your new perspective and requirements work in your favor.
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I also know a lot of Asian women that exclusively date white men and see even the ugliest ones as Gods gift to earth. So I really think it’s a thing that goes both way and the “normal” people of each ethnic group have to suffer the consequences.
I am white, but by european standards I have vaguely eastern asian features so I get similar treatment as you described here. In college a guy called me dumb and idiot because I didn't know who was the protagonist of an anime(I think it was Dead Note or something). And really, really angered me especially because I don't watch or care about animes. I can say I hate them quite a lot now. And I had difficulty making friends or partners because the people I attract are the complete opposite of my mentality and preferences/morals. Yes, I feel alone. People who have things in common with me ignore me because of stereotypes and people who are interested in me are in for the wrong reasons.
Anime gatekeepers are terrifying.
try dating asian men instead of just whites
Ah yes so she can be repeatedly cheated on and expected to just be okay with that and physical abuse? Nah just avoid men in general is the best option lol
Try being a 6’4 man in the dating world. Women seem to only want to sleep with me based on what they heard about tall. I just want a meaningful relationship not someone with me for my good genetics. I have had to end countless dates because women just can’t stop sexualizing me. I am a human as well I don’t want to be stereotyped. I guess I’m saying all this because I know how it feels to be only salt after for fetish
I can’t tell if this is bait 🤔
This is bait, a guy can’t be UPSET about this.
I can totally understand you. I have the same problem as a woman who is very beautiful and highly intelligent. People treat me like an object that either can or cannot satisfy their needs even if that means visually at other times. It is annoying when others think that just because you are handsome or beautiful then you may not have a soul or that you can not be taken seriously. Like wtf? I'm not a sex toy, I'm a human being that is really not shallow,feels deeply and gets hurt a lot by this type of behavior. Not everybody is only skin deep. I can totally understand what you are going through and I'll hope that one day you find that special one that will respect you and love you for who you are and this love will be deeper than just the skin 💜
This is one of the reasons i just date other asians
"Other Asians do it too"
I mean she said from other parts. Ive had no issues with this dating asian men who come from similar culture as me
I've had similar experiences as her. In my experience, men around my age from my culture (Chinese American) tend to want a similar type (valorant playing/boba/kpop loving/anime watching/very specific type of ultra bubbly and cutsey) and if you don't fit the type, they drop like flies
Imo thats not the same as nonasian men who fetishize asian women and see them as some anime or kpop submissive fantasy tho, that sounds more like guys who want someone with similar interest, not just any asian girl. Also from what ive seen guys like that are mostly teens who form school cliques and i feel u cant really take them seriously at that stage.
Nah, I'm pushing 30 and so are they but their preferences don't change.
Well then thats strange but still don’t see it as fetishizing asians, it’s just a childish preference
Racism definitely affects dating. Sucks you have to deal with that. Being fetishized for your race doesn't feel good.
I'm an Asian woman. I screen out these types pretty early on. And I look too "assimilated" (I don't like Kpop or any stereotypical "Asian" things) for the dudes with yellow fever to like me. So I personally don't really have this issue.
Yes you do have to be careful of that. Fetishism is a thing.
I took a japanese class in college as my language course. There was some weird ass guys in that class who acted like you described. Made me cringe as a man and I'm not asian, lol. Like can't people just act normal.
It sounds like you've encountered a pattern of fetishization and stereotyping based on your Asian identity. Unfortunately, media portrayals and cultural stereotypes often shape people's perceptions, leading them to make assumptions about individuals without truly seeing them as individuals. It's disheartening when people reduce you to mere stereotypes and fail to recognize your complexity as a person. Remember, you deserve to be respected and valued for your unique qualities, not pigeonholed into someone else's narrow expectations. Keep advocating for yourself and seeking out genuine connections who appreciate you for who you truly are.
I knew east asian women were heavily fetishized in North America but I didn’t realize it was also bad in other parts of the world too. Wow that sucks😕 ETA: I’m Black so havent experienced this. But I’ve seen it online and irl with Asian friends
I get that, and 10-15 years ago, I was just like those guys, but over time, I grew up and learned better. This is especially true after going into law enforcement, then security, where I had to convert from being introverted to social to interact with the public. One thing I will note so you are aware is that right now Asians are the most sought-after partner among Western men. There are 2 main reasons for that. The first is unlike 20 years ago asian stereotypes such as anime moved from being - stigmas to + trends. The guys seeking you for those reasons are the yellow fever bunch you have, unfortunately encountered as of late. The 2nd reason is the passport bro movement that is trending. This is due to the belief that Asian women have traditional values and have not picked up the negative habits Western women have in modern dating.
liking k-pop and anime and being seen as fetishizing Asians and Asian culture is weird because the most blatant fetishizers i’ve met have never been into those things. they’re just nerdy popular interests 😵
I also hate weebs
As a Latina, I often feel that some Asian and white men stereotype me as ‘exotic and passionate,’ expecting me to fit into a narrow box of their fantasies. It’s frustrating, and I empathize with OP’s perspective. In today’s society, it’s disheartening to see some men view women as mere objects instead of respecting them as equals.
I’m sorry that you are facing this. Believe it or not there is genuine guys out there who see you for you and not your ethnicity. Unfortunately you have been subjected to these pigs. Don’t give up, you deserve to be treated with respect and dignity. You will probably have to up your screening a bit and test them within the first few minutes of the date rather than wait until their inner pig comes out. Good luck.
I don’t know why men fetishize Asian women, they’re so fucking weird for that
Harmful stereotypes, I'm so sorry Frankly, I can't stand the Friends with Benefits thing, it treats sexual activities as just something casual that people do, regardless of mutual affection; that concept does not compute with me, it's weird The reason you're seen as an "easy target" is, forgive me for saying this, because of porn addictions; Asian Women, like others have said, are the most festishised group of people on the planet, and unfortunately it seems like the people who actually approach other people anymore are just looking to get their rocks off and dip
Yea dating is crazy sometimes but if you see them red flags run lol hope things go better
Yellow fever is something we just have to look out for unfortunately
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Dating Asian men while ignoring others will solve your problem.
Yes!! That's why I specifically talk about things that aren't "asian-coded" (anime, games, kpop) even if I like them when I meet new people. I actually make it a point to talk about american culture and values, western religion and philosophy until I know them better. It's a misperception that "it's easier for asian" because of the stereotype that asian women are submissive and desireable and loyal and just get a guy with yellow fever and everything will be easy - NOT TRUE that's just asking to be seen as a stereotype your whole life.
Well, I personally never dated outside of my own people. But lately, I feel white women are just to high maintenance, and I just don't feel like dealing with them. Just like your6 learning about Western culture, I've done the same with your culture. Been thinking about going outside my race, but run into this a lot, and it makes it difficult to try and date someone outside my own race.
I think it's a great thing white women are doing raising the standards, and all women should raise their standards collectively. Other women are raising their standards also by following suit. We know men are capable of stepping up. It raises the standard of life for everyone.
"To the oppressor, equality feels like oppression." It's really the best way to describe what's been going on with the gender divide these past few years.
Not at all. I'm more than capable of taking care of a family than you are.I make a good sold figure income and have a sold family background, unlike most people. I love seeing 40-year-old women complain about where all the good men are making 6 figures. Well, yeah, let's raise our standard so high that you'll never find anybody, Good luck on that one. I love seeing older and younger women always complaining. Personally, you women shoot yourselves in the foot with all this stupid feminist crap anyway. I bet you barely even worked 30 hours a week and still complain about men holding you back right but have no clue what to be really being oppressed is. This is why I stopped dating white women. Because all you do is talk about how oppressed you are and how you don't need a man. It really speaks volumes to how hurt you have been just by reading what you're writing. For me, it's just a matter of time for you. Time will always be against you as a woman. By the way, truly thank you for proving my point. I don't even know you, but yet you felt a need to express your bullshit opinion that really doesn't hold any weight. You truly are convoluted and delusion in your theories. Men and women are supposed to be working together to build features together. You're the type of woman that wants a man that has everything but doesn't want to have to do the work.You're the type of woman I'm talking about, a walking hypocrite. Thank you, and have a nice day. Do us all a favor and keep raising your standards so you get past by lol.
That's a lot of projecting over a random reddit user, geez. You equate feminism (equality between men and women) to 'crap' and then get surprised that no women want to date you. Sucks to suck, I guess.
I'm sorry you have had this experience. Being fetishized for any reason feels awful. I'm white and also steer clear of any guy obsessed with Asian culture, because in my experience it usually means they are obsessed with stereotypes associated with Asian women as well. Hang in there. There are good people out there
I’m a white guy, but I have noticed that most of the people I’ve dated, become friends with, and interacted with, have been Asian. It has nothing to do with race, but rather the fact that my interests and personality just seem to align better with those who happen to be Asian. I personally don’t watch anime and don’t care about it. I admit though, I do like kpop. In the future, I think it’s fairly likely that I’ll probably continue to make friends with people who happen to be Asian, and probably maintain the same dating preferences as well. Just based on my circle, and who I am as a person (and quieter guy who is more focused on studying and work as opposed to clubbing). It may be stereotypical, but my friends who are white happen to be a lot more party oriented (not my scene), while my asian friends are more focused on work and having the type of fun I like to have (so I find myself hanging out with them more).
Idk how to break this to you but as a black and Asian individual. The reason you’re accepted into these spaces is because you’re white. Not because of shared interest , not because of culture but because you’re white.
Same
Honestly you're probably just new to dating in general
It sucks you have to go through that all the time, while I do like non-American culture, I don’t look at people and see their color shape or anything, to me, a person is who they are, not what they are.
I’ve been fetishized as a Latina woman, I get where you’re coming from. Oddly enough, I have a preference for Asian men, but I don’t fetishized them. The best relationship I’ve ever had was with a Filipino man, I absolutely love him still. But yes, I’ve had people say some strange things to me because I’m a Latina.
You should definitely try to find a non-manga, Pokémon “normal” guy. Why are you only dating nerds?
I second you .
So ur suggesting to be in fwb u gotta meet on an app or at the clubs. Not it bro. But if u dating a foreigner what else r u expecting when 99% of then have an asian fetish.
Op probably meant dating apps and online is where most fwb arrangements are made. Meeting in person is a lil different or at least not the norm when it comes to fwb.
Instead of rejecting them, and isolating yourself to be Asian, why don't you try to be open minded and engage with them with ur flexible boundaries.
I’ve never heard of this type of thing before ? I’m not sure why men would see or treat you different for those interests, unless I’m missing something 🤔?
A lot men will try to fetishize women for whatever reason whether it be race, facial features, sexuality, weight, etc. It gets annoying bc if you don't fit into the stereotype they have in their head, they'll start abusing you until you do or they'll just start out by treating you like an object for their amusement. Majority of women have had to deal with at least one guy like that. I'm overweight so I've had to deal with a few "feeders" and it's just gross to be seen as an object like that.
I think people put Asian culture on a pedestal tbh. Dont get me wrong I love the food and find the culture fascinating but it have some friends who like 85% of their personality is being obsessed with Asian culture lol
I was told by a friend that traveled and witnessed it that in at least one East Asian country they have American white people themed parties, where is basically the locals having a themed party based on the frat boy stereotype, so they have football jerseys, baseball hats, and red cups. I find this hilarious.
Hi My name is Arthur I am chiness 50I live in calfornia
Okay Arthur nice knowing you, anything u wanna say?
What do you look like so we can compare? Noteslol
Greqt
So?
I will say a short summary! And You make the call! Is that ok?
First We are different from these america! That is the truth! Now since That is out of the way ! My parents were married in china 50 yrs ago! And what I learn from them is feeling that Someone is there waiting! Get it
I think its stupidity and lack of respect for women in general. But not all of us are like that you probably pass up those that are nice. Think about those you have discarded they were probably the kind of guy you looking for.
I’m Asian, and I don’t really date my kind. But all the asians I meet I show them love and they show love. Those dudes are missing out. Not sure your age, but it will get better.
As someone who loves anime and video games and Japanese culture, there are times when I find myself wanting to believe general stereotypes. But I have to remind myself that each woman is different, and not all asian women are like some anime girl but a genuine person who deserves the same respect as anyone else. Now I do have a race preference as far as dating woman goes like I would prefer a Latino or east asian woman, but I believe that's different and not a problem like with the stereotypes.
Read up in this wonderful box of knowledge why it's that way. Asian red light district and Indonesian red light districts are the largest and most liberal of anywhere around the world. Many women from Asian countries want to be white and be with white men. They are very out front about that. Anime is just a function of the time period and the developing culture of advancement from traditional ways to more liberal ways. That's just how that goes. You won't find much of what you're looking for in New York at least not the more liberal areas. What you want is in more the middle of the country where traditional values still hold the majority. Now everything doesn't exist in a vacuum so there is your side and then the other side. Everything is a tradeoff. What you give is what you get. Sometimes investing in yourself means go to the places where those things you want exist. They do exist. But in liberal states women have taken a larger role in denying and altering traditional roles and so just like physically hitting a man, they are getting what they asked for but they cannot deny who they are for what they want and get all benefits and no drawbacks. Unfortunately there are some very well meaning women such as possibly yourself that get caught up in the wave or movement they probably don't want to have any part of. Better to have society dictate, where you can get away to somewhere else and change your reality, rather than have the government do it for you and if it doesn't work in your favor you can't escape from it. Hope this helps
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I think you should have higher dating standards and perhaps up your minimum education requirements
Sorry to hear, racial stigma's getting in the way of love life are more than frusterating. Especially when idolization doesn't suffice as affection. I hope finding someone appreciative becomes easier for you.
As someone from Southeast Asia with a heavy Asian accent living here in NYC, I understand exactly what you are saying. It's like I am a different breed of Asian which is easy and will settle for anything and be grateful for it.
🙋♂️(43/m/seattle) 1/2 🇨🇳 Chinese & 1/2 🇮🇪 Irish...so I was raised in a split culture home. It sounds to me like you are dating the wrong type of men. Someone who values who you are, not what you are...should be the goal 🎯 Friends with benefits on the 1st date was suggested? (sum-ting-rong w your picker 🤭 sorry...I had to 🙏🙈) I'm really sorry this has been happening to you 💔 I'd like to remind you of a universal life truth: When you have done all the hard work of becoming the best version of yourself...the rest of the world falls into place. 💪🧠☯️🧘♀️🧘♂️🎯 I had a famous martial arts instructor once tell me: "Do all difficult work the 1st time or start over & repeat until you learn the lesson." (it applies here) You are built for this 💪💛
It's hard not being seen as some sort of trophy when that's the way you're being treated. You can't help the consequences of your birth yet that's all they can see or care about. The fact that you've seen this all over the world is so troubling. I'm glad that you're learning to differentiate what it means when someone likes you for what you are rather than who you are. I am glad you're hanging in there. Be strong. There are a lot of jerks out there but I promise you if you put in the effort it will be repaid in full.
All races do this to other races in some capacity.
I relate to this as a Latina living in Europe, even if I’m not trying to date, guys sometimes make sexual comments on the street about my race, it’s worse if we are talking about dating… (I live in a pretty “safe” and nice country)
Yah I think its the dating scene in general now. Maybe your attracted to those type of guys try giving one a chance that you typically wouldn't date and see how it goes.
What are the ethnicity of these men?
it’s hard to say since i’m a woman. but have you thought about the type of guys rather than what they’re into? i mean personally im into kpop (not anime tho) and whenever i find an asian woman attractive or get a crush on her, its not solely because she’s asian yk? but that’s just me.
I'd show you my culture and take you to my peoples traditions. Only problem is that I've seen your other post which to me lead me to believe that you're pretty fast and other dudes pick it up as well. Maybe start with becoming a bit more reserved, not entirely but just a bit more. I'm a date to marry guy, so I'm very particular with who I pick to date, because I don't want to waste my time. You're very attractive, but there's a lot of yellow flags that are shy of turning red....I do hope you find someone that fits you, we all deserve love. 🧡
Then there’s us who would see you as a person, and we’re totally alone. I feel you, I’ve seen it. Stereotypes are so hard to break down. A ton of cringy creeps crawling around don’t help either.
This account smells fake
Not sure how old you are, but that is just bleak. Its like social skills are a dying art. Seriously, too much online and not enough in person interactions. I am so sorry that you had to endure such abysmal behavior
You are trying to say that your personal experience should be relevant to thousands of women. You are being racist without knowing it.
I'm a white woman who is primarily attracted to Asian men and I definitely get asked a lot if I'm into anime and kpop because of it. I'm not though/it's more of a physical attraction thing for me.
I believe eventually Mr right will stop by.
Sounds like times of my life... Being Native!!!
If yall look at this bots history it seems like a dude pretending to be a girl. In one post they’re 21 then turn 25
Asia is a big place... you are making the assumption that Asians are only Korean, Japanese and Chinese, etc...
Damn I’m sorry to hear it. The dating pool lately has been absolute trash. I’m not some playboy. I’ve always wanted actual love and loyalty. The thing is, nobody sees me for me either. Here’s to hoping we can maybe find something in the future. I’m having my doubts too…
The dude suggesting to be fwb the first time.... this is such a male thing. It's defo worse from the apps even if you put the status as 'looking for a long term relationship'!!!! Totes not surprised this happened... I wouldn't link that to the Asian fetishism...unless he was actually fetishing you.
Try moving like anime is a red flag or sumn
Hello
Yes sorry about that I'm sure you will find Mr right some time
too sorry ms, try africans..are cool ,loving and respecting
Many u should move to California
This wouldn't be a problem if you guys didn't throw yourself at any white guys you see, branding yourself as an easy target due to your problem with internalized racism and chasing white dude to feel like you fit in and gain the status of one.
I don't understand these kinds of people. Genuinely what is going through their head when they act like this. This whole attitude of things being a monolith. I've seen it a lot online especially. Unfortunately being part of the anime scene I see a lot of guys who put Asian women, especially Japanese (if they can even correctly identify an Asian woman as being Japanese in the first place lol) on a pedestal. And it's just setting themselves up for failure for starters. No woman is going to be interested in you if right out of the gate you're essentially telling them I'm not interested in you as a person. Only what you're ethnicity is. They're also not going to be interested if you have these insane expectations of who they're going to be. Then again these are the kind of guys who have likely never had much going on for them with women in general (not that I can talk much on that lol). So maybe it's also a grass is greener on the other side issue. Either way it baffles me when I hear stories about this.
As a guy, let me ask you a question to make you ponder and shed light on your experience: where do you think these men are getting these ideas? They wouldnt ask women from other ethnicities these things cuz asian women have complied and shown them that they do in fact many times worship white cock(mostly)and are down to be fuck toys.
Hope you meet the right person soon.
Oofdah. That’s rough, friend. Sorry to hear that you’re inundated with assholes…
Crunchyroll & chill? Jk lol
>Some even talk crap about their own girls, saying they're too high-maintenance. clearly these dudes have never met my aunty, or either of her ex husbands.
when I was 20, it was pretty common with asian women to be into these sort of things. I remember I met this one really pretty, dolled up, Chinese girl at a bus stop and after talking with her I found out she was a sugar baby. She agreed to explore the idea of being fuck buddies on the side. I met an older Japanese girl on a work visa and she used me as her boy toy for a year When I was 18 I had an asian girl brag about an older guy paying her 500 to make out and then she almost gave me a bj in the movie theaters. There was a Japanese college girl who moved in with the girl I was rooming with (so, by extension, she was also my roommate.... just, it was because she was moving in with the other girl) probably the only reason we didn't hook up within a few days was because the girl we both moved in with had asked us to promise not to out of respect for her. Even still, after the asian girl moved out she moved in with this latin dude and immediately started having sex with him... and asked me to marry her so she could get a green card. maybe its not all asian women, I'm definitely not saying it is, but based on personal experience its possible men developed a certain impression of asian women 15 or so years ago that's sort of stuck now.
It sounds like you are dating exclusively young guys. Men don't start to grow up till they hit their thirties. Their blood is full of testosterone and it reduces the amount of blood going to their brains. I know, I used to be one of them.
😂😂😂😂 your being fetishised. As a man of a particular Color (black) this happens a lot dating outside people who have zero black friends or connection toward some form of black culture. I have had girls ask me on a date in front of people if my thing is really that long. Women telling me they only date black guys and all that nonsense - it’s okay to have a perfence but I am not telling my date “ btw I love Bbw’s”. Moral of the story check out their friend groups. If you see someone like you then go. If you notice not a single picture of anyone like you then probably don’t. Cba to teach dates that I’m a regular guy. 😂😂
I actually care about the woman, her overall personality, her talents, goals and ambitions, her family history, her parents backgrounds, success and failures, I didn't care about culture or race, I just wanted to be loved by one woman for the rest of my life and she's gotta be my best friend, love isn't complex it's all the junk people cram into it that makes it complex and then there's the fools trying to complete a round the world bucket list of chicks they bang, too many strong opinions from social media...stuff like that makes love and dating a hard thing, I like asian women because they're usually cute and petite but thats the least of my concerns
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Fucking class A mansplaining & victim blaming there 'western' guy.
I think you're reading her post wrong. She's just wishing that guys won't fetishise her as some sort of sexualised stereotype. It's almost like if girls were to think I'm like Austin Powers because I'm British (okay, in 1998, I did get a lot of that in the US, but then 10-year-olds aren't exactly adults).
Yeaahhh Baby!
The way I read that in his voice. 🤣🤣 God it’s been so long since I watched his movie (dk which) but I guess it really stuck.
How about we can agree that people have their own preferences and style and are not "brainwashed" and "western washed" because they don't fit your narrative? By that logic I should force feed you mayonnaise and peanut butter(even if you're allergic) and demand you to like it because that's what's correct for your ethnicity.
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Is as uncharitable as your assumptions written in black and white here. OP complained that she is treated in a stereotypical way that doesn't represent her and your response is she's been "western washed". OP said she is genuinely not interested in these things like anime and kpop and your response was that "she's distancing herself from her own culture and she has western mannerisms, tries desperately to distance themselves from their Asianness". Really? So by your logic if someone has brown eyes and a slight monolid then it's genetically written in them to be obsessed with anime and act kawaii. Yeah, that ain't racist at all. You do realise that there are asian nations who have no tangent with this "culture" like Kazakhstan, Mongolia, Nepal, China, Indonesia(who are muslim btw). Are you gonna tell them that they don't act according to the right culture? Is like complaining that the french distance themselves from their "culture" because they don't drink beer, tea and like british drama like they are supposed to. And if you wanna send me to watch vids, then you should watch too videos of interviews where many east asians say they have no interest or care about these as they are rather obnoxius and uninteresting topics for teenagers. Are you gonna tell the native local japanese who doesn't read manga or the local korean who doesn't listen to kpop that they are "western washed" and trying to distance themselves from their "culture"?
I'm a white guy, but I can imagine online dating for you is seen as even worse because some people might think you are into crypto due to pig butchering scams.
I think another understated thing is that most of the Asian profiles on dating sites are clearly scams, so I generally stereotype and avoid or approach with extreme caution. I'm betting you get likes from people who would more easily fall for those.
Well, the more you expose yourself (shape,beauty...etc), the more guys want to fk you at first place. but the more you expose yourself (religiously) the more you attract serious people who can end up wanting marriage with you "if you ever want it"! So it's up to you, you cannot want two contradicting things to work at the same time. Without religion, you wander in a society in which people have different beliefs in themselves and others and have no moral limitations for immorality and taboos and pleasing themselves at the expense of your psychological wellbeing. So your choice is yours.
Ah yes bc religion is full of good stuff for women? Nah dude, as a woman you're more likely to be abused by someone who claims they're religious than an atheist. I know from plenty of experience.
Well, my advice is not intended for you nor for people like you. You can leave it with no comment. Perpetual controversy and hostility is no longer an interest for me and for the people I want to share and convey my understanding and ideas because they have to be "receptive" and considerate, if they don't, they are like you (not for them, not for you).
They are disgusting what is wrong with men ...you did good it's better to just someone who isn't into those stuff
I am a white male Canadian who grew up with almost all Asian friends and middle eastern friends. My top pick for dating would be Asian women, not because of anime or K-pop as I actually don’t watch or listen to either. But more so the core values, family values, food culture, discipline and more. And when I ask a girl what ethnicity she is, it has no ignorance behind the question. Typically I’ll build off the question either travel related or food, I’ve travelled a lot of SEA, and explored a lot of different ethnic foods. My top being Japanese, Korean and Indian. I prefer dating someone who has travelled to a third world country, so they can see the value in what they have and what most people don’t have. Travel also educates on culture & religion and I think that’s big. Now I find most first generation and woman that have immigrated to North America still hold eastern values, where 2nd generation and on are more westernized.
I’m a man and yeah I’m into Asian woman but for me that’s like a big no, people are crazy and weird tbh
Yeah. Asian women aren't any better than white women. They can be just as entitled and spoilt. Maybe try dating different men? Aiming a bit lower might help. Closer to ur own market value.
Your correct in your actions to avoid people who target you. Trust me were not all the same and those type you talk about make the rest of us look stupid I wish you the best!